Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Mooncup Mishap

Episode Date: July 17, 2025

There are plenty of highs and lows in this week’s episode, from a magical birth that helped heal past trauma, to a Mooncup mix-up that’ll leave you howling. Plus, the ladies hear from a listener facing the joy of a surprise pregnancy while carrying the weight of guilt for her friends still trying.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is the Secret Mom Club. I'm Safina and I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursdays episode where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. We'll squeeze your bits, all of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories to keep you going through the weekend. Shall we jump on in? It's time for another correspondence corner. Twisted it up today. Thinking of you bits. So Emma, let's have the first one. All right.

This is from Hannah in the Isle of Wight. She got in touch a while ago telling us that she was pregnant with her second baby. Do you want to recap? Hannah was our lovely lady who is concerned that she might feel guilt for the first bubba. That's right. Feel guilty that her two year old wasn't the baby anymore. Also, if I remember correctly, Hannah also had an emergency C-section and was slightly worried because she had had PTSD and postnatal depression.

She had quite a traumatic birth experience with her first. And left her with the PTSD and the postnatal depression, but she wanted to give the V back a go. A go. And I'm excited for this. I'm really excited because she was due in July and we're now firmly smack bang in the middle of July. Yes, we are. Okay. Are you ready for this? Yes. And we're now firmly. Smack bang in the middle of July. Yes, we are.

OK, are you ready for this? Yes, I am. All right. She says, hey, ladies, I messaged before about my previous birth and the trauma and not knowing which route to take with my second baby. We remember. Well, I opted for an elective cesarean

at the beginning of July, but little miss made an early appearance due to preeclampsia. It ended up being a semi-elective C-section. And honestly, it was the most magical experience. Oh Hannah. Oh Hannah I'm so glad. The birth has completely healed the trauma from my first and I feel over the moon with how everything went, all things considered.

Meet your newest little fan, Arabella Rose. Oh my gosh, we've got a picture. Look at the picture. Oh, hold on a minute Hannah, why do you look so fucking great? You look really fresh. I hope there's a filter on that because that's not fair. I don't think so. If you look that good after giving birth. I think she just looks that divine.

Glowing and look at her. That baby looks so clean. Arabella. She looks lovely and healthy as well. She looks lovely, healthy size. She's like, oh, she just looks so fresh. She looks fresh out of that baby. She looks like when they use a newborn baby in a TV show and they're like really clean and like their skin's lovely and rosy. Yeah, when they give birth on the telly and they just come out

and you're like, where is all the funny butter? And they're actually like three months old. No funny butter. No funny butter, no blood, no nothing. Just come out fresh. No nothing. Oh my gosh. Oh, she looks so perfect. So we were going to go VBAC and give that a try, but we didn't.

We decided to opt for the elected. We went for, obviously, the pre-clamps here, and we had a semi-elected. Semi-elected. And that means that you didn't... She had no choice. She had to get her out for the safety of Arabella because it's pre-clamps here, isn't it? Right. And that's obviously very critical.

So it wasn't planned like a planned C section, but it wasn't an emergency one either. No. In between. So she decided at the start of July that she was going to have the planned C section, So it wasn't planned like a planned c-section, but it wasn't an emergency one either. No. It's like in between. So she decided at the start of July that she was going to have the planned c-section, did she say? I'm pretty sure Hannah said that. She said she was going to have it, but then the baby came early.

But then she came early because of the preeclampsia. So she'd kind of, it was kind of in the, it was in the, what's the, I'm waving my fingers at you. In the ether? It was in the plan. It was in the plan. It was the plan. That was what was written what was written in the stars it was written in the stars perfection oh and I'm just so so utterly so utterly over the moon that she has arrived safe and sound she's so cute Hannah says I really appreciate you both and the comfort your podcast brings my eldest even sings along to

the tunes now and belts out correspondence corner oh Corner. Hannah, I feel like we need to be heard. Please record that. Please record. We need her every week just to be the Correspondence Corner. Can you imagine? We should play that clip in. Yeah, you know like when the children at school win, they can do competitions at school to win to be the voice of the school answer phone. Can they? I would have loved that. Hannah, I think we need to get a competition in place where we could win the correspondence corner. We're gonna be out of a job. Voice of the month.

Be out of a job, mate. Shit, this is exciting. Oh, congratulations to you all. I'm just absolutely, and I hope your eldest is loving big sister life. Yeah. Oh gosh, this is too much. Oh, what a way to start the day.

I know. Beautiful. We love a baby story. Thank you, Hannah. All right. Thank you. We've got another message here from Kerry. She says, hello, wonderful ladies. Hello. Hello. I've just been listening to the pod

and heard Sophie say she's nervous about joining the gym. I wanted to share my story because I totally relate. I'd always feared the gym. I tried so many over the years, but never felt comfortable enough to actually do what I went there to do. That will change about 18 months ago when I saw an ad for beginner group PT sessions. Oh.

It was a four week program and I loved it so much that I signed up again. Stop. After that, I joined the gym properly and I've honestly never felt better in myself. It's mostly class based, but there's also space to do your own thing. The instructors know everyone by name and are genuinely the most amazing people. Other members are so supportive too. They'll give you a little push when you need it. My advice would be to look for a smaller independent gym rather than a big chain.

I find them much more welcoming and supportive. Good luck on your journey, Kerry. Kerry, God bless you. Are you local to me, Kerry? Yes. Can I join your group? Will you accept me? I need to know because this just sounds right up my street.

I've never heard of a group PT session. Do you know what? I really love the fact that she said independent because I have actually been looking at some independents. But the only thing I can find, I can't really find independent gyms, I can only find a personal independent home PT. And I don't know how I feel about them coming to my house. I think a one-to-one PT is quite intense. I think I quite like the idea of leaving the house to do my endorphin increase.

Leaving the house to do it, and also I think doing it with other people would be really nice. And I don't really ever leave the house. So that's the problem. I don't really want to do a PT session. I don't want to work at home, live at home, PT at home. I need to broaden my horizons. Yeah, you need to get out of it. Get out and shrug the grass.

But this sounds wonderful, Kerry. And I wish we were local because I would be there. I'm sure you can find that. I mean, if Kerry's three hours from me, is it worth the three hour drive? I don't know. I like the group element though. I think it dilutes it a little bit because when it's just one on one, it can be quite intense, can't it?

Whereas like a group one, it's a little bit like a PE lesson. I'm hoping Charlotte's just going to reach out and just go, look girl, should we gym together? Charlotte from Football Fantastic. Yeah. Just hope she just takes. She'll have you join in a football team before long. Takes me off.

I'll do it. Anything that involves Charlotte, to be honest. Maybe just like Charlotte was saying, maybe the gym's just not your jam. Like maybe you do need to join a team or something. I think I have to at least try though. Maybe try it once. If the children tell me I don't like that,

then you've never tried it. I just don't look at it. I know I don't like it. That's me, I look at the gym and I go, don't like it.'ve never tried it. If I were the children, tell me I don't like that, didn't I? You've never tried it. I just don't look at it. I know I don't like it. That's me, I look at the gym and I go, don't like it. It's not for me. It's not for me, something in that tastes like shit. Something in that gym feels like shit,

not going in there. On my face. Well, thank you, Carrie. Thank you, Carrie. That's really, do you know what? All jokes aside, that is actually generally really helpful. So I appreciate you. Thank you so much.

That is great advice. All right, one last message. It says, hi, Safina and Emma. Hello. When I had my first baby 18 months ago, I found your podcast and it was exactly what I needed to get through the whirlwind of new motherhood. Oh, God bless you. I've been meaning to message for a while, but now that we're very unexpectedly pregnant with our second. Holy moly. This is so exciting. The first trimester insomnia has kicked in. So I'm using the time to send in a message. I just listened to the episode where Emma talks about her new moon cup,

and it reminded me of a funny and mildly horrifying story. Where my daughter was about eight months old, she was having a bath while my husband kept an eye on her. I was frantically tidying the house before she was done when I suddenly heard, what is that in your mouth? Followed by a panicked, oh, my goodness, spit it out. I ran to the bathroom to find my husband trying to wrestle something small, see-through and silicon out of her mouth. And to my absolute horror, I realized it was my moon cup. Oh my life. I rinsed it earlier that morning

and left it to dry, but apparently our cleaner, oh no. Oh God. You should put it in the kitchen. Our cleaner thought it was a bath toy and popped it in with the rest. After we got it out, I had to explain to my husband what it actually was. Oh, he didn't know. He didn't even know. He was horrified. I've only ever told one person this story

because I'm utterly mortified. But then again, she did technically come from there anyway. That's true. Yes, exactly. She's had vagina juice in her mouth already. She's had funny batter. She doesn't need to worry. Thank you both for what you do. You're a safe haven for moms and you'll never know just how much your podcast helps.

Anonymous. Oh, anonymous. I'm on the verge of crying every day at the moment. So this will make me cry. You can't be nice to me because that was sweet, isn't it? Yeah. Sorry about that. Should I take that bit out? No, leave it in there. It's that was sweet isn't it? Yeah sorry about that. Should I take that bit out? No leave it in there. It's just a vine isn't it?

Thank you Anonymous and that is a cracker. That is a cracker. Absolute cracker. That is up there with being phenomenal. I would do a moon cup just for that. Just to hope that one day this would happen. That's the kind of thing that would happen in your house. Yeah one million percent. Very chaotic.

Very chaotic. I mean we play with tampons in my house. Yes exactly. I can see dots with a moon cup in her mouth. Yeah. Or just stuck to the middle of their head and they're like, we're robots. You know, one of those things. Do you remember you used to stick those things to your head and they used to make a massive circle like a... Or you'd have those little dots to like throw at the wall. You'd stick them to your head, but they used to create such a suction, you'd have like a big hickey in the middle of your thought. Yeah, big circle on your head. Yeah.

Kids are wild, aren't they? We were wild. We were. Now kids are just not like us, aren't they? We were wild. We were. Now kids are just not like us, are they? They're built different. Are they different? Well, Cobby would never lick something, shove it on the middle of his forehead.

Oh no, my children are still quite feral. And run around like, oh, I used to do it with my toothbrush. Remember a sucky toothbrush? I think I've done it to the children once. And they're like, oh, get off my head. We're unicorns. Oh, grow up.

Well, thank you so much. That is definitely tickled. That is a good one. That's a good one. I love that one. I'll be careful where I keep my moon cup. Thank you so much for your messages. If you have any comments, thoughts or funny stories, why not get in touch?

You can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or we're Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And next it's time for one of your, your secrets. You should be, you should be scared. Be afraid, be very afraid. Welcome back. We love a secret on the Secret Mom Club. And you're all so good at sharing. So Emma, what have you got for us this week? Alright, this one comes from Anonymous. It says, hey girlies, first of all, I love you. Oh, thank you. In capital letters.

We love you. Thank you. God bless you. Oh, I'm a brand new mum. Seven weeks and five days. Welcome to the club, my girl. And I'm so grateful for the pod. Oh.

Bit of a backstory before my secret. I was in a seven-year relationship with my high school sweetheart that ended last summer. Oh. I was heartbroken and I really lost myself for a while. During that relationship I was diagnosed with endometriosis and PCOS and had multiple surgeries and was told I'd likely need IVF if I ever wanted kids. We never used protection and never got pregnant. After the breakup I focused on myself and my business.

But then this guy, someone I vaguely knew from school and would bump into at the pub, started chatting to me more. He was always sweet and respectful and one night told me he'd love to take me out if I was ever ready. Eventually, around New Year, I said yes. And honestly, I've never looked back. Three months in, I had a surprise pregnancy, which sadly ended in a miscarriage. Given my medical history, I assumed that it was just a freak accident.

But then, in June, I found out I was pregnant again. Total shock. I told my partner and he screamed with joy, told his mates, raced around to see me and was so excited to start a family with me. It was the most joyful, surreal moment. Now here's where I'm struggling. I have two best friends who have been trying for babies

for over two years. They've had a really tough time and are going through fertility treatment. I feel so guilty that I've fallen pregnant by accident with someone I've only been seeing for under a year. I'm terrified to tell them. I feel like it could really hurt them or even ruin our friendship. Part of me wants to wait until I'm showing and can't hide it anymore just to give them more time to hopefully fall pregnant themselves. What would you do? Thank you for giving us a space to share this stuff. Love you both

so much. Anonymous. Oh my gosh. Wow. What a situation. Okay. I think from personal experience, and I feel like I can speak on this one, being that I do have polycystic ovaries, and being someone that has had a lot of my cervix removed due to self-development in my cervix, let's say, and I had a lot removed. I've had X-frozen and I was told I'd never have my own children. And of course you've had experience of miscarriage as well. And I have two also experienced miscarriage. So I feel like I couldn't relate more to this. I got told at the age of 23,

all of this up until I was 27. I just knew that my sister was going to carry my baby one day if I was 27. I just knew that my sister was gonna carry my baby one day if I was to ever meet Mr. Wright. And I was okay with that. I'd come to terms with that. It was a massive emotional roller coaster. But because I got told so young and I had the surgery and I froze my eggs and I did everything to cover myself, I was ready for my sister to be my surrogate.

She'd had her four children and she was ready to do that for me. I then met Chris and within three months we fell pregnant with Colby, which obviously we were elated because at one point it was like, I thought you couldn't have babies. We weren't doing anything to cover ourselves because I was like, look, we've both had our STI checks. We're brand new into a relationship. We had our checks, we looked after ourselves and we were kind of like, well, if it happened, it happened, but it's never going to happen because I,

I was on paper, was never ever going to have my own children. So I don't feel like I can not not talk on this. Like it's so, it couldn't be any closer to to my own experience. And being somebody that has, I don't even want to get upset. I spent a lot of my time because what was deemed as being somebody to have a baby older back then, like 27 then, was like, oh, you're having a baby at 27. I used to get all my mum's friends be like, God, have

you not met the one? Are you not having a baby yet? Or like, why are you 27? Christ, you're nearly 30 and you've not had a baby. Which may I just add is totally fucking fine. And also somebody sat here at 36 who's had a baby and Emma, both of us. I would have if I did have so many health complications, I would most definitely have myself a fourth baby. You know, I don't feel like my heart is ever shut off to that. So I don't, there's no age on, I don't want anyone to think I'm putting an age on any of this, but people used to ask me and it broke my heart and I watched everyone, everyone around

me have a baby. It didn't hurt me. It didn't hurt. And I think looking back now, it hurts me now, looking back, because I think I was never honest in that moment about how it was making me feel. And I'd either be really, really happy about it, I'd be really, really sad. But one thing I will always say is I was really grateful for everybody's honesty. I was really grateful that people from the get-go was like, this is going to be really fucking hard, but I have to tell you because I love you more than anything in the world, but I am pregnant. And I respected that so much.

So regardless of whether I cried or whether I was elated in that moment, because leading on I obviously was elated for them, but in that moment it was either an instant reaction of feeling so upset or feeling really happy. But I really respected them. And so if it was somebody that's been there and I've lived it and I've done it, I would say, tell them sooner rather than later. I agree. Cause I think as women, if we put it on the table and say, look, this is gonna be really fucking hard. It's nothing I ever expected.

It was nothing planned. Do I think it's gonna go one or two ways or if they're gonna take it really well or they're not gonna take it well at all. But I think you deserve that for yourself. Like taking your friends out of this equation, you really deserve this for yourself. You've been through so much.

And I think from everything that you've told us, me looking at this is, you're not putting yourself as the priority and you're thinking of your friends, which is so lovely, but you are the only person that is a priority to yourself and that baby is a priority to you. So scream from the rooftops, I would say, I think talk about it, be honest with everybody and the ones that are going to stick by will stick by. Yeah. Yeah. I think that was very beautifully put. Was it? Yeah. Oh, really good advice. It's just a topic that's really, really close to my heart. And I just think, yeah. And

I lost a lot. And I'll be really honest, I did lose a lot of people. I lost a lot of people that I didn't necessarily lose them because I told them I was pregnant. I think I lost them because I was just the one friend that wasn't having any babies. Because yours friends had kids younger, right? So by the time you had Colby, they had older children. I wasn't the friend that had any babies. I was the friend that no one wanted to invite out anymore because, well, she doesn't have children,

she don't get it. I was an auntie and let me tell you, I fucking auntied, I auntied hard. And I still auntie, I still auntie hard. And I had those babies, whatever opportunity it could help my sister. I couldn't be anybody better to be around your child because I was fucking super aunt. I take that to, you know, I hold that medal close to my heart is that I will say that I was the best auntie ever.

And I think no one wanted me around because I was just the one with no children rather than just giving me the respect of being like, do you know what, this is really fucking shit. So if I can't have an auntie by blood, I'll have an auntie by friendship, you know? And no one gave me that. And the ones then that wanted to know me when I then fell pregnant,

because there was also on the other spectrum, there was a lot of ones that didn't want to know me because their babies had all grown up and now they were like, they've got 13 year olds. And they're like, we've got nothing in common now. Yeah, so there was a lot of people that didn't want to know me then because now I wasn't in their remit

because I was 27 and old and having my baby. But the ones that wanted to be around, no. I showed two fingers too and now you can fuck off. I think you're right. I think the real friends should stick by you. They should be happy for you. Yeah, yeah. Like you say, you've been through a lot yourself.

So the real ones will stick around and I'll tell you when you have that baby, figuring out the real ones sooner rather than later, you'll one day, as painful as it is, you'll one day look back and you will cherish the ones you cut off early doors. And the ones you kept. And the ones you kept, yeah, most definitely.

So thank you. We're wishing you all the luck and And the ones you kept. And the ones you kept, yeah, most definitely. So thank you. We're wishing you all the luck in all the world. Oh yeah, congratulations. We are honestly elated for you. What a wonderful fairy tale. I know, how exciting. So exciting. Have you ever had a head hickey?

Bet you didn't see that coming, did you? Well, I have. So join me in my club and do let me know. You can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram and don't forget to follow us wherever you're listening. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday and we'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode and we'll see you next time on the Secret Mumpod Club.