Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Roundabout Rage

Episode Date: October 9, 2025

One moment at a roundabout has been forever immortalised by a listener’s toddler, and it’s the cutest thing ever! Plus, the ladies hear from a bunch of mums sharing the highs and lows of parenting teenagers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Footy fans. Premier League and Champions League are underway and FanDuel has fresh ways to bet your favourite clubs, like the new two-up money line. Cash out your bet as a winner if your team goes up two goals at any time during the match. Download FanDil today and hit the pitch. Please play responsibly 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem, call 1-8-6-5-3-2-6-100. Physiconics, Ontario. Life's hard nowadays trying to make sure your kids are happy.

So we thought we'd make a podcast about it. It's not parenting advice, though. Don't take advice from us. No, absolutely not. This is more like therapy. With gags. Hopefully. Guys. Oh, God.

Join me, Brooke Vincent. Me, Danny Miller. And me, Wingman, as we discuss parenting, life-raising kids, and why they don't know the born. To listen to our new podcast, you don't know you're born, wherever you get your podcasts.

Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursday's episode. Just forget your bit there. Your idea, sorry. I was hoisting myself up on the chair Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week

Squeeze your bits All of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories To keep you going through the weekends Can we jump on in? It feels like it's given saved by the bell You know, it's not the same tune But every time I listen to it I feel like I'm waiting for

When I wake up in the morning That really brings back school summer holidays. Nistalgic. Is it for you? Yeah. Summer holidays, listening, watching, was it big breakfast that was on? Safe by the Bell, big breakfast, yeah.

All of them. Alex Mac. Oh, mate. Stunning. Absolutely stunning. But anyhow, we digressed. It's time for the correspondence corner. Would you like to give me number one?

Yeah. Okay. All right. Only today, though. Not any other day. Why not? This one is from. Julia in Scotland.

Hello, Julia. It says, hi, Safina and Emma. After hearing about the mum who feels she's drifting away from her teenage son. Oh, hold on, way, we need to buckle the fuck up. Get some tissues. I cried last week at this one. This is the lady whose son is 14 and she is, um, oh, she's spying on his social media. She basically set up a finster to spy on him because she feels like she wants an insight into his life, you know?

Yeah. All right, it says, I thought I'd share my own journey. My son is turning 13 in January, so we're not quite in the midst of the dreaded teenage era yet. I do feel the connection drifting a bit, which is sad, but we still have some lovely times together. He's a competitive swimmer, training most nights of the week. The drive to swimming is usually long and silent. We fill the quiet with a good radio station, laughing and sharing opinions about what's being said or which songs are playing. But the drive home with all the endorphins pumping, he doesn't stop talking, mainly about YouTubers I've never heard of.

We chat and laugh, often right up until I go to bed, and he's still yapping away. How I try to keep our relationship positive is by getting him involved in planning things. This summer, he planned our holiday island hopping in Scotland. We both love adrenaline adventures, so we're always looking for new things to try. He loves snowboarding, and he knows that once he and his eight-year-old sister are more confident on the slopes will go on a ski holiday, keeping him involved and making sure his opinions count really helps. I know it probably won't stay like this over the next few years, but while I can get him to join in, I'm savoring every moment. Love from Julia.

Oh, Julia. You're going to cry again? I just can't, I just can't cope. Like, I can't cope with how. And you feel that like sometimes like I can get in the car And I obviously cobbies only nine But I get in the car and I'm I'm chatting away And he'll be like oh yeah

Because he's scrolling through putting music on in the car And you you already feel that And even though there's even though there's nothing Like the silence to us as I feel as an adult The silence to us is like so loud Like the silence is is really loud sometimes So you sit in the car and when it's dead silent you're like how's your day and yeah did you do much you feel like you need to fill the

gaps and sometimes I say to him oh you know I'm sorry I ask you the same questions he's like no it's fine I'm happy to answer them um but I always say to him is there anything you want to talk about but I always find myself talking about things that are relevant to Colby and then on the odd occasion he'll go oh mum you haven't told me about your day today because sometimes I think I get in the car and I'll waffle about my day and then I'm like so tell me about your day and then he's kind of like bitch I'm over I've just heard all your day I don't want to listen But also they're always like, I don't know if this changes as they get older, but they'll always just be like, yeah, like even when I picked Joseph up from nursery, he's three, not 13, but he'll be like knackered at the end of the day. And I'll be like, what did you do today? He's like, what did you do today? I'm like, what did you have for dinner? I don't know. I'm like, you literally just had it. He's like, can't remember. Like, I get nothing out of him because he's exhausted. But then similarly, like, a weird parallel here, when he goes swimming, I took him swimming yesterday, take him swimming on Mondays. And he's like, it always strikes me how bouncing he is after. his swimming lesson because he's like...

Which is so strange because it's so tiring. It's tiring, but immediately after he's like buzzing that he's done well and I think it's true, I think he's got like the endorphins and he like bounds out of there and he's so chatty and he's like really fun and he's like, mommy, let's go and do this and I think doing an activity with them that they enjoy or just talking about the activity they enjoy can really help. Yes, which is my... Is that football?

Yeah, it's our football. So when he comes out of football and he's like bra-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b. But me, you know, there's different things. we've got different interests like with each child. So obviously Colby is all about football. He loves football. He loves music. So I always find that I'm,

we're constantly talking about the things like new music that he's listening to or what the boys have been doing at school or talking about his football when he's found some new release football boots or his PlayStation games. So I always try and find to stay up on the things that are relevant in his life. Yeah, because they don't want to talk about what you want to talk about. But Dottie will literally talk the, she will. never the girl can really talk like they're I I think I'd be more scared if dotty goes

quiet yeah because then I'm like fuck she's sick there's something wrong with her someone help her she'll come out of school and she'd be like you never guess what Tiffany did to she's a she's a gossip and you're like oh my friend julia's parents and you're like right okay how how do you know this and she's like oh did you not know because of number eight down the road of this and you're like where the fuck have this And sometimes I sit there and she goes, are you listening? She's the opposite. She's like, mommy, mommy.

Sorry, daughter, I checked out for a second. For a second then. What were you talking about? She's like, the neighbour over the road. Sorry, I was still in school. Yeah, I'm zoning out. Yeah. So I don't know whether, again, is it boy girl?

Or if girls are maybe a little bit later. So, sort of 16, 17. I don't know. I don't know because obviously we're not there. So sometimes I feel like I'm staying very relevant for Colby in his world. because again I'm a girl Not that girls shouldn't know anything But I don't really

That football isn't my world No you had to learn Yeah I've had to learn Because it's not something that I've ever taken An interest personally about myself So I'm trying to learn and be the best version For him in that But yeah

Does it make you feel uncool when you're like What are the kids listening to? You're like the mum from mean girls What's the four? No because I think my social media Makes me stay Yeah you actually know Because you're on TikTok

You actually know cool shit So when my nieces and my nephews Are you like oh aren't he Have you seen this trend And I'm like, honey, I've really done it. Yeah, mate. I was on that three weeks ago. Went viral, a million views.

Check it out, kids. Yeah. So I feel like I got an advantage. You have. I get to new music that's out. I can hear it online. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to be like, kids, what's up?

What's up? Yeah. But no, I love that, Julia. And I think you're, there's not much else we can do. No. Other than giving them the time and space to grow, to be there but not suffocate them. to do hobbies and keep them involved.

And I physically don't think there is any more that you can do, you know. Thanks, Julia. I appreciate that. I hope our mum is taking some comfort. Yeah, comfort in that. But we're not alone. There is always going to be someone out there that's thinking, feeling, going through exactly what we're going through. So we're all in this together, honey.

We really are. Right, let's have our second one. Okay, this says, hello ladies. Hello. I'm a mum of three fully grown adults, 40, 33, 38 and 33. Wowzers. When they were teenagers, I used to host movie marathon sleepovers at my house and invite their close friends to join.

I'd try my best to make it a full cinema experience, popcorn, sodas, sweets, the works. We'd all pile into the living room some blankets on the floor. They got to choose the movies and we'd agree to keep going until the sun came up. It was such a fun way to get to know my children's friends and they got to see I was a cool mom. Or at least trying to be. I'm not a regular mom. I'm a cool mom. Yeah, that's going to be me.

Or at least trying to be. One of the trickiest parts of watching your children become adults is learning to have an adult relationship with them. You have to trust that you did your best raising and teaching them and that when you stop trying to control every aspect of their lives, they'll appreciate it. Yes. Respect their boundaries as adults and know that when they want your advice, they'll ask. Yes. I've been listening since day one and enjoy every laugh, every tear and everything in between. Thank you ladies, Annie from Florida.

Oh, Annie, you absolute babe. As soon as she said, we have movie nights. I was like, this is in America. This, oh. 100%. Yeah, because we don't. I could just tell. We don't really do them here, do we.

I could tell. We don't really do them. I love that. How cool. Like all nighters, popcorn, soda. Your mates around. She literally is a cool mum. But I think she couldn't have put it any better.

I feel like giving them respect, giving them the space, be in there when they need you, not being invasive of their world or their lives and just being there in the background, knowing that things are going on, but you're just giving them the space to be who they want to be. I think is phenomenal. And what a wonderful way to, one, get to know their friends. but also to be in the, in the click but not. Be in the click, but be cool. You're like, I'm doing this cool thing that you all want to do

and I'm just going to be chill, but like you guys just do what you want. I would be fast asleep though, Annie. I won't like, until the sun came up. I mean, like 9pm guys, I'm checking out, but you kids... You put in a film on, giving me a blanket, turn the lights out. I said, I'm fucked. They'll probably go, they're all escape. They'll be like, fuck your mum.

Fuck your mum. Let's get out of it. Or they'll start arranging movie nights knowing that I fall to sleep. They'll go out for four hours, come back and be like, like they never left. Oh, that was a great film. Or they'll be like shaving your eyebrow off or drawing on your head with permanent marker. I'd embrace it though, to be honest. Yeah.

I'm like, yeah. I'm a cool mom. I'm a cool mom with my no brows. That's amazing advice from someone that's on the other end of it though, because your children are fully grown. She's seen it all. She's seen it all. Yes. That's lovely advice.

Yeah, thank you so much. Okay, we've got one last message here. It says, hi, Sophie and Emma. In response to the mom who wrote in about her, her teenage child not communicating and resorting to checking his internet and TikTok. My son is now 22 with his own child and it's come full circle. He now comes to me with everything, his troubles and his good news. They do come back to you. It gets better. They just need space to go through those rough teenage years. My boy still lives with me

along with his girlfriend and my grandson, Grayson. Oh gosh. Who's two, I've got the best of both worlds and it's fantastic. Love Kim. Well, he really did come back. I mean, he never went away. I was going to say, did he actually leave? Did he go and then come back? Do you go and come back or did he just go? Do you know what? This shit is too good. I'll never leave my mum. That's what I hope mine do.

I've got it made. I don't want them to ever leave. Stay with me forever. Bring your wives, your children, your husbands. I'll take them all. We'll put an extension out of the back. We'll all just stay here and we'll have a merry great life together. Yeah.

That's why you've got to make it the fun place to be. I'm kidding. So they come back. If they want to leave, they can. But they'll always have a room in my house. Yeah. But no, that's wonderful. Isn't that actually gets to have the grandbaby.

All the time. My mom would actually be like, no, can you? I think your mum would say no. Yeah, she needs her own space, I think. But that's lovely, isn't it? And how nice for him that, his mum's on hand. Yeah. To help with all the advice and because first baby is, it's no joke.

Yeah. I love that. I really, really love that. That's made me feel really, warm with my belly. Does that make you feel better? Yeah. You could have a 22-year-old Colby living with you with his girlfriend and his two-year-old. Okay, that's, so that's okay.

year old man I think we just went a little bit too deep into there then slightly freaking out a little bit maybe not I don't know that I'd but how old will I be well how old how many years until he's 22 oh fuck me what is he now nine nine so it'll be 13 years so you'll be 50 wow okay right let's pretend that we never spoke about that bit but so happy for you Kim this is divine yeah thank you so much for your messages if you have any comments thoughts or funny stories. Why not get in touch? You can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with secret mum pod on TikTok and Instagram. Next, it's time for one of your secrets today. What's it going to be, baby? Stunning. Footy fans. Premier League and Champions League are underway

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your way. Download fan duel and hit the pitch today. Please play responsibly 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem call 1866 530-1-2600. Visit Connx Ontario.com. It's William and Jordan here

from Help. I sexted my bus. And on the latest episode, Jordan's got a big bulbous spot that's vying to be my new co-host. It's been brewing. I reckon by end of this when we finish this,

It might be ready to burst. Do you want to come and watch me? I do not want to watch your burst of the spot. No, I don't. And we give a lesson in urinal etiquette. I had a wee next to Chris Martin once. And when you look down, was it all yellow? Very good.

It's the podcast where manners meet mehem. Listen now, wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back. I don't know if you heard Emma just belched there. That was my secret. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. We love a secret on the secret mum club And you are all so good at sharing

What have you got today? Emma Jones Okay, this one says Hello lovely ladies Hello I have to tell you about my baby girl Naya Who's learning to talk And copying words from everyone around her

We've on our way to the farm near us I really really love children getting used to their words We love shit Oh, have you It's very funny There's a video with this So just

Oh stop it, this is even better Yeah, okay, brace yourself Brace yourself Brace Okay, we were on our way to the farm near us When we kept seeing roundabouts with England flags painted on them I said to my mum They haven't missed a fucking roundabout

Are they? And now Naya's new buzzword is Fucking roundabout The whole thing, not even just the F word If anyone mentions a roundabout She automatically shouts Fucking roundabout Ladies, I bloody love you

And thank you for keeping me saying During my postpartum period Us moms really are superheroes Love Elona and Naya Okay Alona and Naya. These names are beautiful. Fuck me.

I need to see this roundabout. Have we got it? Have you got it? Uh-huh. Whatchamble? Mommy, the rounderbent's gone. Yeah, the roundabout's gone. Oh, the roundabout's gone.

Is that means you shouldn't say it, okay? A bad word. She's so dinky. She's so little. She's so little. Her placations are amazing. The roundabout's gone. Yeah, do you think we should start?

Stop saying it. Stop saying it then. No, fucking roundabout. Yeah. And to be fair, like roundabouts can be rage inducing. So she's got like the context, right. You'd be like, oh, fucking roundabout. Why can no one fucking indicate?

It's a feed, you're fucking idiot. Get weight on the left. Give way to the right, isn't it? Give way to the right. Give way to the right. Did I say the left? Get way to the right. I mean, I've got two left, honey.

We do have driving left. Whatever left. Okay, when I'm in it, I know what I'm doing, all right. Yeah. God, just trying to say it out loud. Do you ever figure out the other day? I've been driving for 20 years.

Same. That is actually disgusting. How soon after your 17th birthday? Did you pass your test? Four months. So July, August, September, October, October, November, November. Wait. April.

The April after my birthday. Oh, okay. July, August, September, October, November, December. Okay. Not to pick you to the post, but I was February. Oh, fucking yeah, because you would Emma Jones, wouldn't you? God. But we still don't know what way you give.

Yeah, we still don't know. I know. I know when I'm in the car. Yeah. To be fair, I just speed up. I'm joking. Give way to me, motherfuggers. I'm going to!

Oh, gosh, that was beautiful. Gosh, thank you. Alona. Stunning little girl. That's honestly filled my heart. It's so much joy. We're on the shit train at the moment. Really just says shit.

Shit. Everything is shit. Where's he learned that from? And he does this really dramatic. Oh, shit. Life's a shit. Shit. Shit.

Shit. It's really funny. I'm not stopping him. Does he say it all the time? Yeah, all the time. And then she just walks up and down the kitchen. Shit. Shit.

The other day was saying hello to the neighbour. Obviously, we're not going to use the neighbour's real names. But he was saying the neighbour's real name. And he was like, shit. Oh, okay. So he doesn't know the context of it. Like he wouldn't be like, oh, shit. He does a shit when he's on his head.

Or he walks into the door, shit. Cereals fall out of the cupboard. Shit. If you see in the neighbour, he's like, so and so shit. He thinks it's like, he thinks it's like, He doesn't know, just thinks it's a really cool word. It is a cool word. And we've also, we're doubling on the words now.

Yes. We are now doing Mama's car. Yeah. He says, Wen, when, when shoes? Is that you? Ren Ren, Ren, Ren, Ren, Ren, Ren, Ren, Ren, Ren, Ren, Ren, Ren Shoes. Yeah, we can't get Sadie to say Sadie. When do they, I don't know when Joseph started doing that.

We're on everybody at the moment. So we got Mum and Dadda. Yeah, Colby is just dick. He's always dick. He just says, Dick, Dick. I say to him, can you go and call Baba and Sissy for dinner. He goes, Sissy, Dodo. Dick

And he really accentuates Dick You sure he doesn't mean pizza dick No Nice dick Dada Dada mama Dick

Sissy dot dot Auntie Unc Jammies We've got Witchie Auntie Obviously Auntie Amy We've got

Eden But she's Egbert Don't know where that's going from She's Egbert Egbert Egbert Beas is B or bias Ember is Emma

Yeah Although you think that she I'm afraid she's dropped to be Although we've got Emma for Ember but then Egbert for Eden She's got to be She's got to be But yeah

Knows all the neighbours names Yeah we've got all the names But she's all the time That's Sadie is What's Sadie doing? Sadie but no Yeah he does Wrenren for himself Oh

Wen when when I think she's gone straight from Because like Joseph did that thing Where they referred to themselves In the third person Yes But she says like me and mine already Yes

So maybe she's just going straight to that Yes I don't know she's He does squirrel gone Squill gone Squirrel Yeah Squirrel

And just really Sounds like he's got his really Manly accent Squirrel gone Squill gone He just walks around the garden shouting shit Squill gone

Do you have a lot of squirrels? Yeah loads We've got loads And loads of squirrels in the garden Yeah My favourite thing That Sadie started doing It's so polite

When I give her something Like her dinner or whatever She goes Thank you mummy Oh No we're not that clever She doesn't do She doesn't do it for Stefan

Shit Just me I said Stefan Does she say thank you Daddy to you And he was like no We've got love you Love you mum

Love you, mummy. Love you. And he strokes my face. And Chris says, do you love daddy? No, lo you, mummy. Love you, mummy. Yes. Has your little one got a naughty buzzword?

Then let us know. Please do, because I actually really fucking love them. We live for these, don't me. Email us hello at secret mumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'd be back for, but ba-p-p-ba-back. You've got your bees. We'll be back. At some point next week.

So tune in. And we'll have more. of your messages on our next Thursday episode. But we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club. problem call 1-6-6-5-3-1-2-600. Visit onexemptory.com. Life's hard nowadays trying to make sure your kids are happy.

So we thought we'd make a podcast about it. It's not parenting advice, though. Don't take advice from us. No, absolutely not. This is more like therapy. With gags. Hopefully, guys. Oh, God.

Join me, Brooke Vincent. Me, Danny Miller. And me, Wingman, as we discuss parenting, life-raising kids and why they don't know the born. To listen to our new podcast, you don't know you're born, wherever you get your podcasts.