Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Gran Who Knew

Episode Date: June 4, 2026

One listener shares an incredible moment with her granny, who predicted a baby was on the way. The ladies also get emotional over how quickly children grow up, from toddler cuddles to secondary school applications, and offer advice to a mum struggling with whether to keep chasing a relationship with an absent parent.Emma Spring Bank Holiday Sale is live! Get up to 25% off plus extra 5% using the code SECRETSLEEP at Emma Sleep.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursday's episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. Can't squeeze your bits today. I'll just pretend that you're going to... You're going to virtually squeeze my bits. Virtually squeeze your bits.

All of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories. To keep you going through the weekend. Show it Jambon! Nah. We should say because it's not a visual. I am at home today. Yeah, the world's melting. Literally.

My drive is melting. and Emma train melted. Yeah, my train melted and I'm currently melting in this studio because I don't have the air conditioning like you have. Sorry, honey. It's so cold in here.

It's like an igloo. I can see your nips from 200 miles away. I mean, they're always wrecked. They're so big. They just stand there. Hello! To attention. To attention.

How are you? I just want to check in. I'm okay. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm great. Good. Don't sweat over there. Don't melt like my drive.

I can't believe it's like it's never hot in Wales. And everyone's like, oh, too hot. It's raining tomorrow though. Got to make the most of it. Yeah, no, back to normal. I'll try not to complain too much because it'll be back to normal by tomorrow. We'll be back to normal tomorrow. Right.

Are you ready for another? Correspondence corner. Oh, Emma, take it away, honey. Okay, this one is from Pippa in Wiltshire. Hello, Pippa. It says, hi, so for them. Pippa here, long time TikTok watcher, new podcast listener. I'm a mum to two boys who seem to have become men overnight.

Keen is 20 and Charlie is 16. I love hearing you both talk about how different each child is because my boys are complete chalk and cheese too. With a four-year age gap, I was always worried they wouldn't be close, but now they're inseparable and mostly just tag team winding me up. I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. But if I could go back and have just one more day of shopping with my little pirate toddler or cuddling up reading books together,

I'd give my right arm for it. So please enjoy all the little moments with your little people because it really does go by so quickly. Keep smiling. It annoys people. Pippa, what are you trying to do to us? Oh my God. You're even going then. I found it hard to read.

Your little lump in your throat was going. It's hard to read the lines about like, oh, just soak it up. You know, I'd love to take my toddler shop in and sit in the little, sit in the trolley again. I know. I do always try to remind myself that when I'm like, oh, fuck sake, you've got to take the kids around Tesco again. It's going to be a nightmare. Yeah, I'm probably sure I'd give my right arm to do that in 20 years time. I know.

And it's so hard because it's not until you're like in the thick of it that time is past. Like now I've got, you know, Cobby was doing some funny stuff in the garden. You know, if the outside world was watching, everyone would have freaked out. But like my whole family was just in hysterics and he just had the whole, like held the whole like dining table of like adults and everybody. And I just sat there and I don't even want to be emotional, but like he's 10. And like I sit there and I look and it's really hard because obviously I've got Renley now who's two. and Colby that's 10. And I see so much of Dotty and Colby in Renly.

And then I look over at them and it's like, you know that thing of when people do like them trend videos where they go from like where did the time go and then they've got a massive child, they've gone from a baby to a massive child. And it's really hard because in the moment when you're like watching Renley potter around and then Colby runs over and you're like,

oh fuck that's not like and my heart skips because I'm like, that's not Colby. That's Renley and like Colby will come over and like have a full blown conversation. with me and I'm just like, fuck, where is 10 years? Where has 10 years gone? Like I'm just about to put him in his last year of junior school and sign him up to secondary school this year. And it's just, fuck it, it's really hard. It's really hard. And if I could give anybody and it's horrible when you see people in the shop and you're pregnant and they go, I'll make the most of it

because the time goes so fast. It couldn't be like any more true, like any more true. And it frightens, frightens the death out of me. It's hard for you because you've got like literally both ends of the spectrum, like, visualised to you every day. Like, I know my kids are going to grow up fast, but they're still four and two. Whereas, like, you can look at Renley and look at Colby and go, how quick did that time go with Colby? And now, you know, in another eight years, Renly's going to be Colby's age. Eight years goes by just like, just like that. But then I suppose at least you have got, like, because you have got the big gap, it's nice that you've got both ends of it. Like, you can see Colby's starting to become a grown up now, but you've still kind of

got a baby as well, which is, it's nice to have both, isn't it? But yeah, that's why this say hindsight's a wonderful thing because when you're in it, sometimes you're like, oh, fucking else. It's like, the days are long, but the years are short is what they say, isn't it? And it's, it couldn't be more true. So I really try and take that on board and like live in the moment. And it's hard when like, you know, you're having a really shit day or they're just being a nightmare and you just think, oh my God, I can't wait. Like I spend a lot of days just counting down until bedtime. I can't wait to have some time back to myself. And then I always try and check myself and go, you're going to really want this back one day. So try and even on the

shit days, even when they're throwing their dinner. on the floor. Do you know, it's hard, but try and live in the moment. Yeah. And just enjoy it for what it is. It is hard. And we're all just doing our best, aren't we? And also I really love that the boys have got such a beautiful relationship as well.

I know. That's all I hope for is that Joseph Sadi are friends when they're older. Because sometimes when they're fighting now, I think, oh my God, if she remembers this, she's going to fucking hate him when she grows up. Yeah. But, you know, luckily, we know now that memories don't start it too. So hopefully she won't. she won't remember any of it but I do I love like I know me and you really like nostalgic and we're

always like you know holding on to the the baby things like find it really hard to let go and like when they grow up or they grow out of something we're like oh no our babies are growing but I do love seeing them getting a bit older as well and kind of getting their own personality and like getting a cheeky sense of humour like on the way out of the bedroom the other day I was wearing no clothes because it was really fucking hot and I just got out of I just got out of bed and I was over to make the bed. Joseph just smacked my bum and ran out of the room. And me and Stefan were just like cracking up with like, it was just so spontaneous and so

like funny in the moment. And I was like, I just love that he can just do that now and it's not weird. Like when he's 16, 20, yeah, that might be a bit weird. But like as a four year old, he is, sometimes his behaviour is really challenging, but he's becoming so funny. And he's really starting to like understand humour. And he knows when he does something that we find funny. And he's like a bit of a clown.

really plays up to it. And I love seeing like that part of him starting to come through as well. So I think there's, there's beautiful moments about all of it. But it's like Colby yesterday, like he just held the whole table. It was an hysterics. And what to, 16 year old Colby will absolutely, absolutely cringe of what he was doing. But he's really obsessed with Michael Jackson at the moment. Like he's loving listening to the music. He wants to learn the moonwalk. Like he just, he's in a, in a very like a, Colby gets quite obsessed with things. and he's really like loving it at the moment, trying to dance like him.

And yesterday he was just thrusting his crutch. And my bigger nieces, so Eden and Ember were literally like, oh, Ember was wanted the ground to just open up and swallow her because she was like, no, you can't do that, you can't do that. And he was thrusting this big squishy around. And I was just like, oh, fuck, stop it. And then he was like, watch this, Auntie. And he'd like thrust this guy.

And he was like, looking up at the sky. And he said to my, my sister was like, Kobe, what have you lost? And he was like, my pig. penis. I was just like, fuck. Okay, right, let's not do this. And he was just, my sister couldn't breathe. My sister was like, I had, ribs were aching. But 16 year old Colby would absolutely cringe at it. But it just, it's just, was such a so funny. But you know, then you're like, I've just got to live in this moment because you don't want to tell him like what you're doing is very inappropriate.

Don't do that. Because obviously he's little. He doesn't understand what he's doing. And you're just like, oh. No, I love that though. Like before they lose the childhood innocence. You're like, you're just, You're just being a nine-year-old boy and it's funny and it's sweet and it's cute. Like, let's just... The bigger girls were just like, Auntie, does he know what he's doing? Nope, he's got no idea and we're just going to leave it at that. Just leave him to it. Hurry on.

But thank you so much, Pippa. That is incredibly sweet. Yes, thank you, Pippa. All right, I've got one more message here. It says, hello, lovely ladies. It's story time. Yes! I actually started listening to the podcast as someone who desperately long to have children.

At 22, I was diagnosed with endometriosis and told I had a heart-shaped womb. Doctors said I'd never conceived naturally and would most likely need IVF in the future. Then, just before lockdown in 2020, I met my current partner. Things moved very quickly. He moved in only eight weeks into the first lockdown. And now six years later, here we are. 2004 was the hardest year of my life after losing family members. But then everything changed. One week before my Granny Anne passed away, I was sitting beside her hospital bed,

surrounded by family, when she suddenly said she could see someone pregnant with a little girl. I laughed and said, well, it won't be me. I can't have babies. A week later, she passed away peacefully, and I got to cuddle her and say goodbye. Then, just 10 days later, I found out I was pregnant with a little girl. Oh.

I just got goosebumps, did you? It brings me so much comfort knowing my granny somehow saw my baby before I did. When I cuddled her goodbye, she was cuddling my little girl too. She was like another mom and best friend all in one. That little girl is now called Emily Ann, named after her granny. Oh, granny. And she turns one this year. She's the biggest blessing in my life.

And now I'm currently 26 weeks pregnant with baby number two. Going from no children to two in less than two years has been a complete whirlwind of emotions. But this is the life I used to dream about. And I count my lucky stars every single day that I get to live it. So this is for anyone out there struggling with endometriosis or worrying they may never have children. It is possible. Please stay hopeful. Love the podcast.

Love you, Ladies, Anonymous. Oh, my God. Are you crying? Oh, that is just too much, isn't it? Oh, my goodness. What a crazy story. She's named the baby after her granny Ann. Emily Ann.

And now she's pregnant with a second. I can't believe it. It's just mad, isn't it? It's like it's so hard because there's so much, like I feel like there's so much pressure put on us, isn't there? There's so much pressure to, you know, you have to be a mum and you have to have children. And sometimes that's just not how people's life is going or how they want it to go, you know. And some people will choose to not have children. And then there's people that do want children.

then life throws a curveball at you and like having something that limits your choice. We've talked about this before. I know that. And it's something that is not your decision, but because your body isn't responding or working as it should do, someone has to make the decision for you, which I think is way more painful than you making that decision for yourself. But just when things like this happen, it just, it throws my head in a spin because I just believe there's just something else there.

there's something else in the universe, you know? Does that make sense? Like, I truly believe. Yeah, it's hard. Like, I'm typically like someone who doesn't believe in, like, higher powers and, like, supernatural things. And I don't think ghosts are real and all that kind of thing. But then when things like that happen, it's just, it's just weird, isn't it? And it's, like, hard to explain it away.

Like, the timings are so coincidental. Like, how do you explain how she went from not being able to have children? So basically her granny said, her granny predicted that she was going to be pregnant. Her granny already knew. Her granny had most probably already met her baby. Like that is, for me,

it just, there's got to be something else there. There has to be something else there because how, how do you ever explain that? You can't explain it. It was, she's defied all odds of what doctors have said,

you know, and I was never meant to have children. I'd had my eggs frozen. I had my sister as a sarager. Yeah, met Chris and eight weeks later, after having a doctor's appointment about my condition, I just said, and that was it, we were pregnant. What? Yeah. It's really hard not to like attribute it to some, just to some like higher power or some higher being. But I don't even think that that was me though,

because obviously we, Chris was really, really, really, really close to his grandma, like really, really, really close to her. And she was so, Chris is the oldest of her grandbabies and was the first to have a baby as well. So it was really, really big to her. And she got really, really sick while we were pregnant with Colby. And she just kept saying, like, to Chris, like, the baby's going to be fine. Everything's going to be okay. And this is all you've ever wanted. And like when we had Colby, she unfortunately passed a week after having him. So we never got down to see her and she never got to meet the baby. And I just feel like even the power wasn't on my side because obviously I know we got pregnant, but even like an energy from Chris's side, like even if it was Violet had had something

to do with him longing for a baby and had put that power to us, do you know what I mean? Like, had I not met Chris, would I've met somebody else not been able to have this beautiful family? You know, Violet maybe had done something. Yeah, you'll never know. You'll never know. But yeah, that's an amazing story. That got me right in all the fields.

Oh, that is absolutely beautiful. please keep us posted on your second bundle of joy. I'd love to know also if it's not too personal, because I've never heard of, I've obviously heard of a heart-shaped womb, but I've never spoken to anybody that has one. So did the pregnancy go full term? Was everything okay with Emily Ann?

Did the labour? How was your labour? Like I'd love to know, I'd love to know all the deeds. Yeah, and with baby number two as well. She's halfway through that one. Also, I'm obsessed with the lockdown. Yes. that meeting someone in lockdown

and then like people that just were like oh well shit we're going to have to just bubble together and move in together now move on in honey six years later we're still together oh so beautiful I love that what an incredible story and to share that with your babies as well

when they get big oh stop it now I can't cope I can't cope I will be an emotional wreck I will so thank you so much for your messages if you do have any comments thoughts or funny stories why not get in touch The email is hello at secretmumpod.com or with SecretMumMumPod on TikTok and Instagram.

Next is time for one of your secrets. Welcome back. We love a secret on the Secret Mum Club. And you're all so good at sharing. Emma, what have you got for us today? Okay, this one says, hi, Sophan Emma. I was just listening to your last podcast about family members being involved in your child's life and I'm currently going through this exact dilemma. I moved five hours away from my family eight years ago.

And ever since then, my mum and stepdad have always made the effort to travel up and down so we can see each other. But my dad has never done the same. Over the last eight years, he's promised time and time again that he'll come and visit, but he never has. I now have a nine-month-old little girl called Rosie, and she's the first baby in our family since my brother, who's now 24. So it felt like a really big moment for our family moving into the next generation. But my dad still hasn't visited. He never invites us down either, so we only see each other if I make the effort. I'm at the point where I'm considering just blocking him out completely.

As much as I don't want it to come to that, I'm starting to think it might actually be what's best for my little girl. My question is, what's the best way to handle this? Do I just stop replying to his once every six months, how you're doing, texts and move on? Or is there a more formal way to draw that boundary? I love the pod. It genuinely keeps me going. Thank you, Georgia and Rosie from York. It's a really, really tough one, isn't it?

And it's not something that I have bought to the podcast and something that I've talked about. But I have personal things going on in my life. And it's a really, it's a really tough one because I'm a true believer in, if you wanted to, you would. And I kind of think I've spent my life going through that, you know, we're going through it. The only scenario I can put it to at the moment is Eden, my eldest niece is 17 and she has her whole life struggled with friendships. And she's had a little bit of a scenario where one of her friends has got a boyfriend. and she is having to deal with the new stage of their friendship where are now boys involved and their time is now divided and it's she's questioning herself she's questioning like

am I doing something wrong because she's not texting me as much auntie and she's got all the natural feels of a relationship and her friends got her her boyfriend now and it's it's hard we have to go through these motions of life and I say to her a friendship is just as important as a relationship you have to work it has to work from both sides you both have to have to work. to put the same amount of energy in. And the only way it can work is if you've both got your ore and you're peddle in the same way, because if one pet, one oars out of that boat, that's just going to keep on spinning round and round and round, or you're going to really, really struggle with trying to row that boat all on your own. So I've always said, you know, with everything

in my life is that a relationship, whether it be parent, whether it be auntie, whether it be cousin, whether it be friend, whether it be anybody, any relationship in life has to come from both angles and I truly believe you you get out what you put in you know if you're putting all the work in you would expect the same respect back and if I don't get the same back I just cut it off and that's probably really harsh and really really brutal and probably way worse since I become a mum because I'll be damned if I'm letting anybody into my children's life for them to just fucking walk out of it and that's that's really really harsh But I am so selective with who's in their life.

I'm so selective with who gets the beauty of sitting in a room with them and watching them make them laugh or watching them in vulnerable situations when they're feeling emotional and feeling all these big things in their life. I'll be damned if I'm going to let anybody just walk in and have that. You know, and I know my job is odd because it's social media and I put, you know, put my life on social media. But having a relationship with my children is far, far more important than me now. And I just cut it off.

And if it just doesn't serve them, I just don't allow it to happen. And this one is hard because there has been a very hard situation in our family at the moment that we've had to try and deal with. And unfortunately, I've had to just walk away because it just doesn't serve me or the children and it's too painful. and an odd text message here or there about the weather or about traffic on the motorway every few weeks. It just doesn't mean anything and it's hard because you want to hold on to that relationship and you want to hold on to that love. It's just too painful. It's too painful. And if you're not going to ask me even in a text message how my children are, then unfortunately I'm the one that would just

cut them off. Yeah. It's really hard when it's your mum and dad, isn't it? We've had these conversations a few times on the podcast about grandparents, but I think this is even tougher because it's like one step closer. And obviously, I think you'd want them in your child's life if they could be. I mean, we don't know what George's relationship with her dad is like. Like, has it been fractures in the past? I would have a conversation rather than just like cutting it off and never replying because he might not really understand what he's done wrong. He might be, he might be like why she suddenly just stopped responding to my text. So I think it's worth having a conversation because your dad might have stuff going on as well.

Yes. That he might want to talk to you about. I would say mine has been, unfortunately, years. And it was the case of that we have conversations and we try and we have conversations and we try. And it unfortunately doesn't go anywhere. And it's to the point now where the children are getting hurt. So it's a decision that we've had to make now that the children are understanding and they're getting hurt by certain actions. and things that are happening. So I don't want to say it was just an overnight decision for me that I cut

them off. I did, we've given them the benefit of the doubt and we've worked really hard to try and make it work. And it just doesn't. So I'm with Emma on that one. I would give them the benefit of the doubt and have a conversation because your dad, as you said, because your mum is with your stepdad. So obviously your mum and dad aren't together. Your mum has remarried. I don't know where your dad is at with his relationship. But we also do have to give everyone. the same respect because we don't know what's going on in everybody's lives. So I definitely do think it's worth the conversation just to let him know how you're feeling and how upset you are because also you are, it's only a nine month old baby as well. So there is a lot of things that are

going on in your life and it is a really exciting time. It's the first baby in a really long time in your family. So you would expect your dad to show up and be a granddad and maybe he just doesn't know that. Yeah, maybe he's not sure like what's expected of him or how he should like behave in this new role because it's the first grandchild. So you might speak to him and he might go, oh God, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you wanted X, Y and Z or I didn't know you wanted me to invite you down more or, you know, he might say you're always welcome, of course. And then you might be able to, best case scenario, resolve it and still have a relationship with him and he has a relationship with your daughter. But I think you just need to have the conversation and see where

everyone's at. Yeah, then you can take it from there, can't she? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yes, I think you're right to think of your little girl, absolutely. It's 100%. Once you become a mum, that's like the forefront of your brain is just everything is them, is them little people. Everything is about them. Their happiness, their respect. You know, I know she's only nine months old, but that's her whole entire world. And no one, no one wants their children her, not in any way.

And it is hard because she'll now want her dad to show up for the baby. But not necessarily. We put ourselves on a back seat, don't we? It's not about us anymore. It's about having a relationship with the baby. So yes, it is a toughy one. Good luck, Georgia. And keep us updated.

Keep us posted. Again, if anybody does have anything, it has experienced anything like this or going through anything like this or have gone through it and you're on the other side as to whether it be a positive outcome or negative outcome,

we do love to share it on. And hopefully, if anybody does have any experiences, we can pass them on to Georgia. Yep, you can email us. It's hello at secret mumpod.com or with SecretMumPod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back. We'll be back. We'll be back together first thing on Tuesday. And we'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode.

And we'll see you next time on the Secret Munk Club.