Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Movie Mix-up

Episode Date: April 24, 2025

The ladies take a trip down TV memory lane after one listener’s VHS disaster sparks a wave of nostalgia. A potty training trick dredges up a grim memory for Soph, and they offer some heartfelt advice to a listener battling with mum guilt. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh hi Greg James. Hi Alice Levine. People might know you from the rounders podcast you do. It's cricket and people will know you I guess from oh my dad's in a scandal, whatever. Rude. Anyway, whatever podcasts you listen to you are going to love this. We're here to tell you about the UK's biggest podcast festival, Crossed Wires. Great radio voice. It's three days of your favourite podcast shows all in iconic venues across Sheffield from the 4th to the 6th of July.

Let me give you some of the line up. Go on. So Grimmy and Angela Hartnett are going to be doing Dish live. Amazing. We're also going to have We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson. On the Sofa. The Corrie one. Secret Mum Club. And Drunk Women Solving Crime.

We should also say We Have Hell By Sex To My Boss but it sold out so quickly I'm almost loathe to mention it. Well then don't mention it but actually I'm glad you did because that's a reminder if you don't get tickets now you might not get them. Crossed Wires is a weekend of live podcast shows but also free performances, after parties. We're generally just gonna have a really lovely time. Tickets are on sale now head to crossedwires.live to get yours. That's crossed, C-R-O-S-S-E-D, wires, the usual spelling, then a full stop, then the word live. Is that clear? His brains and beauty. This is the Secret Mom Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursdays episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. We'll squeeze your bits.

All of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories. To keep you going through the weekend. Shall we jump on in? Are you ready? Are you ready? Are you ready to dive in? I'm ready. I feel like I just want to go, you know, when people go muff diving, dive right in. Are you ready? Ready to dump in. I'm ready. I'm knees deep.

Do you know what that's from? What are you ready? Yeah. Gladiators. X factor. Is it? You know, when Cheryl was like, are you ready? I'm ready. You look ready. I'm ready. Every time we in step and I leave the house, we do that whole, um, die. Love that for you. Thanks. Right. It's time for another correspondence. Go on, girl. Take it away with number one. All right. This one is from Gabby. Hello, Gabby. She says, hi, soap and Emma talking about keeping sentimental children's stuff. My mom used to have videos of me and my sister from when we were little. They were in a box with some movie videos and my mom accidentally took them to the charity shop. What? Not realizing my baby videos were in there. I was devastated, especially because somehow my

sister's videos weren't in the box that got donated. So someone out there possibly got videos of me instead of a Disney movie. Oh, that's awful. That's really sad. I bet she's the second born. Yeah. You wouldn't do that for your first child, would you? You wouldn't just throw them in with the other VHS. Oh, don't care what's on there. Do you know what though? You might've had as a 90s child a similar situation whereby someone on holiday stole our camcorder and stole all of our children's footage. We did have our camcorder stolen, but also the VHS was just like something you would tape a normal TV program onto.

Yes, gladiators used to take over all of our... Honestly, halfway through a lot of our baby videos, it's just like... Do you feel the power? I think gladiators... Oh great, I'd rather see... Why can't I take my first steps? I'd rather see Jet and Falcon than like, yeah, my first steps, exactly. Ours is always the bill.

There'd be an episode of the bill. Mine was heartbeat was Heartbeat. Heartbeat. Heartbeat. What do you miss when my baby kisses me? I've been there. Fucking hated that show. But I could only stay up to 6.30

if I sat and watched Heartbeat. How much does Heartbeat, I bet other people at our age will resonate with this. It really reminds me of a Sunday night having my hair washed ready for school the next day and having my nails cut. And my nails cut, my hair was probably put in rollers and I used to have a jam rolly poly with custard while we watched it. That's a lovely nostalgic image. Really really nostalgic. We were getting our hair blow dried actually

and my mum would be doing the ironing of the school shirts. Yes, my mum would be doing the ironing of the school uniform. Yeah, very nostalgic. I can taste it and smell it at the moment. And when you watch it, when it green grass. Yeah, we went there in the Yorkshire Dales. Did you? IRL. Now I feel like it's leveled up.

It's now Emmerdale. Emmerdale. Yeah, that was out there as well. Yeah, but I think my dad was heartbeat now he's Emmerdale. Oh, right. Yeah, he's leveled up. Because it's gone. It's a very handsome chap, the main main guy wasn't he? Nick? What's his name? Is it police officer? Right? Listen, I only remembered green grass. I don't want to push it to the police officer. I feel like

who was the, who was the police officer? The main character. That was his real name in real life. I don't know. I think he was really handsome. Wasn't it? And where is he now? When he in two pints of lager... No, he wasn't in that, was he? Two pints of lager in a packet of crisps. That's also another nostalgic... That was a little bit later. Yeah, sure. But yes, taping over VHS is it's a problem of us children of the eighties. It's them millennials. That's how we live our life. That's how we rolled. That's how we rolled babies. Our kids now are going to be like, what? Why is everything on your phone? Yeah.

Now, Renly started talking to the phone and he does a... Blah, blah, blah. Does he hold the actual phone or does he pretend one? And then he looks at it and he's like... Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah. And then changes ears. Blah, blah, blah. And then he taps the screen. Oh yeah. Sadie is obsessed with my phone. Even now, like Colby will do the telephone. Like he'll do the telephone. Cause I feel like that's me. Yeah.

Rennie's literally going to be like. Yeah. Well when Sadie does the high. Or Dottie does this. Or she'll hold all this. Yeah cause that's how you hold the phone. When Sadie mimes a phone, she does the flat iPhone. Cause obviously she's never seen a real phone. Rennie just grabs any object. Yeah, she's like, hiya, hiya.

We don't say no words. Oh no. Or ma'am. That's what it does. It's making me die at their age at the moment. That they'll say stuff with like such intent, but they're not saying anything. No. So I can tell she's really trying to get herself across and she's like, I'm like, oh, okay.

Okay. Yes. Renly's yeah, comes with such passion and aggression. Like what are you saying? Oh, he does say, points. I get it. I get it. It's really fucking hard. Isn't it? What we're going to do when she wants something I've got, she points out if it's just still says higher, higher for everything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be like holding a bit of food. She's like, hi, hi, hi. Give that

to me. What should you fucking bitch give that to me? You greedy bitch. Put some in my mouth. Um, okay. Well, thank you. Gabby. Gabby resonated with you, but that went off and that went off in a tangent. Gabby. We resonated with you, but that went off in a tangent. That went off in a tangent, Gabby. We are so incredibly sorry, but that's a really sad memory. Very sad for you. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you've lost all of that footage. Sorry that that happened to you.

But I would like to say I'm here with your sister. Thirdborn, they probably deliberately taped Gladiators over me. For fucking hell. Seen it three times now, didn't you, Seoh. Or just even by us, they weren't recording stuff. No. They were like, fuck that. I've seen it three times now, I don't need to see her walk. Or just even by us, they weren't recording stuff. They were like, fuck that, I've seen it twice before. All right, this one says, hello, lovely ladies. I just listened to the episode where Emma was chatting

about toilet training woes, and it instantly reminded me of this product. Have you seen it? This looks like a- Do you want me to look? I think a baby urinal is how I would describe it. And it's a frog's mouth wide open. And I think you're supposed to aim at the frog's tongue, which is like a little ticker.

Right. Don't know how I really feel about this conversation. You want my son to pee into a tongue, frog's tongue. Yeah. Well, he goes, uh, I think this might get Joseph getting the right trajectory because he does love animals. No, see this. I just feel like if I was to put this on my wall, Renly would just take the opportunity to piss on every fucking wall known to mankind. Oh, it's my sister's bed. Yeah. I don't know how I feel about a urinal. What do you think it would teach them bad habits? It's like a chalkboard, chalkboard on the wall. I wanted to do a chalk paint wall where they can just chalk on it.

And then I thought, fuck this, they're gonna draw on every wall. Yeah. Yeah, no. Oh, I don't know. Has she got this product, Naomi? Did she say in her house? She said, thanks for all the laughs and entertainment, much love from across the pond, Naomi in Australia.

So she hasn't, she can't vouch for it. Naomi, can you try it out first? And let us know. Single-handedly you, not a child. I'd like to know how I've grown up. Do you know what I'm also worried about is that when Sadie cruises around now, she loves putting her hand around the toilet rim and it makes me feel sick. So if we hadn't opened your urinal, she'd be in there. We're not for sharing secrets this week, but this is an oldie but a goldie. Dottie picked up the urinal soap and put it in her mouth. What's urinal soap? There's little dissolvable

discs that sit in the urinal. I feel like only men can describe what these are. They're just little lumps of fragrance that just sit in the urine tray of the urinal. She put it up. What was she doing in there? Because Chris, when he had to take the children out on his own and needs a pee, he has to take them into the men's toilet. What do you do them while you're taking a pee? Let them just run around the men's lavatory. She took the urinal soap. Oh God, that makes me feel so sick.

Men's wee as well is pungent. Think of all the pubes and the urinal as well. All the pubes. I remember my dad used to have to take us into a male toilet. Emma, I can't I don't think I can do this. He'd put his hand over our eyes and be like walk walk walk walk walk straight into the cubicle. Don't look at anyone's willy. And then we'd have to go on the toilet and he'd go, don't touch anything. Don't actually sit on the toilet seat. Just hover. Men's toilets are rank. Disgusting. Don't touch anything. Don't look at anything. I do say to Chris though, you know, I know there are probably people that come for me.

I do, you know, I've grown up with my mum being disabled and she is registered disabled. But I just say to Chris, if you're on your own with the baby, just go to the disabled loo. In the Wesky shopping centre, there is a children's changing area. And I always say to him, just go in the children's tree. Why is it said, it's the cocktail, so fucking still got to me. It's the, I just say to him, take him to the children's changing area.

Why are you trying to take him in the men's smelly, pissy toilets? No offense men, but you, them little hoses, they're just piss gets everywhere, doesn't it? Them little hoses? Them little hoses, yeah, they'll beew. What would you do with a willy for a day? That's the topic for another time.

Oh gosh. Well, thank you, Naomi. Thank you, Naomi. Maybe we should try it because he is still on a sit down. We, I don't know. I'm, I'm, I'm partial to Chris sit down. We, yeah. I'm partial to that.

He's so high up from the toilet though. That is a hose and off. That is fucking sprinkler all over the show. I'd rather just keep it clean. This one is from Maddie. She wrote in a lovely message saying how much the podcast helped her through postpartum depression in the very itchy legs episode.

Oh Maddie. She says, hello again. Hello. I wanted to share that our little girl, Callie, made her arrival via scheduled C-section on March the 31st. Big brother Ford loves reading her stories and giving her her blankie. Thanks again for all you do.

Look at the picture. Oh, is there a picture? There's a picture. Oh my gosh, look at Kelly. Oh, look at, it's Ford, isn't it? Oh, he's got a t-shirt saying Big Brother Club. Club, oh. Oh, you all look so well.

Maddie, you look wonderful. Oh, look at look so well. Maddie, you look wonderful. Oh, look at that newborn squish. Oh my gosh. Don't they just look like the happiest? Oh my God, I can't cope. Listen, I've had a few cocktails today. If you listened to last week's episode, you'll know we've been trying out some new cocktails and I, this is emotional territory. I know. When I see people with the really brand new newborns again, it makes me so sad. I'm so jelly and I just think, oh, one more. Just one little one more. One small little one, one more. Two big ones, two little ones.

It gets to the age they are now and I think, no. I don't know. I'm already knee's deep with a one year old. One more, Chrissy, one more. Absolutely. There you go. He said yes. He would always say yes. Chris would just keep going and going and going. Absolutely.

I thought he was gonna say absolutely not. No. He's the best dad in the whole entire world. He loves it, doesn't he? He loves it. He's a wonderful dad. Do you want another baby? If it's a boy. If it's a boy.

But Dottie will only have it if it's a girl. Okay, so someone's gotta lose. Two girls, two boys. Two girls, two boys. Two girls, two boys. Need another girl, Nick. Double bubble. I think it would be another boy though. Do you?

Yeah, I think we're going to. We're destined to have the boys. We're lucky with little miss Dot, bless her. But Maddie. Oh, thank you, Maddie. Thank you so much. How beautiful. Such a beautiful little family.

You honestly look wonderful. That after baby glow, it's extra special. It's so funny, isn't it? Because like you've probably never been more tired. Never more tired, never more smelly, never more feeling so unlike yourself, but you just glow like no other. It's the hormones.

It's the hormones, they're just doing this. Thank you, Maddie. We really hope you're doing well. And Ford is loving being a big brother. And we hope that Callie settled into this world perfectly. So thank you so much for all your messages. If you have any comments, thoughts or funny stories, why not get in touch? You can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or we are Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram.

Next, it's time for one of your... Are you playing footsie with me under the table? Yeah. You floozy. I am. I felt you. Next, it's time for one of your secrets. Oh, hi Greg James.

Hi Alice Levine. People might know you from the rounders podcast you do. It's cricket and people will know you, I guess, guess from, oh my dad's in a scandal, whatever. Rude. Anyway, whatever podcasts you listen to, you are going to love this. We're here to tell you about the UK's biggest podcast festival, Crossed Wires. Great radio voice. It's three days of your favourite podcast shows, all in iconic venues across Sheffield from the 4th to the 6th of July. Let me give you some of the line up.

Go on. So Grimmy and Angela Hartnett are going to be doing Dish live. Amazing. We're also going to have We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson. On the Sofa. The Corrie one. Secret Mum Club. And Drunk Women Solving Crime. We should also say We Have Hell By Sex To My Boss, but it sold out so quickly I'm almost loathe to mention it.

Well then don't mention it. But actually I'm glad you did because that's a reminder if you don't get tickets now you might not get them. Crossed Wires is a weekend of live podcast shows but also free performances, after parties, we're generally just going to have a really lovely time. Tickets are on sale now head to crossedwires.live to get yours that's crossed C R O S S E D wires the usual spelling then a full stop, then the word alive. Is that clear? His brains and beauty. Welcome back. It's a quick reminder before we get into the extra secret of the week,

we're doing a live show at Crossed Wires Festival. Emma, I don't think this is going to sink in for me until we're in Sheffield. The time is nearing. Yeah. It's right before our birthday. So I feel like we can't even get excited about our birthdays because we've got to do a live show before our birthdays. Yes. And we're excited. Not terrified. A little bit stressed. I stressed. I don't even think I'm stressed. I'm terrified. Yeah. Bring in all the poop choppers.

But those first show nerves from the last time we did it, it's quite nice. What? I terrified. I terrified you. I terrified. I'm terrified of you. I is terrified.

I is terrified. No, it'll be fun. It's going to be so good. And it terrified. I is terrified of you. No, it'll be fun. It's gonna be so good. And it's happening on the afternoon of Saturday, the 5th of July at the Playhouse Theater in Sheffield. And you can join us for a big old afternoon of chaos. It's going to be chaos, isn't it? Yeah.

It's gonna be wild. The last live show was... Chaotic. But fun. Are you bringing anybody this time? No. Fuck me, Emma. Nobody will be invited.

Yeah, they are. I'm gonna invite the sissies. And do you know what? I'm gonna invite mom and dad as well. My mom and dad? Yeah, I am. All right. Steve and Nick, they're coming.

Yeah, bring them along. Okay, fine. Family trip to Sheffield is. Family trip to Sheffield. Let's do it. Tickets are on sale now. Head to crossedwires.live to grab yours or find all the details on our socials

at Secret MomPod on Insta and TikTok. Right. This is a very, very serious secret this week. So we're gonna just pre-warn before we get into this, we don't know it, you're gonna read it to me, but I want to let everybody know that this is a serious secret that we're gonna get into. So we're gonna get into this right now

and Emma, you're gonna take it away, please. This comes from anonymous and it says, Hi both, I just wanted to share something that's been weighing on me, something I know many parents can relate to, mom guilt. In 2022, my son who was 12 at the time was diagnosed with cancer. Our world flipped upside down.

Every moment became a battle, not just for his health, but for balance, strength and trying to hold everything together. Through hospital stays, treatments and constant worry I did what any mum would do, I fought for him but in the quieter moments that guilt crept in. Did I miss something? Could I have done more? Was I giving enough attention to my other kids, my partner, myself? Thankfully he's now in remission but just as we began to breathe again he was diagnosed with autism. A new journey, new questions, and the guilt came rushing back. Had I misunderstood his needs all along? Had I been so focused on his health that I'd missed the signs?

He doesn't go to school anymore, and while I know it's what he wants, I can't shake the feeling it might not be right. I'm constantly wondering if I'm making the wrong decision. What I've learned is this. Guilt follows love, but being a good mum isn't about getting it all right. It's about showing up, loving unconditionally and doing your best with what you know at the time. I don't know if I'm asking for advice or just needed to let it out, but thank you for creating a space that allows us to feel seen. Oh, what an absolute.

God you've been on a journey. Been on a massive journey. And do you know what? There is no advice to give, but this is a place where we can talk. And I feel honored that you can even message in, let us know, talk to us about it and be confident in an outlay because I think that's what we don't have in this world is enough of a safe environment to just have an outlay to just let, let this all out. Yeah. Um, firstly, I just, I just want to commend you on how,

I mean you've been through like, it's just listening to it. I would say from an outsider, if I was to, if we were strangers in the street and we met in the street, I would just put an arm around you and just say, in my personal experience as a mum, I would think I would have done exactly the same. I think everything you have done from me has been absolutely perfect. What else can you do? What else can you do? And I think you just need to follow the lead. And I think sometimes, again, as we talk about this, I feel like there's so much pressure

that our children must go to school. They have to go to school. They have to get an education. They must get qualification. They must do this and they must do that. And I'm living proof that that means fuck all. That's not the right path for everybody. I went to school and I left with no qualifications. And I'm living proof that that means fuck all. That's not the right path for everybody.

I went to school and I left with no qualifications. I left with no friends, no qualifications. I literally left school with fucking nothing. I went with nothing and I left with nothing. I walked away with zero. And I just, and I'm always say to the children, as long as you go to school, you're kind to people, you do what you can and you learn what you can, really doesn't matter what you walk away with because

I'm living proof that I walked away with nothing, I gained everything the moment I left school. And I think, again, we're in a world where all we are talking about is you must get good grades from school, GCSEs must be great. Must go on to college. Must go do university. And that's what is programmed in. That's what the media wants us to see. That's what socials want us to see.

And I just, I'm not an advocate for that. Well, it's not right for everybody. It's not right for everybody. And I would say that it's the greater is it's not right for everybody. The latter is that everybody sticks to it and does it and goes to university. And that's wonderful. But I just don't, I think there should be more talk on the fact that it's not, it's really not the Beal and Endall. And you may find that once he's left school, he'll flourish. He'll flourish. And because it is hard. I find that going to school is hard. That regimental nine

to nine to three and you sit there and you go through science and you just dissect a frog or you cut open an eyeball or you learn about Shakespeare. I've not used fucking anything from school. I haven't used a protractor or a compass. Why the fuck am I taking it? Or a set square. Or a set square. I haven't used none of that since I left school. So I do think, trust him. I think he is showing you. And again, I think as well,

we're doing a lot to parent the children, where in fact, I think a lot of us being parents, we learn from the children. We're navigating our life through them. They're showing us the way, they're showing us the new trends or the new things in life or now that emojis mean different things. I'm learning through my nieces, my nephew,

I'm learning through my children. They're now taking me through the steps of life because now it's a whole new pattern for me. And I think he is just in a roundabout way showing you the way. And I think you just need to buckle up, trust his lead. And I think from what I've gathered, you've done everything you can to get him into an incredibly great place. You've been strong, which is in turn made him strong.

Yeah. I mean, through like the feeling guilty that you might've missed the autism through dealing with the cancer and the treatment of that. Like, no, like if your child gets diagnosed with cancer and you've got to go through that. Like, no, like if your child gets diagnosed with cancer and you've got to go through months or years of treatment, like do not blame yourself for missing other things. Like you're just trying to get through that and live day to day and survive and keep your other kids alive.

And, you know, don't feel guilty about stuff you may have missed. You can only do so much. It's not even a miss, it's just the next hurdle. It's just the next step. So I don't think you need to feel any guilt for that. I think from what we can gather from this is that you've done literally fantastic.

Like you've got him through this, he's now in remission. And I think as a mom or as a parent, no matter what you do, you will always feel guilty. Literally. There will be nothing in life. Every little thing, like every little decision you agonize over and you've actually been through two huge things. Huge.

So you're obviously gonna be having all these feelings and these emotions, but that is totally normal. Totally normal. And you can only do what you can do. You can only do so much, you know. I blamed myself for a car accident that wasn't my fault. Yeah, because your kids were in the car. You probably felt like you put them at risk,

but you couldn't have done anything. There's literally, I don't think we're ever going to get away from it, but I think everything you've done has been fantastic. And I think right now it's your turn to maybe just follow his lead, give him the little bit of he's 12. Like this is his time now to shine. He's going into, he's preteen, just let him. Well, he's now, he was 12 when he was diagnosed with cancer.

That was 2022, so he's now going to be like 15. 15, I definitely think it's your time to follow his lead and just let him have that little bit of independence. Like he's gone through, as much as you as a mom, he's been through a lot for a little boy. He's been through this, he's been through this. So kind of now is your time to maybe take a backseat without taking a backseat and kind of just know

that you've done everything and be proud of where he is. He survived this, he's got through this. And I just think, yeah, maybe it's time to just take a little bit of a breather and just let him find his way through life, navigate his way through and just reap the benefits of the incredible boy that you've created because you got him here and now it's his time to shine you know yeah so well done well done mama you done great

how do you deal with mum guilt please do let us know yeah you can email us hello at secret mum pod calm or we are Secret Mum Pod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. And we'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club. Oh, hi, Greg James. Hi Hi Alice Levine.

People might know you from the roundest podcasts you do. It's cricket and people will know you I guess from oh my dad's in a scandal, whatever. Rude. Anyway, whatever podcasts you listen to, you are going to love this. We're here to tell you about the UK's biggest podcast festival, Crossed Wires. Great radio voice. It's three days of your favourite podcast shows, all in iconic venues across Sheffield from the 4th to the 6th of July. Let me give you some of the line up.

Go on. So Grimmy and Angela Hartnett are going to be doing Dish live. Amazing. We're also going to have We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson. On the Sofa. The Corrie one. Secret Mum Club and Drunk Women Solving Crime. We should also say, we have Help I Sexed In My Boss, but it sold out so quickly, I'm almost loathe to mention it. Well then don't mention it. But actually I'm glad you did because that's a reminder.

If you don't get tickets now, you might not get them. Crossed Wires is a weekend of live podcast shows, but also free performances, after parties. We're generally just going to have a really lovely time. Tickets are on sale now. Head to crossedwires.live to get yours. free performances, after parties. We're generally just going to have a really lovely time.