Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The No Filter Phase

Episode Date: August 6, 2026

Soph’s levelling up her DIY era with some exciting loft plans that are getting more ambitious by the minute! Plus, one listener shares the moment her little one’s honesty went a step too far in the supermarket... 😂Emma Spring Bank Holiday Sale is live! Get up to 25% off plus extra 5% using the code SECRETSLEEP at Emma Sleep.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursday's episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. Squeeze your bits, honey. I want to know if anybody commented on her, did anybody rate our horns?

Oh, it's going out on Thursday. So people will have heard it by now. So you will have heard it by the time we hear this, but we don't know that you know that you've heard us. Raid my horn. Yeah, can you rate our horn? If you didn't, can you rate our horns? Emma's make me laugh because if you could say,

see her doing it, she goes, ha-h-h-h-h-h-hoo, ha-hoo, ha-hoo, ha-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h. I thought-good, sorry, honey. But, anyhow, we'll squeeze your bits. All of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories. Keep going through the weekend. Showie John Boldie! It's time for another.

Corresponders' corner. Oh, it's so awesome. Oh, shoo-l-l-l-l-oh. Oh, that was, sorry, I don't know what that was that deep breathe. Test my breath. I'm trying to get the children. to test their breast at the moment. Do you ever remember doing it when you were little lick the back of your...

And their hand and then smell it. Yeah. Or breathe into your hand and then smell it. I don't think that works as effectively as getting the tongue right at the back. Yeah, because all I can smell is my hand cream. Yeah, the back of your, the back of your tongue on your wrist. Oh. And then let it dry for a bit.

It's when they go, Mop, smell mine. Are you getting into that because you think their breath smells? Well, I said to Colby at the moment because he's going through lots of hormones. I mean, we're going into double digits, honey. Yeah. Very much he's getting a very grown-up little boy. And I said to him, we need to take our oral hygiene very seriously. So we've been learning flossing.

Not that kind of floss. Not the dance. Not that flossing. But we've been teaching him to floss and do all that jazz. And his breath stank. And we were stuck in the car for two hours together. That's what I was getting. Ha, ha, ma'am!

On me. And I literally thought I was going to vomit. Because we put Renny in the front to distract him for the car jar. money, but I know I was in the back with the other two, with the armrests, right up my fucking crack the whole way. Anywho, that's on for next week's episode. Yeah, stay tuned for that on Tuesday. If you want to know more, tune in.

Right. Should we take it away? Yes, this one comes from Becca. Hello, Becca. And she says, hi, so for Nema. I absolutely love the pod. You two are an absolute dream to listen to. God bless you.

That is adorable, isn't it? I just listened to the birthday nostalgia episode, and I wanted to share something I saw on TikTok. A mum saved one balloon or decoration from every Every birthday theme her son had growing up and then displayed them all together on his 18th birthday. My husband says I'm absolutely not allowed to start doing this for our three-year-old Ezra, but I definitely am. I just thought it was such a lovely way to look back on all those memories. Oh.

I saved something from the babies. And I thought I was just going to put it in a memory box. But this is actually such a great idea. I keep their one, two, three balloons. Do you? Because my sister vinyl's their names on them. So I've got all their names on them. And then I keep a balloon that is like the theme from.

from their birthday and then a little candle. And I've just got little memory box and I just pack it all in. And I keep it in like a, you know the binders, the plastic works that you put in a folder. It's just in there. And then I put a little post it, a sticker on it. And I put Colby's first birthday, Dotty's first birthday. Obviously now Renzi's had two. And I just keep him on a little trunk.

That's adorable. And I didn't even think about displaying that. That's so adorable. Like even down to their party hats, like when I've bought them party hats, like Renli He had a one with a little bubble on it. So I bought him it for his second birthday, a leopard print one and it has a two on it. And I was like, I'm just going to keep them all and just display them. Can you imagine them on little garland?

Oh, I know. That is fucking adorable. Oh, you're so good at stuff like that. I wouldn't think about it until it's too late. But you know, if my house is going up, that bitch is catching a light because I'm storing fucking schoolbooks left right and center. If there's going to be a fire, it's going to be my house because it's just going to go, because with all the fucking school books.

And all that vinyl in there. I know. Exactly. Yeah. On the fucking, all that paint as well, fuck me. Yeah, it's going to be a toxic. It's a firelighting to happen. Fuck you.

I would be the kind of person to be like, oh, that's a really nice idea. And I'd put it all together and then I would lose it. And I'd forget where I'd put it. I'm actually going to do something really wild. And I'm going to, I'm going to organise and shelf my loft. Is that a really weird thing? I'm definitely on, I'm on a very strange side of social media at the moment where I'm getting very much like organizing things, how to live very minimal.

Like, camper life, you'll see. I'll talk about it more in the next week's episode. But I'm very much in an organising state of my life. And I have not only in utility heaven, like of people having phenomenal utilities, but there's people that put like office, like metal shelving and they have it all in trunks and like the Christmas shelving and then the Halloween shelving, autumn shelving. I need that in my life. Yes, that's very you.

Yeah. That is. That's very you coded. And I've got a very lovely space in the loft to be able to do that. And you can do it yourself. Yeah, I will fucking do it myself. I know you will. I will leper print the shit out of that up there as well.

I might even fucking paint it up there. That's actually a great idea. Oh my God, I can paint the season to know which corner of the nothing. You could do like candy canes on Christmas. Yes. You could do leaves on the autumn one. It's so exciting, isn't it? I feel like you need to do it right now.

I can't. I've got to wait for the, oh, die up there, Emma. It's like a sweat box up there fucking hell. I'll have to wait to the winter months coming out. But there we go. There's content for the, for the long. Winter guys, tune in. That's September to December sorted.

Yes. That will be so good, isn't it? Yeah, I can see you doing that. I would do that as well. So that's my plan towards the end of the year. Yeah, nice. Because then I was looking at pumpkins and B&M the other day and I thought,

I'm not really an autuminal girl, but I do love to celebrate a season. Yeah. But then I thought, where the fuck am I going to put all this shit? Now. On your loft shelves. Yeah, love shelves. Yeah. People even have like dining sections up there where they put like their dining where

And like different vats, like there was one lady. Hers was really boozy. She had, she's like vases and plates and gravy boats. I don't even own a gravy boat, I don't think. No. She just was really crockery heaven, truly. But there we go, honey. So stay tuned.

We've got a lot planned for the year. God. Watch out, Chris. Watch out. Well, he don't need to know, does he? No. I just got up there for a couple of hours. He'll never if I can know.

He doesn't know if I'm home or not anyway. He doesn't know whether he's coming or going. He walks into one room, he's like, what's it going to be? What's it going to be now? What's it going to be today? Oh, thank you, Becca, so much. Yeah, that is a lovely idea. I wish I was that.

Do you want me to come do your loft? Yeah, I wish I was that mum, but I'm just not organised enough. Mads has even iron me up. Maz has done. I will do. Zofia, you and yours? Oh, honey. That's great content.

If I could pack in a few jobs, obviously free. I don't want to name money for it because it's content. I'll just come around to do everyone. Yeah. You should start Oh, bring me camper van down to Wales Fucking hell It's a holiday

Oh God You should start a business Like there is there are TV shows of people Literally doing this shit Like organising people's lives And basically putting them like On shelves in a garage Yeah

That's wild isn't it It's so simple But I think it's so effective It's so simple but so effective Also you know Some people really really love Having a very minimalistic Very lovely clean aesthetic house

So imagine just having that little treasure up in the loft. A little haven up there. Oh, can you imagine if you sell the house and then people go to move into your house and they're like, this is fucking iconic. Oh, no, this person was a psychopath. This bitch. I hope she didn't pay this in the summer. This bitch was crazy.

This bitch needs to get out more. Someone trapped her in the loft. Someone free her. Blink three times. This is my problem about keeping all the baby bits in the first place, though. I don't want any shit anywhere. So by the time the party's over, I'm like get all the balloons out, get all the streamers out. get all the shit, all the mess,

out of my house and I just throw it all away. Oh, I know. So I'll be like happy 18th kids. You've got nothing to look back on. Do you want my stuff? Fuck, I'll just give you ours. Why is there no pictures? They won't, they'll never remember.

They'll never remember. Why see these pictures of me not wearing any of this? It was so special. It doesn't look like me wearing that hat. You've changed a lot. I choked a few Colby scam pictures in Dotty's box to really pack her out because of accident and haven't as many scans. Can you imagine when they're older?

Why do the dates not, oh, yeah, fucking don't. A second kid, isn't it? When people have a second child, they're like, My sister was like, I didn't take any bump picks because I was already like looking after another child. Just recycle them, just take the date off of memory. This is when I was pregnant with you. Yeah, I looked the same.

There's no evidence of Renly. Just one day he turned up. He just arrived. Didn't even have any scat. Stalk bought him. Yeah. You come on a train with Dumbos. Fucking hell.

Why have I got that tattooed on my fur? So you arrived. Oh, thank you so much, Becca. And if you have any comments, thoughts, funny stories or DIY jobbies? You need me to do. Chobbies. Then do please get in touch.

You can email us hello at secret mumpod.com and with secret mum pod on TikTok and Instagram. Next is time for one of your secrets. Welcome back. We love a secret on the secret mum club. And you're all so good at sharing. So what have you got for us today, Emma? All right, this one comes from Sally. Oh, ooh.

Mustang Sally. Oh, what were you doing? Sally. Sunny. Oh, sorry. Sorry, Sal. Yesterday my heart was filled. Was that one?

Are you thinking of that one? Sally. I thought it was Sally. Sunny. Sally? Well, this is for you, Sally. Sally. Yesterday my life was incomplete.

Anyway, sorry. Sorry, Sally. Hey ladies. Hello. My four-year-old has officially entered the brutally honest phase. Fuck yes. It's the best, isn't it?

You're the best. The other day she walked into the bathroom while I was getting ready and asked, Mommy, why do you have hair there pointing to my foo? I tried to explain that grown-ups have hair in different places. She thought about this for a minute and replied,

OK, but Daddy doesn't have that much. Oh, oh, thanks for the comparison, babe. Then on a separate occasion, we were in the supermarket and an elderly lady smiled at her and said, Hello, my daughter looked at her and loudly announced, Mommy, why does that lady have hair on her face? Whilst I was dying inside, the woman just laughed and said, Because I'm old, darling. My daughter replied, oh, I thought she was...

Oh, God. Oh, God. I thought she was a boy like daddy. Oh, God. I've never exited a supermarket quicker in my life. Please tell me this phase ends quickly. No, it doesn't. In fact, I never ever want it to end.

No. I am going to be the old lady in the supermarket with a full-blown beard, though. I want to be the bearded lady from the greatest showman. Is it the bearded man? No, the bearded lady. Men have beards. You may have beards anyway.

But I want to be that when I get older. That's what I aspire to be. And if children want to touch it, I'll hold them. I can totally imagine you being that woman, that old lady in the supermarket. Oh, this phase, it just doesn't, it doesn't get. It doesn't get.

The only thing I do find is the older they get when they say something. Like we were at the, we were at a, like a venture park the other day and it was sweltering hot and we're in the queue for an ice cream. And Colby went, Mom, look at that man. And I was like, and Colby never says that, like never turned round. And I was like, oh, kind of like, we're so out of character for Colby. So I was like, oh, right, okay. He was like, do know, he's wearing them trousers? is in this weather. I'm sweating. I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, we just can't. And I kind of

look around at the man, I was, oh, I'm really sorry. I think he's looking, because he was getting so hot at people wearing, like, jumpers. He was like, that lady wearing that jumper mom's making me really hot. And I was saying, you know, when he's just like, no, don't know. But at least it wasn't anything about their, like physical, physical appearance. My mum took Joseph out the other day and he was asking why a man had a big tummy. And I was like, yeah, that's not something you can change. And it's, it's really hard. And again, and again, you're, you're bringing the children up, aren't you,

to not pick on, like, a physical feature of somebody. Like, I always say to, like, how we brought the children up and Dottie is so good at it.

Like, when you ask her to, like, explain one of her friends at school, she'll be like, she's got a really lovely personality. She tells the best jokes. She smiles so much

and she's got really smiley eyes. She always say, like a positive thing. She won't say, you know, a physical, you know, something that would upset them

or hurt their feelings or anything like that. Yeah. It just is always nothing about their clothes. It's just always like something, you know, the one that sits with Erica, you know, and you're like, no, I don't know the little girl that sits with it. She's really funny. You know, she tells really great jokes.

I'm like, I've got, now. It's not helping me, but it's a lovely thing to say. And she got brown hair. Well, you can't actually just assume that her hair is black, right? You can. You know, when you think, oh, if I've created a blonde. It's gone too far. Yes, it's gone too far.

But no, I also made me laugh. I find Fufu so funny. Yeah. Fufu will be up there with farts. Yeah. The sound of a fart will forever make me laugh and so will foo-foo. And the fact that people just say, pointing at my foo-foo, yes. Stany came to the toilet with me the other day.

We're staying with my mum and dad at the moment for like a week. And they were wetting themselves because they have to follow me everywhere, like I'll be doing a poo and their both just standing in front of me. So when I take my trousers down, Sandy goes, that's your willing. Yes. She keeps saying that's my, because she's constantly naked because A, it's hot and B, she's potty training. She's constantly saying, there's my willy.

I'm like, I don't know how many times I can tell you. There's a foo. Yeah. What do you call it? Vagina. Yeah. You're straight up saying to it. Straight up vagina, which I know it's meant to be Vover, isn't it?

But I just can't get on board with Vover. I don't know if I can get on board with Vigina. Yeah, she can say, yeah, they both say vagina. Bagina. Borgia. Colby is at the age where he can't say vagina. He says, you know, your lady bits. And I'm like, oh, yeah.

Whereas Dottie would be like, oh my God, my pants are up my foo. And I'm like, I say, do you want to say Vagina. Do you want to say vagina? And she says, no. No. I mean, fair enough. Fair enough. Got to teach them the right words.

I do tell them the right words. Yeah. I sometimes. Also, at what point do you refer to a willie? Yeah, or penis. Penes. No, I don't like penis. If I say to Colby, leave your penis alone.

Or sit down because your penis is leaking everywhere. He is fucking pissing his pants. He's put, oh, I'll say to Chris, oh, you penis. And Colby's like, whey, he's a school dead of penis. And I'm like, I'm like, blah. Like, okay, we'll just stick to Willie. Yeah, I can't get on board with penis. Or dick.

We're doing Willie. Just straight up. Dick. Yeah, dick to me is quite like aggressive. Yeah. Which is like vagina. It's quite an aggressive. It is.

But dicks are aggressive. You wouldn't call someone a vagina, whereas you would call someone like a dick or a dick. Yeah. You'd be like, don't be such a dick. I feel like it's a very fit in term dick for how aggressive a willy is. Yeah. It's accurate. Yeah.

Very accurate. Like Fufu is a nice term because it's a very gentle looking organ. Yeah. Yeah. Is it? I don't think either are great. I don't, I think a willie's a little bit more aggressive. Yeah, they are very aggressive.

I don't think this phase ever ends. No, and I'm here for it. Yeah. I love it. I love it. The other thing, Sadie, she's like two and a half. She's not even like at this age, but I can just, she's so, she's so comical. We went to a like a splash park the other day and she said she needed a poo, so I took her, but we're having loads of false alarm.

So I took her to the public toilet block, sat around the toilet. She was like, no, nothing. I was like, actually, I think while I'm here. I might have a poo who inspired me. So I sat down and did a poo. And she was going, Mommy, you're doing a poo. Now you're doing a poo.

And I was like, shh, I was like, yes, yes, darling. Mommy, now you're doing one. And whenever I go for a wee or a poo, whenever I finish, you guys, good girl. Because that's what I say to her. So I finished my poo in the public toilet. She was like, you've done a poo now, good girl. So the stroke on the knee for me.

Thank you. Or if I do wee wee wee, mine is, Mommy, woo wee on potty. And I'm like, yeah, and then it'll be in the toilet cubicle like, we're on a party. I'm like, yeah, thanks, honey. I will get down and shake it all the belt. Yeah, go me.

Go us. Thank you, Sally. The phase does never end. It will forever continue for the rest of our lives. And we just have to embrace it. We love it. We love it. We're here for it.

And we appreciate you. And even if you do have a foo-foo looking, Willie, or a pub on your face, we're all embracing that. Yeah. So here's to all. us. Girlhood. Give me your DIY ideas.

Please do. You can email us hello at secret mumpod.com or with SecretMumPod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. We'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club.