Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Mat Leave Jumble

Episode Date: September 25, 2025

This week, Sophiena and Emma go international with your messages from the USA and Canada. There’s a beautiful story of a baby boy sending a sign from heaven, an inspiring mum smashing half marathons and Hyrox competitions, plus a nappy-buying tip that could save your sanity and you wallet! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's William and Jordan here from Help I sexted my boss. And on the latest episode, William gets his first stitch. All of a sudden, like sort of one of those things in films, it goes, I've been around at Jordan's house to look at his wine rack and glory hole. In my head, when you were telling us that it took someone four hours to put that up. Yeah. I have something else in mind. And we hear from a G&Diva who had a trifling matter with a tampon.

Oh, and we also announced our arena tour. Yeah, we did, boy. It's the podcast where Manners meets Mayhem. Listen now, wherever you get your podcast. Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club I'm Safina And I'm Emma And welcome to your Thursday's episode

Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week Squeeze your bits I can't do my brows anymore So I'm sorry, so sorry All of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories To keep you going through the weekend Shall we jump on in? Right, it's time for another Correspondence Corner.

Ah, hum, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ho, ho ho, that sounded like, Sticking up your jumper. Oh, two very different childhoods. So, Emma, let's have the first one, please. Okay, this one is from Courtney in Arkansas. Oh, USA. USA. I'm obsessed with the USA at the moment.

All Kansas. Mainly for the song that's trend in, The Strangers from the musical. Is this TikTok? Two strangers that carried a cake across New York. TikTok? Well, it's in the West End. It's a West End show, yeah.

If it's on TikTok, I know what you're talking about, obviously. It is on TikTok, but I did bring it to Insta. Oh, you did? Well, only the song. I was just dancing on my table, you know. Normal activities in my home. Check that out. At Safina Official.

All right, this says, Hello, Wonderful Ladies. I've listened to the pod from the very beginning. I'm actually listening to the nursery nightmare episodes. I typed this and I just had to write in. Oh, wow. I lost my mum, Karen, in 2006 when I was 12 and my dad, Fred, when I was 27. Oh, God. I'm now 33 and a mom of two beautiful boys, 11 and 4, and then my whole world.

When my youngest was born, moments after he arrived, he stuck his tongue out, and I happened to capture a picture of it. A few weeks later, I was going through photo albums. My mom had put together years ago. I found a picture of her sticking her time out. Oh my gosh. In that moment, I just knew my sweet boy was handpicked by my parents in heaven. I can't help but think she whispered in his ear before he was younger. Oh, God again.

Every week before he was earthside, telling him to send me that little message to remind me she's still with me every day. There's a picture. You want to see it. Oh, gosh. To add to it all, Kean was born in September the same month as both of my parents' birthdays. Pretty wild when you think about it. Thank you for being a safe place and keeping this busy mum company. I look forward to listening every week.

Y'all are my favourites. Love Courtney. And, of course, Kian, Fred and Grandma Karen. She named her other boy Fred after her dad. Oh, my gosh. Courtney, this is too much. Oh, my gosh. That's a great picture of your mom.

That's a wonderful picture of your mom. Oh, look at him. How is he looks so delicious. I know. He looks very beautiful. Red and healthy because it just come out. Oh, my gosh. Oh my heart

Do you know it still blows my mind That USA are listening to you I know Waffle drivel every week What? You never really think anyone's listening But when you think that we've made it that far It's amazing isn't it?

That's pretty wild isn't it And also a lot of our references They must just be like what the fuck What the fuck are you guys What they're talking about? Thanks for sticking with it Gosh thank you That must be a lot to stay

Stick out of two British girls. Yeah. It's okay, that's a shite. Thank you, Courtney. This one says, Hi, lovely ladies. Longtime listener here. You get me through my never-ending housework every week

and reassure me that I'm not the only one who finds motherhood the craziest roller coaster in the world. I just wanted to respond to the lovely lady who wrote in to say she'd lost herself since becoming a mum. As a stay-at-home mom, I know that feeling so well.

It's so easy to get lost in the madness of motherhood and forget that you're still your own person and just as important as you've always been. My two children are now three and five And last year I started going to the gym Just something to get me out of the house A couple of evenings a week A year and a half later

I'm training for my second half marathon this year Oh wow And my first ever high rocks competition in October So what I'm gauging from this Is this is one mama not to be fucked with Wow Because she is strong AF That's basically like a

Like the What is it? It's right there It's on the tip of my tongue You see them on the television don't you? It's like a hit. Yeah, but it's...

It's like a hit competition. Yes. But with running in it? Yeah. Wow. There is a special name for it. I can't... Is there?

Hirox. Hirox. Are you thinking of like world's strongest... No. No. Think of the one where they do like chin-ups and then they run down. Oh, CrossFit. Yeah, CrossFit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, she says I couldn't be without the gym now. It's completely changed my life. I feel like I found myself again, found something I love, and I've met so many new people. It's been such a positive influence on my babies, too. they always tell me you're so strong mummy i want to be like you so remember ladies no matter what stage of life you're in it's never too late to find something you love and taking time for yourself is so so so important kira oh kira this is actually really inspirational

very isn't it i've been on the fence up with the gym for about 19 months and this actually makes me want to go is it making you feel like you should go although there was some there's been some so my friend we call her portsmouth um that's my friend at portsmouth um that's my friend at portsmouth She is... She's from Portsmouth? No, she isn't from Portsmouth. I was going to say never been. I think she's been to Portsmouth, but her surname is Portsmouth.

Okay. But she goes to the gym and there's been drama at her gym and you know when you're like, do I want to join the gym for the wrong reasons? Yeah. Do I just want to join so I can be not in the drama? I just would like to... Yeah, observe the drama. And episode of Jerry Springer at the gym.

Yeah. But yeah. Wow. I know. Yeah, it's making me feel like I need to get off my fat ass and do something. Shut up, you nutter. I'm not doing high rocks competitions and half marathon. No, but you are going to David Lloyd.

You've got that membership. Oh, what are you going to do about? That membership, I'm not getting my value for money out of. No. I hardly ever go. And you're going to not use it now. No, we're going to cancel it, obviously. But I do use it for the kids.

I love that you're obviously. Obviously. But yeah, I use it a lot for the kids. But I don't go to the gym that much myself. I do run a bit. But a half marathon, I can barely make a 5K. I actually really just really love the idea of having time away because I work from home.

and I'm at home with the babies, I am becoming a, I fear I'm becoming a little bit of a recluse. Do you think you need to get out more? Yeah, and I do actually get a little bit stressed of the thought of going out. Do you? Yeah, I do, which I've never, ever, ever, ever, ever, in my life, ever being that person. And I find so much more comfort going out with the babies. So whether, I always say to the children, anyone want to come to the shop with me.

Oh, you'd rather do that than go by yourself? Yeah. I'm like, I'll go to the shop without you. No, I tend to take, or I'm like, oh, I'll take the baby with me and I'll just walk around the shop with the baby or I say to Chris, do you think we can all go? And I've never been that person. And it's not that I'm, it's not that I'm not okay. I just don't, I just don't want to be on my own. Yeah. I think it's, I think it's really healthy to have some time on your own. It is. I think it's just what you get used to, isn't it? Like when that's your normal,

it's more comfortable to just kind of just stay in it. But it is good to push yourself out of your comfort zone. And to have time to. yourself. Sometimes when I go to the gym, I think, oh, can't be asked tonight. But then I think all, but then when you do it, you feel so good. Yes, I can imagine you do. But then I think, I've got a great season I could be watching. Christy or fall to sleep. That's my alone time. That's the time when I listen to him snoring on a catch up on a good few seasons of me, of my show. That's my downtime. And the babies are in such a wonderful routine at the moment that I get so much time in the evening. Yeah. But I could probably go to the gym, but I think,

oh, it's cold, it's rain. I know. I do everything. to not play. And here we are 19 months later. Still not join the gym. You'll be doing a high rocks competition before you know it so. Oh yeah. Or bodybuilding you know. They might get into that. Well go you. I do. I do actually admire people that do do this. Amazing. Yeah. Isn't it? Phenomenal. All right. One last message here. Yes. Hi. Sofen Emma. I've been listening to the podcast since the beginning, even before I was a mum. Now I've got a perfect sweet seven-month-old baby boy named Wesley born on Valentine's Day. I love listening while we go on daily dog walks during my mat leave. It feels more relatable than ever now. In response to the

listener who asked for financial tips when preparing for their first baby, one that really helped us was to buy a box of nappies every week or every other week in different sizes a couple of months before the baby arrives. You slowly build up a stash and it lasts a good while while you're adjusting and figuring out finances once the baby is here. Love you ladies and hi to my mum, who I know is listening. Lots of love, Gabby in Edmonton, Canada. Oh, Gabby. It's such an International episode. God, I just hit my mouth. I was that excited.

This is so international today from Canada. Wow. That's wonderful advice, isn't it? That's a really good tip. I would only say, for me, personally, my house is the size of a shoebox. And I wouldn't have anywhere to stash or there's nappies. But if you've got a nice big house with some cupboard space,

that's a really good idea. It is. Our houses tend to be a lot smaller here than overseas. And we don't really have the capacity to... Do you know what? One thing I used to really love watching. on the telly was couponers, couponers, people that coupon.

Oh. Does anybody remember that era of just watching people in America couponing? No. It's phenomenal. And they used to have rooms with shelving like in the basement because we obviously don't have basements here.

And there'd just be shacks, stacks and shacks. I mean, we're all shacking up here. We stacks on the like shelving stack. Of all the supplies from their couponing. Such great TV. when I was growing up. Do you know what? My dad does that a bit.

He's always got like a huge stash of like washing detergent, toilet rolls, kitchen roll, washing up liquid, like all the stuff that you're always going to run out of. Do you remember the Hinch Narnia era? Yeah. When she had her little in the garage. But if you can find this space, that's wonderful. It's such a good tip. Such great.

Because also, when are you never going to not need nappies? Always. You're always going to need it. And you're always getting to the end of the pack and being like, oh, they've grown out of those ones now. And when you don't need them, you can donate them. I donated hours to. the either the food bank or to other sources that require the nappies. Yeah, nappies are always popping off on the neighbourhood WhatsApp.

Yes. People love it, don't they? Yes. Well, my kids grown out of these now. Who wants 200 size fours? Yeah, I'll take the lot. I do. I'll bring around me moving van.

I'll take it all. But no, I love that. And congratulations to baby Wesley. I hope he's doing wonderful. Oh, yeah. Seven months old. That's the sweet spot, right? When they're like sitting but they're not moving and they're all like cuddly still.

Yes. They still nod off on you when you want to, you want to have a little, not contact that. Catch up on your series in the telly. She's obsessed. What can I say? What can I say? But thank you Gabby so much and congratulations. And I hope you're looking after yourself as well. So thank you for your messages. If you have any comments, thoughts or funny stories, why not get in touch? You can email us hello at secret mumpod.com or with secret mum pod on TikTok and Instagram. Next, it's time for one of your secrets. Not emma's or mine, yours.

Hi, I'm Jack Remington. And I'm Ash Home. And this is The Jack and Ash Show. Expect laughs, chaos and frippery that only proper best friends can offer. Plus some good. More likely bad. Advice for anyone who needs it. And even if you don't need it, we'll still give it to you.

So if you're short of a best friend or just need a fair one, get involved. Search the Jack and Ash show now. Because who doesn't need another bestie? Watch and listen to new episodes every Friday. Welcome back. We love a secret on The Secret Mum Club. And you are all so good at sharing. So Emma, what have you got for us today? This comes from Emma.

Another. Anna-na-man-naman-naman. Name the film. Anam-a-ma-ma-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Finding Nemo. Yes. Well done. Do you know why the only reason why I need that? Brother. I don't actually know the reference, but it's because you were saying the name of a fish.

It's when he asks, Marlon asks where, because he's starting school. He's off to, he's off to school and he asks him like, where do you live? Oh. Anamonemone. An anemone. Anemone. But Nemo can't say it. Yeah.

So cute. Anywho. Another Emma, yeah, not me. Hello Emma. Hi, ladies. I emailed earlier this year. I was the mum who hated people touching her bump. That's very valid.

I have my little girl in June and she's doing really well her name is Robin Sydney and she's just the best Oh what beautiful name I know I quite like Sydney for a girl I've really really love Sydney for a girl I also really love Robin Yeah that's another good unisex

That is a wonderful one yeah I just want to sit vent really I'm finding maternity leave quite boring I want to get out to groups and things but I feel anxious that people are judging me I also don't really like other people's kids Fair I just wondered what did you both do during

maternity leave to keep yourselves going I can't keep cleaning or going out and spending money. Please help. Emma, we fill your sister. Yeah, this is a hard one. I mean, I did spend a lot of money because every outing involved coffee and cake. Yeah, because you're also harder that you're in London. Yeah.

I did do the baby groups and I thought, fuck the world. Fuck them all. I wasn't really too bothered if people were judging me. Unfortunately, I got to a point where a bit like you that I was in my head of like, oh, people are looking at me, people are judging me. And do you know what? We all parent differently. No one is doing this show.

right and I literally couldn't stare at the walls anymore I we went to music bugs we did little craft classes the YMCA had loads of um like messy play like we would go to the YMCA for like messy play um and I just found myself a little buddy which I think obviously makes it easier but I only found the buddy through going to the classes and then I'd see familiar faces but it was I wasn't it that doesn't needless to say that I wasn't shit in my pants every week and I did sit in the car when the baby was napping and think oh should we just go home yeah I got a load of washing that you're always thinking yeah what could I be doing at home now being productive it is like some people do find it really boring because sometimes it is

when little ones aren't doing much yeah or you like dread the like it's just like the monotony of every day you like you wake up and sometimes it's actually really stressful to leave the house it's more stressful to leave the house than it's to stay in well I did find that at the start with Colby but then Colby loved all three of mine love being outside so even being in a pram and going for a walk I walked loads with Dotty and Colby I walked loads

Renley not so much because obviously I've got way more responsibilities now and the other two of trying to keep the house keep on top of the washing have everything done in an order for them so I did walk way more with them too than I do Renly but I walked shit loads I really loved walking with Colby

he loved to be an outside I loved getting some fresh air, not spending any money. I'd cheekily buy myself maybe a little sandwich and we'd sit down the park or take a picnic from home and sit down the park. But I did bite the bullet and just do it and just thought, you know what? Everyone's fucking different.

And do you know what as well? It's that thing where people go, oh, imagine everybody in the room naked. Don't do that at a baby class. It would be very odd. But just imagine that everybody in the room, no one is parenting the same. And what thoughts you're having in your head?

I can guarantee 99% of the room also have exactly the same thoughts. Yeah. And I would say no one's judging you because they've probably all got their own shit going on. And that's easy for us to say. Yeah. It's so easy for us to sit and say that no one's judging you. I mean I would create my own group to be fair. What, do like a music group. Oh, I'd love it. Would you? Yeah, I'd love to do a baby group. I would say, yeah, go to all the classes. Try lots of different ones out. That can also get really expensive though. Some of the ones I went to were like 15 quid. There were some of the ones at the church were free and you could make a donation. Church pay groups are amazing actually. They're always free and libraries. Yes. support your local libraries. They're usually free and they usually have some like music classes or baby groups that you can go to. And even if they don't have anything on, it's just somewhere like to go and sit and be quiet and have a cup of tea.

Outside parks obviously are wonderful because they're free. It's just hard when like your baby is really new and they're not doing much. Because obviously they can't like enjoy a park. They just lay in the plan and don't do anything. Music and walk for me. But yeah, the classes I think are really good and you probably will meet. I know it's really quite overwhelming and intimidating to go into. of a class where you don't know anyone.

And everyone's been there for a really long time. And maybe they've got their own little cliques and they're already friends or whatever. But I really like formed good relationships with people that I went to the music classes and stuff with. And it's not even like, there's no, it's no like high pressure. Like you don't have to speak to anyone. But like if your babies happen to be laying next to each other and they go, oh, you know, how old's your one?

Or what's, how was your night's sleep or whatever? And then you just start bonding over. Yes. Because you're all going through the same thing. I meant some really nice, nice mums that way. So it's a really good. And then when you do make a little friend, you can be like,

what class are you going to you this week? Or do you just want to go for coffee? But even if you don't want to meet anybody, it's still... You can go and not speak to anyone if you want to. 100%. But I think sometimes I think we have such an image in our head because I can only speak for myself,

but I always find like hairdressers or predominantly women-based areas. I just find it very... Intimidating. I do find it really, really intimidating. So I'd much rather me pop into a car garage, although I do find that intimating. I'd rather speak with men than I would speak with women

because I find women way more judgy than men. But I think sometimes if you can overcome that, it's actually quite freeing to be in the class, even if you're not talking to anybody, to just have a little bit of social interaction with your baby in a different environment than is your home. It's just nice for them to have a change of seats as well because sometimes being in the same room all day,

like our house in particular, there's only one room you can hang out in And sometimes I'm like, if I have to stare at these same four walls, like I'm so bored just to get out and like have a change of scene. Like it can really change your, change your mood. But it's, I would say it's 100% how we've all been, we've all been there. Yeah, we've all been there. We're all in it. We're all experiencing it.

Sometimes I go a little bit stir crazy in the house when I'm working. And then what with the babies? You do go. And it's good. And I just, I try my best as much as I can. Even if I'm walking around the block for 10 minutes or we. walk into town or we do something just to get out even just for a bit of fresh air. It can be stressful when they're really little, like Robin's only three months.

Like you're thinking, okay, if I go out, like, are they going to cry on the bus? Like, will she need a feed? Is she going to do a massive poo? Where am I going to change her? And I felt that it helped to just like, maybe don't go too far from home, but always know, like, if you can stop somewhere, do a nappy change, do a feed. I always find it really wonderful. When I used to go on a walk, I used to put Colby in the carry cart.

know the carricot stroller. I just used to change his nappy while he was lead, yeah, I did. Yeah, I used to find myself a little spot maybe behind the, behind a tree and I just changed his bum. We'd be able to sit on a bench, give him a little feed.

I think when you get yourself out there, the idea of it is way more daunting than actually doing it. And then when you do it, you feel really proud of yourself. You feel really proud. I smash that today. You go home and you're like, I fucking out I've walked two miles today. Yeah.

The baby's happy. And everything with like the fresh air, the sensory, the noises, the birds, sounds, textures, everything. You sometimes think, gosh, they're not going to look at anything. But them just being in the pram, taking everything in is so draining for them. So you find that they do have a little bit of a better sleep. Yeah.

But yeah. You can do it. You can do it. Yeah. So proud of you. And you're completely normal in feeling how you feel. It does sometimes get a little bit boring. Yeah.

But that's completely normal. Yeah. And we're wishing you all the best of luck. If you do try, then obviously, do keep us posted. I want to know how the first group goes. But definitely check out your free ones. Also on Facebook and I don't know where you are in the world. If there's little groups that you can join that tell you where your free classes are. Yeah. Because that's another one that's really good. Like our local churches are, do free classes. Again, I think it's like with a

donation, like the library, a bit of a donation to the church. But definitely see if there's any free groups around by you. Yeah. We do have a walking mum's club in our in our local area. where mum's just walk with their prams around the block. So they're walking together. And I think that's really, really lovely. Yeah. Maybe I should start a walk in Mum's Club. Yeah.

Yeah. You maybe's probably old now. Maybe stream the... What? I'll be the leader of the pack. I'll be the leader. I'll be like, Mom, I don't want to lay the Carriott anymore.

I'm bored. I want to run around. I'm 25, Mum, for fuck sake. Let it go, women. Let me live. So what did you do on your maternity day? leave and let us know. Email us hello at secretmumpod.com or we're SecretMumpod on TikTok and Instagram.

And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. And we'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Month Club. Babba-ba-Bap-Bap-Bap-Bah. Hi, I'm Jack Remington. And I'm Ash Home. And this is The Jack and Ash Show. chaos and frippery

that only proper best friends can offer plus some good more likely bad advice for anyone who needs it and even if you don't need it we'll still give it to you so if you're short of a best friend or just need a fair one get involved search the jack and ass show now because who doesn't need another bestie

watch and listen to new episodes every Friday