Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Summer Begins!

Episode Date: July 25, 2024

It's official... Schools out for summer! And the ladies want to know your plans for the summer holidays! Let us know whether you're getting crafty with the children, taking them on walks, or going awa...y for a week! You can email hello@secretmumpod.com or send us a message on our Instagram @secretmumpod. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 hello this is the secret mom club i'm safina and i'm emma and welcome to your thursday's episode and the start of the summer holidays can you bloody believe it's already here crazy isn't it well we're still going to hear about all the extra bits and bobs from your week all of the comments thoughts questions and fun stories to keep you going through the weekend. Although, every day is pretty much the weekend now. So shall we jump on in? So. Oh, that sounded serious.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Are you going to tell me off? Yeah. How excited are you, Soph, that it's the summer holidays? Beyond excited. I literally cannot contain myself. The only person I know that loves it. Oh, God. I relish in it. It's just so phenomenal.
Starting point is 00:00:47 You can just be in your pants all day, pyjamas all day, whatever. Six weeks. Six whole weeks. My friend is a teacher and he gets eight weeks off. He broke up two weeks ago.
Starting point is 00:00:57 What the hell? Where is he? We need to move nearer him. Newcastle. Oh gosh, we need to move. Do you know what it is though? I think it's private school.
Starting point is 00:01:04 Is it? They get longer. You pay more but you get less teaching time. Somebody actually messaged me the other day and was like, castle oh gosh we need to move do you know what it is i think it's private school is it they get longer you pay more but you get less teaching time somebody actually messaged me the other day and was like wouldn't you just put the children into private school oh why don't you just 20 grand a year i think it's a lot of money and i'm you know i'm not a baller you're not a high roller i don't i don't really have that kind of funds in the bank i mean if i could i would would i would I? Would you? No, not boarding school. I was thinking of boarding school.
Starting point is 00:01:26 You could do private without boarding. Yeah. Would you do that? I do. I don't know. I don't know. It's a very tough, I don't know if this is the podcast for it, but it's a very tough dilemma.
Starting point is 00:01:36 It's a tough dilemma. I think, if I'm honest with you, I'd rather just keep him home. I don't even want him at school, if I'm honest. Renly, the thought of putting him in school he's never going to school are you gonna have school yeah i think so yeah i think so because by then how old will colby and dotty be by the time he goes to school yeah they will be four or five years and 12 oh my god if he's starting secondary school they'll be like 12 13 and 10 11 yeah no so they'll both be in secondary yeah oh my god yeah keep them home yeah i might just keep them home yeah i don't even want to put it in preschool
Starting point is 00:02:13 if i'm honest with you is he gonna go to nursery i don't think so no no it depends doesn't it i don't i live every day by the day i don't i don't look too far ahead yeah i live it live for the moment and i'm not um i'm not a forward planner no you don't know if i ahead. I live for the moment and I'm not a forward planner. No. You don't know if I'm going to be doing this tomorrow. Oh, no one knows. That's reassuring for me. Well, I keep turning up every week.
Starting point is 00:02:34 I keep turning up every week. But you just don't know, do you? I never know whether you're going to turn up. I come here on a Wednesday and it's just flying by the seat of our pants. It isn't. I tell them that I'm coming. It's in the calendar.
Starting point is 00:02:44 She's actually very professional. I don't want to disparage her and it's on this public it's not me either it's maddie she she runs all of my she runs my diary it's the bloody trains that keep screwing you i'm not you trains it is the trains the trains are letting me down but no i am yeah it's a i'm keeping i'm keeping the whole school thing keeping it open yeah i am yeah currently i. Yeah, currently. I can't wait for Joseph to start. Because I feel like he's got older siblings. They're going to have friends. He'll learn from them. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:03:09 He'll have a good social education. Yeah. Because it's as much social as it is academic. He'll be streetwise. He'll be like, I think. Might be a dealer. Here's hoping. You'll be loaded.
Starting point is 00:03:22 Football player and a dealer. Yeah, honestly. You'll be made. And then Dot, God. Yeah, honestly. You'll be made. And then Dot, God knows, bless her heart. What's she going to be doing? Well, she's trying out for, we've been watching the Dallas Cowboys on Netflix. You saying that I don't watch any telly,
Starting point is 00:03:33 I've been absolutely hooked to that show. I can't, I can't. So I've been searching for cheerleading places in Southampton. Do you know what? I feel like that's quite her vibe. But I don't know if I'm a cheerleader. Cheer mom.
Starting point is 00:03:44 Cheer mom. I don't know if I'm, it's mom gym mom i don't know it's wild have you seen the little girls that do cheerleading i can't handle the hair makeup outfit they come up on social media and that some of the dads are like throwing them up in the air the attitude it's just like something else i just don't know if i'm i just don't know if i'm cut out for it i also don't have doctors cut out for it so we're gonna give it a try yeah we're also gonna do some baton twirling yeah uh majorettes is it majorettes it's called majorettes isn't it i'd love to be part of like a um marching band in like an american school i would that's like
Starting point is 00:04:17 my dream come true so i'm thinking if we get her cheerleading she might become one of the dallas cowboys cheerleaders imagine can we how far through are you not enough that you can talk to me about okay because i've only just started it okay i had to finish something else before i could start something new so i binged it in like give me a day and i'll finish it okay let's talk about it off mic okay so what are your top three things to do with the children in the six weeks holiday i'm not gonna lie to you i'm a bit of a budget i don't like to spend a lot like i like to treat them but in the school holidays i think it's pointless spending lots of money on a day out that's one overrun by people it must be so busy
Starting point is 00:04:54 it's too much like if you're paying for a day out it is really hard you don't get on any of the rides you're spending all of this money so i try and look at the things that are we spend a lot of time with our families we do arrange play dates with the children from school. Sometimes even just having a child over from like Colby's classroom or Dotsie's classroom at home, because it's a different environment, they just amuse themselves, you know? So we've set up the playroom.
Starting point is 00:05:18 The playroom is nearly, nearly ready in preparation for that. Just lots of time in the garden, lots of walks down to feed the ducks walks in the forest nice so i try and do the things that are very minimal but also effective yeah you know if the weather's nice that helps doesn't it because then it's just park every day jose is obsessed with the swings we'll do about i don't know three hours a day on a swing my arms are absolutely unbalking unbalking she she's in her bulking season and if it's raining soft play yeah i don't really do soft play if
Starting point is 00:05:50 i'm honest they're a bit old aren't they yeah a little bit well no they do love it i just get a bit freaked out and plus in the holidays it's very busy but we're more of a we just we just absorb each other i'm gonna be rude and as cringy as that sounds i know it drives drives over my drives my system i like to um we like to just absorb them we do a lot of crafts we do a lot of magic sand we have lots of we buy the b and q you know the big concrete mixing trays in b and q so you basically get like a black hexagon tray and we do like our own messy play so we make like multi-colored pasta we have shaving foam we drive cars through it you can
Starting point is 00:06:25 buy them and they do actually have legs as well and you can make like a little table that's exactly what i'm looking for i want an activity table because that's what joseph does at nursery they're from b&q they're like cement trays and you can buy them genius and then we just do a lot of messy play so i set up like different activities every day they've got little animals they put through it like the little dinosaurs and i feel like any age even like my nieces and nephews they'll muscle in yeah but we do like funny pasta we do bubble painting we cut shapes and we bake so i try and just do all the things that we can just consume indoors yeah if i'm really honest yeah that sounds like i'm being that mum but i just think what's the what's the point of me going out for a day out and i spend 400 pounds to get on two rides yeah no the babies are stressed renly stressed like it's a it's a
Starting point is 00:07:11 whole it's probably raining yeah it probably will be it's not the one so we're just gonna we're just gonna buckle in lots of picnics garden picnics yeah play i don't want the mess inside the house so i'm like looking for anything to keep jose in the garden. You can get one of those trees for going to the garden. So yeah, an activity table. I'll put water in it, sand in it, anything like that. He's got like a lot of fears at the moment. He doesn't like sand on his hand. He doesn't like paint on his hand.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Whenever they do like a craft day at nursery, they're like, oh, we didn't like getting messy. So I really want to try and expose him to stuff like that and just get him a little bit more adventurous. He's quite safe. Will he have holidays from nursery? So nursery's closed or is it no it is open but i do need to tighten the purse strings a little bit because our free hours from the government don't apply during school holidays yes i did think that in the six weeks nursery suddenly skyrockets and gets a lot more expensive
Starting point is 00:07:59 so i do need to be a little bit careful over the next couple of months because it's full price yes it's not subsidized anymore. So we'll be doing a lot of cheap and free activities. I just think there's so much pressure put on us to have to perform as parents. Like what can social media, what can we show on social media today that was really great that we did with our children? No, the truth of it is, is five weeks of the school holidays. We're in our pants. We're in our pajamas.
Starting point is 00:08:23 We're having a picnic in the garden. we're building forts and tents yeah like that is the predominant of our school holidays and i'm not gonna lie watching telly i'm not ashamed to say it screen time it might just be a one one or two day out yeah event for us yeah but it's no and i just feel like people shouldn't have the pressure put on them to to perform you know yeah you just gotta do you 100 and just know that when you go back you can just be like that was a fucking blast what did you do sat in my pants ate watched telly played loads of shit and spent lots of time together which is probably what they want yeah isn't it that's all they need they just want you yeah they don't need all this fancy shit all these big days out like they're lovely don't get
Starting point is 00:09:04 me wrong and I do you know I do do do fancy days out but in all honesty what do they need they just want your attention yeah they want you to sit there and play with them rather than sitting on your phone yeah you know 100 that was like a i was preachy wasn't it i'm sorry that's like a lecture in i'm so sorry i so sorry. So as much as the school holidays are fun, I do think there is one thing that isn't talked about enough. And that is that it can be a bit overwhelming to have the children 24-7 for six weeks. But we're here for all the mums and dads out there
Starting point is 00:09:36 who need a little break. Yeah. Life goes fast. You know? Life goes too fast. It's hard to remember to take some time out. And it is. I won't lie.
Starting point is 00:09:44 As much as I literally delve in and relish in the school holidays, it's hard to remember to take some time out and it is i will i won't lie as much as i literally delve in and relish in the school holidays it's full-on sometimes it's a lot yeah you do need to tap out you do need to take some time and tap the fuck out lock yourself in a cupboard hide stand outside the front door if you have to put the children outside the front no don't do that you go out the front door leave them in the house but i i know that there is times where i find it overwhelming i do find it overwhelming and i know it's it's a lot school holidays are a lot yeah so starting this week we are launching the secret mom club sunday soak it's a 15 minute playlist of chilled music and us popping up every now and again it's the perfect soundtrack for when you
Starting point is 00:10:22 want to put your feet up relax or even run yourself a little bath so keep your eye out this sunday on your podcast feed i'm so excited for the next fucking six weeks i could lose my shit it's gonna be so much fun and let us know what you like to do with the children in the school holidays yeah email us hello at secret mom pod.com or we're secret mom pod on tiktok and instagram and after the break we'll be getting into some of your messages welcome back we love a secret on the secret mom club we do and you're all so good at sharing so emma share yours not yours not mine there's somebody's given us just the next one hit us with it i'm ready okay this is locked and loaded vicky oh hello vicky she says hi ladies when i
Starting point is 00:11:15 was 13 or 14 year old i used to bunk off school with my friend we used to hang out at my house as my mum would be at work the only problem was that my mum would pop home after work at about 2 30 p.m so rather than go out we used to hide in the cupboard in my brother's bedroom my mum would come home get changed and then go out again to meet her friend then we would re-emerge from the cupboard on this particular day when we were in the cupboard we had a candle for light dangerous not sure why we didn't have a torch and we were leaving the cupboard as we knocked over the candle and it fell into a bag that was full of paper and caught on fire fuck the flames were close to the cupboard so we had to jump over to get out within seconds the flames had engulfed a chair and the wallpaper had caught a light too oh my god i ran and grabbed a bucket and filled
Starting point is 00:11:59 it with water chucked it over the fire and kept doing so until the flames were out i bet they absolutely shit themselves. Oh, fucking hell. I feel scared for you. I bet you were pooing yourself. The house was filled with smoke, so I opened a window. The room was a burnt mess. We had a char-grilled chair, burned carpet and wallpaper.
Starting point is 00:12:15 The floor was sopping wet from the water, which was dripping through the ceiling. There was only one thing to do. Leg it. We ran out of the house so fast. A few hours later, my mum calls me and says, is there anything you want to tell me? Oh, that's not a phone call you want. No.
Starting point is 00:12:30 I said, no, why? She says, has there been a fire? I say, a fire? Really, what happened? I was banged to rights as my brother was staying at our grandparents at the time, so it couldn't have been anyone else. And I was in so much trouble, as you can love you guys so much vicky that is why you shouldn't bunk off school or light candles when there's no parental around candles in a fucking
Starting point is 00:12:52 wardrobe where there's a bag of paper i don't even like candles now i'm shit scared of candles that's like a cartoon gone wrong do you like candles now i do like candles but not in cupboards full of paper i used to like them with dotty and colby but i can't now they're bigger but no no do you know who loves lighting a candle it's stefan does he i came right it's nice when you're like sitting around for dinner right i came home the other day he'd had lunch on his own just lunch for one at the table when a candle was lit i was like creating a nice ambiance for yourself have you you had someone here? Yeah. Who's been in here? Who is she? Tell me her name.
Starting point is 00:13:30 Oh my God. Emma. Have you heard that? You won't have heard. So wasted. Like I can't talk to you. TikTok. It's a TikTok sound at the moment.
Starting point is 00:13:38 It's not a TikTok sound. It's from somewhere else. I don't actually know. It's from Love Island. Is it Emma? It's a Welsh girl going, Emma. Yeah, because her fella snogged an Emma in the dinner.
Starting point is 00:13:46 Emma, who the fuck is Emma? Emma! Yeah, it's me. That's you. You'll be shouting in the house, who's Emma? You're fucking lunch with Emma! Where is she? Oh, Vicky.
Starting point is 00:13:57 That's the last word I'm saying. I'm so sorry. Yeah, it's a hard accent to do. Oh, gosh. That's hilarious. Yeah, stay in school. Stay in school, please. This is your sign to not bunk off.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Yeah. Please stay in school. Don't light candles when you're not with the rentals. Also, I did laugh. I wasn't laughing because that was actually really scary. And I can imagine you were terrified. That could have gone so... It was the chargrilled chair.
Starting point is 00:14:16 I'll take a bun with my chargrilled chair and slice of cheese. Chargrilled chair, anyone? Delicious. Oh, God, can you imagine? How mad must their mum have been? I once put a plastic bag on a lamp when i was younger to create like this red ambiance melted melted it blame my sister that could have she got in trouble yeah it could have i blame my sister though she took the flat she must have been so scared to go home my mom must have been so mad i would never have gone home again my parents
Starting point is 00:14:40 i wouldn't answer no have you got something to tell me? I'm adopted, aren't I? The fear just runs through me. Imagine my mum saying, have you got something to tell me? Oh, shit. I'm in so much trouble. I just dread my mum phoning me full stop.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Yeah. Anything. I'm in trouble. Or when she used to call my full name, Safina. What does she call you otherwise? Soph. Soph.
Starting point is 00:15:04 Or Sop. Soppy. Sop. Soppy. Because she used to cry all the name, Safina. What did she call you otherwise? Soph. Soph. Or Sop. Soppy. Sop. Soppy. Because she used to cry all the time. My sister's Fafa. Still. Because she's a Fafa. Still do.
Starting point is 00:15:11 And my brother's Wee Man. Why? Because he was four foot seven until we were 18. True fact. What? How tall is he now? Five eleven. Wow, he really caught up.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Yeah, he did. He went in the loft one night and come out 18 foot three. It was mental. He literally went in really small and then come out massive, he really caught up. Yeah, he did. He went in the loft one night and come out 18 foot 3. It was mental. He literally went in really small and then come out massive literally overnight. And my sister's faffer because she faffs.
Starting point is 00:15:31 She faffs about everything. And then, yeah, soppy. Nice. Because I used to cry all the time. Yeah, still do. And I used to write my mum's... I feel like I'm outing myself. I used to write my mum's sorry notes
Starting point is 00:15:40 if I'd left my mum. I used to write, Mum, I'm so sorry. I love you very much. And I used to give them to my mum. Aww used to write, Mum, I'm so sorry. I love you very much. And I used to give them to my mum. Aww. She kept them. Oh, that's nice.
Starting point is 00:15:49 I don't know. Anyway. Don't set your house alive, guys. Please don't. I'm glad everyone's okay, then. Yeah, that could have been really bad. That could have been really, really bad. That's scary.
Starting point is 00:15:59 Don't fuck with fire or water. Don't fuck with a naked flame. Don't fuck... I thought you said, don't fuck naked the naked flame don't i thought you said don't fuck naked amidst flames have you accidentally set your house on fire let us know email us hello at secret mom pod.com or we're secret mom pod on tiktok and instagram we'll be back first thing on monday and we'll have more of your messages on our next thursday episode so we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club!

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