Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Sewn Sleeves

Episode Date: October 24, 2024

After a full day in the studio, delirium is setting in for the ladies, and to make things even weirder we hear an interesting tip for dealing with thumb-sucking. Plus the ladies are torn when they learn about one mum's solution for tackling an unfortunate (and very messy) showroom toilet disaster. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, do you high campers? Just popping up before we get cracking because we have some huge news. It's honestly the biggest news we've ever had. Well, apart from you getting engaged and us being pregnant. So you may have seen a couple of weeks ago, I teased you with the idea of us having a live show. Well, it is official. We're taking the Secret Mum Club live. For the first time ever, we're bringing the podcast to the stage and we couldn't be more excited. Mark your calendars because on November 21st, we'll be live at Oxford House in London for one night only.

So you best buckle the fuck up, bitches. It's going to be super special and up close and personal and tickets are very limited. So grab them where you can. Tickets are on sale right now. and personal and tickets are very limited so grab them where you can. Tickets are on sale right now so head to socials for more info and the link to buy tickets. We're gonna be L-M-V-I-N and I can't wait to see you there! As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed

during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. We get it. Life gets busy. Luckily, with Peloton Tread, you can still get the challenging workouts you crave. Only have 10 minutes? Take a quick Peloton workout.

Wanna go all out? Chase down your goals with 20 to 45 minute tread workouts. No matter your goals or time, Peloton has everything you need to become everything you want. Find your push, find your power. Peloton, visit one power. Peloton. Visit OnePeloton.ca Hello, this is The Secret Mom Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome back to your Thursday's

episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. Squeeze your bits and bobs, all your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories keep you going through the weekend. So shall we jump on in? It's time for another Correspondence Corner. I don't do Correspondence Corner, also Emma's got a lot of backing up to do because she hasn't been here doing fuck all. So she's taking the show. You better work. You better work, work, work, work, work. All right. This one is from Gabby. She says, Hello, Emma and Safina. Hello, Gabby. I'm a mum to three beautiful children, age 12, nine and six. Big up.

And naturally, I love listening to your podcast. Thank you. I don't want to say I'm a big deal. Naturally. Emma thinks the podcast is hers. She says that's her on the door, but it's not. Your face on the door. I wanted to share my daughter's drawings with you. Oh my crumbs. Her name is Kimberly and she's my six year old. She absolutely loves drawing and will spend hours doing it.

I've attached her latest creations, The Naughty Elf and Inside Out 2. I hope you love them as much as we do. They're amazing. I'm being parsed them, I'm being parsed. I'm being parsed. Stop it. Let me see. Oh my god. Let me see. Wow. Shut the fuck up. They're the new emotions from inside out too. Stop it. She's sick. This is embarrassment. This is anxiety. This is ennui. This is embarrassment. This is anxiety. This is ennui. Ennui. Ennui. Ennui. Ennui. Ennui. Is it envy? The green one? Oh, disgust. What the fudging norahs. Kimberly, I had an inside

out party that we were so kindly had at our house and we were gifted it. What? This is literally like I'm just straight back there. Unbelievable. That's fucking- Taking you straight back. That's pride and place. That's going on the gallery wall. That's going on the gallery wall, Kimberly. And her elf. Let me see. Right, Kimberly. Elf on the shelf.

We need to see the birth certificate because I'm sure, my six year old don't, she doesn't, Dossie doesn't do that. I can't even do that. I can't even do that. What the fuck? She's even drawn a present. I'm so absolutely flabbergasted by these. This is up there with the old watermelon slice from a couple of weeks ago.

It's up on the wall behind me. I know. Yeah, these will go up right. You've got some behind you. You've actually got the shitting skeleton. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Shitting. On the x-ray. Baxi the inside out too.

Yeah, you love that, don't you? I just can't. that's absolutely phenomenal. The detail, the teeth, the eyes. It looks like it's been them. She's given them the stars. It looks like it's been traced. Don't say that. I wanna see some proof.

Kimberly, that is absolutely. Unreal. Unreal. Six years old. Gabby, you should be so bloody proud of her. That is incredible-ie-b. I'm absolutely blown. Uncredible.

Uncredible. Wow. Thank you so much. Thank you for sharing those with us. Please pass on our thank you to Kimberly. That is just absolutely wonderful. Wow. Wow.

Thank you. What a way to start the show. I know. Holy shit. It's pretty embarrassing. It makes you feel like a piece of shit when a six-year-old can do that. When the six-year-old can draw better than you. I can't do anything. I'm pretty embarrassing. It makes you feel like a piece of shit when a six year old can do that. When the six year old can draw better than you.

I can't do anything. I'm not artistic at all, are you? I got an A star in art. Did you? Yeah. Well. You can't draw though. What did you do?

I made a shoe. Ha. Isn't that more deep? Out of what? Like a sculpture? Pepe de Meche. Pepe de Meche? Pepe de Meche. And it had a springy heel. I think someone stole my design. I'm pretty sure there's a designer that's bought a shoe out of that. Yeah. You should be suing Christian Nabutov. Copyrights on that. I know he also drew an eye, a big eye.

Wow. Wow. Ace stars are a lot easier to get back in the day. Yeah, it's harder now. I think it's harder now kids. I think they felt sorry for me. Was that your one? Bless her, she got ungraded and everything else. Let's give her an ace.

Let's give her something. Poor girl can't read or fucking write. Give her an ace star on's give her something. Poor girl can't read a fucking write. Give her an A star on this one. At least she can make a shoe. Good for you. I mean I wouldn't be able to make the shoe now. I made a shoe. It actually was so good.

It was in the National Watchtack Gallery. The Louvre. It was in the cabinet of the school. Until the school got knocked down. They probably knocked it down for the show. I thought you were going to... I mean, no offence, that was a really good achievement, but I thought you were going to say something a bit bigger than that.

The Louvre! The cabinet at the school! Fucking people queue for nine hours to get in! The cabinet at the school! Jesus. People queue nine hours to get in the Louvre. Fucking hell. Do people queue to see your show?

You never know. They might have. Probably queueing for their lunch, but you know, same same. That's really tickled me. I'd love it if it's still there. It's not. The school got knocked down. Probably because of the fucking shoe. Oh, I wonder if the shoe made it. I don't think it did. Oh, well, I love learning things like that about you.

Getting to know you. Getting to know all about you. Getting to like you. Getting to help you like me. Apologize in advance if you just tuned into this episode. We're delirious. This has been a very long day. Oh, right. Okay. Thank you, Gabby, so much.

Yeah, and thank you, Kimberly. Thank you, Kimberly. That's better than my shoe. Yeah, she'll be getting an A-star when she's older. She will. All right, one last message here. It says, hello to my favorite podcast hosts. Thank you.

Thanks. I have a story to share regarding thumb sucking and binkies or as you call them dummies. Dummies. I was a thumb sucker and my parents struggled to get me to stop. I vividly remember one night my mum gave me a new bedtime shirt, one of hers, and she had sewn the ends of the sleeves together to stop me from sucking my thumb. Oh, like she put her in a straight jacket. Straight jacket basically. I thought she was gonna say she gave me one of her old shirts as like a- A comforter. A comforting blanket.

She actually sewed her into a shirt. You won't get away with that these days. That's the end as well. It's not even any follow up explanation. Is it Callie? Callie, are you okay? Callie, are you okay? Callie, are you okay? Blink twice if you need some help. That's the end of the story?

No. Oh, fuck. That's all on that bit. Just that. Okay. Okay, Callie's mum. She says also a tip from my years of babysitting. Okay, you're giving this, you're sharing this as a tip. As advice. I don't think we can do that. I don't think we can do that. She says a tip from my years of babysitting. If you have a little one who cries when the binky falls out in the middle of the night, when the binky falls out in the middle of the night. So their arms together. And it will solve your problem.

Okay. No, she said, if you have one who loses their binky in the middle of the night, put five or more binkies in the crib which is what we did do with Joseph he had about eight dummies at one point that way there are plenty to grab if one falls they even make toys that all I can think about is sewing sleeves together. I'm gonna wet myself. There can't be anything in there you've just been for a wee. I'm gonna wet my... There can't be anything in there, you've just been for a wee. All I can think is... Put five... Put five dummies in there! Can't get them!

Can't pick them up because their sleeves are so thick. Oh my god. Okay, okay. I've got it out now. All right. Literally my wee dribble. Oh, fuck. Oh dear.

Fucking hell, Doris. This is too much. She says they even make toys that attach to the binkies so they don't fall through the crib slats. That is a good tip. That is a really good tip. Thank you, Ness. I hope this is helpful and entertaining. Very entertaining.

Fucking hell. I don't think I've laughed that hard in so long. Thank you. I've generally laughed off my foundation. Fucking hell. That is absolutely. I generally hope you're okay, Callie. I hope you are. So that really gave us a laugh. I hope this is helpful and entertaining. Love from New Jersey, Callie. Callie, you have absolutely made my whole frigging- You've made my week. You've made my week.

You've made my whole frigging month, I think. I don't think anything will top that. Oh dear, that's too good of us. Let's regain some of this back. Yeah. Okay. Let's regain some control. So thank you.

Honestly, thank you all so much for the messages today. I have absolutely been rolling. If you have any comments, thoughts, or fun stories, why not get in touch? Yeah. Email us. Hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mum Pod on TikTok and Instagram. If you've had your arms sewn up by your mum, please get in touch. Next is time for one of your secrets. Let's get started. We get it. Life gets busy.

Luckily, with Peloton Tread, you can still get the challenging workouts you crave. Only have 10 minutes? Take a quick Peloton workout. Want to go all out? Chase down your goals with 20 to 45 minute Tread workouts. No matter your goals or time, Peloton has everything you need to become everything you want. Find your push, find your power. Peloton. Visit onepeloton.ca. Acast powers the world's best podcast. Here's a show that we recommend.

Here's a show that we recommend. Céline Dion. My dream? To be an international star. Could it happen again? Could Céline Dion happen again? I'm Thomas LeBlanc, and Céline Understood is a four-part series from CBC Podcasts and CBC News, where I pieced together the surprising circumstances that helped manufacture Celine Dion, the pop icon. Celine Understood. Available wherever you get your podcasts. Right, welcome back. We love a secret on the Secret Mammal Club.

And you're all so good at sharing. So Emma, what have you got? Right, this comes from Louise in Bedfordshire. Hello Louise. She says, Hi girlies, occasionally on a rainy Sunday when we don't know what else to do we visit show homes. What? That's a bloody brilliant idea. This is phenomenal. I love things like that. We like to pretend we live there and figure out where we put all our things. One Sunday during one of these visits my then five year old announced he needed a poo. We had no other choice but to take off the carefully placed ribbon over the shiny new toilet so that he could do his business. What could go wrong, right? I thought in show homes they were always just like fake ones that weren't plumbed

in. Unfortunately, it wasn't a clean wipe and there was no toilet roll because the toilet wasn't meant for customer use. I had also left the trusted baby wipes in the car. In desperation, we used the decorative towels that were neatly placed in the bathroom. I rinsed the towel, folded it back up, and made a swift exit. Needless to say, we haven't been back to that show home, and I always have wipes in my pocket now.

Louise! I would have just not done the wipe and got in the car, just pulled the pants up. I would have pulled the pants up and just ran. And gone home and just cleaned the skids when you're home. You can't wipe the poo on the bloody show towels. Disgusting! That is a little bit savage.

That is disgusting. Somebody found and had to deal with that. I've once had to wipe my bum with the cardboard. Yes! Or wipe my foofy with the cardboard. I've done a wee with the cardboard before. It's not very absorbent, is it? It's not a fuck, it runs all up your ass.

It just goes everywhere. Yeah. You're better off just shaking it out. Yeah, what's the point? What's the point? What's the point? But the amount of times I've had to wipe my front or my back with the cardboard, not both at the same time.

I don't think I've done, no, don't double dip, that's dangerous. Don't double dip, that is really dangerous for your levels of your putte. I thought you were going to say for your pH, for your levels of your putter. I thought you were gonna say for your pH, for your pussy. Whatever you wanna call it. Yeah, I don't know how I feel about the towel. That's a bit much, isn't it? That's too much. That is too much.

That is a bit too much. But hopefully the pool came out. So not only you shit in the toilet, use the towel, you've put the poop particles in the sink. There's a whole lot going on for me there. A whole lot of cross-cameration there. I wonder if they could flush the toilet, whether it did have water in it,

whether it was just like a dry dump, like that one that someone did in IKEA. No, it wasn't a dry dump because it was more than it needed a wipe. No, but it's in like, was there water down the toilet? Oh yeah, Chris's brother once took a poo in the toilet in a showroom So it must have been wet. No, but it's in like, was there water down the toilet? Oh yeah. Of course his brother once took a poo in the toilet in a showroom, B&Q showroom.

Well, and we had someone that said their child went in Ikea and those ones are just dry, aren't they? Straight up dry. Oh. Straight up dry. And then someone, a worker's gotta come stumble across that. Clean that up. Fucking hell.

But you don't sign up for that when you sign up at Ikea, do you, or B&Q? No, you don't. No, that's not in the job title. Also, when your child is five, because obviously we've only just potty trained Joseph, so I'm expecting the poos and the wheeze, when we're out and about

and having to deal with these situations. When your child's four or five, is that happening very often that they're just announcing they need a poo in the middle of a show home? Or should you be safe to go on a day out? I pretty much know when the babies are gonna go to the toilet. I mind a morning or nights.

Oh right, that's not really when they're out. And plus they don't like pooing anywhere other than their own home really. Colby will do it out occasionally, but Dottie, no, absolutely not. She would never poo anywhere other than her own toilet. That's quite good for you then. She's never been caught short.

No, never been caught short. She's quite a solid gal. Yeah. Probably because she eats so much sugar. She's not very regular. Can't be two, three pureed eight. Is he? Yeah. Well, Jojo's really backed up and I think that's probably because he doesn't eat that much either. But it's been good for the potty training because we kind of know when he's going to go. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Tell you what, he's laid out some big ters though. When they're not squished into a nappy, you realize how big their poos are, don't you? Sometimes they go right down the U bend. Yeah or his is just like a big

pile sometimes. Wow! I think crikey that in a nappy would be wild. Can you also imagine sitting in your poo? Well I actually think he didn't like the feeling of sitting in his poo and so now that he's getting it out and it's like a clean break I think he actually quite enjoys the sensation. Oh, I bet it feels lovely. But I just keep saying to him, doesn't that feel nice not to have a- Pooey stuck to your bum bum.

A hot sticky pooey bum and he's just like, whatever. Yeah, whatever. Whatever, mum. So yeah, I don't know if I'm gonna get on board with that one, Louise. I'm with you on board of the show home. Would I have used the towel? Probably not, but absolutely no discrimination here. You gotta do what girls gotta do. You gotta do what you gotta do, but that is- At least you used the towel? Probably not. But absolutely no discrimination here.

You got to do what girls got to do. You got to do what you got to do, but that is- At least you washed the towel. Yeah. Hopefully you flushed. Yeah. I think respect for trying to wash the towel, actually. Yeah. God bless you.

And I think in the moment, you don't really know what to do. Panic. You panic. Show towel, give it a wipe. Yeah. Off you go. In future, I'll just pull pants up and deal with it when you get home. That's what I would do.

Should that happen to you again, that would be my advice. If there is no other Loo Roll around. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and she's always has the baby wipes with her now. Yeah, she does now. Yeah, she's already equipped now. She's gonna be prepared.

She's ready. I love that he's not hindered her going around showrooms. She's still going back. Not as much. That's okay because now, we just don't ever not have tissues in the pocket. Oh, she's still off to the... We're still doing it.

We're just, we're better prepared now. I love that so much. Yeah, and top tip of what to do on a Sunday. I'm actually gonna do that. Quiet Sunday. Maybe we'll do it together. Yeah. Yeah. I did view a house the other day.

I love looking around houses. I love looking at Rightmove as well. Yeah, me too. Toxic Tray, I look at it all the time. Property porn. Yeah, and I also love looking in America as well. Yeah, you do. See what you can get for your money. Yeah, you do. See what you can get for your money.

Yeah, I do. You get way more bang for your buck out there, don't you? I love it so much. It's phenomenal. It's an enjoyable experience. And when you can get a viewing on them, double bubble. That's an absolute win-win. Open house. Have your sleeves been sewn together so you can't touch your face, suck your thumb or even pick up your own dodo's,

then please do let us know. Do let us know and we'll report your parents. Email us hello at secretmumpod.com or we're Secret Mum Pod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing Tuesday. And we'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club! As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks.

Visit heartandstroke.ca. We get it. Life gets busy. Luckily, with Peloton Tread, you can still get the challenging workouts you crave. Only have 10 minutes? Take a quick Peloton workout. Want to go all out? Chase down your goals with 20 to 45 minute tread workouts. No matter your

goals or time, Peloton has everything you need to become everything you want. Find your push, find your power. Peloton. Visit OnePeloton.ca