Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Family Takeover

Episode Date: October 10, 2024

It’s a full house as Sophiena’s entire family joins the podcast! Dottie and Colby are ready to spill their secrets of the week, while we dive into how the children feel about going back to school and welcoming baby Renley to the family. It’s an episode filled with laughter, love, chaos and plenty of chatter from everyone… except Pizza Dick, who couldn't get a word in edgewise! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A-Cast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Céline Dion. My dream? To be an international star. Could it happen again? Could Céline Dion happen again? I'm Thomas Leblanc, and Céline Understood is a four-part series from CBC Podcasts and CBC News, where I piece together the surprising circumstances that helped manufacture Celine Dion, the pop icon. Celine Understood, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere.

Acast.com Hello and welcome to the Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. I'm Dottie. I'm Colby. And I'm Chris. And we've even got baby Renly here. I'm Dotty.

I'm Colby. And I'm Chris. And we've even got baby Renly here. And this is a very special edition of the Secret Mum Pod because it's a family edition. We've got everyone in. You better buckle the fuck up because this is about to get wild. Wild! Wild! Wild!

So while Emma is off soaking up the sun, I thought I'd recruit in the whole fam. I'd get everybody in and get everybody as co-hosts and just have a really fun... Time! Slightly crazy, slightly crazy time. Fun slash crazy time. So how is everyone feeling about being on the podcast?

Good. Wait, Mum. Renly's been here a few times wait mom is renny cow yeah he still counts he's still a family member and he's human it's not like your mom's holding a baby cow he's very much still a person is he a baby cow he's not he's not a baby cow but he looks like one oh my my goodness. We're cracking, we're starting off with a bang. You know, this is crazy. Renly has been here a few times.

Dad's been on the podcast. A baby cow! Sorry. Dottie's lost her eye. Dottie has literally lost her eye. Renly's getting involved now. Renly's angry at you. So Daddy's actually been on the podcast before, but we filmed it at home. Renly's been on now. Renly's angry at you. So Daddy's actually been on the podcast before,

but we filmed it at home. Renly's been on it a couple of times. Have I been on it? No, I don't think you two have. No, we haven't. So this is our first time. This is your debut. But in the studio.

In the studio, yes. Not on a stage or something. I'll be horrified. Would you? Yeah, but loads of people on the stage. What if Mummy does it on the stage one day? What if I go live on the stage one day? That'd be cool. Would it be cool? That'd be cool. Would you come and watch

me? I will come watch, but not do it with, because I'm like... I would stand on the stage and just do cartwheels all around. There we go. Two very different children. One will go on the stage, one will not go on the stage. Each will not go on the stage. Each and every week, Emma and I share what's going on in our lives and have a little catch up.

Did you know that? Did you know that's what me and Emma do? Yes, I did. Brilliant. Yes, I do. So who wants to go first? We're going to have a weekly catch up where we've been. Let's talk about going back to school because I talk a lot about that

on the podcast with everybody and how you two feel and how you cope. So we back at school now we've been back a couple of weeks haven't we yeah so how do you want to go first on yeah how is it back at school good good is it yeah you've settled in okay yes did you feel sad no did you miss mummy and daddy yes did you do you miss us every day Did you? Do you miss us every day? No. No. I'm joking, I do. Okay. We've been going through hot dinners, haven't we? Hot dinners?

Yeah. Hot dinners, packed lunches? Mm-hmm. I made you have hot dinners the other day, didn't I? Because you keep coming home and you're not eating your lunch, are you? No. What's your favourite hot dinner, Dots? A jacket potato. So what have you been doing at school?

What have you enjoyed the most being back? You love your new teacher, don't you? Yeah? What have you enjoyed about being back? Play time? Forest walk? Always play time. It's always play time. I'm not sure about the forest walk.

You're not enjoying the forest walks? No, I'm still not sure about the forest walk. Because it's not as fun as you are, Mum. We have to do counting steps. Oh, Globbets, that's boring. And then we have to do the playtime after. It is so boring! Oh, well, that sounds boring.

Do you just want to put your... I hate school! There you go, there's your option. So you are not enjoying the forest walks as much as you did in year one? No. No, they're not as fun. No. It's got a little bit more serious this year though, hasn't it?

In year two it's probably going to be more serious. It's going to get really serious. Have you got desks yet in year one? No. Just tables? Group tables still. Still having lots of fun though, aren't you? We don't have our group tables, but...

No, we do. We've got booklets and then we have them in like drawers and it says tables names and we've all got our own little tables. Wait, so you have like separate tables at school? Like, or have your little... Oh, what? What, you have your own table? No, we like have big tables and like we get like, we get, like, partners around us.

Oh, do you get the same partner every day? No. Oh, how disappointing. What if you really like yesterday's partner and then you're like, Oh, great, get to see you tomorrow. Yeah. Shit, I didn't get you again. No, I do get the same partner because they're on the same table.

Okay, so you do get them again? Yes. Oh, smash him. As long as're on the same table. Okay. So you do get them again? Yes. I'll smash them. As long as they're next to me. Okay. Do you ever... Oh, so people like two people away from you. Do you make them sit next to you?

No. No? Just voluntary? Yes. So you here now. You were fun yesterday. Get right back here. I need you in my life.

And how have you settled in, Colb? have you settled in cobs you settled in good yes how's your new class good how's your new teacher good anything you want to share with us have you got a girlfriend no no boyfriend no no how is your new teacher good how's the setup in the classroom different from year three? The same. Same. How have you found being back? Do you miss mummy and daddy? Yes.

Would you like to stay home every day? Yes, to be honest. Oh, no. I'd love to have you home every day. It's not that exciting at home, is it? I wish a week, mum. I just wish every day was a weekend. I know, that would be...

I think everyone does, doesn't it? I wish every day was Christmas. Oh, yeah, you could just get presents wish every day was Christmas. Oh yeah, you could just get presents every day. Every day. You'd get infinite toys. You'd get bored though

because you'd have it all every day, yeah. Yeah. Especially in Harbour, you'd be in no room with that. You'd have to live in a toy shop.

Oh yeah. Maybe we should own a toy shop. Just go live in Smith's. Yeah. Smith's, nice superstore. I'll just live

in the elevator. Beep. Elevator opening. Hello there. What are you doing in my room today? Shall we talk about... Shall we move on to our next topic? Yes.

Shall we talk about life with Renly? Oh, yeah, baby. Yeah. Colby can go first. What's it been like the last six months with Renly? Oh, yeah, baby. Colby can go first. What's it been like the last six months having Renly? Very, very fun.

Very fun? Yeah. People ask all the time how have you... I love it. He's so adorable. I'm not sure he feels the same. Bless him.

Talk to me about life with Renly the last six months. Can I go first? How has it been? I'll go first. Let Colby go first this time. Can everyone just let me go first instead of Renly? Okay, no one found that funny?

No. I did. Right, Colby, talk to me. What's life been like the last six months with Renly? Fun and... What do you think about having Renly? No, I've found it very funny. Were you a little bit worried about when Renly was in Mummy's tummy?

No. Were you not worried about what it was going to be like having another sibling? It was quite a weird feeling for the first time, to be honest. It was going to be like having another sibling. It was quite a weird feeling for the first time, to be honest. It was. I don't think anybody's ever heard your perspective of when you first met him. No. Because when you first met him,

you come into the hospital, didn't you? No. So we came into your room, you went in there, and then Dad took us down. To the neonatal unit, weren't we? Yeah, and then he was like, yeah, should we go check in there? And then I just saw you next to a tank of rendly, and I was like, oh, my God.

Because I tried to call Mum, didn't I? But Mum's phone was upstairs, and she was downstairs, so we had to go down. I was holding Renly. Mum didn't know we were turning up so soon, did she? Oh, yeah, she was holding Renly. And then I was like, oh, my God. And you were like, whose baby is that? And then I said, it's our baby.

No, I said, whose baby is that? No, and Dottie also said, then why is your belly still if that's our baby then why have you got such a big belly the midwife was like oh that's a bit mean mummy oh crumbs how does it feel for you the last six months having renly i feel like it's different for Colby, though, because Colby had you and grew with you, didn't he? Yeah. And then it's the first time you became big sis.

Yeah. So what did you feel when Mummy had Renly in her tummy? Were you worried? Were you scared? You were happy? Yeah. Was it not strange not knowing what it was going to be like? Did you ever think about what he'd look like?

I thought it would be a girl. You were. I think till the very end you were like, I sneakily think it's going to be a girl, even though we'd seen his willy on every single sonogram picture. And you were like, I still think it's going to be a girl. But it had a willy, so no, it was Renly. It was Renly.

Still had a willy. Mum, one question for you hit me what would have you what would have you called him if he was a girl though oh that's a good question what names do we have daisy i called poppy do we have girls names yeah we did have a girl's name i called poppy it would have been queenie yes yes you're right It would have been Queenie Yeah Do you not like that name? Does he call me Queenie? I think that's lovely Does he go?

What if we have a girl now? What if we have another girl And we call her Queenie? Yeah Oh my god Do you not like Queenie? No Do you remember our other baby name?

What did we have another baby name for? Renly What was the other one we liked? Roger It did begin with an R though didn't it? baby name for Renly. What was the other one we liked? Roger. It did begin with an R though, didn't it? Dad said Roger, didn't he? It did begin with an R. Do you remember it? Rufus.

No. Come on. You must remember. It's the boy at school, wasn't it? Don't you have a friend at school that's got the same name? Rudy. Reuben. Rudy. Rudy. Do you think he looks like a Rudy? Rudy or Freddy Right, should we talk about what we've been doing recently? What have we been doing that's been really, really fun? Oh, I know

Hit me We went to the What's it called in Somerset? Oh, we went to that big house, didn't we? In Somerset You enjoyed that, didn't you? We went with our family We did go with our cousins, didn't we?

Well, we went with everybody Oh, we went to Cheddar Gorge, didn't we, in Somerset? Yeah. You enjoyed that, didn't you? With our family. We did go with our cousins, didn't we? Well, we went with everybody. Oh, we went to Cheddar Gorge, didn't we? We did. I went in the fox's cave and... Was it like Gorge's cave? And we saw like gates in the mountains, didn't we? Almost standing vertical. They were standing vertical.

That was a crazy time for us, wasn't it? Mm-hmm. Crazy goats. And second one... I can't stand vertical. You can't stand vertical? No. That's how we usually stand up. Do we? Yeah, we stand up

vertical. Okay, if I stand up now, if we don't stand up vertical, that's right. Maybe she meant we can't stand horizontal. Oh, you're going to demonstrate? Okay, we're going to demonstrate. That is not vertical. What is that? That's up straight. What's vertical? Right, we're just having a little science lesson here, guys.

What? We stand like penguins. Stand horizontal. Can you stand horizontal? Shall we talk about what we've done the last couple of days? Because we went to do something really exciting, didn't we? Yes. We went to a hotel to watch the new Transformers film.

We got invited, didn't we, to go and watch the new Transformers 1 movie, which was so insanely good, wasn't it? We got invited by Paramount. That's huge, isn't it? Yeah. But not just that. Really huge.

Really huge. Honestly, absolutely huge. Dottie wasn't old enough to see the film so she had to wait, hang out with Dad and Renly. That's not very fun. Me and Dottie had a nice cup of tea downstairs. Dottie had to have a hot chocolate. Had to have a hot chocolate. Not just one, they brought a whole bloody pot of tea pot of hot chocolate for her.

Did they actually? Yeah, well we were watching the film. We also went and did something else, didn't we? Yeah, we went to interview with the Some of the actors from the else, didn't we? Yeah, we went to interview with the... Some of the actors from the film, didn't we? Do you remember their names? Scarlett Johansson.

Yes. And... Keegan-Michael Key. Keegan-Michael Key. We fully met them. Keegan-Michael Key was B. He is B. The bumblebee.

And Scarlett Johansson was Alita. Alita. Alita. Yeah. They were absolutely phenomenal, weren't they? Yeah. How sweet were they? Oh, my gosh. It feels like we're not really living this life, doesn't it?

No. Mum was nervous as hell, wasn't I? And he pooped my pants. My lip got stuck to my retainers. I was trying to lick my teeth. I was also trying not to shake because I didn't want to stress Colby out. He was like an absolute dream, though. Took it completely in his stride.

Good man. But that was fun, wasn't it? What an absolute experience. Job done. Job done. Oh, yeah, baby. We did miss... Oh, yeah, baby.

We did miss London Fashion Week, though, didn't we? No! Oh, my knee. Apparently, it was London Fashion Week though, didn't we? No! Oh my knee. Apparently it was London Fashion Week last week. No! Right now it's time for a little break. Now Emma and I normally do a little sing song to High School Musical,

but I'm going to test your knowledge and test whether you two listen to the podcast. Well, you don't have to listen, obviously, but mummy does it all the time. So we're ready. We're all going to sing along. Dad, get involved. Right, you don't have to listen, obviously, but mummy does it all the time. So we're ready. We're all going to sing along. Dad, get involved. Right, and I'm going to start with...

Are you ready? Do we even know this? Yeah. Three, two, one. We're all in this together and we know that we are. We're all stars and we're... I don't know.

Yes! Yes! ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Céline Dion. My dream? To be an international star. Could it happen again? Could Celine Dion happen again? I'm Thomas Leblanc, and Celine Understood is a four-part series from CBC Podcasts and CBC News, where I piece together the surprising circumstances that helped manufacture Celine Dion, the pop icon.

surprising circumstances that helped manufacture Celine Dion, the pop icon. Celine Understood. Available wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. This is The Secret Mum Club, the safe space for us to share our secrets. And because we have a special guest in the house, Colby and Dottie and Chrissy and Renly, the whole family is here. I thought we could get in a couple more secrets.

So Colby and Dottie, do you have any secrets that you want to share this week? I have one. Are you ready? I don't. Can I go first? You don't have a secret? Can I go first? Yeah.

Can I go? Hit us with your secret. Right, so earlier... Oh gosh. Whilst Dottie was watching you do the podcast, I snuck into a book and started drawing. He's written in your diary. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.

She's under investigation. I drew, I drew, I drew. Isn't there a padlock on that as well? No, I got the key and screwed everything, took it off. She bought a secret diary and he has snuck into the secret diary and drawn a picture.

You're in trouble now, mate. Oh, you can see it. Oh no. Oh no. You're going to get killed! me oh you can see it oh no oh no help please oh my goodness oh well there you go there's colby's secret right now colby shared his secret have you got a secret this week do you want me to share one on your behalf no you don't want me to share a secret. Have you got a secret this week? Do you want me to share one on your behalf? No. You don't want me to share a secret on your behalf? I want to share one.

Okay, hit us with a secret. One time, Colby had this really cool bracelet. I hid it under my bed and then he didn't know where it is. Wait, what one is it? Is it my group one? Yeah, it was a group one. Well, you've taken his group bracelet that he got for his birthday. No, it was the one with Captain America on it.

You've taken his Captain America bracelet? Yes. So where is that now? Under my bed still. Probably snapped in half. Why would it be snapped in half? Maybe it's because of the tarantula under there. She's that good that Colby doesn't even know that I was even happy.

He doesn't even know about the bracelet. That's how good she is. No, I've never had a Captain America bracelet in my life. Yes, you have, Colby. Never have I. In my life, I've never had a Captain America bracelet. Was it Captain America or was it the emotion? Was it anger?

Is it the ones from the other day? Is red anger one? Yeah. Are you making this story up by any chance? That one's fun. I think Mumsh has had the fartiest secret for the week. I'm not sure if I'm making it up

because I feel like I've done it. Okay. You feel like, so I'm going to check. Did you dream it? No. Okay.

That makes no sense. Right, I'm going to share a secret this week. About you? The one at the service station. Oh, yeah. That's a good one, isn't it? Oh, no.

Do the one in Paris. Do the one when we were in Disneyland Paris. What happened? You share that secret. No, so in Disneyland Paris, whilst they went into the toilet, Dottie took a photo of Mum on the toilet with Mum's mobile out.

To this day, we actually still have... We still have the pictures on my phone. I was heavily pregnant with Renly while we were in paris and dotty decided to take it upon herself to take pictures of me on the toilet while i was wiping my food she loves to take pictures of herself the picture is just of me sat on the toilet dotsy found it was great also thought it was really great to run outside and show Dad that she's taken pictures of me

and was like, look, I've taken a picture of Mum while she sat on the toilet. As soon as she gets your phone and takes 700 photos, she's like... Chris is pulling...

Yeah. No, I can see your nose. Yeah. We have driven up to London this week and we decided we were going to drive up and not take the train

and we had to stop at a services a and not take the train and we had to stop at a services a couple of times on the way up just to make sure that everyone was stretching their legs and everyone was fed and so forth we stopped at the first one had Renly in my arms and Chris took the other two into the toilet because I was holding Renly and I find it it's hard for me to try and hold him while I'm having a wee so So I said to Chris, Chris goes, oh, I'll take the babies into the toilet with me. That's absolutely fine because I need to go. So there, ages had passed. And I was like, what the hell is going on in there?

All these men kept coming out, absolutely barrels of laughter. This one guy come out and he was just like, oh, is that your daughter in the toilet with her dad? You did, picking that bogey there. Wait, carry on with the story. Oh, sorrygey there don't carry on the story okay sorry well you just carry on picking your nose so yeah there's some all these guys kept coming out laughing and then this one guy come out and was like is that your daughter in there with her daddy and i said yeah he said she just had the men's toilets absolutely everyone everyone in the toilet 12 cubicles all laughing 12 cubicles of men

just laughing their heads off because Dottie was sat in the cubicle with Chris and what did you say Dottie? Why do the men's toilets stink so much? Why do all the men smell so much? Everyone just started laughing No I was Maybe you take her into the men's toilets

but she was like why are the men's toilets always so smelly They did smell. And all these men, they just kept coming out and coming past me. Every cubicle, they always started laughing together. Why are they all laughing, all of these men? And Dotsie just had a service station of men in the cubicles. Men's toilets just laughing.

I bet the girls smell just as bad, though. No, girls smell of roses. The girls smell lovely. Be quiet, Dad. Yeah, sorry. It's because you stink as well. Oh, poor Daddy. Renly, no offence, you're cute.

Isn't Renly fine? Is that great? I don't know. Renly does have stinky poo-poos, don't you, sometimes? It's okay you have stinky poo-poos, Ed. We don't mind your stinky poo-poos. They smell a lot.

They do smell pretty bad. We do the poo chase around the house where we run around with Renly's pooey butt. Oh, once earlier, she chugged poo. She chugged poo at me, yeah. This morning in the hotel, right? We were playing this fun game where we chucked the pooey nappy in the bag

and we're like, poo poo nappy in your face. Well, Colby took it absolutely beyond. I was throwing an underarm with the shitty nappy. Colby at 20 to 6 this morning took absolute carnage on me with the shitty nappy and absolute overarmed the nappy.

He's going to wet himself. So hard in my face. It actually took my breath away. It slapped me. I must have still been asleep. It was like, has it hit me? So much so that he full on nearly wet himself to which actually I was like, it hit me. So much so that he full on nearly wet himself,

to which actually I was like, oh God, because it winded my chest. Probably found it hilarious. And then he was like, shit, I'm so sorry, mum, because it hit me so hard. Just this big shitty nappy slapped me. Big pooey nappy slapped me across the face. So there you go.

It's all filled with secrets this week. Chris, have you got any secrets you need to share? No. I think you've made it all up for us, yeah? You've covered it all up, I don't think. No, you've covered it, sorry. Well, I hope you've enjoyed this family special. And truly, if you've made it...

Yes, well done to you. Well, yes, very well done to you. You need a stiff drink. Hopefully you've listened to this on the week, day, weekend. You need beer. Anytime you can have a beer. If you'd like to get in touch with us, you can email hello at secretmumpod.com

or we're secretmumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll see you next time on the... Secret Mump Club! Secret Bunker we're going to just take it out with a few songs I came in like a wrecking ball there's Miley Cyrus absolutely you did actually to be fair yeah

you have come in this episode like an absolute if you've managed if you've managed to survive this episode, Dotsie just face planted the microphone. If you've managed to survive this episode, you truly are the world's best podcasts.

Here's a show that we recommend. Céline Dion. My dream? To be an international star. Could it happen again? Could Céline Dion happen again? I'm Thomas Leblanc, and Céline Understood is a four-part series from CBC Podcasts and CBC News, where I piece together the surprising circumstances that helped manufacture Celine Dion, the pop icon. Celine Understood. Available wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.