Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Sink Sucker

Episode Date: February 3, 2026

Soph and Emma rally around a single mum worrying she’s doing everything wrong, and a listener panicking about the arrival of baby number three. There's an unforgettable beachside poo story, and Chrissy gets caught doing something truly unhygienic. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello. Sorry, again. Hello. Leave all that in. Hello, this is a secret mum club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. Clearly I've got a flemishu.

This podcast is a safe space for mum's everywhere. A safe space to share our secrets. Because we all have secrets, don't we? We do, and as we know, sharing is caring. You don't even have to tell us who you are. You can give that to yourself. You can be anonymous. And all those secrets can be serious or silly.

All secrets are. welcome in the secret mom club. Secrets out, honey. My teeth are done. Well, that's a lie. Well, you've done in 13 weeks. You know what, right? I actually cried coming out of the dentist the other day,

not because I was an excruciating pain. I was. Because I paid to have something done to my teeth. And then I felt so fucking guilty about it. And I just sat in the car and I sobbed. Why? Because I was like, oh, I've paid. And I thought, Girl, Math, if I pay now, when I go and actually have it done,

it'll be free. It'll be free. Grotianer, but I just felt guilt. Why do we feel guilt about spending money on ourselves? Yeah, I do now because I don't have any of my own money. It's so hard, isn't it? Like I got in the car and I was like, fuck, I could have just spent that money on something else? Yeah.

And I've just selfishly gone and spent it on my teeth. So selfish. You don't treat yourself. I feel really selfish. I've got time to cancel though if I change my mind. Are you going to say what it is? Oh, I'm going to have some composite bond. I want that.

But I'm not having veneers and I'm only having. the top four bottom two. You don't even is. You've got great teeth. Got another one coming up. I'm very burpy. I'm sorry. No, I'm joking. I'm kidding. But do you want a reveal of the teeth? Yes. So I've got my old retainers in. Yeah. So there's a bit of a process now. So I've straightened my teeth for 26 weeks. Can you believe it's been 26 weeks? Oh, two lots of 13. Two lots of 13. Yes. So 13 trays, but I had to wear them for two weeks. That's 26 weeks. Yeah. I've worn them. I've had the little nubbins taken off because I think what people don't understand with Envisaline is basically they put acrylic blocks on your teeth

so that does the same as the metal ones that pull your teeth apart. Yeah. Or straighten your teeth, sorry. So the acrylic blocks are basically the same. Yeah. But you have the retainers where you take them in and out. So I've had all my blocks removed. I've now on the whitening journey.

They look really white. Because I've got, I'm only on day two. How many days have you got? I've got to have two weeks. They're going to be blinding. Blind about that. I want to be of Ross and friends, you know. Yeah.

That's how I want to be. So I've got to whiten them for two weeks, and then I'm back on the second of February to have my composite done. Yeah. Then I'm having my wires fitted. Oh, you're going to have instead of a retainer? I'm going to have a retainer as well. I'm going to double bubble.

I haven't come this far and done this fucking twice. You're taking no risks. Taking no risks. So the next appointment, I have my composite bonding, have my wire fitted. Then they'll take the impressions of my teeth with the new composite bond in to the new shape of my teeth and the wires in that. the retainer? To make them make the retainer. What do they do with composite bonding?

It's like they put things between your teeth to make the like... No, they like build the teeth out and then shave it. So you can get composite veneers, which covers your whole teeth. Yeah. But this I'm only having the... Should I take them off and show you? Yeah. Are you ready for this?

Ready for the spirit? Echramar. Although it doesn't really sound of anything now that my bobbins are off. No. Zoom in on it. Is it easier to get them in and out now? Yeah. Yeah.

Just put them on there. Nice. Are you ready? Yeah. Three, two, one. Whoa! Couldn't shade that! It looks so good.

I actually feel really naked. I feel slimy. I feel like I've taken my bra off. Do you keep putting your tongue on your teeth? It's actually a little bit of a sensory overload for me. Only because I haven't really felt my teeth for half a year. Well, at least you can take them out. Do you remember the feeling when you got your train tracks off?

It was such a weird feeling. Don't do that. It was so weird to feel like a smooth tooth. that didn't have like metal on it. Do you remember that? Also, I feel like they're very... What? Like, they look very blocky.

Do you think they look blocky? They're going to look even more blocky when you've got composite because they're going to make them more square. I mean like the shape of them. It's just like, yeah, straight. But I'm going to have these ones straightened out at the top here

and I've got a massive gap here. You'll see it? Yeah. Did they shave between your teeth? Yeah. That's the worst bit, isn't it? Even the thought of it makes my toes curl. Why are you putting a sanders?

nail file between. Yeah, I know. That's the worst bit of getting Invisaline. And then I'm having the front four teeth. Are you only getting the front four? Yeah. Front four blocked out shape. He wants to keep the natural shape of my other teeth.

And I think the more natural. Yeah, you've got a nice shape teeth. I wouldn't change them too much. So there they are. Yeah, they look great. Thank you. Yeah, no more. I feel so great.

I feel really great. Do you feel like you just want to show them off all the time? Yeah, but I'm also too fucking scared not to wear my retainers. Yeah, I am as well. This is a long journey. I still wear mine and they are hanging. Do you not have them remade? No.

I've paid for like two new sets. No, sorry. I've paid for, in a set you get three. Oh, do you? I've paid for two new sets. So that's six. Yeah. Since I finished getting it down, which it was about three and a half years ago.

Wow. Gross. That is. I do have a retainer cleaner, would recommend. Like a dishwasher for your attack I've seen them Zima dental one I paid for it but

Send us one if you want Send us a Vina one Yeah but I'm rubbish at remembering to do it So But yeah That's where I've been at this week I've been teeth in So I went for a hygienist

Before I had the bubbles The acrylic blocks removed I went to that That was a little bit painful I'm not going to lie to you And then I've got a massive ulcer in my mouth I'm very I don't know what's going on I feel like there's a lot in life going on that's making me a little bit run down.

And I've had a lot of soreness in my mouth. I've been to the doctors quite a bit. And there's just a whole amalgamation this week of shit on top of shit. A lot in and around the mouth. But you look at my teeth. But you look great. I made me fucking shattered, tired. It's got really sensitive tea.

Yeah, are they so sensitive. I can't do whitening because my teeth are so sensitive. Walking from the train station. In the wind. This morning. I was like, yeah. I remember that. On a windy day, you're like, oh.

Oh God, this is so soul. You don't want to smile. People are like, are you all right? Oh, God, I can't. No, it's painful, isn't it? Get on the Sensorine, honey. I know, I've got some. Actually, Codgate sensitive, the dentist gave that to me.

Oh, really? Yeah. Sensadine does really work again. What is wrong with us today? I don't think you mentioned a brand name. Very happy today. But it really does work. It really does work.

Should you talk about B.B? It's been a wild week. Honestly, it's kept me going because I have, you know, I've had a lot going on this week. It's been a whole ordeal but the most important thing this week which, may I add,

this is recorded two weeks after. Yeah. Well, this is recorded a couple of days after but it'll be going out. Coming out. So we're probably, loads of probably happens since now. Two weeks.

Yeah. Two weeks after the actual statements. I wonder whether the family are going to come out with a statement. I don't know if they're going to come back. So basically what's, happened at this present time is Brooklyn Beckham. If you've been living under a rock.

Has basically gone to the media on Instagram with some stories about his estranged relationship with his mum and dad. And how they've tried to control him. And how they've tried to control him. We haven't at this time had a statement from Victoria or David. Yeah. I don't think they're going to come out and say much. I think they'll just be like...

I feel like the nation is very divided though. We're also very divided. We've got team Brooklyn or we've got team Victoria. And my Instagram is very divided. Yeah, I would say mine is. I would say mine is. There's a lot of people saying you shouldn't talk about it because this is someone's family

and this is what they're going through. I think that is true. Which I do find an element of that. It is really sad. Like no one wants to fall out with their child. Like the thought of having that written about you is devastating. And nobody wants anybody talking about their family, do they? You can't live such a public life

and build your brand and your business and your everything on brand Beckham and live so publicly without things like this happening. And I feel like it's really sad because you can see it from both sides of the, or I see it from both sides. Brooklyn is obviously gone to the media to put this out there. Do I think he knows the severity of what he's done? No, I don't maybe think he does.

But I also do believe that's all he knows. He's always been put in the media or in the press since a young boy and growing up his whole life has been in the media. I also think it's probably got to a point where like, because obviously they're being like... And I wonder if he's not being heard. I wonder if he's not being listened to. So his whole point is to go to the media or go to Instagram, social media, and put it out there for someone to actually maybe listen to him. It's hard because his stories, bless his heart, was a little bit contradicting, wasn't it?

He doesn't want to, he doesn't want to give up his Beckham name, but he also wants privacy and peace and happiness with his wife. It's Prince Harry 2.0, isn't it? Yeah, I do feel like it's that a bit. And you feel bad. I feel bad sitting here talking about it, but you also, you feel like. sad for them. You feel sad if something I was going through and people were able to lend a hand, obviously not to this severity, because this is crazy, isn't it? But it's hard knowing from Victoria's side, you know, did she have just too many Vino's and just wanted a dance with

her first baby who's got married, the first baby that's got married. Yeah, but imagine your son saying about you that you were like embarrassing and inappropriate. And again, are we at the point there, do we need to see the video? Is she going to show us the video to validate herself? There were 500 people at the wedding. There must be people that can verify that story. You know? There must be video. I felt sad about the dress. Like the dress that he said about the dress. Again, there's some things about coming out about that that may not be.

But then there was also the story about the dress took a year, 11 months to make. But I think there was animosity around the dress situation. So I don't know if she had it as a backup or whether it was a second dress. Yeah, a few people have said about that because he was like, oh my mom left her like scrambling for a dress at the 11th hour. But then everyone else was saying she was making it with Valentino for a year. So yeah.

What I don't buy into is the narrative that like, and people do this with Megan and Harry as well, seeing quite a few people being like, Nicola wrote those stories and like Nicola is controlling the narrative and like Brooklyn had nothing to do with it. People said that about Megan and Harry as well and I was like, why can't people just make men take accountability? Like, he wrote it.

But we're never going to, yeah, but the thing is we're never going to know. We'll never will know for sure. What does it matter? But it annoysmen people's immediate thing is to be like, blame the wife. Blame the wife, they're being controlled. She's stolen from his mother. Yeah. She took him out of her mess.

Sorry, just got a little bit of, um... These men. Coldness on my teeth then. Growing up, stop breathing, airing. I'm just talking like this for the whole... Anyway, it's fascinating. It is, and I feel really, really sad. And I feel sad.

He obviously said about his dad's birthday as well, didn't he either? He was, they flew out to Alley and they didn't allow him any time with them. There's obviously stuff that's come out where people have asked Brooklyn, David, how do you feel about Brooklyn's stories? And he just, just ignores them. there's a lot, isn't there? There's a lot behind it. And I just think it's hard because as much as it shouldn't have been taken to the media,

it definitely shouldn't, but their whole life has been in the media. Victoria very much has a public beauty brand, clothing brand, everything's on the media. They've had their documentary, you know, Beckham's got a lot, it's known for all of this. The children are out doing stuff all in the media. So their whole life is in the media. So I think the only way to get any resolution maybe for him is to just, It's all they know.

But also I think like he might have been driven to this point because they've obviously been feuding for like a long time, haven't they? Yeah, it has been like going to family events and stuff. And people have been like speculating like, what's going on with Brooklyn and the rest of the beckons? He probably just got to a point where he was like... Did he go to Ramsey's wedding? I don't know. I don't think he went to Gordon Ramsey's daughter's wedding. That was controversial as well though, wasn't it?

Was it? Because her husband's mum wasn't invited? Her husband's mum. Wasn't invited? Yeah. What's the husband's name? Gordon Ramsey's daughter's husband. Adam Petey's mum's side of the family weren't invited to weddings.

That was all a whole other big scandal as well. But I think Brooklyn maybe was like, I just want to get my side out there. There's been so much speculation for so long. He probably just thought, I'm just going to put my side of the story across. And obviously it's blown up. It has blown up.

And I think people will be like, their celebrities is more important things going on in the world, which clearly there are. But I think to have something like this from such a famous family that have been in the public eye for so long, in this country and around the world, it's just like unheard of and that's why it's such massive news.

Like obviously, yeah, at the end of the day, like it's not. There's a lot of things that I've watched recently, a lot of documentaries and stuff you've seen, you know, not just here, but like in America. And there's things that you, without talking about it, but we all know what I'm talking about, is that money cannot save you. There is gets to a point where money will no longer help you.

And I sometimes think that there's a lot, behind the scenes that we don't see. Yes, it shouldn't be in the media, but I also do believe there's a lot of things that are hidden. Look at, i.e., the documentary that came, well, it wasn't a documentary, was actually real life, about Colleen Rooney. And that woman did not back down.

She fought her fucking ass off. Wag of a Christi. Yeah, Wagher for Christi. That was phenomenal. Phenomenal. How inspirational to watch that. And yes, this is, but it's hard. You're in a Catch 22. You don't want to read it, do you?

But you do want to read it? Because like you said, it's been around. It's massive. Our whole life. Yeah. Our whole life has been the Beckhams. Yeah. From Spice Girls to him play for Manchester United, from World Cups, to them having the children.

And that's it. It is massive. It's hard to like for people to like remember or believe how huge they were. And it was when there weren't as many celebrities. Like there's loads of famous people now because it's easier to be famous. But it's they just. I just think I'm scared of what happens behind that we don't know about. There's so much we don't know about.

Yeah. Which is scary, isn't it right? We'll never know the full truth. But I just think it's fascinating the way that he's gone about it. I'm intrigued to know how it goes forward. Like I'm intrigued to know if it will he apologize? Will he correct? I was going to say correct himself if he's not wrong and what he's saying.

You know, I just, I am intrigued as to how this will play out now because this is, this is huge, isn't it? It is massive. Yeah. And people are going to talk about it. Just very, very, very sad. And it's hard. You don't want to. you don't want to take a side.

I feel like I can see it from both angles, you know, but there is a lot of people that are fully Vicky B. Yeah. And fully Brooklyn. What do they say? There's three sides to every story. Their side, her side and the truth. And we're never going to know that one, are we?

No. We're never going to know that one. But yeah, well, that's basically consumed our whole week. Yeah. Did you do anything else? No. Just sat waiting for any updates. Are you watching traitors?

No. Oh, okay, no. No. That and traitors. It's been. Everybody's on traitors. I just don't know if I want to get there. You need to.

I don't know. I need something to talk about. But I asked you to watch my documentary. My film, have you watched it? No, none of you in this room have watched it. I haven't got time. Rosie hasn't watched it. Mads hasn't watched it.

You haven't watched it. Was it a documentary? It's just six series. A drama? A series. A drama or a documentary? You needed to watch it. His and hers.

I told you to watch it. Drama or a thriller? Paul has seen it. And you are phenomenal. Rater out of 10. What did you give it at 10? Oh! I would have given it.

A thousand out of 10. Brilliant. Loved it. I haven't got time. If you haven't watched it, watch his and hers on Netflix. Come back. Let me know your thoughts.

How you... It's just incredible. I'll watch it this week. And if you can't watch that, then I can't watch Traitors. You know, just say it. Traders is long as well, isn't it? Don't blackmail me.

It's really long, isn't it? Traders. Well, what I love about it is that it's appointment to view television. So everyone's watching it, having to watch it when it goes out on a Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. And I love that.

I love actually waiting for something to be on TV. No, I need it all now. No, everyone is watching at the same time. The anticipation, the excitement. It's like watching telly in the old days. You can't just get it all at once. No, I love that. No, I'm the new age.

That's what makes it different. I'm the new age galley. I need everything in my possession. Well, between traitors, secret lives of Mormon wives, which I'm still catching up on and the Brooklyn Beckham memes. I haven't got time to watch anything else. I haven't got any time. No.

I went to watch Hijack the other day, but they're releasing an episode a week. Highjack is Idris Alba on Apple TV. Is it about a plane crash? Yeah, the first one was. You don't need to watch that. The second one, though, I'm a little bit dubious to watch it because it is about a train. Oh, no, you can't rule out another mode of transport. You never be able to get anywhere.

And you know, your gal struggles with the underground. Are you going to go on the Eurostar? Oh, it's the underground. It's on the underground. Oh, no. Bloody hell. But I can only watch an episode a week. So I'm trying really hard not to watch it so that I can have them all in one go.

Yeah. Because I'm a binger. I'll binge it all in one night. Oh, they're releasing them weekly? Yeah. Yeah. And I like it when they do that. No.

I haven't got time to wait. No. Got a life to be living. I've got Victoria Beckham to be watching and David. He's very quiet over there, isn't he? What did he do at the wedding is what I want to know? David. Did he not film it? Like, oh, look at this lovely interaction. There must be a video somewhere.

I really hope it's something like, they film everything and he think they haven't got a wedding. My neck, my back, my pussy and my crick. First you got to put your neck into, and I really hope she was just slup dropping. Please, can you do one? That will go viral. I feel like that is a little bit. Damn, you roll your tongue from the... Bank up to, this is what you do, Nicolat. I can't.

I just really, I want to see it, but I don't, you know. No, I want to see it. I want to see it. I want to know what they're doing, but I don't actually want to watch it. Yeah. Cover your eyes. Yeah. Oh, God. I'd love it.

If someone comes out with that video, there won't be anybody. They've got NDAs. Do you think they've signed an NDA? Yeah, but it was a few years ago, wasn't it? Oh, 2022, I think they got married. They did get married in 2020. Four years. It's been a long time, bless them.

Can they not just enjoy their marriage? I know. He's just cooking, isn't he bless his little are. That's why they said they renewed their vows, wasn't it? Because he was like, my actual wedding was ruined. So I had to renew my vows. He said they want to renew them. They've done it, haven't they?

No. I thought they did it because then everyone was like, yeah, they did it. Because everyone was like, oh, your marriage is in trouble already. But he said the reason we did it is because my original wedding was ruined. Wow, you are really in with it, aren't you? Funny. I feel like I know them. That's that weird.

It's a parasocial relationship. But yes, other than that, it's been a steady week for me this week. Yeah, just the normal week. Yes. Obviously, Embers still. so poorly. Yeah, still not good. Yeah, it's still not good at all and try my best to just support Roxanne and James because it's a really difficult time. No one really knows how to help her or what to do, but you're just trying to pull together, aren't you, to support her the best the way that you

can. And when I say she's poorly, she is poorly, but she's still able to talk. We just can't, she just can't move very much and she's not able to go to school at the moment. She's missing out on a lot of things. She's missing out like mentally on like school and having her interaction with her friends because she can only text them. And then obviously Roxanne's not at work. She's at home. So the whole dynamic of their house has changed. So it's a whole different ordeal for them.

Like I feel like when you, the children get bigger, you're not really knowing like what the next steps are to do. So I feel like this is a new stage for Roxanne to go through. So she's trying to navigate. And I'm trying to just support her to make sure that she's okay. So yeah, it's just a whole, the whole lot of stuff is going on. Blesser. Sadie came out of nursery with huge news yesterday.

Did she tell you? They were like, she didn't have a dummy all day. And I was like, not even for her nap. And they were like, no. No. That baby went down to sleep without a dummy. She must have been fucking well exhausted. I was like, are you?

I said, did she cry? She was like, no, she was like babbling away to herself. And then just nodded off. Noted off in a room with obviously like all the other babies. I said, right, this is some kind of witchcraft. I said, because she's never going to do that for me at home. I was like, I looked into that girl's eyes. I said, what do you do?

Tell me. give me all the tricks. And then that night I thought, oh my God. Because we used to put, we had seven dummies in her cot so she could always just grab one in the night. Mystery dummy thief in our house. We're now down to three dummies. Wow.

I need to buy some more. But it makes the night it's really hard because she's less likely to find one in her sleep. So she's been waking up a bit more and being like, dummy, where are you? So that's been annoying. But I was like, oh, maybe if she's going off the dummy, we don't need those three dummies. You can just like scrap them. If she starts to sleep without them, that'll be amazing. Because that's the only thing she wakes up for is to have the dummy put back in.

Because the room is dark. Sometimes she can't find it in her sleep. So I was like, oh my God, this would be amazing. So this was last night. So last night I went to bed with such high hopes. I was like, if she's fallen asleep today without a dummy for the first time ever, maybe tonight, she'll get through the night and just be like, oh, I'll just settle myself. Yeah.

No. It didn't fucking work. No. It was actually one of the worst nights we've ever had. She saw you talking to the nursery teacher and thought, fuck you. Yeah. She was listening in and she thought, you know what? I'm going to fuck you up tonight.

You think you're going to take the hints and tricks from this woman. You've got to be fucking kidding. I thought, I'm going to have a really good sleep before my early train tomorrow. Never, honey. She was up between about two and five. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Do you know, Renli actually takes his tiny little pillow, which is a really pointless pillow from IKEA.

But it's a really tiny cot pillow. And he puts them under his pillow. So then when he wakes up in the middle night, you see him on the camera. He just lives up his dummy. He gets it. Yeah. Really smart. Yeah.

Also, did you have glow in the dark ones? Yes. So I always leave the glow in the dark, man ones, yeah. Always in her cot though. They're always in her room. Maybe one will take out for the day with us. And then I was like, why is she not? You do know the glowing goes out.

Right. I said, why is she not finding them? And then I like read the packet on a new box and it was like, must leave them in the sun to charge up their like glow in the dark. They never see the light of day. So I was like, oh, they've stopped glowing those damas. And I honestly can't find them. I'm not using them right.

You're silly, silly, silly sausage. You can sometimes also run them in hot water. This is two years in. And they glow. Ah, two years in. God bless you. Two years of sleepless nights. God.

Can you imagine it? That was the only thing. It would have worked had you just done that. Two years you've tormented yourself. If you were using the dummies properly. Yeah. You'd be fine. Yeah.

Wow. What a silly sausage. What do you just expect them to glow all the time? You do? Yeah. Like the stickers in your bedroom when you were younger. They need the light to work. Didn't know that.

Okay. I thought they just glowed forever. Okay. Science. You do not like a snappy glow stick as well. They run out? You don't, they're not forever. Oh, right.

Yeah. They lose their glowing. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Just so you know. Good to know. It sounds like we've had a really riveting week.

Honestly, when I tell you, we are L-I-V-I-N up in this joint. Well, seriously, if that was the end of the dummy, that would have been really massive news. Oh, of course. But we're back where we were. Of course, but that's what we've got to bring to the table today is that Saly nearly cracked. You gave up a dummy, and I'm falling to pieces. Yeah. So, mentally and physically.

Oh, gosh. But Emma and I, really want to hear from you. Yes, we want you to join us in the Secret Mum Club. You're all welcome. You can share your secrets with us, respond to what we've been talking about or just say hello.

You can find us on TikTok and Instagram. Just search SecretMumPod, or you can email us hello at secretmumpod.com. It's time for the Correspondence Corner. Chishda-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-d-d-w. Wow. So, Emma, let's hear today's correspondence corner. Okay, this one is a follow-up.

Oh, from Lauren, who got in touch back in October about having a Christmas baby. We had so many about having Christmas babies. I actually can't remember. Can you know which one this is? It says, hey ladies, I emailed previously as my first baby wish deal on the 21st of December. I wanted to get back in touch to let you know that Evie arrived on the 23rd and we even made it back home in time for Christmas. She's absolutely bloody fabulous and I feel so lucky. Oh my gosh.

There's a pic. Is there? Do you want to have a quick look? I do, I do. Oh, look all that hair. Evie, honey, you knew the drill. You thought Mama needs a Christmas prosceco. Two days old on Christmas Day.

That is delicious, isn't it? She says one thing. Honestly, when people were wrapping their babies at Christmas in wrapping paper and was like, this is the gift I'm giving my family this Christmas, just these newborn babies in wrapping paper. Oh, my gosh. Oh, God, no, get them out of the wrapping paper and into a cosy baby grow. Oh, they were in a baby grow.

They just had a little bit of wrapping paper. A little bow. Like a little burrito. Yeah. She says one thing that completely took me by surprise was the baby blues that hit around day three. So for her, that was Boxing Day. Boxing day, yeah.

I fully expected to be wrapped up in a cozy baby bubble of bliss. But instead I was crying constantly, feeling overwhelmed and questioning every life choice I'd ever made. I'm three weeks in now. I'm feeling much better, but I'm honestly shocked at how little the baby blues are talked about when they're actually so normal. I was terrified that those feelings meant I didn't love my baby

or that I wasn't cut out to be a mum. Thankfully, they passed around day. 10. Love to you all, Lauren. Lauren. So normal Lauren. So, yeah. And I 100% think she's right that it's not talked about. No. It's that thing like you're expected to give birth

to your baby and you're expected to just love them instantly and you're expected to just fill a million dollars and your baby's the best thing since I think. Go home and just feed them. And get back in your jeans and you sleep and you feed and you sleep and you feed and you sleep when the baby's sleeping. That's the most

barbaric thing anybody ever told me was sleep when the baby's sleeping. You fucking joking. I've got bottles to be sterilised and I've got my boobs are leaking. I'm trying to defrost my fucking cabbage. Trying to have a poo. Trying to have a poo but I can't because I've got too many fucking piles in my ass. My hormones are fucking rocketed up to space.

I think I'm as high as a fucking Kai. I'm wearing a nappy myself while changing my own nappy and a baby's nappy. You're just so far from what this idyllic image is or maybe really what is portrayed on the telly because you watch things on the telly, don't you? And girls go home and they have the baby then just put their jeans straight back on and you're like, I couldn't think of anything worse of putting a pair of jeans on after I'd give them birth. I didn't wear anything but pyjama buttons. Pajamas or leggings? Two months. I lived in them. Pajamas and leggings are lived in them. But it's just not talked about. But I remember hearing like about the baby blues.

I'd heard the term baby blues and my mum always said to me, oh, when your milk comes in, people who say, when your milk comes in, you'll get emotional. And when you have your first baby, you're like, what does that mean? And you wait. When does that happen? What does that feel like? What do you mean? It's like you've got an imaginary tick list and you're taken in all of this information that

everybody's told you and you're waiting for it to happen. You're waiting. Oh, well, why is my baby not doing this and why are they not doing that? And then you've got this expectation list in your head that you're meant to be hitting or your baby's meant to be hitting. And then, in fact, you just got so consumed in the whole process of it. Then you look back and then you regret it because no one actually says in the moment that everybody's journey with their baby at the start is very, very different.

And also, when people say to me, what's the best advice you can give? It's just live in that moment. Just live in that moment. Don't have any expectations. If you don't want anybody around, don't have them around. If you want to sit in your pajamas, sit in your pajamas, if you don't bathe, don't bathe. Everything in that first minimum four weeks, you should just be doing for yourself. And having a baby at Christmas, like I know we've been saying like how lovely, but the likelihood is you're going to have visitors.

You might have like places to go. People are off work. Because people will be like, I'll pop in and see the baby on day two or day three. I'd be like, no. Also it's germ central. You don't want no one fucking round. And it's winter. So everyone's got a cold anyway.

Like, oh, I don't know. That fills me with anxiety. And the blues I think hit me. I had blues with all three of them in the sense of that I really struggled with the not feeling the baby. So I didn't feel the kicks anymore. And then also no one really tells you about phantom. Yeah. The phantom contractions that you get, which I'm.

may add that I had at least up until Dotty was five after having Dotty. I'd get contractions and it just is the, it's this thing that no one ever talks about. And you get these like phantom kicks, don't you in your tummy? And you're like, instantly like what wakes me up in the middle of the night that I'm like, oh my gosh. Oh, no. Yeah.

Or when you can't feel them anymore and you then don't sleep because your mind has a way of playing tricks on you because you're like, well, I can't feel the baby. The best thing I can do is just sit here and watch them sleep. for hours and hours and their chest going up and down and up and down. And you are crazy. You are crazy in that moment that your hormones are all over the place. You're not yourself. You've got so much going on with your body.

Yeah. Now you can't feel your baby moving and wriggling. Yeah. And you have just got to get on with that. Like it's, oh well, yeah, just get on with it. That's the way it goes. But I think I struggled most with Rens, I think, because he was in NICU. Yeah.

So the fact of, again, like I always say, I don't know how people deal with, you know, babies that are in NICU for a really long time. and they have to go home because they don't have the capacity to hold them on the ward and they have to go home and sleep in their house knowing that their baby just isn't downstairs or just in the next room or just you can't just walk there and you know you know touch them that that was really hard so I really struggled with the baby blue's after renters but I felt very very very lucky that I could just go downstairs yeah I went downstairs and I sat with him you know and I could just watch but not everybody has that so it is something.

something that isn't spoken about. No, it's not. But also something that I want to say is really normal. And no one should ever fear that. I don't want anyone to fear that feeling because that is really normal. And it is really normal not to just instantly love your baby. Yeah. And just be happy all the time.

It's a really weird thing to reconcile because like you feel like, oh my God, I love this baby so much. And I'm so happy. And you're like, why am I crying all the time? So confusing. It's really hard, isn't it? And there's nothing that I could sit here and say that anything is going to make that better. Do I think that ever goes away?

No, I still sit and cry now. Like I look at pictures. Do you know what? It's a weird thing and I don't think I've ever talked about it. But I really struggle looking at pictures of Renley like when he was new, like I was going to say, I will say, Dottie can't look at pictures of him. Really?

When he was first born? She just balls her eyes out. She just can't. I just can't look at him. He just looks like he's in so much pain. It doesn't look like him, does it? No. And I think I really struggle.

I think there's there's something in that that is well, that when people do have maybe a tougher start to motherhood or maybe didn't have that picture perfect, instant love with their baby, that there is people out there that do look back at the first moments. And I don't recognise myself. And I think I'm with 99% of the population of women having babies that you look back and you think, oh, fucking I've come so far.

Like, God, I don't recognise myself. Or there was a moment you look at pictures and you're, you just think, I'm sad because in that moment, I was just so lost and I was so scared and so frightened. And there's always like pictures that I look back. And even pictures of Colby, I look back and I just, I was just, I was so lost and so scared. I had no one to talk to and I just felt like no one understood. But isn't it mad that like, you look back and go like, oh my God, I don't even remember being in that moment. But at the time, you were like doing all the things, feeding the baby, waking up in the night. Just do it like getting by day to day.

you're still doing it all. But when you look back, you're like, I can't even remember that. I can't even remember how I did that. Such a blur. Yeah. But yeah, it's a crazy time. It is a really, really crazy. And I want to say it's completely normal.

It's completely normal to feel the way you feel and be emotional and not instantly just. And I think as well, as well, as I do feel like the longer time passes. So now if you were to bump into a lady in the shop, maybe she's an older lady. and she's got great grandchildren now and she says, oh, the moment I had them, I instantly loved them. But I feel like with anything in life that you only remember the good things from them.

Yeah, even my mum, she's like, oh, I can't really like remember. Like people just... So when people are telling you their experiences and they're like, oh, you're going to love it. The moment you meet that baby, everything will be perfect. And then that's all that's integrated into your brain that when you actually do meet the baby

and you're like, oh, fuck and I know, I don't know if I'm not. love them. I don't know whether I... But even we do that. Like even our minds do that. That's why people have more babies because you forget about all the hard bits. Like when I was in the trenches with Sadie and like feeding was so painful and I was like crying every latch and I was leaking everywhere. I was like, I'm never doing this again. Now that she's too, I was like, I love another new one. I'd love another new phone baby. You do forget. You only want to remember the good that you only want to remember the good things. But I'm just so, so relieved she's here and so glad that

you're feeling, you're feeling better. And again, even now, it's still. feel so early. Oh, it's so early, so early days for you. So keep looking after yourself and keep talking. I feel like it's the best thing you can do is keep talking. And for somebody that says, oh, I don't know how your feet off. Just tell them to. In the poloest way possible.

Oh, Laurie. Congratulations. She is an absolute little gem. Look at her. What a dream. So beautiful. I can't even with all of her hair. So much hair.

So much hair. Little E.V. So you can get in touch with us on anything at all. Yeah, it can be serious or silly. And you can be totally anonymous. Because between us, we've probably heard it all before. And remember, we're all in this together. And we know that we are.

We're all stars and we see that. Oh, a coral version. Run out of air. I thought it was going to pass out. I ran out of air. I did have it. How are people doing that trend where they count to 100 on one breath? No.

Has anybody seen this? They literally go 1, 2, 4, 5, 6,8, 9, 11, 12th, 45, 17, 19, 22, 19, 22, 19, 21, 9, 2,000, 5,000, 5, 6,000, 8,000,000, 40,000, 5, 5, 5, 5, 6,000, 50, 5, 5, 5, 5, 6, 50, 70, 60, I'm out. 60, though, God, that's good, I thought I was going to get to like 10. Does that mean we've got really shit lung capacity? Yeah, oh, great. Mine's pathetic.

Add it to the list. Right, are you ready for my secret this week? Yes. Like I said, it's been a wild week this week. And you know how crazy my children are with ripping their teeth out? Oh, I thought it was only Dottie, but do they all do it? No, no, they both do it. Both are obviously not renners.

Oh, yeah, no, I say it all. He's not doing it yet, is it? Chrissy the cheeky bastard. No, I'm joking. They both of mine have no fear whatsoever in ripping their teeth out. And the moment, when I tell you, there's a moment of a little lip in the tooth, once there's a little lip in it and it's got a slight, slight wiggle, them children are ripping them out.

So the other night, Colby was up in his bedroom. He come in and he was like, Mum, I've got a really, he's been out with football with Chris down at the Saints game. He'd come back and he said, I got a wobbly tooth. So he said, Dad told me not to touch it, so I'm just going to leave it to do its own thing. So I was like, right, okay then. Next thing he was down to Tasty is like, it's getting really wobbly now.

I've been touching it. I'm sorry. I think I'm going to pull it out. And I was like, okay, go upstairs. If you want to pull it out, pull it out. If not, we'll pick it up in the morning. He'd come darting down the stairs. He was like, I've pulled my, he had tissue in his mouth. He's like, pull my tooth out.

I was like, oh, okay, brilliant. He was like, down the plug-all. No, he dropped it. He dropped it down the plug-off. But I will say, right, there was a situation over Christmas. And if you've got little people around, please remove them. Because this is, I'm going to talk from the room or turn this off. So over Christmas, right, we were doing a game with our family where we outed a secret.

probably not the best game to play with the younger children but definitely with the older children so there were some questions that come up that you had to answer to like how do you feel that Santa isn't real and you're like oh no

well I'm actually devastated what do you mean he's not real you know they're sort of question so then it kind of evolved in Colby to in his humorous state when well I know that the two fairy isn't real because there was one time

dad come in my room with a tenor and he thought I was asleep and he creeped over to my pillow and I just had to pay and pretend that I was asleep because he would have known that I'd known that he was the tooth fairy and he slid the tooth out and he put the money under my pillow

and to this day he doesn't know so I was like oh right so he was like you need to get my tooth out of the plug hole otherwise how would the tooth fairy deliver any money to me and I went hmm do you remember our conversation at Christmas where you said you don't believe in the two fairy obviously there's going to be no money now that you know

you're the insider, you're in the crew. How are you? And he was like, no, I don't believe. I was only joking. I was making it up. You can't back track now, mate. I said, you can't get back. And he was like, please, mum, you've got to do anything.

Well, that was it. I was down with tweezers. We were trying to get tweezers in there. Chris had a straw down the sink. Oh, no. Trying to suck the tooth. Was it a big tooth? It was a big mola.

A mola. A mola. Trying to suck. I kid you not, 40 minutes he spent trying to suck a tooth out of the tooth out of the tooth. of the sink in a straw. Listen, honey, I'm a clean galley. I'm a clean galley. Yeah, but you can't.

So Chris come down to test and I've actually felt like I've got hickies on the inside of my mouth. I've been sucking so hard and I can't get this too far. I said to you do know I just unscrew the bottom of the sink to clean the inside of this. Yeah, to clean the inside of the sink. You are taking the piss. I was like, no, we've got the sinks. There's traps on our sink. So our sinks, when you unplug them, basically there's a trap on it.

So that if you do drop anything down it, you can basically just unplug it, pull it out. Tell me you can do that. And what? And it's not going to like flood. No, it doesn't flood. Because it's an empty, it's an empty trap. So can I do that to mine? Well, no.

It depends on what like brand of sync. But our sinks have, have them. So you just basically pull it out. You can pull the tooth off and put it in. So within two seconds, I retrieved it. I shit you not. Chris was like this all night. And I was like, well, there you go.

That's what happens when you suck for far too long in life. So yeah, Chris, we're to. I love that you were the only person that knew that. Yeah. Like in my house. I thought, what the fuck is he doing? He must be consoling him up there about his loss of his tooth or trying to stop him from bleeding.

Took a straw and tried to suck it out of the sink. And I was like, you do know, like, there's blood on that. If you sucked all of the juice of his tooth into your mouth? But even, like, sucking up, like, the residue in a sink where people have, like, spat their tooth face. It just made me laugh that he'd committed so much to the cause of sucking it up through a straw from the plug hole. I'd be like, son, you knew it was me last time, so this is it now. So now I did put the pillow. the two under the pillow

and I said two pound and he'd come down in the kitchen he was like did I only get two pound because I know yes yes mate you were generous to do two pounds to be fair

do you want to know what happened the next day he fucking pulled another one out and he goes don't worry I didn't drop this one down the plug hole so he's lost two mowler did he get another two quid

yeah I got another two pound yeah I added that one to his go Henry account I didn't give it to him cash I just left him a note and said listen I've put credit on your Henry card

yeah no one's got cash these days no I And then Cobby, Dotty went, oh, how much money did you get Colby? He looked to me over the kitchen. He was like, two pound is what I got. And I was like, you couldn't have been any more suspicious if you try. I literally just put a note under his pillow and said, I put two pound and you go, Henry Card. Spend wisely.

Love mum. He was like, that's pretty cool, mum. I can't believe he was going to get a tenor before. That's so generous. Well, for a big two. Yeah. But then who has cash nowadays? If you've got a chip and pin, mate, I'll just...

Yeah, you got a card reader. Apple pay you are. Yeah. Got contactless. Do you take contactless? I think by the time my children's teeth fall out, they probably will have a card reader. I think it's going to be a dying death though of the tooth fairy, isn't it? I think it is a bit of a piss take, to be on it.

It's 10 pound per tooth, be skin. Not all of them are 10 pounds, but on the occasions that I had nothing else in the house and I didn't want to kill the dream. I had to whack him a ten up. I thought, you can have two pee. And I just said, you know, this is forward credit for the next chel loose. Yeah. It's like a business at this point.

They're pulling them out on purpose because they know they're going to get money. I think, I said this to Colby. He's only got two baby teeth left. There's no way he's lost two teeth on two consecutive days. Something smells fishy here. The plug-all where Chris just sucked the tooth out of. Chris will tell you. That is rank, Chris.

That is a rank, rank. Oh, damn pizza dick. It's just sucking drains. Teeth out of drains, actually, I will add. What a fucking life. Teeth sucker will have to call in from now on. Teeth sucker. So if you ever need to return.

tree for tooth out of your plug-old. Cool, soap, not correct. I would say don't use a straw. Also, not everyone has the same drain, do they? Yeah, don't go taking your drains apart. Yeah, don't be taking that drains. Yeah, no, and I do not want to be held responsible for that. We're going to get into some of yours after this short break.

We've got three secrets from you we're going to be discussing this week. Soe, let's have number one, please. Okay, this says, good morning, soap and Emma. Good morning. It's actually afternoon now. But they didn't know when they were writing. They didn't know when they were writing. I'm a single first-time mum to a two-and-a-half-year-old and a one-year-old.

And I'm really struggling at the moment, especially with my mental health and all the transitions. My oldest is autistic and refuses to drink from a cup. We use munchkin straw bottles for juice and water, but at night they're still having a Tommy-tippy bottle for milk. They'll drink cow's milk but aren't keen and still prefer formula as well as oat and soy milk. I'm worried because they're nearly three and I feel like they're falling behind. My youngest still wakes in the night and I'm trying to cut out formula and move to cow's milk, but they refuse anything except formula. A bottle at 1.30am is the only thing that settles them back to sleep.

I'd love some advice on how to start introducing cups and cutting out formula completely. I know I should trust my mum gut, but I worry that I'm being too relaxed and choosing the easy route. Thank you so much. The pod genuinely saves me. Lots of love, Haley. Oh, God bless you, Haley. Haley, you've got nothing to worry about. My kids are still doing most of those things.

I didn't want to say that because I don't want to diminish her feelings and how she's feeling and take that from her. but everything you've said I would say is very Yeah I would say it's quite normal I would say that I I don't want you to add unnecessary stress to yourself right now Sounds like you're doing a really incredible job You've got two very young children both under three And you're single mom

And you're doing this all on your own I feel at this moment we just need to give you some credit Because you're actually doing so phenomenal Yeah And also they are both very very little Two and a half and one So I would I wouldn't stress or worry at all.

And obviously, as we will always say, it's really hard because it's really hard to talk about something that I don't live and is not my reality every day and I can't for a second imagine how hard it is for you to go through what you're going through. I don't have an autistic child, so I feel sometimes it's hard for me to give advice on that. So if there's anybody within the community

that can share their experiences or share any tips or things that they do that have helped with any of these scenarios or any, other things that you've faced and you've found that worked really wonderful for you, that is a really strong, wonderful community that I would really love some advice that we can pass forward. Yeah. So I would like to start by saying that because again, I don't, I don't want to say things that I don't know enough about because it's not my reality. But going from being a mum who Colby was two and Dottie was a newborn. So there was a bit of a smaller, yeah, there's a bigger

age gap between my two, but very similar. I just think you have to go with your gut. And I think if your gut is telling you that right now you're doing an incredible job and they're both loved, they're both fed, they're both happy and they're protected by you. I think right now that's that's all that you can focus on. I wonder why you feel like you're not doing the right thing. Like is that external influences, like things you see on social media or other parents. Colby had a man bottle until he was probably four. Yeah. So he had a bottle and it was formula. used follow-on milk. When does follow-on milk, like, go on till?

Is there, is there like a recommended age range? Or do you just, can you do it for as long as you want? I wouldn't like to say. I used it just for as long as my heart felt to use it for. Because Colby didn't have cow's milk either, did it? Sorry, it wasn't Colby, it was Dotty. Colby had a bottle, a man bottle till he was four. Dottie had the follow-on milk.

She was just a really, really hungry girl. So she had, again, still had a man bottle, though, and she had follow-on milk until she was four. Both of them, I want to say, were like, four. Yeah. when they had their bottles. Daytime they would have the munchkin. Like the sippy cup. Yeah, you know the ones with the, yeah, the flat ones that you'd suck the water.

Both of them had those. Yeah. But at night time, both had man bottles. Renly is the only one that doesn't have, he doesn't have, he cut the milk out really, really early. Yeah, he did. I think it just depends on the child. Joseph still has a man bottle full of milk. Colby would have juice most times in a man bottle at bedtime.

Oh, really? He just really liked to drink at bedtime. I think Joseph does it because Sadie still does it. But I'm not worried about it. about it and he's four next month. So he's still drinking out of a milk bottle to go to bed. So I think with your two and a half year old, that's absolutely fine.

And your one year old, you said you're trying to cut out the, I mean, they're still waking the night at 1.30 for a bottle of milk. Totally normal. Sadie's still waking me up in the night and asking for milk and she's nearly two. And I'm sure there's a lot of other babies that do that as well. But you want to move them on from formula to cow's milk. Yes. Which I personally would say on that one,

have we tried cow's milk during the day? Yeah. So introducing cows milk during the day. And also don't, I found also as well is don't do the switch from one to the other as like completely. Like I found that some health visitors would say to me, just cut all formula out now and go straight to cow's milk when that didn't really work for us. So I would have started the cow's milk during the day to then have the formula bottles at night time. Yeah. So they've still got something they're familiar with and then eventually just replace it. Yeah.

Yeah. Because I guess by not having formula, you're going to save yourself. A lot. She's going to save herself a lot of money. It is expensive. And when my kids went on to cows milk, I was like, thank God, because that is a lot cheaper. But maybe your children just won't be a fan of cows milk because you could try your smallest on the oat or the soy. If they don't like the cow's milk. Because they do do the growing up milk, which is what Colby had, which is... Is that like oat milk for babies? Yeah, it's like a lactose-free, I want to say it's an oat milk. I can't know. I don't want to get it wrong. It might have been an almond, but it's got a little giraffe on the package, but it's called Growing Up Milk, which is like an alt, milk. alternative. Yeah. But obviously you'd have to read whether it's soy. There's obviously things that are, I don't know which I can't remember now.

Yeah, obviously, I suppose you want to have one with like no sweetness or anything in it for kids. Yeah, yes. But yeah, Haley, honestly, you're doing great. I think there's nothing to worry about. Hey, I think you're doing incredible. Yeah, I honestly do think. And again, everything is, everything I feel like being a parent is about nothing changes overnight.

So I think if you're introducing something, definitely starts small, definitely start with maybe like the first drink of the day, you know, when they wake up and they're like really, really thirsty, maybe try it on that one or if that one's a little bit too stressful for them because obviously they are really hungry and want something.

Do it as like a morning. Yeah, a morning. Do it like mid morning or something. Yeah. In terms of your little one waking up in the night, you probably obviously do want to cut that one out so that you don't have to wake up in the night and you're less tired.

So we with Joseph and Sadie just gave them less and less and less every night over a period of like a week or something. Yeah. And then the idea is that by the time you get down to like one ounce, they're not going to bother waking up for it. So you could try that as well. Again, I had so much advice to just take the bottle away.

Just go cold turkey. That never worked. Unless the child is responsive in that respect and drops the bottle themselves. Yeah. But when you're trying to remove a bottle, like lunchtime, when you start giving them and weaning in food, there's never, again, never feel like there's enough talk on when you're weaning a child as to how much you're actually meant to give them.

So I would always give them like a sandwich and some Krispies or skips at lunchtime, but also then give them if they're having an 8 ounce bottle at lunch, I'd give them either a three or four ounce of milk after their lunch to top them up. If they don't finish it, great. But also I didn't want to completely remove that. Because you don't know also how much they're getting food-wise to fill their tummy. So I think it's just like you say, it's just reducing it by an ounce. if they're not actively dropping the bottle themselves.

Because technically they don't still need to have milk in the night if they're eating food. But obviously a lot of babies do still wake up for milk when they're over one. I think that's completely normal. I think you're doing incredible. Yes. But like I said, if there is anybody that is able to support and help or have any advice that we can pass on to Haley, I know that it will be so greatly appreciated, not just for Haley for anybody else that are in this position, you know? Yeah.

Okay, let's have secret number two then. All right. This one says, OMG, ladies. ladies, I'm having another baby. Woo! From... Oh, me. I imagine.

I don't take someone else's line, I know, no. I've been a listener since day one and I've gone back to re-listen to your early pregnancy announcements. Baby number three. Wow, very wanted, but now that I'm actually here,

ten weeks pregnant, the panic has properly kicked in. The baby is my partner's first and I worry about my older two not having that full blood connection. I'm also stressing about space. Where will the baby sleep when they need their own room?

I don't have a spare bedroom. My boys are eight and five. They've shared before, but they're used to their own rooms now. And I worry they'll hate sharing again, especially when my eldest becomes a teenager. They don't know about the baby yet, even though I already feel huge. Any advice for a third-time mum who's deep in panic mode and struggling to connect with her bump because of the worry and exhaustion. Much love anonymous. I don't think you've got anything to worry about from somebody that has had third baby with what is exactly the same age gap.

Yeah. So Colby and Dotty, when I fell pregnant with Renle, was five and seven. Yeah. And so it was at eight and five. Yeah. So they are, I don't think, and again, correct me if I'm wrong, I don't want to ever speak out of turn or anything. Because again, it's not something I've been through.

But I, when it comes to children, I don't think blood's an issue. Because neither of, any of my children never say to, like, about their cousins. If their relationship is more siblings than it is cousins, they are so tight and so strong. They have no comprehension. They know they have different moms and dads, but to them, blood is blood. Yeah. It doesn't matter what form it comes from. It doesn't matter that they've got a different mum and dad.

To them, they are so tight and so loved and so appreciated. And I think I can completely understand where you're coming from and that being a worry of yours. But I really don't think that's anything we need to worry about. They won't even consider it children of that age, I don't think. And I think I had the same fears. Did I, do you remember me saying to you, like, I'm so terrified that there's going to be a seven-year age gap between Colby and the baby. And I was petrified.

I was really, really terrified. But I think you need to have a little bit of faith in your children and know that you have created such a wonderful life for them. You're a wonderful mum. And everything you're doing is so wonderful for them. So adding a baby into the mix, I think as much as it is terrifying, because we don't know, it's going to go either one of the one way. But I think once you've told them, I think you're going to be less stressed.

That'll be a relief. I think that's going to be a relief for you. I think where they don't know at the moment, there's a lot of pressure based on that moment. But I think they're going to really surprise you. Yeah, I think they'll be really excited. They're like the perfect age. Like Colby and Dottie, they loved it.

Honestly, I can't tell you. Best thing that I ever done was to give them that baby brother. Yeah. Imagine it now. Yeah. What about space and our bedrooms? Again, we, she's a mama who's got two babies and she's got this far now. All we know is that baby needs love.

obviously babies need feeding and all of that but they're going to have a home filled with so much love from siblings and their dad I just don't think that's a worry I don't think you need to worry we had Renleian with us we were going to keep him in with us a lot longer weren't we because we were in the

obviously in the bungalow and we got by we split the bungalow yeah we split the bedroom in the bungalow sorry by bunk beds which again you can do with the boys there's a lot of stuff on Instagram by dividing a room with bunk If you search it, there's stuff on Pinterest. But you could do that with the boys.

So if you've got a big enough room that they can share and you can divide the room with bunk beds and you can decorate it, get them involved in decorating, and they can put handprints on your belly and have fun while you're painting. Like you can make, I made as much, sorry, I'm getting so overwhelmed because there's like so much I could tell you. But I feel like I was in exactly the same position as you.

I had two, yes, they were girl and boy. But I had the same fears age gap was a massive issue. I felt so much better when I told the children. We kept renally in our room for a really, really long time. But when we did put them into a room, we divided the room. So we had no space. I had big age gap children. I had a small home.

Yeah. I had everything that you're going to go through right now. And I feel like once the baby is here, you just make it work. Yeah. So again, I feel like don't add any stress to yourself. Everything will resolve itself. And I think a baby is a blessing as much as I don't want to be that person that's says that we're so lucky to be going through this journey and I just think once you've told people

you've told the boys and you're settling into the bump I felt everything she's feeling I felt resentful of the baby like how are we going to have a room for them how are we going to do this how are we going to feed them are we going to have enough money are the other two going to hate me or how are they going to hate the baby every feeling that she's going to be going through I felt it and I just think you need to just trust your gum there's things you can divide the room decorate that with the boys you can talk to them about it, take them to the scan. You can do gender reveals, find out the gender with them. I just think as much as you can include them as possible, include them. Yeah. And I think that's, I've rambled a bit there. No, I think that's amazing advice because it's really like a

parallel situation to yours. And I think you're right. I think practical things will just resolve themselves. Like you've got a few years before your oldest becomes a teenager, five years. Yeah. So in time, I think that will work itself out. And I hope you can start to get excited about it because it's really exciting. I think once you go through the motions of telling them, I did tell the children before we'd had our first scan. No, I didn't actually. I had an early scan with Renli.

I did tell the children, but we said, I did explain to the children, and again, you may correct me if I'm wrong, but I just said, there's, mommy's got a baby in her tummy, and anything can happen with the baby when they're really tiny. Some babies can make it all the way to the end, and some babies don't.

But I've always been really honest with the children to explain that to them. I don't know whether it's because I went through losing the babies and having the miscarriage that when Colby was really little, but obviously we spoke to Colby about it. And we was like sometimes babies don't always make it to the end. And some are too special to be here. And we have to wait to we see them in another life. So it's always something that we've talked about.

It's something that's always really fascinated. Dottie because she's always been somebody that's spoken to spirits and had that sort of connection with what I say, her world, you know. So I just think if it's something you feel comfortable to talk to them, them about and just say, look, it's really early. But we do have a baby in my tummy and you can do a special reveal to them. But just making sure that they're very aware of how safe we need to keep you and keep the baby because I was like, can't have anybody. I was scared they were going to jump on me and I didn't want to do too much. I also didn't want to sit down and then panic about me. I just said,

you know, sometimes mommy's bodies get tired. So I think involving them in the whole process of this will be really exciting. I took them on every single step of the way, whether it was good or bad. I spoke to them about everything. And I think helped when I was in the hospital for two weeks before I had Renly, they were kind of like, oh, this is okay because mummies in the hospital because she's got to protect the baby. Yeah, you're prepared for it. And some babies need a little bit of extra help. So when I was in hospital, as much as they were sad, I wasn't home, they weren't scared.

Yeah. They weren't worried. So I think, yeah, if I can give any advice is don't panic. Everything will sort itself out. And I just think it's something. as long as you involve everybody, daddy to be, and the older siblings, I think you'll find a new piece in that.

Yeah. So exciting. So exciting. I don't want to say I'm jealous, but mine might be slightly. Yeah. Okay. Right, let's have our last secret.

All right, this says, Hey, ladies, I live in Spain. We moved here 15 years ago when my son was almost one. Oh, what? How exciting. One day at the beach, my mum took him for a walk along the seafront

while I relaxed. The beach was really quiet and my son was naked, as he always was, to the point where we genuinely worried he'd tried to strip off when he started school at three. He ran into the little play area on the beach and was hanging from one of the bars. Then, while still hanging...

Or crumbs. He lifted his legs. I don't know if I can read this. I've read ahead and it's making me laugh. The way this is written is poetic. He lifted his legs and the biggest turd I have ever seen slipped straight out of his bum. Oh my God! My mum had walked.

Sorry, that is just... That paints such. of him like hanging freely and the turd just slipping out of his car. It's so visual. My mum had walked about 10 minutes away with absolutely nothing. No wipes, no nappy and no clothes. Just a naked toddler. It gets better.

She had to dig a hole in the sand. Imagine this being my mum. To bury the poo? She had to dig a hole in the sand with her foot to bury it. This is so good And pray the young couple Sunbathing nearby I hadn't noticed

She said it was the longest poo She'd ever seen And couldn't believe it came out of such a small body She also admitted to having poo envy Because he didn't even strain Just hung there like it was nothing Maybe we have all missing a trick We should be pooing

Hanging upside down on bars Freely naked on a beach Just be naked all the time Hang upside down on a bar on the beach and it will just slip right out. Keep doing a great job. Laurie. Laurie, I think the only one that you just keep doing a great job is your little boy.

Oh, my God. Oh, I love that. So much. Oh, God, nothing better than a good proof story. And that was written. I want to know now is he like 25. Oh, that was written beautifully. Oh.

That just kept on giving. He must be like 16 now, is he? Because he moved 15 years ago to Spain. Oh, yeah, he's like 16 now. Fuck me. Fucking hell, Laurie. Fucking hell. My mum had to dig a hole in woodford.

Just a young couple sunbathing nearby. Gosh, what an image. Hopefully they went on honeymoon. So thank you for sharing your secrets this week. Everyone is welcome on the Secret Mum Club. If you'd like to share your secrets with us, she can. You can email us hello at secret mumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. Have you been sucking sinks?

Or have you found a turn in the sand in Spain? Laurie's Sons. 15 years old. Fossilised. Let us know, there really is nothing too outrageous. Keep on out for our Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club!