Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Snoring Starlet

Episode Date: May 29, 2025

We’ve got some gorgeous updates this week - from surprise pregnancy news to a listener who's just welcomed her little pumpkin into the world. Plus one mum shares a secret that deserves an Oscar, and we’re absolutely here for it.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello there, this is Jack Ben and Coulson from On The Sofa Podcast and Off The Tele. We're here to tell you about a live show we're doing at Crosswise Festival in Sheffield. And we are so excited to be back in Yorkshire for another live show. We love the last one so much. Yeah, I don't know about you two, but what are we going to talk about? I mean, nothing's really been happening for me. I can guarantee you that we will be spilling the behind the scenes CBBT to the people of Yorkshire. You can't beat Yorkshire too. Get all the details and your tickets now at CrossWires.live.

We can't wait to see you in Sheffield. Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina and I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursdays episode where we get to squeezing all the extra bits and bobs from the week. Squeeze your bits. All of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories. Keep going through the weekend. Shall we jump on in? It's time for another correspondence corner. Sadie just started going with a little claw. Yeah.

Little tiger. She's feisty. Shall we have the first one? Yes. This one says, hi again, secret mum put. Oh, hello. I'm a stepmom who was trying for a baby and finding the whole thing a bit of a juggle and emotional rollercoaster.

I do remember. Thank you so much for holding space for stories like mine. It means more than you know. This week, everything just felt heavy. I didn't quite know what it was, but I've just been utterly exhausted, teary and overwhelmed by life. People keep telling me to take the pressure off,

but when you're juggling step parenting, work, trying to conceive and your own emotions, it's a lot. It's a lot. So I've made the decision to start therapy and it was honestly one of the best things I've done for myself in years. For the first time in ages, things felt a little bit lighter.

Later that morning, I was pottering about the house, cleaning and funning around as you do. And on a bit of a whim, I took a pregnancy test. I wasn't expecting anything. I think I just did it absentmindedly and left it on the bathroom side, completely forgetting about it. I was on the phone to a friend later,

chatting away about how amazing my therapy session had been when I went back into the bathroom and there it was a positive. No wonder I'd been feeling so emotional and drained. I'm still a bit stunned, but absolutely overjoyed for the first time in a long time. I'm smiling with full body happiness with love anonymous. Massive congratulations. Isn't that amazing? Oh, see, this is it. I always say that you just gotta clear that mind and let it go. I'm not saying it obviously works for everybody, but just letting that, letting it go

and just letting it be what it's gonna be. That's phenomenal, isn't it? You hear about that so much, don't you? Like when people are trying and then they kind of just like try and take the pressure off. It happens, do you know what? And again, excuse me if I'm wrong or uneducated, but it always seems,

I see the stories when people are going down the IVF route and then they go down the route of IVF and then along the way find out that they're... They've conceived naturally. Yes, yes, yes. I mean, it's only like anecdotal, but you do hear those stories quite a lot, don't you? Yes. Because the pressure's off now. Oh, I love it, obviously.

I do love it. It just seems so much more that I hear that sort of scenario. You do hear that, yeah. Oh, I love it, obviously. I do love it. But it just seems so much more that I hear that sort of scenario. You do, yeah. Oh, that's amazing. And I'm glad you started therapy as well. Yes. That's great.

A lot of people say therapy is so good, don't they? I've never had therapy, but everyone I know that has therapy absolutely loves it. I think my sister is my therapist because I just off dilute to her and then I feel great. She's probably really fucking struggling. She's carrying the weight of both of her and then I feel great. She's probably really fucking struggling. She's carrying the weight of both of us. But I feel wonderful.

Yeah, every time you leave her house, feel lighter. I'd love to be a therapist though. Would you? Yes, I would love it. Be interesting. I think I'd be angry about certain situations though. Yeah. You've got to stay impartial.

Hard not to take other people's stuff on I think, because you're a real empath. So I feel like you would take- Am I? Yeah, for sure. I don't know the difference. I don't know why I acted surprised. Like you feel other people's stuff on, I think, because you're a real empath. So I feel like you would take up- Am I? Yeah, for sure. I don't know the difference. I don't know why I actually surprised you. Like you feel other people's feelings. So it'd be hard for you to like not get like emotionally attached, and emotional, and invested. And yeah, I think you've just got to be like-

I'll be at your front door like, are you all right today? And then like, am I paying for this? No, I'm just checking in. Just checking in. Just seeing if you're all right. How lovely though. So lovely. And I'm wishing you a very healthy, happy pregnancy. Keep us updated. Oh, I can't wait. Like even telling the babies. I know. Oh, this is going to be such a wonderful journey. Oh, we're so excited for you. Keep us updated. And thank you for getting, we love getting back in touch, don't we? We love a double dipper, don't we?

Double dip. That means something. Does it? Rude. Well, you took it there. It was very innocent from my perspective. So. All right.

You ready for another one? Yes. It says, hello, beautiful ladies. I wanted to respond to the episode on mum guilt. I related so much to the mum who shared her experience supporting her son through cancer and an autism diagnosis. I teared up listening because it brought up so many feelings from my own journey with my son.

When he was eight, we were navigating a tough time supporting him at school with ADHD. And then he developed a mass in his chin. After months of tests, he was diagnosed with cancer at the age of nine. I felt like I was failing him as a mom, but I tried to stay positive for him. He's now cancer-free and a beautiful bright boy

who's nearly 11. I think we love them so fiercely that anything that goes wrong, we want to erase it for them and we just can't. It's a journey and we do our best to guide them the best way we know how. Much love to all the mom warriors. Jen from New York, USA. Oh my gosh. I can't, I can't deal with these beautiful, beautiful stories. Oh God. I'm tearing

up. I'm emotional. I am an emotional wreck today. I think, like we've got a friend sadly, whose daughter is going through cancer treatment at the moment. And it's quite a recent thing. And it's made me and Stefan like quite health anxious, like everything that's wrong with the kids. We're like, oh my God, more so than we normally would be, like get that checked, better get it double checked. Like Sadie's had a cold blesser for like months and months and months.

She's got a cough that she can't shake. I've taken it to the doctors quite a lot. They're like, it is just a virus. Like her immune system's developing. She started nursery. Like when her immune system's developing. She started nursery. Like when her immune system's low, she keeps picking up another virus. She's developed a rash now, which is eczema.

But as soon as they get a rash, you think, oh God, could it be something worse? Could it be sepsis? Could it be meningitis? Like, and we're just like questioning everything now. Like when Joseph stopped eating, refusing food, I was like, oh my God, maybe something's wrong with him. Like what is, and it's just the so awful.

I think that's natural because I, we do just worry so much. There's just no way to explain the love. Is it? You just love and the worry so fucking hard. Yeah. And worry so hard. Worry that comes with that because just getting that bad news would just be the worst thing in the world. And I can't, the people that have been through it, I just think. I take my hat off to you. They're amazing.

Yeah, so amazing. And what incredible, incredible children they are. The children that have fought through this, it just, it blows my mind. I just, I take my hat off because the courage and the strength that you show, not only to your child, but also your child going through this. It's just so admirable, isn't it?

It's just phenomenal. It breaks my heart that the kids don't even really know the extent of it. How incredibly powerful they are. They're kind of just doing it, like our friend's daughter, she's three, so she'll have no idea what she's going through. But that breaks my heart even more, because I'm like, you don't even know like the enormity

of this and you're facing it like, you're just like getting through every day. And it's worse for the parents in a way, I think, because you know, you know, like- We know too much. You know what the outcome could be, or you know how bad it could be, or you know how worrying that word is

to hear the word cancer. Like your mind must just go to like the worst places. So yeah, I'm just totally in awe of parents that have gone through it. And the children that have gone through it. So thank you, Jen, for sharing that. All of our love to him is 11 now. I know. How phenomenal. All right. This one says, hi fab ladies. I've had a coil both before kids and after. We spoke about this, didn't we? Yeah. And how I've had a coil both before kids and after. We spoke about this, didn't we? Yeah, and how about how painful they can be

to have them fitted. It says, I'm a two times C-section mom, like M, and let me tell you, the difference between predilation and post-birth is wild. The first time I drove myself home afterwards, gritted my teeth and took the day off work. After my second child, I got it done in the morning and went to work that same afternoon.

I'm due to get mine changed in March and I'm still nervous. So that would have happened already. Much love from Amanda. So she's saying it's less painful after you've had kids. But she's had C-section. But she's had C-sections. So it doesn't matter if they come out of your vagina

or you're having a C-section. Maybe it's just that your womb's been stretched with the pregnancy. So then it's less painful getting them in. I didn't know that. I can't know that. My mind would go to, oh, if you've gone C-section, it will still be the same. Yeah, no, it must be about being pregnant rather than how the baby is delivered.

Because everything is all, because you must still have dilated, we were talking about this the other day, weren't we? You must still have dilated. I was dilating at like 30 weeks. Or is this talking about dilation of the womb rather than the cervix? Oh, I don't know. Because like with Josie, if I did dilate, but not with Sadie, I was, she was born at 39 weeks. I hadn't gone into labor. So it must be about the womb being like- I wasn't in labor at 30 weeks and I was dilating. Yeah. I mean, I guess you'd never know unless someone checked your cervix.

I mean, I'm four centimeters on a rag, so. Yeah. Just a gaping hole down there. Ten centimeters daily. I'm ten centimeters on the daily. A gaping hole. Wow. Interesting. I mean, I guess-

That is interesting. You could have just had a bad experience before and a good experience after, but maybe they told you that that's why it was less painful the second time around, because it was post-carers. Yes. Interesting to know if we've got any nurses, would it be a nurse that tells us? It's normally the nurse that does it, isn't it? Is it better after you've had a baby than it is before?

Maybe they were designed. To go in after babies. Oh, because you don't want any more babies. Yes. But now they're just used as a general contraceptive, aren't they? Yes. For anyone. Oh, interesting. Well, thank you, aren't they? Yes. You know, for anyone.

Oh, interesting. Well, thank you, Amanda. Thanks, Amanda. Every day is a school day. Every day is, truly. I love this so much. All right, I've got one last message here. It says, afternoon, ladies.

I wrote in last year showing that I was having a baby after hooking up with my ex. Yes! I think this was the one where they had like a one night stand and then she got pregnant. Yes. And was gonna do it all on her own. I just wanted to share the news

of my little pumpkin's arrival. You know what? Miss Isla came into the world a little early on the 25th of January at lunchtime. Oh my gosh. I'm absolutely smitten and the thought of being judged by anyone has completely disappeared.

Thank you for your continued podcast and endless laughs. You made my pregnancy journey so much easier. I'm looking forward to sharing the motherhood journey with you both with love, anonymous. Baby Isla is here in the world. Isla, and it was January, so she's like a few months now. Yeah, it just all goes out the window, doesn't it? Oh, as soon as they're born.

As soon as they're born, everything goes, there's no, you've got no care in the world other than this. And then everything just transfers to them, doesn't it? Your worry, your love, stresses, everything is just all about that little person. Just keeping them alive. And who gives a shit on how your journey goes.

Yeah. All that matters is that you're well, your baby is well. Happy. Happy, loved, safe. Oh my gosh, what a dream. We could just eat that all up. That is stunning. Oh, happy for you.

I love the name, Isla. Such a beautiful name, isn't it? Stunning name. So thank you for your messages. If you have any comments, thoughts or funny stories, why not get in touch? You can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. Next it's time for one of your... Not Emma's, your secrets. Hello there, this is Jack Ben and Colson from On The Sofa Podcast and Off The Tele. We're here to tell you about a live show we're doing at Crosswise Festival in Sheffield. And we are so excited to be back in Yorkshire for another live show. We love the last one so much.

Yeah, I don't know about you two, but what are we going to talk about? I mean, nothing's really been happening for me. I can guarantee you that we will be spilling the behind the scenes CBBT to the people of Yorkshire. You can't beat a Yorkshire tea. Get all the details and your tickets now at CrossWires.live. We can't wait to see you in Sheffield. Welcome back. We love a secret on the Secret Muppet Club. And you are all so good at sharing. So go on Emma. What have you got for us today?

All right. This comes from Polly in Cork. Another stunning name. Ireland. Love the name Polly. Love the name Polly. Yeah, me too. Polly from Ireland is... Shit, that's going to sound beautiful in Gerard Butler's Irish accent. Gerard Butler. Hall accent. Gerard Butler. Hallie.

Wasn't it Hallie? Polly. When he says PSI love you. In PSI love you. But that was a fake accent. That's not his real accent. Hold on. Don't fucking kill all my dreams.

Isn't it? So will it be Polly? Is it? That was a fake accent, right? We need to do... That Gerard Butler did in PSI love you. No, that's... I don't think he's Irish.

I could be wrong. He is an Irish. It was a fake accent. But he's still done a phenomenal Irish accent. Did he? Sorry. Got carried away there, Polly. This comes from Polly in Cork Island. She says, hey, you ladies, please tell me I'm not the only one who pretends to be asleep

when your toddler wakes up at stupid o'clock. No. If I hear those little footsteps padding into the bedroom, I instantly go full drama school, breathing slow and deep, maybe a little snore for good measure. Yes! I once even flopped my arm over my face like I was in a Victorian faint just to sell it. Oh, oh! It works like a charm and nine times out of ten they go straight to my husband's side of the bed instead.

Yes, iconic. The poor bloke gets a full-blown monologue about breakfast demands and lost teddies while I lie there like a log thinking, don't move, don't twitch. She even convinced him she's asleep. You're asleep, you're asleep. Should I feel guilty for leaving you to deal with it or am I just a sleeping Hollywood star that deserves an Oscar for my efforts? Oscar. The latter.

The latter. The Oscar is coming straight to you Polly. You deal with enough, I'm guessing you deal with enough shit. Do you know what, actually I led on the sofa with Renly last night and I generally have to pretend that I'm asleep so that my heart rate slows down and the minute my heart rate slows down, oh shit, you know it works every time. He goes back to sleep.

Does it? Yeah, he goes off to sleep. I try that with Sadie when she's in my arms. I close my eyes and like breathe really deeply and then I open my eyes and she's just like, hello. Hello. Or just a finger in your eyeball. Yeah, no hers is finger down my top, pinching my nipples. That's her, I'm feeling. That's her favorite comfort. That's a finger in your eyeball. Yeah, no hers is finger down my top, pinching my nipples.

That's her, I'm feeling, that's her favorite comfort. That's her finger in the eyeball. Yeah, that's her equivalent. But genius, genius Polly. Yeah, no, absolutely, leave your husband to deal with it. I in fact did it last night. I do it on the reg and then I hear Chris huff and puff and get out of bed sometimes and stomp up the hallway

and I think, this is a dream, he bought it. Yeah. He doesn't know. Oh no, he just outages. He doesn't know, I pretend. He probably does know. He doesn't know that I don't know. He doesn't know that you know that he knows.

Yeah, sure. So I'm still gonna go with it. Fuck it. I love how, because it's a toddler. I love this. They're very obvious, you have to make it really dramatic. I'm asleep, I'm asleep. I think I would say, I'm asleep, don't wake me.

It's when I'm led on my bed and I say, morning, darling, and she'll go, are you awake? No, I'm asleep. Yeah, my eyes are closed, but I am talking to you. It's very confusing. I'm talking to you from the dream land. And then when I come into the front room, she says, do you know you were talking to me in your dream?

No. What? No way. Crazy mummy I am. I'm so crazy. Have you flexed your acting skills around your little ones? Then let us know. Email us hello at secretmumpod.com or we're Secret Mum Pod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. And we'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club. This is Jack, Ben and Colson from On The Sofa Podcast and Off The Tele. We're here to tell you about a live show we're doing at Crosswise Festival in Sheffield. And we are so excited to be back in Yorkshire for another live show. We love the last one so much.

Yeah, I don't know about you two, but what are we going to talk about? I mean, nothing's really been happening for me. I can guarantee you that we will be spilling the behind the scenes CBBT to the people of Yorkshire. You can't beat a Yorkshire tea. Get all the details and your tickets now at crosswires.live. We can't wait to see you in Sheffield.