Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The PCOS Journey

Episode Date: January 30, 2025

The highs and lows of mum life continue as we hear the weird things people have said to parents in public and a Sudocrem disaster unfolds in the living room. Meanwhile, a listener opens up about her struggles with PCOS and fertility, sparking Soph to share her own story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Speaking from experience James. No comment. So grab your headphones and your carry-on and let's make your next trip unforgettable for the right reasons. Passports Please is available to listen wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursday's Thursday episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. Squeeze your bits. You keep asking me and one day. Gets me every time. I'll say yes. I will squeeze your bits. All of your comments, thoughts, questions, and fun stories to keep you going through the weekend. Shall we jump on in? It's the Doe from the Bear.

["Shootin' Stars"] Name the show. Shooting Stars, only people of a certain age and nationality will get that. Welcome to Shooting Stars. Welcome, whoever you are, come along. They go like, I like banana and I like cheese. Come along and let's play Shooting Stars.

Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. Oh, it's good, isn't it? Iconic. Yeah, anyway. What a blast from the past. What a blast from the past. What a blast from the past. Very nostalgic for the...

50th throwback, mark them up. I put my telephone voice, didn't I, on the intercom today and you thought there was a new PA up here. Yeah, I buzzed up and Safina went, just a moment, Emma, and we'll let you in. And I came upstairs and I said, who the fuck is that? New member of staff. Do you remember it was me? It was me.

I put my telephone voice on. Put your secretary voice on, weren't you? For the whole people downstairs. The whole people. The whole people. Instead of half of them. The whole people. The whole people could hear me. Yeah, everyone went, she sounds fancy. She sounds fancy. I said, she's not. She's common as much. She's a bitch. Right, it's Correspondence corner. Lovely. Thank you. Here all week. Just wet the whistle.

How many drinks have you got on the go? I've got loads actually. You've got a herbal tea. A herbal tea. And a water. A matcha smoothie and a water. Staying hydrated. I'm a hydration queen.

Thirsty bitch. Thirsty bitch. Okay'm a hydration queen. Thirsty bitch. Okay. Thirsty bitch. Right. Anywho, as we were. Yeah. Ready? Yes. All right. This one says, hi both. I was just listening to the unbearable baby breath episode where you talked about the things people say when you're pregnant. And it reminded me of something that happened to me when I was expecting my now 24 year old. Wowzers. A random person on the bus said to me, you're not pregnant, you're just fat. I was on my way to an antenatal appointment at the time.

There's an eight year age gap between my two boys and they have different dads. I've even had people forget I have two kids. Thanks for the pod, Angie. Angie, how rude. I'm sorry what? Some fucking stranger on a bus turned and said, you're not fat, you're not pregnant, you're fat.

Yeah, that really happened to someone. What in the fucking Lord above would anybody in their right mind ever say that? People are mad. Disgusting! Disgusting! People are mad. You forget how mad members of the public are.

Honestly. Wild. Do you know what, right? I'm actually in the stage as well of weird shit that strangers say to you. You get a lot as well. You get a lot of weird things. I could just walk past my trolley, bloody hell you got your hands full.

Yeah. All right. Good day to you, sir. All right, yeah. Or when I'm out with all three children. Yeah, bloody hell you got your hands full. Okay. Okay, thank you.

An eight year age gap, that's basically what you've got between Colby and Renly, but you've got Dottie in between. Have got Dottie in the middle. Yeah. But people forget she's got two kids. Yeah, that's sad.

Because they're so far apart. Yeah, that is really sad because I think we've got the one where Dottie is in the middle, she's kind of breaks it up a little bit. Plus it's the two boys and one girl. Yeah. I think she said she's got two boys, hasn't she? Yeah. God bless her heart.

Also, when Angie says 24 years ago, I'm like, oh, that must have been like the 80s or something. Not that there's ever an excuse for that behavior, but that's literally 2001. It's 24 years ago. 24 years ago, basically, was only like yesterday, you know, when I left school. It's not, you know, it's not in the 20s. You don't think it's back in the day. I mean, I always think 20 years ago is 1980. And do you know what I think? Gosh, 24 or 25, you know, 24 years ago, I think gosh, that's, I was a baby then. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, fuck, hold on. 20 years ago. 20 years ago. We were 16. Yeah, we left in 2004. So it'll be 21 years this year.

I left school in 2004. 21 years, 21 years. 21 years. It's crazy, isn't it? Ready for a reunion. Fuck that shit. No, thank you. No.

I've never been to a reunion of you. My school had one and I was not invited. I don't even know if mine had one, but I would not be going. No, I've been so happy to not be invited to something. But Angie, fuck that. Yeah, fuck that person. Is it now, I need to know Angie,

is it now growing up, now that the boys are grown up, do people, are we saying there is an eight year age gap between my two boys and they have different dads? I've even had people forget I have two children. So I wonder now that they're even grown up, do people forget that there's two babies? Yeah. Because they're either, I. Yeah. Do people forget that there's two babies? Yeah. Because they're either, I don't know which way around it is, but they're either going to be 16 and 24 or 24 and 32. 32, yeah. So we need to know.

It's mad because like 16 and 24 seems like a massive age gap because you're at such different like points in your life. But then between 24 and 32 doesn't seem like an age gap at all because you're just adults. It's funny, isn't it? But Angie, we appreciate you. And sorry that that happened to you. Yeah, sorry that, well, not just happened, but is happening. Yeah, probably still happens. Because if it's still happening now

that people don't, it's just so random, isn't it? People just need to back the fuck up. We've got you, Angie, don't you worry. We appreciate you and your boys. All right, ready for another one? Yes. We've got Vicky on. She says, hi, lovely ladies.

Hello. I'm a mum to two girls, one eight another one? Yes. We've got Vicky on. She says, hi, lovely ladies. Hello. I'm a mum to two girls, one eight and the other two. Soph, you talking about Dottie being tall really resonated with me. My eight-year-old is above average height for her age too and sometimes feels self-conscious about her tummy, saying it sticks out. I found some great inclusive body positive books

that have helped us called All Bodies Are Good Bodies by Margaret Samora and All Are Welcome by Alexandra Penfold. I 100% recommend reading them with your little ones. Oh my gosh, I'm going to get them. Yeah. Because we are, do you know something that actually I've noticed, she is asking me why my belly is so big. So now because of this, we've had this thing of her being saying that she's big and I said, you're not big, you are tall. So she's constantly, I don't know why she does it,

but she's still constantly looking in the mirror and I kind of just scoop her up and go, oh, I love you. I love your little body. Like I love you, you know? And I'm trying to, I speak to myself very positively and I make sure that I do it in front of the children especially, but also I speak to myself very positively and I make sure that I do it in front of the children especially but also I speak very positively about them. I constantly tell them, well they're my babies and I think they're beautiful but I'm constantly telling them how beautiful they are. You know I do want to reassure them, I don't want them having any bad thoughts on their self or their image but she's now started to try and put her hands around my waist and she just goes why are you so big?

What do you say to that? I don't know. I wanted to say for to swallow me at one point. I was like, And then in the second, why are you so tiny? I wish mine was that. I think just because I'm big compared to him. Oh, he asked why you're big or tiny. Well, why I'm big. I think he remembers a lot. He talks about me being pregnant a lot. So he'd be like, oh, mommy had a big tummy. He's like obsessed with that.

But yeah. I just make a joke of it. Well, not a joke of it. I'm just like, well, I am going to be bigger because I'm 30 years older than you. Like when you grow up and you're a woman, you'll be bigger than children because children are tiny and they've got all this room to grow.

So we're like talking about it, but she she went to me, why? Why is your tummy so big? Your arms are big, your face is big, your legs are big, your butt so squishy. But I love it. I love that it's so squishy. And then she was like, anywho, haven't you worn this outfit for two days? And I was like, you know what? Fuck this.

I was literally like, I'm fucking out. I'm not here to get roasted by my six year old. I'm trying my best, Dotty. Give me a fucking break. I just said, darling, look, mom's not doing any washing. She went fair play. Yeah. I said, I can't.

You're going through knickers and clothing like no man's business. There's no tomorrow. I know. I can't keep up with it, Dot. And now what with your little brother? I said, I'll be naked next week. She went, please, please don't. Okay. The kids, I wash their clothes every time. Me,

I'll be wearing something for a week. I'm trying to double down on the school uniform though. I'm normally a one day wash. I'm pajamas one day wash. I won't move on the children's pajamas though. Really? I'm a one wash on the- I do two to three days. On the children's jammies just because I don't know, just worry about sweat and hormones and all of that. Only now that they're getting bigger. But Reners eats his breakfast and his jammies, so I can't get him out of here. Oh yeah, Sadie's there's no salvaging them. She starts to take her bib off as well, so they're fucked.

Well, but have given myself, so I'm doing one pair of pajamas, because I normally change mine every night. Oh, and you're doing one? One pajama one week. For a week? Oh, nice. Yeah. So making sure.

And I'll tell you what's actually helping with that is making sure because sometimes I won't have a shower, don't judge me, before bed. I'll have one in the morning. I think that's more common. So now every night I have myself a shower. I'm feeling great in the morning. Yeah. I won't lie.

I don't change my pajamas that much because I do shower before bed. So I'm getting into them fresh. Whereas where I wasn't doing that, I was like, I need to put clean pajamas on because I won't lie. I don't change my pajamas that much because I do shower before bed So I'm getting into them fresh Whereas where I wasn't doing that I was like I need to put clean pajamas on so don't want to get yeah No, you mean my dirty body into a clean minor off first thing in the morning as well whip them off I can't bear being in my pajamas all day. No, I'd love I'd say I'd wear mine everywhere if I could yeah Love them. Oh, no, I love my pajamas. I'm a day stresses me out What if we're not all dressed by like 8.30, I come out in hives. Get the fuck out.

If we could all go out in our pajamas, we would. It's divine. So try those books. I'm gonna try them. Thank you Vicky for recommending those. They sound incredible, don't they? Yeah, and they've really helped Vicky. So.

Yeah, amazing. Thank you Vicky, I'll keep you posted. Give them a go. I will. We've got one more message here from Emma. Hello to you. Another one. And to another Emma. Says, hey, Soph and Emma, after listening to the Vaseline baby episode, Give them a go. I will. We've got one more message here from Emma. Hello to you. Another one.

And to another Emma. It says, Hey, Soph and Emma, after listening to the Vaseline baby episode, I got flashbacks to six years ago. My son Jackson thought it would be a great idea to smear pseudo cream all over himself, the carpet and the TV stand. Please see the photo attached. I can confirm it took ages to clean. Oh my God.

Look at this. Are you ready? Oh my God, he's so beautiful. Look at his little face. Oh, how can you be angry at him, Emma? Oh, he's even got his little car. Look at his little car. Oh my God. You just couldn't be angry.

Look at his sweet little face. He's having the time of his life. He looks- Listen, I'd rather Sudocrum than Vaseline. No, that doesn't come out. Yeah, that looks like fun though, doesn't it? Oh, don't leave them loose with the Tava Sudocrine. Oh, his little hand print on the carpet. Where he's been. Oh, he's having the time of his life Emma. Oh, he looks like butter wouldn't melt. Doesn't he? What a sweet little boy. There's something so delicious about the baby when they're in just the vest when they run

around in the summer. I gosh, it's so sweet. Thank you for your messages. If you have any comments, thoughts or funny stories, why not get in touch? You can email us hello at secret mum pod.com or with secret mum pod on tick tock and Instagram. Next is time for one of your secrets. Calling all holiday lovers, welcome to Passports Please, the podcast that hacks your holidays. I'm Chelsea, also known as the cheap holiday expert online.

And I'm James, the one that just loves a holiday. Fancy finding out how to blag your way through a city break without a plan? Covered. Wondering what you should do if you ever forget your passport? Speaking from experience, James. No comment. So grab your headphones and your carry-on and let's make your next trip unforgettable for the right reasons. Passports, please, is available to listen wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome back. We love a secret on the secret mum club. And you are all so good at sharing. So Emma, what have you got for us today? All right. This comes from Jane in Ireland. Hello Jane. She says, hey ladies, I've recently become a keen listener of your podcast and I have to say how much I absolutely love it. We love you Jane. God bless you.

Even though I'm only 19 and hopefully a long way off having kids you never fail to bring a smile to my face. I do have a question for you. Okay. I was recently diagnosed with PCOS, that's polycystic ovary syndrome. Yeah. And I was told it might be very difficult for me to have children. I never thought that would bother me because I've always been happy as the fun aunt but listening to your podcast has made me adamant that I'd love to be a mom someday. Do either of you have any experience with PCOS or know someone who does? And do you have any advice for keeping my body healthy

so that when the time comes, I haven't made things harder for myself? Jay! I don't think we've ever spoken about this, have we? I don't think we have. Don't you think, well, one, we've never covered it on the pod. No. And two, we've never spoken about it with each other.

No. I don't think. No. And two, We've never spoken about it with each other. No. I don't think. No. Do you have any experience with this? I have PCOS. Do you? Yeah. I had it from a really, really, really young age.

I didn't know that. And how funny, because this is basically, I got diagnosed at 19. Yeah. Did you? And I got told that I would struggle with fertility. I don't know whether it's a safety blanket or I'm not really too sure as to why, but we know it's to do with our ovaries, cysts on our ovaries, very similar to endometriosis. When I say similar, I don't want people to think I don't know the difference between the two. I do. They're both sort of

that area. And they both come with fertility issues. Yes, my sister had endometriosis. Did have a lot of complications. Also tried to, she had some keyhole surgery and things. I'm not too sure the inner details and obviously it's my sister, but she's gone on to have four children. And she was fine conceiving all four of them.

All four of them had them all naturally and done great. But yeah, I had PCOS so I got diagnosed at 19 and I again was so content with just being the fun auntie like what my sister had Eden and I was I don't know I think because I'd had so many failed boyfriends maybe I know looking back when I was in that stage and I was 19, I felt very grown up and I felt very like, I'm such a grown up, I'm such an adult. And I kind of had failed boyfriends and I was like, do you know what? I just don't think I'm destined to be a mum. I think I'm just destined to be auntie. I then did go

on to have more complications with regards to my smears. So I was going through all of that and trying to process my PCOS, trying to keep my weight under control. I've got severe facial hair, still now do, get it all around my chin. Is that a side effect? Yeah, facial hair, weight gain, basically messes with your insulin.

So PCOS messes with your insulin of your body, very similar to diabetes. So when I fell pregnant with Colby, I don't wanna lose you to diabetes. So when I fell pregnant with Colby, I don't wanna lose you too much, but when I fell pregnant with Colby, I got gestational diabetes because of my insulin levels, which rooting back was because of my PCOS, but very dietary.

So I was all dietary dependent. I didn't need to take insulin when I was pregnant with Colby. Mine was all managed under dietary. Then when I had Colby, I just went back to normal, had loads of checkups and had, you know, check up on my PCOS because I was still, because when I had Colby, they were, they said potentially your PCOS will go, or it could still be there, or it could be worse, or we'll just have to assess you after you've had the baby.

And what happened after Colby? Did they check you for it again? So after I had Colby, they checked me and they were just like, no, no, no, no cysts on your ovaries. My weight was under control, but I'd been on a very strict diet when I was pregnant with Colby because of the gestational diabetes. That could have been what solved it. But then when I fell pregnant with Dottie, after I had her. You had it again?

I had. So it can come and go? I didn't think it could. I thought it just stayed, but when I've had checks and stuff on it before, but I've very much, I think it stopped after having Colby because I don't have any of the pain anymore.

I still get the facial hair. I still struggle with my weight, but I think because it's been so long for me now, I can manage my weight. But right back at the start, when I got diagnosed, I actually, I went on metformin, which is a tablet to help you have your normal periods, help with your weight, help with your insulin levels,

help with facial hair. It's meant to help with everything. There's lots of other different ones that you can take, but I chose metformin. It also is meant to help with your insulin levels, help with facial hair. It's meant to help with everything. There's lots of other different ones that you can take, but I chose metformin. It also is meant to help with fertility. I didn't take it for the fertility because I was 19. I didn't really need to take it and so forth. So I took it to just control everything in my body.

And I very much just went on a self discovery. I very much absorbed my sister's children and went on, because I got diagnosed at 18, but I didn't feel pregnant until I was 27. So I- And do you mind me asking, like when you got pregnant with Colby, that was all straightforward conception?

All straightforward, which they told me, well, it wasn't planned. So you got pregnant. So I lived, that's what I was about to say. I lived for eight years, nine years of being told that I was never gonna to be able to have children or if I did, I'd really, really struggle. But the chances of me conceiving naturally weren't going to happen. I felt very scaremongered by the NHS, but I don't know again if that

was just because I was young and I just wasn't taking the information in very well. So I'd gone nine years. I'd gone nine years of not only looking after my body, making sure I was using sanitary towels, I wasn't using tampons because I didn't want to, I didn't want to do anything to affect it even more than maybe what had happened. I think when I first got diagnosed, I was really angry at my body. I was really angry at myself. I felt like I'd let myself down. I'd let my body down. I'd not eaten healthy food and I'd not done the right thing. That's not necessarily the case. Like Jane might just have it because some people just have it, right? Some people just have it. But my situation was that I was, I had a really hairy face.

I was really overweight. I wasn't looking after myself. So you maybe weren't the healthiest. No. And I felt really angry at myself. And I think because I was in such a negative headspace, receiving information from the NHS come to me, I think very negatively. So I just went on this journey for about eight, nine years of me, one, absorbing my sister's children and taking all of that in very much self-discovery as to, OK, what is my life going to be if I'm not going to have children? Because I was so blinkered into I'm not having children, it's never going to happen. I can't meet anybody. I've kept myself very much in my own lane. I was very angry with the world about it because I wanted to be a mum. I wanted children. So I just

went on this journey of one, looking after myself, being the best version of myself, doing everything that I wanted to do as much as I could do in the situation that I was in, but very much living for me. And it wasn't till probably maybe when I turned 25, because I'd carried so much of the anger of being told that I wouldn't be able to have children. I think when I got to 25, I wasn't with anybody. I was on my own. I'd gone through loads of failed relationships. I had other medical problems with my cervix and things like that. I'd kind of just gone, do you know what?

Life is just going to be what it's going to be. And I kind of let it go. I did kind of let it go. The anger kind of went and I started and I always say 25 was the year that I found myself and I focused on myself and I just forgot everything. I just gave up on everything and I just channeled my inner self. And then 26, met Chris and-

27, you got pregnant? 27, I got pregnant. Actually no, I met him at 26. And then I met him in the May. We got together in the July and then I fell pregnant in the November and then we had Colby the following August. So that's 26, 27, 28. And three natural conceptions since then or two, sorry.

All three. Dotty and Renly as well. Dotty, yeah, Colby, Dotty and Renly, all natural, all natural. So it doesn't necessarily mean you're going to never be able to have kids. And I think sometimes when I got told that I wasn't going to have children, I again felt like I put unnecessary stress on myself. And I think knowing that you have PCOS and when they say, oh, it gives you fertility issues or there is a possibility of fertility issues,

you then go into your own head. Like, you know, when you're waiting for your period to start and your period doesn't start because you're thinking about it. I think sometimes there's not enough positive light put on that yes, okay, it does cause, fertility is one of the things, but it also causes a lot of other things,

extreme discomfort, incredible amounts of pain. I had the most horrendous periods like clotting, heavy periods where I generally couldn't get out of bed. I could go weeks without having a period and then I'd have a period and it was literally like I generally thought I was dying. It was horrendous, huge clots. That's what I used to pass. I was not comfortable in my weight. My weight felt very heavy. I was shaving my face and I was just like, what the fuck is my life? And I think because when you go on to read about PCOS, it's either very factual or very negative. I don't feel like there's ever enough positive talk around it. But I

definitely do think you need to channel yourself. I'm not gonna say it's gonna happen overnight. I definitely think you need to look after yourself, live your life, be the best version of yourself, live with, you know, live with what it is as best as you can. PCOS, if there's something you can help. I don't know how regular periods are and things like that. So do find the best route for you. Like my periods were irregular. Obviously I needed some help with my weight because I was dieting and I couldn't lose any weight at all. And from 19 to 23, I didn't actually have anything. It wasn't until I turned 23 that I actually had been dieting for three, four years, not losing any weight.

And then I got put on the Metformin to help. So I definitely think you need to find your route, take time, be gentle on yourself. You are still incredibly, incredibly young. And I think there is so much more now that they can do to support and to help you. And just because you have it now, it doesn't mean you'll always have it.

My sister was told that she had it 10 years ago, had more fertility scans recently and was like, no, you're fine. It's literally like when I had Colby and then after I had him, they were like, no, everything's gone. There's nothing there anymore, nothing to be concerned about. Still got a hairy face though. So I still think there's something. I still produce too much testosterone. Too much of something, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Big masculine energy. Big masculine energy in my body.

But yeah, it doesn't mean you'll never be a mom. I mean, look at you now, three beautiful children. To think that you thought you would never be a mom is wild to me. To think that I froze my eggs, I had my sister down to be a surrogate, and I was fully prepared for my sister to carry my baby. It's amazing really that you've now had three babies naturally. And I've gone and had three of my own babies. I've donated my eggs

and there's probably other babies in the world from the eggs. Yeah. So yeah, don't lose hope. I think very much try and keep yourself in a very positive head space. Look after yourself, listen to your body. And yeah, everything will be what it's meant to be. You will figure it out. You will figure it out. And I don't want to be that person that

says, oh, you'll get there in the end. But I promise you, you will figure it out. Mine took a really long time. Mine took like eight, seven, eight years to get me to- Jane's only 19. She's pretty young still. I'm only 19. You've got your whole world ahead of you. we appreciate you for being here and thank you for bringing up such an incredible topic to talk about. Yeah, it was a good one to talk about because I didn't realize you had such a- That was all over the place.

That was a short story long as well. Yeah, sorry. I didn't realize you had such direct experience of it though and it is from what I hear from my friends and just about, it's so common. It's so common. It is so common. It is really, really common, yeah.

And I just don't think it's talked about enough in the sense of a positive side of it. Yeah. You're a really good example of how it can turn out. So thank you, Jane, for getting in touch with that. Thank you, Jane. And look after yourself. God bless you. Have you got any experience with PCOS? Then do let us know. Yeah, you can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. And we'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode.

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And I'm James, the one that just loves a holiday. Fancy finding out how to blag your way through a city break without a plan? Covered. Wondering what you should do if you ever forget your passport? Speaking from experience, James. No comment. So grab your headphones and your carry-on and let's make your next trip unforgettable for the right reasons. Passports, please, is available to listen wherever you get your podcasts.