Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Magic Of Play Time

Episode Date: July 2, 2026

The ladies are feeling all the emotions after watching Toy Story 5, as one listener shares how being teased for playing with toys made her feel like she lost a part of herself. They chat about the pressure children face to grow up too quickly, the battle against screens and why imagination is something worth protecting. Plus, one listener shares a very exciting pregnancy secret!Emma Spring Bank Holiday Sale is live! Get up to 25% off plus extra 5% using the code SECRETSLEEP at Emma Sleep.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Safina and Emmett will be here in just a moment. And if you love a good laugh at those times parenting doesn't quite go to plan, then we've got the perfect next listen for you, The Teen Commandments. Sarah Cox and Claire Hamilton look back at their own brilliantly chaotic teenagers while trying to make sense of parenting teenagers today. Along the way, they cover everything from the jazzles and floor drobes to famous snogs, fanny farts and all the wonderfully awkward stuff in between. Search for the Teen Commandments and get the show lined up to play next.

Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursday's episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. You can't see me winking, but I'm going to squeeze your bits. All of your comments, sorts, questions and fun stories. To keep you going through the weekend.

Shall we jump boni? You can't see us right now, but we are very two different outfits. Yeah, it's a tale of two seasons. I'm giving very naked. Emma's giving. Very covered up. Olaf. Dermere.

Damiore. Emma's giving it we're in frozen Well I just think there's going to be air-conditioned everywhere So I'm like you know Air-condition on the train Air conditioning in the studio She's coming in she was like It's cold in here

Guess who's rolling her sleeves up Even she's going to punch me Or she's getting warm She's getting warm It's going to get hot and sweaty So It's going to get hot and sweaty up in this joint You know me

Right are you ready Yeah It's time for the Corresponders Corner Wow I don't know I just want to keep that going I go ahead

I couldn't be there with you. I'm losing my voice. Oh, you are. It's a hay fever. Don't worry, God. She's not sick. She's sick of my shit.

Sicky, oh shit. It's hay fever and I went out. She's been screaming, but we'll tell you in the main. Yeah, so tune in and she'll tell you all the gory details. Oh, she was a little. Oh! No, she was in a house. She was actually beautiful if you saw her Instagram.

She nearly found out a bush, though. I was really, really hoping you were going to fall in the bush. But anyhow, enough of you and me. Let's move on to our friends. Okay, are you ready? Yes. This is from Samantha. Hello, Samantha.

And it says, hi, Sophie and Emma. My husband and I have just found out we're expecting our fourth baby. Holy smokes. That's phenomenal. We've decided that because this is our last, we're going to keep it a secret between the two of us for as long as we can. It feels really exciting to have this little secret that's just ours. But I'm absolutely bursting to tell someone I couldn't think of anyone better than my podcast besties who don't actually know me.

Thank you both for all the wonderful life and mum advice. Love from your loyal listener in an itty-bitty town in Oregon, USA. Stop it now. So we're only the third and fourth people to know. I don't say she's going to keep it a secret between her and a husband. We've just told everybody. Yeah. Oh, no one go to the USA, Oregon.

Nobody will know it's her unless... You're from Oregon and you know a lady called Samantha. Yeah. Who's already got three kids? Who's already got three children. But if you do know her, you don't. Don't say anything. Don't say anything.

It's not that Samantha. And you've got to keep the secret. Yeah. Now, the baton has been passed to you. We're in the Secret Mum Club. We're all in this together. Samantha, I'm insanely excited. How exciting.

I wonder when they're going to tell people. I don't know, but I just find it absolutely phenomenal that we're in the USA. Yeah. That's wild, isn't it? I know. Imagine we just go to Oregon one day and we're like, hey, Samantha. I'd love to go to Oregon. Apparently, it's a very cool city.

I thought it's state. Isn't it really, it is one of the smaller ones. And isn't it like a... It's very picturesque. I don't know if it's small, but it's very beautiful. I think it's on the west, far west coast. Right, now you're getting technical. I've got a fucking clue.

Below Canada. North-east, southwest. It's meant to be very lovely. Yeah, that's what I mean, though. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Stunning. Stunning.

Stun. Not saying that the USA collects for it. Right. Okay. I was just digging out. The whole lot is stunning. Yeah, we love you all. We love you all.

We love you all. We're sending you all the luck in all the world. That's really exciting. A lovely, lovely pregnancy. Fourth, she's basically a blow, isn't she? Oh, what a droll. How long do you think you can get away with it? Like 20 weeks, maybe?

Fourth is harder to show, isn't it? Because everything's already gone out and done it a couple of times. So everything shows a bit quicker, doesn't it? But I would love to know, are we doing gender? Should we do your gender reveal? Yes. Maybe we should go to Oregon and do the gender reveal. Or even if you don't want anyone else to know that, can you keep keeping us in the loop?

So we know before everyone else. What position to be in? And also tell us if anybody is getting any hints or if someone's asked you and you're like, No. I'd find it hard to hide it for that long, I think. Like as soon as I could tell people I had to. I can't keep a surprise for fucking shit. No, I can't.

I'd have to. But even not even just keeping the surprise. Like, hiding it like, when I wasn't drinking, everyone was like, you're pregnant straight away, you're pregnant. Emma, you love a glass. I'd never normally say no. No. Well, you're not drinking?

I'm sick. Yeah. Oh, congratulations to you and your beautiful family. And yeah, keep us in the look. Yeah, keep us posted. Thank you. you. All right, this one is in response to the anonymous listener we had who wrote in about not wanting to have sex after babies. This was a big one, wasn't it? It was. And it did. It got some nice comments

online, actually. Did get some lovely comments. So this says, hi ladies. You two are clearly sent by the universe to make sure nothing stays taboo. Sex after having a baby is such a complicated topic and I loved everything you said. But there's one biological reason people don't always think about. While you're breastfeeding, your sex drive is naturally suppressed. From an evolutionary point of view, it makes perfect sense. Before modern life raises. a baby who was already feeding was hard enough without falling pregnant again straight away. Keep smashing those taboos, love Anonymous. Oh, so it's actually, yeah. I knew that was a thing. Yeah. Oh, well, you didn't fucking share that last week, did you? No, but I mean, it's, I mean,

thank you, Anonymous. Thank you so much. This is wonderful knowledge. But it's, it's obvious, right? That's why it works. And I think that's why. So that you don't fall pregnant again? So you're basically, that's a thing you can. So it's a bit of a myth, isn't it, that you can't get pregnant while you're breastfeeding, but you can, but so that you don't feel like doing it, your body suppresses the hormones while you're breastfeeding so that you don't end up having babies in really quick succession. Wow. Which is where my mum fell foul of the rules.

She just couldn't resist, Steve, and it's powerful. That's how I ended up being, yeah. Spurn. Ew. Gross. But yeah, it kind of makes sense, doesn't it? Your body's like protecting you. And also, I don't think you should get pregnant.

Like, they say you shouldn't get pregnant too soon. I would just like to put it out there. You can get pregnant while breastfeeding. It is not a myth. But you're supposed to let your body recover for like, don't they say like at least a year? I thought it was nine months in nine months out. Listen, I'm going two years strong. I'm doing great.

Yeah. I'm having a great time. Yeah. Poor Chrissy's in the room. It's just hard, isn't it? And that's a really lovely thing to say. And I hate the fact that there is to do, taboo subjects. Yeah.

I don't want there to ever be a taboo. There's always somebody out there that is suffering. and in silence and that bit I hate. I hate somebody sat there so scared to even reach out or talk to anybody because they feel ashamed. And there's nothing. There is literally nothing to be ashamed of because there will always be one person either going through what you're going through or thinking how you're thinking. And it is hard.

That bit just makes you see like all these fantasies, don't you? On the television and all these romances and romance novels and you think, what the fuck is wrong with me? Yeah. When in fact, two. This is real life. This is real life. Well, thank you so much.

I love that. Oh, Mas has just put in... Mass has just given us a fact. Yes. Healthcare professionals generally recommend waiting at least four to six weeks after vaginal delivery and about six to eight weeks after a serian section. That's for having sex again. Sorry, I meant for getting pregnant again to having another baby.

Oh, yes. Because your body needs to like recover from the trawl. Four to six weeks after a vaginal delivery. I'm two years and I'm still not ready. I'm not recovered down there. These stats, I remember like having this in. my head after having the baby and thinking like again, I think they're unhelpful because it makes you think, oh, it's been six weeks. I should be having sex again. Better than doing it. And if you

don't feel like it, like that's totally fine. And then you feel like you're not in the statistic. Like what is wrong with me? Everyone else is having sex after six weeks. Oh no, my poor partner. It's 24 months for me and I'm still. My poor hole is not ready. Just because you can like physically do it. It doesn't mean you have to be. Yeah, don't, yeah, don't feel pressure. If you are doing it, great. And there's nothing. It works both ways. It doesn't matter. If you are sexually active and you've got children,

if it is working for you, then that's wonderful. But if it isn't something you feel like you want to do or it hasn't come back, that equally is just as OK. Do you know what I mean? It works both ways. But I say, I'm here for everyone. We're supporting everyone. And if you're having sex, that is great.

Good for you. Because I'm not. But if you have concerns or you feel like you're dismissing your partner. partner, equally, you should always communicate that. You should always be honest and open and talk about it and how you're feeling and why you're feeling the way you're feeling inside your body. Yeah. Because otherwise it sometimes can break you, can't it?

It can really tear down our relationship. So it's always communication is key. Yes, honies. Absolutely. Oh, that was a good one, one now. All right, this one comes from Sophie and it says, Hi, Ladies. I listen to you talking about the names that people aren't using for babies anymore,

and I can confirm there are definitely still baby Emma's being born. Meet mine. Oh. Your podcast has helped me so much while raising her big brother Jude, who has just turned three. Baby Emma joined us on the 29th of May, 2026. She's only a month old.

Oh, Emma's always wanted a baby named after her. Oh, thank you so much, Sophie, for naming your baby after me. Honestly, I don't know what to say. I'm flattered. I'm honoured. From one very sleep-deprived ma'am who relies on your voices

twice a week to help keep me sane. Oh. Welcome to the world, baby Emma. I think friends helped boost the popularity of baby Emma. Because that was Ross and Rachel's baby, wasn't it? Oh, we've got a picture of her. A picture's just popped in. Oh, she's fresh out.

She's fresh out. Oh, my goodness. Baby, Emmett. Look at all of her hair. Do you know what? The babies that have been born, my friend had a baby in May. You're going to say a hairy. No, not hairy, although she does have hair.

I was like, poor, her name Stevie. I was like, poor Stevie has been born into a real shit show of weather. Because her mum is struggling. Two heat waves. She's been born in May and she's had been through two. heat waves already. She was like, I don't want to do with this baby. So I hope her was okay. The postparting sweats as well. Because it's not, it's no joke. Well, even that pregnancy sweats. Yeah. To be either pregnant, giving birth or having a newborn and going through the aftermath. It's a lot. But it's

stressful enough with a newborn being like, are they the right temperature? What should I put them in? How many layers should they be wearing? Can I take them out? Should I keep them in? How are they sleeping? And this is the hard thing as well is that sometimes there's so much online again. Do we put our baby in clothes? And then do we not put them in clothes, are they regulating their, because babies can't regulate their temperature. And it's a real, it's a real big mindful. And someone will say to you, oh, you shouldn't really have them in that. That's a bit. They're a bit hot in there.

And oh, you shouldn't really have them not have any clothes on them just in a vest because now they're too cold. And you literally get home and you just fucking been hit by a bus. Like what is going on? Your hormones are mental. You've got all these strangers telling you what to do with your baby. And you've got to trust your gut. You'll know, you'll know your baby. And it is hard.

It is really hard. And there's a lot of pressure, isn't there? Yeah. This is what you should be doing. Yeah. You got to trust you, boo-boo. It's this hard when it's 35 degrees outside, though. So I hope you're doing okay, Sophie and Emma and Jude.

Jude. Oh, little Jude. I love the name Jude. Me too. That's an adorable. She is beautiful. Sophie, you did great. Obviously, and her daddy too.

Yeah, he was partly, you know. Partly responsible. A little bit. That is just a delicious newborn baby, isn't it? I did go and Mamas and Puppas the other day. I had no business being in there. But I just wanted to look at the children. Baby's clothes.

I had no business being in there. What the fuck are you doing, Svina? And then I could feel myself crying. I thought, oh, that period's coming. It did the next day. So thank you so much for your messages. If you have any comments, thoughts or funny stories, why not get in touch? You can email us hello at secretmanpod.com or with SecretMampod on TikTok and Instagram.

Next is time for one of your! Your! Secret Today Roll up and give us to us Give them to us Yeah We love a secret

on the secret mom club And you are all so good at sharing So Emma What have you got for us today? Okay This one comes from Annie Oh Annie

Annie was on my girl Baby Name list Was it? Yes Can you do a thing from the film? Annie Actually

The sun will come out Tomorrow I do actually know it I know that film Why wouldn't she know it? No, I've noticed, never seen any films, but Annie is one that I have seen. I was going to say, fuck me, you've seen Annie for goodness sake. Of course.

Danny Warbrooks. I wonder if she gets it all the time. Yeah. It's a really great name, Annie. Yeah, it's a lovely name. All right, says, hey, girly-whirly-woo's. Hello, Annie. Okay, now we will sing it.

The sun will come out tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar there tomorrow. We'll be fight. Hilariously, me and my sisters used to sing that when we were younger and think that we could make it as like West End stars. It made us want to like be on the stage. Do you know? Do you know?

Do you know? Two, um, two sisters, but we were living very much parallel lives. Mine and my sisters was, pack up your troubles in your roll. Keep begging. Smile, smile, smile. What is a lucifer to light your fag? Smile, but I sung it at Haven as well on a fucking stage.

Oh. Did win a Paddington Bearbag though. Oh, fair play. I didn't make it though. No, BGT for me. No, but worth it for the back. Sorry, Annie, we got distracted. Okay, hey, girly-whirley-wooes.

It's Mama Sunshine here, or Miss Honey, as Sof once called me. I wrote in a while ago about playing dolls with my step-daughters. Stop it, this is Miss Honey. Right, sit back, our girls talking. Mama Sunshine. I'm writing because I've just seen Toy Story 5. Don't worry, no spoilers. And I cried a lot.

Yeah. Happy tears, sad tears, nostalgic tears, all of them. I've always had a huge imagination, and as a child, playing with toys was everything to me. On the drive home, my partner asked why I'd cried so much. I realised it wasn't really about the film. It was because it reminded me how much I loved playing with my toys growing up. I carried on playing with them until year 8 when I was about 14.

Then MSM, Bebo and all that became popular. People found out I still played with toys and I got teased for being a baby. It really hurt. Little by little I stopped playing and honestly I feel like I lost a part of myself. Playing wasn't childish to me. It was how I explored feelings, made sense of the world and escaped into my imagination. It got me thinking, who decided there's an... age limit on playing. Even now, I love playing dolls with my stepdaughter. I know every character's

personality, their voices and their little stories. I love building Lego with my stepson, running around soft plays and parks, and I honestly can't wait until my little boy, Sunny, who's two and a half, and obsessed with Toy Story 2, starts making up his own games for us to play together. As adults, life gets so serious, and I think so many of us lose that playful part of ourselves. So here's my reminder to anyone who needs it. You're never too old to play with toys. There isn't actually a rule book that says you have to stop. If you're anything like, like me, please don't feel embarrassed. You're definitely not alone. Lots of love to you both. She's a real life, Bonnie. She's a real life Miss Honey. She's not, she's actually real life Bonnie.

Yeah. You've seen it as well. Oh, she's Blaze. She might be Blaze. That was adorable, wasn't it? I had seen it and I did cry. We can't. I cried like a baby. I cried like a baby. I did feel like it was, um, again, no spoilers if you haven't seen the film. I'm not going to give spoilers but I just felt like it was very much in the realms of like what I've been through yeah as as Annie is saying I very much felt the storyline really powerful yeah Colby obviously understood it he's like 10 and we're going into the worlds of like phones and stuff like yeah but I it was a little bit over dotty's head yeah but I just felt like that that that is going to be her that's going to terrify me in that I don't want it to be picked on she's very much and I think

I don't know whether it's a girl thing. She's got such a massive imagination and she's just such a wonderful player that that's, I think I'm terrified for her. But it's hard, isn't it? Because as the saying goes, you can take a horse to water and you can't make it drink. It's so hard that you can send her to, I can send her to school with all the confidence in the whole entire world to not give a fuck about anybody. But children are the biggest influence on children.

And that frightens me. Also, do you know what else scares me? is that I'm, we now do all of this parenting to put our children into school. And obviously we don't all parent the same, which is beautiful. Love that we're all doing it different because no one's doing it the right way. But then it just gets into this massive class of children, 30 children that have been parented completely different. And you have no, and it literally for me is, no control.

No control. And it's like like having only sent Joseph to school for the last like six months, I can see it's just, it has such a big. He comes home, like until now, we've basically had kind of control over everything that he's done, everything that he's played with, everything, apart from when he goes to nursery. But once you get into a class full of people, and also what I find is a really big influence is, it's not so much the other three and four year old boys and girls, it's those children that have got older siblings.

Yes. So he comes home now talking about playing K-pop demon hunters. And I'm like, how do you know about K-pop demon hunters? It's because people have got older sisters or the people that have got older brothers, he'll come home talking about like football and I'm like you've never you've never talked about football and it's not all bad stuff like some of it is fine and it's great but that is scary the influences that other children are bringing into the classroom and ultimately like what do children want they want to fit in yeah so they want to go along with everything that their friends are doing yep you know and luckily

like Joseph's little friends at school are into what he's into at the moment which is superheroes and they're only three and four so they do still role play and he very much more like do that at home but tech is creeping into our house like he the irony of the the meltdown that we had when we got back from Toy Story 5. We took them to the cinema in the morning. They both sat brilliantly. We weren't going to take Sadie because I was like she's young to sit through a two-hour film. But they sat down brilliantly, watched it. And then it was almost like in the afternoon. They were like, we sat in a cinema, sat still for two hours today, but hey, brilliantly while we were out. So now we're going to go fucking wild. Yeah. And in that afternoon, they were feral.

And not to give anything away, but the story is basically about tech taking over, isn't it? Yes. And it's about an iPad. And how it changes their personality. It's about tablet called Lily Pad who basically starts taking over and the toys get forgotten about. Yes. When Joseph wasn't allowed to play his iPad when we got home from the film. Beryl. He had such a meltdown and I was like, did the message of Toy Story 5 mean nothing to you? I was like, hello, the whole thing is about tech taking over.

But now that we've let him play his iPad a little bit, I can see that he's becoming, he'll go choose that rather than like going to play with his toys. And he's always been so good at like role play and imagination and playing with his little bit. little figures and stuff. But now the tech is so addictive that he like wants a hit, because we don't let him have it in the morning as soon as we come in from somewhere, he wants like a hit of that straight away. He's like, can I play my iPad? Can I play my iPad? To the point where me and Stefan are like, we've got to put some restrictions in place now. And he's almost going for a bit of a like withdrawal. Like he is having big moods because we say no, you're not allowed that now. But I'm like, the film made me realize like he's still little and I still want him to play the way he always has

done because he's so good at it. Like he loves that and I want his imagination to grow and for him to keep doing it. But suddenly it'll get to a point where it's like, that's not cool anymore. Yeah. And the figures will go away. Yeah. And like that's, it's heartbreaking, isn't it?

And it's like now, I find that I'm, same as you say, Dotsey has had complications, hasn't she, at school? And most of the children have older siblings. And the things that are being said in her school setting at seven years old, it's just not appropriate. And it really terrifies me because she'll come home and ask me things. And I'm like, how do you know this?

Like, why do you know this? And it does, it is. That's a massive thing. And like, I know you're saying you're scared of it. But it gets worse, the bigger that they get. And you're just like, well, this is a lot for me to, this is a lot for me to handle. But I did feel like the,

the film done a wonderful message in the fact that now I find, when me and Roxanne have never noticed a gap in the children, children have always played together, whether it's in the garden, they've played dollies, they've played Lego. Now Roxanne's are all bigger. Eden's going out to work. She's learning to drive. She's texting her friend. She's going out to town.

She's doing her bit. My nephew is a massive gamer. He loves gaming. He goes to the park, goes out on his bike. But now there is such a massive divide in our children. It's kind of, not that I'd ever expect it, but it's way more obvious. But now they don't play. So when Dotty gets that little hit from Everley,

who's 10, she'll be 11 in October. She'll kind of play with Dotty. But then she's like, oh, I'm going to go inside now and play Roblox with Colby. And you can just see her little heart sink. And I'm like, it's okay. Mommy will play or Daddy can play. And she's like, no, it's fine.

I'm just going to go and do some colouring or she'll go off and do something else. But I love that the film brought back that moment of Bonnie and Blaze. Because I felt like it needed that reminder because it is okay. It's okay to still play and it's okay to have fun and we just have to say

fuck it to anybody else. But it's given them the ability and the confidence to defend themselves. I don't really give a fuck what you think. I'm going to do what I'm into. Yeah.

Yeah. But that is unfortunately doesn't happen, does it? As much as we can install that into them. It's when push comes to shove, they're like, no, I'm not. I want to do, yeah. I want to do what the other girls are doing.

I know. But Annie, thank you so much, honey. I love that so much. And I want to know if Sunny went. Renly went and I think we got about an hour and a half out of him. The last half hour, 40 minutes, he was at the front dancing. Was it? Yeah, dancing at the front of the cinema.

And I was like, do you know what? We've done well to get that long out of him. And I was aware of that there was a lot of adults in there that didn't have children. So I was kind of like I said to Chris, I don't really want to ruin it because there's obviously adults can watch Toy Story too. It's not just for children. So I was kind of aware of that. So we were sat a bit high up and then we moved down to the front. And yeah, I managed to get a little 40 minutes.

out of him. But the screen's so fucking massive. You couldn't bloody see him down the front. It's a little dot. I kept texting Chris. Can you see him? But no. Stefan was like, one of us is going to have to be willing to take Sadie out if she starts keeping off. And I was like, not me. I still, I don't want to miss any. I took the bat on. Actually, to be fair, we did take it in turn.

I said to Chris, because it was Daddy's Day when we went to watch it. So I was like, you sit there. Enjoy your time. I was trying to look for the window. Yeah, one eye. Oh, Annie, thank you, my darling. Thank you so much. Anyone else love playing with toys, then let us know.

You can email us hello at secretmummpod.com or with SecretMumPod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. We'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club.