Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Little Mother's Day Takeover

Episode Date: March 12, 2026

It's almost Mother's Day, and what could be a better way to spend the day than to give Soph and Emma some much-deserved time off from the mic? Chris, Colby and Dottie bring their own secrets to the studio, plus a few special secrets from your little ones. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wait, hold on. I need your attention because we have some huge news. It's big. Bigger than my bucket crutch. And that's big. Even bigger than Jojo's love for teenage mutant ninja turtles. Well, you've been asking for it, so we're going to be heading back on the stage for another secret mom club live show. There's going to be plenty of secrets. Perhaps a couple of party games.

And maybe a few surprise guests. So mark your calendars because on the 20th of May, we'll be live at Bush Hall in London for one girly night only. So you better buckle up, bitches. Tickets are on sale right now. So head to our socials for more info and the link to buy tickets. We can't wait to see you there. Now, back to the episode. Hello, this is a secret mum club.

I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your special Mother's Day episode. Yes, our big day is just around the corner, so we thought we'd do something special. Sure. So excited. Show a jump on in. Happy birthday, too. I didn't know where we were going with that.

Happy Mother's Sunday. Happy birthday. What are you doing? We don't do anything. I don't do anything. It sounds so rubbish, aren't we? We don't know anything for Valentine's Day. Nothing for Halloween.

Nothing for Mother's Day. Nothing for Father's Day. Pretty much only Easter and Christmas. Christmas and birthdays. Yeah. Quite big on birthdays. Easter Christmas birthdays. I don't even do birthdays.

Yeah, I was going to say. All Christmas for my children. Actually, we don't celebrate anything. No, nothing Mother's Day. I know, I don't either. But I do see my sister and the children normally. Yeah. And we tend to do like family bits.

You and Roxanne celebrate each other as mothers. It's just normally a family day. I know. But I feel like it's the children, isn't it? And Roxanne's are getting so much bigger now. I know. And you feel like in a way, I feel like I'm forcing them into, you know, come and celebrate me. Like I'm a big deal.

Yeah. I mean, we should probably do that. I know. We are a big deal. I'm so happy for everybody else that celebrates it and people that are so into it. I love that. But just for me, I just don't know that I want the attention. Yeah, not the attention.

And I also don't know if I want to give them all the pressure. Yeah. I mean, I still feel like immense pressure to do something for my mum and I'm 37. Yes. And she's 60 something. Yes. But it was like when we were growing up, it was quite. It was quite a big thing that you have to celebrate.

Yeah. We were made. We were made. We made to. Mote to, but it would be that you have to come around. We have to see you. Had to get a present. How to get a card.

Yes. Yes. God forbid we didn't have a card on the morning off. I was about to say it. But that makes me sound like I'm being really mean. But it was. It was a lot of pressure on it. It didn't matter.

And even if we were, you know, as we got older and we were going away with friends or having a weekend away, it was no, you can't. It's Mother's Day. Yeah. It's my weekend. And you're like, oh, right. So I don't want to pass that on to the children. Although, you know, I'm happy doing that, you know, with my mom and I have done all my life. But for the children, like, I want them out seeing the world.

I don't want them to ever have the pressure of being like, oh, it's Mother's Day, I better go back. I think for one day. I think for one day of the year, it's fine. I feel like the off-the-cuff flowers are way more sentimental than the, oh, it's Mother's Day. Don't get me something just because you feel like you have to. Yes. Do you know what I mean? I sound like a right scrooge, don't I.

But happy Mother's Day guys. Love too all of you. I mean, not everyone can have like a day off on Mother's Day or, you know, whatever. You know, like Stefan probably won't be around actually because he works on Sunday. I was going to say, where's he going to go with? What's happening? Is this something you're telling us? Got an announcement to make. He works Sunday. So it'll just be a normal day for me and I'm sure for a lot of other months as well. But he better come home with some flowers or else. See again though, I'm not that fast. He probably will. He probably will because he just. Chris tends to do like the babies if they want to get them.

But they tend to ask, can we get mum some flowers? But they do me little homemade cards. Yeah, that's cute. That is cute. Yeah. See, mine is still at the age where like Stefan has to do it. Yes. But like when they get to, I'm sure. I was like six, like having to like, we'd like cycle down to the corner shop in the morning and be like, shit, better get a card and some flowers. Oh, we've got a box of Malteseers. Yeah, can't go wrong. No, you can't. You can't some flowers and I don't know what flower they were. My mum used to go, these are what we put down for your grandma. We'll take them to the grave. Oh, yeah. When you get someone lilies and they're like, these are actually the flowers of death. Yes. You're like, well, it wasn't even a lilia. I want to say it was like a chrysanthem or my mom would be like, these can go on grandma's grave. And I just be like, oh. Okay, happy mother's stuff.

Okay, you love them then. But no, I love it when people celebrate it. Yeah. Just for me, I don't know. I just don't think I want all the fuss. No, I think, but even if it's just something small, like, you know, if someone just bought me like a cup of tea in bed, would be absolutely thrilled with that.

A handmade card is everything. It doesn't have to be massive. No. Just to know that someone's thinking of you, you know, one day a year. And then on the Monday, everything is back to normal. Yeah, but every day we should celebrate. Day is Mother's Day. Every day we should celebrate each other.

We should. We should. Yeah. Tell everybody you love them every single day. Yeah. Or as and when you can because that can be a lot. Can't it? Can you imagine every day?

Oh, here she goes again. Yeah. Although I do tell Roxanne I love her every day. Do you? Yeah, I do. I never say I love you to my family. I speak to my sister the most. Oh God, Lord.

I speak to my sister the most. We just never say it. I just think everyone knows. Do you know what I mean? Like if I was like, I love you, they'd be like, yeah, we know. They'd be like, what's wrong? What's happened? Yeah, they would.

They'd be like, you know. They'd think you're up to something. Yeah. Suspicious. They would. Don't be suspicious. It would be weird. Even me and Stefan don't say it.

Do you and Chris? Yeah. So I love you every day. Yeah. Every day he wakes up and he strokes my head. And he says, I love you, my sweet. No, he doesn't. That would be weird.

I wake up and go, we see, I'll put the fucking bins out. Every time he puts the phone down, I'll say, love you. Oh, yeah. And then he leaves the house, love you. I've never been a love you. Can you, you can probably see that. Do you want me to say, yeah, I was going to say, I don't want to say you don't seem the type, but, you know. Surprise.

Do you want me to tell you every day, I love you? Yeah, I would appreciate that. Can you fuck off now and just leave me alone? Yeah. It's too much. If you say I love you, I know. Yeah, don't say it back. I know. You too. Yeah, thank you. When someone first says, I love you, thanks. Thanks. Oh my God, they never said it back. Do you remember that? Yeah. Do you remember the first time they had to tell you of pressure? Yeah. I'm going to say it first. Oh, if they don't. They just go, cheers. Thanks.

Anyway, happy Mother's Day to all the months. Happy Mother's Day. We hope you have the most beautiful day that's perfect for you. Whether you celebrate or you don't, we fucking love you. Yeah. Yeah, we love you all. Yeah, we love you all. Yeah, we love you all.

And to the aunties as well. Oh, to the aunties. Just to the women. The cousins. Here's to the women. Here's to the dads that are mummies. Yeah. Yeah.

Here's to all of us. Yeah, here's to everyone. Here's to fucking everyone. Cheers to the water. Cheers to that. Cheers to that. Ching, we've just got water in mugs. Right, we're going to take a little break.

But don't go anywhere, because you're in for a treat. Welcome back to the Secret Mum Club. I'm Chris. I'm Dottie. I'm Colby, and we've taken over. We wanted to give Mummy and Emma a little break for Mama's Day, didn't we? Yes, we did. And we've got some secrets to share today. Shall I read the first one?

Yeah. This comes from Oliver, who's six. Sometimes I say I brush my teeth for only brush the front ones. That sounds like you, Colby. This is from Lily. I stay awake and sing quietly when I meant to be sleeping. That sounds like you though. That is you.

That's not me. You're always up much later than you should be, aren't you? You're always up clapping in your room, though. Clap. Do you two stay up past your bedtime? No. I do, yeah. What do you two when you stay up past your bedtime?

Watch TV. Play my Nintendo. What do you do? What do? Well, you take our limit off of 8 o'clock and 8.30. So we stay up really late and then you come into our rooms and turn our TVs off. Yeah. But I end up going to sleep, then waking back up again and then go back to sleep.

Yeah. Well, you dance on your bed, don't you? I do handsstands on my bed. You do the next one, Cobbs? I do Robbie Polly's. Poppy said, I hide my brother's toys in my room. Who does that? Me.

Friendly takes everything. He comes into my room and takes everything. That's friendly. I had Colby's fidgets in my room. Did you? When? And you take one of the toys as well, didn't you as well? Right, do you two have any secrets that you would like to share?

Yeah. Go on, then you go first. So when we were at auntie's house for a sleep over the other night, we slept in big dens that meet, Emily and Colby built, and then basically we all woke up in the middle of the night. Well, in the morning, and half of our dens were gone. Were they? Yeah.

Well, at least half of mine was gone. What does that mean? Who did that? Probably Cobby and heavily. Savataged me. No, you sit up and you destroyed yours in the night because your legs are like that. No, I didn't.

It was your feet, thank you very much. Your feet were in my den. I kept my feet to myself. Same side did, though. No, it was his feet. I had a den, like half the size of this table, woke up. It was this big.

Did you call? I don't know. I don't know. Have you got any secrets, Colby? No, I don't really. You probably sleep snorted so loud there, blue my den down. Possibly. Right, okay, you two.

Do you have any nice messages for Mommy and Emma for Mother's Day? That I love Mum. Okay. Dottie. They're both really pretty. Perfect. You wish them, happy Mother's Day? Happy Mother's Day, Mama.

and me and Emma. What? And how incredible they are? Yeah, they are really incredible. There you go. There's the Incredibles. What is going on here? Oh, sorry, we'll leave.

That's enough for you. Go to leave it to the prize. Leave it to the price. What are you doing, your crazy ones. That's enough of that. My microphone's really small because does who's been on it. Hello. Well, at least they gave us a nice message at the end.

I love Mum. Nothing about Emma. I just really love it. And Emma. And me. You're sorry, good mother. Well, thank you to the babies for the takeover, but now I think it's me and Emma. Yeah, mummy and Emma.

Let's get the professionals back in. I always find it weird calling myself, Mummy. Mummy and Emma. Yeah. Mommy and Mommy and Mommy. Mommy and me. Mommy and me. Mommy and my little me.

So are you ready to come back now? Yes, I think we should get those, get those amateurs out of it. Get the professionals back in. No, thank you. Thank you, Chris. For chairing the discussion. Bless his heart. He didn't think he was doing that today.

I feel like he was sweating. He was a bit of a rabbit in the headlights. I couldn't stay in the room because I didn't want to put him off. But then there was a lot of people watching. But he kept saying, we need Safina here, to bring this back on track. And I was like, yeah, we know who really runs this way. Who ran the rope? He didn't know what to do without you.

Oh, God bless it. And if that isn't a sign that you're a brilliant mother, then I don't know what it is. Or podcast host. And podcast hosts, of course, yeah. If you or your little ones have any secrets they'd like to share, you can email us, hello at secretummpod.com or with SecretMumPod on TikTok. and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. We'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episodes. And we'll see you next time on the secret mom club.