Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Great Escape

Episode Date: June 24, 2025

We’re back, boo! The ladies are reunited in the studio, and there’s plenty to catch up on. Soph’s on the mend and shares her run-in with a rogue poo, while Emma’s been tearing up the town on a hen do. Plus, the girls help a mum just starting their weaning journey, hear from a babysitter caught in a toddler escape plan, and share some controversial thoughts on the birth of Evie Pig. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Moving money used to be slow. But now, you can move money fast with Visa Direct. Meet the need for speed, even across over 11 billion cards, accounts, and wallets. Move money your way. Learn more at visa.com slash Visa Direct. Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. This podcast is a safe space for mums everywhere. A safe space to share our secrets. Because we all have secrets, don't we?

We do, and as we know, sharing is caring. You don't even have to tell us who you are. You can give that to yourself, you can be anonymous. And all those secrets can be serious or silly. All secrets are welcome in the... Secret Mum Club! We've had a wild day today, haven't we? Yeah, it's a big day. It haven't we? Yes, big day.

It's a huge day for the podcast today. I was going to say for me, it's not, I've been talking about it on my socials and I keep saying, well, it's not just me, it's the whole team. It takes an army to get to where we are, doesn't it? It does. And today is a really, really special day because... We've been nominated for an award. We have been nominated for an award.

What the hell? I know, the International Women's Podcast Awards. Yay! And it's the award for absolute legend. Absolute legend. Yeah, absolute legend. We'll obviously class first. We've won it. Yeah, we won the whole category.

They just thought don't even come. We got the gold. Because you got it. Yeah. No, I don't rate myself that much. No, we're in the category of... Absolute honesty. Absolute honesty.

And it was for your, it's for the Nicky episode. Yes. Which is a wonderful, it's just an episode. I feel like I will just cherish forever. It was just such a time in my life. That is so special. And I love that we've been able to talk about it and have have that platform to be able to talk about it and share it with the world. And the fact that it's up for an award. I know. What the heck? And you resonated with so many parents didn't you? You were saying earlier you're still in touch with some people who got in touch with you off the back of that episode.

Actually it's really wonderful to watch because there's people now that I follow and there is a couple of mummies that are currently in the NICU and it is hard to watch, I won't lie to you, I find. But I do, I'm that person that I really do love watching it. It's like crime. Like I love crime documentary. Do I go out in the dark? No. Am I scared of my shadow? Yes. So it's like one of those things, as much as I find it really, really emotional to watch, there's also some sort of calm in it for me that I watch and you can resonate with the mums and you know, you fit, you do automatically like a sponge, just feel that, that every emotion. So it is a wonderful episode. And it's as much as the memory was a really, really, really hard one to live through. I kind of like that I have that to

look back on, you know? Yeah. Yeah. And it's nice, like you say that we were able to talk about it so people can go back and listen to that episode. You can go back to and we met some fantastic people today. didn't we? We did. Yep, and we met another lady, didn't we, in our category. Yep, up for the same award. It's tonight, so by the time this goes out, we will know the result, but we all know the ceremony today.

So we don't know at the moment. We don't know, we don't know, but we want to wish everybody the best of luck, don't we, in every single category. We've had a fabby day. We have. I popped to the shop at Battersea. Yeah.

We had some lunch. Picked up some bits from M&S food. I did pick up some bits and Lindex, kids, obviously, because Lindex will always have my heart. Yeah. But yeah, it's been a lovely day. It has. And we're back in the studio after like three weeks.

I know. There's me going on. Like we are not addressing the elephant in the room, the fact that I've not fucking been here. Hello. Where have you been? I was knocking on the door of someone please help me. I don't know if even if it's something you can talk about and I don't even know that

I don't think I talk about it enough because I think I'm in denial myself. But because I suffer from PTSD, which is post-traumatic stress disorder and have done since a really, really young age. And again, it's not really ever something I talk about. But I've never been diagnosed with it, but I definitely feel like I have. Well, I do have a massive fear of, of not no longer being here. Um, and it kind of takes over my brain. So the moment I get a little bit sick or aches and pains, I'm on Google.

I'm Googling everything. I'm searching everything. And I think I do get myself more stressed out. Do you, do you know what I mean? Yeah. But I've had a lot going on in my life, which you know, nothing to panic about, nothing to worry about.

The episode will be coming where we do talk about this. We've just been talking about it this morning. So it's just been a lot going on. And I think I just got so run down with so many things, but I actually took myself to a doctor, which I never ever do. That's rare for you. Not in the point where I run Chris and I was like,

I've put myself a doctor's appointment. He's like, you fucking okay. Cause I'm always in my head and I don't know if anyone can relate to it is if, if I pretend like it's not happening, then it will just go away. Yeah, you just bury your head in the sand. Always.

Yeah. Cause I can't think about it. The more I think about it, the more I stress, the more I panic, the more I'm like, it could be this, it could be this, it could be this. And I'm my own worst enemy, truly. But I did go to the doctor. And yeah, I've been really unwell.

I've got myself an inhaler. I'm off to see a respiratory nurse to check my breathing. I'm on antibiotics. I've got myself some hay fever medication, which you actually were shocked by today and the fact that I don't take any tablets for my hay fever. I couldn't believe this. Because I'm apparently taking tablets. Because we're always bitching and moaning about how bad the hay fever is.

As listeners will know. Yeah. But I can't. I'm British for fuck's sake. Yeah, I can't believe that you. Another line without any resolution. But you haven't, you've been taking anything for it, which is insane. Listen, I moan about sticky clutch and someone goes, have you taken it to the garage?

No, I haven't. Why would I? Just gonna moan about the fact that my clutch in my car is sticky, you know? I literally can't believe that you're living through hay fever and not taking anything for it. They were like, the summers where I was pregnant, they were the worst because I wasn't allowed

to take antihistamines. But I thought if I could survive it through three pregnancies, then fucking. But why not just pop yourself a little antihistamine every now and then? Because I just can't, Emma, or I get myself a little bit stressed and I... But it's worse to live with the symptoms.

I know and I think now it's caused... I've been tested for... Tested, I don't know if you can say it like that, but being checked for if I'm asthmatic. Yeah. And they just think it's years of fighting hay fever, which hay fever every year gives me a chest infection. What, because like coughing has ruined your lungs?

It's so, yeah, so bad. I've been in so much pain. I lost my voice. I couldn't even believe it when I said to Chris, I haven't been in the podcast for three weeks. Yeah. I mean, when talking is literally your job, that's quite bad, isn't it?

Well, I think it was a blessing for a lot of people. Chris mainly. Yeah. He's like, thank fucking hell. The only time he gets any bloody peace. Am I right? But no, it's been very much a lot of sitting in bed, sitting on the sofa, crying.

I've cried a lot, but that's not a shock. That's hard for you to do, to do nothing, isn't it? But I think that's a real, let this be a lesson to you. Oh, do you know what? Right, actually, I have taken it, this is a massive, massive sign to, one, I think, look after myself because I really, really don't do that. And I do put everyone else before myself and I don't want to say, oh, I'm that person that just puts everyone else before, but I do.

I don't have fucking time to be sick. And this is proof of someone telling me, well, you do have time because otherwise you're gonna pass out. But I lost my voice. It was terrible. I even now, I said, I'm- You're on the edge.

I said, I'm a little bit stressed because it keeps going. And if I talk for a long time or walk in, I'm so out of breath with walking. Yeah, God. I've been really struggling with that. So I was like, gosh, I'm going to have to walk around London. I'm like, ah, no!

By the time I get here, but I think I'm doing okay. Yeah, you're doing all right. I've been awake since four, so. Let's just hope it holds out. It's a plus two now, I'm doing all right. It can be a little bit, it's going to be a bit. It's coming, isn't it? It's coming back.

But no, I would say my week hasn't really been as fun as yours. Your three weeks. Three weeks, yeah. Well, no, to be fair, there is't really been as fun as yours. Your three weeks. Three weeks, yeah. Well, no, to be fair, there is nothing that's happened in three weeks. No. No, not a lot. It's been like dramatic, but also nothing's happened.

No, fuck all's happened. How boring. Well, it's just life, isn't it? That's life. That's life. That's what all the people say. I've watched a lot of great shit on the telly. Have you?

Oh, gosh. What are you doing? Ginny and Georgia, have you done that? You haven't even on the telly. Have you? Oh, gosh. What are you doing? Ginny and Georgia, have you done it? You haven't even watched one or two, have you? Please, can you just get a Netflix account? Ginny and Georgia, Emily in Paris. And what was someone else saying to me the other day? Gilmore Girls, go back and do that.

Oh, I've never done the Gilmore Girls, but you need to do Four Horses, but that's on Apple TV. Slow Horses. Did you do that one? No. That's a fucking great one. New film on Netflix called Straw as well. Cried Like a Bitch. I don't have time to watch anything that's a fucking great one. New film on Netflix called Straw as well, Cried Like a Bitch.

I don't have time to watch anything that's not Love is Blind. If you cut that out of your life, you've got loads of time. This is the irony. I'm like, I don't have time to sit down and watch like a film, but I do have time for 45 hours of Love is Blind. Yeah, that's a load of tosh, isn't it? Come on. Well, it's not, it's great, but you could use your brain power. So much better. I know. I know I could. You're missing out. But do I want to? No. Stefan's like this is killing your brain cells and I'm like that's what I need at the end of the day. I want something that's going to kill my brain cells. I've been thinking about things all day. But that and I'm the complete opposite because I've killed my brain

cells all day like I haven't really done much. I'm listening to Miss Rachel. I'm baby bumming it up with the shapes. I don't think you should say bumming it up. Bumming it up? Bumming it down? Bumming it all around? What are we bumming? Who's bumming? What's wrong with bumming?

You know like your... Baby bum? But yeah, bumming it, like slumming it. Sure. Sure. With the little baby bum. The show's called Little Baby Bum. Yes, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tw the little baby bum. The show's called little baby bum. Yes, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Twinkle, twinkle. Miss Rachel, honestly, I see her and Renly just gets so excited. He's like this at the telly. Love Miss Rachel, but I can't. Waving. I love her dearly. We don't do Miss Rachel. What I need to know is Miss Rachel out of hours. Is she like that out of hours? Do you follow her on Instagram?

No. She's actually quite normal and nice. But her show is obviously intended for preschoolers, so obviously it's annoying. Is she like that out of hours? Do you follow her on Instagram? No. She's actually quite normal and nice. Oh. But her show is obviously intended for like preschoolers. So obviously it's annoying. Course. I can't do it. I don't know.

Well, Renly loves her very much. They all do. Yeah. That's why she's so successful. I mean, fair play to her for making a career out of that. Fuck, what a ledge. He does dip over into Blippi. That's a bit far for me.

No. I don't. I love you dearly Blippi and I'm phenomen bit far for me. No. I don't, I love you dearly Blippi, and I'm phenomenally overwhelmed by your phenomenon. Really, we're not doing Blippi, Bing, Tumble, no. No, I'm not a Tumble fan. I don't think I'm a Mr. Tumble fan. We're Bluey, Dougie. I don't really do Bluey.

Do you know what, everyone told me how great Bluey was, and it's a bit like Pepper. Pepper is a naughty pig. Yeah. Yeah. The dogs are nice though, Bluey and Bingo. Are they? Yeah. She can be a little bit bossy, are nice though, Bluey and Bingo. Are they? She can be a little bit bossy, can't she, Bluey?

Not as bad as Pepper. This is our fucking life. We're about to turn 37 and we're questioning a blue dog and a small pig. People in the room that haven't got kids are like, what the fuck? Fucking sign up to this podcast because really, it's what's happening. I've watched a lot of, when I say not only my own TV, baby TV. Yeah, a lot of shit. Yeah, a lot of shit. And it's Miss Rachel on Just Repeat.

I actually watched an episode of Bluey after the kids went to bed the other week because Stefan was like, I watched his episode with Sadie earlier and he was like, and it's really emotional. You have to watch it. So I actually spent like seven minutes of my life just watching Bluey without the kids. It is a really emotional episode though. It's the one where Bingo has the dream where she goes into space and she loses her teddy. Have you seen that? No. Watch it. I think it's called space. It's very emotional. I don't understand though, because she can't go to space.

In her dream. Oh, and she lost her teddy. Yeah, in her dream. And why did she cry? It's just... You've got to watch it. Okay. Yeah. Okay. It's nice. Like that is, isn't Bluey based on the, uh, like real, not real life, but what's it based on?

I feel like someone's space said it's trying to put normalize real things that happen in children's development. Oh, right. Is that what it's about? Yeah. That would make sense. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, go and watch it. It's, um, otherwise pepper's just out. Otherwise Pepper's just out, isn't she? Just giving, has her sister been born yet? Evie, yeah. Did you see their announcement at the Battersea? So, it's so mental. They had a gender reveal at Battersea. Didn't she have the baby where the queen?

They announced it like they announced a royal birth. She gave birth at the same hospital. Same hospital as Kate Middleton. They had the town crier announcing it. They had the easel out announcing the birth of Evie Pig. I don't understand. It's just, that's when I think these things have gone too far. Okay. It's a cartoon pig. Yeah. Why was she in a hospital and not in a veterinarian practice?

Because they're human pigs. I don't think they're human pigs. Yeah, so that's where my life's at at the moment. I do you know what? The only thing in the world I love, I love Peppa Pig world with my whole entire heart. It has my everything. Yeah, I will say before we slag off Peppa too much.

It's just that one naughty pig. Yeah. George is cute. Yeah. Well, he's always crying. Yeah. Why is he not? Joseph goes to me, he even says George is always crying when he watches it.

But no, Peppa Pig world high up on my list because you are its number one fan. Oh, you cannot take that from me. It's an absolute joy to my heart. We're going to go aren't we? We're going to have a family trip. I love it that it's on our doorstep as well. Do you know what I love the most as well is when I go down there and people go, where have you traveled from? I'm like, oh, Southampton. Yeah, yeah. And they go, fuck, we've traveled eight hours to be at eight, eight hours. Have you had a good day? Was it worth it? That'll be me and Stefan.

I mean, summer down for a couple of days. Knowing London traffic. It's going to have to be an overnighter. You would have to overnight it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You would have to overnight it. But that's life where I'm at right now. Yeah. Sounds good, doesn't it? Sounds exciting.

Not really. Not really. Anyway, how the bloody hell are you? Well, it's been weird. You were in it the other day without me. It was really weird. She. Anyway, how the bloody hell are you? Have you missed me? Well, I have. It's been weird. You were in it the other day without me. It was really weird. She's going, I have.

Zoffia can testify how weird this was. I had to record an episode. Zoffia's laughing here. It wasn't a full episode. I wasn't like talking to the wall. I did listen, the daddy episode. It was the highlights episode. Daddy. Daddy.

Where the fuck did daddy? Happy daddy's day. Happy daddy's day. It was the father's day episode. It was like a compilation. You know, highlights, real clips. Yeah. I was just introducing the clips, but it was really weird talking and not having you opposite

me. It felt so strange. Is it weird that I was waiting to hear myself? Yeah. Even though I hadn't recorded. And you knew you weren't on it, but yeah, yeah, still. You weren't still in it quite a lot because they were old clips, but yeah, very weird, like not seeing you every week.

It's been three weeks. Three whole weeks. That we've been out of each other's lives. Never again. And yeah, let's never let that happen again. Never. Very strange. Very strange.

I'm going to look after myself a bit more. Yeah. Yeah. Take a break, but not a break from the podcast. Take a break from social media, Savina, but actually be here. I've just come back from four days away from my job. What the fuck was that all about? Yeah, you think this is strange, don't you?

Listen, right, you know me, I'm not one to judge or anything, but Emma does the wildest things in the world. One being that she talks to her ex-boyfriend. She's been married for years, over a decade to Stefan, you've been together. Yeah, not married. Not married, no, but over a decade you've been together. 18 years. Two children, nearly two decades. Yeah.

Fucking me. And she still speaks to her ex-boyfriend, goes for lunch with him, snaps him, so she doesn't Snapchat, but it's mental. So wait till you hear this. So I went on a hen-do, not with people I don't know, but I was telling you earlier with people I haven't seen for a few years. Well, Safina was like, you went on a hen hen do with people that haven't even met your children. They haven't met Sadie.

The hen has met Joseph, but not Sadie. So I haven't seen her in three years, the hen. So it was like that. I'm just so the food. I think it's maybe because I'm not a uni gal. This is it. I feel like it's a uni gal thing. I feel like some people might relate.

So there's like the five, five or six girls who were on my uni course. Yes. And so obviously I've been friends with them for like 18, 19 years. Yeah, 19 years nearly. So we've been in each other's lives for a long time, but I just don't see them all the time. They all live in... But how long are you communicating with them?

We're all... Once a day? No, no, no, not that often, but we're on like text and Instagram and whatever. And I feel like I know what's going on in their lives because of social media and we message, especially me and the hen. So she was like, do you want to come on my hen do it? All the people organizing it were like, do you want to come on the hen do in Nice in the south of France for four days in June? I was like, I absolutely do. Yes, please. Even though you've not met my daughter, but please let me go.

Even though I hadn't seen them all for years. I hadn't seen some of them since like pre-pandemic or spoken to them for like six or seven years. Six or seven years! They were all flying from Bristol. I was the only one flying from London on my own. Just went flew out. So you not even text them for six or seven years? No, we would have messaged.

We would have messaged, but I hadn't seen them. Six or seven years. And I was like, well, that sounds like fun. Why not? And I'm glad I did it. Because do you know what? It was a bloody delight. It was really, really fun.

You say it was a delight, Emma, but actually let's be really, really honest as to how cray cray your weekend was, shall we? I can't say too much. We've got new aliases or no names. Yeah, I can't say too much because... Shout out to Rach, though. Some of them. Yeah, Rachel. Rachel. She was a girl on the hen. Yeah, I can't say too much because... Shout out to Rach though. Some of them, yeah, Rachel.

Rachel. She was a girl on the hen do that I hadn't met before. Big fan of the pod. She was an OG, she's an OG poddy. Yeah, she was like, Welcome Rachel. She was like, I recognized you when you walked in. I didn't know where from.

And then she was like, ah. I would have closed my eyes. She's actually an original follower of yours from back in the TikTok days. Stop it. I wonder if she was waiting to see if I come in. And then, oh fuck, she's not here. She's not here.

We don't go everywhere together. Oh God, don't make her laugh. She's gone. I'm so sorry. But no, all jokes aside, it was lovely to do something for myself and not see my kids for four days. It really was nice. There was people snogging people.

The bitches were grey. The bitches? Can we call them bitches? The bitches? I think they'd be flattered by that. Hose were wild. They were wild. Honestly, it made me realise, I can't keep up. I'm very down with my boring life. My life is very, can we say vanilla? Yeah. It's very,

But you're happy. It's very basic. We're happy with our boring lives. But every now and then it's nice to step outside of that and be like, okay, I'm someone that now goes to a beach club in Nice and drinks rose. And watches women snog. And watches people snogging.

Someone had itchy legs, didn't they? They did. What? This is wild. I'm living vicariously through them. I. What? This is wild. I'm living vicariously through them. I was like you know what I'm living vicariously through you who's living through them. Exactly it's like third hand. Yeah third hand embarrassment. No I'm just saying how you do it. All jokes aside they stayed out until six. Some of them stayed out until eight o'clock in the morning. In the morning! What? I know. Were you drinking all day? They were. They can put it away. Wow.

God, these girls. Or get it out. Honestly. In their case. They put it away and then they get it out. No. I couldn't keep up. I was quite sensible because I didn't want to... I'm in awe of party people. I'm not going to lie to you because I was a real party goer. But now the thought of it actually gives me the willies. Do you know what? For me, it's the fear of having a hangover. Yes. And I thought, I'm in awe of party people. I'm not gonna lie to you, because I was a real party goer. But now the thought of it actually gives me the willies. You know what, for me it's the fear of having a hangover. And I thought I'm here with an opportunity to have some good sleep.

So I'm not gonna sabotage that. Or it's the, I'm gonna get those eight hours in. I'm gonna get those some days, nine or 10. Oh, go on girl. Honestly, stunning. I did feel good. I felt like a new- Do you feel relaxed?

I felt like a new woman. I mean, not really relaxed, because it was like quite like go, go, go hardcore. Like get up, let's do paddle boarding, let's go to the beach club, let's drink all day, let's go out for dinner, let's go to the club. Let's flash our minge. Honestly, it was a lot, but I'm glad, I am glad I did it. Tell you what though, the logistics of making it work were a fucking nightmare.

I had to drive the children to West Wales where Stefan's parents live because they were going to be looking after them. Oh gosh, to drop the babies off. On my own. I actually had anxiety about it. Like I knew it was coming up and I was like dreading it and fearing it for so long. I knew that last Wednesday night,

I had to get the babies in the car after nursery, get them ready for bed, put them in their car seats and just hope to God that they slept for the next five hours while I was driving. Oh Emma. Because Stefan was already in Wales working. Got you. So I had to get them there on my own. I was actually really fucking proud of myself.

I'm really fucking proud of you. You're just smashing it out of the park, aren't you? Honestly, when you do, I was like, I don't know how I'm going to do this. And then when I did it, I was like, what a sense of achievement. Got them there safely. They were angels.

They slept in the car. It was fine. And then loaded them off of Stefan's parents. Stefan turned up for the weekend, looked after them all weekend. I was in France with no worries. They were having a great time with their cousins. Didn't even ask me, didn't even miss me. I asked Stefan like, are they asking for me? Are they missing me? And he was like, not going to lie. They've not been annihilated that you've been gone, which is what you want to hear really. Because I didn't want them to be missing me. You don't want them stressed. Also a little part of my heart did die.

Oh, I'm sorry. They don't need me anymore. It really is out of sight, out of mind. Like when I'm there, they're obsessed with me. But then that's, you need that. You don't want them stressed. You do need that break. And actually I found it hard,

immediately after I'd left them, I did find it hard. Like when I was at the airport on the way out and I saw people traveling with small children and families, I was getting like a little bit choked up. Shit, you all right? I know. Did you, had you been drinking at that point? No.

The emotional alcohol? No, just the coffee. Oh gosh. But I think as much as I'm like, oh my God, what a delight to like travel on my own and not be responsible for a child and all the stress that comes with like, I was so in the zone of like traveling with kids. I was at Gatwick airport about two and a half hours early because everything takes so long with kids. kids. And then when I just breezed through with my hand luggage, it was like solo traveler. I was like, is that it? I've got ages.

Where is the drama? Yeah. I was like, I've got loads of time to kill now. And I've just got to sit here quietly and cry about other people with their children. But I was a little bit emotional about it at first. And then I was like, it's actually remarkable how quickly you forget about them. That's so quick how you actually just get over it. Honestly, I got on the plane, I had a beer and I was like well on my way. Oh, God bless you. I had a lovely time. That's so good though. I did. I seriously, I switched off for like three full days. It was really, really nice. Just not having to worry about anyone else, like being spontaneous.

I think it actually is so good for your mind. We just don't do it enough. And you can't do it at home because you're always responsible for someone. And I knew they were having a great time and they were safe and they were being looked after. And it was actually really, it was really nice. Good. And it was nice being reunited with them as well because I feel like they then appreciated me a bit more. When they saw me, they really were like, mommy! And that's lovely as well. And then after five minutes, they totally did that shit.

I was going to say that, mommy,. Yeah. Anywho, Peppers on. I was like kissing Joseph all over his face being like, Oh, gravity. They've got no concept of time though, have they? No, I said, did you miss me? And he was like, no. Oh, he didn't. They weren't even like, where have you been? I wouldn't have asked Joseph. I would have asked Sadie. Yeah. She can't answer. Yeah. She did look at me. She does that thing when she hasn't seen me for a while,

where she looks at me for ages and really takes me in. Like she's just remembering me. Are you? Yeah, it's almost like I'm like a mirage. Is that her? She looks at me for ages to suss it out and go, where have you been? What the fuck? You look familiar.

Don't fucking walk back in here and think you can just get me back in. Yeah, just get back to normal. Yeah, carry on. Yeah. You don't just leave me for four days. You're just gonna fucking ignore the fact you've been away for four days. Yeah, silly bitch. Yeah.

Okay, well maybe I'll give you a quick hug, but I don't want to show you too much love. Yeah. She did. She did a quick token, like nibble on my boobs because I didn't know whether she was still going to be into the breastfeeding. What were you doing while you were away? I did pump and dump. Yeah. But now because it's so infrequent, the feeding, I didn't get much out. So I did one pump and dump. And then the rest of the time it was enough to kind of just squeeze them out in the shower, stop them getting like hard and engorged, but not much is coming out these days. And I did worry that I was going to lose it. She's over it. But when I saw her again, she did do a little, little something, but...

Maybe she was just checking if it was you. Milk is still coming out, but I really don't think she's taking much, much from it. So I did think maybe this is the natural end of the journey. Oh, which has been a wonderful journey. Yeah. And I would be sad about it, but I'm also okay about it now. She's 15 months and she's got sharp little gnashes. She has got sharp little gnashes.

So I thought I'd probably be all right with it, but I was a bit worried about that. But yeah, she just kind of like did it for a bit. And then she's obviously been used to having a bottle. So I think she might've just moved on. Moved on, she's over it. Maybe because you left her. And I, I think she's like-

She's doing a boo protest. Yeah, I'll pay you back. I'm on strike. Yeah, now I see how you like it. I'm on baby strike. She's doing a boo protest. Yeah, I'll pay you back. I'm on strike. Yeah. Now I see how you like it. I'm on baby strike. You took your tits away. Yeah.

I'm taking my eating away of your nipple. I cannot tell you how much of a joy this is to be back. Well, it's a joy to have you here. Thank you. In my studio. Welcome back to my studio. Welcome back to my show. Who's face is on the door?

Although you still have an argument with me today about when she's getting the artwork changed. I said, I'm going to do this picture just with you really small. It's coming soon, but I'll be a tiny thumbnail. Watch this space. Watch this space. See if you can spot it. It'll be like a magic eye.

Oh, where's Wally? Where's Emma? She's not really on the episodes. See if you can spot it. It'll be like a magic eye. Oh, where's Wally? You have to squint. Where's Emma? Squint to see it. She's not really on the episodes. If you can see it, you're special. So Emma and I really want to hear from you.

We want you to join us in the Secret Mom Club. You're all welcome. You can share your secrets with us, respond to what we've been talking about or just say, Hello. You can find us on TikTok and Instagram. Just search Secret Momumpod or you can email us hello at secretmumpod.com Visa Direct. Collect, hold, convert and send payments between more than 195 countries, 160 currencies and over 11 billion cards, accounts and wallets effortlessly and securely. Move money your way. Learn more at visa.com slash visa direct. Visa Direct. It's time for the, I always say for another and it's not, it's the every week. It's time for the correspondence corner.

Wonders for my throat. Take it away. This one says, Hey ladies, I've followed the pod since day one and haven't missed an episode. First time writing in and it's because I was suddenly transported back to year five me while listening to the spiky surprise episode. My mom actually taught me for a whole year in primary school, which is a whole other story. Wow.

What was your worst nightmare if your mom was the teacher or your dad? Do you know what? I literally got offered to volunteer at school the other day and I said to Colby, oh, this would be really nice for me to do. I was feeling a little bit better. We can go out for a stroll. And I said to him, I volunteered to do the walk from school to the swimming pool. And he went, no, no, no, you haven't have you? You're, you're joking. I was like, uh, uh, yep. No. Yeah. I used to let my mom and dad come in on the school trips though and be in the health. No, they don't want me. No. Yeah. I used to like my mom and dad coming on the school trips though and being the healthiest. No, they don't want me. No. No.

But. But. But during that year, she also had to teach the class sex ed. Without warning, there I am watching my mom stood on a table, knickers around her ankles, demonstrating how to use a sanitary pad. Oh, sorry, her own knickers. I ankles, demonstrating how to use a sanitary pad. Oh, sorry, her own knickers. I hope she had another pair. Or a demo pair. I hope she had another pair on. Bloody hell. Why didn't she just hold the knickers up in the air rather than have them round her ankles? Yes, a bit much, innit? I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. The embarrassment still lives with me to this day. Now I can laugh and I love that she made what

can be such a taboo topic feel normal and casual. It's so important. So important. Still loving the pod. I'm in the two under two club and frankly winging it, but you two help me through every week. Anonymous. Oh, God bless you. Oh, anonymous. I would have died. Still loving the pod and I'm in the two under two club. Two under two respect. Yeah. I'd slightly would love to know why your mom felt the need to have her own knickers around her ankles. Yeah. I hope they weren't the knickers that she was wearing that day. I mean, I hope she had something else on and I hope she didn't have a short. Like a demo pair of knickers. And also why didn't she just hold the pants? And demonstrate it like that. Yeah.

Maybe they're year five though, so maybe it was easier for her to actually do it. Do you think we could demo? I have to demo, I have to do it round a thong sometimes. Oh, do you? Wrap it round a thong? I used to cut mine, my like panty liners, to the shape of my thong so that they wouldn't stick out. Now they come that shape don't they? They come that shape now. But I get it folded over and then I get the wings around. Just fold it around. I've got a really really wide set vagina and a deep heavy flow. Can't help it I've got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina. I need to basically have a big pad. Big fat pad yeah. I have a night pad during the day. Night uh pregnancy pad? No. Not that big. Not that thick.

Fucking hell. Can you imagine the chafing on there as well? That makes you hot in your pants. You wouldn't be able to wrap that around. That's like a nappy. Wow. They're so thick, aren't they? No one warned you about them as well. And you walk out, don't you? And it sticks to all your pubes. You're like this. You're walking out of the hospital, not only is your vagina falling out, you've got this massive lilo between your legs that's sticking to pubes and you're like, you know, the sexy dad walk out the hospital, what we need to

be recording is these mommas getting out. Because it's not necessarily the pain of your foo foo, it's actually catching the pubes. First few nights in bed postpartum amongst the worst in your life, I reckon. Yeah, it's a wild experience. The blood, the sweat, the pads, the nipples. Yeah, the overheating, the nipples. Yeah, the pub The blood, the sweat, the pads, the nipples. The overheating, the nipples. Yeah, the pubes stuck to the pad because the pads are basically as sticky as, you know when them fly catchers or the flies go into it.

That sounds like a wax strip. You take it off and your pubes are still attached to it, aren't they? Gosh, too much. Well, we appreciate you anonymous. Thank you for being here for so long as well. Yes. And I hope you're loving the Two Under Two Club. And we're all just fucking winging it. I don't know if anybody is loving the two under two club. I think we're going to be winging it until we're 25.

They're 25 not us. That first bit honestly, it's no joke. I look back on it now. I think I've actually got trauma. So hard. What the first day? I barely had two under two. Mine were two. It was two when I had Sadie. Yeah. Mine, weren't we? Yeah, two and one month. Love that though. But bloody hell. Go on, anonymous. Go on, Gil. So you can get in touch with us on anything at all. Yeah, it can be serious or silly and you can be totally anonymous.

Because between us, we've probably heard it all before. And remember, we're all in this together and we know that we are, we're all stars and we see that- T-Rex arms are back. T-Rex? What was that all about? I're all stars and we see that. T-Rex arms are back. T-Rex, what was that all about? I don't know why I did that. I feel like that will haunt me forever. Right, here's my secret of the week.

Obviously I've not been doing much and not much has been happening. And there has been some funny shit, but you know when you just can't think of the funny shit that's happened. Because it's happening on the daily. Because it's happening on the daily. Do you know what, there was a point where I actually, because obviously this started with sickness and diarrhea

or shitting out all my organs, right? And then it transpired that I got better, but then I got this awful cough cold that then turned into an infection as to what's going on. So I've gone through every stage of sickness that you could possibly get. So at one point I woke up and I was felt so sick I had hardly had anything. I thought, you know what, I'm going to go to the shop and treat myself to a nice bottle of Lucas aid. Because growing up everyone said Lucas aid.

I think you said bottle of wine. No, it was it was 530 in the morning. Okay. Yeah. So I woke up in the middle of the night and I thought I'll just sit here. Not middle of the night in the morning, but I thought I'll just sit, I'll wait till the shop opens and I'll creep out, go up there. So I got like five to six, I thought, oh, it's going to be open at six a.m. I'm going to get going and get up there. So got in the car in my pajamas, in my dressing, no, don't think I even have my dressing gown on.

I had a crop top jumper and my pajama bottoms and I just put my little slidey shoes on. So I went up to the shop, pitch black. Was it dark? No, I think it was light. Yeah, no, it gets light really early. Yeah, I was trying to think then was it dark? That would have helped this situation. No, it wouldn't have helped the situation. It would have just made the situation seem so much more fucking logical. But I got out of the car, went into the shop and you know when you think something's following me here, I can smell something. I carried on around the shop and I thought bloody hell the floor is so slippery. Anywho, was chatting to the lady behind the till, thought nothing of it, went back to my car and went oh gosh, someone's

had a bad day, they've trod in a massive lump of dog shit. That someone. That someone was me, dickhead. Not only had I trod in the dog shit, I'd walked the dog shit all around the shop. And not only was the dog shit on my shoe, the dog shit was up my ankles. So I had to, at 6.15 approximately, approximately in the one stop car park, take not only my trousers off, but my shoes off, put them into the bin and drive home fucking sick with a bottle of leukazade in my fucking pants and no shoes. I walked through the front door to Chris literally like, the fuck are you doing? This can look odd. She's really lost her mind now.

This is, this is, this can look really, really odd. So yeah. Where did it come from? But some dog had just shit in the middle of the car park and I pulled in to the car park next to the shit, got out of the car and my delirious state is the fact that I was so fucking ill, hadn't left the house already for nine days. But I thought I'd just treat myself to a little trip to the shop before anyone woke up. Did you alert anyone to it in the shop or did you just get out of there? Yeah, I said to the woman while I was taking my pants and shoes off,

I think I've walked shit in the shop. I think I've just walked shit and I burst out crying. She was like, don't worry about it. Just get home, just get home. She probably thought this woman's insane. Yeah, or thought, bloody shit bitch, just walks shit around the shop. No, but now she's crying and taking her pants off in my shop.

Yeah, in the car park, wild covered in shit. You just get yourself home, love. You know when you just think, why, of all times that I just need someone to be on my side. Yeah. No. Makes you think, why do I bother living in the house? I never went out for another 12 days.

No, I wouldn't. I'd be scarred by that experience. It's a lot of poo. Why'd you bother? I don't know. Was the LucasAid worth it? No, it fucking made me vomit. I got it, I took one sip, bought cherry LucasAid, never mind that again, fucking got home, took one sip, vomited in the toilet, put my pajamas, put some clean pajamas on and got straight back in bed.

No, didn't even take a bath. I was that fucking traumatized. I didn't even know if there was any shit on me. I got baby wipes in the car, so that helped the situation. Oh, God. Bid me shoes when he had them a fucking couple of weeks. Sometimes you think the universe is just conspiring against you. It was against me. So there you go. I wore dog shit around the shop. Around the one-stop shop.

I got naked in the car park at 6am. If you saw me, mind your business. If you saw me, no, you didn't. No, you didn't. It wasn't me. It really wasn't me. Well, that's my secret. We'll get into some of yours after this short break. If you're in business, you'd expect money movement to be easy. And it is with Visa Direct. Collect, hold, convert, and send payments between more than 195 countries, 160 currencies,

and over 11 billion cards, accounts, and wallets, effortlessly and securely. Move money your way. Learn more at visa.com slash Visa Direct. Learn more at visa.com slash visa direct We have three secrets from you we're gonna be discussing this week's Emma Would you like to take it away with secret number one? I'd love to please hello lovely game show host then You know who's behind door number one? Take you over number one. Yes.

I found the podcast back in October while I was seven months pregnant with my rainbow baby and honestly it was the best discovery. As the eldest of four I thought I knew what to expect with kids but having one of my own is a whole new ball game. Your tips and tricks have helped loads. My little boy is now almost five months old and I've been told to start weaning him at around 23 weeks but I haven't a clue where to start. He's breastfed with no real routine. Some days he feeds every two hours, others it's every 45 minutes. So how do I even know when to offer him food? I've made some purees but I don't know what variety to give him. I've heard not to give sweet foods early on but then I'm worried he'll reject other flavors later. I've got a million questions but any tips on how to get going would

be amazing. Here's a pic of my cheeky baby bird too. Lots of love, Jessica and baby Robert. Oh my God, Robert. Baby Bobby. I wonder if she calls him a Bobby. I wonder if she calls him a Bob. Oh Bob, baby Bob. Oh my gosh, how adorable.

This is actually a minefield, this question, Jessica. So I'm really glad you've brought it up because it is fucking mental weaning. And I don't, you know, do I think anybody's right? No. But you can. How I started it is I always found starting with breakfast was the best option for me. And I only changed one meal a day. Yeah. So I only start not sorry, not even a meal. I started weaning in the morning because I always felt if it gives them a bit

of a funny tummy or it's harder on their digestive system, by the time bedtime comes, if you've given them some veg and it goes through them a bit quick, it's not gonna upset them at bedtime. Did you do the same? Started with one meal a day, definitely. Definitely, and I always found morning was always better for hours.

Yeah, I can't remember if I maybe did lunchtime because they would have had, like she would have had a morning feed, then we'd do something maybe around like 11-ish, lunchtime maybe, and then just feed for the rest of the day. But I didn't really do a schedule in terms of like stopping feeding her. I think I'd still breastfed on demand.

And then you're just trying, because at the beginning, what do they say? Under one is just for fun. Under one is just for fun. It's not really about like filling them up on nutrition or anything like that. It's just basically giving them, getting them used to the flavors and testing what they like.

Yes. People do say start with the bitter flavors first because they'll get a taste of the sweet thing, which I did not do. I basically started purely on sweet potato just because I knew they were going to like it. Sweet potato, banana and pureed carrots were probably my top three,

which are all very sweet things, aren't they? So I did a lot, but then I added like a banana to like spinach and then I would do spinach, banana, kale, courgette, but I do all the greens. So dry loot the greens a bit with a banana. I would do the greens with the banana just to take that bitterness away. But not that you can taste that it's sweet.

Yeah, that's a good idea. Cause I didn't do like spinach, kale, all those ones that people say you should try. Cause I was like, I did all the greens first. I thought the greens, that is that probably is what you should do. Avocado, you can, instead of using a banana, you can use an avocado for a bit of sweetness in the green. Avocado mixed with banana is a good one as well.

It's so good. Yeah, I didn't find it a problem really getting them onto the sweet stuff straight away. I don't know how much there is in that. No, but then you obviously have to remember, I think Jessica said he's exclusively breast, is he? Yeah, he's breastfed. And breast milk is very sweet. It is, yes.

So to try and transition him to quite bitter vegetables, maybe a little bit harder. So he may just cope better with things that are a little bit sweet, not too sweet, and then wean that down. But yeah, I always find that under one is just fun, although Colby had to be weaned and before he even turned one, he didn't have any milk.

So I think the journey is different. Yeah, yes, the journey for us has been different. But yeah, I always started with breakfast and I would always do the morning routine and then, so the normal morning bottle and then I'd have like a late morning snack. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. And then when we moved over to lunchtime, we'd have bottle, late morning snack and then early lunch, but then the milk would be lunch. Yeah. So I do, you'll find a way that works best for you. But sometimes

I just think just even at 10 o'clock in the morning, just have a little bit of play around with some food, a little bit of fun play on his tray. The weather's beautiful at the moment to get them out. Obviously as well, I did a lot of things like textury food. So I would do broccoli really, really, really, really soft for them to play with. But while having a puree. Yeah. So that they can carrot enough that you put it in their mouth and it just smushes. So they can feel it. So I definitely make it all about fun. Yeah. Yeah. And follow, follow the lead of your little man. I know everyone says that, but it definitely is a case of, yeah, definitely don't stress about it. Like people. It's meant

to be the most funnest process. Like you're living as well and you're living now by watching your baby do this. Yeah. It's such an incredibly fun time. It's only five months. So like when people, I feel like there's a lot of pressure around like, oh, my baby's tried this already, or they took loads of this or whatever. It doesn't really matter. And let's be honest, I now have a beige baby because he doesn't eat any fucking vegetables.

He lives off fish fingers and waffles. So it doesn't matter what you do anyway. It doesn't matter what you fucking do anyway, because they will find what works best for them. I've got Colby that will just eat literally anything like from sushi to mussels to snails to prawn linguine, smoked salmon. He eats the craziest amount of food and I've got Renly and Dottie will just eat a fish ring with a waffle. You might be able to push them on a pea. But that's about it. Maybe one pea.

So just enjoy the process, have fun with it. It's about you both having fun together, exploring together. And yeah, don't stress. I will say, Just about anybody else. Try and get the nuts in there. We did nuts early doors. Yes.

So like you can lick a bit of peanut butter off a spoon or cashew nut or almond butter or any of those. I did that with toast. So I did peanut butter on toast spoon or cashew nut or almond butter or any of those. I did that with toast. So I did peanut butter on toast for them again to, I just did the fours because it goes smushy, doesn't it, bread? I just did it really lightly toasted with a bit of peanut butter on there.

Things that are mushy. Yeah, just so they get used to the allergens. Yes, or you know early doors so that you would know early doors, yeah. Because there's a lot of things that do contain nuts. Yeah, that's true. And then there's other allergens like soya, egg. Of course. Oh, because there's a lot of things that do contain nuts. Yeah, that's true. And then there's other allergens like soya, egg. Of course.

Oh, can't remember the rest of them, but yeah, sesame. So you can try like a tahini. But key as well, sorry, this is a lot of information, Jessica, sorry. Do I did find keeping a track of what we had? Of what you've tried. Yes, of the food that we tried. I think you can download little charts

or get them from online or something like that. But they do tell you to stick to one food or one, what you're doing for a week. Just so you know, if they do have a reaction, you know what to track it back to. Sorry, that's a lot. We're telling you it's really easy and it's a lovely process and here we are. Complicating it. Just make a week's batch of purees and just stick to one thing for a week. Yeah. And then yeah, for go from there. Get an ice cube tray so you don't have to keep doing it. Okay, that's the last thing. Sorry, that's, yeah. You probably know that already, Jessica. So sorry. But thank you for messaging and thank you for being here and congratulations on baby Robert. He is beautiful. He is beautiful. Okay, let's have secret number two. Okay, this one says,

Hi, I've got one child almost 11 months old and they've got a few older cousins. Most of the time it's fine, but one cousin in particular who's nearly three has been quite rough with my child on multiple occasions. It started when my baby was just six weeks old. This cousin ran at them with a horse poo rake and hit them on the head. What's a horse poo rake?

I guess for a rake that rakes poo, horse poo. Like a small rake. Down there maybe like if you're at like a horse, what are they, stables? Yeah, like a, yeah. Right. Aren't they big, a horse poo rake? I don't know. And hit them on the head.

Wow. Since then, there have been more incidents dropping them on the floor, oh no, covering their head with a blanket, clapping aggressively either side of their face, grabbing and dropping them while crawling. Oh no, this is really sad. It got to the point where my baby was reaching out for me constantly, clearly scared. Their mum took them away and told them off gently, but then said she'd put Peppa Pig

on for them, which felt more like a reward than a consequence. A week later I got a message from my partner's sister, half apologising but also justifying the behaviour, saying her second child was like this when her third arrived. I replied explaining how it made me feel, how it made us anxious as parents and listed the things that had happened. I've had no response since. Then when dropping my baby off with my partner's mom, she made a comment like,

"'Well, they've got to learn to stick up for themselves,' which felt completely off. I don't think an 11 month old should be expected to stand up to a rough three year old. Am I overthinking this or would you feel the same?' Anonymous." I don't think you're overthinking it. I think that sounds quite bad. I yeah, it's hard, isn't it? Because there can be a lot of factors in it. And we can

only take from it obviously what anonymous is telling us. But putting myself into this is hard, I think because my sister is the only one I can relate to in this situation because she is my sister who has four children. And then she had her four before I had my three. So my hers were there before mine. So I would feel like I'm in the situation as anonymous because it would have my cousins. Yes. but obviously I'm taking from this that it's her partner's sister, which again, in itself is a way, way harder. Obviously this would be- If it was your sister, you would maybe be able

to have the conversation a bit more easily. This would be me with my brother's wife, if they had a baby in this situation. So yeah, that is a difficult one. I don't like that you've been discredited from this situation. You've tried to reach out and you've tried to say it. And I feel a little bit sad that it's been played down a little bit.

Yeah. Yeah. You're clearly worried about your child. Yes. And I'm not too happy with the comments. But I think it's hard because again, it's not your direct mum or your direct sibling. So I think that's the hardest one. I don't think you're overreacting at all. No. But put myself in this situation, how would I handle it? Not let them see them?

I would take them. Yeah, I would not have put my baby in that situation, but I obviously don't know at this stage, you're the parenting dynamic. It's hard though, isn't it? I don't want to make a selfish opinion because I don't want to make a selfish opinion because I don't know enough about it. But if I'm taken from this, I one would not be happy. You are

entitled to be angry. You've put your point across and you've made it very, very clear. And then to have some dickish comment made at you, it's quite dismissive. It's really dismissive. I wonder what the partner thing. Yes, that was going to be my next thing is that I would. Whether they could have a word and be like, look, we just don't really feel comfortable bringing the baby around. Yes. Because also I get like they probably want them to hang out with their cousins and like have a relationship with them.

She's also dropping her baby off there. So she's dropping them off there. Well, with the grandmother. Yeah, but she's not there to supervise her. No, but the cousins necessarily aren't gonna be there, but maybe my fear would be, oh, dropping you off with the grandmother to look after you and the cousins might pop around

and this is all happening when you're not there and it's not on your watch. So who made the comment? The partner's mom or the sister? Then the partner's mom, but I'm just saying like there might be a scenario where- So no, this is what I'm saying then. So, okay, sorry.

You drop them off and the cousins come over. I'm getting confused because I thought she was dropping them off to the partner's house and the sister of the three year old had made a comment, but it's not. It's the partner's mum. So it means that they've been talking about it. Yeah, or they just they they're on the same page. The partner's mum and the partner's sister. Yeah.

Oh, that's really sad. But I'd be worried now leaving the baby with the partner's mum. That the cousins were going to be there and be, and it's not on your watch. And no one's taking it seriously. Because something could happen. Something could happen. Something serious could happen. That is, but I think withholding them, that's also going to cause issues because. But out of respect as well, and I have and my sister would do the same,

but for people that aren't my relation, if I've taken Colby or Dottie when they were like two, three years old around a brand new baby, you're so much more aware of how big they are and how clumsy they are and how loud they can be and how they can be a lot when it's someone's first baby. Yeah, a three year old as well. It's a bit of a, oh.

Like a three, Joseph's three. And I could say to him, you need to, I mean, he can be a nightmare with Sadie. But you would take him away, wouldn't you? He does understand to be gentle with a baby and to be nice. And especially if it was someone else's baby or around someone else's house, I would be able to say to him, you can't do that to the baby. And then if somebody had said this to you, that I'm worried that Joseph is just being a bit too rough.

I would definitely, look, we've had it from Anonymous' side and I definitely see her worries, but I think it's really easy for people to side with their kids. It happens at like soft play and stuff all the time or in the park. People will be like, they'll fail to notice that their child is being the aggressive one or I'll be like, oh no, don't you hurt my poor baby. You know, you're always on the side of like your child, aren't you? And the other parent might not see anything wrong with it. I don't know. I think I'm not.

I think I'm always the one that throws my own children. You're apologetic, are you? Always the one that's like, I'm really sorry. What has he done? And then people are like, no, no, my child hurt him. And I'm like, oh, okay, sorry. And then I feel guilty myself because I'm automatically assuming that my own children are bad.

But I'm also the person that will apologize if someone hits me with their trolley. Yeah. You know, I automatically go on the defensive like, oh, I'm really sorry. I mean, I'm constantly telling off other people's kids if they like are aggressive or annoying or whatever in soft play, because I think other parents-

I just don't put myself in soft play because I can't handle the openness. But other parents do fail to see it, I think. No, I do agree. People won't admit that their child is the one that's being an asshole. If I see Joseph being aggressive towards someone, I'm obviously gonna say, no, you can't admit that their child is the one that's being an asshole. If I see Joseph being aggressive towards someone, I'm obviously going to say, no, no, you can't do that. So it's hard when you're, you're trying to say it to someone and they're like, I don't, I don't see anything

wrong. What else can I do then? Apart from not let my baby see you. And that feels aggressive in its own way, passive aggressive. They're going to be like, well, we want to see the baby. Yeah. It's a really hard position. I definitely think that if you haven't done, definitely worse speaking to the partner. Your partner, sorry. Definitely worse speaking to your partner. I'm really speaking about this because for me, if this was something I was holding into myself, I would want Chris to feel really sad if I'd said this to him and feel sad that you haven't told me this and this is going on. I hope if you have told your partner as well,

he's taking it seriously. And that's what basically I was gonna say, if you haven't yet told him, which I would like to at this stage, think that you had spoken to him, but I don't, you know, we can't take on how she's feeling. We don't know in this situation,

but she may be sad to talk about it, but I hope he is on your side. And I think it might be worth him stepping up and saying, look, you've said some dickish things, if it's his mom, you know, just don't make silly comments at the end of the day, that's your baby. It might be worth like a more serious kind of like sit down face to face with your family

and be like, we're not really happy with the situation. And if it can't change or if they are still dismissive, we can't bring the baby around here, sorry. Sad though. It is sad. Probably sad for the little one. But please, please don't if there is something in you that just doesn't feel right, and that you aren't happy with, it doesn't matter. You are within your right to do whatever you feel as long as obviously you're not doing harm. But if you feel that you want to stop going around or have a conversation or send a text or talk about your feelings, you are so entitled to do that.

I don't want anyone to ever sit on that, ever sit on it. Or just accept it. Or just accept it because, oh, you know, well, it's his grandma, no. No, do what you think. You've got to trust your gut. And I think how you're feeling is so valid. So valid.

But please do keep us posted. Yeah. Please do let us know because we don't ever want anyone to ever feel alone in this crazy journey. No. Do we? That's sad. So sad.

Poor baby. Right. Let's have our last secret, Emma. All right. This says, dear Soph and Emma, long time listener, first time storyteller. I've got a classic tale of Toddler Mischief. I was 17, babysitting these two little legends from church, twins called Tom and Toby, about three and a half.

They'd just moved to big boy beds, so bedtime was always going to be unpredictable. Tricky. After bath time and stories, they got into bed like angels. I went downstairs thinking I'd nailed it. Then came the noise. Quiet at first, then louder. Your turn, Toby. No, your turn, Tom.

We need more. I stood at the bottom of the stairs, heart racing, as I heard the baby gate start to rattle. Suddenly, boom, Tom launched himself over the gate with a full on leg up from his tank of a brother, Toby. Tom legged it to the bathroom, turned on the taps, and said the bath had ended too early. When I checked their room,

I found they'd used every teddy, blanket, and a duvet to build a toddler-sized mountain to scale the gate. It was a full-blown escape plan and they'd taken turns. Their mum thought it was genius and loved how inventive they were. Honestly, they were my favourite family to babysit. I've got loads more stories like this. Thanks for all the laughs and chaos you bring. Keep doing what you do. Generally thought it was a baby gate on the top of the stairs. Lucia. Lucia, God bless you, sorry.

My heart was in my ass, my mouth, it was everywhere. The baby gate was on the door. Everywhere, the baby gate's on the bedroom door. I thought it was the bedroom door, the baby gate at the top of the stairs. Fuck, fuck, I just saw a baby, launched himself down the stairs and we were so calm in this story

and the fact that baby's just kamikaze-ing straight over the gate down the stairs What the blinking blazes though? This is absolutely iconic and the fact that they're twin boys as well Yeah, what led just what you would expect? It's what you would expect from two three and a half year old twin boys called Tom and Toby Tom and Toby I would expect yes, they sound mischievous. They just sound phenomenal. They sound like my kind of kids I need to have at parties. Yeah. I love how people take their kids out of a baby bed into a big boy bed. And then the first thing everyone does is put a baby gate on the door. So you're taking them out

of a bed where they can't escape. To gate them back in. So they can't escape. It's a funny one. Do what I do and keep them in a cot for life. Emma's in a cot herself. We're all sleeping cots in my house. Just three. Yeah, in a row. Like the Pontipines in the night garden. Yes, I was about to say like the Pontipines in the night garden. Well, thank you Lucia so much. That's definitely made us laugh a lot. And thank you for being here for so long. Longtime listener, first time storyteller. It's the first for everything, I say. Thank you for sharing your secrets this week. Everyone is welcome in the Secret Mom Club.

And if you'd like to share your secrets with us, you can. The email is hello at secretmompod.com or with Secret Mom Pod on TikTok and Instagram. And don't forget to follow us wherever you get your podcasts. That way you'll never miss an episode. We found that out today. You can follow us on Apple Podcast. Well, we found out we should be telling people to follow us wherever you get your podcast. That way you'll never miss an episode. We found that out today. You can follow us on Apple podcast. Well, we found out we should be telling people. We found out we can tell people, but you can actually follow us.

And then you'll always get alerted to a new episode. So please do follow, hit the follow, follow, follow. Why aren't you doing it already? I asked Emma if she's following us and she said, she is now. I was, I was. Have you experienced a toddler escape? Or do you have a weaning plan you can share? Then let us know. There really is nothing too outrageous. Keep an eye out for our Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club.