Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Roadside Delivery

Episode Date: September 18, 2025

The ladies receive some huge news this week as a listener announces the arrival of another Renley! Soph’s dream of being a chicken mum is supercharged after a letter featuring thirty homely hens. Plus, one mum shares her incredible birthing story… involving an actual Volvo! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club, I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursday's episode, where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. Can't do it. Got too much Botox in me forehead. Can you wink still? Yeah, well, I don't have Botox in my eyes.

My eyeballs. I do actually have it on my crows feet. Yeah, me too. Anywho, I'll squeeze your bits. All of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories. To keep you going through the weekend. Shall we jump in? Shall we?

Shall we? It's time for another Correspondence Corner Sorry, I've been taking it too far, haven't I? No, I felt like I was taking your moment then. You sounded really on tune. Did I? On tune?

Stefan always tells me I'm off key. Oh, fucking Stefan. We can't slag him off now because I actually really like him. I've met him in person. You've realised he's nice. He's really divine. I don't think I'll ever get over that, you know? What you actually thought he was mean?

Yeah. I thought it was going to be horrible. I thought he was going to be a dick. Did you? Yeah. Because the problem is, is you've been telling me bad shit. So I got angry for you as your friends.

Yeah. I got really defensive. Like, what a prick. But do you really think I'd go out with someone horrible? No, no. I did for a split second. But now I actually really like it. I did doubt you.

He's wonderful. Thank you. He's a divine man. Truly, actually, more than I ever expected it as well. All right. Back off. Sorry. I don't want your man.

I don't want your man. I don't want him. I burst the windows at your car. I don't know what that one came from. Actually, we sung that in the garden last night, funny story. No. We're excited with our next door neighbours. We've actually, fun fact, if you wanted to know,

fall in love with our next door neighbours. Never had so much fun. Truly, we're starting to lift up a panel between the two houses. Are you? Honestly, I feel like I've not given you this information. Maybe I should say this to the next week. Back the fuck up. I tried everything for them.

Well, you didn't like hang out. No, but they were elderly, bless them. You were the only family. We were the only family in the road. Well, there was another family in the road. but they, he was, he's an only child and he's older. So he didn't find the appeal. Can you say that?

Yeah. The appeal. Do you want to hang out with your rascals? Those arsoles. But no, we've actually settled into the new house and we absolutely adore our next one. Oh, that's so nice. And I literally love them all. The children, the parents, we're having the best time.

I honestly feel like we're on holiday. Oh, but forever. Every time they come home from school, they lift up the fence panel and we just have a good daily catch up for about an hour and a half. That is so wholesome. Last night we cut some cake. Oh. I won't lie to you. I'm actually really, I was like, God, I hope we never fall out.

Yeah. Because this could be awkward. No, it's seriously, though, nice to like your neighbours. Because neighbours can really make your life hell. Yes. So that's really, that's really great. Honestly, I love them. Instally feel like how will we not brought together sooner?

I wonder if that's going to happen when I move outside of London and actually have like a community of people. You're allowed to talk to people. Yeah. Because I'm a bit. They won't fan at you like they do on the tube. I'm a bit Londonified. I'm like, I don't want to say. speak to my neighbours. I don't want to be friends, but actually maybe I will. Imagine living next door

to me. Yeah, he wouldn't have a choice. They're like, hello. Hello. Where'd you been? And you're nice. I was launching out boxes out of the window the other day. And they were like, what is going on? I was like, oh, don't mind me, just building more IKEA flat pack up here. And we just serenaded each other. We were singing. She was out in the garden, singing with her brother. We were texting. You're texting. You've got each other's numbers. We've got each other's numbers. We're texting and I asked for the social calendar of the children because I need to know if they're home because these two just stand and there's two little holes in the fence they just take it in turns to look through the fence holes and they got kids at the same age are Colby and Doddy's age so they have

same as my sister they have four children and they range similar to my sister's ages okay they range from 15 down to eight a little bit older but yes um it's lovely I won't lie and Renner's loves them honestly honestly I'm living I can't say I'm absolutely gas can wait to go today Who would have thought? Sorry, we digress for the correspondence corner. I was actually trying to find my trailer thought then. I do apologise. We were on the correspondence corner and I just took over the show.

Emma's gagging to go. On with the episode, not leave the studio. That would be weird. Anywho, let's crack on. Okay, this one is from Demi in Cheltenham. It says, Hello, Beautiful Ladies. I was a listener before I became a mum, but once I fell pregnant in November last year,

I re-listened, so I could be pregnant alongside alongside. Oh, God, that's adorable. Thank you for being so real about birth. Emma, your C-section story helped me so much when my birth didn't go to plan and I needed one too. You made me feel less scared and honestly I'd 100% have one again. Oh my gosh, I'm an emotional wreck. And Safina, I just want to say what an amazing human you are.

I look up to you constantly and love following your journey both on the podcast and on TikTok. I have my baby boy on the 12th of July. Another little Renli has come into the world. Stop! Thank you for inspiring so many women. I hope to be as good a mum as you both are. Oh, Demi.

It's been an emotional day to say, Demi. Oh, that's too much. Demi, you've sent her over the edge. We've recorded a lot of episodes today. And if you've heard this episode and the last one. And the one before, you'll know. Tuesday, Thursday. We're a wreck.

It's too much. She's had a little Redis. I know he's a Renner's too. Yeah. He will be. Oh, gosh, Demi. Oh, gosh, Demi. Oh, Demi, congratulations, sweetheart.

Oh, and how wonderful that we're there's too much that's too much love it it's lovely to know that like because obviously we just sit here and like we're fucking mental just like we're mad we just like sit here and chat shit the worst people for advice

honestly just it's a riot here but people some things actually help people which is so lovely to know isn't it? It's really lovely seriously that's nice not that it's you know I was going to say makes it all worthwhile not that it's a hard thing to do

or it's a bad thing to do do you know what I mean but it just sometimes we're taught to each other and it's so lovely that people message in. I think it's like a social video. Like when I load a video onto my social media and when people write lovely things, it kind of, not that it doesn't mean anything

because it obviously absolutely does, but when you meet somebody in real life and they say, oh my gosh, I really love this, you help me through this. You then, I think the reality kicks in that you think, oh fuck actually people do watch my videos. And I think sometimes because you load them up and you can walk away and I don't always have the time

to sit and read the comments as much as I would really love to but I when you meet someone in real life and then they refer to a video or a time that it's helped them you think fuck oh actually somebody it's amazing somebody is watched so yeah when somebody says says something so wonderful yeah you know you think gosh I I love doing this but the fact that people actually yeah love to listen to us it's yeah it's incredible isn't it emma loves to listen to us the most I'd love to listen back to my own voice you do actually love to listen do you I do listen back to every episode yeah the Tuesday episode was delayed wasn't it last week

Yeah. And then I woke up and my wife, I know I hadn't recorded an episode, but I knew we didn't have one. I still went looking for it because on Thursday morning, I'm like, well, this is what I normally listen to. And I was like, where is it? Oh, yeah, we were. We didn't. We were a day behind after God. Oh, Demi.

Thank you, Demi. I hope your little Renner brings you as much joy as our little renters brings us. Oh, he's only two months old. He's going to be such a squish. And he's July, so close to my birthday. I'm taking it away from me. I'm not about me. It's not about us, but July is the best month to have a birthday.

Oh, I'm not going to lie. July is a phenomenal. phenomenal month to have a baby. Although you won't have our school holiday baby. That's perfect, I think. Just before the school holidays. You've got summer, you've got July, but it's before the school holidays. So people are still going to come to his party.

Yes. This is something, as much as I love a school holiday birthday, it is a little bit hard to try and... I don't think I've divulged our first party with you about Colby. Maybe I'll save that to next week. Oh, okay. Because we had our first party, didn't we, in the school holidays. Oh, you did?

And we mixed football group with school group. You did tell us because they went paintball in. Yes, I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We did talk about that. I forgot more. There's too many birthdays. But honestly, I hope you're doing well.

I hope little Renli is doing great. Is it weird to think there's another Renli? No. It's wonderful. Yeah, I do love it. I just love it. It brings people so much joy. And I think it's hard, isn't it?

Because, like, naming a baby is such a huge, huge deal. So when you fall in love with a name, because you can go through so many emotions with a name, like you knew someone that's had a child or you know somebody that's of that name it's a really difficult time and you've got to think of like when they are older as to what you are going to call them like colby i loved cole but i couldn't see myself having a cole baby so i liked colby to make it more child friendliness that when he's older if he wants to be colby he wants to be cole or he might want to go by his middle name or colbs or cobs yeah either either way and same as doty i thought you know if she gets older she wants you she can go by dorothy or her middle

name viola or dot or dot so yeah it's a big one to to try and think of and obviously i really really love the name ren but i just wanted to baby fire a little bit soren lee is it's a very beautiful name yeah and i do say so much congratulations demi and i hope you're doing wonderfully hope you're both doing wonderfully another one now it says hi soph and emma i just listened to the episode where the lady moving to whales wanted to get chickens and soph said she'd like to as well i would 100 percent recommend it. Did you say you want to chickens? I did say I wanted chickens, yes, because I eat a lot of eggs. But the only thing is I actually really, really love my neighbours and I'm worried that the chickens now will be annoying. They are loud. Yeah. Especially if you

have a cock rule. I have a cock. I am a cock. Last year, after months of begging, I finally convinced my husband to get six hens. Fast forward to now and we have 19 hens and three ducks. They all have names and I had. adore them. We've even put an honesty box outside our gate to sell the eggs. Oh, that's so wholesome, isn't it? And it's going so well. We're planning to round up to 30 hens. No. All of this with two dogs, a three-year-old Jack and a nine-week-old willow. It's chaos, but we love it. Ten-10 would recommend nothing beats fresh, free-range eggs for breakfast. Hazel in Ireland. Right, Hazel. We need the details, girlie. Right, are we living next door to anybody,

Hazel? That's what we need to know. Don't do, close your address because there's widows on the internet. But we need to know, are we having neighbours? Are we living on a farm? What is happening? What is the situation? Are they loud? Are they messy? Are they chewing up the grass?

What are we doing? Because I tell you what, nothing brings me more joy when I watch Lydia Millen on social media and she is rounding up her hands and her husband, he didn't want the hens and he loves them, loves them. Have you seen her? No. Oh, she was a fashion content creator, but she's moved on now to show us her gardening. And she is, oh, I'm hook-line and sinker.

She's selling it to me without even knowing what she's doing. I'm a hook-line-in-sinker, Lydia. I think you need land. You need land. Like, are you in rural island? Do you live on a farm? You can't just have 30 hens on like a suburban street. I don't think I can just live on a street in Southampton where there's 30 hens.

30 houses and 30 hens. I think people would be pissed with me, wouldn't they? It's a little bit built up. You know who I've been watching, Megan. Megan's new series on Netflix, Megamarkle. And it's so bloody wholesome It makes me sick But I love like

Hate watching it She'll be like I'm just going to go out And get some eggs from my hands And I'm like good for you But that is not the life for me Cleaning out all that shit I mean she probably doesn't have to do it

She's probably got a person It's literally Lydia Millen But it's every day It's not even a documentary It's her every day And she's like I'm just going to pop out to my garden And pick myself some

And her voice is oh It's captivating I could eat her up Honestly I could I mean I'm sure the eggs It's a guilty pleasure And she picks as her hydrangeers and she's got big bushes

and her little greenhouse and she goes out in these stunning wellies. Honestly, she's 10-10, highly recommend. But I'm living through you ladies. Yeah, because you're not going to do it, are you? Next door I've got rabbits and Dottie loves to clean them out. Oh, does she? Oh, God.

She's having the time of her life, honestly. And I just get home and I think, oh, thank goodness they've got rabbits because that is solidified for me that we do not need to add a rabbit. She's not only got that going up to third. dirty hens, but she's got two babies and dogs and two dogs. And a nine week old. A nine week old willow is, unbeknownst to her, she's about to be a chicken sister, hen sister. She's going to be down with them hens. Oh, can you imagine them with little wicker baskets going out

to collect the eggs? It's everything that I could dream of and so much more. No, it's my worst nightmare. You know you see people like living this like people that can embrace the chaos and their life looks so fun like yeah will i'll be trampling out with a little egg basket it's going to be adorable a little pepper pig wellies but it just absolutely puts the fear of god in there their little wicker baskets what they've got little straw hats in the summer to protect them from the sun no it's everything no it's given hazel not for me i think you're a absolutely hero for doing it every day i'd love to live next door to hazel and buy the eggs or a little bit further away if they're noisy yeah down the road maybe on the eggs farm a mile yeah

The next part. Hazel, honestly, and I love that she's 10, would recommend. Yeah. I'm loving you for that you're doing it. Yeah, it's good for you. The thought of adding a dog into my mix is like enough to send me over the edge. Yes. Christ.

So it's a big commitment. 30 hens. Wow. Hold on then. So I thought you had to impregnate the egg. I thought you needed a cock to inject the egg. It's how they have a cockerel has sex with a hen and then the hen has an egg. Yeah, so where's the cockerel?

cat. Oh, she might have she said 30 hens, yeah. So where's, how's the cock impregnating the eggs? Oh, that's you don't have to, do you? Because she's not raising chicks. She's not having them from babies. She's eating them. Oh, yeah, they just, the hens just have the eggs on their own.

That was a really, really stupid question. Should I take that? And that was the penny dropping. No, leave all that in. Can you hear the cogs? They're rusty bastards. And egg is a A hens period. But an egg is a hens period. I thought you said an egg is an experience.

It is in my mouth. Experience. Every day. Excellent. Right. Extraordinary. Exhausted. I am.

Hazel, tell us more. We need more. We need more facts. Where you live in, not your address, obviously. Need to know if you're rural neighbours. What's happening? What's the sitch? How did you start this?

Where did you get it from? Did you impregnate it with a cock to start with your first one. Hit us up with the details. Thank you, Hazel. You're talking about the chickens, yeah? Crumbs. Crimes. We're not that kind of podcast, my girl. Welcome back. Okay, one last message here. It says, hello, lovely Safina and Emma. Hello. Your podcast keeps me going every week while managing life with my two kiddos, August and Rosie. Oh, gosh. I love the name August. That was on our baby name. Hobbes. Yeah. Boy, boy. But I didn't want to call him and he'd be born in August.

Yeah. But if your August is born in August, it's totally phenomenal. Yeah. I just thought people would be like... Confused. Oh, did you just call him August? Because if someone's called April, you're born in April? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She says, I was listening to your episode about Dottie saying mums have babies out of their Volvo. And do I have a story for you? In June, I gave birth to my second bundle of Joy Rosie. But it wasn't any normal birth. This little madam couldn't wait and arrived on the way to hospital in the passenger seat of my Volvo. Yes! I've really wanted to meet somebody that's had a baby in the

Oh my gosh, in a Volvo. Oh my God, out of your Volvo in a Volvo. From one Volvo to another. Holy moly. What a story to tell Rosie you came out of the Volvo in the Volvo. From your Volvo in a Volvo. I officially delivered my own baby out of my Volvo. So I'd like to say Dotty was spot on in my case.

Keep being fantastic. Love Sophie from Germany. Of course she's in Germany. They all have Volvo's there. It makes total sense. That's why she said Safina first because we've got similar names. Big up the Sof's. Oh my gosh, she delivered her own baby. Wow.

In the passenger seat of a Volvo from her Volvo. That's incredible. Wow. I've really wanted to meet somebody that's done that. I'm slightly, silently, silent, silently. Obsess was watching the videos that people give birth in the passenger seat. In the car. I find it mind-blowing. Did it have to be a Volvo or any car? Any car? Any car. Any car.

any car. They just adds to it. Yeah, yeah. Definitely add to it. When people just walk into the hotel lobby and into the hospital lobby, Yeah, it's coming out. Yeah. That happened to my friend. She's got three kids and her second two came so... Actually, even her first came on the toilet in the hospital.

The midwife was like, I think you just need a poo. He came out. She had two really quick births after that. And one of them, she walked into the hotel lobby. Hotel, baby between a hospital. Hotel, hotel holiday is. She walked into the hospital with a baby between her legs. Wow.

I watched one the other day and the dad didn't even get into the... didn't even get into the room and she'd already delivered the baby. He dropped her out, parked the car. She'd already given birth. You can't do that. You can't. Sorry, wait for your dad.

Hospital parking, he'd be hours. Especially down the Prince of Sand. Fuck me. You might as well just park it on the bloody street. Just leave it, abandon it. Let it get clamped. It's cheaper. Honestly.

Oh, wow. Sophie, that's brought me unbelievable amounts of joy. Congratulations. Congratulations. And God bless Rosie's going to have that little story. forever, isn't she? Out of the Volvo, into the Volvo.

I would love stories of people, yeah, having their babies on the way to hospital. Yes, please tell me. We need to know where you have given birth. And what happened? And what happened?

Yeah, how are we doing it? Are we leave an umbilical cord in? I guess you have to because that's... But what do you do? Are you like getting a jumper? Yeah. What's going on? Have you got,

did you pack blankets? Did you know this was potentially going to happen? Because it's not a sterile environment. I packed hospital bags. I packed car seats. did I have blankets in the car? No. I had nothing. No. Nothing in the car. Were you prepared? No. Not really. I had my hypnotising, like, soundtrack in my headphones and my pillow.

Was it? If it was going to happen in the car. No. No. I didn't think it would, though. It was quite a way off. Gosh, this is from the whole. He didn't come out. He didn't. For hours. Dankashun, Sophie. If you have any comments, thoughts or funny stories, why not get in touch? You can email us hello at secret mumpod.com. or we're Secret MumPod on TikTok and Instagram. And next is time for one of your secrets. So Emma, what have you got for us? All right, this comes from Jess from Cardiff.

Wee! Big up the wheels, massive. Hi, ladies. Emma will be there soon. Yeah, we'll be friends, Jess. We will be friends. I was supposed to say, it was a little bit threatening. You will be my friend.

I will find you. And you'll enjoy. All right, Liam. And I will not kill you. Okay, hi ladies. After listening to the stealing surprise episode, I thought it was about time I shared my story. I'm so sorry. We're really unhinged this week. If you've listened to this episode and last week, they're very unhinged. If you've listened to the last three

back to back, congratulations for getting through. And we... Drop us a star. We could only apologise. Drop us the star if you've got this far. Yeah. Okay, a bit of background. My almost three-year-old Arlo, oh, beautiful name. Another stunning name. Stunning. Has suddenly started struggling with pronouncing his L's, swapping them for Ws. Fast forward a couple of weeks. He's having a relaxing bubble bath after, of course, watching in the night garden. He looked me dead in the eye covered in bubbles and declared, Mummy, I love wanking. Pardon? I spat, and he repeated as clear as day. Mummy, you know, I love Wamkin. It was only when his dad, almost hyperventilating with laughter in the hall, explained he meant Lampkin that it clicked. I kid you not, nothing prepares you for that.

Definitely one for his 18th. Jess, I think Lampkin might be. be from Moon and me and not in the night garden as an expert in both of those night time programs. And all I was trying to do was replace the W with an hour and I was like, Lankin as in the place.

Who's that? Is that in Hertfordshire, Lankin? Lankishire. Was he trying to say Lancashire? There's a place called you. I really love Wankenshire. Oh. Oh my.

Oh, Lampkin. Yeah, Lampin's a little character Have your kids watched Moon and me on C.B. No. It's a nice. It would have been ages ago Bedtime programme.

Now, we're not on terrestrial television, are we? Well, I watch it through my stick. My fire sticks. But it's just Rachel. You need to get off. I mean, all love and respect, but you need to get off Mr. Rachel.

He's obsessed. He's going to have an American accent. He's going to think that like, that's his mum. I love the American accent so much. Do you know something funny I do in London is look out for an American accent. And I try to see if I can notice people that are American because obviously people come over, don't they?

Well, my American friend is about to move to America with her kids, but they've grown up in London, the ones that are exactly the same age as Jojo and Sadie. And she's like, I'm really, really sad that they're going to lose their British accents. Because they're three and one, they're going to grow up with an American accent. So they love our accent, but we love theirs. Yeah, she was like, the worst thing that's going to happen from this move is them losing their British accent. And they're going to sound American because she's like, I don't want that. She loves their cute little British accents.

But anyway, very cute. No, we don't watch it. We just tend to put Netflix. on so we watch his Netflix on the television. I would recommend 1010 would recommend we're a big C. Beebe's household. We're in massive Disney household aren't we? So it's Elemental, Zootropolis patiently waiting for Zootropolis 2 to come out if you could hurry

up because I'm really excited. We're waiting for Toy Story 5. Oh gosh. Next year. How many more they're going to make? It's a bit like Big Brother isn't it? But I love that. Wampkin. Wampkin. Oh, bless his little heart. Have you had your baby on the way to the hospital? Seriously, please let us know.

We would love to know. We would really love to know. Email us hello at secret mumpod.com or with Secret MumPod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. And we'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episodes. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club.