Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Panties Predicament

Episode Date: October 3, 2024

Soph and Emma share their public toilet nightmares and are wowed by one mum’s creative tummy time tip. Plus, a sweet message from Jess on her same-sex parenting journey, and a cringe-worthy camping shower secret! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Here's a show that we recommend. Celine Dion. My dream? To be an international star. Could it happen again? Could Celine Dion happen again? I'm Thomas Leblanc, and Celine Understood is a four-part series from CBC Podcasts and CBC News, where I piece together the surprising circumstances

that helped manufacture Celine Dion, the pop icon. Celine Understood. Available wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, this is Secret Mum Club. That's Emma. And that's Safina. And welcome to your Thursday's episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. All your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories.

To keep you going through the weekend. Shall we jump on in? Shall we? We seem to get carried away with our Thursday episode and yabber on, don't we? We do, yeah. We've always got so muchber on, don't we? We do, yeah. We've always got so much to say, haven't we? Keep it tight. Keep it tight.

So you want to jump straight in? Yeah, I think we need to get as much done as... Although I have just been in the toilet in the building and someone's pissed all over the floor. I had to like hold my jeans up to not get my jeans in the wee. This is what we're saying about sitting down wee, isn't it? It's a farge. Yeah, I don't know what, they just had a lead up

or just take it out of the pants as soon as you get in the door and just wheel right to the toilet geez aim from the door so i had to hold my trousers up while i was on the toilet and i was busting so much i couldn't go to another loo i don't that's why i never sit on a public toilet seat do you no i hover yeah but i had to hover squat and um sorry about my oh and not get your jeans on the rim yes on the floor because all the weewees is on the floor. Yeah. I hate that in like a train toilet as well. It's always like that, isn't it?

Train toilets are savage. This is why... Party loose. I won't have people walking in my house with their shoes on. Because if you've been... On a train toilet. On a train toilet. And then you're walking on my carpet.

You can fuck right off. Get the fuck out of here. Out of my house. Get out of my house. There's me like we go off on a tangent every time. And here we are. Here we are. Here we are are again all aboard the tangent train we need to get as much done as possible while um sadie is entertained with sophie the giraffe she is happy with sophie the giraffe renna's quotes likes that one yeah yeah thanks for the lend because she is being

very high maintenance today she is she's just a girl with her voice that's all it is she's found her voice she's got as really um she's kind of found her tongue now. She makes these funny sounds like where she's feeling her tongue and she's like, bleh. No, it was a couple of weeks ago, wasn't it? Do you remember every photo of Renly

he was just like this? Stealing his tongue out. Yeah, because I think there's tooth rubs on the bottom of his tongue. Oh, so he's like rubbing it against it. Yeah, so obviously it must feel funny in his mouth.

Yeah, yeah. So he just goes, it's very funny. Anywho. Anywho, so it's time for another. Correspondence Corner. I don't ever remember the last time we did one of those serious.

Where we don't go. So Emma. Take us away with number one please. This is from Jess. She says. Hi Soph and Emma. I'm not a mum yet. But I absolutely adore hearing your stories and advice on motherhood.

Oh, God bless. Thank you. I hope to one day bring a bundle of joy into the world with my fiancé, Danielle. Being in a same-sex relationship, getting pregnant isn't exactly easy, cheap or romantic. There's also not much information out there on how to start a pregnancy journey without breaking the bank. We've considered adoption, but it's always been my dream to become pregnant and have that special moment of meeting our baby for the first time as i want to be mum with a lot of love to give i'd love to hear any advice for same-sex couples on starting a family oh my god isn't this the most beautiful thing in the whole entire world jess i not only love that they've just it's hard isn't it you

don't want to say broken the mold but been true to themselves your friend is in the same sex yeah my friend so my best friend rebecca she's in a same-sex relationship. Yeah, my friend. So my best friend, Rebecca, she's in a same-sex relationship. And I just think it's so phenomenal how like the babies have just took to it like it's nothing. Yeah. Which I find is so wonderful

because they don't question it. They don't say, why you can't have a girlfriend because you're a girl. Yes. Like it is so natural for them. Yeah. And I love that we live

in a world where we are embracing so accepting yes yeah and you know what I find it absolutely phenomenal that there is two males or two females both having babies yes I thought honestly it blows my mind I would love to know more about the process obviously being on social media um there is creators that are sharing their journeys i think a big one is colin abby i do actually know about them on instagram yeah it's a social media thing that i know about oh my goodness and their their journey with hudson is absolutely is they had three babies so she abby has had two and then her and cole have had a baby together, baby Hudson. But I think Abby's, I don't want to speak on anybody else's journey, but I don't know if they've came from a previous relationship before Cole.

But they are, you know, mummy and mum. Yeah. You know, so I would love to know more about this process. Yeah, I mean, I unfortunately don't have much advice for you. No. Because obviously that's not the way that me and you did it. Because I know that you can obviously do, there is another couple that I watch, but I can't for the life of me now think what her name is.

And there's a few that pop up, but I don't want to speak out of turn or say the wrong thing because I would never ever want to be, I would never want it to come across like I'm uneducated on it. you know what I mean I wouldn't want to ever say the wrong words and it be misconstrued yeah but I know that you can do a donor can you it'd be a sperm donor wouldn't yes but I know that Cole and Abby took a bit of both of them wasn't it wasn't the egg retrieval from Cole and then Abby carried the baby? Oh, I don't know. But I know that like with same-sex couples, if it's two women, you can take it in turns to be pregnant.

If you're lucky enough to have two babies, you each carry one. There is another couple. There is another couple, Caitlin and Leah. They have both had. And have carried a baby each. They've both carried a baby each. And they've had a girl and a boy. I don't know much on their journey

though i may have just missed it they probably have spoken about it a lot they're like a lifestyle so they share a lot about their life so they most probably have shared their journey um but they're the only ones i can think of off the top of my head is abby and cole and then caitlin and leah and they had caitlin leah have had one each but you always have to pay a lot of money for this process? I think it is a lot of money. I think that, again, please don't, excuse me if I'm speaking wrong because I don't know much about this at all.

I would assume the donor route is the cheaper route because you would just buy the sperm, would you? And then you have to do, you must have to go through a process where there's like... Is it anmination yeah where you do the insemination yeah yeah yeah so then you would go through that process which yeah but i think the process of ivf to have your genetics like both mums or both dads yeah i think that route is the more expensive and also do you get there is people in a male and female relationship isn't there that go through ivf expensive. And also do you get, there is people in a male and female relationship, isn't there,

that go through IVF? Yeah. But in some places you get a free, you get a couple of free rounds depending on where you live, don't you? And I don't know, I've assumed that should be the same for same sex.

Well, you would like to bloody think it is. I'd like to think so, yeah. But I don't know. I mean, sorry, Jess,

we're not giving you very much valuable advice here. But I think it's a shame that like, you do have to pay a lot of money for a process that same-sex couples if they're lucky enough to conceive naturally yeah you have sex and you get pregnant yeah and then you have a baby and I think that's really and I feel like that's a hard process because not only is Jess and Danielle got this wonderful relationship and this wonderful amount of love for each other and they both want to be parents it's like this bit is we're not we've not caught up with the time to be like

we should be here now supporting same-sex relationships male males and males and females and females like we should be supporting this yeah and they want it so much and you've got so much love to give to a child and you'd be an excellent parent but there's this hurdle in the way of how you get there yeah no i agree it must be so frustrating i know a couple of same-sex male couples who have had babies and the process has been so incredibly expensive so they would then so from the male perspective they would then have a surrogate with yes they they so the couple i'm thinking of are in america and they had a obviously an egg donor and then a surrogate would they so they they so the couple i'm thinking of are in america and they had a obviously an egg donor and then a surrogate to carry the baby okay and it's like thousands and

thousands of pounds and that's just not an avenue that's open to some people but again obviously it's not an option for a male to carry the baby whereas we as females are fortunate in the fact that we well i say fortunate we're not if you're in a predicament where you you're finding this process a lot harder. And it is I feel like it is a hard process for them to have a baby. And it is hard because you want as well. And do you know what? I will say something now. I'm a true believer and I hope there is a lot of people and I hope you do agree that it doesn't matter on the genetics the baby will always be

your baby yeah and regardless of whether you adopt a baby surrogate a baby donor ivf no matter what you will always be that baby's mummy yeah it does none of the none of the fancy bits or or daddy oh yeah none of the all the bits between, all the bits inside make any difference as to you just being the mummy of that baby. Well, it's so funny because like the gay couple that I'm thinking of, like they didn't say whose sperm went to make the baby. But now that the baby's growing up,

everyone's like, yeah, it looks exactly like one of his dads. And everyone's like, yeah, I think we know who the dad is. I love that. And you know as well, there is another couple that I'm thinking of. Glenn Murphy and Ashley. Yes, Ashley has just recently got married to his husband. And they had a little baby girl, Tilly. Oh, I love that name.

But she is, if you was to see her, would say she looks like Ashley but she has all the fairness of her daddy her other dad yeah her other daddy so she's and it's nice because I think I don't know their process and I don't know how they they got obviously I know they had a surrogate to carry the baby but I just think that when the baby comes being around you it doesn't matter how the baby is made or where the baby goes i feel like they mold into you anyway the same goes for adoption like even if the baby isn't genetically either genetically that's the word i'm looking for it obviously still is your baby yes so i hope that whatever path you go down i hope that if anybody is in

the same position as jess and danielle if you could let in a message in and let us know because there's probably people out there that know a lot more about this yes yes and i don't want it the i hope this doesn't come across in very uneducated opinion of mine because i don't fucking know anything yeah i mean we like we say we haven't experienced it but and it's hard sometimes to talk on a topic that you haven't personally been through yeah or are ever going to experience i sometimes feel like i'm a bit hypocritical. Like speaking out of turn. Yeah, I do.

I do feel like I'm speaking out of turn. But if anyone can shed any light on this, we would absolutely love to share that. And we'll come back to it because that probably wasn't very useful, Jess. But I hope that whatever path you choose, you get there. And I'm so happy for you. What a beautiful, beautiful journey they're on. Oh, thank you so much.

All right. We've got another one here um it says hi ladies i just listened to your episode where you mentioned that renly and sadie hate tummy time and i completely empathize my three months old harrison hates it too every time we try he just lies there face down i recently had a breakthrough though and wanted to share in case it helps oh my gosh i've been placing him on an old exercise ball from my pregnancy i assume she's holding him i would say he's not just floating i'm walking in the air like what amazing call for a baby

um for my pregnancy and he loves looking up to watch the tv he especially loves watching football and after his tummy time he gets a reward boob time oh what a lad he's absolutely in his element and it's the only thing that's worked so far i just hope i'm not setting him up to be a total lad when he's older yeah tits and football yeah football and boobs love the podcast abby oh abby i love that i love how she's orchestrated her like we do a task and then you get a reward yes the boobie is the reward yeah and the football brendan loves the football because it's so green on the telly do you know what we i started doing that with joseph i put him in his bouncy chair he'd be watching the football because it's so green on the telly. Do you know what? I started doing that with Joseph. I'd put him in his bouncy chair. He'd be watching the football because of all the colours.

My friend was like, oh, Manchester Derby is the one because you'd have like red, green and blue all on the screen at the same time. So you're watching like football matches on repeat on Match of the Day and he'd sit in his bouncy chair and get a big poo out. Yes. It was a big part of our routine, that. That is great, that is. Yeah, Renly likes checking up on his emails and his little table.

It's like an email. It's got a sellotape dispenser and everything on it. And then he just watches the football up. Multitasking. Yeah. Oh, I love that. Yeah, genius. What a great idea.

And a good way to use your pregnancy ball. Yeah. Because it's like one of those things that you buy and then you never use it again, isn't it? Never again. Mine's under the bed now collecting dust. Yes. Because I will never use it.

Never. Again. Never. Again. Again. Unless I start going to some crazy ball classes. That come out wrong. I need no assistance with any balls. Or try it with Renly. Yes. Get him on the ball.

Now he's started to roll back and forth. Yes. He's getting a little bit of arm movement. We can get a good couple of seconds out of him on his belly. Yeah. And then he yaks a a bit they get a bit more into it the more comfortable they get with rolling what makes me laugh as he just does this it's so funny when they've done like too much lifting their neck up and they're tired and they just go face plant on the floor i've had enough oh fuck and the arms his arms are always straight straight behind his back and he's like this so he just started

sleeping on her tummy stop which I'm a bit like is she rolling over onto her tummy or you're putting her on her tummy she rolls over

so I was a bit worried about it the first time I saw it in the night because she was just on her tummy and like I just woke up and happened to see her kind of like eating

the mattress she could still breathe and she was fine but she's not as good at getting back onto her back and I remember someone wrote in about this a few weeks ago saying that their four month old were going

one way but not the other and i thought there's not much i can do about it she's going to be doing it in the middle of the night and i brought her in to sleep with me because i was a bit concerned about it and she rolled over again there's nothing i can do to stop it but i'm also excited because she might sleep better that way because joseph always sleeps on his front colby and dotty were both tummy sleepers once she can do it yeah so once she can do it i feel like that might actually be the gateway to a longer sleep for us yes so i'm kind of excited but i just have to make sure she can yeah we've mastered rolling forward and we're rolling both ways so he can roll onto his tummy one to the left and to the right nice we just can't get back oh okay we got the arm like

yeah stuck underneath yeah yeah. Yeah. Oh. I love that though. Yeah, thanks, Abby. Thank you, Abby, so much. What a treasure you are. Treasure. Everyone's going to be trying this now. Yeah.

Sharing the nation. Top tip. Top tips. So thank you so much for your messages. If you have any comments, thoughts, or fun stories, why not get in touch? Email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with secretmumpod on TikTok and Instagram. Next is time for one of your secrets. So Emma, what have you got today?

All right, this one comes from Dani. She says, hello ladies. I've got something funny to share that I still cringe about two years later. Oh my Christ. We were on a family camping trip and it was shower time for my nieces two and five. My sister asked if I could help the girls in the shower. And so I agreed to take the eldest in with me. It was a very full shower room

so we had to wait for a cubicle. But once we got in, we got undressed, got her showered and then it was my turn. I asked her to wait for me so obviously she kept opening the door whilst I was stark as, obviously. But that's not even the most embarrassing bit. We finished up in the shower

and now it was time to get dressed. As I started putting my underwear on, she shouted, oh, Auntie Nellie, why are you putting your dirty knickers back on i quickly tried to reply and show her that my knickers were all the same style but she then ran out of the cubicle found my sister and as loud as she could she shouted mummy auntie nelly is wearing dirty knickers horrified and why did she think they were dirty because she'd let them go gray in the wash. No, they must be all the same pattern.

So she must have seen her take them ones off. And put another style back on. And the exact same pair back on that are clean. Now everyone thinks in the camping site, thinks you've got dirty knickers. Putting on your filthy underpants. There's nothing worse though than when you go swimming. You know, we've been going swimming a lot at the gym.

Oh, and you forget your fucking pants. You've got to put your sweaty old knickers back on oh god it's the most irritating thing when you go commando yeah i don't think i've ever done it commando i wouldn't trust my bladder now what swimming after all the babies are taking half the fucking pool yeah i'll be leaking from here to your bloody home yeah from here to southampton no that is hilarious isn't it oh my god there is times when i because i got the like the flesh coloured pants, that Dottie would say,

didn't you wear those pants on Monday? And it'd be Friday. And I'd be like, yeah. They're the same pair. They come in a pack. But they're not the same pair. They're a clean version of the same pair. It's not to explain to a child.

It's too much, isn't it? It's too much to explain. Oh, God bless you though. I love the idea that you were stuck with those people on holiday for like the whole week as well and everyone thought you were a dirty bitch. With your dirty knickers.

Have you been accused of wearing dirty knickers? Let us know. Email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with secretmumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. And we'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

Céline Dion. My dream? To be an international star. Could it happen again? Could Céline Dion happen again? I'm Thomas Leblanc, and Céline Understood is a four-part series from CBC Podcasts and CBC News,

where I piece together the surprising circumstances that helped manufacture Celine Dion, the pop icon. Celine Understood. Available wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com ACAST powers the world's best podcasts.

Here's a show that we recommend. Céline Dion. My dream? To be an international star. Could it happen again? Could Celine Dion happen again? I'm Thomas Leblanc, and Celine Understood is a four-part series from CBC Podcasts and CBC News, where I piece together the surprising circumstances that helped manufacture Celine Dion, the pop icon. Celine Understood. Available wherever you get your podcasts.