Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The School Switch

Episode Date: July 30, 2026

Soph opens up after receiving an outpouring of messages about Dottie's move to a new school, with listeners sharing their own experiences of bullying, changing schools and finding where they truly belong. Plus, it's time for more of your incredible love stories, from a magical Lapland romance to a chance New Year's Eve meeting that changed everything.Emma Spring Bank Holiday Sale is live! Get up to 25% off plus extra 5% using the code SECRETSLEEP at Emma Sleep.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. Welcome to your Thursday's episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. I had a good horn noise, but yours is better. Who's got a bit of horn? Yeah, rate our horn.

Raid my horn. Anywho, we'll squeeze your bits. All of your comments, sorts, questions and fun stories. To keep going through the weekend. Showing! We literally just said we talk too fucking much and then we just talk to show. Don't have you right. Welcome back to the secret lives of shit wives.

Secret lives of boring wives. It's a bit of a bit of rhyme with Mormon. Okay, boring. Secret lives are boring wives. What about secret life of a nearly wife? That's you, isn't it? Yeah, but then we have to have something that's the same. Yes.

You're not nearly married. I'm wifed up. For a really long time. She's wifie for lifey, honey. Wifee for lifey. Same penis. My sister had same penis forever sign on my hand and do. I was like, my mom's hair.

That's too much. Same penis forever. That goes for your mum and dad though. Yeah. Same penis forever. Don't want to think about that, but yes. Imagine men said that about us. Same vagina forever.

Same boobs forever. Poor Chris. Same shit tits forever. My boobs aren't the same. Stefan's been missold because these are not the same as what they were. They were miss old PPI. Missold some tits. Yeah.

My tits after having the babies, they were great. Tits and vagina post kids are different. Oh, I don't know that I loved my vagina before. Yeah, but it's different, isn't it, after you've pushed three babies out? Yeah, it's riddled with hemorrho and stuff. And it's time. Right. It's time for another.

Correspondence corner. No, it's got it. I've lost it. So, Emma, let's have the first one, please. Okay, we've had a few messages about Dottie moving schools. Stop it. This one comes from Meg from New South Wales, Australia. Wow.

She says, hi, ladies. I've been listening since the very beginning before I was even a mum myself. Becoming a mum had always been my dream and listening to the podcast made me feel connected to that future version of myself. Fast forward to now and my son, Clancy, is nearly one. Stop it now. What a cool name. What an absolutely beautiful name, Clancy.

Oh, that's adorable. I can't believe how quickly this year has gone, but I truly feel like motherhood is what I was meant to do. So, if I was listening to the episode where you opened up about Dottie struggles at school, As well as being a teacher, I also experienced bullying growing up and ended up moving schools more than once because of it. When I was in year three, I had a really difficult experience with another girl. Looking back, I don't think it was malicious, but it made school incredibly hard. I cried, protested and dreaded going in.

Eventually, my mum said, enough was enough. On the Friday, I taught a new school and by Tuesday I was a pupil there. I stayed at that school until year 10 when I faced another difficult situation with a group of girls. Once again, my mom could see how much it was affecting me. We took a few days off, had little mother-daughter getaway, and I moved schools. If I hadn't moved in year three, I never would have met my bridesmaids. And if I hadn't moved in year 10, I never would have met my husband. Oh, stop it.

I've got goosebumps. What the hellie. As a teacher, I know how difficult these situations can be from every angle. Sometimes a school just isn't the right fit. It doesn't matter how hard the child, the parents or the teachers try. Sometimes people simply don't gel. I've seen confident happy children slowly lose their spark because of one difficult relationship or experience. I just wanted to reassure you that sometimes a new environment is exactly

what's needed. Sending all my love, Meg. Oh, that is absolutely adorable. How beautiful. That is really beautiful, isn't it? It's so hard, isn't it? And even the silly things, like I said to Chris the other night, I said, isn't it, like, isn't it strange? Not strange, but I said that, like, what if this school doesn't work out for her? And then Chris was like, that's okay, because we'll just move her again. And it's actually really nice to hear that because I kind of sat on my head and I was like, no, I can't just move. Can't just keep moving her schools, you know, like it has to, you start then questioning your child, don't you? You start then going, God, is it something I'm missing? And am I missing something as her mom?

Is she doing something? And like we've just had, because obviously it's the old school, we just had our school report come in. And her school report is literally so wonderful. And she is, oh, God. Why do I always fucking cry about this shit? Well, it is emotional. When I tell you,

there was a part of me that thought that she was going to really struggle. Obviously, we went through that the school wanted to test her for dyslexia and we went through a journey and I shared that all with you. But there was a part of me that was just like, okay, she may struggle.

Colby took to it like a duck to water. Like, he is so, so clever. And honestly, I always say it to Chris. I find Chris fascinates me. He knows so much about history. and he's just a wonderful, wonderful person. I just think he's so great, such a great dad to be around the children

because he just knows so much stuff and he's a wonderful person. And I just thought, that's where Colby's got it from. He's Colby's picked that up. And then when obviously Dottie was having a little bit of trouble at the old school, I just thought, oh gosh, he's going to be me.

She's inherited everything from me. And then she's got her school report back and she is over-exceeding in every single category, like literally reading a maths, She's overachieving. Like she's working at a higher standard. And that is just so, like I'm so proud of her. Like none of it is affected her schoolwork.

She's applied herself. She's put everything into it. And it hasn't dampened her sparkle. But it's just hard because I said, Chris, gosh, what if this school just isn't the school for her? And what if we have to think about moving her again? And I've really lost myself in my head because I was like, God, fuck, no, we couldn't move her again.

So that's actually, sorry. It's actually really lovely to hear. Because it's something you don't ever think of, do you? You never think I'm going to be with them, probably even once, let alone move schools twice. And I don't, you know, I really, really romanticise the idea of having the children home and homeschooling. And I would love to have them home. I'd love to have them home all the time and homeschool them. But I also do love that she's learning so much.

She's learning so much at school. She's flourishing. She's doing incredible. It's just right now at her little person, she's just struggling. to find to find our little friends Is she how she doing it at the new school? She's doing okay

No she loves loves loves loves the new school It's doing wonderful She's doing really really great She's obviously just finding her feet with friends And as well what's hard is she's coming right at the end of the year And then she's going to change when we go back So she'll have a few familiar faces Which is what we wanted anyway

Yeah So I said to her no don't try not to get too disheartened It'll be you know Once you settle into year three It'll be like a whole fresh start and you're all going to be new in there together in the classroom. And then you can kind of go from there. So at the moment, she's kind of just plateauing over.

But the thing I find hard for Dottie is that she is one of the eldest of the year. And because she's got my sister's three older girls, she tends to gravitate towards the older girls. Now, the same as the other school was a split. So because it's only year R one and two and then you went over to another school. This one has the whole school from year R to year six in there. but where the weather's been so hot they segregated the year groups

so her friends that are in year five and year six. She isn't at see them. She isn't seeing them at the moment. I think she was kind of like really excited to be able to play with them and see them. But at the moment they're doing a lot of transition days because they're leaving year six to go to year seven and then her year five friends are doing lots in the school but obviously everyone

is trying to stay shaded and stay cool so she's not finding the little friends that she has in the school But she's making friends. She's had two party invitations to go to birthdays. Isn't that just the sweetest thing? And they're the places where you'll find. Because obviously we had all this.

We're starting in a new school as well. That is the best clown of like finding people and chatting to people and finding the people that you get on with. That's where you find out the most, I think. It's not on the playground. You've got to get to those parties. Yes. And you can really get deep in there interrogate some people. But no, she is doing incredible.

It was never going to be a quick fix. And, you know, she's just so happy. She bounces into school every day. Good. She comes out with the biggest smile on her face and that's enough for me. Yeah. It's just the little bit. Obviously, it's still very daunting.

Yeah. She's for a while going to be the new girl. Yes. So, yes. But she's doing, yeah, she's doing fantastic. Oh, good. Well, that's so nice to hear, isn't it? Thanks, Meg, so much.

And I hope that not only have you reassured my mind, but I hope that also makes another mama feel less alone in all of this. And I'm so sorry your journeying through school was, well, actually horrific but on the flip side absolutely sensational it worked out three bridesmaids and your husband what the hellie honey everything happens for a reason everything happens for a reason all right I've got one more message here it says hi ladies I just wanted to write in after listening to the episode about dotty moving school I found it really emotional hearing sophina talk about dotty's experience I was bullied at primary school it started when I was seven and it had a massive

effect on my mental health so much so that by the age of nine I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I begged to move schools, but unfortunately it wasn't possible. I had to battle with it until I left in year six. When I went to secondary school, I finally found my people. I made some wonderful kind friends and only then did I realize there was nothing wrong with me. I wasn't the problem. I was just unfortunately in a primary school with some very not nice girls. You've done exactly the right thing for your little girl. Dottie clearly wasn't in the right school for her, but I'm praying she finds amazing friends at her new one. I heard you talk about Dotty and she's exactly the sort of child I'd have wanted to be friends with.

Kind, funny, imaginative, wicked sense of style and I'd have loved building fairy houses with her. She's incredibly blessed to have two parents supporting her and putting the effort in to ensure she's the happiest she can be. It's only now, as a parent myself, I realize how hard it must have been for my parents to see me struggling. You're only ever as happy as your least happy child, right? Sending you big hugs, lots of love, Amelia.

Jesus Christ. Are you okay? I've never heard that. You're only ever as happy as your least happy. Happy child. Yeah. Oh my God, that's so true. Fucking hell.

That is incredibly kind of you to say. It blows my mind. It blows my mind that why does children so young have to go through such shit? Like it's really horrible. Thanks, Maz. Sorry, thank you very much. Maas has given me a tissue because I, a blubbering mess. I just can't fathom.

I was bullied all through secondary school. The problem was, is in. in primary school I was such a, such a lost, I always say I was a bit of a lost soul. Like I didn't, I wasn't learning. I was struggling obviously with my dyslexia, but I didn't have a diagnosis. So no one really knew what to do with me. And I was a bit of a, a bit of a wild canon. I was never harmful to anybody or never hurt anybody.

I was never, never malicious or said anything rude. I don't ever even remember at primary school ever thinking something so awful of a child. I don't ever remember being like saying, of a child, oh, your shoes are really ugly. Yeah. Like that, that was never, never, never, ever in my mindset to have ever said that. So me and my little deluded state went off to secondary school, la la la la, la, with all of these other children, only to be like, what the fucking hell is fucking, people were telling, saying

stuff about my weight, people were saying stuff about my hair, the way I walked. Every bit that could have been nitpicked was nitpicked. My brother was bullied. My sister was bullied And it's just I don't I can't I can't fathom it in my head

And it hurts my heart To think that there is children Out there that are being so unkind And if that was my daughter Fucking tell me Tell me Because that I'd be mortified I'd be mortified

The children can be really cruel It's really cruel And that absolutely breaks my heart And she stuck it out All them years as well And then went off to secondary school But it just really, really breaks my heart that, one, I hate bullying. I just don't understand it.

I won't ever understand it. I don't think I'll ever get my head around it at any age, you know. It just wasn't in my mindset. I was going to school to play Kirby. Yeah. I don't know what I played. Balldog. Yeah.

Kiss Chase. Yeah. Yeah. It's sad. Gone of those days. But thank you so much. Sorry I got emotions. It's a very sensitive topic.

Yeah. Yeah. And it's almost like when someone. If someone validates you or reassures you, you can be like, oh, it's like the relief of that. Like, oh, okay, maybe we did do the right thing. And there's a lot of emotion tied up in that. There is a lot of emotion in it. But we're doing good.

Hopefully, we're on the other side now. So thank you for your messages. If you have any comments, thoughts or funny stories, why not get in touch? You can email us hello at secret mumpod.com or with SecretMumPod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back after this short break. Welcome back. Now we would normally be getting into one of your secrets. But... But...

But... But... We've had so many brilliant love stories sent in that we couldn't resist sharing a few more. Literally my favourite thing in the world. I know, I love it so much. Oh, Emma, what have you got for us? Okay, this is hi, so for Emma. Back in 2015, little 23-year-old me landed my dream job working as an elf in Lapland.

Stop it! After an incredible season, I went back the following year as Chief Elf. This is actually a dream come true Is this made up? This is real life I didn't realize that season was about to change my life forever After a week of training

I met Simon one of the drivers Oh, I thought she was going to say buddy I met Father Christmas The man himself I'm married Big man is now my husband Sorry we're taken away from this Just Simon

Sorry sorry Simon Sorry The moment I saw him I remember thinking There's something about him After lots of passing each other at work and exchanging small talk, we ended up on a staff night out, fueled by a few too many cocky teas.

That's cocktails. I'm not dressed ourselves. I blurted out that I really liked him. I immediately started backtracking, saying, it's okay if you don't feel the same, but thankfully, he shut me up by kissing me there and then. Oh my gosh, I would have really loved this if you were dressed ourselves. This is so romantic, go.

This is so romantic. It's a movie like, oh. It's okay if you don't feel the same. Oh, it's shocking me. Our first official date was in the snow beneath the northern lights. Oh, get out. This is, this is, someone's pulling my penis. This cannot be true.

It's too good. Too good to be true. And we spent the rest of the season falling in love in the most magical place imaginable. When the season ended, we worried it might just have been the magic of Lapland. He lived three hours away from me and we weren't sure whether we could make long distance work. Turns out we could. Six months later, we moved to the Lake District. together because I couldn't bear the distance anymore.

Fast forward, nearly 10 years, and we're now married with two beautiful little boys aged three years and three months. People always tell us how story sounds like a Disney film and honestly it felt like one. He still annoys the life out of me every single day, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Lots of love, Paige. That is unbelievable, isn't it? That is absolutely up there with the most dreamiest of dreamy lives. Also, think about the story their children get to tell.

my parents met because they were elves at Lapland. Well, Simon was a driver, but my mum was chief elf. I'd be like, I screwed the elf, you know? I wonder if he wouldn't have told all his mates. I would have never made it sound that romantic. That is beautiful. And then went for a snowy date under the Northern Lights. What in the absolute fairy talk.

Sounds made up. Oh, Paige. I do. We do believe you. That is dreaming. We're only jealous, really, because that's not how dreamy ours was. That's amazing, is it? I'll keep my tummy rumbling.

Emma's really hungry today. So if you can hear her tummy growling at you, she is going to... It's because it's 3 a.m. Okay. Thank you so much, Paige. Thank you, Paige. Beautiful. Sorry about Emma's stomach.

And I hope you've still got the elf outfits. I really hope. I hope you do... I know if that's Simon's thing. Roll play. You've got to get your kinks where you can get them. You can suck on my candy, Kay. Jockely use that line.

God, I don't know, but I just my ovaries have just... Riveled up inside of me. Have that one, Simon, for free. Oh, or lick my lollipub. What is it? Lollipop, lullipop. Ooh, la la la la la lily. No, what?

Oh, I take you to the candy shop. I let you lick my candy stick. Oh gosh, too much. Let you lick the lollipop. I know, always take candy sticks or else. One taste to have you spending all you got. Keep going until you hit the spot. Whoa.

Okay. Ready? Thank you, Paige. We appreciate you. That took a time. Sorry, sorry to Sully your love story. Okay, we've got another one. It says, hi, ladies.

Strap yourselves in because this one's a long one. Oh my God, I don't know if I can handle this, honey. I truly believe in right person, right place, right time. Right now. Right here. Right now. Right, we're in clearly very irritating moods. Right, stop.

We need to regroup. On New Year's Eve, 2015, I was supposed to be going on a rekindleau love date with my ex at the four seasons. Then my best friend called in tears because she'd just been dumped. Naturally, I cancelled my plans, grabbed a bottle of wine and rushed over to rescue her. Girl power. We ended up in the most questionable pub imaginable. While there, she started chatting to a guy she knew and somehow he and I began greeting

each other with, oh hey, best friend, every time we cross paths. One of his mates kept catching my eye throughout the night, but he disappeared before midnight and I assumed that was that. Then a few hours later, I heard someone shout, oh, hey, best friend. I turned around and there he was again, along with the guy I'd been eyeing up all night. We got chatting and immediately clicked. At five minutes to midnight, he appeared once more and asked, Can I kiss you at midnight?

I actually turned him down because I wanted to spend the countdown with my best friend, girl code and all that. We swapped numbers just after midnight and almost 11 years later, the rest is history. Wow. We now have a beautiful home, a gorgeous little puppy and a three-year-old son. The random guy I'd spent all evening calling best friend ended up being the best man at our wedding. So I wonder if he ended up with the friend? Or maybe not because he was just friends with the guy.

He was friends with the guy. But if they ended up all with each other, like a little foursum. That would have been great. Wow. Every day I'm grateful that we both ended up in that awful pub at exactly the right moment. And for the record, neither of us has ever been back. Lots of love, George from Hampshire. So, sorry, George, hold.

There's so many questions. There's so many questions. What happened to your best friend? What happened to your best friend? Did she get with your friend? Did she get with their best friend? Did she get back with the ex? Or was it awkward at the wedding?

Because her best friend would have been there and the best man would have been there. And they, I guess not that awkward because they only were just chatting in a pub. It's not like they were. No. They weren't exis. It was her best friend's friend anyway. She introduced them because they went to the pub, didn't they? The two girls went to the pub.

Two girls went to the pub. And they met her. She started chatting to this guy. Right. But they weren't best friends. Yeah. But they obviously would have been at the wedding together eventually. Maybe as a couple, maybe not.

Let us know. Wow. Also what happens with the Rekindla Love guy? Yeah. What happened to him? Just put him off and was like, sorry, fell in love overnight. Fuck off. Girl code. Wow. George. What a good best friend. What a great best friend. And she found love. Yeah. That's me on a Thursday night when I said I'm going out to meet my husband tonight. And you did. And I met Chris. Well, fiancé. Fiancé. Fiancé. Fiance. When I'm married, honey. They are beautiful.

Lovely. I love them so much. Honestly, they bring me so much joy. I don't think I will ever get over them. They bring me a lot of love. I really love them. Thank you all so much. want to share with us, then let us know. You can email us hello at secretmanforth.com or we're SecretMumpot on TikTok and Instagram. Please do the rest of the outro in that ghost voice. We'll be back first. It will be back first thing on juice. Oh, well, prove your messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time.

on Dracula's in now and we'll see you next time on the Sea you and more

see you're and more