Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Fishy Fiasco

Episode Date: January 22, 2026

Soph’s prayers are answered when a listener from across the pond gets in touch about their little one picking up Britishisms after binge-watching Peppa Pig. There are two new (and very memorable) additions to the Secret Mum Club gallery, and one listener shares a childhood secret involving a zoo queue, an unfortunate smell, and a brutally honest 11-year-old. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursday's episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. You nearly forgot about me squeezing your bits. I nearly forgot to say the line because I was so excited. I was anticipating you saying squeezing your bits. Oh, wait.

That's what I was thinking about? You didn't want to un-squeeze my bits for me taken away. We're just saying about me taking a wee and there's a mirror in the toilet. Watching yourself on the toilet. It's too much. All of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories. Just keep you going through the weekend. Shall we jump bonies?

It's time for another Correspondence Corner So Emma Let's have this first one, shall we? Okay, this one is from Emma Oh, hello Emma Another one Another one

Another one We get a lot, don't we? Yeah, we're common All right, it says hello Sophia and Emma Oh, the fucking minute Can't say that Soz Emma, but we are trendy as fuck, I'd say Yeah, on vogue

In fashion 30 years ago I just wanted to share how it. No hates of anyone who currently goes. God, I'm not to say. She's going to come out with it, guys. Emma's a great name, okay? I'm just saying there's a lot of them. They're everywhere.

All right, I just wanted to share how inspiring a podcast was for me, postpartum with my first little boy this past year. But it's not anymore. But now I hate you if I get off my name. He's now 16 months old, born on the 20th of September, 24, our little hunter. Stunning name. Do you know what? The fun story, sorry, I just need to get this out.

Because there was one time we were in Florida, right? And it's very, very vivid in my mind because my dad didn't come away. It was the first holiday with James. And there was a little boy and his friend in the queue in Orlando, Florida. I'm in the queue. And this little boy went, Hunter, you step on my foot one more time. I'm going to step on yours. And the other little boy was like, yeah, Dylan.

And it just gets me every time. Do you have to find me quite that all the time now? All the time. Hunter, you step on his foot. One more time, I'm going to step on yours. And his mom went, and the little boy went, yeah, Dylan. It's honestly vivid memory So every time I hear the name Hunter

What about that little Hunter is now? Oh, it's probably about 25 now All right, so Emma says Your stories in the way you support women Even when you don't necessarily agree with their choices It's meant so much to me It really helped me through that stage Where it feels like every decision you make as a mum

Will be criticised Listening to you made me feel like I really could make whatever choices felt right for me And my family Thank you so much Love Emma in Wodonga Victoria, Australia Wow!

Wodonga? Wodonga? Wodonga? Wodonga? Wodonga? Wadonga? Why is it that every time somebody says where they're from, we have to go into their accent? Is it a British...

I need to know. Is it a British thing? Or is it nationwide? I think everyone does that. Nationwide? Is it worldwide? International. Yeah, Mr. Worldwide.

When I watch social media videos and I watch so many American creators, any creators all across the world, I love watching them. But when they step into a British accent, it really makes me so warm inside. I think... Yeah. I love hearing them. But I worry that sometimes when I put on an accent, like I try to do an Aussie or a Welsh or a Bristolian or American,

like I worry that people take offence to it. Because we think it sounds good, but it probably sounds really bad. Yeah, I really love it. I really love it. Are you ready for a photo? Stop it. Scroll on down. Emma says, here's a picture of Hunter while we were out camping during Christmas.

Oh my God, I just can't deal with him. Look at his little poor patrol onesie romper. Oh, wetsuit. Oh my gosh. Look at his legs. Oh, he's so delicious Emma That's such a perfect Oh, look, this little wrist

Look his little chunky Oh my gosh, he's delicious Look at his little toes I miss it when they lose the chub from their joints I know when they go all slim And they just look like a normal like person Oh thanks to Emma Thank you Emma

Thank you Emma and that's really really kind That was lovely, yeah Thank you oh my God he's got a hunter on his hat I know Oh and it's a corduroy bloody hat Oh gosh It just fascinates me as well That there's people so wonderful out there

That also that people do actually listen Still blows my mind We've got a few You especially in Wodonga Yeah exactly Oh thank you Emma so much All right Ready for the next one

Yes It says hello beautiful ladies Hello Listening to Sophie the other day Talking about Dotty and her American accent From watching Netflix Reminded me of when my very American little boy Was obsessed with Pepper Pig

His grandparents had gone on vacation and he turned to me and asked, did Popper Nanny go on holiday? I laughed and asked if he meant vacation and he replied, yes, they're on holiday, right? Safe to say, I was a little bit gutted when his interest moved away from Pepper

and he lost his little English accent. Love you both and thank you for keeping me laughing during my work commute. Deanna from New Jersey. That's so funny. So Pepper is teaching... Because we said this, didn't we? I was worried that because they were watching Miss Rachel,

they're going to have an American accent. Or just use American words. Like vacation. But sometimes when they're speaking and they're saying words and there's like a sentence or something, the whole sentence comes out with an accent, which is wild, isn't it? Because I've always wanted to know, is it just us?

Or do people, like, in America, are watching Pepper Pig that's British. Are the children coming out? And there we go. My prayers have been answered. Wow. That is adorable. So there are like American preschoolers that sound like Pepper. Pepper Pink.

Gosh, that's not really a great one to take it from, is it? She can be really naughty, Pepper. She's quite precocious. I don't know what precocious is. Anoying. I feel like precocious has come from somewhere else. Isn't it Mary Poppins? Supercalifragilistic, expella docious.

Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious. If you say it loud enough, you'll always sound precocious. I knew it was there somewhere. That's very, very posh, isn't it? That was a deep part. Poppins is posh. American, anywhere outside of the UK should play Mary Poppins. Yeah, but then they'll end up sounding like Dick Benzor.

Apollarilings. Stopping in time. Step in time. I don't sound like Dick Van Dyke like a little chimney suit. Oh gosh. Mary potting.

Very. All right, mate. Oh, it's a lovely holiday with you, but. It's a lovely holiday with you,

Bert. Dancing with the penguins and their trousers. Oh, I love that. Oh, that's honestly, that's filled my heart with a lot of joy. I just love the idea

that there's little like American kids around being like, hello. Hello, honey. Are you going on holiday? Gordony. A cup of tea. Lovely cup of tea.

All right. Gosh, I love that. We've got not one, but two additions to the Secret Mum Club Gallery. Cue the music. Cue the music! Do you want to do the unveiling? Do you want to do one each? Go on then.

One eight. Do you want to go first? So I read the message first. Read the message first. It says, hi ladies. I just thought I'd send in a couple of drawings. The first one was drawn by my daughter, Caitlin, when she was four. And the second one she drew last week, she's now eight.

Needless to say, I'm very pleased her drawing skills have improved. Keep being amazing love Zoe. Right, you ready? Yeah. Three, two, one. Oh, mommy. Oh, but... Yeah, I see what you mean.

She's drawn a picture of mummy, but it does look like a big knob. Oh, God, bless her heart. That's a really big penis, she's given you there. And a massive ballback. What is that meant to be, though? That is a rather large. willing. What I need to know then is what was that? Is that a sleeve of your jumper? No, because she's already got arms and legs. She's already got arms and legs. So what is that?

Yeah, I did. Dong. Is that meant to be like... That's what I'm wondering. Is it the sleeve of the jumper and her arms just out of the sleeve? Or she's carrying something like a racket? To be quite honest, I'm actually quite sad that she hasn't continued this on four years later. Because I fear you're telling us that she's come on a long way since this. Should we see the next one? Yeah. What I need to know is there's a fully more graphic penis on X-Py. Yeah, imagine I am bailing. She's like a... She's got a biological diagram of her.

We've added in some veins there. I really see the erretha in that one. We're four years on now. Are we ready? Oh, wow. It's no penis mummy, but it's an amazing picture of stitch. Wow. It's incredible.

Wow. That's really good. She's eight. So I've got a nearly 10 year old and nearly 8 year old. Tots can't do that. No. She's copied the little. picture of stitch

That's really good, isn't it? Slightly sad there's no penis. I know. A big phaity. And he's got a big knob. And it says, Caitlin, I love Stitch. Oh, I didn't see that bit. Also, she's downgraded mum.

Sorry, Mummy, you're out. Mommy, Stitch is in. Mum's out, stitches in. And look at her handwritten too. I know. I think she wrote that. She's eight. That's phenomenal.

Oh, thank you. That's honestly. But when they move on from doing Do you want to look at the knob or do you? It kind of makes you sad. I think I want to look at the knob. She's never going to draw a knob. No.

A big knob. Love that. I was the fact that when I first looked at it, I was like, oh, so good. It says mummy. No, it's a massive penis. It's a giant knob. Yeah. Thank you so much, Zoe.

That is so adorable. Well done, Caitlin. I definitely am putting that on that wall. You want to look at their knob? Yes, I do. Thank you so much for your messages and drawings. Send your little ones artwork in. Because we love them.

We love them. We don't get them enough. You can email us hello at secret mumpod.com or with SecretMumPod on TikTok and Instagram. Next is time for one of your secrets. Back, we love a secret on the Secret Mum Club. And you were all so good at sharing. So Emma, what have you got for us today? Okay, this one's from Lucia. Lucia.

Lucia? Either one. I love them. Yeah. Lucy. Yeah. Beautiful. All right, it says, hi, Sophie and Emma. When I was about 11 years old, my mum took me and my cousin to Colchester Zoo for the day.

We'd had a lovely time and were queuing for the very last ride. There was a dad and his son in front of us, and my mum started chatting to the dad. Suddenly, this awful smell drifted our way and none of us knew what it was. My mum jokingly said, oh, Lucia, is that your breath? Without missing a bee, I replied very loudly. No, no, it's yours. Oh, God. No, mum, it's your fishy fanny.

Oh, burn! That is a sick burn from an 11-year-old. The dad and son in front of us and loads of people behind all heard it, Everyone was absolutely hysterical. My mum, on the other hand, wanted the ground to swire her whole. I would have fucking died. Lots of love, Lucia. Lucia, Lucille. Sorry, I hope I'm not getting your name wrong.

I'm having trouble with my muff here, guys. Not my fishy falling. Fuck me. What the fuck. That is such a burn. That is savage. If my child said that about me, I'd be taking you home from the zoo. Well, they were already at the end of the day.

No, I'd be like, we're not going on this ride. I would generally, if I said that to my mother, I would have been scared to get in the car. Yeah. I would have been in so much trouble. Coldchester Zoo. I'll walk back to Savantan, thank you. I would have been terrified for my life. I don't think I could have said it.

No. No, it's your fishyy fanny. Even if someone said that about me now, I would be dead. Like, that is... That is brave. That's such a mean thing to say about someone. I don't know if you're allowed to say that. People used to say that at school.

Do you regret it now? Yeah, I hope you do. Sorry, Lucia, Lucia. You're old enough to know you better at 11. That is mean. That is mean. You're going to give you the right mum speech. That's mean.

If Sadie said that about me when she was 11. It doesn't even warrant thinking about. I don't even know. Is your mum okay about it now? Yeah. And what did she do on the day? I want to know what her reaction was. What did she say to you in the car?

How did it go down? I feel like we need more information than this. But also for the mum to say is that your breath is quite harsh as well. Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah. Do you an 11 year old? I wouldn't have said to Colby, God, can you smell that?

I think it's your breath. Yeah. I think I would have been a little bit. Yeah. I think, yeah, but then this is a long time. ago now what we talking? Well, I don't know how old she is. Oh, okay.

She was 11 then. I hope she's not 12 because that's still she's 12. She's 12. Massive fan of the podcast. I imagine it's maybe like 15, 20 years ago. Something like that. Not last. Children are more sensitive now, aren't they?

Is your mum talking to you still after all this time? There's so many. Or does she disown you after that? To be fair. I would disown you. I think that is really savage. I'm not even. looking at it as me my child's saying it's about i'm looking at it as if i'd said it to my mom i wouldn't be

here to tell the tale yeah i would not be here i actually used the phrase fishy fanny the other day and stephan told me in relation to the baby and stephan was like that's really harsh you can't say that about her but i would never say it to her you said about your daughter having a fishy what what where is this going today with joseph right i remember it being a bit of a problem when he was about her age if he had a fishy foo if he if i hadn't changed his nappy for a while and he done lots of whee's in his nappy. I'd take his napy off and be like, oh, he's a bit smelly down below to have to get him in the bath.

Like ammonia. And so, yeah, like that wee smell. Yeah. I took his nappy off at the end of the day the other day that was really heavy with wee. And I said, just that fan. Oh, I smell like, it smells like a fishy fan is. And he was like, you can't say that about a baby. That's too harsh.

But at least you didn't know I was saying it. I wouldn't say it's my mum who's like, aware. And not in a theme park in front of a man and his son. I literally don't have any words. I don't have any words. Such a harsh burn though. No one wants to hear they've got a fishy fanny. You're saying it's a harsh burn.

You said it about your two-year-old. She doesn't know. I wouldn't say it if she was aware. Well, see you back here, Sadie in 10 years. Honey, when you want to rip your mum for calling it back at me. She will. I'm going to remind her of it. Just so you know your mum called you fishy fanny once.

You can't say it in public though. Not at the zoo Especially at the zoo God The zoo of all places And in a queue in front of a dad and his son But they didn't know where to look Oh my God

I can't breathe This is too much Too much for a chilled Thursday Wow Wow Well thank you guys so much Yeah thank you Has your fishy Fanny ever been outed

Hopefully not at the zoo Then please do let us know Imagine. Imagine we get a flurry of emails now and people are like, funny you should say. I feel like this isn't going to be, this problem isn't going to be that widespread. But we'll see. Email us. Hello at secret mumpod.com or we're Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. And we'll have more of your messages on our next Fishing Thursday episode. We'll see you on our next fishy episode.

Next time on the Secret Mum Club.