Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Potty Mouth Era

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

There are a few potty-mouthed babies this week, as Soph shares Renley’s new favourite word and a listener reveals their toddler’s hilarious mispronunciation. Soph and Emma also discuss co-sleeping doubts, and hear from a listener whose sister may have crossed the line by stealing her baby name. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. I am Safina. Good start. In case you forgot that, because I clearly forgot who I was. And I'm Emma. And this podcast is a safe space for mums everywhere. A safe space to share our secrets. Because we all have secrets, don't we?

We do. And as we know, sharing is caring. You don't have to tell us who you are. You can keep that to yourself. You can be anonymous. And all those secrets can be serious or silly. All secrets are welcome in the Secret Mum Club. It's amazing how much you can remember when you, Don't have to look.

I just don't think about it. Don't think about it. We're getting better. We do know it. It's season four. Season four, baby. Season four, welcome to season four. It's a new fucking year.

I'm 2026 and I'm here to rock shit. I'm not. I'm same same old me. New Year, same me. I was trying to my sister's friend the other day and he went, how's a new podcast? What? I said that's offensive. I'm sorry, where the fuck of you, but season fucking four.

It's not new. It's not new. No. Go back and listen. Someone did actually message me because I've not really been on my socials. I'm not a resolution gal. I don't set resolutions. But I am trying to do better on my socials because I have taken a little bit of a, I had a little cry.

I've taken a little bit of a time off. I've been a bit sporadic for the last couple of years. So I thought, do you know what, 2026? I'm going to really go ham on that shit. I've posted a lot. I'm sorry. It's a lot for the first seven days of the year. It's give the people what they want.

Yeah. Oh, someone did say, oh, that's nice for 2026 starting a podcast. You've got a lot of catching up to do. It's nice if you just try a content creation. No, I've actually been doing this thing it is. Oh, you've been doing content creation? How long have you been doing that? How's that going for you?

It's actually my full-time job. It's kept me going a really long time. Very lucky about it. I'm a family of five. Do you know what? I find it really strange saying a family of five. Do you? I'm like, oh, I'm a family of five.

Five. Five. I really struggle. Still I'm not used to it. Two years deep. And I grew up as a family of five. So I always should say, oh, we're a family of five. That feels more natural to me than saying a family of four.

Yeah. And we're two point four children. But you were a five. You grew up as a family of five. I mean, yeah. I don't look today because I've got potential blood on my trousers and Joseph's broken my glasses. I split coffee on my neck on the train. Oh, yeah.

It actually dribbled down my chin. And I thought, oh, great. I escaped my jumper, which is, I didn't want coffee stained on it because it's very spash got in here looked in the mirror it's on your white t-shirt I dribbled it down my that's gonna be a nightmare to get out of the collar as well certainly from Primark I say it's only from Primark it was only two pounds but it's not the point

but I will said it my mission to get this fucker out ace washing detergent that'll get that I need some of that for the kids clothes because they're honestly so holy grail only thing I would say is don't put it in anything that's slightly off white because it will bleach it yeah I bleached my grey towels did you I try to bleach you got nice white towels

And then I bleached the great ones. They're now like yellow at rank, isn't it? I just give them all to my mum. I saw a great... You drive your towels to your mum to watch. No, when I see her, I saw a great Instagram thing the other day and it was like, here's how I get stains out of my children's clothes. And it was like a really long-winded thing.

And then this woman got to the end and she went, and then I'll give them to my mum. And I was like, that's what I do. When they get like... It's a really long way for you to go, though. No, just when I see her, I save them all up. Or when she comes to visit me, I say, bring your percarbonate of soda because she makes all a natural own cleaning products now because she's going clean. Oh, go on mum. Yeah, she uses like Is that a 2026 thing? Is that a resolution? She's been doing it for a while. Sorry. She's

following Nancy Birkwistle. You know Nancy Bertwistle? No, but that's a phenomenal name. Queen of clean. She used to be on, she was a contestant on Bake Off, but now she's branched out into like cleaning products. Is the name of her cleaning stuff, branch, bruntch, what was it? Branch whistle. Yeah, her name's Burntwistle, but her stuff's called Branch Whistle. Oh, I would love her brand to be called Burrush. If I got married and my surname was Burtwistle, I would not change it. No. I think I actually might change my name to Burtwistle.

Or double barrel it. So you're called like Burtwistle Rider. Buntz Buntz Burtwistle Buntz. Bertwistle Buntz. Imagine your name was Saphina Burtwistle Buntz. Whoa! That is definitely giving. Emma Burtwistle.

Imagine saying to people, it's Mrs. Burtwistle. Oh. You would, no one up the school would question you, would they? No. No. No. No. It does sound like she should have her own cleaning range.

Yeah. range but I don't think she has not like a Hinch but Mrs Hinch I should say she's had a new drop hasn't she recently did I see that or did I make it up I think she has in B&M yeah I could be completely wrong with that but I'm pretty sure she did it was on my socials anyway give that to my mum and she'll get it out oh go on Nick well maybe I'll drive them on a bit closer to your mum yeah I'm like that's how much effort I'm willing to get stays out of my clothes I'd rather drive to my mum's house put me in a parcel and post them yeah yeah I will like an online drying cleaning service she loves it when I turn out with my lawn and

bin and I go, while I'm here, do you want to clean this? I've had it since July last year. Yeah. And my dad goes, you can, but I only put the washing machine on at night because it got solar panels. God forbid. He'll be like, who put the tumble dryer on during the day? They really are going green your parents, aren't they? They're very good. They've got an electric vehicles, well. We're electric. We've got electric cars. We're about to get one. And we got a heat source pump house. Have you? We've got no gas. That's really good. Yeah. Yeah. So we're very much doing our bit for the plan. Yeah. I think I need to do the house. bit because my bills are crazy.

Moving into a bigger house in winter really puts the willies up you. Because I've had a bill already and it's a lot. I feel like this is the most it can be. Yeah, Stefan was like this is worst case scenario. Yeah, yeah. British gas billed us for the two weeks that we moved in before we switched provider. And holy cow, I was like, if that's two weeks of gas only, you're fucked.

I'm fucked. You are fucked. Yeah, I'm going to have to get another job. Maybe move house. Downsized. Again. going back to London. It was actually cheaper. And then we had to get the boiler man out the other day because we thought the boiler was

breaking on a day when it was like minus six. Oh shit you not. We've had some complications in the road. They're doing something in the main road that our house is off of because we're in a cul-de-sac that the house is off of. And we just keep having power cuts. And it keeps cutting out. We had one on Christmas Eve.

No. We also had one the other Friday night. Mid-dinner, 10 past seven, all electricity went out. mid-cooking the children's dinner. I don't have candles because I'm petrified of candles in the house that obviously there's nothing if they're not lit but I don't have them because I'm like if I light one, the urge to light one.

I get scared that they're just for some crazy reason just going to take the candle, put it on the carpet and boom, we're out of it. I have really bad thoughts about that. So I just think don't buy the candles. It's okay. So we had no light. I had my phone. That lasted for about 35 minutes before.

I needed to charge it. It was out for that long? We were out for four and a half hours. I feel this happens to you quite a lot. We hadn't, because there's maintenance going on in a road. They're doing stuff in the road. It's not a heat pump issue. No, it's nothing to do with our house because the whole street's out.

Our whole coldestack is out because we run off of the main street. So it's just, it's been a little bit of a crazy journey. But we have had British gas out this week. Ironic, we have no gas in our house, but British gas are sorting there. They've been out this week. so we should be all sorted by the ninth, which is in two days. We're going to be sorted.

Do the kids love it? Because my kids find it really exciting. No, absolutely petrified they were. I had to then go out and get a takeaway, order a takeaway before my phone died, to then go out and collect it, to bring it back,

eat in the dark, because both phones were dead. I think it's quite exciting. I used to love it when I was a kid. And then we couldn't bath them. Oh, that is annoying. We all just huddled in bed with no heating. Renly didn't know whether he was at.

having a shit or haircut. Colby was freaking out and saying, imagine someone just runs in on the hallway and then he was like, I think I can hear someone coming. I was like, right now you're actually fucking scaring me. Stop it. Stop it. I was saying to my kids last time we had one. Obviously, I had my phone torch on. I was home alone with them and it was bedtime. Absolutely nightmare. This is in our old house. I remember this. I was like, you know, you're lucky that we've got a phone torch because I was going back in the day. Back in my own day. We used to have, I made it sound like a Victorian orphan. I was like, we used to have gas lamps when we had a power And they're like, what, Mom?

Like, I keep saying about phones because we were at, oh, I went to get Joseph's haircut the other day. And the woman, the hairdresser took a call on the landline. So it was like a phone with buttons on it. And Joseph went, why is she talking into the remote control? And I was like, yeah, they've never seen a phone like that before. They think it just looks like an iPhone. Yeah.

And I know when I say things like, we have all like when the internet goes down, they're like, what do you mean, mummy? Like, we can't get a film. And I'm like, kids, listen. You don't know how easy. You don't know how easy. They weren't even films on all the time. No. They're like, what?

Also, the dial-up tone for the internet. I used to say to Colby, I said to Colby, we used to have to sit and wait for the dial-up. And if someone picked up the phone, it would throw you off your mid-game. Or someone would be like, get off, I need to use the phone. And he goes to me and now, I couldn't do that. No, they didn't. We had no choice. They don't believe it.

No. It's funny you should say about the candles because Stefan loves to just light a candle for the ambiance. And when the boiler man came the other day, he was like, I've got really high carbon monoxide reading outside. We better switch off your gas at the mains. But it was just like a, a random Monday at home and he was like, you might want to blow out that candle. Stefan was just working. Like, he listens to his jazz, has a candle lit.

I was like, there's loads of CO2 coming out there. Blow the bloody candle out. He just likes to light a candle in the middle of the day. Just to, you know, set the tone for his... It's worth it. I would be too scared that the children are going to grab the candle and run with it. Tip it on the curtains or something, yeah. Yeah.

I know. Petrifice me. I was too little for that. But he loves a curtain. Not a curtain. He loves a candle. Candle. Not on the curtain.

Don't put the curtain in the can. Don't mix the two. No. Very dangerous. Never the twain shall meet. No. How's been your back to school? Oh, has been your back to school then, my love?

I know you're in the country, but you're not West Country, honey. You're in Wales. Loz of Bristol people get on my train, though, so I feel like it's going into my brain. I really love the Bristolian accent. Yeah. I think you sound a bit Bristolian. I am a bit Bristolian. It's the family isn't it?

Countryside. It's been okay. Yes. I actually really struggled with this one, and I don't know whether we talked about in the other episode. I'm not going to let it go because it's a fucking huge year for me this year. I've spoken about it on my socials. I'm heartbroken. I'm having a double-digit child this year. I'm having a 10-year-old. It makes it sound like you're getting another one. Yeah, no, sorry. Sorry. He's turning 10. He's turning 10. He's turning 10. I'm going to be applying for his secondary

school. Dotsie's going to junior school. Ren's going to preschool and he's turning fucking two. What this is a really big, this is. And you're getting married? Probably. Maybe. We're not getting married. I'm becoming a beltwistle. I was a little bit emotional. And I think because we had minus the sickness such a wonderful Christmas, it just felt like this one was really fucking hard to send them back. I cried a lot. Of course, yeah.

But I was saying this to Maddie this morning when she come in, Colby was really, really poorly over Christmas, so much so that we did have to get some medical advice and help for him, doctors, hospital and so forth. and I actually experienced my first ever panic attack with Colby and it was the most terrifying and you know what? I felt like I was in a movie that I just dropped out of my own body and I was watching myself through him

because what he was going through, I had this really weird experience of like I was watching myself. Like an out-of-body experience? Yeah. And I had like a moment of like how did I need someone to treat me in that moment when I was that little. But it was actually really, really terrifying. And that was just before Christmas.

But we have had a couple of minor miniature panic attacks, the small ones that he's able to come out of. But he's just got very, very anxious. And he's been quite a little bit of a warrior anyway. He's a little bit sensitive. And he is more of the softer one out of the three of them. And we had a couple of panic attacks. So I think I was a little bit on edge of him returning to school this time

and probably more so emotional than I normally am. And I don't know when it's coming because he's now doing a, Mama, I can't breathe. My chest is going tight. And I'm having to say to him, come on, you're okay. Don't think about the breathing. And it is everything that he says is exactly what I did when I was younger and I was somebody that has all my life struggled with panic attacks.

So I was a little bit worried on his first day and his first day back. He was like, Mom, oh my God. going to struggle to breathe at school and I'm like no it's just the worry it's just we've had lovely two weeks off it's just a return to school so I think I was a little bit more worried but he went back and you know what he had a really good first day back they both did Dotsie was basically like fuck you guys I'm out of here I'm sick of your faces she ran in without even saying goodbye and then cobs did a couple of cuddles and he went in a little bit teary eyes but no they've settled back in good really really quick yeah it just seems like when you're in it

It seems like the days are longer and you think, oh, what am I going to do? It's raining today or it's freezing today. Another day in. And then you'd be like, oh, we've got three days now until we're seeing Auntie and Uncle again. So we just need to play some games and do some slime and do all the crafty bits because it's freezing outside. And then when it's over and they go back, you're like, fuck, that went really quick. I know. Well, I've had my first experience of like a proper school holiday and then going back.

Like we never had that really before. And now I'm in this like school. term system. And actually, the mornings are so much harder when you've got to get them to school. One million percent. I've fully appreciated like just waking up and not having somewhere to be and being like, we need to get dressed. Like it's always a battle to get out the door on time. We're obviously always late everywhere. We're always rushing out the door. Like it's those mornings are stressful and not having that for two weeks. It's been bliss. And I think you you get so accompanied to that that life so quickly. Yeah. That actually when it does come back around,

So what are we now with three days of being back? It's literally like home alone. You know, when they're rushing to get to the airport, that's us every fucking morning. Every single morning we're rushing. It doesn't matter how much I prepare the night before, get the uniforms out, get everything ready to go. Dotty has, she got a little blusher for Christmas,

a moisturiser and a blusher that she got out of my advent calendar. Every day. Every day. She's like, sorry, guys, I need to do my makeup. And you're like, do you? And then she's like, Mom, I need you to sort out my eye. shadow. You can't see it. It's such a pale color. You can't see it anyway, but she's like, saw my eye shadow out. It's really bad. You're like, I don't have time to put makeup.

I don't have time to put makeup on myself. You look like a goddess. You're going out looking like a goddess. I look like a wrinkly old ball bag. But yet, let's. It explains why I leave the house looking like I do. Because I'm like, Joseph has become a professional at stalling. Like, bedtime, needing to leave the house, whatever he doesn't want to do. He is a pro. He'll be like, I need a poo now and I'm like well I can't get you in the car I've been going to shit yourself

so obviously we have to go and sit on the toilet take your shoes off it's just like can everyone just like I've been shit for three days but let's do your third one today yay

I always say behind every beautifully presented or do you know behind any child that's out of the house there's a mum behind either you know you've got your shit together but I'm in the

I'm the type B I've not got my shit to date of me I haven't still really spoken to anyone on the school playground because I'm like, I must look like a mad woman. The way that I turned up for school. It's wild, isn't it? I'm just like, no one, don't look at me.

It's wild. But no, I do love it though. I do love the, I love the, I love having them home, but I also really love the routine. Yeah. Because it got to the point where it got to like 12 o'clock most days and we'd be in our pajamas. I'd be in our pajamas. I'm like, we might as not sit out now.

You ain't putting no clothes on now. I'm not doing more washing. I'm not doing any more washing. You're staying in them now. Yeah. The past 12 o'clock is pretty much bedtime. So no, we're sitting in there. Yeah, this is it.

So I do like the up and get going. I do. I think it's good for them as well. Like I think Sadie is actually bored. Yeah. Of like being at home. Yeah. She's such an active social child.

Like I think we're actually considering putting her in nursery for an extra day. Oh, nice. She goes Monday, sorry, Tuesday Wednesday at the moment. And we're thinking of doing Tuesday Wednesday, Thursday. Nice. But a shorter day. So three days, but shorter days rather than two longer days. Because I just feel like she is.

And it's not a fun time to be at home because we're sorting out loads of stuff in the house. So unfortunately for them, we haven't really been able to do any fun things with them at the moment. Because when they're home, me and Stefan are like, oh, let's get this floor sorted out today. Or let's put these curtains up or let's do whatever. We're still settling in the house. So it's really boring for them because I'm like, I end up leaning on the telly a lot and being like, I just need you to be quiet for a couple of hours. And actually, I think she'd rather just be out playing with friends or an age.

Something I find is when the both of us are at home, I don't know if you're the same. I, one of us can then watch the children. Yeah. So then when we are both home and the children are there, I'm like, right, I'm going to get on with the cleaning now. Yeah. Because I can't leave Renner's downstairs in the zone in the bathroom's honking. Yeah. I need to go clean it.

So we end up then instead of doing something like going out as a family or doing something, obviously we do make the time to sit down. Yeah. I cease the opportunity because I'm like, I've got shitloads of washing and I need to put away. So if you're happy to sit down here. I know. I hate that thought that you're always thinking like even if I'm sitting down watching telly or having a nice time with them all playing. In the back of my mind, I'm always like, I've got to put those sheets on I've got a wash that needs to go on, haven't done the washing out for earlier, I need to start making dinner, what we're going to eat. Like, there's always something else. And I'm like, I really

want to be in the moment. But actually, I think it's really common for moms especially, there's so much other shit to do. I definitely am trying, over Christmas, I've just made a conscious effort to just not worry about that stuff. Because it's going to be there tomorrow. I know. Doesn't make any difference, doesn't it. But it is hard, though. Like, shit needs to get to four p.m. And Stefan goes, what we have for dinner? And I go, I don't know, what we're having for dinner. Have you thought about anything today? Have you put anything in the slow cooker? Have you thought about anything for dinner today?

You thought about anything this week? But yeah, we settled great back into school, back into the routine. We've gone back to football, which is exciting. But it's obviously a little bit too cold at the moment, so we can't all go and watch and play football. So we're a little bit on a rotor for the football. Reni's learnt a new skill,

yeating himself out of the cot. I keep talking about this, but I still can't get over it. So we're in the midst of transitioning. Did he get himself out? Emma, I've never seen anything like it in my whole entire life. How does he do it? Like an action man. He just puts his arm on the side of the cot.

Then he puts his leg up and then he just fucking rolls off. He doesn't even think to come round and lower himself down. I mean, why would he? It just falls. It's not even too. Yeah, he just literally leg up. And they just gets up and walks off. I don't know he thought he was going to come through the ceiling.

Is he in a sleeping bag? No, no. Don't like the sleeping bag. He loves his little duvet. So we are now onto a new milestone. We're going into a bed. That's quick. Brave for me.

Right for me. Well, Colby had his bed before he turned two, and he was great with his bed. He had a little, you know, the little teepee beds. Yeah, cute. That used to be on the floor. Colby had one of those, and he'd waddled off.

You'd be sat in the lounge, and because his bedroom was off of the lounge in the bungalow, he just used to walk to bed and put himself to bed. And then Dotty, again, I don't know whether, because we're in the bungalow and we were all low. They probably felt close to you. It wasn't as much of a big thing. Yeah, and I felt like they couldn't,

hurt themselves or fall down the stairs or anything like that. And if they wanted me, then they could walk to my bedroom. But what I'm paranoid about is him, if he needs me and he wants to walk to me, what if he thinks, oh, fuck it, I'll just eat myself over the baby gate. I left my Pringles down there earlier. Off I go. Yeah. Get myself some biscuits. I don't, I don't even know what to do. I'm a little bit beside myself. So we've got this side of the bed down, Chris has putting the cop side on today. Click and collect to the baby gate. So that's going to go on, on the door. Yeah.

On the bedroom door. I can't wait to see. Someone did send me a little picture actually of a hinge that goes on the door, but it goes on the outside. So if he tried to do the handle, but then that seems like a really great idea. But why do I feel like that's really cruel? I know. Someone said on a parent's WhatsApp that I'm on, do people lock their child's door once they

go into bed and they start going to sleep at night? And I was like, that seems a bit extreme, isn't it? Because all I think about, I do weird shit. I was cleaning the bathroom yesterday. And somebody had mentioned, but I don't have any plug holes in my house, any of the, sorry, the plugs that go into the sink, like into the plug hole. I don't have any. I take them all out. And the one for the bathroom goes into a drawer and you can't get, the children can't get that until bathroom.

Because I get scared that they'll, in the middle of the night, decide to fill up the bath or fill up a sink. And it really makes me panic. What, flood the house? Flood the house or if they decided to run a bath and get in the bath, if I'm asleep. It's just something that's always terrified me. Like I don't even know why. Nothing's ever happened directly to me, but I just worry. So I take those things out.

Like, I didn't want to really put the baby gates on the stairs because I thought if in a fire, I, what if we all can't get out like quick enough or anything like that? So I always overthink things. I know that. But all I'm thinking is if what if I lock their doors and then there's a- You can't open it? Fire and in a panic, I can't get them out. I'm stressed about the baby gate, let alone.

I know. But the lock seems like a really great. idea, but I don't know why in my head. I just kind that out of my head. It does seem weird to me as well. I don't know why I just don't like the idea of that. It feels a bit prisony. Yeah, it does. Obviously, I'm not got anything against it and I know people use it for a lot, use locks on the doors for a lot of reasons. And I've got, you know, I'm not judging anyone in any way, shape or form. I just don't know why I can't get. Obviously, there is people that use locks on the door for the safety

of their child. And I, you know, I've got nothing, nothing to say or nothing bad, you know. I don't know what I'm trying to say. I don't want anyone to take what I'm saying wrong. But I know people lock the bedroom doors for the safety of children. But I just don't know why I can't. Yeah. I don't know if I would do that. You can get extra tall baby gates apparently.

So if you can get extra tall baby gates. And do you know what? Annoyingly, I wish when I thought about it, like moving into the new house, that we'd requested the door handles be higher. Oh, you could have changed that. Yeah, because can he open the door? Yeah, opens all the doors. Yeah.

Yeah. I really likes to fuck shut up. We're on, when I tell you, I feel like the last two weeks, Renley has grown so much. He now, we're starting potty training. Are you? Yeah, I was going to go for a potty, but we've gone for a toilet stair. So that's now. So he's going to start using the toilet straight away. It's the highlight of the house is that now the children have got a toilet stair.

So they all like, look at me. I'm off to the toilet. And I'm like, you probably had one of them when you were little. You two a massive. No, they never. Oh, they didn't. Little potty's or little toilet. So they don't need it now, but they just like climbing.

Climbing like the stairway to heaven or stairway to a poo. So obviously he takes a wee on the on the toilet. Does he? Yeah, he's happy to take a wee. But poo, no. But he puts himself in the bathroom, shuts the door and he'll poo with his nappy on. And then he comes out and he's like, ah, pooh-poo. I'm like, have you had a poo?

And Chris will go, oh, just leave him. He's just gone for a poo. And you open the door and he's like this. Hold on to the sink and he's like, Oh, I can't let him just have that poo in there, guys. That's amazing, though, that he's already, like, making that association. It's so good. The other two go in.

Oh, I'm nowhere near with Sadie. They open the door because it's the toilet downstairs, so they're open the door. And they're like, can you, I can't be asked to work my bum, can you do it? So Renly just stands there like, ooh, poo poo. Yeah. Pooh. Yeah. And I think he's just associated, but that's where they go for a poo.

So now he just goes in there. Oh, it's so cute. Poos with his nappy on. Well, I'd say you're nearly there then. This is what I mean. He's showing signs for us. I thought, you know what? I'm just going to go with it.

Yeah. But there's so much has changed. A lot has changed. Yeah, it's mad how fast they grow. He's singing. The speech as well. And they're singing. Sadie started singing and let it go from Frozen.

It's amazing how much happens in two weeks. And I think it's being around other people as well. And like being around their cousins. Yeah. They're picking so much up. Yeah. He's singing row, row, row, row. You're saying, row, row, row.

We were at Poulton's Park the other day. He was going on the boat. We were on the boat. And he was going, row, row, row. was controlling the ride and don't forget to scream, he'd go, a-ha! The woman would be like, every time he'd come round. I think because she was interacting with him, he was like, oh, gosh, she fucking loves her.

I'll do it again. I have that problem at any time. I try and do some washing, say, he sees the laundry basket. She gets in it. She's like, row, row, row your boat? I'm like, no. No, no. It's not very, row your boat time.

It's washing time. I've actually really busy. But no, it's been a busy time. Busy time, lots changed. Busy Christmas and then we've had a busy week after Christmas. Yeah. I'm with you. Right there with you.

Growing humans. Terrify myself, obviously. Growing humans? Yeah, because I'm still growing. These three, aren't I? Not growing. You had an announcement? No, no, honey.

No. Emma and I really want to hear from you. Yeah, we want you to join us in the Secret Mum Club. You're all welcome. You can share your secrets with us, respond to what we've been talking about, or just say hello. You can find us on TikTok and Instagram. Just search for Secret Mumpod or you can email us,

hello at secretummpod.com. It's time for the... Correspondent corner I'd really like to look into Zofia's soul why we do that because she's like this on there take the headphones on Are you ready for this?

Yeah there's a picture I know I don't want to look I was trying to look into your eyes because I don't want to see it I want to hear it Are you ready? Yes It says hello ladies

Hello I wrote in a few weeks ago asking about perineal massage and colostrum collection Perineal massage Is on the Between the vagina and the bumhole

Thank you This was when Roxanne was here here, I think. Yes. And it says I wanted to send a little update. Let me introduce baby Leo. Oh my gosh. Have a look. Oh my gosh. Oh, Leo, that was for you honey. Welcome to the world, baby, boy. I feel like he's in the room. Leo is in the room. For our audio listeners, a very sweet, very red artwork has just fallen off the wall. That matches the stain on your trousers, doesn't it? Oh, that sounds really dodgy. Emma's got red stains on her trousers and I was like, oh my gosh, are you bleeding?

It's actually just ketchup from my sausage bat. I think I was to say that matches like the placenta print of when. Maybe. Vic Hope did that, didn't she? Fuck me. Is there someone in here spooking us? Cicenteprint. I haven't got blood on my trousers.

We thought I did earlier. And then we just realized it was ketchup from my sausage baguette that I had for breakfast. It's really peculiar that one fell down. How weird that dropped down. Okay, ready? Do you want it? It's off. It's coming in.

Oh, thank you. Oh, thanks, honey bun. Look at her. Get that placenta back on there. You go, Glenn Coco! What for you, Glencockel. He's absolutely scrumpsch, diddley umptious. He's got a stitch baby grow up.

Look at his cheekies. Oh, and so much hair. Oh my gosh, he's so adorable. Okay, you ready for the story? Yeah, sorry. I'm just going to look at him. He was born on the 3rd of December, weighing £8, 5 ounces. He's a good size.

By a C-section after five days of induction with no progression. Five days, bless you. And can I just ask, did anyone else really struggle with vaginal examinations? So painful. for. Yes. Yeah. We completely wrapped up in the newborn bubble at the moment, but I did want to ask something. I'm around nine days postpartum and all I seem to be doing is crying about absolutely everything. Did either of you feel like this? I'm pretty sure it's hormones and lack of sleep rather than postnatal depression. I cried at the heel prick test and next week he's having

his tongue tie sorted, which I think will be even worse. I love the pod and can't wait for you to help me through Matt leave. Kind regards, Jess. Jess, I haven't stopped crying for 10 years, really. I haven't stopped crying. Um, yeah, no, I feel like the tears are. I feel like the tears are. normal. Normal. And I think where we were in for so long after Renley, he had so many hill pricks. I tell you, we were maxing at 1.5 a day. I had to have loads, didn't you.

I cried at every single one. Tracy, obviously, you know, Trace. Trace used to have to take him because I just couldn't, I couldn't take him. Obviously, I stood in the room or I stood to the side of the room. But he's honestly broke my heart every single time. Colby's got to have some blood test, blood test done, like I said, because he's been so poor. but he's got some blood tests and he's getting himself worked up about her.

I don't know that I can do, I can go, Dotsie had them and it honestly ruined my life. It ruined my life. She was so incredibly brave and she had them a few, you know, last year a few months back. Everything was the other day. But it's horrible.

It's absolutely horrible. A hater. And then you've got to go through the injections. Yeah, the vaccinations. If you decide that that's what you would like to do with your baby, that's horrible. Yeah, it's all hard. It's all hard.

I think it changes. Because as someone who's like not a cryer, I think it changes your like DNA. Yeah. Like I cry at things way more now and think all things that are like baby related or child related or if they do anything or if they're like sad or if they're happy or if they say something funny or if they do something that makes you proud or if they're brave. Every single thing. But when Joseph was born like the period after he was born maybe for like two or three weeks,

I was like that. Yeah. I didn't have it with Sadie. Did you not? I spoke about it on the podcast and I was like, something wrong with me? Do I love this baby less? But I think I, I think it was just different hormones after having a second child. But with Joseph and with him being my first and never having like been a cryer before, I was like, what is going on with me?

Like I would cry everything. Like Stefan would make me dinner. I would cry. And he'd be like thinking that he's done something wrong. He'd be like, what's wrong if I like upset you? Yeah, that was same as Chris. I cried absolutely everything. Like something would come on TV.

I would cry. Anything. Like I literally, it was like waterworks. Like I couldn't stop it. I cried all three. And then I just not stop crying. Not cry all the time. Redley and Colby were playing the other day and I just burst into tears because I was like,

this is just so magical. This is so low. Colby was like, Mama, you're okay. Is everything okay? I'm just really love you man. Yeah,

they think there's something wrong with you because they're like they've, they don't understand happy tears. No. To them is that they've been like socialised to believe that it's like something sad. They'll be like, what's wrong with you? And you're like,

I'm just really happy. I'm just really happy. He's like, why are you crying then if you're really happy? It's like happy tears. Yeah, it's hormones. Happy tears or sad tears. It will settle down.

It will settle down. He is absolutely delicious. Massive congratulations to you. God bless you as well for holding out five days. I know. That's a really long time, isn't it? There was a lady I follow on social media. I think she went through nine days being in labour, obviously with checks of the baby.

And she did get in, she was going induction. And then I think after nine days she then went for a cesareem. but they're so, so long. So long, isn't it? Some people's inductions are so incredibly long. I know. I was really lucky, all three of mine, because I was induced with all three, just super fast.

If I had another baby, I'd try to avoid an induction, I think. Would you go for a cesareum with a third? I really love the idea of having, like, a natural birth. Like, my sister had such a good experience with her most recent baby. And I love the idea, like I follow a lot of counts on Instagram, of like natural birth in like hypno birthing, water births. And I think that can be such an amazing experience if you get it. And I always think like I'll always be a little bit sad that I missed out on that

because I don't think I'd do a V-back. I don't think if that had been my first baby. I mean, that was the way that I wanted it to go with Joseph. But I think now having had cesarians, I don't know if I'd want. Do we know, is it ever been proven that a V-back is harder? No, I think you can, like, you can do it. Okay. But I just personally, like, I don't think I would.

I don't think I would do it because you just don't know like if there obviously if there was a guarantee that you were going to have like an amazing smooth you know home birth in the water lovely but like there's no

there's just no guarantees but that's like when people say to you like the when you have in when you have children so obviously Colby's you hear horror stories it was my first one I didn't know what to expect

labour wasn't it's hard because I always struggle we're talking about like labour because everyone's experience is different and I believe the safest way to get the baby here is the most important. But Colby's was hard.

It was a really, it was a really hard time. Like I didn't know what I was doing, what to expect. It was, I just feel like it's something you can never be prepared for to know what's going to happen. Dotsie's absolute fucking dream.

It was, I couldn't have put it. Do you think that's because it was your second baby or just because it was a different experience? I don't know. I think if I'd had Sadie first, lovely small, dainty little girl with a small head, I think I probably would have got my natural birth.

But because I had Joseph first, who was a big baby. Just so happened that he pooed himself in there. So that became dangerous. So it's like all the things went against me. But I'd think if I'd had Sadie first, if I would have... But then people say, don't you? The more children you have, the easier it gets. Yeah.

When in fact, Roxanne had two really hard labours with her first two. Embers was a dream, her third, absolute dream. And then Everleys was awful. And Everley was actually a really, really unwell baby. So I had an awful one to start, which I feel like. likes expected. I don't know if I'm wrong for saying that though. The more people that I speak to about their birth stories, I feel like people's first births are always hard, never what they hoped they would be. And I feel like a lot of people are robbed of the birth experience they want because

you're going into it totally blind and you don't know. You're going to listen to doctors and midwives because you don't know what to expect. Like with my sister, they were trying to induce her all the time, all the time because she was a mum over 40. And she was like, I don't want to be. I don't want to be. And she held out until she was over her due day and she had a lovely natural birth at home. Whereas I feel like if that was your first baby and you didn't stick to your guns, you'd be like, oh, well, I'm getting scared now,

I'm going to get induced. And that's maybe not the best outcome for you and the baby. And I just feel like out of all my friends, like it's only anecdotal, but no one's really had a positive first birth experience. And I feel that's because you're just so scared and an experience that you're like, oh, I'll just do whatever. It's just the unknown.

I think it was just the unknown for me. Yeah. And then Dotty's was an absolute dream, like walk in the park. It was a doddle. And then Renner's was horrific. Yeah. It wasn't getting easy. You just never know.

You just never know. No, you never know. Anyway, we digress. We did digress. Congratulations, Jess. He's wonderful. And good luck with the tongue tie because that can be really, really sad. Yeah.

But amazing that they've got it sorted early. Because that will make, I don't know whether you've had difficulty feeding or whatever, but that will make a big difference. Yes. Congratulations. And thank you for getting back in contact. We love a return, don't we? Yeah.

And he's so beautiful. So you can get in touch with us on anything at all. Yeah, it can be serious or silly, and you can be totally anonymous. Because between us, we've probably heard it all before. And remember, we're all in this together. And we know that we are. We're all stars and we see that. I shall not we're getting worse at that.

What? What are they singing? We went in high. I could reach that. I'll get fucking high whenever. If you're happy to get high with me. I was in a shop the other day and that song was playing and Colby was like, Mum, because I got high.

It's your song. No, we're all in this together. He's like, Mum, it's your song. I was like, bless you. It's not actually mine, but you know. I'll take it. Right, here's my secret of the week. Being on that we're on the renner's train,

I feel like you know what's coming. I feel like you're prepared, locked, loaded, ready for what is coming. He's grown loads, he's talking loads, he's singing. We're going to start potty training. He's going into a bed. He's basically going to get his own mortgage, free kids, dog, wife, and a job in accountancy, you know. I feel like he's really rep in.

Really coming on. Something that's taken over the whole house is the fact that Redley says, or fuck off. Fuck or fuck off. He doesn't. To the point now that he actually says it in perfect context,

which I actually find hilarious. I'm not going to bothers. I know people don't like it, but it doesn't really bother me. But it's now the fact that he, Colby will come in and go, Mom, he told you to fuck off. And then Dotsky's like,

who said fuck off? And you'll know when you were sat there like, Fuck, everyone. No, no, we're not doing that. It's like contagious. The more they say it, the more they say it. It actually started when we were at Poulton's Park. On the 28th December in an empty park,

Redley decided to take it upon himself that every single ride he went on, he shouted fuck. Fuck! Fuck! But you also, if I say to him now, come on, we need to go. And he's like, fuck off. Oh, he knows what it means. Yeah, yeah.

Well, I don't think he knows what he means, but he's using it in the correct. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, where's you heard that? Swear free household. But I didn't think this day was going to come. We had shit and I thought shit's not too bad.

I feel like fuck's bad though. Do you think it'll be c*** next? No, I do not say that one and the children. I do love that one, but I don't say it around the children. That's a big one. No, that's that one. I know like to play with fire, but that's serious, Shelley. Really, because I don't have no candles on me else.

But, you know. Metaphorically speaking. Yes, metaphorically. But you know when you're like, oh gosh, when do I, how do I tell him to stop? I don't think you can because he's not going to understand. But we were on the boats. If he wasn't singing row, row, row your boat, we're going up and fuck. What does he think that means though?

Is he like, yeah, is he having a good time? Yeah, I think so. Like, fuck, this is so cool. The boat's like, mm-hmm. And he was like, well, looking at me and I was like, yeah. The whole 80 people that were at Poles Park. At least there weren't many people there. There was no one.

Honestly, I can't go over that But yeah, now it's become a thing in the house that he says fuck So now the other two are like It sets everyone else off Can you believe he said fuck? And you're like, just sit there like Oh god

It's just to end If you can't bait them, join them Fuck them all! It's a real fucking hoot. Do Colby and Dottie say it like ever? Or are they using Reni's an excuse to say something They're using Reni as an excuse No, they know it's naughty

And they'll say out like they'll say out of well i don't know why i snorted then if we walk past someone dotty will go did you hear did you hear that man just sworn i was like yeah but he's a grown up he's allowed to sweat and she went not in my presence of him well they they can't okay princess dotter or she she'll say can you believe that man said she said the other day do can you believe he said the p word what's the p word what's the p word i said what's the p word i went what pissed and she went no the other p word prick i was going through all the p word And she was like, no, poop.

Like, okay, poop isn't swearing. That's fine. And she was just like, I know, but you didn't know what I was talking. Yeah, okay. I'm at the point where sometimes where Dotty talks so much, I actually tune out. And then I hear something and I'm like, sorry, what did you? What did you say? Like bedtime, I have to walk out the door with her shut on the door.

Oh, my God. I can shut the door in her bedroom and she's still waffling away. So no, they just use runners as soon. Have you seen the reel on Instagram of the mum closing the car door in the child's face? Because she's like, put them in the car seat and they're like, blah blah blah blah blah. But it gets a point where you're like, mate, I've got to shut the door. I don't want to cut you off, but shut up. She has so much to say.

The other night I left her room, right? And we were sat there and she was in the bed and I was really tired. And she was like, oh, mum, do you know, if I look at my telly like this, I can see my wardrobe. And I went, like, why she's just looking at the telly, the wardrobe's behind. I went, yeah. And she went, also, I can see my chair, which is next to her here. And I was like, oh, yeah. Okay, go to sleep.

She was like, wait, I'm not finished. I can see berries. I can see my jelly cat. I can see my dog jelly cat. Started naming her 40,000 jelly cat. Okay, why don't you play this game by yourself while I leave the room? I stood at the door like. Why is it bedtime as well?

Like Joseph will come out of school and I'll be like, what do you do today? Who'd you play with? What'd you have for dinner? Didn't eat? No one. Can't remember. Didn't eat anything. Bedtime.

Can't shut him up. I'm like, do you have to do this now? It's like, last night it was 9 o'clock. I was like, this is my bedtime. and I had my dinner yet. I had a jacket potato waiting downstairs. I was like, hmm, okay.

And I'm like, I don't want to... You don't want to rush them, do you? I know, I love it when he opens up. But I'm also thinking, I need to go. I don't have my jacket potato. I need to go to bed. I'm really tired. Yeah, while it's still hot.

Luckily, they retain heat like the fucking sun. So it was still hot when I ate it. But also I'm thinking you're going to be tired if you don't go to sleep now because he has to be out for school now in the morning. So I'm like, if you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, that's too late. And I'm saying to him, it's getting really late now. I've been in there since eight. I'm like, it's getting really late now.

His bedtime's to become a nightmare. I'm like, prisoner in his bedroom. And he'll be like, so, mommy, today. And he'll start telling me about all his friends and the names of people in his class. And I'm like, I literally, I get to a point where I go, stop talking now. No talking. And I like put my, he leaves his eyes open. I put my hand over his case.

I go, close your eyes and stop talking now. And we have the Yota one and he's talking as well. And I go, just listen to the Yoto. Stop talking. Yeah. And I'm like, you're missing the story. He does I can't hear it. I'm like, stop talking.

It's like when I peer out of my eye to see if they're still awake and they're like this. Yeah. Go shut your eyes. I keep going to it. And I'm like, no, I'm not creating a relaxing environment because I'm going, close your eyes. Close your eyes. Stop talking. Because I'm getting really exasperated.

I'm like, stop it. Just stop it now. Just going to sleep. Oh my God. And he's like, Mom, I'm just like getting really stressed because you're not creating a relaxing environment. But honestly, it's wild, isn't it? It's so wild. So no, they just use the excuse that Wren said it.

But they're now going to say it. So we're a fucking household. We're a fuck household. We like to use fuck. Use the word fuck. You know when you sit there and you're like, literally I don't think I have the energy to correct this. Why fight it?

But it's when we're at Poulton's Park, and he was like, shh, really you're not allowed to say that. That's a really bad word. Don't say fuck, no. Don't repeat it while we're out of the house. Like it's fine. But she's trying to stop him from saying fuck. And then where she's laughing and they're laughing at him,

He then thinks, oh, they're finding me really funny, so I do it again. So I'm going to keep saying it. It's hard when you've got older children that are like, find it hilarious. Colby near on wets himself when Renly swears. Because they'll do anything to get a reaction. Yeah. So she's just going to keep doing it. Yeah.

I mean. So there we go. We are lots of milestones. He's gone to a bed. He's swearing, potty mouth. And we're going to potty train. Yeah. And school.

So that's my secret. Yeah, he's going to school as well. I forgot about that. You better stop him. I'm laying up before he goes to school. Well, no, fuck it. I don't know where he gets it from. He's not surrounded by anyone that says fuck.

But you go, there's my secret this week. And we're going to get into some of yours after this short break. We've got three secrets from you this week that we're going to be discussing. Take it away. My strife. Okay. This says, hi, both. I've been a listener since the very beginning, but this is my first time writing in.

Welcome. Four years ago, I was diagnosed with PCOS and told it would be unlikely I'd ever be able to carry my own children. But my partner and I were lucky enough to welcome our beautiful baby boy in April and we've never felt so grateful. Our little boy is now eight months old and we've been safely co-sleeping, which we absolutely love. I'm wondering if you or your listeners have any tips for navigating separation anxiety at bedtime and nap times. As a first time, mum, I sometimes feel judged when talking to friends about co-sleeping. But after listening to your musical beds episode where you talked about always being in different beds each night, I felt inspired to write in.

I love the pod. It makes me laugh and cry every week from anonymous. Isn't that lovely? That's really lovely. Because I remember feeling like that as well. I had a friend who was like, my children sleep through the night in their court 7 till 7 every night from the age of like three months. Yeah. And I was like, well, I'm still bringing Sadie into my bed every night. And you kind of makes you feel like you're not doing it right.

I feel like we're in such a world now where we can't celebrate somebody else's win. Like I'm all for if I'm not, if mine aren't sleeping or having a rough period, I still want to celebrate everybody else's win. And I think we just live in a world now where we can't. celebrate somebody else's win or or give someone some helpful advice. Rather than giving our helpful advice, we're just going, well, sorry, I don't know what to do. Mine sleep through the night and you're like, that doesn't really help me. But we obviously safely co-slept with Renner's. Renner's was our only baby that co-slept and we made that choice purely because he was the smallest baby, the last baby and also the other two were so big and at school and

they needed routine. So we just thought that was the best thing to do. We did try then doing nap times in his cot. So we tried to transition over into his or his next to me bed. And we did that to transition. So we tried to do nap times in there. But it is hard. It is hard. And I think you all agree to go from having them in our bed. I mean, Dottie is, you know, seven and she still gets in my bed. Yeah, they still like it. And there's. And there's. It's just something in my heart that thinks, do you know what? Just don't rush it. And there's something that wants to tell me, I'm somebody that has lived with PCOS since I was 19 and somebody that got told I'll never have children. And I went through the whole feelings and emotions that she's gone through. And then I was lucky enough to have Colby and then even more lucky to have three children and still be living with all of this. So I feel like this is my whole world. And I think sometimes there's so much rush to. put a baby into their beautiful nursery that you've created for them or to have them sleeping in their cot.

But when that moment happens, it's actually so painful on your heart that they're in their own bed and that then goes so quickly and moves on to you then having maybe sleepless nights because you're back and forth in the bed because of the urge of having them in the bed. And I kind of feel like Renley told us,

not told us speaking, but we knew when Renley was ready to move him over. And I think sometimes just don't rush it. How did you know that he was ready to go in his own cot? Well, one, he was rolling over. So we had him on a waterproof extended mattress. So he was a little bit higher than us.

He started to roll off. And also me and Chris were, a sound of us sleeping was waking him up. It wasn't now soothing him, which is why we then moved him into his own bed. Was he all right when you made the transition? Or did it take a little while? Again, I don't want to say that we were lucky that that happened. I did the things that I could. So he had a sheet in there that smelled of us.

I slept with his teddy and I rotated the teddy, slept with a muzzie. So I put everything in there that smell of us to help him. But he did settle because I felt like he was ready for that and we followed his lead. Yeah. But I just believe that sometimes we're in such a rush to get him into his own bed. Yeah.

That sometimes we just need to follow. their lead. Yeah. And I feel as well, sometimes when you've got a friend and you want to talk to them, sometimes I wanted somebody to just say to me, actually, don't worry about it. Yeah. Just as long as you're happy. Yeah.

It's okay. It doesn't matter what anybody else says. Yeah. And you're doing what works for you and it gets you the most sleep. Obviously, if you want to do it and you want to transition. Yeah. I was going to say maybe they want to start off the night, nap times for one. I would start with definitely nap times during the day.

And again, that's something that smells of you. So whether that's a muslin cloth or a teddy bear that you're saying. sleeping you can hold or sleep with in your bed so it smells of you, that really helps. And we started with putting him in the cot during the day so that we could monitor him because I was petrified. I was petrified of putting him into the bedroom because you feel like you've had all of this time with them and you're so close to your baby and then you're just going to put them into another room to sleep. And it wasn't just readily. I don't know with all three of them. It petrified me. But I would definitely start with the daytime. Yeah, start with the daytime nap.

I think you can get them used to it. It just will take time. Yeah. You need to be really consistent so the baby knows what to expect. Like if you're like a little cuddle now and then you go down in your cot, obviously they might stir straight away but you just have to keep being like put you down in your cot, put you down in your cot. Sadie, we've been really lucky with Sadie because she's always had to kind of fit into the routine.

Yeah. She will nap in the car, in the buggy. She'll go down in her cot. She'll go down in our bed. Like she doesn't stay in her cot all night, but she's really good at going down in her cup because we've always been like, this is where you at least start the night and then if she's stirring and not settling herself, then we'll bring her into bed. But yeah, you just, whatever you decide you want to do, like you want to start off the night

with just you and your partner in your bed and not the baby, you can get them used to going down in their own car. And I think things like you say will help. Something that smells like you, heat the mattress maybe, put a hot water bottle in there and take out. We also did transition him first when we started going to night time in the chico next to me bed. Yeah. And then we just got him out of our bed, but he was still in our room. In the room.

So we could get through it. I think as well, when you. you're transitioning over, I felt like doing lunch time, doing like a nap times in his cot was better because nighttime you really need your sleep. Yeah. You're so exhausted. Although sometimes those, those nap times are so frustrating because you think you spend the whole time picking them up, putting them down, trying to establish a new routine and you're getting more and more stressed going, well, the time for their nap's going to be over soon. So if they sleep too late, it's all going to, like, everything's going to be out of whack. So I have had some stressful nap times where I'm like,

well, I've spent this whole time doing this and you haven't actually had any sleep. Yeah. So you might have a couple of days like that, but I think they will get it. It will take time, but I think start with nap times if you can and then move over to bed bedtime. But if you're taken to it, if he's taken to it really well, then there's nothing to say, just go for the night time. If he has a really great nap during the day and he does that for five days or one day, you know, if he's taken to the cot really, really well, then go for it.

Give the evening and try. Plus you're going to put him down a lot earlier than what you would be going to bed anyway. Yeah. I think just follow your heart, follow your lead. We can all give you all the advice, but whatever you decide or whatever you do is perfect for you and your baby. And I think that's the most important thing. Yeah.

But enjoy it because once they do just love their cart, like Renner's, then they're like, no, I don't want you in my bed. I know. Renly basically tells me to go out of his room. Fuck off. Get out. I'm done. Put me Tony's on.

I'm done with you. Sadie's like the opposite of Joseph at the moment. He keeps me in his room for hours. She's so cute. I go, no, no, no. and put it down in the court and she goes, no-night. And just lets me walk out the room and leave her in the pitch dark. Yeah.

It's amazing. Ren does. Non-night, Mama. And then sometimes she does like a random outburst of talking before she goes to sleep. And I think, oh no, she's awake. But she's just getting everything out of her brain from the day. Maybe that's what Jojo's telling you. That she's just telling you through.

Blah, blah. Sometimes I put it down and she goes, Mommy, Jojo, Nanny, Grandad, la, la, la. And then she's like, right. I'm done now. After sleeping. I'm ready. Yeah. Oh, well, we'll be thinking of you.

Yeah, good luck. All the love. Good luck. Okay, let's have secret number two. Okay, hi, Sophie and Emma. I have a problem. Oh, my sister stole my baby name. Oh, no. I've always had a girl's name picked out since I was a little girl, Ivy Grace,

and my family have always known about it. I have two beautiful boys, Miles, who's five, and Charles, who's one. Oh, beautiful names. Another baby in April. This one slipped through the net, and I only found out we were having a girl, oh no, two days after my sister gave birth to my beautiful niece called Grace. As much as I love my niece, my heart is aching knowing I'll never be able to use the name I wanted. Am I being reasonable?

So did her sister know? She gave birth to a girl and then two days later they found out they were having a girl, but she did know that her sister was pregnant and could be having a girl. So I think it's a bit cheeky that she's taken the name, knowing that her sister could have a girl. Is Grace? I need to know though if Grace is a name. The middle name. Or are you going to use both names?

Well, no. I didn't know if Grace is a name that is a name that is a girl. family name as to why she would pick Grace. Just because she liked it? But that's what I mean. Is it that it's a family name or did she just pick it because she actually really loves it and she got the girl first before you had the girl and she's gone, do you know what, I'm taking it?

I think everyone's always known that you've liked that name and she knew you. It wasn't like you had your two boys and you were done. Yeah. She knew you were pregnant. With a girl. Didn't know she was having a girl until two days after she named her baby. But she could have either waited to find out whether she was having a girl. Or ask if she knew.

Yeah. But now it might be nice if she is Ivy Grace. And they both have... And she, if the other girl's Grace to start with, Ivy Grace might be a nice tie. And then she's got the same name as her cousin. Yeah, because if you're doing Ivy Grace and Grace is a middle name and she's going to be known as Ivy. Yes. You can still have Grace in there.

And it's not really treading on the other Grace's toes. But then obviously this is her girl after her two boys. So this is really a big deal. And everyone's always known about it. I'm just so pissed. I'm not going to lie to you, I'd be really fucking annoyed. Yeah. And it was so close to finding out. It's like, she named her baby two days before she found out she was having a girl.

I hope you said, what if your sister listens. You're a, right, you're a baby. No, I'm joking. What, you are, though. If your sister generally, generally knew, which I'm assuming she does. I wouldn't do that. Like, I couldn't take a name than I. No.

My sister loved Tallulah. Oh, that's cute. And I would never take Tallulah, but then I never called it my child. But were you always like, me. And me and my sister, because like we were pregnant with Sadie and Luca at the same time. We always knew we weren't on the same page with names, so it was fine. We were never going to cross over. Were you and Roxanne like that?

My sister had a baby name, but she had a friend that took that baby name. This is why I never tell anyone. Because she had the baby first. And then I, my name was, I always had my girl's name because my grandma Dorothy. So Roxanne knew mine and I knew hers. She didn't want to use Dorothy. No, no. Well, there you go.

Yeah. She never wanted Dorothy. I really wanted for a girl's first name, Nell, which is Stefan's niece's middle name. And I was like, kind of think we could still use it. And he was like, you can't. This is basically their situation. Yeah. Yes.

And I was like, you can't really. Because it's going to be her niece. So this is going to be their. Yeah. And they do still use like my niece's middle name sometimes. They call her the full thing. Like they would be like Ivy Grace, for example. And so they were like, it's too linked to her.

Like for us to have a girl. And if Grace might be double-barreled. That's what I mean. There's no hyphen, but are you planning on using both names? Yeah, maybe. If so, that's shady, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'd be pissed.

I'd be talking to her about it. I would stress my concern. It's too late. Well, she hasn't had a baby yet, has she? They can't change the first Grace's name, though. No. No, I don't think. 100% you're being reasonable.

Yeah. 100% you're reasonable about this. I'd be, I'd be, yeah. And still use your name if you want it because she knew you wanted it first. Yeah, but out of principle, I wouldn't use it, or would I? No, I'd use it to be like, I don't care if it's the same. I told you I like this name first. Yeah.

Go you, honey. We're back you either way. Anyway, we're on your side. Well, let us know in April, what you decide. Yeah. I'd love to know. God, we're going to cause an argument in the family. Right, should we have our last one?

Okay. Hi, ladies. I know how much you appreciate a toddler who accidentally swears. Oh, my gosh. The irony. I know. So I thought I'd brighten your day with my son, Leo. Just like to say, the irony is.

is it's not accidental. Mine isn't accidental. It's on purpose. We've got another Leo. Another Leo. Wow. Whose one true love is Miss Rachel, like Renley. Honestly, I'm just the third wheel in this relationship.

We really are. Is that how you feel? Yeah. Rachel is our parent. She's our third parent. She's everyone's mother. Yes. There are certain parts of her episodes involving fire engines,

except Leo doesn't call them fire engines. He very confidently calls them fire trucks, which, thanks to his tiny toddler accent, sounds impressively like something he definitely shouldn't be saying. My partner and I find it far too funny. So for now, we're absolutely not encouraging him to say fire engine. Parenting win, probably not. Comedy gold, absolutely. Just wanted to say thank you both for making my Tuesday and Thursday drives to work bearable from one very tired, very amused working toddler man. Love, Kells from Newcastle. Oh, Kelly's on video. Oh, stop it. Oh my God,

let's hear it. I'm up there with the fucks. I'm not going to lie. Oh, here we go. What is it? It's a what? Oh, stop it. It's a what? Oh, it's so clear. Never. Power fuck. Don't make him change.

I really, I'd start calling it a firefuck. I might do now. Firefuck. Firefuck. Oh, gosh, that is adorable. You can't correct him, can you? No, leave it. Leave it.

It's too cute. I love a swear word. With the Newcastle accent as well. Yes. That is absolutely adorable. isn't it? Also a sign that Americanisms are creeping in because we would call it a fire engine, but Miss Rachel's teaching everyone fire truck. Yeah, do you know what? I actually worried about that. We've actually gone off of, not gone off of it, but we've moved away. We're pepper

pig. Mad. When I tell you, we're pepper pig crazy. Everything is pepper pig. So we have moved away from Rachel. But I did worry, will our babies have an American accent? Yeah. And they'll definitely say American things. Because Dottie, when she watches too much American stuff, She's like, can I have something from the refrigerator? Yeah. Do you know what Joseph said the other day? Trash. Oh, Dot says trash.

Trash. Do you want me to take out the garbage bin? Yeah, he said trash can. I was like, do you mean the rubbish bin? Trash can. Garbage? Where's the garbage bag? What?

Yeah, honestly, it's Netflix and YouTube. I won't lie. I do love it. I love it. Do you? Do you? Yikes. Yays.

Yos! I love it when people are like there'll be a couple that's one's American and one's British, but they live in America and the British one. The accent's changing. And there's a couple that I've watched and they're now over in America. But he, they've been there for a few years now. But he's, he has twangs. Like he has twangs.

He's British. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I love it. I love it. I do love it. But yeah. I'm all for the swear words.

Keep them coming. Yeah. Keep them coming. We're a fuck household. Firefox. Firefox. So thank you for sharing your secrets this week. Everyone is welcome in the Secret Mum Club.

If you'd like to share your secrets with us, can. The email is hello at secret mumpod.com or with SecretMumPod on TikTok and Instagram. Do your little ones love a fire truck? Or have you had your baby name stolen? Then let us know, really. I do actually want to know that. I'd love to know that. I'd love to know that. I bet there are loads. I bet there is loads. And there really is nothing too outrageous. Keep an eye out for our Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club.