Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Fresh Start

Episode Date: July 7, 2026

Sophiena opens up about the decision to move Dottie to a new school after months of back and forth. She shares why the family decided a fresh start was the right choice, and why sometimes protecting your child's happiness means making the difficult decision. Plus, the ladies chat DIY obsessions, summer weddings, baby name regret, and one toddler's very enthusiastic game of pinchy bum. Emma Spring Bank Holiday Sale is live! Get up to 25% off plus extra 5% using the code SECRETSLEEP at Emma Sleep.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to the room. We should change it. Not our usual room, a different room. But this is a podcast for everyone. This is a podcast. This is a podcast. Every time. This podcast, hold on. This podcast is a safe space for mums everywhere. A safe space to share our secrets. Because we all have secrets, don't we? We do. And as we know, sharing is caring. You don't even have to tell us who you are. You can give that to yourself. You can be anonymous. And all those secrets can be serious or serious. Lily. All secrets are welcome in the Secret Mum Club. It's because we go from a mini to a main and it really fucks me up.

This is a podcast. Every time. This is a podcast. Welcome. Welcome to the room. I've got a really, can you see that lump here? Yeah. I mean, I've got big lumpy lumps here. You have. I can't actually rest my wrist on it. On your wristbone, it's really sore. It's this. I've got a lump here. I shouldn't Google that, should I? Arthritis. What? My mum's got like getting lumpy fingers in it's arthritis. What does you? Yeah, but your mum works hard.

She works very hard. Very hard. I was like, yeah, but your mum's old. No. I didn't say that, Nick. Emma actually said that. I, um, no, I don't really work. You don't work hard. I've actually been fucking working well hard this week. Have you? I decorated Dotty's room. Oh, yes. I saw the big reveal. I spent countless hours. I said, have you been doing workouts because your arms are really toned? But you've just been doing DIY, have you? Pence as fuck. Yeah. Everyone keeps asking me to drop my arm routine. And if I'm honest with you, I don't have. I don't have. I have an arm routine. It's just sticking cows.

I've just carried a buggy up of four flights of stairs, down four flights of stairs on the tube. I'm just lifting the babies all the time. Laying driveways, patio slabs. I haven't laid a driveway. Did I lay a drive? No. Well, weeks ago you did the gravel, didn't you? Oh yeah.

Yes. Kind of just built up from there really. Yeah. Just doing bits around the house and I think it's keeping me. Keeping you fit. Yeah. You do honestly. You look like, you've been lifting.

Lifting everywhere. Guns. Imagine I did go to the gym there. Imagine how big I would be. They'd get really big. I know. Yeah. But yeah, I've been decorating.

Yes. I cut cows. Did you cut those all out? Yeah. You didn't. Yeah. Why? Because we're in a new build house, aren't we?

And I can't put vinyl on the walls because it will suffocate the wall, make it go mouldy. Because they take like a good year or even more to dry out. So I didn't want a plus. I'd only bought three rolls. And I thought, God, I'm going to need like six or seven rolls here. So best thing I can do, cut them out. Breathing, only use two and a half rolls. But could you.

not buy a cow stickers are already cut out. But my plan was to cow print the wardrobe doors originally but then the vinyl didn't stick to the wardrobe doors so I was like fuck it let's do the wall. You only live once. It looks really good. Yolo literally is a dream come true. Every time you go

in there are you like I can see it from my bedroom like when I lie in my bed I can see it and you can just see a bit of the cow print and her little Jesse so fun. And you just keep thinking I'm thrilled with that. I'm thrilled. Truly truly I'm so thrilled and she chose everything. She chose that she wanted it pink. She chose that she wanted shelves. She chose that she wanted like Jessie themed, cowgirl themed and I just love it. Yeah, you found like, I think this is your like special skill. You found so many good products that are like in the theme. Yeah. I mean,

it helps that she chose to do it while to history five is out. It was a real, it's a real winner for me. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. But you've done well. Thank you. You've got loads of stuff. I'm very proud of it. Loads of special missions. Yeah. I did. Yeah. So I'm just now deciding what the next one is. Who's next, Renle? Colby can't decide what he would like. And I think Renle's we're going to do because we're going to transition over to the cotbed. You are. I think so. Sides down? Yeah, side down. I think, I don't know. But at the moment, I think, because Colby's undecided, I think I'm going to go for the utility room. Okay. And I'm going to hand paint on

leopard print. Why don't just get wallpaper? Because I can't suffocate the walls. It's a new bill. It's a no wallpaper. Also, this. This is a new one. Also, this. This is what everyone was saying to me. Everyone was like, fucking out. It's taking you three days to put that on. I dread to think, like, good luck for you when you take it off. But if anything, a slight bit of heat from a wallpaper stripper, that vinyl will literally just peel off.

Oh, yeah. So I've got no worry about wallpaper. Wallpaper and would cause more damage. Yeah. And harder to get off. So much hard to get off. So in my eyes, Girl Math, winning. Yeah.

So I'm not going to wallpaper. I just thought, you know, I'm just going to... Hand-pain leper print, though. Yeah. How long's that going to take? I don't know, but it's going to look fucking sick. I'm just really excited about my whole house at the moment. It's just bringing me a lot of joy.

I love that you just get a shit done. Like me and Stefan are the kind of people that have still got like poly filler on our walls because my dad did it when we moved in in November and he was like, sand that down by the next time I come back and we still haven't done it. You're waiting for Steve to come back, aren't you? I don't feel like, it's almost too embarrassing to ask him now because he'll be like, have you still not done that? It just brings me a lot of joy.

Like it brings me a lot of, I found a lot of peace in cutting out. Did you? Yeah. Wow. I wish I had more of that. That is just not in my personality type. But if you were to say to me, listen, you know that woman you follow online, Safina, the scatty bitch, do you think she's going to sit for three days and hand cut out some cow stickers?

You would have said, no. No. If I told you, Emma, that's what I did. You would go, is this two truths and a lie? No, but I do think once you've got your mind set on something, like you're going to do it and you're going to complete the project. Whereas I'm like, I look at the room and think, oh, she'll probably do that. I've got to see it through to the end as well. Yeah.

And I can't not finish it. Yeah. Because when you're up at like 3 a.m. Yeah. I told Chris, I thought, I was too hot. I couldn't sleep.

Plus, it was playing on my mind. So because I wanted it finished so bad, I couldn't nod off. So I stayed up until 2 o'clock. See that. I was just, then woke up at 10 to 3.

I could never. And by 3.30, I thought, fuck it. I'm going. I'm going ham. I still didn't finish it until like 7 o'clock that evening,

though. Oh my God. I thought I was going to be done by 6 a. And then did you like pass out at the 6th and go to bed? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was honestly, though, I love it. It is worth it, though. I think when you like complete something in the house

and then you see it every day, it's such a sense of achievement. You're like, I did it and it looks really good. And sorry, that was hiding in there, but I do apologise. There's just something so lovely about, like this is something me and Roxanne always laugh about. Roxanne would say that her home is a beige home. It's not.

I feel like Roxanne's is very neutral, very earthy. She loves it to be like, she loves a clean look, my sister. Yeah. She likes all like earthy tones, beigees and browns and greens and stuff like that. And she always says, oh, mine's just really boring. I'm like, no, you just, you love a real clean, crisp aesthetic. Yeah. If you were to walk into my sister's house, her house is a reflection of her. Yeah. If you, if that was my house and you walked in there, you'd be like, something's wrong. If you rented a home. Yeah. No, you walk into mine. There's swear words on me bog. I've painted me understairs cupboard like a tangerine.

The baby's bedrooms are going to give full energy. I want to walk in and it'd be just a representation of me. Not Chrissy, bless his art. Chris would have it all white grey and black. Would he? Yeah. He would have a very man pad with really like chic cut furniture. I can imagine it if he lived on his own and it would be like a black leather sofa.

Massive boy pad. But he does never mind. And he loves Dottie's room. He loves the downstairs. Everything I do, he loves. He always says you've done it on like a really non-trashy because sometimes when you're adding colour, not that I ever find a trashy,

I actually really love the more than merrier if you ask me, but sometimes he'll go, it can look a bit mad. That one's a bit too much for me or that one's, that one doesn't look the greatest. But he's like you're doing it in a really classy way. Yeah, you are. But I just say, I keep looking at loads of people's online.

I think, back me, I'm doing that. See a woman the other day painted a duck on her bathroom door and I thought, fuck me. I'm going to do that. Yeah, I want in on that. Give me a duck on my door that says, Are you pooping? Yes.

Give it all to me. I get all the inspo from online and then I just don't do any of it. I save them or. I'll send them to Stefan. I go, this is really nice. I've been sending in bathroom picks for like seven months. This is nice. We should do this.

Have we done anything? No. Have we even brought tiles? No. dawned on me last night. Me and Chrissy were having a chat and he mentioned about making the Onsweet bathroom a walking wardrobe. I said to him, if you leave the country for, you know, between five and seven days.

You bet your ass it'll be done by the time you get back. That's a walking wardrobe. No more onsuit. charah, tarah. I said it's actually a phenomenal idea and he's like, I'm not fucking leaving

ever. Take it out. No one needs it. Fuck it. Honestly, I'm impressed. I'm impressed. I'm in awe.

I just, the more, the merrier. I want more. Yeah. It's addictive. I think it is as well actually. Because it's almost like

it's hard for me to get started because I just think, oh, where do we even start? Like do we even have the right stuff. You've got to start room by room. But once you do it, it's like you don't want to do it. And then once you do it,

you kind of like, I'm a bit of a psycho clean. Once I get going, I'm a bit like, Oh my God, I can't get enough. And then I'll be like down on the floor cleaning something and I see something else. And I go, oh, fuck me, those skirting boards are filthy. Right?

We're doing all the skirting boards. And then I look up and see a cobweb. I'm like, shit, right? Now I've got to go around and get all the cobwebs. So I can see I would catch the bug. It's really addictive. I just need to, I need to begin. Stop on one room at the time.

I'm not confident to do like DIY and stuff. And I only like doing stuff that's in my comfort zone. You know, I don't want to start. But I never, for any second thought I was going to be able to make that room look as phenomenal as it does. You just got to start it and do it. I hang the shelves on my own. Chris come in, he was like, what have you done? I was like, hang the shelves.

And he was like, did you use raw plugs? Yeah, yeah, I did. Drilled it out, was in the brick, done it. You know about that stuff. Rung my sister. And I was like, look, what I just done? She was like, yeah, you fucking did. Yeah, go on.

Yeah, I did. But there's no excuse now because you can just like look at YouTube tutorials or whatever. I think sometimes as well is it's just having a little bit of faith. Yeah. There is nothing you can physically do. wrong. If you don't go deep enough or there's a crack, there's filler. Everything is... You can fix it. You can fix it. And I think sometimes I think people are so worried about

damaging or making it worse that even if it went to a point where it was so bad and you had to ask for some help to rectify it, there is always someone that can fix it. And I think when it's something like that, like, I'm not going to bust out and start fucking plumbing because I ain't got a clue about fucking plumbing. But the worst case is if I started toiling and and it didn't look great, then I'd obviously have to seek. Get a professional win. I actually quite mastered Tiling. I enjoyed that in the bungalow.

I think, yeah, you've just got to give it a go, haven't you? It's just having the confidence to give it a go. Yeah, you do. And because my dad has always done everything, we kind of fall back on that. But he's like, I think he can see himself not being able to do it forever now. So he tries to like give us the tools to teach us. But that's like my, my dad gave us all the tools, all three of us, all the tools to do, to do the work. I was the only one that took the bat on.

I took it. Your brother and sister are still like, no. Well, Richie's, obviously an electrician. Oh, that's pretty handy. Yeah, but I just love to do it. Give me flat pack furniture. I'll build it.

My dad used to say to his friends, look, watch her build this flat pack. And I used to build flat pack in front of my dad's friends. And people would be like, she's not looking at the instructions. He was like, she don't need the instructions. She sizes up the whole pixers screw. And I never ever got it wrong.

And I did that. Like, I used to go on site with my dad, or to people's houses, furniture for my dad. I remember as early as eight years old. But the problem is, is being that I was, I struggled at school. I didn't, I didn't, I never have the attention span to do anything. I wasn't great at learning. I wasn't doing good at school. I wasn't academically clever. And I was struggling with reading, writing, all of the shit. I had it all. I was struggling with it. So that was my only way to express myself. I'm way better hands on than what I am.

Yeah. And you were probably like, I'm good at this. So I like doing it. So I want to do it more. Yeah. But there's, there's a, there's a personality type for flatpacking and it ain't me. I'll build your flat pack Stefan's the one I love it me and Chris like to do when we get some furniture we like to do a flat pack race

do you yeah competition make it fun honestly when I say Stefan building stuff I think that is my I can't think of anything worse I love it

to even open a set of instructions I just look at it and think yeah but that's me and Roxanne Roxanne will go I'm going to build this flat pack and I say to her are you sure you're okay doing it

she's like yeah literally 20 minutes later she's like I fucked it can you come round and she's like why didn't I just ask you in the first place to do it.

We've had a parasol sitting in our shed for months. And I was like, oh, be ready for the summer. So how many heat waves and nice weather have we gone through? We still haven't got it up because we can't work out what base we need for it. So it's just sitting there. What? We can't work out what base we need for the parasol. So it's just sitting in the shed.

So we've got no shade to sit in. All these heat waves. I thought parasol was an animal. No? Parasol, like a big umbrella. Big, like, cantilever one, you know? What am I thinking of? Parrot?

Parra. what's a para? Parasite? Parasite? Parasarocyte. Oh, what's a parasite? That's like a bug you get in your... I was thinking, why the fuck you put a base on your aunt?

Is that a parasite? Like a bug you get it that gives you the shits. Oh! Right, no, not one of them. I was really confused for a second. Right, Parasol umbrella. But we just haven't done it, because I'm like, I don't know. I can't work out what base it needs.

It's got some screw holes in the bottom. I'm like, I don't know. And also to me, like, that's... call me sexist, but that's a blue job. So I'm like, Stefan, you need to go and look at that. Like, I'm not going to start looking at a parasol base. We got the kids' trampoline the other day. I'm like, I'm obviously not going to build that.

So I have to wait for Stefan to be home. I'm like, Stefan, that's a blue job. And then we wanted it up for them to like be able to go on it when it was hot. Is he still in the box? But it was too hot for him to build it in the day. No, it is built. Oh. But it was in the box for a little while.

Because obviously I was like, I wouldn't even open the box. I'm like, that's just not in my jurisdiction. It's not my remit in this house. but he started building it like one of the afternoons where it was 35 degrees and bless him he was like the instructions were so basic and bare minimum he was basically just like guessing where to put things and he was like so hot

so the next day he abandoned that halfway through the next day we were up at like 6am he was like I'm going to build that fucking trampoline now and he was like and it's going to be ready by 8 and it was he had to do it before it got too hot but there were so many things like pulling the fucking springs onto the thing and then putting the net up on the outside

was it from Smith It was from Smith's, but the makers thought. Did you go in order? Did you buy your ladder? Because that comes separate. Yeah, I bought the ladder and I bought the thing to like base it into the ground it into the ground. Because otherwise, I mean, how many trampolines have we seen flying off down the... A lot.

Over the garden fence. Yeah. But Stefan was like, get sandbags as well. Because our garden can become a bit of a wind tunnel. But anyway, it's up now and the kids love it. But the net he put on backwards. And I was like, that net is inside out. And he was like, oh, he was like, yeah, I know he's like, but I'm not threading it all back through now.

and like taking all the poles off. He was like, it's a two-way zip. And I was like, and then we started hooking it onto the springs underneath. And I was like, it's not line enough. I was like, this is not, you're going to have to change it. They're the wrong way around. It was like lifting the mat up too much. So he was like, he was on the verge of a breakdown.

This was all before a day's work at like 7 a.m. He was like, all right, take it off. Take it off. All the poles off, all the net off again. I was just like, this is just my worst nightmare. But it's up and they love it. So it's worth it. It is worth it.

Yeah. Yeah. They came home from school and their little, their little eyes lit up. Oh, no, I love it. I love it so much. Love a bit of flat packed. No, it's not for me.

Not for me. Did you have, speaking of schools, closures because of the heat wave. Yes. Our nursery, I'll check that app at half two on Wednesday. They said, we're closing. All the kids need to be collected by three. Were you okay?

I was like, well, good job I was there. I beg your finest pardon. What about the parents that weren't there? I don't actually know what happened with that. So I, because obviously Colby is asthmatic, we went in on the Tuesday. and it was warm. And by the Wednesday, Colby was struggling Tuesday. I won't lie to you. He was really, really struggling. He's had a few episodes where he's passed out at school. So I said to Chris,

what are we generally going to do? Because Colby was like, it was just so much pressure on his little chest. And I said to Chris, I just don't think I'm comfortable. One, I'm not comfortable with him going in, but two, not only is the school got 30 children that are hot and bothered. There's no air conditioning. The teachers are fucking hot. Everyone's tired and exhausted. The last thing I want to do is add more pressure and put my asthmatic child in the classroom who has been passing out to potentially be even more of a risk to them. So we'd made the decision on Wednesday to not send, not send them in. And then the school closed at 1 o'clock anyway. Thursday was fully closed.

And then Wednesday was like, sorry, Friday was then optional. So Wednesday was half day. Thursday was fully closed. Friday was optional. Did you keep them off when it was optional? Oh, the whole three days. Yeah. Because on one of the optional ones, they were like, you can pick your children up early if you want.

And I was like, no. Did you leave them in? Yeah. If they could be there, they were there. But it's your choice. Yeah, of course. No one was right or wrong for what they wanted to do. No, no, no.

It was just, you had to make the decision for your child. And being that Colby's got, Colby's got medical. Yeah. And then I thought, well, I'm not going to drag that all the children out because Chris is at work. I'm on my own with all three of them. I'm not going to then drag these two out in the blistering sunshine to drop Dottie off to then come back. Do you know what I mean? So I did.

Like ours were off on Wednesday afternoon, closed all day Thursday, and their cousins live in the same like councillary. So that was really nice so we could like go and hang out with them for the day. But then back open on Friday, because in Wales it wasn't as hot on Friday. No, a bit cooler, wasn't it? Well, it said it was going to go back to normal. We had a big thunderstorm Thursday night and I was like, oh, it's going to be like, it's going to be all right tomorrow. It was still pretty hot on Friday.

But it felt weird then because we were kind of in like a being off school weekend party vibes. I felt like the school holidays were starting. Well, then Friday morning. And I was like back on the school run, it felt weird. That felt weird. It was given lockdown times. Yeah. Or the start of the six weeks holiday.

I was ready to get pissed at 10am on Thursday. I do. I did think this is actually not so back. So obviously I'm like scared about them being off for six weeks. But when they were off on the weather was nice, I was like, actually, I could go get used to. You dabbled your toe in now, haven't you? Yeah. I did my toe and I quite liked it.

Given I did have the help of like all the cousins and the auntie and the uncle. But they'll all be off in the school holidays. They don't be off at the same time. It's going to be a whole new chapter for you. It's a whole new world for me having people. people that close to hang out with. I mean, they're going to be sick of me because they're like 15 minutes away

and I'm going to be like, what their dad is a really, so like the kid's uncle is a really good cook. Oh my gosh. And he's got like a pizza oven. Wow. And he loves doing like a smash burger.

So I'll often just text and be like, I'll fire the pizza oven up. Do you guys want to come over? So every day I'm going to be like, who wants pizza for tea? I've bought the dough. You want to rustle me something up? Bought the dough?

No, maybe I'll be like, I bought the flour. I bought myself to eat. Yeah. Don't eat me though. I bought me and two. hungry children, can we fire her up. Can we stay? Can we stay? Yeah. But no, it's been

wonderful, isn't it? It's been really nice. You don't want to moan, but it's been a little hot. It went from one extreme to the other. Just a tad. We had a wedding on Saturday. You looked beautiful. Thank you so much. So beautiful. We also don't get out much anymore. I did comment on Emma. I don't really ever get to see your story. So when it flashed up, I thought, fuck me. I'm going to

really treat myself with this one. Go through Emma's stories. If anybody didn't see it, Emma nearly plummeted into a bush. And I wanted and I was laughing so hard while I was messaging you like, I wish you got in the bush. I just thought that a second you were going to go to the bus. Do you thought when he tapped for it to the next story,

it was going to be me with my head with my head. Yes. Yes. And it was. And it was Stefan, bless him. Awkwardly walking with his two drinks. Like she's filming me. Don't fucking drop these or fall.

This is an espresso martini. But I did it. There was things that I was watching. I thought she is going to get some shit for this. Yeah. Yeah. You walked in front of the photographer. How fucking do you do you?

It's just, do you know what? That would be a very me thing to happen. I'm like, Stefan, and film me, getting a nice video of me walking into the church, this will be lovely. And then I decided to do something stupid and probably fall over. Also, how you didn't fall off that wedge, you threw yourself round in a circle. That's the beauty of a wedge. Wow.

The beauty of a wedge, they are very... Either she's going to snap an ankle, she's going in that tree. They're very sturdy. One of the other wags at the wedding was like, did you bring flats with you? I said, I'll be in these till 3 a.m. babe. I don't get out. I don't get out much. Listers and all, I will be wearing these.

These are coming to the end with me. Die hard. But it was, they were so lucky because it was like a very... very outdoor, like open, exposed wedding. It was on the bride's families, like, farm. I was going to say, it was giving farming. Which they've never hosted a wedding before. Wow.

How good did they make it yet? They need to rent that space out. I said you could be making a bloody fortune. Fortune. Was it in Wales? No, it was in Cheshire. Oh, I was going to say, maybe I could use that for a venue. Not that I'm planning a wedding.

Bit far. Yeah. But stunning, beautiful countryside. They'd made it look so nice. They'd put loads of work into like converting this barn and they had like a cocktail van outside. and it was just lovely and we don't get to go to many we don't get to go out really

we don't get to many weddings anymore you know we had the year of 10 weddings A lot of your friends are already married already married so now when we get one especially a child free one I mean Stefan's parents had the kids for two nights bless them they were on their after and go home they were absolutely

God love them they were ill and exhausted we were like you go home and get yourself some sleep but me and Stefan obviously got a little excited and we had a lovely time it was such a lovely wedding weather was stunning it was hot like the bride and groom were, I gave him a hug at the church and I was like, you are moist.

And they had to do that to 120 people. You are wet. You are wet. You're very damp. Yeah. You look great but you stink. You look great but you. You stink would be out.

No, they didn't. They didn't if you're listening. We're just kidding. Everyone smelled and looked. Fantastic. From what we saw, it was divine. I just bloody love a wedding. But I do get a bit excited and especially when the sun's out.

You basically, what you're telling us, you were pissed as a fart because the booze went to read, the heat went. You're egg. Three cocktails all night. Cocker. I was struggling yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And then I was like, this is why I don't drink. To not drink. This is why I'm not going to. This is why I'm tea total now. I had two tins. Until the weekend. I had two tins of gin at the weekend.

That was it. I was gone. Away. Party girl. Here I come. I was fucked till 7. I slept till 7.30 the next day. This was the other thing as well.

I don't know who we think we are, but we went to bed at like three and we had to be awake at like eight. No. So five hours sleep. all the drink. I was... Stupid. I don't even think I am. I'm 38 nearly. Get a grip.

That mine was on the night that I drunk. I thought I'm going to treat myself to a gin tin or two after doing Dotty's bedroom. But also I'd only had about 48 minutes sleep in the space of... That's why it went to your head. 48 hours. I was fucked up.

I was fucked up. I went to bed and I was like, oh God. Woke up the next day. 7.30. Wake up also. I felt like it was fucking. midday, woke up and Chris was like, oh, I've had some ice and toilet roll delivered. I've got you an iced coffee.

I was like, what time is it? It was like 7.30. I was like, this is basically midday. We need to be having lunch now. I was so bamboozled. I didn't know what to do. It's a horrible feeling, though, isn't it? Yeah, it's discombobulated.

I was all out of sorts. It was wild. Honestly, I went to bed at 8 o'clock last night and I feel like a new woman today. You crazy cap. You had the best time. I had a great time. Oh, I'm so glad to hear it. So glad to hear it.

We are living right now. L-I-V-A-N. Mine is decorating yours is... Weddings. Not falling in a bush. Not falling in a bush. Get fucked up at a wedding. What a girl.

So Emma and I really want to hear from you. Yes, we want you to join us in the Secret Mum Club. You're all welcome. You can share your secrets with us. Is that the right line? Yeah. Oh, thank goodness. You can share your secrets with us,

respond to what we've been talking about, or just say hello. You can find us on TikTok and Instagram. Just search for Secret Mumpod. Or you can email us hello at secret mumpod.com. Right, we've got an absolute whopper of a secret this way. I can't wait. I have dabbled my toe into my Instagram. You probably haven't seen because there's a lot of fucking shit that I post over there.

Probably too much in hindsight. But I have dabbled my toe in that Dottie got some very, very, very exciting nose. Oh. Little Miss Dottie has some very exciting nose. She has... I was going to do a drum roll, but I don't want to bang the table really hard and then... Got to play so new school! Ah!

Yeah! To do a new school! I can't talk about it. without crying because I'm very, very emotional about it. So what? Talk me through it all. Where did you leave us with this? I left us on the fact that she had changed her mind. And she was going to stay at the school.

We'd enrolled into Colby's school. She'd got her place. I bought her school uniform. We were hookline and sinker ready to go. Then? Overnight, it just... I want to say it's bullying, but I equally don't want to say it's bullying

because they're seven years old. but it just got absolutely completely out of hand. Like some of the stuff that that little girl has had to go through is truly, truly heartbreaking. So it just is getting progressively worse, progressively worse. And we had put her on the list a year ago for an in-year transfer because I didn't want her going to this school. We kind of talked about it. And I thought, what's the worse it can happen?

Let's just put her on the list. If a place becomes available and she doesn't want it, we can just say, no, thank you. because you've got two weeks to respond. So we can just say, no, thank you. And then it'll go to the next person on the line. That's basically what the council advised us to do. So I kind of thought nothing of it. And then it got to like this episode of something happening.

And I just thought, I said to Chris, I'll thank goodness we're still on the list for an in-year transfer because I think we're going to have to make the decision for her. So we left her on the list and we've carried on waiting to see if we got a place. And then obviously things have ramped up towards the end of the year. And Dottie a couple of weeks ago just said, I just can't go back to this school anymore, Mum. And it's actually been really difficult for me to get her to school.

Like, she's not somebody that suffers with, like, no confidence. She's a very outgoing, bubbly, courageous little girl with the biggest heart, and she wants to go into school. I always say she goes in for the social hour. But she wakes up in the morning. She's not talking to us in the morning. She'd cry most mornings. In the car, she's silent.

She gets to the playground. She doesn't let go of my hand. She just stands. Like, when I tell you, she's, She's like a shell of herself. We'll go up to the playground. Children will come over to talk to her and she just stands with her head down next to the pram.

And then one day she just said to me, Mum, I just don't think I can go to this school anymore. And I was just like, fuck. So I went and spoke to the school and I was like, look, this is where I stand. I've got her on an in-year transfer. I don't want to go and over to her brother's school. I want her to have a completely fresh start

and try a different setting because I just don't think this is working out for her. So I basically said this to the school. And the school just said, look, there's nothing we can do. It's not really any concern of hours. It's outside school hours, so we're just not going to do anything about it. But nothing's happening at school that they can act on. They must.

They've tried at school. I will give them their dues. They've tried, but the school advised me that they were going to keep the children separate from each other. So not to take them out of the same classroom. Because I said, is there any chance of separating the classrooms? Like take her out and put her in another classroom. And they were like, oh, that's a bit extreme. We don't want to do that.

So let's just try and separate them and, you know, see if they can meet new friends or make other friendship groups. And that lasted about a week or two. And then she'd come home and be like, oh, the teacher told me I have to play with her today. And I'd be like, oh, God, okay. And then I'd bring up the school and be like, look, she's just not comfortable. And they'd go, oh, well, they are children. So we can't really stop it. Which, again, I'm not here bashing anybody.

I'm really grateful for what the school did or tried to do. But it's impossible. It's impossible to keep the children apart. And Dotty's a bit of a people-pleaser. I feel like sometimes she'll just go along with it because she just wants an easy life. But I will tell you, she's exhausted, she's fed up, she don't want to do it no more.

And I said to the school, look, I feel like this is the straw that's broke the camel's back. If it was me and I had been, like now, somebody could say to me, oh, actually, I don't like that she's gone on the podcast and she's spoken about this. Again, I've not given any names, nor do I ever out my children's school.

I'm only ever talking about my experience or what I'm going through. I'd never bad mouth anybody. Never, for one second, ever slag anybody off. They're children. They're going to be children. There's things that have been said that I don't think are very great, but they're not my children. Therefore, I can't have an opinion on that.

But what I just said to the school is, if that was me in my place of work, I would want you to say to me, look, somebody has actually mentioned that you've been saying some unkind things. Yeah. We need to, you know, out of respect for a child, a minor, not to talk about this, but she just said it's. It is what it is. Look, I don't know the rules. I think I just, maybe I'm just a little bit, I'm just a bit tainted and upset that it's, you know, that it's our child. And it's nothing on,

it's nothing on the parents or the children or anything. It's just one thing happened in their little friendship group, which is just amalgamated, like this hateful train towards each other. Like, don't get me wrong. Fuck me. I'll be the first to tell you. Dottie is given as good as she's got. She has not taken this lightly. She's fucking stood up for her. herself and fair play to her. I wouldn't want her to just just want to take it. But it's now to the point where she's just like, I can't go to the school anymore. And then, yeah, we got a place

and we've left with immediate effect. Oh, she's left now? Yeah. Yeah, we got a place on Monday. On Tuesday, she went in, she wanted flowers for a teacher and I just said to the teacher. But I had already said to them, the moment she gets a place, I will be removing her with the media effect. Because it's affecting her, I don't know if I can say her mental health. Can I say her mental health? It's completely And we've got, what, four weeks left? That's a long time, isn't it?

It's completely dulled her sparkle, like, massively. So she, I said to the school on Tuesday, look, this is it. She's not coming, she's not coming back. We would like the leave as questionnaire because we've got a place at the new school. Obviously, arrange with the new school a date that, so Dotty's going to go for a show round and then arrange her start date. And hopefully we'll get a good three, four weeks in the new school. Yeah.

So she can familiarise herself for the building. And when she goes back into what year three? Three, yeah. make a little friend. And then when she comes back, it's not so daunting after the six weeks holiday. That would be nice. It's been a bit of a, been a bit of a whirlwind. But it was a little bit sad because it, I did it offer her.

I said, look, do you want to have a proper goodbye? And she just said, I just kind of want to go, mum, without anyone really knowing. Oh. And that's sad. She's been there for three years. She had a couple of days off a month back. And, you know, the little girl was, I was hoping that was it. You were never coming back.

So she kind of has just been sat with that in her head. So when she said to me, oh, mum, I don't think they're really bothered because they said that they wanted me to leave anyway. So I was kind of like, well, it's up to you. I'll leave it all on you. Oh, so sad. And then we left, said to the school, we're going, sent our email in, asked for the leaveers questionnaire.

And the school rang the new school. And the new school rang me and was like, um, the old school have just called me and want to know such and such information. I was like, oh, as if I was lying. As if I was making it all up. So it's been, it's got, it's got, it's gone a little bit sour towards the end. And we tried to do the best that we could as respectful as we could. And I don't know if I've done the right thing.

I'm, I'm, I'm upset for her. I'm absolutely, absolutely broken for her. Like, truly, truly broken for her. I just feel like, like I let her down. Like, I didn't do it. And I was doing enough. Like, I was doing enough. You did everything.

I just, and it's hard. What do you do in this situation? Because no, again, no parent is wrong in any of it, all of the, this that we've all gone through. No parent is wrong. We're all trying to defend our own children. We're all trying to make the situation better, whether that's getting them to play together, whether that's getting them to be separated. But it just got so out of control, like taking it between adults outside of school. I feel like I've honestly felt like I'm back at school again. I spent my whole secondary school life being picked on by girls and boys,

you know. It was horrible. I fucking hated school. And I feel like I'm just, it's just feel like it's taking you back there. Yeah, yeah. I feel like I'm doing it all. I'm very. again and she's seven years old. Yeah. But no, I feel so relieved for it. And I got her little face when I told her that she'd got her place. And she just burst into tears. And then she just said to me, what if I don't make any friends here?

What if no one likes me? And you're just like, fuck me. She will. It's fucking hard. Yeah. Well, you don't know. But I'm excited. It's the unknown, isn't it?

I know. But you know when you just think, God, she shouldn't have that in her head. She's got friends everywhere. She's got friends at dance. Her best friends are her cousins. Which makes me think, like, she just ended up with a bad. I just don't think, and this is it, I just think the school just isn't for her. Yeah.

The setting isn't for her. And those girls aren't for her. Yeah, the year group. And it's hard because when I say to her, have you got any other friends in the other classrooms? She says, she says, no. And she says, everyone's a little bit unkind. And I don't, I don't really get on with any of the other girls, which is why they've always stayed so close together. And I just said, you know what?

The problem is, is that it's not the school's issue. It's not the school's, sorry, it's not the school that's the problem. it's the friendship group so there's no way of escaping that because they're all just going to go to the new school and again we've always said what works for one child doesn't work for another and I just don't think the school setting

I think in my heart I was doing it because the babies would have been in a school for a year together but I'm doing all this for her to be potentially tormented in another school with the same children for the next four years or because I wanted to be with Colby for a year

you know yeah so no so fresh stuff Hopefully it's a nice fresh start She'll make some lovely friends at our new school And she'll be settled in there before the start of the next term In September I hope so Yeah I'm really excited

It's worked out good timing But it's funny now because I'm like now what's the school uniform What do I do all that again What do I need to buy? Is this their junior school split as well Is she going into a... She's moving into a primary now Oh so they've all been there since reception

Yes But we have got some We've got some friends there already So she's, she's going to see a familiar face. Nice. Okay. Which will be so lovely for her. Yeah.

But I, um, I bought all, obviously our school uniform to go to the other school with Colby. So now I've got to sell that. Sell that. I might just go and donate it. I think I'm going to bag it up and get Colby to donate it into the school. I've dropped all of her school uniform, old school uniform off at the school. And we had a couple of library books. I've just dropped those back to the school.

But now I've got to get her a whole. Oh, gosh. But I'm like, is this going to just tie you out for that? Because I don't really want to buy a brand new uniform before this. six weeks holiday. So I'm like, well, can you wear what you've already got? But I equally don't want to turn up in a new school. That's the thing.

She's going to have to get brand new stuff and then she'll probably grow. Well, she won't need a school cardigan right now because the weather's beautiful, isn't it? So I think that's the only saving grace is that hopefully we can get away with her skirt and her top just until we break up for the holidays. But I'm scared. I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm really nervous for her. But she's really, really excited. Good. Well, as long as she's happy, that's the main thing.

She'll be nervous on the day. Yeah, but we've got our show round on Tuesday this week. Tomorrow. It is tomorrow, but obviously by the time you listen to this, we already had it. She might be started by the time we checked back in. Yeah. But I'm really excited. I just think as well, I think it's an important message to anybody that's going through this

is to definitely listen to your heart. Something I've had to learn in all of this is that it's not you, it's not your child, it's just the situation. And some children just don't get along. and these things happen but always defend yourself always stick up for yourself and don't I think my mum spent a lot of

my childhood like going through school just saying oh just shut up tell them to piss off something just get on with it and I think that maybe hindered me a little bit growing up I mean it done me the world of good because I'm hard as nails now

in hindsight yeah but at the time tough it is it is tough I think sometimes we're we're terrified to talk about things aren't we? Because we don't want to be like, oh, my child's so perfect. Because she's not, she's not perfect in the slightest. Like I said, she's gave as good as she's got. But

that was just our decision to step away. We had to make the big decision. But I think she's really relieved. Good. But yeah. Oh, wow. That's my secret. I've been keeping that in for a whole week. That's a big one. That's huge. It was a week today that we found out. So I've kept that in a week. You didn't even put it on socials? No. No. We've kept it in. This is an exclusive. You've heard it here first. My mouth is dry though. I'm nervous as fuck.

I don't know how I kept that in for so long. I'm excited for you. I was decorating though. I had to add a distraction. Yeah, that's why you were doing all that. Mmm. Mad shit. I'm excited so I keep you posted.

Keep you posted. Oh, I'm happy for you. Thanks, honey. We're going to get into some of yours after this short break. We've got three secrets from you this week that we're going to be discussing. Ah! Got it first time. You did it.

One hit one day. Right, Emma, take it away. Okay. It says, hi girls. Has anyone ever regretted their baby's name? My son, Rory, is three weeks old and I loved his name while I was pregnant. But now every time someone says it, I feel like it just doesn't suit him. My husband thinks I'm absolutely mad and says we've called him that for three weeks now. But I can't stop thinking about changing it before he gets any older. Has anyone else gone through this? Or am I just hormonal? Love Anonymous. This is really, really common. I think this is so, so common because we had like a bit of a bit of a bit. Sorry, that sounds like we were being condescending. then no. We're trying to say this is so normal. I think naming a baby and like having to get officially registered and stuff within within the six, is it six weeks?

Yeah. It's mental. The pressure for much. Because when you're pregnant or newly postpartum, your hormones are all over the place. I just think can you be trusted to name a baby in that moment where your hormones are so high? Shot. Emotions are high. You just, you're all over the place.

And you think when you're pregnant, you love a name. And maybe when you have the baby and you look at them, you think, oh, I don't really know what they look like. But also, they don't really look like anything. They're just like a newborn baby. And you think, I am bestowing this name upon them for the rest of their lives. What a responsibility. Like, our friends always take the piss out of us because on our way, it took us a while to name Joseph. And on our way home from hospitals, Stefan sent like a rambling voice note about how.

Yeah, but it's funny though, because I think we've got new people here that don't know that Joe's Joe isn't actually his first name. No, so Joseph's first name is, I was explaining this to. to some people at the wedding at the weekend and they were like, we're lost. Dosa's first name is a Welsh name pronounced Tidia, which is spelled T-U-D-U-R. So like to an English reading mind, it looks like Tudor. It does look to Tudor. Which always used to happen at like hospital appointments and stuff. They'd be like, it's Tudor here and I'd just be like, yeah, cool, go along with it.

I'm actually don't mind Tudor. Oh, Tudor's a beautiful name. I also like love history. So I'm like, cool. Cool. But he was born at September's Hospital, which is opposite the houses of parliament. So like, when we were trying to name him, I was like, I've always really liked the Welsh name Tidia, they get called like Tids for sure, which I just think is really cute. That is really cute.

But also I was like, but we can't have that name if he's growing up in England because no one's going to know how to say it. So we need a middle name that people are going to be able to say. But we wanted to like Welshify it in some way because obviously Stefan is Welsh. So I was like, really like Joseph, but I was like, let's do it with the double F. That's like a nod to the Welsh. But everyone in England will still be able to say it. Yes. But the way we thought it sounded better was Tidio Joseph rather than the other way around. So I was like, fine. It's quite common for people in Wales especially to just use their middle name. Yes.

So I was like, so we'll just do it as that. We'll call him by Joseph and like that will be that. But then Stefan got deep into this like, oh and also like it was like Tidia has roots in like there was a, you know, a 16th century king called Henry Tudor. But he was actually Welsh. So you would have said his name like Harry Tidia. And he was like, and that's funny because we're opposite the houses of parliament. And obviously like that's where the kings would.

Right. Hold on. That's where the king's in the hospital. And when we explain, when we set a voice notes to our friends on the way home from us to explaining the name. He went into all of that in like a five minute voice note and it's now like the infamous voice note where they're like, were you guys okay? You aren't gas and air. Like why don't you say, we're going to call him Joseph and that's all you need to know. Like Stefan was like on one and now I look back and I'm like, yeah, because we were like sleep

deprived, emotional, hormonal, first baby. First time parent. Pressure of naming them is like insane. It's wild. And now I look back and I'm like, yeah, were we okay? We're okay. Say this name was really easy because she's named after her. a great-grandmother. So that kind of was... And she's got a Welsh middle name, hasn't she? She has. Yeah, her middle name is Anwen. But again, people were like, oh, are you going to keep the trend of naming her by her middle name? And I was like, no, no, we're doing it differently. We're now to, because it's too confusing. When I'm actually going to use the first name, everyone's like, what is happening?

I'm like, look, you can't be trusted to... When she gets older, people are call her Anne-Wen. People will be like, oh, yes, so Joseph goes by his middle name. So you're, Anne-Win, right? No, actually, I'm just saying it. What the... What have we done to them? It's a lot. Let alone the double barrel to. certain age. They're going to be so confused. It's a lot to name a baby. But I think this is actually a thing, do you know what? I never understood though when people go, oh, I named it but they

didn't look like a... Yeah. Like, my baby name for Colby was Ernie. That was, it was either Colby or Ernie. That was my set baby name was always going to be Dane, Dane's middle name. Yeah. Which is after my granddad. But it was either going to be Colby Dane or Ernie Dane. And when he come out and I was like, Chris goes, oh, he doesn't look like an Ernie.

I was like, well, how was an Ernie? meant to look. Sometimes it just doesn't feel right though. We had Betty for Sadie and the more I said it in hospital, the more I was like, I really love the name Ernie. If I had a boy now, if I had another one,

he would 100% be Ernie. I liked Bertie as well. Bertie's beautiful, but we've got a friend's little boys called Bertie. Yes, beautiful. But yes, I think this is really normal. But I think change it now. It's a hard time.

If you're not feeling it, change it. Can you? Is he registered though? Is he registered yet? He's three weeks old. He might be registered already. Maybe. You could just pick something else.

Yeah, just pick it and call him it. Don't worry about the birth certificate. When he gets old, it would be a fun story. And also your husband's saying, oh, we've already called in this for three weeks. It's only three weeks. It's only three weeks. I got to, I get to now and I think, fuck it, I hate the name Colby. I say it about 45,000 times a day.

Can't change you after 10 years. Colby, Colby, Colby. I hate your name. You say it so much that you end up hating their name. Don't you? I hate my name. Imagine now after 10 years, if you were just like, he's not going to be Colby anymore. He's going to be, it might be Cole when he's bigger.

You might go by Dane He might take his middle name But I hated Safina growing up Did you? Hated it Do you ever think about changing it? Yes But I don't know what I would like

Or what I think I looked like My dad wanted to call me Charlie Yeah And I feel like I suit a Charlie You do sit a Charlie I don't suit a Safina Carisouzette Yeah your name's of alpha Isn't it?

Stupid Really stupid name Savina Carasuset Could be worse Could be Roxanne Crystal I said to my dad Were you going through an era dad It's fucking out

Of the time, I think. It's like, it's a very generation. Yeah, yeah, it is. Well, Crystal, Roxanne was after the song. Yeah. Yes, but not the girl in the song. He just liked the name Roxanne. And then Crystal is like my mum and dad's names together.

So, Crystal with the K. And they're Chris and Suzanne. So they kind of just come with Crystal. And then I've got Caris, which is after my dad. So he's Chris. So my mom gave me Caris to kind of match my dad. Yeah. And my mom actually didn't like Suzanne.

She preferred Suzette. So she put that in there. So for my whole life I got called Crape. Crape Susette. Cremes-Z. Or I've been called Swarfiger, Ribina. You must have had so many. What's Richard's middle name? William Murray. Oh, that's very traditional.

Very beautiful. Ritchie. But then people used to go, oh, is Ritchie short for Richard? They used to go, no, Richie. R-I-C-H-I. But he's R-I-Demian-Murie. But William Murray was my granddad. He was William Murray Dane. Oh, okay. And hence why Colby took Dane. Very traditional for him. Yeah. But anyway, what we're saying is, in the scheme of things, three weeks isn't a long time. If you're not feeling it, change it. But let us know what you're going to change it to.

Change it too. Yeah. Thanks, because I love all the naughty, naughtiness. Also, I was going to be a Rory. Were you? If I was a boy, yeah. What great name. My friend's got a Rory. I like Rory.

I like Rory. There's not really a baby name that I don't laugh. Anywho, we're packing up 50 minutes here, honey. We're talking, we're talking. Okay, let's have number two. Okay. Hey, honey. I'm writing because I could really use some advice about announcing a pregnancy.

I recently found out I'm pregnant. Shit, and you're telling us first. This is loads of pressure. And as things stand, you two are the first people I'm telling other than my partner. Oh, thank goodness. That would have been cool. This is our second baby. They were very much planned, but we honestly didn't expect it to happen so quickly.

It took us six years to have our first child, but this little one only took three months. The reason I'm writing in is because we've got quite a few family issues going on at the moment. Right now, I'm barely speaking to anyone. I still speak to my parents occasionally because they help with childcare. And they've made it clear they don't want any family drama to affect their relationship with their grandchild. Oh, that's nice. But I haven't spoken to my sibling for over a month. My dilemma is this. When you find out you're pregnant, all you want to do is tell your mom, your dad and your siblings, but I don't want this pregnancy to become the thing that magically fixes all

our problems. That's what happened last time. We started speaking again because I was pregnant with my son and I don't want to just put another plaster over everything. I want them to want to fix things because they value our relationship, not because they feel entitled to access my children. So what would you do? Lots of love anonymous. Do you want another little secret? Go on. From me, I actually was in this situation with Renley. So when I fell pregnant with Renley, I actually wasn't, we'd had a falling out. My mum and my dad, well, not my dad.

I was still talking to my dad. But my mom and my, I hadn't spoken to my mum and my sister for 15 months. Wow. Because something really bad had happened in the family. And we weren't talking. My mum and my sister were still talking, but I wasn't, you know, I wasn't talking to my mom and my, well, I say I wasn't talking. They weren't talking to me. Either way, we, you know, we resolved it.

But I fell pregnant with Renley and felt the best thing to do was to use it to mend the relationship. And it did. It did with my sister. But it's always been, it is hard, isn't it? I don't really talk about things online. And our private life is a happy life. There is things that happen within families that I think everyone thinks it's all beautiful and roses. When in reality, sometimes your family isn't good.

And we talk about this all the time. I think there's this expectation to have the most perfect family. and sometimes it just doesn't work out. And it worked for a bit, but there's unfortunately, you know, me and my mum, we're really, really butt heads. We're really butt heads. And sometimes we're actually worse for each other

than we are good for each other. So right now, no, she's not around at the moment. If the children want to see her and she wants to, they want to have a relationship with her, I'd never stop that. But right now, we're just not around. And I feel bad sometimes because I feel like, I forced the pregnancy to make the relationship okay.

And in fact, it didn't actually change any. It didn't change anything. And I think, again, we've got so much pressure to be like, oh, well, I'm pregnant. We must have a baby. You know, we're having a baby. We must have our grandparents around. And sometimes it's not always the best decision. And that's okay.

Again, I feel like there's nothing wrong with, you know, if I was to see my mom in the street or, you know, the children wanted to see her. I'd go and see her. But we're just not healthy free. other you know yeah but it is it's a tough one yeah it's really I mean I think with a pregnancy like you're obviously can't keep it secret forever no it's gonna become obvious yeah so I think you can like almost bury your head in the sand for a while but you're gonna have to tell them eventually so I think tell them but with the caveat of you just explain it to them I think also it's hard isn't it but I don't want this to

become like a sticking plaster if their mom and dad are involved with their already now baby with child care yeah obviously your mom and dad are gonna find out if you know once they eventually see your bump, but if you choose not to tell them until it's visible, will it then get back to her sibling? Yeah. And then that's a tough one because then it's secondhand information. It's not like they've rung up to ask how you are or ask for they can pop around for tea and then you've had that safe place to tell them.

Yeah. It could be secondhand information, which then feels like they're that they're only talking to you because you're pregnant now, you know? Yeah, yeah. So it's a tough one. I think I would just be up front and just be like, I personally. Look, I just wanted to let you know that I'm having another baby. but I don't want this to mean X, Y, and Z.

Yes. And just explain yourself. I think I would do that. I think I would do the same. I think I would just say, look, I know everything's going on at the moment. I'm not looking for a congratulations or anything like that, but I'm having another baby. Blah, blah, blah. And this is how things are at the moment.

I'm not wanting it to change anything and I'm not expecting anything else from you. But I also don't want you to hear it from somebody else. I agree. That's me personally, I think. Yeah, I would do that, I think. Yeah. Because it's going to become apparent. But I hope everything works out for you.

Yes. And what a lot of stress right in early doors of pregnancy as well. And having another baby already. Well, yes. Right. Let's have a last one. All right. It says, hi, ladies.

At home, we try to have a really open, fun household. We completely normalise the human body and want our girls to feel comfortable in theirs. Whenever anyone has a naked bum, it's automatically a pinchy bum, even darts. I've lost count of the number of times the girls have chased him around the house trying to pinch his bum. We also have another family favourite, naked baby. Whenever Emily gets naked, she plants her hands on her hips, sticks her teeth, tummy out, wiggles from side to side and proudly shouts, Naky baby!

Anyway, we were at Gracie's ballet class recently and one of the little girls was getting changed. Emily pointed at her and loudly announced, Mommy, Naky baby. I quietly said yes, sweetheart, leave her bee and carried on chatting to one of the other mums. A few seconds later, I turned around to find Emily

following this poor little girl around the room, trying to pinch her bum. Trying to pinch her bum while shouting pinchy bum, pinchy bum, pinchy bum, pinchy bum, Bum. I was absolutely mortified. I didn't even apologise. I just picked Emily up and left. Lovely Ann. Oh. That's adorable. That's the problem, isn't it? We're in that real pinch point with Joseph at the moment. I think a four-year-old is like peak. Curiosity, obsessed with like nudity and the body and willies and poo and bums and farts and all of that, which I don't want to shut down.

I'm like, that's fine. And it can be funny. Yes. But also I'm like, but please don't do anything. Don't do anything outside the house. Like, it's a really fine line to draw. I want them to be like, like, you know, like Leanne says, proud of their bodies and not to feel like they have to cover up. But also I'm like, but your body's for you, okay? No one else. Don't do anything right outside. It's a very, it's like confusing for them, isn't it?

It's really hard. Yeah, because they've got to try and understand it. They're like, well, I can do it here, but I can't do it there. What, Dad wants his bum pinched, but this girl in the changing room doesn't. Or that man in the urinal. Yeah. I beg and find his pun. God.

It's a hard one. It's a tough one. It's a really, really tough one. But I love that. There is a lot of innocent in that, though. I don't think I would be bothered, you know. You just don't know what situation they're going to use it in next. And I think also you don't know who it's stumbling across, do you? Who's going to take it well? Who's going to be offended? And it's hard. This is the world that we live in now, isn't it? Yeah. But that has brought me a lot of joy. I mean, I was going to say she can pinch my, I didn't mean it like that. There's nothing better than a naked baby. Yeah, nothing better. We're in fully naked all the time

at the moment with Renner's. Oh, yeah. divine. Yeah. So thank you for sharing your secrets this week. Everyone is welcome in the Secret Mum Club. If you'd like to share your secrets with us, you can. The email is hello at Secret Mumpod.com or with Secret MumPod on TikTok and Instagram. Is anyone else in their DIY queen era?

Or has anyone else had baby name regret? Then let us know there really is nothing too outrageous. Keep an eye out for our Thursday episodes. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club.