Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Studio Soirée

Episode Date: May 16, 2024

After three months and fifteen home records, the ladies are finally reunited (and it feels so good)! But they're not the only ones in the studio. We've got two new faces on the block, and it's safe to say, they're definitely going to be the new stars of the Secret Mum Club! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello this is the secret mom club i'm sophina and i'm emma and welcome to your thursday episode back in the studio how nice to see your face and not be on a delay how nice to touch you i've never wanted to touch you so much i know i squashed you i squashed your baby oh we just say he's here she's here she's in the pram she's in the background hopefully staying asleep emma wants to just sleep for the whole for three hours fingers crossed for the whole two hours i just can't get over how it was so nostalgic walking in i know it feels like we've hardly been away i mean we hardly have really we've only had like a month's maternity leave but we both actually had babies

yeah like i feel like yours actually looked like you was having a baby me questionable is she just she's just packing on the pounds or is she birthing a human birth to human surprise your birth story more than made up for it yes yeah your week-long stint in hospital i think you two two weeks one before one after yeah yeah had a little wild little trip in there before didn't i but it feels nice to be back doesn't it how was the like journey in it was yeah it was all right i mean i've got this bloody double buggy with me everywhere i go now which is she made an entrance into the studio by just taking everything fucking out off the shelves just like just clattering into everything wherever i go now it's just i can't i meant to ask you though have you ever had the

i had it on the double stroller because it was so wide um colby used to just put his hand out in the shelf like shampoos and just so i'll be pushing looking the other way and just the whole shop supermarket sweep yeah joseph hasn't started doing that yet but the seats are so narrow that i actually don't feel like they can move their arms they're like very it's a very narrow double it's the narrowest double buggy you could get and it's the only one we could get because it's the only one that fits through the front door so it's very narrow so the babies can't really move their arms in it they're kind of just like sadie looks like a t-rex she is like a barbie arms hello yeah yeah no they always say imagine a t-rex making the bed that's sadie they can't move in it but most of the time i don't

have joseph in it i'm just out with just sadie in the double buggy and you fit scare everybody thinking that they yeah i like to pretend that i've lost a child but some people find that funnier than others i find it hilarious i left him in the shop i'm like fucking what a woman the first question i get is twins i'm like no and then they'll be like oh where's your other baby? And I'm always like, oh, shit. Is he not in there? Oh, God. No, he's at home with his dad. So just put a hand up. Don't forget I'm here. And me.

Don't forget about me. But no, it was quite nice walking in. And the sun's out today as well. So it's finally stopped fucking raining. All right, don't speak too soon. It's raining and stuff. We'll come out and there'll be fucking thunderstorms. How was your journey?

You had little I did a cheeky little treat yourself I did I did a cheeky little hotel stay cheeky little stay didn't I? well how was that? overnight's absolutely delightful

Renly's first hotel? Renly's first hotel I feel like everything at the moment is like a Renly first yeah we took him to the zoo the other day that Coby was mad about because he was like

why are we taking him to the zoo yeah what's the point didn't even open his eyes didn't even know we were here yeah so I basically brought him to London he's got no idea where he is no he didn't even open his eyes didn't even know we were here so I basically brought him to London he's got no idea

where he is he doesn't know about the tube the tube doesn't phase him he went on the train for the first time took a picture of him on the train asleep

on the tube asleep in the hotel asleep first dinner in the hotel asleep he loved it here we are first day in the studio

asleep he's buzzing this is when it's easy to do stuff with them though isn't it this is what's made me realise doing when it's easy to do stuff with them though, isn't it? This is what's made me realise that doing stuff with the toddler, nightmare, doing stuff with the newborn, piss easy. So easy.

Have you had to do the piss on the toilet yet holding the baby? Yeah. I've actually did my first poo the other day. I do fear the poo particles in their eye, a bit of pink eye. I always think, oh fuck. Or you try and cover their mouth. Don't breathe it in. My shit's...

Sorry. That curry right through me. I feel try and cover their mouth. Don't breathe it in. My shit stinks. Sorry. That curry right through me. I feel like babies don't care. They don't care when you're weeing, pooing. They don't care if you smell a B.O. No, no, no. Colby just walks in and my poo stinks. I'm like, dude, this is not really burning your eyes.

And he's like, didn't even notice, to be honest. You're like, what the fuck? Maybe there's something about if you're related, it doesn't bother you. Maybe they're immune to your own do you know what funny you should say that right the other day i was with my sister and all of us were together someone farted but you know when you sniff a fart and you're like that is not somebody i know yes my niece my niece had farted and i was like fucking isn't it weird my sister went oh i didn't even notice because you're so immune to your own farts i think it's by you know like how households have a smell yeah i think households have a

fart smell as well like when you smell one you'd be like because we're all that's one of ours food yeah so you fart and i can even tell the difference between colby and now renly but colby and dots as farts when chris is like oh god who's farting i'm like that's dots and she's like how did you know i can smell your fart yeah i know what it smells well maybe they've grown up on your shit for so long that they're immune to it now the smell just all full of the same fucking shit but now here we have a little night little night stay so it wasn't really our true journey in to be honest no just three stops on the tube yeah yeah and it was quite relaxing we just we just woke up casually yeah morning breakfast in

the room room service yeah a bit of room service i'm jealous to be honest i'm jealous of myself yeah and you want to know something even funny i'm fucking staying another night oh yeah staying tonight as well yeah i don't want to say right now i'm living but i'm fucking living oh i want a bit of that second L-I-V-I-N. Living. Oh, I want to be in there. I took it there for a second. Did I spell that right? L-I-V-I-N. I just dropped the G to be cool. To be hip. To be down with the kids.

But how is life? We're fast approaching your six weeks. Our six weeks. Your eight or nine? We'll be eight on Saturday. Yeah. So you're two weeks ahead of us, aren't you? Yeah. so six weeks

we've got like the six week check and stuff coming up and we were saying this weren't we this morning we're two weeks so we're doing everything together now because renny's a yeah we're two weeks behind so we both have our six week checkup yes even though you're eight weeks adjusted you're six weeks yeah because they're the same yes so they should get like a weigh-in and stuff at this next one i think we're having jabbies on our next one because the only thing when you have a preemie baby the only thing that they don't adjust is your immunities immunization let's just say jabs injections um yes so that's the only thing they don't change that's eight weeks isn't it but

we're going we're having a whole mot i'm getting my six weeks he's getting a six and jab all one appointment mum gets checked out as well yeah i don't know they don't want to see anything do they i don't know they don't see my bum or anything i don't know maybe i'll just say it's great it depends on the doctor just lie what they ask for i don't know i'm hoping i get my like scar checked over i'll check it do you want me to have a look it looks fine but it's got a little bit i feel like i've gone backwards a little bit it's got a little bit sore like the last week or so i think probably what it was was i was like really careful about not doing too much for a couple of weeks and then i just launched

straight back into it i am lifting joseph up and everything like folding down the buggy just like just doing too much going back to my normal life and being active six weeks are you okay i know but i felt fine to be doing stuff and i think actually now that's come back to bite me in the ass because i it is it's quite sore now well you know i should have listened because they say six weeks to get over it no 12 weeks isn't it i'm just gonna say it's like fucking yeah three months isn't it is it for a cesarean they say i think you can exercise six weeks after a vaginal birth, but 12 weeks after a cesarean, I think. Oh, I don't know.

I've been running. I know. You're on a regime, aren't you? I know. I do feel like my ass is falling out, though. I'm not going to lie to you. How's the bladder? My foofoo really hurts.

Like, your scar hurting is my foofoo. Do you know what? I also did knee kicks the other day because I had to do it as part of my little workout hit workout thing my fanny was clapping me like a round of applause oh no i just that reminds me the message we had a couple of weeks last week it's full on claps ass clapping and i did it in the shower at the hotel this morning just to see if it still did it and learn me i'll just give myself a round of applause i was washing my butt it's horrendous. It's so bad.

I can't believe you're back on running, hit workouts and a calorie deficit. I just, I am. Honestly, I'm eating more calories than ever. I'm not saying I'm in a, well, I say I'm in a calorie deficit. I'm just trying to be a bit more mindful because, and this is really hard. It's what I think people think is when you have a baby, like I find my body disgusting. It's not that I find my body disgusting. I'm very proud of my body and I am still very confident the only thing I will say is I'm very uncomfortable like physically

because I think people take for granted people are like oh you talk about body positivity but here you are running and dieting and you're like no dickhead also like that's not a bad thing you're allowed to take care of yourself I just want to be the healthiest version of myself and right now I'm uncomfortable yeah in my body but that's not to say i don't love my body yeah and in extreme extremely proud of it i think people just seems like people just think oh she's had a baby now let's attack her while she's really weak but you know what bitches i'm stronger than ever i've got a bit of phlegm on my tongue then soz if you saw that and also safina's, don't come at me about my discoloured teeth. I know my teeth are going yellow.

No one's literally messaged me about your teeth, you weirdo. Really? Show me your teeth. They're not even discoloured. I feel like this happened to me last time I had a baby and it's rank. But do you know what I think it is? Some days I literally don't get around

to brushing my teeth twice a day and that's what it is. It happened when I had Joseph as well. I think that's quite a normal thing. The only thing I will say is with mine is I really have no choice to brushing my teeth twice a day and that's what it is it happened when i had joseph as well the only thing i will say is with mine is i i really have no choice because i'm also back on my whitening gel so in the morning i have to take them out and wash my retainers and i'm not gonna lie i'm obsessed with wearing them i still have to wear mine at night i feel like i'm on the streets

and i'm just gonna like people will be fearful of me because i'm just gonna hope no one knows i'm gonna start throwing fists you know do you feel like you're wearing a um gum shield like i'm just like yeah no i was gonna say a um what's it when people have like a gold like a silver no a grill do you feel like you're wearing a grill no i just feel like i'm wearing a gum shirt that people think i've just stepped out the ring and i'm just gonna fucking start throwing a rugby tackle him start fucking fighting bitches the reason why i said that was because your teeth look so white and fantastic i'm not gonna i've they really do i've been back thank you yeah i don't i'm trying to take a compliment you know i just yeah embrace it i really love them so much every time i'm just like this just to really get my money's worth you. I try not to show mine and you're showing yours as much as possible.

I show double layers. Get the little ones in there. Get them all in there. Sorry, Renly. I feel like a fucking caged bird. I haven't been out in so long. Doesn't it feel really weird? Also, you've got Renly in the little carrier

and he's probably getting spit all over his head. He's used to it now. I just put his little shades on you know blocking out the haters and my mum's saliva um but no i do feel i feel a little bit giddy today i do i just feel excited to be out i just feel so excited to see you like hugging everybody today i know i forgot i had the baby i was like yeah bring it in bring it in well you made a point like we probably bumped bumps more when they were bumps than when they were babies I got trolled didn't I on the internet

the other day because I'd done the dance when I was jumping around with Renly oh yeah for that lovely that lovely Irish lad love his name

Casper I think his name's Casper okay he's brought out a song The Friendly Ghost no another Casper he's a lovely Irish

he's an Irish lad and his songs go viral right on socials so I was it's really it's really catchy. It's a real bop.

So I was just bopping away and everyone was like, God. The most dangerous thing you could ever message somebody is like, oh, that's shaky baby. That's shaky baby syndrome. I'll get my child taken away from me. I'm literally dancing in the video. Do you know he was more shooken up in my stomach? Yeah.

And he was fucking upside down. I don't understand. I was holding him by his ankles and fucking whirling him around the room he's just in my arm i was having a little bop got trolled for that didn't i online can't do anything mate fucking hell but yeah i had um had a little bop on that on the um internet that's all yeah people are on high alert at the moment with my parenting skills because it's not like i've had another two that i've raised for the last seven years yeah yeah it's not my first rodeo another two that I've raised for the last seven years. Yeah, yeah. It's not my first rodeo. It is according to some people.

I think they just immaculately walked out my vagina that size, I think people think. You just birthed them all at the same time. Walked out with a fucking mortgage and a three-bed mask. But no, it is nice, isn't it? It's lovely to be here. It is nice. Yeah. Feels very strange.

It does. But nice strange. Strange, but like so right. So nice we can just touch each other. I know. It's weird. Feels like it's COVID, doesn't it? It does strange strange but like so right so nice we can just touch each other i know it's weird it feels like it's covered doesn't it it does feel a bit like i'm ever mocking that no but it feels like we haven't seen people for a long time and then you're suddenly allowed to and because we've been seeing each other on screen as well it's like literally like when we were in lockdown it was like lockdown it was like zoom zoom times yeah zoom times and now and now we we're all in sync we're back i want that's

backstreet backstreet boys we're back bitches i'm so excited to be back in the studio me too so to mark this momentum occasion is it momentum momentum momentous yeah so mark this fucking incredible day. We're going to pop in bottles in our ass. Is it in our ass? In the ice. Oh, pop in bottles in our ass. No one do that because. Pop in bottles in my ass is a different song. It's kind of a different day out really.

Different vibe. And please don't pop bottles in your bum. We're back on it for the first time in, well I say for the first time, I've been drinking since the baby was born, but... Oh, I was going to say, yeah. Ready? I drink every night.

Hey! Whoa! Holy, holy moly! Oh, I'm really... Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry, darling. That was a little bit too...

That's how Dad feels every time I pop a bottle. He's like, I'll fuck a bottle, Daddy! Here she goes again They're fucking okay It's my turn To look after the baby Oh fuck What was that

Your foo-foo Falling apart Studio's falling apart Hey So your foo-foo Cheers Hold on wait We can't actually clink

We're too far Hang on Hey Up yours Down the hatch Do you know last time Fucking naked had joseph i was like really wasn't bothered about drinking again after having the baby since having her i've been on the sauce every bloody day and the last time we drank we were both pregnant and didn't know yeah and then i cried about it they turned out all right. Well, give them a tug.

That was so funny that time you cried. Remember that? Cry? I never cry. You basically did to a man. We're still trying to find Emma's tear duct. I don't have a heart. I'm trying to find Emma's tear duct.

I don't have a heart. You know that. Where's those tear ducts at? We'll find them one day. You must have cried when you had the baby. I actually didn't cry with this baby. Oh, fuck off. I know.

And I was actually really disappointed. I was looking forward to crying again because it's the only time in my life it's going to happen. So you cried for Joseph but not for Sadie? I know, I feel bad about it. Sadie, keep this on record, babes. I know. I cried.

I think it's a first baby, second baby thing. Like, first baby totally turns your world upside down. Hormones are raging. Second baby, I was like, this is not a baby you know no i cried every child and then chris cried and i cried at chris crying then my sister crying and cried at my sister crying at crying no my hormones just didn't turn up this time i was disappointed they didn't arrive you really are dry i know drier than the sahara i'm happy and all, but no tears. So we'll be back first thing on Monday.

Until then, if you have any secrets or correspondence for us, you can email us hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And we can finally

do this bit in time. Yes. Are you ready? I can't wait. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mump Club. Fucking nailed it, bitches.

Smash it.