Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Mum Brain Moments!

Episode Date: June 11, 2026

After one mum wrote in about forgetting to collect her food at the drive-thru, a flood of mum brain confessions comes rolling in, proving none of us are quite as organised as we'd like to think. Plus, the ladies read a heartfelt letter from a listener preparing to embark on her journey to motherhood through IUI, and share some words of encouragement ahead of her first appointment.Emma Spring Bank Holiday Sale is live! Get up to 25% off plus extra 5% using the code SECRETSLEEP at Emma Sleep.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina and I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursday's episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. Can't squeeze your bits today, honey. Squeeze them virtually. You're stuck in a computer screen. I'll still feel it.

You're in Wales. All of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories. To keep you going through the weekend. Shall we jump on in? You've got really good. Is it good? Horn sound. Yeah, I thought mine was good, but yours is... I'm horny, horny, horny, horny, horny.

Sal horny. Ha! Ha! No, sorry, mine's gone. Ha! Anyway. Right, it's time. For another. Curris, Banda.

Was that close enough to the mic for you? Actually, you're too close to the muff for that. Step back a bit. Step back from the muff. Take it back from the muff. Take it back now, y'all. Right, Emma. Take it away. Let's have the first one.

This says, hi girls. Hi, honies. I wrote in a few weeks ago about favoriteism in the family and I wanted to give you an update. Do you remember this? Yes. Yes. Favoritism among the grandchildren, wasn't it?

Yes. Okay. I've decided to keep myself to myself and let people make their own effort. Whoever wants to be involved can get to know our little dude and so far, so good. Everything is going great and there doesn't seem to be any favourism yet, thank goodness. Our handsome little boy arrived via elective C-section. He's an absolute dream and I never knew a love like this existed. Becoming a mum is something you can never truly.

explain until you experience it. But after listening to the belly button peg episode and hearing you ask for stories about meeting partners for the first time, I had to share mine. Yes! Right. I wonder if those two things are separate or linked. We met over a belly button peg. I can't wait to see how this turns out. Okay. I was 16 when I moved into a new house just before Christmas. I noticed there was a boy my age living a few doors up, but I was far too shy to say hello and I couldn't find him on social media. So instead I spent weeks secretly watching him from my brother's bedroom window until we finally bumped into each other. Fast forward almost eight years and we're now engaged, have built a life together and recently welcomed our little boy. Fairy tales really do come true even if they start with you stalking someone from your brother's bedroom window.

Thank you both for always being our safe space. Still anonymous, still hidden deep in the valleys and possibly still perched at a bedroom window keeping watch. Okay, there was no mention of belly buttons. I thought she was going to say. I thought she was going to say. I think it was just in that episode. In the episode. It was the belly button peg episode.

Sorry. I thought you were going to say you bonded over a weird love of like umbilical chords and I was going to be like, wow, you two are really meant for each other. We've kept our clips. We've kept our clips. We showed each other clips from the windows. Yeah. Look at my belly button.

I just loved his clip. Oh my God. That is adorable, isn't it? That's something you see in like an American movie, isn't it? I think it's a horror movie. No. Like in a, like, in a rom-com. Yeah, like in my girl or something like that.

Yeah. Although that one ends really sad. Yeah, maybe not that one. Not that one. But like the early stages of that film. Yeah. Like when they're just in the window and just, oh, gosh, that's adorable. And thank God it was reciprocated because he could, he might have been like,

have you been watching me. Yeah, why are you talking me? Maybe he did say that. And she was like, listen. You've been creep. I've seen you around. I've found you very attractive. Would you go to bed with me?

With me? Oh, do-da-da-da-da-da-da-da! Don't see that. No, they were 16. They were 16. It was very innocent. That's adorable, isn't it? Very sweet.

And look at you now. Look at you now. Although we didn't get the baby's name. No, but she's being anonymous. So it might, that could identify them because she's told us kind of where she is as well. Yes. Look, I'm glad. Congratulations on the baby.

I'm glad it's going smoothly with the family so far and all as well. We currently have no favouritism. I'm glad. he has arrived into the world safe and sound. Hopefully you recovered wonderfully from the C-section because that is a lot, isn't it? Yes. Elective C-section though.

So hopefully there was... Emergency or elective. I feel like a cesarean is a lot. It is a lot, but I'm hoping there was maybe a little less stress involved. If it was maybe elected. Yeah. Prepared for what was to come. But congratulations and welcome to Motherhood.

I always say motherhood's like a fucking high-speed train. you just got to get the fuck on, buckle the fuck up. It's going to go at a thousand miles an hour, literally, because you'll wake up one day and they're 10. And some other crazy people jump on in the meantime, but you've all just got to buckle the fuck up and ride the ride. Yeah, for 20 years you can never get up. Sit back and enjoy the ride.

20 years? It's a lifetime commitment, honey. Well, once my move down, that's it. I'm going to cut them off. You're 37 and you still very much. need Stephen Nick in your life. I'm still very dependent on my parents. Yes.

Yeah, my children, by the time I'm 60, I'm going to go and live abroad half the year. So good luck to your kids. Right. Okay, dokey. Welcome to motherhood. Only 18 more years to go, anonymous. Okay. Ready?

Right. Let's have our next one. One last message here. It says, hello ladies. I'm responding to Charlotte for getting her nuggets. I have an 11-year-old son and a 9-year-old daughter and so many children. and so many times after doing the food shop, we've all got out of the car, gone inside,

and completely forgotten the grocery is sitting in the boot. I think when the kids are chatting away, my mum brain has already moved on to the next task and forgotten the one I've just finished. My daughter always laughs and calls me Dory. We all have a good giggle before heading back outside to bring the shopping in. Can I still claim postpartum brain 11 years later?

Don't worry, Charlotte. We're all in this together. Thanks, Jen, from Long Island, New York. That's the kind of thing I would do. That's the kind of thing I would do. And then all the ice lollies would be melted. Yes. Or do you know what's even worse, which I remember my mum doing this quite a bit when we were younger.

Sorry, mum, I'm just going to throw you under the bus. She would pay for the shopping, but like leave stuff at the checkout or do you remember you could do like a collect later? So she would do like, we'd go all around town and then she'd be like, oh, I'll collect that later and you'd give your name. And then we'd just drive home. She'd be like my whole M&S shop is just sitting there, uncollected. In the store. Yeah. And that was like years after having kids.

So I don't think it ever leaves you. Mine is that I go and do a food shop and I think, well, now I'm out of the house, I might as well just go through the other shops on the way, on the route back. And then I get way laid and then I start going around shops. And I think, oh, I've seen this on social media and B&M. So I'll just quickly pop to B&M, then it's not at that B&M. So I think, well, the next one's only 20 minutes. So I'll pop to that B&M and see if they've got it.

And then when I'm down at that B&M, then there's a home sense and then a Dunelm. And then I think, oh, they haven't got at this Dunham. I'll go to the next Dunham. And then at that Dunham, there's a Matalan. And then before I know, I've been out of the house for 10 hours and the fucking chicken nuggets have seen better days. Or you go in to pick up one specific thing. And you're like, oh, must not forget. Like when we went to this barbecue with our friends the other day, Stefan was like, get ice lollies.

They've asked us to bring dessert. Okay, I went in there. I was like, get the ice lollies. Get the ice lollies. But then I had to go down the baby aisle to get baby snacks and nappies. Then I got caught by the special offers on the end of the aisle. Before I know it, I got back in the car, he was like, what lollies did you get? Oh, I'm just bringing this shopping back first.

Did you get the fucking lollies? But I can give them a load of nappies. And some baby snacks. And some baby crisps. Wafers. Yeah. Damn it. We're all in this together, Jen.

We really are. We really are all in this together. And it is, I think it's something that's just with us forever now. Yeah. I never leave you. Babies or no babies. I think it's just a thing with getting older. Yeah.

really hard to retain fuck loads of information, isn't it? And it's, I don't want to like be gender specific because in your house it might not be this way around but in my experience it is this way around most of the times

I think mums and women just take on a lot of the mental load of the household. And that's why we can't remember stuff is because we've got so much other shit going on inside our heads. Like, is there an inset day to day? Is it non-school uniform?

Joseph's got to wear pyjamas to school on Friday for some unexplained reason. And don't you forget that. And I better not forget that. Today you have to go in his PE kit, not in his school uniform. Why do they make these random rules? It's the walk of doom when you're walking to school. It's non-uniform day and your child is in their school uniform. Let me tell you, I've never run back to my car faster. You will get a late mark because I'm not taking you in on non-uniform day in school uniform. Yes. Nothing makes you feel more like a shit

parent. And then you're like, oh, it's so and so's birthday. We've got to go to a birthday party at the weekend right we better get a present have we got a card have we got the shopping in what we're going to have for dinner tonight it's just there's a lot it's just a lot it's a lot it is a lot but we're rolling this together honies we're rolling this together though and we know that we are or losing our minds yes and like grew i've really i tried to watch despicable four we've watched it despicable me four i didn't really enjoy it very much no oh no i was more than for the soundtrack because it's got some 80s bangers on it because it's all about

well I didn't really follow this story to be honest so you've just basically just stayed for the playlist I'm here for the playlist and it's got a lot of 80s songs in it because I think Gru is at a school reunion at the beginning so and that's I was talking about before we started recording about Joseph becoming obsessed with random songs he now really likes everybody wants to rule the world by tears for fears

because it's in the end of the film but it's a Minion's version so it's like everybody I'm like, do you know what? I'll take this over Mr. Tumble. Their tastes are moving on and I'm here for it. In the car, I'm like, do you want tears for fears? Yeah, great.

I'm into it. Thank you so much for your messages. If you have any comments, thoughts or funny stories, well, why not get in touch? Why not? The email is hello at secret mumpod.com and we're SecretMumpod on TikTok and Instagram. Next, it's time for one of your secrets on me. line today. Hey, hey, name the film, I got two pickles, two pickles, two pickles, two pickles, I got two pickles today. Oh, I don't know, give me a clue. Okay, hold on wait. Let me think of

another line. Dear Dala, I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You're the scar between my toes. Love alfalfa. Alfalfa? Yeah, alfalfa. Name the film. I don't know. Oh, little rascals. I don't even know that film. What the f- Welcome back. We love a secret in the secret mum club. And you're all so good at sharing. So Emma, what have you got for us today, honey?

Okay. This comes from Holly. And it says, Hi, ladies. I'm seeking some advice and I thought I'd come to your podcast because I believe at least one of your listeners may have been through what I'm about to embark on.

Last year, my long-term boyfriend dropped me off at work and then partway through the day. He texted me to say he'd packed all of his things and left. We were planning on starting a family this year and it completely took me by surprise. It left me and my eight-year-old daughter, not his, having a difficult Christmas, but we made it through and we are thriving. My daughter has always wanted a sibling, so I've started the journey into single woman I-Uy.

That's inter-uterine insemination, isn't it? Yes. Yes. I have my first appointment this month, and I'm extremely excited, but also very nervous. Holly. Holly, listen, what an absolute powerhouse. I am so sorry you've had to go through the... It's just not something you ever think is ever going to happen.

Yeah. Like everything is great. You're trying for a baby. He's obviously massively involved into Holly's daughter's life. Yeah. Like there's so many factors in this. And to just text as well, I just, I don't think I'll ever get my head around it. But obviously, we have to look at both sides of the story is that you don't know where people are at in life.

And that is always my concern is you don't know. know what someone's struggling with or what anyone's going through. But I'm just so incredibly sorry you had to go, you had to go through that. God, what a shock. I hope you, and I know you've said you're both doing well, but I generally do hope that you are doing incredible, the both of you. And I hope your daughter's okay and come into terms with it because that is a lot for them. It's a lot for children to have to go through that. It's such a sudden change, isn't it? Like just one day someone's here and the next day they're not. That's it.

He's packed all his stuff and he's gone. And that's hard enough like when it's just you in a relationship. But when you're thinking about your daughter as well, I can imagine how stressful that must have been. I mean, I like to think, you know, no matter what someone's going through, I'd like to think I deserved a bit more than a text. Yes, I would say a text.

I didn't want to be the one to say it, but now you've brought it up. I would have said that is possibly the most awful way to do it. Yeah, just have a conversation. Yeah, a conversation face. face. Anyway, it's sound like you're doing amazing. You do sound like you're doing amazing.

And in lighten news, I actually have somebody very, very close to me in my life, a very good friend who has had a baby all on her own. Wow, really? Using IUI? Yes. She has done it all. But IUI is someone sperm inseminated into you, isn't it? Yes.

So she knows her donor. She has, she obviously did all the process. Obviously, that's her. that's her story so I don't want to get into too much personal detail but she had her donor she has now had him she's had her baby but she is doing it all on her own she was she was turning 40 wanted to be a mummy hasn't found the right partner to do it with so just took the most incredible incredible um decision and has done it all on her own wow and she's amazing absolutely smashing it she is self-employed she's now got her little baby

who is six months old and he's doing wonderful. And yeah, I couldn't. I just had so much, like every time I saw her because she saw her, I don't see her too frequently, but I do see her, if that makes sense. I don't want to say too much as to people knowing the relation as to how I know her. But she basically just did it.

Every time I saw her, I just was blown away. I was blown away by the fact that every single midwife appointment, she did it on her own, every scan, she did it on her own. She never once was ever scared, sad, worried. She was so excited and she's now just absolutely smashing her. And I just think, I love that we have so many resources now in the fact that some people want to be a parent or be a, you know, be a mum or be a dad, but not necessarily want to be with somebody.

Yeah. How amazing that you have that option now. Like you might just want to do it on your own, but you might not have found your right person but you feel like you're ready to have a baby. How amazing that you can just do that. If you want to do that, you can just do it. You can just do it. Which I just find is so, just so fantastic, isn't it?

Yeah, it's amazing. I actually, Stefan used to work with a girl that did the same thing. And I used to see her at some baby classes in London. So she had a baby around the same age that I had Joseph. And I just used to think, oh my God, you're just doing this all by yourself. Yeah. How amazing. How empowering.

Yes. Incredible. I obviously it goes without saying, you know, I've got so much, so much respect for single parents because it is a lot. So to have, you know, I always feel so blessed that I have Chris to share the load with and help out and do, and do, be such a massive support. And I've got so much respect for, for mummers and dads that are doing it all on their own because that, that, honestly, it takes a village to raise children. And when you're the only one doing it all by yourself, It is incredibly, you know, I'd find it so admiring.

But if I can give you any advice from going through the journey with her and going through the journey with my friend and what she went through is she was nervous, but I think her excitement outweighed that. But I think what made her more excited and I think what eased her nerves is that she was fully in control of everything. She named, she named him what she wanted to name him. she got to, you know, pick all of her music and have it exactly how she wanted it. And she's got support from her family around her as well and her, and her friends. I just think there's so many exciting things where it's going to be just you and your little girl doing all of that for your baby. Yeah. And I hope there's other people around you as well.

Yeah. Hope you've got some good friends and, you know, extended family. But I think to share this with your, to share this moment with your daughter as well. I think you can really make it such a phenomenal. phenomenal experience. It's so special and she's old enough to know what's going on as well. So she's going to love it. And that's what I mean. If you're, if you're adamant that you want another baby and the person just isn't there, I say go for it. Yeah. Go for it, honey. Oh, Holly, how exciting. Keep us updated. Yeah, please keep us updated. Holly. I'm really,

really excited. She said she's got her first appointment coming up this month. Please let us know how it goes. And again, if anybody does have any experience in this and can share their story, Obviously, I can only give certain information about my friend because obviously I don't want to give too much of her personal life out. But if anybody does have any experience of an O-I-U-I, then please do share it with us so we can pass it on to Holly. Yes, you can email us hello at secret mumpod.com and we're Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tube's Day.

We'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club. Yeah.