Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Elf Exodus

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

The ladies have another crafty Christmas session as they jazz up their own baubles! Plus, they dive into a secret about an Elf on the Shelf wreaking havoc and driving one mum to despair. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hello, this is the Secret Mom Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Christmas crafts Thursday episode. Where we're chatting all about DIY and budget Christmas activities. So you can build your very own Secret Mom Club Christmas. Shall we jump on in?

It's time for the Christmas Crafts corner. Hark the herald angels sing, glory to the newborn king. I love bashing that one out in church. Do you? Yeah. You don't go to church? I do for Christmas carols. Oh do you? Is that a prank?

No, you actually do. That's not a joke. Oh, lovely. I love going to a carol concert. I love going to a carol concert. I love going to church over Christmas. And you can really go for it with Hark the Herald. It's very high.

Midnight mass, which I thought was midnight is not. No, I don't go at midnight. I'm too tired. It's midnight mass at midnight. Somebody told me it wasn't at midnight. Yeah, it does happen at certain churches, but I don't go at midnight because I'm too tired. No, I just go at normal time.

You just go at like 5pm or something. It's very cute at the church at Christmas. Yeah, it's nice. Yeah. Every week we're sharing a little craft you can try at home. And we'll be having a go at it right here in the studio. And then you can catch the full tutorial

over on our YouTube channel at Secret Mom Club. This week's theme is decorations. Love a decoration. Yeah. There are so many DIY decorations you can do, but I thought we could pimp our own baubles. Pimp your balls. Pimp, p own ball balls. Pimp your balls. Pimp, pimp your balls.

Pimp my balls. You're not going to want to miss how we pimped our balls. It was quite the ride, wasn't it? It was quite the ride. Right. Right. Right. Right. The ride. My mum and dad would be so proud. I can't believe you're going to make your mum and dad hang your one on their tree. It was an absolute monstrosity.

Would you take that back? Take it right back. It was fucking delicious. We were talking about doing cute little baby hand prints or baby footprints, which would be about the right size for a Christmas ball ball. You decided to stick your whole massive hand. Purple hand. On the ball ball. Actually it was purple. A massive purple claw that now currently sits on the top of the tree like a star. And I filled it with some furry balls on the inside. But you can also use them clear ball balls, which we have said in the video as well, to put all your some little memorabilia of the, your

baby. Yeah, so like baby's first Christmas or something. Yeah. I just have it all year round. You could just, you could glue the ball up so it stays permanently shut, pop a ribbon in it and then it just goes in the tree every year. Yeah. And it's just a lovely little... It's like your little time capsule, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. But one you can see and that's not very... And then you can just hand it down to them when they get big. Yeah. If they want to keep their crusty belly button. Yeah, they'll be like, cheers for this umbilical cord, mum. You weirdo. Dead piece of skin that's... Dead piece of skin that's stuck.

Dead piece of skin of 30 years. Ugh. You don't have to do that. Do you think it's gonna disappear? I just thought of that. Will it just disintegrate and there'll just be a peg? No, I don't think so. But his skin, does the skin disintegrate?

I think it gets to a point where it's just like dried up and that's how it stays. I don't know. People who've got 30 year old umbilical cords, let us know. Joseph still looks like a bit beef jerky. Yeah, ours look like beef jerky. It's going strong. They don't smell though. No, not anymore. I think they lose that smell after a while. But you can put those in there,

but you could also do their little handprints on them. Or you could cut a piece of paper and put it inside like I did. Paint straight on it. I did a little holly bush on mine. Yep, Emma's looked obviously so great. I was actually quite impressed with mine, not to toot my own horn, but I'm not normally the crafty type. She definitely didn't out craft me. Look at my- You're really pleased with yours, aren't you?

I'm so pleased with her. You could do whatever you want though. Honestly, do whatever you want. And you can also do the hand prints and the feet prints of the children on cards and have them as Christmas cards. Exactly. Or even frame them and have them every year.

Yeah. I do them every year. I do mine every year with the babies, probably until they're about 40 and they've got size 11 feet. Do they still love having their, cause Joseph, he used to hate anything like messy, again, my child, or like having his hand painted or anything like that at nursery, he didn't like it.

Now, I think he loves the sensory kind of feel of it. It feels so nice. Yeah, it's quite calming, isn't it? We like doing like the little fingerprint trees as well. When you do like a little tree and you can do the petals with the fingerprints. For the leaves. That's a nice one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love doing that. What other craft is that you're doing for decorations this Christmas? So we've done our baubles, haven't we? Yeah. We've also got some... You just mentioned a thing

that really threw me back to primary school, salt dough. Yes, salt dough. We're going to say paper chains, weren't we? You can do paper chains with the babies. They love doing that. Really easy. Super easy. Yeah, salt dough that we did at school.

Do you remember doing it? You bake it and it kind of goes hard. And the teachers used to say, don't eat it. Yeah, you try and eat it. It looks a bit like a cookie. But it looks like a biscuit. Honestly, it tastes like the ocean in your mouth. It tastes like shit.

Oh, fuck. Looks great, though. Looks divine. And you can bake it and You try and eat it. It tastes a bit like a cookie. It's like, yeah. But it looks like a biscuit. Honestly, it tastes like the ocean in your mouth. Oh, fuck. Looks great though. Looks divine. And you can bake them, couldn't you? And then paint them.

Yeah. So you bake them and then they go rock hard, let them cool and then you can paint them. And you can do bobble ones or you can, you could do the baby's hand print. So I've got some of the children's where you do it, do the dough, push the baby's handprint into it, then bake it. You could do it in any shape.

And you can paint it. You could do anything you want. You could do Skyman, Reindeer. Middle finger. Up yours this Christmas. Get that on your tree. I did something similar with Joseph with, they were actually sea creatures. We did it, I mean, I don't know who I think I am. It's one craft that we ever did in his life. We made plaster sea creatures. They went into little molds.

It was so much easier than I thought it was gonna be. I was like, oh, this is gonna be a messy nightmare. But actually it was so easy and he loved it. And he kept him entertained for like a whole afternoon. And then you set them and then you just pop them out of the mold and then you paint them. But obviously you could do Christmas themed ones. You could do anything you want.

Do anything, honestly. The world's your oyster. The world is your oyster. So yeah, you got anything you want to share, decoration wise? That's the extent of my craftiness. Paper chains, salt dough. Yeah.

Ball balls. You could even have them, you could even have real cookies on the tree if you really wanted to. And eat them at the end. Yeah. If they're still all right after four weeks of being on the tree.

Yeah, I don't know. Maybe don't recommend. Don't recommend that. Yeah, you can do anything you want, can't you? You can, yeah. Possibilities are endless. You'll see that when you watch the video of us making the ball balls that this, I'd say, wasn't either of our fortes, but we enjoyed ourselves. I normally have a child to do the craft with. So it's hard, isn't it? When you just get their little hand and you paint away and you go, oh, this is what we're gonna do. Or their imagination as well.

So the moment you give them pipe cleaners, fluffy balls, glue, paint, they're like, wow! And they just create some phenomenal shit. I'm not gonna lie. We're just two 36 year olds trying to make a- Trying to relive our youth. Yeah. Just trying to make it fun for all of you.

Obviously just to go over as well that we are definitely doing these Christmas crafts on a budget. So although you could go all out for all of the Christmas things, everything is on a budget. So it's designed to just make things that are not expensive, not to go out and buy all these flash things, just make some bits at home. We got the, what do we get a pack of baubles? Yeah, the clear baubles. And we had them from last year as well.

We did. But if you were buying them new, I think they're like a couple of quid. They're just the clear baubles that you can break apart and then put back together again. You can go to the pound shop, pound land, pound stretcher, the works, the range, anywhere, anywhere you can get them. But there are a lot of things that you've probably

already got in your house if you've got kids, like glue, paint. Yeah, just reuse them. And obviously the salt dough is just flour, water and salt, which everybody has in their house already. So yeah, they are crafts on a budget to make you have fun at home without breaking the bank. Yes. Yes. You can watch the full video of us making our baubles over on our YouTube channel. It's at Secret Mom Club. And send us pictures of

your crafts if you do anything. If you do, do them. If do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do It's bought to you by Vouchercodes.co.uk, the UK's most trusted voucher and discount code site and app. There's nothing better than saving a bit of money when you shop. Especially at Christmas with all the gifts to buy. Absolutely, it's great to save a little or even stretch your budget to get someone a nicer gift. Everyone wins. Now, have you done all your Christmas shopping yet?

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Go to vouchercodes.co.uk for discounts that work. Terms and conditions apply. Whoa! Did you hear that? Panthera partis, if I'm not mistaken. Cool! I'm Earth Ranger Emma, by the way. Wildlife investigator and podcasting legend. I'm on a mission to uncover the secrets of the animal kingdom. Catch all the action on the Earth Rangers podcast,

where you can join the wild journey and learn how to protect our amazing planet. Look for Earth Rangers in your favorite podcast thingy. I'll meet you there. Timothy Chalamet transforms into the enigmatic Bob Dylan in a complete unknown, a cinematic captivation that explores the tumultuous life of a musical icon. This mesmerizing film captures the essence of Dylan's rebellious spirit and his relentless

pursuit of artistic innovation. From the director of acclaimed films, Walk the Line and Logan, this extraordinary cinematic experience is a testament to the power of music and the enduring legacy of a true visionary. Watch the trailer now and secure your tickets for a truly unforgettable cinematic experience. A complete unknown. Only in theaters December 25th. Welcome back. We love a secret on The Secret Mom Club. And you're all so good at sharing. So what have you got for us today? Emma Jones. Dr. Jones. Colin, Emma Jones, Emma Jones, Emma Jones, give us a fucking secret now. You ruined it, you didn't even go with my line.

Sorry, this comes from Anonymous. It says, Hi, Soph and Emma, I've got an elf on the shelf problem. My problem is he's not even in my fucking house. Yeah, you don't do it. No, I do not. I'm not putting that pressure on myself. Fuck that elf. I'm surprised that's quite you. Fuck that elf. I think that's quite you, elf on the shelf. No, that's not me at all. I'm not having my babies think that and tiny persons come in and smear shit all over my toilet seat.

No, I'm fucking scared of it. I don't know about anybody else. All right, this says I need your help. We started the tradition last year for my five and two year olds and they absolutely loved it. At first it was fun coming up with creative scenarios for the elves, but two weeks in I was so over it. The constant mess and pressure to think of new mischievous ideas drove me mad. So I made an executive decision. I was going to hide the elves and never bring them out again. Fast forward to this year while decorating the tree, I completely forgot I'd shoved the elves in the decoration box. Of course, the girls found them and are now buzzing with excitement about what chaos the elves will cause decoration box. Of course, the girls found them and are now buzzing with excitement about what chaos the elves will cause this year.

I honestly can't be bothered. I really feel for you. How do I get rid of these bloody elves without my kids asking for them every single day? Help me, a very fed up mum. I'm not going to lie, my sister's 15 years deep with these fucking elves. She's carried it on. She's carried it on for the fourth baby. Has it been going for 15 years?

Well, no, I think it's probably about 12. I think it's 12 years Roxanne jokes about it, but I think it feels like a lifetime. I was not bringing those things into my house. One, you can buy fucking outfits for them. The cost to try and keep this shit going. It's ridiculous. I'm not doing it. I can't even fold my fucking ironing pile, let alone think about what the fucking elves have been doing all night. This is the one thing I just think that doesn't

wash with me at Christmas is the elves. I'm so surprised. I had you down as an elf on the shelf mum. No, I'm not. I just can't get on board with it. No. No, I'm not. I just can't. I just can't get on board with it. I just. How I would say is I would strap them to a firework and shoot them. And blast them into space. Shoot them back to the North Pole, if I'm honest. I can't. I don't even know if I can give you any advice on this. I just think they are just so I can't even watch anybody do can give you any advice on this. I just think they are just so,

I can't even watch anybody doing elf, like doing the elf. No, do you see it on your social media? All the time, I can't watch it. I can't watch the waste of cereal is being pulled all over the floor. The waste of Nutella, all I think is, God, that shit is expensive and it's smeared on your box.

And you've got a fucking, it's giving yourself an extra job to clean this shit up. It's another job, it's just another job. It's insanity. Listen, anonymous, we're not gonna, we're not gonna make you feel bad for this. We're on your side fully. Fully, we are with you. We need to conjure up a plan as to how we're gonna get rid of these. There is no plan, you're fucked. I'm sorry. There is no way you can't, you can't get rid of them. Could you like strap them to the back of the bin, Laurie, and tell your girls they've gone There is no plan. You're fucked. I'm sorry. There is no way you can't, you can't go. You know what? Strap them to the back of the bin, Laurie and tell your girls they've gone for good.

Leave a letter to say they've retired. They've actually retired this Christmas. You can't say that to a five and a two year old. Do you know what? I actually couldn't carry, I couldn't do it at my house because shops have ruined Elf on the Shelf. It should have just been the fact that you could only buy it online. The fact that now you can go into a shop and just buy them.

Colby's like, I thought they're special. I thought they come to your house. Now they're just everywhere. And now they are everywhere. Shops have exhausted it. They saw something that went great that was really wonderful the first year. It's like Big Brother.

You've exhausted the shit out of that. You've taken it too far. You've taken it too far. You've taken it too far. It was fun when you could just buy online and it felt really magical. It's literally in every shop. My children are just like,

well, they're obviously not special if you can just- They don't ask you for it, Colby and Dottie. I've never ever done it. I've never done it. And even when like my youngest niece, Evely says, what did the elves do in your house? Colby's always said the elves don't come to our house. And the reason that they don't come to our house?

It's bullshit. We just don't live in a fun house. That's just it. The babies asked me, why didn't the elves come to us? And I say, well, we just must not be cool. Or maybe we're just too cool. Yeah. Too cool that they can't.

And do you know what I always say? The elves come to cause mischief in the house to check on you, to see if you're being good. They don't need to check on us. We're fucking good all year round. Santa knows his shit. He's like, don't send an elf to their house. They're fucking great.

Iconic. So. The problem is here with Anonymous is that she has already introduced it. Any advice we can give you. She's gotta try and get rid of it. What's she gonna do? I think the firework idea is great.

Fucked, yeah. Royally strap it to a firework and just rock them. Oh, but do you know what people say? I know it's a pain in the ass doing it and I swear I'm never gonna start it with Joseph and Saekie. I say we come back in a year's time and it would have started. I believe you will start.

It couldn't be less up my street. It's effort, you've got to be creative. It's none of my playing to none of my strengths. Exactly, we're complete opposites in this scenario. So I have stepped down from this, which makes me think that you, cause you would think I would be involved in it. Yeah, and you wouldn't think I would.

No, and I think you're gonna take it on board. But people do say when they do like an amazing elf scenario, it's lovely seeing their kids' faces. And the kids will talk about it for ages and be like, guess what we found our elf doing this morning? Can't believe it. That cheeky elf. They love it. And I think it's like that Christmas morning thing, isn't it? You see the joy on your kids' faces and you think, do you know what? It's a pain in the ass, but they love it. Again. And I do it for them.

The elf gets the fucking credit for you having fun. Why don't you just be mum and you just be fun? Like why does it have to be the elf's responsibility? Sorry, anonymous, I'm getting angry about this. I'm not even angry. Because some people do love it as well. Some people love doing it. I know, I know people love it and I'm so down for it,

but I also don't want anybody else having credit for us as mum and dad. And just adding to the workload. Father Christmas, he's not getting credit for all the hard work that we've done this year. The elves aren't getting credit for me being fucking fun as fuck and dad. And just adding to the workload. For the Christmas, he's not getting credit for all the hard work that we've done this year. The elves aren't getting credit for me being fucking fun as fuck. Sorry.

So I am having festive makes with the children in the morning and we're having fun. That's a really good idea. Maybe Anonymous could replace the elves with just doing a fun activity. Cause then you're like cutting up the middle man. Maybe you should let the elves leave and say, do you know what?

You have been so good that we don't actually need to come and check on you anymore. And you're just such a good household and we don't need to be here because we're here watching you. And in fact, you're just too good for us to watch. And we feel like we're causing too much mischief in your house when you're actually all so good. So we're gonna leave the jobs up to mommy now

for mommy to have some fun with the lead up to Christmas with you both. Yeah, and maybe you tell your little ones the elves have gone to check on someone else in their house this year. Who is maybe not being so, because I don't even like saying that they're coming to watch.

Good and bad, I know, I know. I don't like saying the good and bad. I really don't like saying the good and bad. Could you just give the elves to them as a toy and be like, you can just play with them. Mine have elves, but they just play with them. Yeah. So they're not coming to be in all these mischievous scenarios. They just, you can just hang out with them the whole time.

They come on days out with us. Like our elves are Ernie and Buds, two elves. The baby's got an elf each and they come on days out. Yeah. Just make it a toy maybe. And we just take them with them. They only come on the first of December and they just chill in the house. Yeah. When I say they come, they don't fly in on a balloon or anything like that. just make it a toy maybe. And we just take them with them. They only come on the first of December and they just chill in the house. Yeah. When I say they come, they don't fly in on a balloon

or anything like that. You get them out of the loft. I literally just get them out of the loft box. Yeah. And that's where they live. Yeah. For 11 months of the year. Yeah, maybe you just say

they just come to hang out this Christmas. I hope you've taken from this some good tips as to what you can do. Yeah. But I'm proud of you. Really proud of you for giving that a go. Yeah. Try and give it up if you can. I feel your pain.

Try and give it up if you can. It's really bad for your health. Try and give up those Elfs if you can. It's really bad for you. It's bad for your mental health, honestly. It is bad for your mental health. No joke. The amount of fear that my sister's woken up at three o'clock in the morning and had to try and fucking chuck an Elf on bloody bog roll down the toilet because she's forgotten. Yeah. Shit, I forgot to do the Elf. Yeah, no, I can't deal with the stress. The mental load at Christmas is enough without thinking about those fucking elves.

Too much. So check them, bin them. Check them, bin them, chuck them, fuck them. Don't bring them back next year. Have you discreetly got rid of your elves? Then please, for everybody's sake, let us know how you've done that. Email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mum Pod on TikTok and Instagram. And make sure you head over to our YouTube channel to watch us make our spectacular baubles.

And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club. This episode is brought to you by VoucherCodes.co.uk, the UK's most trusted voucher and discount code site and app. There's nothing better than saving a bit of money when you shop. Especially at Christmas with all the gifts to buy. Absolutely. It's great to save a little or even stretch your budget to get someone a nicer gift. Everyone wins. Now, have you done all your Christmas shopping yet?

Absolutely. You're one of those, aren't you? I am one of those. I've done nothing. Haven't you? No. Well, here's something to make it even easier. Voucher codes now have a free VIP loyalty program.

For every two shops, you get a five pound gift card, plus there are exclusive discounts, events and prizes. That's amazing. Plus they partner with all the best brands to bring unbeatable discounts and offers, helping make shopping more affordable. There are so many amazing VIP brands on there. I love Dunelm. You can get everything you need in there, can't you?

Everything! Bit of M&S. Nike, you love a trainer. I do love me a trainer. I mean, it covers all bases. Honestly, there's something for everyone. There really is. So this Christmas, save on festive gifting

with hand-tested codes that really work. Go to vouchercodes.co.uk for discounts that work. Terms and conditions apply. Timothy Chalamet transforms into the enigmatic Bob Dylan in a complete unknown, a cinematic captivation that explores the tumultuous life of a musical icon. This mesmerizing film captures the essence of Dylan's rebellious spirit and his relentless pursuit of artistic innovation.

From the director of acclaimed films, Walk the Line and Logan, this extraordinary cinematic experience is a testament to the power of music and the enduring legacy of a true visionary. Watch the trailer now and secure your tickets for a truly unforgettable cinematic experience. A Complete Unknown, only in theaters December 25th.