Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Pee Pee Pool and Poo Poo House

Episode Date: June 2, 2026

Half term has descended, it's 35 degrees, and nobody is coping. Renley has fully abandoned the potty in favour of the paddling pool, and Emma is desperately searching for things to keep the kids entertained. Plus, one soon-to-be mum is feeling the perils of pregnancy brain after a food craving run that really doesn't go to plan!Emma Spring Bank Holiday Sale is live! Get up to 25% off plus extra 5% using the code SECRETSLEEP at Emma Sleep.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And this podcast is a safe space for for Mum's Everywhere. A safe space to share our secrets. Because we all have secrets, don't we? We do. And as we know, sharing is caring. You don't even have to tell us who you are. Keep that to yourself. You can be anonymous. And those secrets can be serious or silly. All secrets are welcome in the... If you can't tell, we're on a slight time delay. But by the time this is edited, there will be no time delay. Yeah, if you can't tell, I'm not in the studio today. So we're all right. on a slight. We're dealing with that this was like when we had the babies and we were doing it

from home and you just have to like wait a millisecond after everything you say just to make sure I've caught up. We are having slight difficulties with the world, aren't we? Yeah, the world is melting basically. As we're recording this, it's the hottest May ever and my trains were fucked so I couldn't come in. My driveway is melted. My brand new tarmac on my driveway is melted. Is that not the driveway you did a couple of weeks ago? Yeah, yeah, that's melted. Oh, you're joking. I don't even know what to do about it.

Are they going to repair it? Is this how we get great, good, great British potholes? I don't know. This country is not equipped for these temperatures. It was 35 degrees yesterday. It's too much. 35. We shouldn't complain, because we're always like, oh, the weather's shit,

but this is what British people do. And then when it's hot, we say, I don't want to be that person, but it really is a bit too much. Might be a bit odd. It's a little bit much. But have you been? I'm okay, just literally trying to cope in this heat, because obviously it coincides as well with half term for us. It's half term for you as well.

Yeah, what a glorious week, though, to have half term on? Yeah, but I'm like, what am I going to do with these kids? Because actually, I think you think, oh, it's so much easier. It's a parent when the weather's nice outside. Yeah, I think when the weather's nice to a point, like if it was like 23, 24 and sunny, great. Now I'm like, I've got to keep these kids inside because it's too much. What have you been doing? It's hard, though, for the half term because not only is it blistering sunny.

sunshine, everywhere is fucking rammed. But I had to go to Tesco just to get some aircon the other day. I was like, we're going to have to go to Tesco. Every man and their dog were there. Everyone was there. It was absolute carnage. But I'm really lucky with the new garden. Obviously, 10 years in the bungalow, and if anyone's been here for a long time, we'll know,

that it was a south facing garden. So it was blistering hot. But where we are now is all trees and all shaded. So everyone has been, everyone's been coming in. My brother's been over. my sister, all the children, and it's just been where we've had the bank holiday weekend, everyone's just been, everyone's just been at my house and it's been absolutely wonderful. I'm not going to lie, I did go and buy a swimming pool.

Did you, a proper, proper one? Wow, not dug into the ground. No, but like a big paddling pool. Yeah, it's got posts and a little ladder to get it. Yes. Yes. Yes. So it's been a joyous time.

We have nothing, because obviously moved into the house and had like no equipment. So we're just invited, we're like the opposite of you. We're not hosting. and we're inviting ourselves around everyone else's house. You're welcome anytime. Come by. Yeah, well, thank you. It's a little bit of a trek. But we're like, my plan at the beginning of the bank holiday weekend was just text everyone and see

what they're up to. And a few people bit and they were like, yeah, no plans really. And it's going to be really hot. We've got the paddling pool out. We'll do a barbecue. Do you want to come over? Yes, I'll be there. Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday.

Spare room? Can we just sleep there? Would that be great? I do. I really think we outstayed our welcome at our friend's house the other day. They were like, so we've really got a lot. crack on with like, you know, tea time and bedtime and stuff. And we were like, well, that's such a good time. We never want to leave. Bless them. They were so good. What are you doing for tea then? Can I,

can we join you for tea as well? Yeah. They were so good. They were like, oh, because their kids are a bit older. They were like, just say they still nap. I was like, yeah, but I can just push around in the buggy. But I couldn't have actually, like, it was way, it was way too hot. So we got there and they had like a travel cot set up in a nice dark room and they'd got their monitor back out and charged it because they don't use it for their kids anymore. But she got there and she had a lovely nap in a cool, dark room, and then they made lunch for us, and they had all their toys out for Joseph, and it was just, it was just the best. And the thing is to hear about journey times, like, we are so close to everyone. Like, in London, it takes like, I'd say like an hour

to get anywhere to anywhere. But our kids, even our kids, even our friends that we consider to be like far away now, like these particular friends are in Newport, which is like, you know, not far from Cardiff, but they're like, well, it's a little bit far for the day. You're going to be all right. It's about half an hour drive and I'm like, that's absolutely fine. Yeah, we'll be there at 10. We'll be there at 8 a.m. Yeah, we'll be there from 8 to late. So we've been having a lovely time. Oh, it's just so nice, isn't it? The sun just brings out so much goodness in everyone, doesn't it? I know, but we do, we really need to get stocked up in the garden because we moved across with like nothing. You know how it is? It's like, when

you're paddling pool goes moldy in the shed at the old house, like that's, that's not coming with us. So we moved in November. You fuck it. You fuck your eyes off. Check it, check it, it, fuck it.

Yeah. Check it, minute, chuck it, fuck it. Down the tips. So nothing made it over with us. Because we moved in November. And now we're having really nice weather.

And the kids are like, they're so bored because they're like, there's literally grass. There's nothing to do in this garden. So I'm really, I'm trying to source like a trampoline, a paddling pool, like a little slide,

maybe a swing. We've got them some like, got them a bubble machine and a football and they were entertained for like 15 minutes. Yeah. I need to get them some like proper shit, you know. Joseph's now finally going in the garden and this fuck all for him to do. Yeah, I know.

I know. He's finally, like, he's got so much better than he was. Like, he was, he was literally scared of the sky, like, scared of the outside, wasn't he? He was so, you could not get him out there. And now, I mean, he's still, like, so different to Sadie. Like, when we went to my friend's house, as soon as we got there, she was like, off, off, off, close off in the paddling pool naked straight away. Joseph still wants to sit, you know, indoors and play his toys. So they're not, like, they're still not quite, you know, the same.

But he's so much better than he was. By the time we left, he did warm up. He got himself in the paddling pool. He was out in the sun. He was playing with the other boys. So, I mean, he's come on leaps and bounds. He really has. He's flowing us away, isn't he?

Honestly, phenomenal. Phenomenal. What a lad. But no, we'd love to. How are you sleeping? Because it's the hot weather and the light. I think you want to abort that conversation. Oh, no.

Don't tell me they're still doing really well. Well, nothing. Ren is just peaked at 14 hours last night. Stop it. And he's not still having an hour. up doing the daisy. Let me tell you, I was actually petrified. I thought, I'm going to fucking sleep next to the cock because I'm scared. I'm scared something that's going on in there.

40 now, but I think it's the white noise of the fans. I'm saying to Rosie this morning. I've put fans in their rooms. Yeah. So they're all literally zonked, I think, with the sun anyway and being outside. Being in and out of the pool, obviously we've got the trampoline and they've had their cousins over. We've got a little bouncy castle. And I generally think they're just so exhausted. Put a bit of white noise on.

They're out. They are snoozing. cruising, they're sleeping through, they're in a jolly time. Me on the other hand. I know. No. I know. I said to Stefan last night, we've got fans in both the kids' rooms. I think that's part of the problem though. Like the white noise, when they go off to sleep, that's really nice and like the white noise helps. But I think it's really hard to control the temperature right throughout the night because I think that sometimes by the morning they get a bit chilly. Yeah. But me and Stefan laid in bed last night and I was like, those bastards, don't know.

So know how good they are. We've got two fans in this house. They've got one each and we are sweating our bollocks off in here, waking up at like 5am at the crack of dawn because it's so light. And then Sadie comes in our room and it's just like, yeah, we've not been getting a lot of sleep, to be honest. It's like when you go on holiday, no one sleeps. No one's sleep. I run the risk of if I open a window, I will wake up looking like I've been stung by a thousand wasps because my eyes cannot physically open because of the hay fever. So I'm either like, I sweat it out, which, you know, that seems like a great thing to do. Nothing like a good old sweat out in bed or I get bitten alive by pollen. So either way, I'm struggling. I'm struggling.

But no, everyone's sleeping great. Even Chris is sleeping great. You come down this morning. He was like, gosh, that was a really great sleep. I know. I fucking watched you for 12 hours. I just normally. Is he finally better? Is he finally out of the sick house? He's actually not. No, he's actually not. He's asked to go to the doctors because he's like sneezing. He's like blowing out blood. He's been, I shouldn't, I shouldn't laugh because he's been ill for like five weeks. What's up of him? Fucking, he's always ill, bless his art. I don't know.

I think it's sinus. I reckon it's hay fever and he just can't, you can't cope with it. But he was actually sneezing. What is it? Sneasing, blowing, blowing out blood of his nose. Loads. I know. Yeah.

So, but I think he's on the mend. Let's, let's cross everything. Honey's, the children aren't keeping me awake. Just my fourth child. He's keeping me awake. God love his heart. So yeah, pretty joyous. really for the school holidays. I'm having the time of my life. Oh my God, I was going to say to you

while I was knocked away. Sorry. It's very excited the fact I'd tell my knees. I can't, do you know what? I was saying to my friend the other day, my capacity for like being out in the sun and the heat and sunbathing has really gone down since having kids. I think it's because you have to spend all your time in the shade. Yeah. I think you're right. And then suddenly when you're in the sun, you're like, whoa. Yeah. I can't, I can't deal with it. While I was trying to hide away in a dark shady room yesterday, I watched The Crash on Netflix. Don't even get me fucking started. I've listened to podcasts. I've watched multiple episodes.

Oh, you're deep in? I'm balls deep in this. We should add some context if you haven't seen this, by the way. It's called The Crash on Netflix, watch it, but it's the story of a girl in America who's now in prison when she was 17 or 18. She crashed her car with two boys in it and she survived and they both died and one of the boys was her boyfriend. and she's now serving, I think, like 30 years in prison, isn't she?

15 years to life. 15 to life, but no chance of parole until 2037. So that's another 11 years. She drove her car 100 miles an hour into a building. There was absolutely zero attempt on the brakes. When she drove around the corner, she completely blacked out. No idea. Yet she handled every bend on the road at 100 miles an hour with no slipping off, no hesitation,

no jerk of the wheel. The only motion of the wheel what they think is the boys were trying to control the will. Listen, I could talk for fucking hours. Hours.

If you want a single-handed episode just on the crash, let me know and we'll bring it to you. Yeah, put aside an hour and a half of your time. Yes. But yeah, that's our week. Anywho, yeah, sorry, that's really all I've been up to

because I've just been hiding inside. Hiding inside watching Mackenzie Shurilla. Yeah. I knew that was going to be, I had to mention it because I knew that was going to be a bit of you, though. I just knew it.

So you know, you know me too well, honey. I do. I do. So Emma and I really want to hear from you. Yes, we want you to join us in the Secret Mum Club. You're all welcome. You can share your secrets with us, respond to what we've been talking about,

or just say hello. Hello, you can find us on TikTok and Instagram. Just search for Secret MumPod, or you can email us, hello at secret mumpod.com. Welcome back, honies. We love a secret on the Secret Mum Club, and are you ready for this week's secret? I'm ready.

It goes very well with what's been happening. in this week. You know we are on the train of potty. I feel like there's many more secrets coming from this new potty life that we're experiencing. Or should I say no potty? Because we have put up a swimming pool, got a trampoline. We also invested in a little Wendy house for the garden. It was a great deal down at Costco and I thought, can't resist. Little house in the shade, keeping them nice and cool, great. Redley has decided the only place he would like to pee is in the pool. So he takes himself into the swimming pool

over the ladder in there, stands there, has a wee, gets out. And I mean, dance for a pee in the swimming pool. The other day he was running around the house. We were getting ready for bedtime. He said, oh no, pee-pee coming. Pee-p-coming, pee-p-p-cum-in. So he stood at the back door

like a dog. And I was like, no, no, we've got to go in the putty. And he was like, no putty for me. He says, no, no putty for me Or no nape for me I think it's really angry about it So I was like, right, okay then Open the back door, legged it to the swimming pool

Got in, had a wee, come back in And he was like, all finished Oh so it's not even like he happens to need a wee When he's in the pool He's actually going there over the toilet The pool has become the potty The toilet, got you Not just that

He is also doing a wild poo as you would like to call it. A wild poo. Look, we've all been there. We've all been caught short. I'll get you. Renly's not so much being caught short. He has decided that the new playhouse

is where he would like to deposit his poo. Oh, like Lucy Goosey. Lucy, Goosey straight in there. He goes into the house. He closes the windows of the house. He squats down, takes a poo and comes out, shuts the door and says, oh, finished.

But not just that. I put the potty in there the other day. He went in quickly, because he was obviously, poohs coming, so shut all the windows doors, then open the doors, launch the potty out, shut the door, come out, or finish. No party for me. For me.

Why is he taken against the potty? Because he was using it quite well, wasn't it? He was loving the potty life. But not just that, that no one realized that he'd taken a stealthy poo in the Wendy house, that the whole of my family were running around with human feces all over the garden. I'm talking me, Roxanne, all the children.

Roxanne's four children, my brother-in-law. There was poo on balls. There was a lot of poo before anybody realised. So there's probably poo particles going around the swimming pool as well as our son's urine. Oh, at least he hasn't taken to pooing in the pool yet, or has he? That is next. That's we got ourselves aflady. So, yeah, don't really know how to fucking come back from this.

And this is just because you've been, I guess, spending so much time outside because it's summer. I'm telling you, from 7 a.m. through till a good 5 to 7pm, we are in the garden. No one goes indoors. No one goes indoors. That's probably why. I bought myself a little barbecue from B&Q. So we're literally breakfast, lunch, dinner, in the garden. Everything's in the garden. Like, he's sleeping in the garden on the little sofa, you know, like the dining table.

He's like having his nap on the sofa and everything. Like we're fully, fully pledged in the garden life. Well, that's probably why. Like he's forgotten. He's like, what's a toilet? I haven't seen one for so long. So now I just don't know what we can do. But we did venture out to the shops the other day. And we were out for 35 minutes. Just pants. He had a little romper on. But we thought, I thought, oh, we're on the scooters. And we're going out for a little walk to the shops. So worst case scenario, I can just take his little pants off and just put the romper back on if there's not too much wee. But he is like fully holding the wee now. And the whole trip, he didn't go. No. Then he got back, stripped off, jumped in the pool, had a. we got out, wanted his romper back on. Yeah.

But do you know what? I don't think that's the worst thing because at least he knows he's still got the message of like he's holding it. He's not wetting himself. Like the fact that he's not even having accidents is amazing, I think. But it's just got a bit rogue now. Yeah. We've got a bit rogue on the toilet.

So we've got the pee-pee pool and the poo-poo house. Dotty even wrote on the little plaque because there's a little chalkboard plaque. She wrote Poo-Poo House. Toilet this way. It is the poo-poo house. Which I said to, because obviously I'm here today so I said to Roxanne or if everyone wants to go around, none of the children are like,

I don't think I'll go in that. Have you drained the pool yet, aren't it? Yeah. No. Okay. Don't think I fancy swimming in runners wee anymore. I don't actually think we in in the pool is too controversial. Like I totally would like we in a swimming pool. Oh, we in the bath?

Yeah. I'd we in a swimming pool or a paddling pool, would you? Hmm. I'm not getting out and getting dry just for a wee, but I draw the line up. Yeah, of course, because it's going to wash away. But, like, in a pool, like, I went on holiday once with all my friends, and there was like his big swim up bar. And I was like, right, the amount that people are getting out to go to the toilet is hardly anything. We're all drinking alcohol.

So we all probably need to go. I was like, 100% of you are pissing in this pool. I am. Have you seen that glory that changes colour when you wee? Yeah, but I've tested that in a lot of pools worldwide. and I think that's BS. What happens if there's going to be that one time? I hope someone's fucking recorded.

I'll just be like, ooh, Stefan. Yeah, just make sure you're we're really close to somebody. God has just been really warm here. Just blame it on the kiss. It's like when I fart now, I go, oh, Joseph. So yeah, that's where we're at at the moment. Oh, Christ. Pee and a lot of poo.

Everywhere. So the sun's out. So is all the wildness in my house. Sun's out, bum's out. Colby just said the other day, any chance I can just wee in the garden? No, no. I'd really like it if you could just go indoors for a wee. That would be really smashing.

Oh, but really, he's wheeing out here. He's two. When we were at our friend's house the other day, she said her four-year-old, only wee's in the garden. And since he's been doing it, she said her plants are doing really well. I tell me, urine is so great for your skin. This is why I'm in my own bath. It gets rid of varookas as well, your wee. I had a really bad varucca once, and I weed in the shower train just stood my foot in my own wee.

Veruca was gone in 48 hours. And jellyfish things? Yeah, I think that's a myth, though. Oh, is it? Yeah, I think so. Oh. I feel like my brother can give me a good story on that. I feel like he got stung by a jellyfish and then Amy said not to wear on him.

Could be wrong. Maybe I'll come back to you with the correct story of that. Maybe Richard would share that. Maybe she just didn't want to do it. Maybe she was like, I'm not willing. Yeah. To do a golden shell. Dirty bastard.

I don't know how you get your kinks. Piss all over me. But yeah, there we go. That's a new one for us, isn't it? To be fair, Colby used to do it when he was little, and he went for a phase. So maybe it's just a phase. Yeah, Joseph saves up his whee's for the bath now.

He thinks it's funny to like wee on all the bath toys. I'm like, great, what you're going to do? It's a four-year-old boy who's discovered he can wee out of his willie. I can't change it. Can't change it. You can't beat him, join him. Pretty much how he's set for life just weeing all over shit. So that's my secret.

and we'll get into some of yours after this short break. We've got three secrets from you this week. We're going to be discussing Sir Emma, taking away, honey. Okay, this says, hi, lovely ladies. I have a three-year-old little boy who I absolutely adore. I truly feel like I was meant to be a mother and I love every single day of it. I do struggle with guilt sometimes because I work full-time and only get a couple of hours with him during the week,

but I make the most of our time together, especially on weekends. My question is, how did you manage when you decided to have another child? I feel so ready to grow our family, but I can't help feeling guilty about how. having to share my love and attention. Right now, my son has all of me, and I worry about how that would change. Whenever I see a negative pregnancy test, I feel both sad and relieved. Sad because I want to give him a sibling, but relieved because I get to keep giving him all my love for a little longer.

I know he would make a wonderful big brother and giving him a sibling is something I really want, but the guilt is holding me back. How did you navigate those feelings? Lots of love, a confused mum. Oh, that's a really tough one, isn't it? It is really hard. I think it's really common to hear people say, like, oh my God, I could never, people with one child, I could never imagine loving another baby as much as I love this one,

because that's like the only one you've ever known. Yes. But I know that you and I will both say, your heart just grows bigger. Yeah. And it's really hard, and it's that awful, that awful, like, oh, it sounds so patronising or condescending, doesn't it? Like, you do find a way. You do find a way.

And it amazes me, like, since, you know, when I went from Colby and then had Dottie, it amazes me, it amaze me, like, how much your heart can grow. like you just think gosh I didn't know I could love this one so much but then have another one and love that one so much and I feel like your heart just grows and this is what I always say is that it's really hard to say I'm never going to have any more children when you know your heart just will keep growing and growing and growing with the love for them and also not that your love changes but seeing your child with their sibling your heart then just gets it just keeps getting bigger and bigger, like every milestone that they reach or the first time that they meet each other

and then the interaction of your bigger child with the baby is makes your heart massively full. And I think they teach you, because they love their siblings so much, they then teach you, you know, how to disperse that love out. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And they, and they, and they, and they, you know, he doesn't know any different now. This is just his world. And yeah, there might be a bit of a rocky period at the start when you introduce a new baby or Obviously, there's all those feelings of guilt and sharing yourself and not having enough, you know, as much time to dedicate to them. But giving them a sibling, I think is like the best thing you can do. And I think like Joseph, even Joseph and Sadie now, like they have a bit of a fraught relationship sometimes.

Like he will fight with her and argue and say things like, oh, you know, she's ruining my toys or whatever. But ultimately, they love each other so much. And when you can see those moments where they're being really sweet together, It's just, there's just nothing better. I thought you were going to say Joseph said, she's ruining my life. He does say sometimes, I wanted a brother. I wanted a brother.

I didn't want a sister. And if I, he talks about having another baby and he's like, but he's also very misogynistic and sexist at the moment. I don't know where it's come from, but he just really doesn't rate girls at all. It's all about like, but he only plays with boys.

He only likes boys. He thinks girls are rubbish. So he says he doesn't like having a sister. But then when I see in these sweet moments where he's being nice to her, I'm like, oh, he does love her really. Yeah, it is hard. It'll be a great thing to do for your little boy, I think.

Like, because Colby and Dotty were the same age as Joseph and Sadie, again, like you, I got to see them have such a wonderful relationship. And Colby was utterly, utterly obsessed with Dotty. And the only way that I could maybe make rationalise the guilt in my head because I feel like we all feel the guilt. There isn't one, I'd like to meet one person that doesn't have an ounce of guilt in like trying to divide yourself between two children. But it's fun for them because they're like, oh, you change in my nappy now?

And I used to be like, oh, I've got to change the baby's nappy. Should I change your nappy? Or they can do the bottles and they do the feeds. And then when baby you can say to them when babies having a nap, we can have our playtime. And those little things all build up and then it all gets a really exciting journey for them. So I think having them there as your little buddy alongside, it makes them feel really grown up and really important. And I think there's so much special. in that. Obviously, there's, there's no problem with having one baby, you know. I know there's a lot of

people that say that they're one and done and that's, that's beautiful, isn't it? But if there is that element of wanting another child, I just say, again, let the pressure off. Because if you're trying for a baby and you're having the doubts in your head, it need good energy for the body, good energy, but it's, you find a way. And that's the only way I can say it. And that's really naff advice is you do find a way, don't you? to make it work. I mean, you have to. You're like, I've got these two kids now.

So, yeah, I've got to make it work. But it is like, it is, yeah, I mean, three, I can't imagine. And then once you go past three, honestly three is been the easiest transition. Do you know what? I refute that because I get so much on my social media, either like, pro having the third child or against having the third child. And I was reading the comments in one the other day. And I was like, the things that make me want another child are like, oh, my God, adding in the third was just the easiest transition. like it's such a great addition to the family, like never regret it.

And on this thread, loads of people are like, trust me, I'm a mum of three, stop at two, it's too much. It's like the work doubles like times five. They were like people that say it's like it's not double the workload are lying. It's even harder than that. And I was like, okay, I need more of this energy. I need people to talk me out of it. I think I've got such a big age gap, haven't I?

Yeah, I think so. Bigger two are so big and then really are so little. He's an absolute doddle, like an absolute dream. He is so easy. and the transition from my hardest transition was definitely from zero to one. And then zero to two was a little bit easy. But to go three, it's been the easiest one by far, by far. Yeah, it's interesting.

I think it just depends on the type of parent as well. Like I don't think I would cope particularly well with it. Because I kind of like order and I just, I don't know. I found the jump from one to two hard. So I think I'd find the jump from two to three hard. But I think it just depends on your family. On everybody. But we're sending you all the love and all the world.

And again, we always ask for your advice and send in your stories. And we can share it on. Yeah. Right. Let's have a secret number two. Okay, this says, hi, Sofen Emma. I'm not a mum yet, but it's my biggest dream in life to one day be a mama to as many beautiful babies as the universe gives me. You both inspire me so much and make me excited for motherhood one day.

I'm only 21 and my question actually needs advice from people who are already mums. My partner and I are moving abroad next month. We're 21 and 23 and we've been incredibly lucky to build our. own business and work for ourselves. It's given us the opportunity to move abroad and start an exciting new chapter in both our lives and our business. But I can't help feeling extremely guilty. I'm so close to my family and no one has ever really moved away from our hometown, let alone abroad. My mum, dad and grandparents are devastated. They're obviously happy for me, but they're also heartbroken and it makes me so upset knowing I'm leaving home. I'd love to know if you

think there's anything I can do to make this easier for them. I know this move is the right thing for us, but I hate feeling like I'm leaving my family behind and upsetting them. Even though this should be such an exciting time. Lots of love, Libby from Devon. Libby. Libby, first of all, what a bloody, amazing opportunity and how exciting that you've been successful enough to build a business that lets you move abroad with your partner.

So incredibly amazing. Amazing. You two, honestly. And it's really hard. Being, as I sit here now at 37, it's just like, just take the, are we 37? Yeah. Yeah, 38 soon. Not for much longer.

38 soon. I, it's really, really hard. And being a mum, and I can only speak from a mum's perspective, because that's the only way I can, you know, at 21, I didn't have these opportunities or, you know, nothing stumbled in my path for me to have to make such a big decision. But now being a mum and how I feel about the children, go and live your life.

You only get one fucking shot at this and go and do it. There's always the opportunity to move back. You can always come home. And it's really hard because as much as I will miss the children or whatever their dream may be in their life, I would hate for them to feel like I'm sad that they're not living their dreams. I feel like, and again, correct me if I'm wrong, and I know not everyone's going to feel the same. But I've always said to Chris, like, I don't want to put worry on them, stress or anything that's financially in our home, everything that's important. And we do have a lot of stuff going on at the moment. We discuss that when the children in bed because I don't feel like they need the necessary stress of.

anything going on in their life. And if they want to move away, am I going to feel sad? Yeah, of course I will. But I don't think I would want them to know that. I want them to know that I'm excited for them and I want them to go and live and that we're always here at the end of a call. We're at the end of a FaceTime or anything. I just want them to know that they're leaving and everything's still going to be here when they get back. Do you know what I mean? I think it's the hardest thing, but I think you've just got to do it. You just got to let them go. And I think it's like, it's similar when your children go to university. Like the thought of being, they call them empty nesters, don't they?

Like when I went, I was the last one to go. And Stefan, the same in his family as well. And I think our moms in particular found it really hard that they were just, that was it. After like, what, 20, 30 years of raising children, there was suddenly no one there. And just went home and the house was really quiet. And that is like heart wrenching to me as a mum now to be like, there will be a time when, like, when it's all chaotic and the house is like, loud. and crazy now. I think, I'll be sad in like 15 years time when they leave home and there's no one here. So, you know, make the most of it. But I think you can't hold your children back.

You've just got to let them go and have these experiences and what amazing time you're going to have. I would like more information about where abroad is because I think abroad to Spain and abroad to Australia are two completely different things. If you're closer and you're in Europe, for example, you can pop back, they can come and visit you. But I think being in, and a lot of Brits obviously do go to like New Zealand and Australia to live. My sister just come back from working on a cruise ship in Australia and my mum gets really emotional when we talk about her maybe just moving out there because like there are opportunities for her there and I think maybe that's where she wants to be but my mum's like the thought of her being on the other side of the world like permanently like now

she goes and works on cruise ships for a couple of months at a time but we know she's coming back. The thought of her maybe being there and you know setting up a life there and starting a family there I think that's really hard to deal with even though she's She's 39 now. I was like, you've got to go and live your life. But my mum and dad would still find that so difficult, I think. And I totally understand where the parents and the grandparents are coming from. But you just have to, you just have to go and do it.

Definitely not taking that away from anybody. I can't imagine for one second. And I can only speak based on now. I don't know how I'm going to feel in, you know, 20 years time. And, you know, I knew how hard it was for our parents when all of us left home. And it is really hard. And it does scare me because I do, like you, I sit there and I think, gosh, there's going to be no noise one day. should just enjoy it and let the dirty handprints on the wall and just live for that moment

because one day they're all going to be out doing what they want to do. And it is hard and I can only speak for right now and I just can't imagine living, you know, them living across the other side of the world. But I also don't, I don't ever want to hold them back. I don't want to hold them back. We've all, we're all doing this for the first time and I just don't know that I want them to not do something because of they didn't want to hurt me or upset me, you know? Yeah. As hard as that is, it's like it's just not the right thing to do, is it? You have to let them go and live their life. But yes.

And have these experiences. But I think that sounds so exciting. Share more with us, please. We want to know everything. All the gory details, Libby, where you're going? What part of the world are you going to move to? Yeah, what's the plan? How long are you going to be there?

Is it forever? Are you planning on coming back? I need to know more. Tell us more details. But we're sending you all our love and all the world. Right. Let's have our last secret. Okay.

Hi, girls. I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant with. my first. We're so excited to start our little family, but can we talk about pregnancy brain? Because it has officially taken me out. I went through the Mackey's drive-thru, paid, thanked the woman, then instead of driving forward to collect my food, I drive home. I only realised when I got into my driveway empty-handed. I was too embarrassed to make the journey back, so I settled for a chippy tea instead. Some say, some say, legend of the town. Some say my nuggets are still waiting for me to this day.

From Charlotte. Charlotte. Some say. Some say a legend. Oh. Yeah, she's become a legend. They're like, do you hear about that pregnant woman that drove off without her luggage? Some say they're still waiting for her to this day.

Oh, pregnancy brain is a real thing. It's real. And so is postpartum brain. And even mum brain. I think your mind is so full of stuff that you just can't, like it doesn't perform in the way it used to for sure. And sometimes I sit there and I'm like, what's that, you know, Ujee flip, you know, the thing, yeah, what do we put through your hair? What is that?

Dottis like a hairbrush? Yes, get me that. Fucking, it drives me absolutely insane. If I Google my symptoms though, honestly, it terrifies me. Don't do that. Oh, yeah, no, don't. It's a very normal thing, but fuck me, it's really hard to come to terms with. Yeah, yeah.

You've got a lot going on. You're growing a baby, okay, and just, you know, don't give yourself a hard time. There's nothing more disappointed. though. Stefan got a he Uber eats to McDonald's the other day, which is a big decision where we live now because it's things, you know, deliveroo doesn't come easy here. Okay, you have to

like, you have to pay loads, you have to wait ages for it and he was like, he'd had a really long day at work and he was like, I'm going to treat myself. And he's got his usual order, which is a large big mac meal, a diet Coke and then cheeseburger to follow. But all that turned up was the cheeseburger. They didn't get the memo about the large big mac meal. So he was like,

I've never been so disappointed in my life. He was like, I'm so tired, so hungry. You've been looking forward to this McDonald's that's travelled for like 45 minutes, probably paid about £300 to have it delivered. One lowly cheeseburger. Just sat there. Hello, delicious. Oh, gosh.

Oh, Charlotte. Pregnancy brain, mum brain. It is the funniest though, because you do funny shit and you just chuckle away at yourself. Like that, I would have found that absolutely. In the moment, I would have fucking cried. I would have gone home and I would have fucking cried. I would have driven back. I'd have been like, sorry.

Well, I could blame the baby. I would have driven back and got my nuggies, but she had a chippy tea. But also, if I was the Mackey's staff, I would have eaten them nugs right up. I would have found you and delivered them to you, two very different people in the world. What nuggets? Don't what you're talking about? I've never seen you before. Oh, Charlotte, we're sending you all the love in the whole entire world

and hoping your pregnancy is a lovely one for the remaining. Yes. And don't forget your nuggets again. Okay. That will make you really fucking sad when you're... about 35 weeks pregnant and you just went to nuggets. Okay. So thank you for sharing your secrets this week.

Everyone is welcome in the Secret Mum Club. If you'd like to share your secrets with us, you can. The email is hello at secret mumpod.com or with Secret MumPod on TikTok and Instagram. Do you have a peepee pool or a poo-poo house? Or have you seen Charlotte's Nuggets? Ever at them? Then let us know there really is nothing too outrageous. Keep an eye out for our Thursday episode.

And we'll see you next time on there. Secret Mom Club