Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Naughty Verse

Episode Date: July 31, 2025

There's a school hymn throwback this week as one listener shares a tune that’s still stuck in her head (and now in ours!) Plus, the ladies hear from a mum worried her kids won’t want to hang out with her when they’re older, something that really hits home for Soph.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursday's episode. Where we get to squeezing all the extra bits and bobs from the week. Squeeze your bits. All of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories. To keep you going through the weekend.

Shall we jump on in? Just a pre-warning. It is the school holidays. The children are here and it's very loud in the studio today. You might hear some rustling. So if you hear any rumours. wrestling. We're not under attack. Oh, maybe we are by the children. There is colouring, there is stickers, there is everything going on is basically a crash up in this

dream today. Yeah. Only all of my children though. Yeah. Not, not Emma's. Nine are in an actual crash. I did say you should have brought them alone. I know. It's like free childcare for the holidays. Although it's not, is it you still have to pay. No, I still have to pay. In fact, I have to pay more for fewer hours in the school holidays. Because the hours aren't funded and they're also closing an hour earlier and they don't get dinner. I guess it's a I'm paying more for less. So I guess it's a lot to be in there. People want a break, don't they?

And they bless them. They're working all the way through. Yeah, I mean, they are getting paid. But yeah. Anyhow. Right, moving on swiftly. It's time for another correspondence corner. My mouth is so dry today.

Is it? We're drinking last night? I'll let you take this away. No, I wasn't. Were you? No. I actually haven't drunk all week, which is quite rare for me by a Wednesday. I've had nothing.

You're okay? No, you're not actually. I'm not okay. I'll update you in the main episode. It's been stressful. So stay tuned. Clock into Thursdays. Yeah.

If you're hearing this, log on next week. Log in Thursday, okay? Okay, this one is from Sammy in Hastings. Hello, Sammy. She says, hi, lovely ladies. I've been listening to the pod since the very beginning and I actually wrote in once before about my boys' RIP Tombstone Get Well Soon card.

Do you remember? I do remember that. That's a throwback. I absolutely love the podcast. It brings me so much joy and comfort knowing we're all just doing our best. I was listening to the Playground Bangers episode. And it reminded me of a song, my husband, Sam. Yes, Sam and Sammy.

I love it when couples have similar names. That is iconic. Can you imagine on the first date? What's your name? Well, obviously, you'd know before you got to the restaurant. I'm looking for Sam. Imagine the first time I met Chris when he was like, my name's Chris. I'm an electrician.

I was like, ew, that's my dad. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. My dad's Chris and he's an electrician. Stefan is Stephen in Welsh. That's also my dad. Weird. They do say that you go for people like,

Someone that looks like your dad. It's obviously like I'm a dad as well. Right, yes, Sam and Sammy. He used to sing it in primary school. The lyrics were a bit questionable to say the least. The song is called When I Needed a Neighbor. I think it's a Christian hymn. It is a Christian hymn.

I don't know it. Do you? I don't know that I know it, but I do, I remember that why? When I needed a neighbour. She said, did anyone else sing this at school? Sam and his mates still laugh about it to this day. Sammy has sent us a clip as well. Shut the front door.

I'm excited. All right. I was cold, I was naked, were you there? I didn't see. Was that Sammy? Hold up a minute. Is that Sammy singing? No, I think that's just a recording of him.

I was about to say, blamming hell, Sammy. You kept that quiet. You kept that quiet. Yes, that's actually a quiet boy. I need to hear it again. I was cold, I was naked. Where you there? Where you're there?

I was cold, I was naked, were you there? Wow. I was cold, I was naked, were you there? Were you there? Yes, I was, rubbing your nipples to stay warm. Just last night. In the stable. Just a half hour ago.

That's like our pre-show ritual, isn't it? Yeah. Tuning in. You won't be able to find that with my big nipples. You were like this with my nipples. Wow! We're choning in! At the cup.

Wash! I do know that song. Yes. And you were singing, Give me oil in my lamp. Give me all in my lamp. Keep me burning. Yeah, but we need to get.

The chorus, that wasn't the chorus. Were you there? Were you there? I was cold. I was naked. Were you there? I'd like to say, we're not mocking it. No, sorry.

That sounds like we're taking the piss. No. It just is the small things in life that bring us joy. I think if there's anybody in church, in that there's got to be a little bit of like and also the thing is you sing these at primary school it's just like you're asking for trouble you are when the children are like oh it's when the children get a swear word in the car and the other day i gave a free hall pass in the car for a swear word and it was like fuck it's wild you give them a free hall pass and they find it hilarious to say the one

bad thing yeah i've been in school like i am cold i am naked i am you know yeah you'd be loving to make sure that everyone could hear me down the front line. If you were 10, that would make your day, wouldn't it? Honestly. But Sam is still singing it now as a grown man, so respect that. Sam and Sammy. Sam and Sammy. Sam and Sammy.

That's brought me so much joy. Yes. It's bring me joy in my lamp. I think it's bring me oil in my lamp. Anywho, don't blow my bubble. What? Don't burn my lamp. Don't blow my bubble and burn my lamp.

Thank you, Sammy. Right, we've got one more message here. It says, hi, Sophie and Emma. I just listened to the episode where the mum's baby rolled off the bed. Oh, this one was sad, wasn't it? Yeah, it was. Just to recap, this was the one where her partner was mean and went and told his family.

I made her feel really shitty about it. Made it feel bad about it. Yeah, we were quite annoyed about that. All right, it says the exact same thing happened when I was little. I hadn't even started rolling yet. My dad just managed to lunge and catch me in time, but I doubt he had proper head and neck support. I honestly think the partner not supporting her is outrageous.

It was clearly an accident. And to use that against her in arguments and turn his family on her, that is so cruel. I think that's what we thought was also, isn't it? She says, my mum's a judge. GP and her only reaction was it's an accident the dad needs to show some compassion from Rebecca in Merseyside. Oh Rebecca God bless you. Yeah we're with you Rebecca. I'm glad because we did get a little angry about that but we didn't know if that was just us. I think we went a little bit, I listened

back to that one as well and I think I thought I listened back. Did we go a little bit hand? I did think oh we've gone a little bit of hand but it was well justified. I think so. I'd want someone to be that angry if I told them that that that was my story. I'd want me to be fucking livid. Yeah. I just hope that mum that wrote in is okay because it was a lot for her to take in. It was a lot. It was a lot to process. And I do, if you are listening or you managed to get through that episode without totally being offended by me and Emma's reaction, because we were sad for you. Yeah.

That was the main thing. I think it was just like frustration for her and wanting to support her. But also, I think we did come across a bit angry. But I think a lot of people would agree with us. I think so, yes. And I think Rebecca is definitely there and totally gets it. Yeah. Also, that just goes to show.

It's happened to everyone. It has happened to everybody. It's happened to me. It's happened loads of times. Yeah. Yeah. But thank you. Thank you for messaging.

Yeah, we appreciate you so much. And hopefully our mum is listening to. Yeah, I hope so. And gets a little bit more reassurance. Yeah. So thank you for your messages. If you have any comments, thoughts or funny stories, why not get in touch?

You can email us hello at secret mumpod.com or we're SecretMumpod on TikTok and Instagram. Next is time for one of your secrets. Welcome back. We love a secret on the secret mum club. And you're all so good at sharing. Do you know what? I feel like we share so many secrets before we come back to the ad break. So much has to be put into compliance that if only we could reveal all of the secrets that we talk about.

Well, we never know whether Mousie's going to leave it in. She won't. We chat, what we think is off the record. And then we'll listen back to the episodes. I think, oh, no, she's left that in. No, no, she's throw that one in there. She's thrown us right under the bus. But anyhow, what have you got for us today, Emma?

All right. This comes from Jade. Hello, ladies. I'm a mummy to. two beautiful boys, Henry who's four, and Louis, who's nearly 18 months. Oh, Henry and Louis. Cute names. So cute. They are my absolute world and I adore the bones of them. They're both total mummy's boys and completely obsessed with me, which I love. But I've got this really silly worry about the future. Everyone always says that once boys grow up and get wives, they

won't want to spend time with their moms anymore and it breaks my heart. I don't want to be that stereotypical boy mom and I do know what it's like to have a nightmare mother-in-law, but I just don't want to lose that closeness with them. How do I keep them close while still respecting their and their future partners. I know it's ages away and probably sounds silly. But honestly, people say this to me every time they find out I've got two boys. I feel like you know about this

because you want your children to live with you forever. It's literally the saddest thing. A son is a son until he gets a wife. Or a husband. A daughter is a daughter for life. A son is a son until he gets a wife. Yeah, or a husband. Obviously, that would have been the old saying.

The old saying, yeah. It's something, I won't lie to you, Jade. It shock horror. something I actually do really worry about because Chris obviously we don't have a relationship with Chris's mum it's not something I ever really talk about it's not my personal information to share

it is Chris's although we do openly talk about it and she just isn't good to be around our children and that was a decision that Chris made and being his partner I supported him but I have tried for many years to say we should try again and we should try and make it work with your mum and have her involved and I've really tried over the years

and I have to respect Chris's decision and it's solely his decision. I know that's new information and it probably comes to a shock to people because I don't think I ever, I have ever really shared it. But something I worry about is, yeah, not, you know, I think I put myself in the position of like me, Roxanne and Ritchie. And Ritchie obviously is married to his wonderful wife, Amy. And he is very divided between the two. So he tries to make as much time for all of us as he tries to make a lot of time for his wife.

And naturally, he does more, well, I say, I say naturally, probably from my perspective, it does feel like he does a little bit more with them. But I don't think in the grand scheme of things, if you wade it up option to option, I think he does the equal amount, but we have to take it in terms like at Christmas time. Yes. And again, I think because we don't see Chris's family, I think Christmas, every Christmas is with mine. So why is this because people tend to be closer to the maternal family? So because you normally go to your mum, when you have your baby, you normally go to your own mum, then go into your mother-in-law.

So you would instinctively always go back to your own mum. Yeah. So I think that's why it's always been that a girl will naturally gravitate towards, yeah, to her own family. Yeah. But I think, how I personally think I'm going to do it is to just be a safe place for them. I just, I will forever be. forever going to be my friend like I just adore all of all three of them yeah but I just think for the boys perspective and you know what I read something really sad the other day I'm going to try

my best not to cry and it's on my mind and I feel like I need to say it is there was a lady that said that when they get married there's only one person in the room that is looking at the son at their groom because everybody else in the room is looking at the bride and that's his mom oh isn't that the saddest thing and I'm just going to be watching both boys like No one else is going to be looking at them because everyone's going to be looking at the bride and how beautiful I dresses. And I think personally for me, I'm just going to be there, be the friend that I have been all their life. Obviously, I feel like it's really hard. My mum has been quite hard on us, on us growing up, in the sense of sometimes me personally growing up, I rebelled, I think, because my parents were so strict.

And I think sometimes I rebelled, being that I was a little bit of a rebel. rebellious child, but I think sometimes it was a bit full on my mum, which then made us in turn not come to my mum to talk about things. And we never really had that closeness. I think we've spoken about it before. I never had that open closeness with my mum and dad that I could talk about periods or talk about boyfriends or talk about anything like that. I felt like it was a very strict household, which now my turn around doing this, we're very open. We talk about periods. We talk about boys we talk about changing of our bodies and you know all my sister's children are growing up so we talk about all of their hormones and how they're changing and they may have girlfriends and boyfriends

one day you know so it's like the cycle of life that we keep talking about and try and keep an open house so that one day that they feel safe enough that they come back and yeah as much as we love them we're going to love their partners as well whether that be a male or a female yeah I think the best thing you can do is just like make it a welcoming environment like you don't want to be that like nightmare mother-in-law that's like jealous of the wife. But then I think is that because I've had such a bad experience. So I'm now working so hard to not have that for my children. Maybe. Like I don't want to. I generally don't want to be the nightmare mother-in-law. I want to be the mother-in-law that's easy. Like I think sometimes just navigating through living with somebody

else or being with somebody else or having to think of somebody else other than yourself. I don't want to throw being a dick into the process as well. I want a healthy welcoming home for them to feel safe, I think the worst thing you can do though is be like smothering and suffocating Like you've got to let them go If you let them go I think they'll come back I think that's what my mum did Bless my mum

I think the more she tried to shelter us in The more we kind of all Pushed out Yeah yeah yeah Rebelled a little bit Once we all got freedom We were like we're never coming back But then I think you still like now

You do a lot of stuff together We go back now yes You've got like a close relationship Yeah but that's now That's a long time in the future Yeah I've had my own children But we went through Like any family

We've gone through our ups and downs I've had my heart hard times that I've gone through with my parents and I think it's quite normal to go through them but do I want to go through them with my own children? Probably not. There's probably things that I would do differently and I speak to my mum every day and my mum always says you know I wish I'd done things differently and I think it's hard once you're in it as well to also step out and look at the bigger picture once you're in it because you're in it and your top my mom was my mom had three children under three under three my dad was working away in Germany she was

tired she was exhausted yeah yeah she didn't have as much patience as she maybe would have liked but you know I think all we can do is create a healthy happy environment yeah and I think if your sons are already so close to you and then mummy's boys they probably always will be just because they go off and have their own life and have their own family that doesn't mean they're not going to come back no we spoke before about like how do we make our grown-up children be friends with us because I'm like I really want to have a close relationship like I really want to be closer to them but you can't force it you can't you can't force it you just got to let them do their own thing And then hopefully they'll just want to hang out with you

because you're a cool mom. But it makes me feel so much better that people also do worry about it. Other people are thinking about it. Because I feel like sometimes am I a little bit weird because I think about me. Yeah.

Because I just want them to be my best friends forever. Yeah. Like we're friends now. Can we not just be friends forever? Can we just stay like this forever? Can we all just stay in the house together forever? Yeah. Should I just buy a big enough house

that we can just keep having, we'll have your partners in here and if you want children, we'll have all of them. You can have like a multi-generational home. It'll be great. He's so divine. Yeah. So divine.

Chris's friends have like multi-generation homes. Do they? Yeah. Sometimes I think, oh, that'd be amazing. And then sometimes I think that'll be a nightmare. I don't know. I could be like, oh, imagine someone cooking dinner for you. Oh, mum, just watch the kids for me.

But then sometimes I'd be like, get out of my house. Do you think? Yeah. Would you be able to do it with your own parents? Or would you do think you could do it with your in-laws? I think I'm very lucky because I've got a close relationship with my in-laws. I feel very lucky. And me and Steph-Fat, and that's what I was going to say, actually.

Just because you've got boys, it doesn't mean they're not going to be close to you when they go and have their own family. because Stefan is very close to his family. And he's got sisters. And he's got sisters. So he's the only boy. And he is still, they're all still very close. And I just think that's because his family have just fostered a nice loving environment.

They give him freedom, obviously. It's like, you know, gone off, moved away to university, moved across the country, got married, had his own family, had his own kids. But they're still really close. Yeah. Not geographically at the moment, but they're close like emotionally.

And they like hanging out with each other and they speak on the phone and stuff like that. So, yeah, just because you've got boys, it doesn't mean that's not going to be the case in the future. But I think in your back of your mind, you do feel like that. Because I wonder if Jade also goes to her mum. Yeah. So in your mind, you're like, well, I go back to my mum.

Yeah. And I think my, I think the worry is that my mum worries that my brother will instinctively choose his mother-in-law to go to rather than coming to her. And I think my mum sometimes feels a little bit sad by that. Yeah. But Richie's mother-in-law is wonderful. That's the thing. Yeah.

I even love her. I think she's insane. I think the woman's lovely. Couldn't think any more of her. And that's what you've got to do. You've just got to create a nice, loving, welcoming environment. And as well, I think also Richie has, him and his wife also have nieces. So my brother's wife's sister has got kids.

She has children. So we talk a lot about it and Dottie will sit and say to you, well, I've got more cousins because I've got, even on that side. I've got Uncle Ritchie's other nieces and she'll say that they're my family too. And I adore, I adore them all, adore their family, my sister-in-law's family. And you've got to, I feel like you have to adapt. It takes an army to raise these families. And if we can all stick together, life is so much easier. I know I'm fully aware that it doesn't always work that way.

But we've got to try, have a way. Yeah. But I feel like, because it's in your mind, you're obviously very caring and I love that. Yeah. They'll still be friends with you, I'm sure, when they're older. Yes. They might not move out at like 35 and you'll be like, get out. God.

Get your own life. But if you do have any advice for me, and Jade, because obviously me and Jade are clearly exactly the same at this moment in time, then do let us know. We'd love to hear some stories or even if you've gone through it. Maybe if you're the mother-in-law or maybe you're the mum, you've got older sons, how it's all worked and your family dynamic, then please do let us know because that would make me feel wonderful. I would love to hear some of those stories. Yes. Yes. Email us. The email address is Hello at Secret Mum. or with Secret Mumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. And we'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club.