Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The NICU Stories

Episode Date: March 6, 2025

The ladies continue NICU Week by hearing all of your experiences in neonatal units. From premature to full-term babies, there’s a huge range of stories shared, including a special call-in from listener Mari, who shares her journey. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. We call them clicks at your world tonight. It's the little word we use when someone from our team reads over and approves a story. Each one gets carefully checked and clicked more than once to make sure you always get the facts. I'm Susan Bonner. I'm Tom Harrington. And I'm Stephanie Scanderis. Together, we bring you the day's news and help you understand it with a process you

can trust. Your World Tonight from CBC News. Find and follow us wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. Hello, this is The Secret Mom Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to a very special Thursday episode where we'll be carrying on with our special NICU week. And we'll be hearing some of your stories.

So many of you have been in touch about your experiences and we really wanted to share some of them. So Emma, let's hear the first one please. Alright, this one is from Brenna in South Dakota, USA. South Dakota! USA. South Dakota. She says, Hi ladies. Our son was born eight weeks early due to preeclampsia and elevated Doppler's brackets, cord backflow. Wow. That means stuff's going the wrong way. He arrived weighing just two pounds, 15 ounces, but all things considered, he was doing great. The doctor's main concern was for him to gain weight

and learn to eat. We spent 35 days in the NICU. Wow. Three hours from home. Oh my gosh. Wow. Thankfully I was able to stay with family nearby while my husband had to return to work

just 10 days after our son was born, visiting us on weekends. Right, the parental leave in America is crazy. I don't get it. Oh my gosh. 10 days. She said, my days quickly became routine. Arriving at the hospital by 7.30 AM, learning how to care for a NICU baby and watching him grow. I'd stay until 10 PM before heading home to rest. That's with her family. And then repeat it all the next day. The NICU staff were incredible, always answering my

questions and making me feel supported. I often think it's wild how in a typical birth, parents and babies are sent home after just a few days. The transition home was tough. We went from having round the clock help to managing everything on our own. As much as we were ready to be home, we also weren't. We had grown used to the constant monitoring in the NICU where alarms would sound if oxygen levels dropped. At home, the silence felt unsettling.

Even with the Ow outlet sock to track his oxygen, those first few weeks of sleep were rough. At just four pounds 12 ounces when we left, Landon was still much smaller than the average five week old. Fast forward to today and we have a happy healthy two-year-old who amazes us every day. He's still small for his age, barely making it onto the growth chart, but we wouldn't have it any other way. He keeps us on our toes and constantly moving. Thanks for creating such a safe, supportive space where we don't have to be perfect all the time. Oh my gosh. You were saying that about your transition from the NICU because I think like Brenna

says it is wild with a typical birth that you just get sent home maybe even the next day or the same day sometimes. I was going to say, Dotcyie, I stayed over with both, but Dotsie, I wasn't even in there 24 hours. Wasn't even in there a day. I went in, had her, and in the morning I got discharged. Which is crazy, but I think when you spend an extended period of time in the NICU or in hospital,

it's worse because you've got so used to that support and you've had so long to become accustomed to, you were saying this when we had our interview with Tracy this in literally every beep, every sound, everything there's someone there or if you've got a question, there's somebody there. Yeah. And then you go well, obviously I went up to the went up to Tracy who's on the transition. Yeah. Upstairs. So you can transition slowly over to that bit to then go home. But she's yeah, even then you're going from having a lot of help to nothing. But then to go home, yeah, to nothing. And bearing in mind, he was Diddy as well. So

he's had his oxygen checked. He's had every little bit of him checked because he was so, so tiny to go home. And then that's the bit that I take my hat off to mums, they go home and do that. But then I don't know how much care there is for the mums that get sent home. Because being even being sent home with a four pound baby, he is still tiny to go home. Yeah, and maybe needs like additional care and support and checks and stuff. It must be really unsettling to just be like, well, we're on our own now. And they did more than a month in the NICU. But I can feel like you can feel how scary that is.

Like I can totally feel like going home with a four pound baby, being in the hospital for a month in the NICU. But I can feel like you can feel how scary that is. Like I can totally feel like going home with a four pound baby, being in the hospital for a month. And they were three hours away from their hospital. America's just huge, isn't it? So huge. That's crazy. It is crazy, but I just, I take my hat off to you. Honestly, I just think it's so,

that process is really hard. Like I say, I don't want to say I'm lucky, but I can only ever speak on my own journey. I can't speak on moms that are in there for, you know, a day, a week, a month, you know, a really long time. I can't speak on that. I can only speak on my own.

So to, just to put myself in that respect, I don't. I must be so hard. I just honestly, I take my hat off to his mom. Yeah, me too. But how wonderful, he's doing so great. I know, and he's two now. He's two. Oh my goodness thank you Brenna so much for not only listening from South Dakota, USA but also writing in. We appreciate you. Thank you. God bless you. All right there's another message here from Shar in Birmingham. It says, Hi both. Happy birthday to Renly and Sadie this month.

Oh, thank you so much. I wanted to share my NICU journey with you all. It was my first pregnancy and it had been amazing. I went into labor naturally at 40 plus six weeks, expecting to finally meet my healthy baby girl. After 23 hours, Myla arrived, weighing eight pounds, two ounces. But things didn't go as expected. Just six minutes after she was born, she was whisked away to NICU, where her fight began. Myla arrived weighing eight pounds, two ounces, but things didn't go as expected.

Just six minutes after she was born, she was whisked away to NICU where her fight began. See, I wouldn't have thought a full term baby. But this is the thing is you just don't think. I'm so naive to it. You'd be like 40 plus six, she was eight pound two. That was me before I had Renly. That was honestly me.

I was just like, I won't go to the NICU. It's me now because I've never had that experience. I'd be like, oh yeah, full term baby should be fine. So she was called and placed in a coma after suffering a pneumothorax and meconium aspiration. This is where air leaks into the space between the lung and the chest wall, causing the lung to collapse partially or fully. Oh my. That's when they, if they do a poo inside and then they breathe it in, that's what can be really bad for their lungs.

Is it? Oh, well, because Joseph did a poo inside and then they breathe it in, that's what can be really bad for their lungs. Isn't it? Well, cause Joseph did a poo inside because when my water's broke, they were like, there's meconium in it. And that's only when they were like, we need to accelerate things here because it's not safe for them to be in there and breathe in the meconium.

That's what it means anyway. She was also treated for sepsis and brain damage. Oh my gosh. For any new parent, this is the most terrifying experience imaginable. But the incredible NICU nurses quickly reassured us that Myla was in the best hands and she was so strong. We spent two weeks in NICU

and those were the hardest weeks of our lives. The outcome could have been so different. Our journey was slightly different from that of premature families, but the emotions were the same. I will always remember a doctor telling me, it's not the premature babies we worry about. If they're premature we know why they're here. They just need time to grow. But when a full-term baby ends up in NICU it's terrifying because something has gone wrong.

Oh my gosh. God they're not worth it. What do you want to hear though? That thought has stayed with me ever since. Myla recovered amazingly. She's hit all her milestones and I even left my job to start a new one with her. I now teach baby sign language as a tiny tink teacher helping little ones communicate early. Myla is now seven and has auditioned for the Birmingham Royal Ballet. Oh my God, what? And won a scholarship. Stop it now. Hearing you share your story transported me right back. I could hear the sounds of the machines, feel the emotions. It's all still so real even six years later. Thank you for sharing your journey. I love you both. I love following everything you do. Oh, what an incredible young lady. What? That one really got that one. You were going then.

It's hard to read them out when they're really sad. That is what that was. Wow. And how scary is that literally that it's the premature baby. They were fired with so much information once their baby was born. There's so much going on there, isn't there? I think that because when you're in the midst of it as well, because there's so much, they are coming in at every angle as to like,

I remember Rennie being in the room and I remember the lady going, we're gonna give him 20 minutes, we're doing this, we're doing this, so we're doing this and they were firing so much information at me. And then she was like, if this doesn't happen and we don't do this by this time and this by this step, this could occur, this could happen to him. And you're just sat there and you're like, what? I don't know.

Are you taking any of it in? I just couldn't. Like I even found a photo the other day. I know that I held him. But it was really quick before he went into the incubator. But you know, like you don't get the skin on the skin and skin on skin. And like I looked at this picture just me holding him and that's it. My sister's got the video and it gets put on me.

Chris is crying and then he just goes into the incubator. But there's just so much information thrown at you and that process. And then you go into the NICU and then they are doing OBS and checks on him and then they have to tell you every, which obviously you're so incredibly grateful for, but it's just a whole... You must feel so overwhelmed. Yeah, because not only is your hormones fucking up your ass. You've just given birth to a baby. Yeah. And then they throw all of the other information at you and you're just, I don't

know, I don't think we'll ever get past that feeling of you just feel like you're so robbed of that first moment and you just wouldn't expect it at 40 plus. No, that's what I was going to say because you've got in your head about how it's going to go and like, you know, you make it to the end of your pregnancy like Char did and she probably thought, great, I'm full term, I've made it everything's baby's measuring good everything's gonna be fine no great pregnancy great everything yeah and you get there and you have this healthy eight pound plus baby and you still have this whole traumatic experience like I just think it's the unexpectedness of it like you just never know how it's gonna go. I hope that from all of this, what I honestly hope is one,

I don't obviously ever want to scare anybody. It's more just to raise the awareness about it, but also that there can be a positive outcome. Obviously I don't have a bad outcome to share, but I just hope that if anybody does find themselves in this situation, maybe preparation. maybe if someone does fall pregnant, it's just in case, you know? And I don't ever want to scare anybody or anything like that,

but it's just, I think I was naive. I think I was naive and thinking, well, it's not gonna happen. I've had two babies. I've had two babies. Yeah, why would it happen to me? Yeah, why would it happen to me? So, and I hope that it's more of a precaution, you know, to just, not that we have to think about it

or consider it, but if it does happen, that it helps in some way. Yeah. Yeah. So thank you for all your messages. Every birth story is unique. We'd love to hear yours, no matter what your journey looked like.

You can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. Next, we have a special guest sharing their NICU story after these short messages. Can we unlock the power of nature to tackle microplastics? At the University of British Columbia, we believe we can. Dr. Orlando Rojasin team at the Bioproducts Institute are finding cleaner ways to clean microplastics from our drinking water, using filters made of natural, renewable materials.

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Acast.com. Welcome back to our NICU Correspondence special. We have got a very, very special guest today, haven't we? So exciting. To share her NICU journey is Marie. Hello. Hi, Marie. Hello. Hi Marie. Thank you for joining us.

Thank you. We were just saying how late at night it is for you now, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Pretty late. Almost 12 o'clock. You're on the other side of the world in New Zealand. Which is wild. It blows my mind. It honestly blows my mind that we have friends across the pond that are listening to us and you're here at this time of night. Yeah, yeah I had to get in and listen to you guys and share my story. We would love to hear your story so can you give us a little brief of who you are, your little person and we'll get into your journey. Alrighty so my name is Marie and I live in New Zealand. I am South African,

so brand new to our country, never had a baby, never had a baby here. So it was honestly a new experience altogether. Did you feel scared? I wanted to ask you that. Did you feel scared about being in a new country? Because this is your first baby too, isn't it? Yeah, it is. I found out I was crying more because I was scared. But yeah, it was such a beautiful journey with so much support from the beginning, which which was really lovely. Yeah, we had a midwife here, which is not something I was used to that they would have in South Africa. And she was there through everything. They did so much tests, but they were so thorough.

Yeah. And that's not what you would have got at home. You wouldn't have had that at home. No, I don't think it would have been as many checkups as I had here. But everything was okay in your pregnancy though, there wasn't any concerns or anything? I did have borderline gestational diabetes, which it wasn't that high that it was a big risk but for them to just make sure they just pushed me through as being part of it and that put me onto a new system with different doctors and midwives. So you were dietary dependent, were you not insulin dependent? Yeah.

At one point they did treat it with insulin as well, but it was still, it was just because it was fluctuating in the mornings a bit too much. Yes, but other than that, you had a lovely pregnancy. Yeah, I feel bad saying this, but I didn't have any morning sickness. Never feel bad. You have to take the wins when you can get it. Yeah, embrace it. Yeah, I didn't have any of that. I had minimal swelling. I had very rare cravings, I didn't really have any. So it was honestly just living with a little kicking human being inside.

Oh, I miss that. I know. Do you miss it? Do you miss the bump? I do. I don't feel that feeling ever goes away. I don't think you ever don't. And mine was strange because I used to get like phantom kicks before I had Renly. So it'd be like five years after having Dottie. Yeah. And I get phantom kicks in my had Renly. So it'd be like five years after having Dotty. Yeah. And I get phantom kicks in my tummy.

Yeah. I don't know if that ever goes away. I don't know. I think I still get those. I think it's like, is it, it's muscle memory, isn't it? It's just twitches, is it? I thought it was like muscle memory. So because it's happened in your body, like your brain can't let go of that.

You know, could be completely bullshit. Yeah, totally. We've said it before and we'll say it again. Do not be completely bullshit to be honest. Yeah, totally. We've said it before and we'll say it again. Do not take medical advice from this podcast. So tell us a bit about your birth then and what happened with your little boy. He was quite eager to come out. I was busy getting an induction date

because of the gestational diabetes. There's some diabetes. What happened was I went on maternity leave the last Friday of June. And that What happened was I went on maternity leave the Friday of the last Friday of June. And that Monday he was born. So he didn't leave much time. Wow. Were you prepared? I didn't think it was going to be that fast because he was only due probably a week and a half later.

Okay. Yeah, I was not prepared for it to be that fast. And he came naturally, not induction? He did come naturally. He was four hours from being. Wow. So I went into labor the Monday morning at 4 a.m. and the Tuesday morning at 4 a.m. or 4.46 to be exact, I gave birth. And he was at 8 o'clock that morning if I wasn't. Wow. Oh, wow. So when that all happened, as the first time on, everybody talks about having a birth plan. And

you know, you have this idea of how it's going to happen. Yeah, nothing went to plan. Honestly, I feel like it's not even worth having that plan. No. I didn't get epidural, which meant I had to just do it naturally. And that was a bit scary, I won't lie. And if it wasn't for my partner, that basically told me what to do throughout the whole process.

I don't think I would have been able to do it. But yeah, he struggled to get out at the last second purely because my body was just tensing up and I was getting tired. And he had hurt his left arm coming out. And I didn't see him. Basically, he got out, they took him one side and started treating him. And then they left with him and I never heard him cry. He was taken to NICU straight away. His dad was with him so he kept messaging me and telling me what was going on and everything and eventually I got to see him. How long was the wait? Can I ask how long was it before you saw him?

I felt like it was forever. It was probably only about an hour. Okay. But it felt forever. Still long, still a really long time isn't it? Yeah and you know not knowing what's going on, you didn't hear that magical first cry that everybody talks about it, it's hard you know like it plays on your heart because you feel like you've done something wrong or you know something went. So yeah, I finally went to go see him and he was in the New Cube Mord where he was basically just in this little incubator and strapped up with all the monitors and everything going on. And he was this tiny little boy with a little bit, I wouldn't say he was blue, but he was a little bit off color.

And then they spoke to us and they started treating him and telling us that he had belly rubin, similar to Ren Lee. And at that moment, I did feel a bit of relief because I knew you went through this. And the fact that you shared every single step of the way, it made me be able to tell my partner that it's okay. It happens to babies. And he went off the light, probably about a day and a half later. And they said, look, he was born off later. And they said, Look, he was born 36 and six. But if they read his measurements on 37, he passed. So I said, Oh,

brilliant, you know. And they monitored and took bloods and everything again. And they said, No, he needs to go on there again. And eventually, they moved us from being in an open ward where there was basically only a chair. And I must admit that was a different experience learning to breastfeed, you know, in a corner where there's constantly people walking past, you actually just zone completely out.

You don't see people, you don't care. If your baby's hungry you just, you know, do what you need to do. And yeah, they eventually moved us into a private room where we would have a little bit more privacy. He was still under the blue light and he was in NICU for about six and a half days before we could take him home. And how did you feel with your, the transitional care, how did you feel going from the, because did you stay in, so once he was in the NICU and taken out of the incubator, you were moved on to the ward where you did his blue light? We would have, however, they had a private room right next to

where the incubator was literally just on the other side. So it was a room that was set up for everything he needed to be tested a month before and it had a little bunk bed so I could be with him and it was private we could close the door which gave me the opportunity to stay over with him, do night feeds and everything. So, you know, we completely leave what we knew for so many days. Yeah. Yeah. And how old is Torin? How old is he now? And how is he doing? He's seven months now. He's a happy little boy. He did get a bit of flu at the moment, but Saturday he started crawling. Yeah, it's now he is a little speedster. You put him down and you look again, he's gone.

Can I ask a really personal question and please tell me to go away? Obviously my my NICU baby is my last baby. So I, I feel like it's wrong for me to say, Oh, I wouldn't have any more babies because he is my last baby. But I would really love to know as a mum, whose first baby is a NICU baby, how you feel with, if you would like more children or has it hindered you in any way or how you're feeling on the process if you do want more children? Honestly if I was having any more children and it was in New Zealand I'd be happily to do it again.

It hasn't put you off? No. No. And again I think if it wasn't for you sharing it, it probably would have been more traumatic for me because you're so scared that there's so much wrong because they're constantly testing. And I think the little heel pricks were the worst because he's... Was his little feet so sore? Renly's feet were so sore. It honestly is terrible. But other than that, honestly...

Do you think the care that you had then is helped with, so the process that you went through with your NICU baby has helped give you a positive outcome from this? Absolutely. I think by far, this was probably the best country to have a baby in. Right, we're all coming to New Zealand, alright? So make room for us. It's been such a lovely positive story, hasn't it? Yes. How do you feel now looking back on the experience? Are you emotional when you think about what you went through? Yeah, talking about it all again and, you know, going into detail about it. At first, I didn't think I was going to feel a little bit, you know,

touching of the heart strings and it does bring a little bit of heartache again. But I think mine is, I think it makes me emotional is because I feel because I had obviously Colby and Dottie first, I feel like I was robbed from so much and there's physically nothing we could have done and there's mums in, you know, in worse positions and that, you know, I know there's 100% there's there's worse outcomes and things like that. So I can only tell off my own experience, but you feel, and especially being your first baby,

I feel like that I was robbed of the first hug and especially being your first baby, like that moment of skin to skin or hearing that cry. I don't think you, for your own personal experience, I don't feel like you can ever get that, you can't get that back and you can't get that emotion that weighs so heavy on your heart. But I was saying, I just watched a video I found on my phone, like a six minute long video. And I was just saying to you, wasn't I, that I don't even recognize myself in the video, like changing

his nappy, like my voice is different. Like I obviously how I look, I was very, very swollen, but like looking at Renly, he was like you were saying he was, he was blue, like really blue and he was really, really bruised. And like, because that's not how he looks now, we're a whole year on is like my brain can't function that that was me and my baby. Like I can't like watching it. I feel really sad watching it because I feel like I'm having an out of body experience and I'm watching that. You can't accept that. No, I can't accept that. That was me. And I feel really sad watching it because I feel like I'm having an out of body experience and I'm watching. Yeah, but you can't accept that that was you. No, I can't accept that that was me and it feels really sad to watch because in that

moment I'm so terrified and I'm so scared and it's all over my face. So to look at that person, it's really hard for me to watch because that person was, you know, I was terrified. I was truly, truly terrified and I take my hat off to the mummies that go through NICU and the process and everything because it is a long process. Some of the babies in there and not everybody has a positive outcome. Well, we're so incredibly grateful for you to come on. And thank you for listening. And I'm so glad that there was a little bit of hope that I could give you that helped and made you feel at ease when you had him. But you've really done incredible.

Thank you guys. Thank you, sweetheart. Happy birthday to Rinlee and to Sadie later on in March. Thank you, Marie. God bless you, Marie. Thank you. Thank you so much. What a beautiful, beautiful mama.

She's done incredible, hasn't she? But like we said there, she had a good, healthy pregnancy, similar to, cha, good, healthy baby. Everything went great in the pregnancy and then got to the last bit. Similar experience to you. Very similar. And nice to know that what you shared had helped Marie.

That was sweet of her to say that. That is very, very sweet of her. That's what my point is that I'm trying to say is that I hope that it just is there in the back of someone's mind. Yeah, never to scare anybody, but just to be, just to think that not it could happen, but it could, you know? And it could all be all right.

And it could be all all right. Yeah. We're so grateful to all of you for sharing your incredible stories about being in the NICU and for being with us during this week long special. We really are all in this together. If there's anything you'd like to share with us, you can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with secretmumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. We'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret

Mum Club. messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the... Secret Mom Club! feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily jackpots a chance to win with every spinner and a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m. every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca select games only guarantee void of platform or game outages occur guarantee requires played by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m. Eastern. Research and supplies seen full terms at canada.casino.fandio.com If you enjoy detailed, fact-based and empathetic true crime storytelling, you might like Canadian true crime. I'm Christy Lee.

Join me for an immersive deep dive into some of the most thought provoking crimes in the country I now call home. From the case of Headley lead singer Jacob Hogard to the bizarre naked kidnappings in Alberta to infamous cases like Colonel Russell Williams. Go beyond the headlines and get the full story. Find Canadian true crime wherever you listen to podcasts.