Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Stinky Snack

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

A potty victory turns into a parenting nightmare when one listener’s toddler eats what he shouldn’t. Emma spills the tea in her Secret of the Week, while Soph navigates Harry Potter debates with Dottie. Plus, the ladies hear from a mum whose baby is struggling to settle with Dad. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. I'm Sophia. And I'm Emma. This podcast is a safe space for mum's everywhere. A safe space to share our secrets. Because we all have secrets, don't we? We do. And as we know, sharing is caring. You don't even have to tell us who you are. You can keep that to yourself. You can be anonymous. And all those secrets can be serious or silly. All secrets are welcome in the Secret Mum Club! Yay! Welcome home, honey. You've got phobia of balloons, haven't you? Yeah, I really don't like them. It's not so much.

Touching them is them exploding. You're scared of them going to pop. I don't like that. Yeah. Don't like the van. And I'm okay blowing them up and knotting them, but I just can't if they're going to explode in my face. You don't mind the squeak? No, I don't like the squeak.

It's when the children eat the, they bite them. Rennie's just like, oh, chow-y-h-h-ha-ha-ha-ha-chow. They're not the feeling of it on their teeth. Yeah. And that's scratching. Oh, it's too much for me. I can't. It's too much.

That's a recipe for popping it as well, putting on your teeth. Exactly. I'm like this. Get out the balloon! I can't handle it I can't handle it I have to leave the room not with helium though I don't think I've got the same stress with helium

no just these rubber bastards are they rubber latex no what are they they are rubber aren't they don't know they literally look like they're going to explode at any second but how the fuck have you been

oh god shit me a lot's gone down it's been a really long time a lot's gone down it didn't funny how two weeks seemed massive huge but in fact It actually was just two weeks.

Yeah, because I have moved. Yeah, she has. Successfully. Successfully. But I'm also back in London for two weeks. Yes. Finishing off my absolute radio contract. Yes.

So I'm working there until the beginning of December. And then this though, I'm going to keep doing all the time. And she's going to commute. Forever more. I'm going to be doing this on Wednesday. Yeah. So, yeah. Commuting every week like me.

Yeah, commute every week like you. We're going to both be commuters. Oh, commoters. It's long, right? I did it on Sunday night. to come down to London, the train from Cardiff. It's only two hours, but I just don't know what to do with two hours to myself now. I was like twiddling my thumbs.

Well, now you've got two weeks to yourself because Stefan's solo parenting. For two weeks with my friends. Well, it's only, it's not a full week. It's Monday to Thursday. So I'm heading back up there tomorrow. Oh, nice. Back down on Sunday. Oh, stunning.

I always thought like, oh, it's such a piece of piss to be like the parent that goes away for work. Because I think being at home is like the hardest job. I feel like you're really detached from the house. But actually leaving is really hard. Like the thought of, the feeling of like packing my suitcase and going on Sunday evening, I didn't like that at all. Did you cry? No. Oh.

But. Oh. I have cried. Stop it. Lots. You're lying to me. Honestly, you wouldn't believe it. You're winding me up.

I'm like a different woman. I had a lot of messages of people saying, is Emma okay? She doesn't look all right in her. In those photos. I was holding back to tears in those photos. Stop it. Honestly, trying not to cry. No, I'm not.

I'm moving house. I have cried probably as much as when I had Joseph. I've been so much. No. You're telling me that got on a trick. Over the period of about four or five days, so like when it was all happening, packing up, moving, leaving last day at nursery, all that stuff.

Oh, Emma. And then actually get into the new house as well. Like, that was such an overwhelming day. I've cried. And I never cry, as you know. Should we look back at the last episodes where you were like, I'm not going to cry? Yeah.

You dick. I've cried so much. I don't know what it is. And everything. You've not cried about one thing. You've cried about every. It was like leaving the old house that was really triggering. Oh, you're going to cry again on you.

No, I'm going to try not to. I'm going to try and explain it about crying. Trying to talk through tears is hard though. Like when we got to the house, I hadn't really cried in front of anyone else, apart from Stefan. And then his sister was there, like, helping us coordinate everything on the first night. And she was like, I know it's been a lot. Like, we've done the long journey.

Like, everything was just a lot. We got there. We were trying to like get clean and tidy. We were knackered. I'd been like so sad about leaving the old house earlier that day. She was like, I know it's really overwhelming. like if you want to have a little cry you can and I was just like oh no I was like you've it's coming you've taken the plug out it's coming as soon as someone gives you that permission

you're like suddenly like the floodgates have opened it's like when you're really sad and you hold your shit together and then somebody goes so you're right and you're like it's like your safe word as to be like I'm actually really not right that was the trigger I was like what did you say that and then obviously I was like but that was actually the last time I've cried in the new house I think I just needed to like get that out it was like such a release of all the like stress and the anticipation and it's the buildup as well, like the whole build-up to you actually getting in there. Like, I remember waiting for the keys on the day of, like, it was Colby's birthday.

And I just remember, I just felt like I was so on edge. Like, I was on edge as to, like, when are we getting the keys? You'll keep looking at your phone. And I was just so fucking emotional. Because I was like, one, it's his birthday. Two, it's a second house we've bought. Like, we haven't moved house in 10 years. When we first moved into our first house, we didn't have any babies.

And it was all really, really exciting. this time around. And then I felt bad because I was like, fuck it, I feel, I feel like I'm fucking sad and I'm not sad, but I am sad. And it's a horrible feeling. It's a whole like thing of like, it's a whole mixture of emotions. You're like, you want to get it done, but you're also like sad about leaving. You really want to slow it down, but you want to speed it up. You want to speed it up. I was stressed about even getting over the line because we exchanged so late. We were aiming for the Friday completion date and it had to be on that Friday because Stefan was going to Manchester to work

on the Sunday. So I was like, we've got a move in this like, in this two day period. Wednesday evening, we still hadn't exchanged. This was like two days until completion. I'd booked the movers because it was such a long journey. We had a two day move. So they were coming early on the Thursday morning. And they were like, are we still coming tomorrow? And I was like, I don't know.

I don't know. I paid like 600 pound deposit that I couldn't get back. And I was like, I just don't know if it's going to happen. We were like chasing people all day. And it was just so stressful. And then at 10 past four on the Wednesday, our solicitor was like, it's done. We've exchanged the contracts. I was like, thank God for that.

Stefan went out that evening with his friend. I ordered a dominoes and cracked to open a can of lager and celebrated in style and watched a selling sunset reunion. I was living life. I was like, I finally feel like so happy. So I did that. And then, yeah, Thursday morning, they were there. They were knocking on the door.

We overslept. So they were like, we're home alone. Yeah. They were here to move all your stuff. And we were like, oh, yeah. Sorry. All the emotion of the last few days is really caught up with me. Way too much fun with me tin last night.

But then I, yeah, and then that was it then. It was all just like, they were so quick as well. And I just, I wasn't prepared for like, how fast it was. The speed of it. They had got the beds down in five minutes. The wardrobes were out by, within the first half an hour. And suddenly the house was looking so empty and so different. And that morning, like, being such a rush, I kind of felt guilty on the kids because

we had to get them to nursery quickly so we could like crack on. But obviously Joseph was like the movers were there. Everything was in boxes. Like it all looked a bit different. and we've been building him up and saying we're going to be moving getting him excited about his new room all that stuff

but he that last morning he was like are we never coming back here oh god honestly honestly it set me off and I was like no we won't be and he was like before he went to Nashville he was like I'll feel a bit sad oh no

I know I can't even cry so I was like oh my God I'm really sad and I was like and now you're really sad which I can't cope with so I need to get you out of the house oh my God you cry it was too much and so in between like trying to be really practical and like cleaning everything and packing everything and directing

the movers. I'd just be like crying into my bleach. Like it was, it was, it was a lot. It was like so much. And then like packing down Joseph's bedroom. I was like, oh my God, this is like the first. I decorated that. I painted that room when I was like heavily pregnant with him. Never finished it because I went into labor. And you just think about like, then the cot gets taken out. And you're like, oh my God, the amount of nights that I've like spent trying to get him to sleep in that cot. Like it was just, it was just all like too much. It's a whole world. It was, yeah. It was a lot. And it was like even like the first, because obviously we didn't stay in hours, did we, for the first two nights. So we got the keys at 5pm on hours. And then we didn't move in for the first couple of nights. So obviously we were going back to the old house. But like when we stayed the first night and it was a couple of days after, they were like, we are going to go back, are we? And it's just, and you know when you're, you're so tired and you're so drained from everything. And you want to be like, you want to make that moment so magical for them, don't you? but you're like, you don't want to cry and you're like, no, we're not going back.

It's so hard, isn't it? Yeah, he's asked a few questions about the old house as well, which I think it's good because it means he's like understanding it. He's like processing it. But when we got, like, when I put him to bed on the first night, he was like, what's going on at our old house now? Like, who lives there now? And he was like, are they going to keep it the same?

And like, is anything going to change? And then he was like, what can we go back and visit, like, the house. That's what dots asks all the time. And obviously, I'm like, well, probably not. But, yeah, I know. And I just think, oh, is it wrong to say yeah? And I just said, oh, yeah, we can. Yeah, maybe one day.

That's what I say. Yeah. Maybe one day. I do wonder. I'm like, how are they feeling? We can also drive to us because it's obviously. Yeah. There'd be no reason for me to go past the old house ever.

So, yeah, it's just weird. And like, closing the door for the final time, I was like, oh my God, like, this just feels. I think it's, like, I was in our previous flat that we sold for longer than we were in this house. We were only there for three and a half years. But it's the baby thing. It's the memories of like all the stuff you've been through, like all the first they've had there, bringing them home from. hospital like oh it's just too much so yeah it's a hard one to explain because i'm like i'm obviously so happy about the move like it's the right thing to do we're in a tiny house like whatever like

it's all it's all good the new house is lovely it's a lovely area but explaining to people like two things can be true at once like i'm really happy about moving but i'm also really sad about leaving you know so yeah so it's been a lot and then i picked them up from nursery that night and fucking nursery teacher started crying oh because she was like i'm really going to miss them because her and joseph are like particularly close yeah so that was a really hard one well. She made me laugh. She was like, oh, you know, the hardest part of the job is that you get really attached to them. And then obviously, like, normally they move on and go to school and stuff as well. But like, obviously, they're Sadie and Joseph both leaving at the same time.

And she went, you know, you get really attached to them. And she was like, and I actually really liked them. As opposed to all the other children. Yeah. Some other kids are fucking don't, yeah. Not a fan. Can't fucking stand. Can't wait for them to leave. But she went these ones. I actually really liked them. So that was really sad as well. And Joseph and Sadie were like, didn't really get it. Because she started crying. And I started crying. And they were like, mom can we just like go home from nursery like what what's going on are we crying yeah yeah so it's been a lot so I don't think they've really understood but they've settled in really well I'm to say how are they sleeping yeah yeah Joseph's been doing so well like in his he's in a big boy bed now they can get out of

but he's been sleeping like we've been having to wake him up at like quarter to nine in the morning back the fuck up you're here telling me I'm keeping him in that baby jail in his little cot yeah as long as you can I'm not big boy in bed in him and you've big boy bed him well yeah Yeah, because now he's got a room big enough for it. Wow. And also, more importantly, Sadie needed the cot bed that he was in. Of course. Of course, she did.

She's in that one now. Got you. No, we haven't baby gated the, we haven't jailed the door. And he's doing okay. He's doing okay. There was one night where he had, because what I'm finding a real problem is, because we have to drive everywhere there because there's no, like, public transport. He keeps falling asleep in the car at like 4 p.m.

So he keeps having these danger naps. There was, yeah, he had a danger nap one day, and there was a day that he came downstairs, he must come downstairs about 20 times, went to sleep at like 10 p.m. I was like, go. to fucking sleep. But generally he's done really well and he loves his room now because he can actually play with his toys

in his room so he'll go and like do that for ages or his new favourite thing is like throwing his teddies down the stairs I'm like you could have actually done that in the old house but okay that's his new hobby and then Sadie's in his old cot bed and she's sleeping absolutely terribly so got one of them sleeping one of them not

but what's new you can't have a hole I thought we might move house and all our problems would be solved but no like mine yeah although we have a Are they still sleeping? Yeah, well, I say yes. I say yes and no.

Renner's has been poorly, up and down poorly. Still. Yeah, I feel like it's the seasonal, seasonal shit now. Yeah. Seasonal colds. So he is a little bit up and down and he's been teeving, but he's all right. Yeah. He does do great.

We've been this week, been, I'm trying to add a little bit of personality without decorating hours. So I've put some shelves up. Christmas? No, as I like decorating there. Right. Rooms. Like, Dotty would love a pink palace. but I'm not decorating the,

I'm not painting the walls. In her room? Yeah. So I've added some shelves in this week. Yeah. And I feel like it takes forever, forever. And I don't know that I truly believe that the house is ever fully a home. No,

it's like when you finish one job, you're on to another job. It's weird that as well, like you moved into a new build and I think I would prefer that in a way. Because moving into a house, I've never moved into a house that someone's lived in before. And moving into a house where like, you know someone was literally there earlier that day.

Like when we moved in, I was like, feel like we're in someone else's house. It takes time to make it feel like your home. Yeah. But my mum and dad came and did, like, put a massive shift in. They came down for a week and, like, cleaned everything and my dad fixed everything. I was like, how many 37-year-olds still need the help of their mom and dad to move house?

Like, I don't think many, would many parents do that? Yes. Yeah, yours would. Yeah. I think so. They go above and beyond, bless them. Like, they do so much. I'm like, I'd be fucked without them.

Like, my sister and my brother were all massive helps too. Yeah. But I don't know the amount of stuff my sister and my sister. I'm like, well, especially my sister moved in her car, I just can't. And it was really weird because, like, there'll be things like Roxanne was picking stuff up. And I was like, oh, no, no, no, I'm not ready for like that box to go. And she'd be like, okay. My sister's moved house so much.

Has she? So she is not, she's numb to it, but she's so in it to just move it. She's like really practical. Yeah, like really practical. And obviously all the babies have been in different houses. Like Ember wasn't, Everley wasn't in the first house. that Roxanne had with the other three and then they were in the other house

but it was never her, she knew it was never going to be her forever home and then Everley was in the middle house but now they're all in the third. How the hell have they done that so much with kids? I found moving with kids like the most stressful thing like I never want to do it again. And she's renovated all three of them.

I just can't. But this one was the biggest renovation. The one that she's in now is like the biggest renovation they've ever done. Does she love doing it? Yeah, she loves it. I can't. No, it's not for me. It's not for, I don't get me wrong.

I really, really love it, but I'd love it to do it for someone else. I don't actually want to do it. I wouldn't want to live in a renovation. I could never. I couldn't. The dust is too much. Oh, God. Even the level of stuff we had to do when we moved in, I was like, cleaning out a few, like kitchen cupboards.

Yeah. That's my limit. That's, I'm maxed out. I'm not going to be knocking walls down. No way, Jose. Or the dust on everything. And then the children climbing through it. But no, there'd be boxes like Roxanne was going to move.

And I'd be like, oh, no, no, I'm not, I'm not ready. I mean, you didn't have movers. How the fuck did you do that without movers? Don't know. It took us like three days. All the furniture and everything. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Well, I sold a lot of it. I sold a lot of stuff and I gave a lot of way to a lot of people. So it was just a case of waiting for everybody to come and collect stuff. Yeah. And then we obviously were in the house with no sofa. Then I ordered the wrong side sofa and had to completely change the layout of the lounge, which was fucking stupid of me. I don't even know why I did that.

that. But no, it was, I felt really sentimental about mine. And I thought my sister was a bit like a grip. Do you think? Maybe she's done it so much as you just used to it now. That's what I mean. Yeah. But she moved so much. Yeah. I can't tell you how much she moved. And then my brother was putting shifts in in the evenings to move stuff or early in the morning before he was going to work. Oh, bless. But yeah. It's a lot, isn't it? We got the job done. But we're going to stay in the houses we're in now for ever 30 years. Yeah. Forever. Forever. Forever. Until death do us The death doll's part, I'm never moving. Never, ever.

I never want to do it again. Unless that thing falls down. Yeah. I'm not getting out of that way. I can't. It's one of the most stressful thing you can do, I think. Moving house. I just, it's up there.

It's a lot, isn't it? It is. Yeah. But you're in. We're in. I'm so relieved. And how is Cardiff? It's nice.

Well, we're on a little like town on the outskirts. It's a totally, I mean, I'll have to tell you more because obviously this is like very long. I've got loads to say. But it's very different. All the neighbours know each other. Everyone's been round. It's so, like, it's so villagey. And like, compared to London, like, I said, Stefan, we've been in three and a half years.

No one's going to know that we've moved out. Apart from our neighbours immediately next door. They were like a sweet older couple. And they were going to really miss you. They were like, please. Oh, God, it was really sweet when we left. They brought us a car and they were, please send us some pictures of the children. We're going to really miss them.

Oh, no. But apart from them, no one's going to know that we've gone. And then literally, within like a few hours of it. I mean, literally, we got out of the car, hadn't even stepped foot in the house yet. And someone came over and shook our hands. They went, we're your neighbours but two. if you need anything come over people have brought champagne around stop i mean i'm just like i can i could sell in here this is adorable yeah this is really cute it's like me and stephan keeps saying

it's like moving into like it feels like it's like midsummer murders or something or like an agatha christie i've been watching fear thy neighbor on prime oh yeah this really scary i don't think i should i wouldn't recommend it no but it's the kind of thing where you're like murder could happen in this village and we could be all implicated you could all be suspects yeah i would really love that yeah it's not it's not murdery but it's that kind of like She dies. It's quaint vibes. I think, you know.

I think as long as I'm happy that no one was actually killed. Maybe you could just play a really cool game of Cludeau. Yeah. That'll be more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but it's that kind of... Don't die. You know, it's very countryside.

Yes. Lots of past people on country lanes. Wow. Yes. Love that, though. Yeah, it's really different. You had lovely experiences in the shop. People were helping you lift stuff to the car.

Honestly, I went out. It was our first day in Cardiff. I was out for about three hours. I said, Stefan, I've had more interactions in the last three hours. I haven't three years. is living in Streatham like honestly people are so friendly it's just like I didn't think which is what you did it for yeah this is exactly the reason you did it for the babies and for the community and for them growing up it's going to be lovely for them growing up it's going to be such

a nice place to grow up any children in the in the area yes we've already made friends with the neighbours we've been on a play date you already they've got a four year old and a one year old so we were like let's come around for a little little play date that is adorable boys girls two boys Oh, nice. Yeah. So him and Jojo have been like playing nicely together. And then the little ones are the same age as well. He was born in April. I know.

I feel like this is like a... I know. Too good to be true. I know. I know. I was like you with your neighbours. I know. We landed lucky.

And I always thought like I'm the kind of person that's like, I don't want to chat to my neighbours. I don't want to make small talk. I want to be anonymous. I don't want anyone to talk to me. And actually I'm like, that's quite nice. It's actually really nice. Yeah. It's nice to have a community.

It's when every night we see our neighbours and they pop in. And sometimes it's like two minutes. it's maybe sometimes it's an hour and we have a little debrief sometimes the children just playing we don't get to see them because you know they're busy and they work from home and stuff but I it's when they just knocked the back door we had a curry with them the other night oh did you literally come back from um all of we were all out and then we come back and they just pop around with the curry oh and you just think this isn't is this really my life I know it's nice isn't it's really nice well we're going to have to coordinate takeaways because we live so

rurally that places don't want to deliver takeaways to us. So they were like to get people to come and deliver takeaways you need to make a really big order. So I was like well we're going to have to coordinate like on a Saturday night. You can have time like a street party. I'm going to have to be like does everyone fancy a curry at seven because we need to do like a village order to get them to deliver it. Yeah.

£200. So that a grand. He was like yeah when I order I normally have to eat the same thing for three days. Imagine you left your popadoms at number five. Any chance you can just bring me popadomso. Yeah. Right. Number 11's got the mint chutney. Yeah. The mint sauce and the mint sauce and the main coach. But that's the kind of vibe. So it's nice. I'm enjoying it. Yeah. I'm really happy for you. Thank you. You seem lighter.

Do I? Probably because I shed all those fucking tears. Yeah. I probably lost a stone in like water weight. It is stressful though, isn't it? It's so stressful. It's when I started the process and you were like, surely it can't be this hard to feel like get a grip. And then you were in knee deep. And you were like, I'm really sorry. Al should have been so straightforward as well. Like it was a short chain, all that stuff. But it's still just so stressful. I had no one in my fucking chain. I know. Obviously, I was so low in my chain. Still didn't give in my keys until 5pm though. Yeah, it's mad. It was wild. And if we didn't have anyone to, like, give, like, Stefan's sister met them in Cardiff to give them the keys, because obviously we were trailing behind them, still driving on the M4. I was like, what do people do who don't have a relative that you can just be like,

I'll go and pick up the keys for us? I was like, I just camp out the night before, put a little tent up. Yeah, yeah. It's mad. Our families have helped us a lot. We wouldn't have been able to do it without them, so big up those guys. Pick up the fams. But yeah.

Oh, congratulations. There's a lot to say. That was a lot, wasn't it? No, I feel like I could just sit all day. I know. I feel like today is... Scrap the rest of the episode. Today is all about you, honey.

Today's all about you. It's all about me. All about you. Anyway, fuck my week. Let's crack. Who cares? You've been here for two weeks. Fuck my week.

To be fair, not a lot has happened really with me. We've had parents even though since you've been away. Oh yeah. Do you know the first time ever that a teacher said to me, obviously I'm really lucky. I do get positive feedback on both babies of parents evening. But the first time the teacher actually said to me, you should be really proud of Col.

he's a wonderful lad. Don't, because I will cry. No, not again. I walked out like, the sweetest fucking thing in the whole entire world. And then when they like, but Dottie, she's a nightmare. No. Never, never.

I don't think that, she got a good review. She had a really good one, yeah, really, really lovely one. And then Colby's was really sweet. Bless his heart bit like me. He says, he's a chatterbox. Yeah. It's got a lot to say. Like his mom.

For a nine-year-old, he's got a lot of shit to say. He's got a lot to get off of his chest. But he said he's a really lovely lad. So that was pretty much summed up my whole week, to be honest. Yeah, you must be chuffed with that. I'm over the moon. I'm over the moon. But there we go.

So Emma and I really want to hear from you. Yeah, we want you to join us in the Secret Mum Club. You're all welcome. You can share your secrets with us, respond to what we've been talking about, or just say, hello. You can find us on TikTok and Instagram. Just search Secret MumPod, or you can email us, hello at secretummpod.com. Right, it's time for the...

always reminds me of finding Nemo do you speak well do you think well a little bit more raspy so Emma let's have it my love okay this one says hi gorgeous ladies oh thank you I'm a bit damped today

as in it's raining it was snowing on my way and was sleeting it was been sleeting it was full on chunky snye Was it? Yeah. You're going to get home all right? I don't think we need to worry about me anymore.

It's you. Well, I'm only going to, I'm in the air. Just going down a few tubes. Okay, ready? Yes. I was listening to the episode where the mum of twins are struggling with them hitting and biting each other. Yes.

While I don't have twins, my little one is the same age and I've worked with children with the same issues. I always see it as the child trying to communicate something. Anytime my little guy is biting or hitting or even screaming, we try to redirect him. If he bites, we say, we don't bite people. If you need to bite, say, bite please, and we hand him a teethe. Oh. Or for hitting, we'll give him his drum toy.

He might not understand, but consistency is key. We've been doing this since my little guy was only eight months old. And while not foolproof, we have noticed that he will go to bite us, stop and then search for a teetheer. So there is hope. Thank you ladies for demystifying motherhood, Emma from Canada. Oh, gosh. It's an Emma. Another Emma.

We get a lot of them, don't we? We do get a lot of Emma. But a Canadian one. She is Canadian. That's actually really good. I think it's amazing that you've stuck with it because it's hard to do, it's hard to be consistent, isn't it? It is really hard to be consistent. And sometimes I think you go through a spell, don't you, that sometimes you let it slip, you'll just go, oh, he hasn't done it for ages.

Yeah. And then you take your foot off the pedal. It's just keeping that slow, slow pressure. Yeah. And just keep on chugging along. I think they do learn, like they really do pick up on like patterns and stuff. So I think that is like a good way to go. But I think she's right.

They're trying to tell you something. Maybe they are teething or having a bad time or a little bit angry. They frustrates it. He's in a massive hitting phase at the moment. He doesn't hit anybody, but he hits things. And he'll walk into the kitchen. He'll just slam on the kitchen door. Then he walks up the hallway.

Slams on the mirror. Then he'll hit the bench as he's walking past it. He'll run and punch the sofa. And I'm like, you're right, anger issues. And then he's just like, ah! And then the middle of the room, I'm just like, wow, he really is like, he's trying to get some feelings out. Don't know what, don't know what it's happened.

So we try and do, like, I try and just pull his little arms to his side. And I'm like, do you want to just chill? And he's like, no. Okay, I'm going to leave you in here then But blocks, it'll chuck a block or a wooden car And you're like, right, back the fuck up What is happening? Yeah, Sadie can be quite destructive

I think it's when they're really at an age now Where they're trying to express themselves And they get frustrated, don't they? But the problem is, it's like, Colby gets like really angry at like his computer game And he'd be like, no, like throw himself on the bed Is it really copying him? But I think he's picking up on the bigger two's like reaction to things

Or if Dottie draws outside the line on our colouring She put the lid on and she'll slam the pen down. So I think he's picking up on what they're doing. I'm like, guys, can we just all just chill? Because the baby is double cray. Yeah. He's like taking on both they're crazy. And he's just being a normal like toddler as well.

Yeah, it's like treble cray. Yeah. Treble cray cray. But you've got to stay consistent. We don't, we don't allow it. We don't. But he doesn't hit anybody to hurt anybody just hits things. Yeah, it's the frustration, isn't it?

Yeah. That's a good idea, though. That is, Emma. Thank you so much. So you can get in touch with us on anything at all. Yeah, it can be serious. silly and you can be totally anonymous. Because between us, we've probably heard it all before and remember

we're all in this together and we know that we are, we're all stars and we see that I forgot to do the T-VX hands. I don't want to tell you that Dottie's watching high school musical but is she? Yeah, get into it. Harry Potter? I'm having to become a Harry. Harry Potter. Harry, you're a wizard, Harry. You're a wizard, Harry. Yeah, she's talking to her about her. She's into it. She's into it. Yeah, fully. Although she won't go past episode four because apparently it's too scary.

Film four, or episode four, film four. Yeah. It gets quite dark, isn't it? I don't know, I haven't watched them. They're always on TV. I've watched them accidentally because they're always on ITV too. Accident. Oh, we just accidentally sat here for three hours.

Oh, no, I've accidentally watched another Harry Potter film. I did see one of them in the cinema, but I don't know what's going on because I haven't read the books. I won't get back. She doesn't like it when Ron vomits a slug or something. She keeps selling me all this stuff and I now think I'm, she says I'm a hufflepuff, though. Yeah, I think you'd be a huffel puff. I think that's cutsy, buttootsy. Yeah. She says I'm a Hufflepuff.

I think I'd be a Gryffindor. What's she? Hufflepuff because I'm cool. She says she's a Gryffindor. I don't know what that means. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She also, you can't pick your wand. No. The one chooses she. She uses year, yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Now I just have to role play Harry Potter and I've got no idea what I'm doing. She was like, Mom, that's giving Slythering. I'm like, yeah.

It's giving Slithering. Voldemore is Boldemore. Oh, here comes Boldemortemore. She was like, like, Chris is coming in the room. Here's Baltimore. And I'm like, no, it's Voldemort. And she's like, no, mummy, he's bold. Oh, it does make more sense. It does.

And then you question yourself and I'm like, oh, sorry, I didn't realize I got that wrong. I said to Roxanne. Oh, Boldermore, she's like, Safina, it's a Voldemore. I knew it was Voldemore. She gaslit me into thinking of Voldemore because he's got my head. But her logic is better. Yeah, it works, isn't it? Yeah.

Right, you ready for the secret of the week? Sharkerton, I've mine is Emma's. I feel like you've got so much to tell us. I've got too much to say. Honestly, people are going to be sick at the sound of my body. secret this week. I've got one that you said's going to trigger me. I've got one that you're not going to believe.

Oh, okay. I don't, am I ready for it? Am I going to believe it? I don't think you're, no, I don't think you are going to believe it. Okay. I'm going to try and not over react. So I am hung over because I was out last night. Guess who with, guess who with?

You were hung over, hold on. Yeah. It was a Wednesday. On a Wednesday. You went out on a Tuesday night. How was that in London? Yeah, it was good. Was it?

Yeah, it was buzzing, yeah. Right, person you went out with Do I know them? No, I think you know of them That we have spoken about them before Oh And I told this person I'm going to talk about this on the podcast tomorrow

Because Safina is not going to believe it So the person knows me? Yeah, of me or... Well, it doesn't know you, just know I do the podcast with you. Right, okay Okay I literally have no fucking idea

Okay Are you famous? No Oh No, no, no Your mum? No, your dad No, cussies

No Stefan's mom No I'm at I was in London Okay Where is she? Wales

Okay ready I was out Oh god My ex-boyfriend Oh fuck sake Emma Jones You're in London for two weeks You got out with you

What? Day two I was like I'm ready to see my ex-boyfriend Fuck off No we had it planned for like a long time Because I was like I'm going to be back in London He was like I should get a drink

Before you move to Wales permanently So yeah So we went on Emma, went on a date. Stop it now. You're pulling my penis. You're lying to me. I will say, Stefan knows about this.

Did you tell him before you were after? It's all out in the open. No, before. I was like, I'll be meeting up with, like, I'm going to say his name. I mean, I'm at with George when I'm down there. And he's fine with him. He's still friends with his ex-girlfriend. It's fine.

We've all moved on. It's been a long time. Is he out drinking with her? He would go for her like a... Would he? He would go for a drink with her. Would he? Yes.

He would be allowed to. It's given Madeline. It's given. Who's Madeline? Who the fuck is Madeline? Who the fuck is Madeline? I think his wife knows as well. What?

I hope so. He's married? Yes. You never told me this. That makes it better. We're both married with our own children. Emma. Right.

Get his wife on here. Get his wife on here. I feel like when you speak to his wife. She obviously knows. Does she though? Well, he was working down in London and staying in a hotel. So it could look bad. I can't.

But look, so we actually had this conversation last night. I'm actually sweating. I'm sweating. Don't panic. It's fine. I said to him last night, Safina is not going to believe this. He was like, why is it weird?

Like, we were, A, went out ages ago. B, we were good friends before we even went out with each other. So I feel like that's normal to be like, I asked someone at work today. Matt, are you hanging out with your ex? Mays. Rosie. No one's hanging out with their ex.

But I asked someone at work today at my other work and they were like totally normal, like, totally fine. I'm really, really sweating for you. I told someone else at work. And they were like, is it a secret? I was like, no. So what does everyone think absolutely? Well, one person said, fine, totally normal.

But the rest of the room. Someone else was like, should this be a secret? Can we talk about it on air? And I was like, it's not secret. Like, my husband knows and is fine with it. Am I overreactive? It's just nice to catch up with someone that you, because also I don't have it.

Have sex with. It's really nice. What makes you think we ever had sex? I just assumed. Did you have sex? Yeah, no, obviously. She loves a bit of her. No, but I just think, look, I don't have a connection back to, like, my past or school or anything.

I'm not friends. I'm not friends. Yeah, but he wasn't a nice guy. George is a nice guy. It's so funny. He's not, George. Hold on, my ex is a really nice, well, only one of them is a really nice guy. The other ones in between him. The one that your family loved.

Yeah. Darrell, we loved Darrell. Happy to him. Happy to him. Oh, bless us up. Like, I would, stop and talk to Daryl and ask him about his little boy. Yeah. And ask about his mom and his brother.

others like I would do that I just wouldn't be going to be going for drinks I'm not boozing and cruising with him no love you darrell god bless your art yeah it's fair enough like each to their own but what we're saying was like I don't have I'm not friends with anyone from school so I don't still have a link back to my past through anyone apart from him really I would just not even go near them with a barge pole one of them's moved away thank heavens you don't have to see them because you live in like a town where people know each other as well so you do you bump do you see them no you don't bum into them thank goodness are all away I just think it's like it's luck of the draw

like some exes are assholes and some exes are nice you know and he's a nice guy of both yeah yeah exactly I've only had one boyfriend it's when I was when Eden says because we've been talking about because now they're getting bigger

and they're getting girlfriends and getting boyfriends have they well it's obviously inevitable it's going to happen like Tobias is talking to girls and Eden talks to boys now that she's at college

like it's like the next phase of their life isn't it oh god we have to be prepared for this but the other day Eden was like which ex are we talking talking about auntie? All right, there wasn't that many. Let me get my list out.

Whoa! What have you got four? Four? Four? One, two, three. Four. Yeah. And then Chris. Yeah. Chris is my fifth. Yeah. Yeah. Is that a lot?

No. No. I think that's like totally normal. I'm single digits as to like counts. Yeah. Yeah. Remember people used to try and like get up into double digits to be like get your number as high as possible. What is it, what was it called? Not Notches.

Yeah, like notches on the bedpost. That's what it's called. When you used to meet somebody on a night out And they'd be like Slip with 100 people And you'd be like I know people that claim to be in like triple figures That's wild isn't it

That is a bit wild But I suppose If you've been having safe and you're having a great time And if you've been having sex for 20 years That's not that many If you spread it over all that time But what's 100 in 20 years Five a year

Five a year That's not even one every two months Is that the right math? I don't know That's really quick math I think that's fine I think that's okay Yeah

I think so Who knows? You know, as long as you're being safe and you're happy, then what harm are you doing? Yeah, exactly. But me talk to my ex absolutely no fucking way. Well, anyway, I had a nice time, but I should not have had, I should not have had five drinks.

I cannot handle that anymore. I was, I was drunk and hung over. Did he take you home like a gent? No. Oh. No, left him at the hotel, joking. Bloody Nora! Jakes!

Did you walk him back? No, I just got on the tube and was like, peace out, see you and ever. This is the thing is why I wanted to see him. because I might actually like never see each other now. Like we'd meet up if we're both in London but that's probably not going to happen anymore, you know? So you just used him while you're in London?

If I have a nice life. Oh, Emma, I can't, I can't. No, I'll maybe meet up with them. I'm proud of you though. I was talking about maybe doing like a mini school reunion in a couple of years. I might see him then, like meet up with all my old friends and stuff. So you see your ex but not your actual friends?

I'm not friends with anyone from school. That's what I'm saying. He's my only link to my past. So it's quite nice to like reminisce and stuff about school because I don't have anyone to do that with. I have any girlfriends or anything. his wife, no. I feel like she...

Imagine she doesn't. I feel like he's pretty open with her. I see him cool. Okay. Yeah. You don't ever go out as a foursome? No, never met. No.

I think that would be weirder. Wouldn't it? No. That would be way, make way more sense. Would it? I mean, I'd go for a drink with her. She seems nice.

But what about Stefan and him? Yeah, they'd get on. Everyone's just nice, you know, mature, reasonable people. I'm not mature, clearly. Okay. You're very unreasonable. I'm very, very. Very unreasonable.

I guess because it's not my normal. Exactly. And I think people fall into one of two camps. It'd be interesting to hear from listening. I just don't know how I'd feel if I'd just... Yeah, your name. Meeting up with your ex. Just talking to Daryl and then Chris went, oh, who's that?

Oh, Daryl, Chris, Chris, Daryl. Would Chris be weird about it? No, because Chris is like chiller than a cucumber. So horizontal. I'd be like, oh, I'm going to shit myself. It's weird. Weird. Yeah, well.

Well, it's not weird. Let me know. But it just, I think. in my case with my exes. It depends on the guy. I think Chris would punch one of them in the face if you saw him. Do you think?

Yeah, it was vital to Chris though. Oh. Was this the one right before Chris? Yeah. Very horrid, horrid human. Yeah, I mean, fair enough. Yeah. But like, I'm just talking about like...

A nice, genuine bloke. A sweet, like, you know. I think I'd feel better maybe if you hadn't have had sex. Because that's quite intimate, isn't it? Yeah, but it's obviously like so many years ago. Yeah. You're not really thinking about that. Yeah.

You know. But any who? Anyway, so that's that's that's the secret of the week Got fugged up with my ex I've always that would be a real secret Yeah He doesn't listen anyway He doesn't, I was going to say he'd never find out

No, he did know And you know, respect Fully supportive of it Respect to Stefan for being supportive of the friendship What a great guy Yeah Couldn't love him anymore could we? No

We do love him Ended up with the right one Oh crumbs I don't know what you were saying Then I was like, pardon Ended up as a freesome Great. Everyone was going.

No, seriously, though. Well, that's Emma's secret this week. And we'll get into some of yours after this short break. We've got three secrets from you we're going to be discussing this week. So Emma, take it away with number one, please. All right, this one says, hi, ladies. I just wanted to email to say, how much joy your podcast has brought me this year. Oh, thanks.

Thank you. I discovered you with your mash-up with the lovely sexted boys. I might be one of your most random listeners being a 30-year-old gay man, but hey-ho. No, we welcome everybody. Everybody's welcome. Everyone. I've always been family-oriented as I come from a big family, and I've always dreamed of raising my own kids. However, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to find a partner with the same goals.

I have a very close bond with my family, so we'd always have support on that journey, but I wonder if maybe I should take the leap and adopt or surrogate my own mini-me as a single parent. I'd love to hear your thoughts, and any single parent adoption stories from your other list. And it's all my love, Joseph. Joseph, yes, yes, yes. Do you know what? Without mentioning any names, I've actually got a friend that's just had a baby. And she is turning 40 and she just decided that she was sick of waiting for the right person.

So she actually has just done it all on her own. She's had him. He's in the world. He's beautiful. But she's doing it solo because she was just fed up of waiting for the right person. What does she do? A spam donor? Yeah.

Oh, wow. Just spam donor. And it's doing it all. Obviously, I know Joseph's journey maybe a little bit more. harder to get a saragor or adopt or however the journey is. But I'm here for it. I found her journey so incredibly empowering. Yeah.

Like just labouring, carrying the baby on her own, doing it all on her own, running her own business, she's got her own business, having the baby, birthing the baby, she's doing it single-handedly. Wow. And I just think, yes, sister. Yeah. And I think, Joseph, you can do it. Yeah.

Do it. Yeah, why not? Fuck wait for anyone else. And if there is the person that comes along in the meantime, after you've had your or created your or adopted your little mini me however that makes you dad I just think that person will be the right person that will just have to slot in yeah or you could meet someone that that wants the same thing but I wonder whether this might be a huge generalisation but with gay men whether it's less common for them to want to have kids because it's not like

if you meet like I've always felt like very maternal I always knew that I definitely wanted to have children but that's not the end goal probably for a lot of men like I wouldn't say this is criteria when I was dating like I need to know if you want a family because that is something that I really want. It's like non-negotiable. Yeah it's non-negotiable but I think like for example if I do like a quick straw poll with gay couples I know like some of them have kids but definitely most of them don't and I wonder whether that's like if you're meeting someone you know if you're meeting other guys maybe they're like yeah I don't really see that in my future social media so I Obviously, my best friend, Rebecca and her soon-to-be wife, they want babies.

But I don't know whether that is. Is it more common for women? For women to have a baby. But then there's so much on social media that there's, I can't remember his name now. Who's the guy that did, I want to say his surname's Frisbee? Adam. Yeah, isn't it? Is his name, Adam?

He did, he was the owner of in the style. He's having a baby, isn't he? He is having a baby. Yeah, yeah, with his partner. And get an awful amount of hate. Is he? Along with, I think there's pros and cons. But I think it's so wonderful that there is people documenting it.

I feel like social media is so beautiful for showing that anything is possible. You can do anything. But again, I also do believe that there's so much in the media that puts way unnecessary pressure on us, you know. But I think go for it. And I think you have to. This is your life. If you're sure that you really want it, then there's no reason why you can't do it on your own. You only get one shot at this life.

And I think if it's something that you really, really want. And if you're not right now finding that person or have found that person, you have to focus on you. Yeah. And if that's something that you really, really want, I think you should do it. Also, it's not to say that you might not meet someone later on. And then they can come into the family, but you might already have your baby. But I would love some advice if anybody knows of anybody or you've personally been through this.

Yeah. Or done this yourself. Or maybe been a surrogate for somebody. I would love to be able to share more. more information on to Joseph. Yeah. How wonderful. Welcome to the fam, Joseph.

Jojo. You hope you're loving this. Jojo. It's another little Jojo. No, a little Jojo. It's a big Jojo. I hope he doesn't mind me abbreviate in his name. I was going to say.

Some people are funny about that. Okay. Yeah. I don't think I've ever come across anybody funny. You know, some people you'd be like, like my mum's name's Nicola, but if people call her Nicky, I don't know. But she likes Nick. Yeah.

Yeah. But then you can't just assume about. But then that's the same as me, isn't it? I'm Safina. Love Sofe. Don't like Sophie. Yeah. Not that I don't like the name, Sophie. I just don't like being called to Sophie. Well, it's not your name, is it? No, and I feel like Sophie is a name of its own.

Yeah. Your name? Yeah. But yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you. We love having you here. Okay, let's roll into secret number two. All right, this says, hi girls. I'm a first-time mum to a little nine-month-old boy. My little one is very attached to me and will only ever want me if he's sad, tired, or her in any way. On one hand, I love it because I know I'm his safety net, but at the same time, I don't get any time to myself. If I ask his dad to step in, Emerson, my son, will scream and cry until he's breathless, which doesn't make it enjoyable for any of us. It's got to the point where I don't want to leave him with his dad overnight because I worry he won't settle and then they'll both be stressed and I'll feel guilty.

My partner really does try to settle emerson, but I can't sit and listen to him cry knowing he would settle almost instantly with me. It breaks my heart. Have either of you experienced this and how did you overcome it? Should I expect him to grow out of it from Mercedes in Anglesey? Yes, Colby. Tough one, yeah. I literally remember, right? Colby, I don't know how old he was. He must have been about maybe three, four months old. And I, bear in mind he was really, really poorly Colby when he was first born. I used to hold him because he was, he used to vomit really badly, have a reflux, could never sleep. So I basically held him for about 17 hours of a day. Chris was going out to work then. So I would literally just hold Colby or wear him all day. every day. I was exhausted. I was so drained. I used to try and pass Colby over to Chris,

but then Chris would get really, really anxious. He'd start panicking, which then Colby would feel, because they feel it, don't they? They feel all the emotions. So Colby then used to get more stressed and together, and then Colby used to do exactly the same as Emerson, hold his breath, go purple, stop breathing, and then I used to get stressed, and it would just be utter chaos in the house. And I remember one time that I got in the car, Colby, was asleep and I said to Chris you know what I've been in all day for months weeks I don't think I'd been outside so I said I'm going to literally drive to Toys R Us and get a bouncer because they had a little bouncer down there I was happily in the car like trying to like get myself

through like the motion of going in the car going to the shop leaving him the whole process was just leaving him and I was fucking stressed out my eyeballs but I was in the car and I was singing along then Chris called me I could hear Colby screaming in the background Chris was like I don't know what the fuck can do. I can't do anything. I'm holding him. I'm stressed out. And I literally panicked.

Then Chris was like, he's not fucking breathing. I can't tell you the journey back. I'd done a loop. I'd gone from my house, two toys of us, gone past Toys R Us, back home and got back out of the car.

Did you get the bouncer? And I was stuck in traffic. I didn't get the bouncer. I didn't do nothing. I got in, picked Colby up or took Colby off Chris and held him and he instantly stopped. And I thought,

you know what? I'm never fucking doing that ever again. And you didn't? And I've rid it out. I did ride it out. Yeah. But it's a lot when you're the parent that like has to do it all. It's just so overstimulating. Yeah. It's exhausting. Yeah. It's exhausting. You're shattered. But it does.

I want to say it does get better. I don't want to. That sounds cliche to say. But I just rid it out. Yeah. Just rid it out. And I just thought there's going to be a day when it's going to be dad's time. And then we moved on. Once Colby Tan won, Chris was able to do bath time and bedtime. And then I felt like it was their time to have their relationship. And then from him being. and sort of one, just over one, they formed a really strong bond. But Chris really struggled with Colby at the start because he just couldn't have a relationship with him. He felt really detached from me because all the time I was holding Colby,

he felt detached from the baby. And he really struggled with feeling like he was left out. We couldn't go anywhere. We couldn't go out as a family because Colby wasn't able to travel in the car because he used to vomit so bad. And then the position of the car seat in the car, he would choke on his vomit.

It was honestly was possibly the most of a stress stressful year of my life but once he was walking, eating solids, it did get better and they formed and now have the most incredible relationship. But Chris really struggled. I think people worry that like if you leave it too late, you'll be like, oh, they're going to miss that window to like bond with the baby, but you can bring it back. You can bring it back. Yeah. Yeah, definitely bring it back. Yeah. I think you can really stress yourself out by being like, like, like with bedtime. I need to be like not the only one that can do this. Like they need to go down to bed for Stefan as well. and you can like really stress yourself

and it'll be a more traumatic bedtime for them and I'm like, no but we need to like get through it it was a bit more like that with like the first baby and then by second baby I was like do you know what I've chilled out of it like it'll work itself out it'll be fine. We did small bursts with Colby obviously he was my first baby

I was stressed as well as it is being I had no clue what I was doing but I used to do short bursts like after that one instant that was absolutely fucking traumatising I used to say to Chris we've got to try and do something so I'd just go and sit in the other room for five minutes

not allowing Colby to cry and then I would just take him back off of Chris and then the next day we'd do another five minutes and then we'd try and stretch it to 10 minutes but 10 minutes was a bit too far because Chris's heart rate used to increase so when he was holding him but once he was sitting and smiling

and stuff like that but then he was just obviously fully attached to fully attached to me yeah that's a good idea that get them to spend a bit of time together while you're still there just yeah have a quick shower or try and watch a film or just sit in the other room obviously it's a lot of pressure because then you are separate as two people rather than you bonding.

Yeah. But it's, it worked for us. Yeah. So again, if anybody's been through it, like us, then do let your stories be heard. Yeah. And we'll share them on and help Mercedes in any way that we can. And if you are also in the same position as Mercedes, I hope you're doing okay. But we hopefully will get some lovely stories back home.

Yeah, I'm sure it's a really common thing. Yeah. Common thing. Right. Let's have our last secret please. Hello ladies When my little boy was one and a half He finally did a poo in the potty

It was a massive deal Because he was so shy And would only ever poo in his nappy While hiding behind something At the time My other little one was about nine months old I was so happy for my eldest That I scooped him up for a cuddle

Completely unaware of what his brother was doing I looked over and noticed He had something black coming out of his mouth And it hit me He ate the poo out of the potty He's just eaten his brother's shit Oh my God Why was it black?

maybe too many blueberries oh my Christ too much Marmite I was screaming I wiped both boys down then phoned NHS 24 they said he should be fine but to keep an eye on him

I was absolutely mortified love from Shannon in Scotland Shannon what the hellie that is a lot isn't it can you imagine her excitement in picking him up

you did I put on the pub oh shit oh shit that's like a that's one and the other isn't it you're really really excited but you're also really stressing.

I feel like that's classic parenting. You're like trying to celebrate one moment, but something's going horribly wrong somewhere else and you're like, I don't know where to be right now. Oh no. He ate poo. But like totally, totally fine. I don't know if the other baby was sick.

I suppose you can eat. Like, I know animal poo is really dangerous for children. But I guess like if you're eating another humans poo, it's just food, isn't it? Oh, gone, no, sorry. Sorry. No. Disgustan.

Oh, she's Scottish as well. I wish you to do a good disgustin. Oh, people do drink their wee, though, don't they? Yeah, you can. And maybe go stretches, maybe try my wee. Like a, um, or maybe not. Like a survival thing, like bare grills. I'm not eating my shit.

I'm not churning that back out and then, I'm, I'm chowing down that. But you'd rather do your own than someone else's, though. Oh, no, no. No, I couldn't eat someone else's poo. I could eat someone else's poo. No. I couldn't drink no one else's way. Just yours, yeah.

Oh my, holy moly, Shannon. I hope you're okay. after that. I would be reaching. I think I would have vomited. I started when I picked Joseph up after the Moffa Comedy. He did that massive log on the carpet. Do you remember that? And we were like, yeah, he's done a poo. But then also I was like, I said out, you just stepped in that.

It's when Rennie ate that dog poo leaf off the pram wheel. Oh, I couldn't get that smell. Oh, oh, God. Even now I can taste it in the back of my throat. The smell of his mouth for so long of dog shit. Oh, God. Oh, my God. No, Shannon.

My eyes are watering at the thought of fucking all this poo. Holy, what is wrong with these babies? Why are they just chowing down on shit? Yeah, won't it a vegetable? But then it's a fucking, that he's shit. I don't eat a lumb of shit. Gosh. What is wrong with you?

Oh, crumbs. Well, Shanna, I hope you survive that because I think I would be traumatized. I'm traumatized after dog poo. I don't know about other human poo. Oh, no. You've got to tell him, though, when he grows up. Oh, yeah. Was it another little boy?

She did say that little boy, yeah. Yeah. Oh, well, thank you for sharing your secrets this week. Everyone is welcome in the Secret Mum Club. If you'd like to share your secrets with us, you can, the email is hello at secret mumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. Are you going out with your ex? Just like Emma is?

Every weekend? That sounds worse than it is. Or is your baby showed down on poo? Let us know. There really is nothing too outrageous. Keep an eye out for our Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club. Oh!