Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The First Poo

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

Tim is back with an update on their IVF journey, and our OG adoption writer, Jake, has also been in touch! On top of all that wholesomeness, this week’s secret is… surprisingly educational. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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an accessible playground, a 55-acre sports park, pathways, and a library with enriching programs. Learn more at crossingslethbridge.ca. Hello, it's Chrissy Teigen inviting you to check out my new wellbeing podcast from Audible, Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen. Each week we'll be exploring the cutting edge of personal growth with a leading expert,

digging into powerful concepts and sharing practical tools for everyday life. Hear from a wide range of guests including authors of bestselling books and groundbreaking audible originals like Mel Robbins, Adam Grant, Nedra Tawab and Gabby Bernstein, just to name a few. Listen to Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen now on Audible or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma.

And welcome to your Thursdays episode. Where we get to squeezing all the extra bits and bobs from the week. Squeeze, squeeze your bits. We were just talking about my bits and tears, weren't we? To keep you going through the weekend. That's not your line. That's not my line. All of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories. To keep you going through the weekend. That's not your line. That's not my line. All of your comments, thoughts, questions

and fun stories to keep you going through the weekend. I'm exhausted. Shall we jump in? Shall we? I'm so tired. Right, you ready? Yeah. It's time for another correspondence corner. I'm going to sit back, chillax, you take the stage. You close your eyes, hon. I was gonna drink my drink. Have a bit of shine. There's nothing in here.

Drink. I'm shattered. Drink your empty drink. All right, this one is from Stacey from Somerset. Stacey is my, she's got it going on. She's all I want and I've waited for so long. Stacey can't you see? You're just not the girl for me.

Well, you are the girl for us, Stacey. Yes, sorry. Stay tuned. Hello, Safina and Emma. Firstly, thank you for blessing us with your podcast every Tuesday and Thursday. And we just serenaded you. Blessing me with your vocal talents.

It's gotten me through some tough mummy days. I still get very disappointed on a Monday when there's no new episode. Oh, hold on. It's coming out seven days a week. No, I'm kidding. Imagine us seven days a week. I still sometimes get confused when there's no disappointed on a Monday when there's no new episode. Mum brain. Hold on, it's coming out seven days a week. No, I'm kidding. Imagine us seven days a week.

I still sometimes get confused when there's no episode on a Monday. It's so stressful. I don't even know what day of the week it is. Well, I know it's Tuesday because we get to say, see you next Tuesday. She says, I'm looking for some advice and support for my little sister.

She's just given birth via C-section to her beautiful baby boy at 27 weeks, weighing a tiny two pounds, two ounces. Oh, blood. Safina, as she starts her preemie and incubator journey, I was hoping you could share some advice to help her through it. And Emma, any tips on C-section recovery

would also be much appreciated. I love listening to you both and truly value all the support and advice you've given me. Listen, I will cry. She's already gone, Stace. You can't be nice to me today. I'm shattered, I'm shattered. How lovely she's asked us both for some advice.

Obviously we are not the people to give advice. Well, I suppose we have both been through those things. You've had your premature journey. What was Wendy born at? 36 weeks. He was 34. 34 weeks. 34, five, yes.

Well, nearly 35 weeks. Yeah. It is a tough one. I think it's really hard for me to talk on it because Renly was so big and I think the I know he was premature and there's a lot to consider with being a premature baby is that they are tracked back. So until they turn one, they're constantly tracked back. They do that adjusted age. Yeah. Yeah. and it's so hard. Like when they come out and then they are,

say three weeks old, it's always like, oh, well, we're tracked back, they're actually a week old or a couple of, you know, and that process is really hard to get your head around. And I don't think even now I really understand it. And I don't know whether that's because I, it's my third baby. So,

you know, like the red book and everything like that. I don't think I did all of that because I just didn't, I couldn't do the maths in my brain, just couldn't do the track back and the weighing and stuff. And that's because they might not be like growing or developing at the same rate as a full term baby. I did a visual on Renly and I was like, look, he's gaining weight. Yeah. He's doing great. And and I was like, look, he's gaining weight. He's doing great. But I think it's hard for me to comment because he was so big to go from a tiny baby.

I can't for a second imagine how hard that process is. It's a process to go through. But then being premature, I think you're a little bit extra cautious about this and it is okay for her to feel that way. I feel like everything she'll be feeling is so completely normal. I feel like she'll be way more scared.

As a first time mom, you are generally scared anyway, aren't you? Even, well, I say a first time mom, I don't think it matters how many babies you have. It's a really, really daunting time. And I think it's just to keep reassuring her, just to be there, support her with regards to what she can do.

She just has to trust in her ability. And even saying that, to trust in her ability, when you're in that, you still don't, it doesn't matter how many people tell you or how many people say, oh, it's gonna click, you will get it. It may not feel like it clicks, but one day you'll look back and it will make sense.

Do you know what I mean? Because you know, some moms say that they don't have that initial. That feeling straight away. Yeah, that feeling straight away. You know, when people say, oh, once you give birth, you're just gonna know what to do. Yeah, I know.

You have got no fucking clue, no clue what the bloody hell you're doing, do you? And even know what to do. Yeah, I know. You haven't got no fucking clue. No clue what the bloody hell you're doing, do you? And even now I don't. It's weird. I'm eight years too fast, I've got no clue what the fucking hell I'm doing. So I think it's just a lot of reassurance. A lot of reassurance as family around her,

just be there to support her. But there's not much else we can do. We just have to leave it in the hands of, I'm assuming he's still in the hospital. Yeah, I think, I don't know how recent this was, but maybe he's still in the NICU. Maybe he's still in the NICU, but it's just to be there just to support her

because it does get better. This process is just really, really hard. But from being somebody that's been in that position, what I needed from people was just to treat me really normal. And I think I don't, me personally, I don't think I liked questions on his, like, you know, I had a really, really horrible comment when I first loaded a picture of Renly on social media and it absolutely destroyed me. It was the most vilest comment that could have ever been made. And I think everybody just treated him like a

normal baby. And no comment on like his, his wires or his bruising. It was kind of like, Oh, how's his, how's his readings today? Are they good? Are they bad? That's kind of what I needed rather than, Oh God, look at his face. That's the, yeah. What's wrong with him? Yeah. That's the bit I struggled with the most. But I think being that you've asked the question means that you're thoughtful. Like you are caring. And I think that's all you can do

is you seem like you have the best interest of your sister and the baby at heart. So I think what you're doing is perfect. Yeah, you're probably being there enough. Yes. C-section in terms of just like practical stuff, it's like you just need people to do a bit more for you because you can't really like get around as easily.

And I can only imagine, I had C-sections with full term babies, but having a C-section with a premature baby must be extra hard. That's what I was going to say. I wonder if we have any listeners that have- That have had that. Yeah, to having a nicky baby, but also recovering from a cesarean. Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. I wonder if we have any listeners that have- That have had that. Yeah, to having a nicky baby,

but also recovering from a cesarean. Yeah, yeah. Cause that would be good to hear somebody's story. It would be good to know. Cause I can't imagine still being in hospital and recovering. I guess with that, like you do have all the support around you, which I found really helpful at first.

Like I was only in hospital for a couple of days, but when you're there, it's nice to know someone's come around and given you your meds every four hours. You buzz your buzzer. No one's gonna forget to give you painkillers. And that's quite daunting when you're suddenly let out into the world.

You're like, I can't remember to do all that myself now. But yeah. Because obviously I had the luxury of just being able to walk downstairs of any time of day, but you obviously can't, well, you can do that. Can you? I could walk downstairs, but I think just like trying to not, don't do too much too soon is like,

I remember when I first had Joseph, I was like, the house was getting really dirty and I tried to like sweep the floors and Stefan was like, what are you doing? You've just had a caesarean. And sometimes after you're a bit like, yeah, I pushed it a bit too much. That's getting a little bit sore.

But actually my recovery from caesarean like wasn't, after all the horror stories that I heard, it like wasn't as bad as I thought. But there are just things you can do to make it a little bit easier. Like get, I got like a booster seat because getting on and off a low sofa is really hard to like use your abdominal muscles and stuff.

Having someone to help like get you out of bed if you can. Because sometimes that's a two person job. Like you have no ab strength really. So like having someone to help you like sit up and even just do simple things like that. And don't forget your laculose, you're not straining to go to the toilet because that's not fun.

That isn't fun. I mean, that's not even fun when you're pregnant and you need to poo. You gotta keep things moving. Do you know, funny you should say that though. I don't think again, there's not enough talk on, I know obviously I'm somebody that believes that it doesn't think again, there's not enough talk on I know, obviously, I'm somebody that believes that it doesn't matter how the baby arrives into the world, as long

as they're here safe and sound, you don't get an award if you give birth. And you don't have any drugs, there's no trophy or any award. However, your baby gets into the world and you are both safe is I truly believe in. But I feel like we talk about cesarean aftercare, but there's never the talk of how painful it is. Like you're saying about your scar hurting when you go home and you've given birth, the ache in your foo foo is wild. Oh, I can't imagine. The throbbing is a whole process. And that first time you go to the toilet.

Yeah. I know people say that. It's like you're recovering from major surgery. Yeah but other women are recovering from pushing a baby out of their vagina. Let's not forget that. The first poo is terrifying. I don't know and do you know what even when I had Dottie I just lied and said I'd pooed. Don't do that. That's really bad. Like if you want you to poo before you leave the hospital. If you leave the hospital. Before you've left the hospital, don't fibby and say that you've pooed because you could be in a whole world of trouble. Make sure you do take your first poo in the hospital. Take your laxatives. Yeah. Yeah. But the first poo after Renly, whoa, that shit was wild. Literally. Wow. I think it's because I had severe diarrhea before. A couple of hours before I was shitting out all my organs.

And then what? You went constipated. And I was like, that's it. I I had severe diarrhea before, a couple of hours before, shitting out all my organs. And then what? You went constipated. And I was like, that's it. I'm just going to shit, shit out everything before I've given birth because I took too much Lackulose. I took all that Lackulose. You know that sketch, I don't know if anybody watches Lee Evans when he takes all them sleeping tablets and then they delay his flight.

Have you seen the sketch? Very funny. I'm going to have to show you the clip. Hilarious. But he's like, I've got to take all these sleeping tablets, gotta stay awake, because the plane's been delayed. That was me, I took all of that Lackulose, and then the midwife come in the ward and went,

we're having a baby today. You're like, no. Sorry, I just wanted to birth my poo. I don't think I'm ready to birth a human. And then that was it, I was fucked. And then when he was born, did you go constipated? Severe diarrhea. No, still had the diarrhea, Oh, it's still coming out.

It's still coming out. Bring a fire front and back. I was in a whole world, when I tell you, it was a whole world of trouble. At least you weren't backed up. Looking back now, I laugh, but I cried. I cried for the first couple of hours. I remember being on the toilet for so long.

I didn't wear a pad for the blood, I wore it for the shit that was falling out of my ass. Oh, sorry, I had Joseph. There's another top tip for you, massive granny pants, if you've had a caesarian. You want something that goes right over your tummy. And you know what, don't be ashamed of the number on the tag, because I got some pants and I thought,

do you know what, I'm only gonna be a size 10, don't do that to yourself. Go two sizes up. Criminal, ate my bum cheeks, they did. Oh, they were awful, I said to Chris, can you go get me a bigger size, because these are too small. Just get those big bum-hungry pants.

Honestly, I still wear mine. They're so comfy. And Stefan's like, you know, you don't need those anymore. And I'm like, shut up. Do you know what as well, something that is lovely. I don't know if your sister's still in hospital.

Like we just said, I don't know if she's still in hospital, but just things as well. Everybody, when I was in the hospital and Renly was on the NICU, even like till I come out of the hospital, something that I do think is great when you've had the baby is to think about mama.

Like my sister would come up one day, she'd come up with a lip balm. The next day she'd come up with a sandwich. She'd come up with a bunch of flowers. She'd bring me like fresh socks, like brand new fresh socks, fresh pants, or even like a fresh new pair of pajamas. And I just think those little things,

I think so much is when the baby's come and it's so much is centered around the baby that I think sometimes that we do forget about mamas. Especially when you're in hospital, it's nice to have those little luxuries. And silly things like my sister would wrap up a pair of pajamas or she'd wrap up, and I'd open a little present.

Like it was just like it because I was obviously on the ward on my own. Yeah. To sit there and open a little present and I'd cry for a pair of socks. Oh, God. That's so lovely. You thought of me. Yes. And made it exciting by wrapping it up. Yeah. Yeah. Even just bringing someone a cup of tea. I'll be thrilled. Cup of tea. Yeah. Cup of tea and a biscuit. Just anything. Just even that little morning text. Yeah. Even just sometimes I think we ask so much about the baby that we actually forget mum. And then when you're just like, oh yeah.

And when you get a text in the morning, how did he sleep? Have you been down to see him? Yeah. Has he had his blood test done today? And sometimes you're a bit like, no one's actually asked about me today. Yeah.

And I'm actually not having a very good day today. Yeah. So sometimes I think we need to think about that. I don't know if that's any help. That's a good point. No, I like that. I feel like you're on the right path already. Because you've asked,

I feel like your heart's in the right place. You're obviously, yeah, considerate. Yes. So thank you, Stacey. Thank you, Stacey. We appreciate you and all our love to your sister and your nephew. Nephew, little boy, nephew.

Oh. All right, there's another one here. It says, little boy nephew. Oh, all right. There's another one here who says, hello again, ladies. Hello again. It's Tim here. I messaged recently to share that our IVF baby girl was due in mid-March. Remember IVF Tim? Stop it, yes, IVF Tim.

Well, just a week after hearing our shout out, our lives changed forever. What? Hang on. Hold on. It's early, it's not mid-March yet. Following some high blood pressure readings and close monitoring, the hospital decided to book us in What? Hang on. Hold on. It's early, it's not mid-March yet. Following some high blood pressure readings and close monitoring, the hospital decided

to book us in for an emergency C-section on the 6th of February. And just like that, our little miracle, Sophia Ella, arrived exactly five weeks early, weighing a healthy five pound ten. Wow! Whoa, if she'd gone full term, she would have been a whopper. That's similar to you about five weeks earlier, isn't it? Yeah. To say we've fallen completely in love with her is an understatement.

Latest picture attached. Oh my God! Have a look! Oh my gosh! Oh, look! Oh my gosh, she is, oh my God! She looks so perfect. She is utterly perfection.

Oh, look at her little. She is utterly perfection. Oh, look at her little ears and her little button nose. She is divine, isn't she? Very close to my name as well, Tim. Yes. Sophia Ella sounds a lot like Sophina Emma. I see what you've done there. I see what you've done.

And we are honored. Not forgetting our girl on Flay Rider. Big Apple, the Sophia Sophina. I mean, I don't want to say and we are honoured. Not forgetting our girl on Flow Rider. Big up all the Sophia's, Sophina. I mean, I don't want to say it's me, but. No, I'm kidding. She's perfect. She is beautiful. Oh, and a massive congratulations to you all.

And I hope mummy's doing well. He said, Tim says she's doing incredibly well, as is mum. And we're soaking up every moment of cuddles with our bundle of joy. I'm guessing Sophia arrived before Emma's long awaited sofa. Tim. Yes, Tim, she did. Sophia knew. She knew the drill. She was not going to end up like her.

Listen, Sophology. I'm waiting on you. Sophia didn't let us down, but you have. Thanks, Sophology. Oh, look at her. Oh, I just can't. Oh, and I'm so glad they're both doing so well. Mama did good.

Five pound 10 as well. Five so well. Mama did good. Five pounds 10 as well. Five pound 10, mama did her work. Decent. Oh, congratulations to you all. Congratulations to daddy. Yeah, huge congratulations. And welcome to the world, Sophia.

And thank you for the update, we love an update. We love, I do love, I'm not gonna lie. We love an update, we love a picture, don't we? We do, we do. Oh, Tim. All right, this one says, hello ladies. Hello. First of all, thank you both for your advice and ideas

and a big thank you to the listeners who shared their stories too. Oh. My partner and I changed my daughter's surname by deed poll to match mine before she was old enough to be aware of the change. We're also currently awaiting a potential ADHD diagnosis, which has been a long and difficult process.

With the way her brilliant mind works, constantly thinking and overthinking, we've decided to wait many more years before having to break the news to her. All the best, Jake. Hold on a minute. This is Jake. This is Jake from the adoption special. About him. Oh, Jake.

Right. Let's go back. Hold on because I lost my, I was somewhere else then. All right. so they've changed his daughter's surname by deed poll to match his, but they're gonna wait till she's older before they tell her. Yeah. This is absolutely beautiful.

Because she's awaiting a potential ADHD diagnosis. So now she's got their matching name. They're like, now's not the time, but they've got the same surname. Oh, Jake, I don't think you could have done it any more perfect. That is beautiful, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, Jake, I don't think you could have done it anymore perfect. That is beautiful, isn't it? Yeah.

Oh, congratulations. Again, I love getting back in touch. Again, we don't doubt you for a second. We fully think you're her daddy. Oh yeah. We fully believe you're her daddy. We know you are, yeah. Take that back.

We fully believe that you're her daddy. Yeah. And nothing changes that. No paper, no nothing. You are, you are that girl's dad and a phenomenal one at that. Yeah. So phenomenal. What a wonderful day for Correspondence Corner. What a bunch of messages. I know. I thought you were going to say what a bunch of wankers. I was going to say, fuck me, that's a bit rude. What a bunch of lovelyness. Lovely messages. Lovely messages today. What a way to kick off the day.

What a divine Thursday. Tuesday. What day of the week? Is it Thursday? I was right first time. So thank you all for sending in your messages and getting back in touch. If you have any comments, thoughts or fun stories,

why not get in touch? You can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. Next, it's time for one of your secrets. Hey, what's on your laptop? Are you investing? I'm trading on BMO InvestorLine Self-Directed. Oh, I've heard of that. It's easy to use. They have research and watch lists right here.

Okay. Then there's these analysis tools I use to benchmark, customize, and track my investing performance. And I save fees on over 90 commission-free ETFs. It all helps me trade with confidence. Nice. Learn more at bmo.com slash investor line. Terms and conditions apply.

BMO Investor Line is a wholly owned subsidiary of Bank of Montreal, member of Canadian Investor Protection Fund, and member of the Canadian Investment Regulatory Organization. Hello, it's Chrissy Teigen inviting you to check out my new wellbeing podcast from Audible, Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen. Each week we'll be exploring the cutting edge of personal growth with a leading expert, digging into powerful concepts and sharing practical tools for everyday life.

Hear from a wide range of guests, including authors of bestselling books and groundbreaking Audible originals like Mel Robbins, Adam Grant, Nedra Tawab and Gabby Bernstein, just to name a few. Listen to Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen now on Audible or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Evie. Some days I wake up feeling a little bit worried. Do you. Some days I just feel really wriggly. If you feel the same then why not join me in my podcast as I ask how are you? We find ways to figure out just how we're feeling. Also we're ready to face whatever the day throws at us. Join me in escaping the chaos and taking a moment for calm. So, how are you? Come and join in wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome back. We love a secret on the Secret Mom Club. You are all so good at sharing. Sorry, I was distracted. Sorry, it was a slight delay then. I was reading ahead on the secret. Don't read ahead. I know Sorry I was distracted then. Sorry, slight delay then. I was reading ahead on the secret. Don't read ahead! I know, I was getting excited, sorry.

So many people ask me if I read them beforehand. We genuinely both don't. We generally don't read them. And when Emma reads them out, I put my tablet down because I like the... You want the element of surprise. The element of surprise, but I also like to give my honest, you know, reaction. Yes, yes. Genuine. Yeah, genuine, genuine.

That's to take it away, Emma, secret of the week. Okay, this comes from Jessica. You've already peaked. I saw something funny and I got distracted. You naughty, naughty girl. I still don't know the story, okay. Cheeky girl. Jessica says, hi, hi ladies.

I wanted to share a funny little story of my own. Every year I make my son a birthday cake and he gets to pick the theme. For his second birthday he wanted a solar system cake so I made edible planets using a chocolate mould and edible paint. I'm sorry what? What do you know? He's not asking much is he? Sorry we've just levelled up mumhood here. Listen I can't compete with this. No me neither. You can make mine. When we sat down to eat it he was so excited to be eating his favourite planet, Jupiter,

sharing in his excitement. I asked everyone at the table how their planet tasted, all completely innocent, until I turned to my husband and asked, how does Uranus taste, Daddy? My son still has no idea why we all burst out laughing and to this day proudly tells people People started trying to say Uranus and I was like Bring in Uranus get Uranus on I feel like such a child but these things These are the small wins of life. Yeah, what we need in life to just keep us going. It's when the children say something. When they mispronounce something so funny.

It's like Joseph in vagina. I'm never going to correct him. I love it when the children are like, do you think we could go to your anus one day? I mean, we're there every day. I'm here all week. We're there every day. Two of you came out. Two of you came out. Two of you came out of my anus.

Kind of. Oh my gosh. That is so iconic, isn't it? Oh, and he has it. One day you're going to have to tell him this. We need a reaction one day. We're still here in 50 years. It's just the way she says, how does your anus taste?

Daddy. Daddy. I've started calling. I never thought I'd be that person, but I've started calling Stefan daddy now because so that Joseph understands. Emma cringes because Chris is in my phone as daddy. It's because the children recognise the letters and we've taught them that if there's an emergency they know to ring D-A-D-D-Y. Yeah, I know, but it's just like-

Because dad is my dad. Whenever you say it. I'm not going to call me dad daddy. Hello daddy. It's just whenever I say it, it sounds so wrong. So sexual. It's too sexual. You're making it sexual. It's just whenever I say it, it sounds so wrong. So sexual. It's too sexual. You're making it sexual.

It's just the- What in the kitchen? Do you want some of this daddy? I could put it on your anus. You could put it on your anus daddy. I don't want to say I think about Emma in the kitchen every night, but you know. You're obsessed.

Girls go get her frills. Honestly, it'd be bloody miracle to be having sex in the kitchen. I never see my husband. I was going to say, we're two years going strong. So when people say, let him go, listen, I've not had sex with him for two years and he's still here. The front door's open. But it's not. Mine's locked. Mine's locked. I've removed the key.

Yeah, sorry. Don't try. Don't try and get into Safina's house. Say that back. I meant my front door. You meant your vagina. My vagina front door. We're not going in the back door. That's bloody, that's sealed up. Close the gate. No one does that, do they?

Who does that anymore? Who does their anus? Oh God. Well, thank you, Jessica. We appreciate you. And if you like Uranus, then eat it. Eat Uranus. Has someone you know eaten Uranus? Then please, please let us know. Please do. Email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And we've got a special week coming up as we celebrate a whole year since our little Renna's was born. And we'll be looking back at my Nikku journey with a special episode from Southampton on Tuesday. And a Nikku correspondence special on Thursday.

And we'll see you next time on Uranus. In Uranus. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club. Hello, it's Chrissie Teigen inviting you to check out my new well-being podcast from Audible, Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen. Each week we'll be exploring the cutting edge of personal growth with a leading expert, digging into powerful concepts and sharing practical tools for everyday life. Hear from a wide range of guests including authors of bestselling books and groundbreaking Audible originals like Mel Robbins, Adam Grant, Nedra Tawab and Gabby Bernstein, just to name a

few. Listen to Self-Conscious with Chrissy Teigen now on Audible or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Evie. Some days I wake up feeling a little bit worried. Do you? Some days I just feel really wriggly. If you feel the same then why not join me in my podcast as I ask how are you? We find ways to figure out just how we're feeling. Also we're ready to face whatever the day throws at us. Join me in escaping the chaos and taking a moment for calm. So, how are you?

Come and join in wherever you get your podcasts.