Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Tooth Thief

Episode Date: February 19, 2026

There’s a toothnapper on the loose! But it means one mum has an awkward return to make in the school playground. Lots of listeners get in touch after a mum worries about her son not drinking from a cup, and Sophiena and Emma share their school jumper woes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wait, hold on. I need your attention because we have some huge news. It's big. Bigger than my bucket crutch. And that's big. Even bigger than Jojo's love for teenage mutant ninja turtles. Well, you've been asking for it, so we're going to be heading back on the stage for another secret mom club lunch show. There's going to be plenty of secrets. Perhaps a couple of party games.

And maybe a few surprise guests. So mark your calendars because on the 20th of May, we'll be live at Bush Hall in London for one girly night only, so you better buckle up, bitches. Tickets are on sale right now, so head to our socials for more info and the link to buy tickets. We can't wait to see you there. Now, back to the episode. Hello, this is The Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursday's episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. Squeeze your bits. Howdy.

All of your comments. thoughts, questions and fun stories. To keep you going through the weekend. Shall we jump bonie? It's time for another correspondence corner. So Emma, let's have it. Go on.

Give it to me large. This one's from Annie. Hello Annie. In Jersey Channel Islands. Oh, beautiful. Lovely. She says, hi, so for Emma. Firstly, I absolutely love your podcast.

Thank you. Thank you. I often find myself replying to your comments and laughing and crying along with you. After Emma mentioned how much you're getting involved in playtime or how little. I wanted to share my experience. My stepdaughter, who's eight,

absolutely loves playing dolls, which I also loved as a child. When I first met her six years ago, she used to ask me to play all the time, and I did. Since then, we've played with the same dolls, the same personalities, and added or taken away characters

to create more drama, she calls it. I love watching her imagination grow, and the fact that we have this incredible bond makes me so happy to be her step-mom. We even talk about the doll's storylines before we play and come up with new ideas. Our main character is Tinkerbell and I write the stories down constantly

so I don't forget what happens. Oh my God, that's absolutely adorable. We can play for over an hour because our imaginations just link so well together. I never want it to end. Do any other parents get this involved or is it just me? Anyway, I love your podcast so much. You've helped me realise I'm not alone in many things

as a first-time mum and step-mom to two amazing children. Lots of love, Annie. Oh my gosh, Annie. That is next level. This is given honey. Honey from the Dilda isn't. She's Miss Honey. Oh, I wish I could be like,

And she genuinely loves it. Yeah, she does. She's not just like, oh, I'm just getting through this until I can, like, go and cook dinner. Problem is, is I think I could be really involved in the playing. But Dots says, no, you're too much. Get out. She tells me to stop doing accents. She's like, why are you putting that accent?

We're reading Fantastic Mr. Fox at the moment. Oh, brilliant. So there's boggis, bean, and bunts. Right? So I try and do them all with a different voice. Yeah. And she just said to me last night, stop with the voices, Mum. Just read the book normally.

She's savage, isn't she? I was like, oh, do you not like them? She was like, no. Chris was in between me and Chris in our bed. And Chris was like, that's you quite enjoying them and reading them in them voices. It's when I forget the voice and then I have to go, oh, sorry. Oh, yeah, I don't know what it is. Yeah, and then I've got to go back and read the line again in the correct accent.

Yes. So, no, I would love to be fully involved in it, but Dottie doesn't like maybe my storyline. And then I try and go along with her storyline. And then they can be so far out there that I'm like, whoa. Yeah. Honey, I'm lost. Yeah. I don't know what's happening.

I'm not with you. Yeah. It's hard to like, yeah, it's hard to get involved if they've already got an idea of where they want it to go. And Joseph's a bit like that. He'll be like, no, that's the wrong thing or no, we're doing this now. Or you're not playing it right. And I'm like, I don't know what's in your brain.

I don't know where you see this story going. You've got to set out a plot and I can kind of work around that. But he'll be like, no, mummy, that's not like. That's not what we're doing. Or that. Or that character doesn't do that. Or, you know, stop trying to defeat. me, you're not a baddie. Or I'll be like, oh, can these guys hang out together? And he's like,

no, one of them's a baddie, one of them's a goodie. Like they wouldn't be together. And I'm like, oh, I just, I can't keep up. I can't keep up. This sounds absolutely divinely, doesn't there? I wonder whether I would be better at playing like a stereotypical girl game than a boyish game. Because Joseph's quite into like, I'd say his games are quite boyish. It's a lot about like defeating each other, nights, baddies, goodies, jails, pirates, you know, that kind of thing. So Stefan slips into that really seamlessly. Yes. And kind of like, and there's a lot from Stefan's childhood that Joseph really enjoys. That he's forcing on Joseph. Yes. And also Stefan reads a lot of like fantasy. He reads more than me and reads like fantasy novels and

he will be into like sci-fi and stuff like that. So he's like, I just draw on themes from like stuff I watch on telly and stuff I read. And he's like and then I just put that into Joseph's play. Like he's got two castles and one is the good collective and one's the evil collective and Stefan's created this whole storyline that Joseph's taken on and when I'm playing it I'm just a bit like so what we're saying here is Stefan can actually relate to Annie whereas you and Stefan can relate to Joseph whereas I'm thinking like maybe depending what Sadie's into playing maybe I'd be more into playing her kind of games I find her a bit easier to play with at the moment because she'll just want to play with like her Elsa and Anna dolls and I can I can roll with that and she's too

little to tell me what to do. Whereas with Joseph, it can be tricky to... We're also in a new era that Dottie likes to take Renley to her bedroom because he is obsessed with surveillance. Oh, he likes playing them with her. And now I'm not allowed to be involved. Literally, it's like his favourite thing in the whole entire world. That's lovely though, I think.

That's really nice when they start... But he'll shut the door and he'll shut me out. And he's like, no, I'm with my big sister now. Get the fuck out. It's hard when they're rejecting you. You're like, oh, I just want to play. And then when they're asking you to play all the time, you're like, oh, I just need a break.

I mean, you can't win. He loves being out in the garden. And I am really lucky. I'm really, really lucky because I never ever, I would have never ever been able to say, like this was how the three of them were going to interact. Yeah. This is how they were going to have an engagement and this is going to be their relationships.

But I do feel incredibly lucky because one, all three children love being in the garden and they can all three play in the garden together. Or Renly loves being outside with Colby. Like Colby, and they're just so good with him. And then when they come indoors, Rennley and Dottie are up in her bedroom. Yeah, that's so nice. And she's like, don't worry, I won't get the basket.

So she's, she even created a basket with small bits and the basket of big bits. So when she's playing on her own, she gets the small bits out. And then when she's playing with Renly, she's like, just so you know, I won't get the small bit basket out. Because she gets like little tiny ice creams in the surveillance. Yeah, so she doesn't get the choky stuff out. Oh, that's really sweet. And you go in and she's giving him like the little cottage and he's got all the little people and his little, it's fucking adorable. It's the dream when they can start playing together.

Honestly, it does. And then she'll play his, well, both of them, both Colby Andots will play with the Pepper Pigs in the lounge or he really loves playing cars and then they'll play all of that together. So no, I do feel, I do feel very lucky, but I am a bit of... A bit of a spare part. But then I do, you know, as much as I would really love to be involved, and I do get involved and I do play and then they're like, oh, Mom,

can we just play with him on our own? And I'm like, yeah, and like they colour at the table with him. But I don't know whether that's, they just feel really independent that they want to have that time with him. Yeah. And whether I'm just not cool. It's nice for you because they're like, it's a bit like Joseph and his cousins.

I can really switch off when they're together because they're a bit older and you just know they're going to be able to look up. I don't, well, I say I'll switch off. I have a cup of tea, but I just sit in the back. You know, and just watch. Wanting to be involved. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Like the one, that friend that wants to join the group, can you. You can sit with us. You can sit with us. You can sit with us. But Annie, that I respect that.

Beautiful. Right in the storylines down is just another level of dedication, isn't it. Maybe I should do that and then I won't have to use my imagination as much. I can just check the book and be like... Maybe you'll be able to know where Joseph's head's at. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea. Oh, well, thank you, Annie, so much.

All right, I've got another message here. It says, hello, beautiful ladies. Hearing Haley emailing about her autistic toddler transitioning to a cup was finally something I could relate to and I wanted to offer some words of comfort. Do you remember, do you remember Haley? Yes. Haley was the one that had the two-year-old and a one-year-old. Yes.

And they were transitioning from... She was worried that she needed to get them off of their bottles. Yes. Which we both said that we personally didn't think that it was an issue because they're both still so little. But she wanted to get them off a formula as well. And onto cow's milk. Yes. So this says, I'm a single mum to an almost teenage autistic boy.

And despite loving the pod, I sometimes find it difficult to relate to a lot of the secrets and stories because of our situation. Like all things when it comes to our babies, there's so much pressure on parents for them to reach certain milestones by a certain age. And I just wish there wasn't. Don't put pressure on yourself or your child to move from a bottle to a cup. or from formula to cow's milk. It will all come in time when they're comfortable. You're doing an amazing job, especially while navigating the challenges

of raising a young child with additional needs. Be kind to yourself, Lisa. Oh my gosh, Lisa. That is really lovely. And do you know what? Thank you so much for, I know it can be really hard to, it's really hard to watch a show

or listen to a podcast when you can't relate to anything that's on there. So I want to just say a massive thank you that you do listen and you listen to every episode. episode or you know you listen to the episodes and you stick around um because it is it is sad it is sad when there's not things that everyone can always relate to but the fact that you're here and you listen and it just means the world to me and i'm sure it means well to you so thank you so

much and this is so wonderful i really love that there is something that she can relate to yeah and that you're sharing advice to to another mum that i have no doubt feels very lost and lonely and all this. Yeah. It is hard. We spoke about this a couple of episodes ago, didn't we, of like, the baby blues episode, you know, where we were talking about when should we know when things should happen or why are they happening? And there's just so much that we don't cover and so much that isn't talked about as to what is the right thing or the wrong thing or are you doing it right? Is your baby meeting this milestone? And it's just, it's just such a daunting, a daunting thing. but I can't imagine for a second, you know,

to have a child with additional needs as well as to how scary it is. Yeah. You know, so honestly, I take my hat off to you. And thank you so much for sharing some wise words. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. I'm sure that our mummy Haley will find out.

Really comforting to hear from someone who's been in the same position. Yeah. We can only speak, and we say that all the time, we can only speak on our experiences. And it's such a, like, small, you know, faction of what, like, people are going through like multitudes of things with all their children, all their different needs and stuff. And obviously we can only speak about what we know. And sometimes I find it so hard to talk about topics that are not my reality.

And sometimes I feel like I'm, I shouldn't talk about them because I don't, you know, I don't have enough information or experience or education to be able to talk about those topics. And I do sometimes feel so bad to have not an opinion, but to be able to talk about it's something when it's not, you know, it's not what you know. which is why it's so nice that we've got this community of people that can be like, I know about that, I've gone through that. And it's going to be so helpful for Haley to hear that. So thank you, Lisa, for writing in.

I appreciate you so much. And we had one more message on this as well. It says, hi, Lovelies. This is my first time writing in, and I couldn't resist after hearing Haley's secret about her autistic son, not drinking from a cup. Oh, I love this so much. I know, isn't this lovely? My son is nonverbal, autistic and will be six years old in April. He still doesn't drink from a cup.

He has juice and water from a newbie sports bottle, as he hasn't. mastered a straw yet and his man bottle is still a massive comfort for him at bedtime and helps him regulate during or after a meltdown. Our children are different and that's okay. We aren't failing. We're accommodating their needs. Sending lots of love from Jodie in South East London. Jodie. And this is just why I love the podcast so much. Yeah, same. We're just bringing everybody together. It doesn't matter what position or where we are at in life. We're all just pulling together. And I just love the community. I love the community of moms, women. even, you know, even dads, when everybody just gets together and just pulls in and just helps.

And I really love that. And I really hope Haley finds comfort in that because you, and I do believe you have to do what is right for you. Yeah. You have to do what's not only right for you, but also right for your child. Yeah. If that makes them happy, like don't stress it. No. And you kind of do have to block it out.

You have to block out what everybody says is the done thing to do, you know, or the right thing to do. or your child should be doing this. No, they shouldn't. We shouldn't just be putting them into categories. And we shouldn't just be, you know, obviously if they need support and they need help and they have additional needs, obviously we need to get the support for them. But when it has to be, oh, your child should be walking now.

Oh, gosh. Well, they should really have 13 teeth now. And, oh, you should really move them on to solids. You know? Yeah. It's just you have to go with the flow of your child. And no one knows your child better than you. Yeah.

So I hope you can find. some comfort in that, Haley, if you are listening. And thank you so much for everyone's kind words. Yeah, so lovely. I just love knowing all the different people that are listening and everyone's situation is so unique, but we're all just here. Doing our best. We are really just doing our best.

And no one's doing it right or wrong. And that's the thing I think is you feel like you're doing something, but you feel like you're doing it wrong. And I think that's what I get so frustrated with is no one is doing it right and no one one is doing it wrong, all we are doing is just doing our best. Yeah, yeah. And that is perfect. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Jody and Lisa. Thanks, Jody. So much. If you have any comments, thoughts or funny stories, why not get in touch? You can email us, hello at secret mumpod.com or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And next, it's time for one of your secret. Welcome back. We love a secret on the

Secret Mum Club. And you're all so good at sharing. So Emma, what have you got for us today? All right. This one comes from Kelly L. She says, ladies, this isn't my secret, but I feel like many moms will have been in a similar situation. I was down at school when one of the other moms said to me, this is embarrassing, but I've got to give one of the moms a tooth. She said her daughter had come home from school with a tooth and said it was hers. Oh bless. So the mum looked in her mouth, but there was no missing tooth. It turns out she wanted the tooth fairy to visit her so much that she took someone else's tooth home. How awkward? How did that even happen? I don't know, but that's unbelievably adorable.

And also a bit gross. No, can't just be taking other people's teeth. That is honestly so insane. So someone's tooth fell out at school. The teacher was obviously like, oh, we'll keep it safe. I'll put it on my desk maybe in a napkin and I'll give it to you at the end of the day so we don't lose it. She nicked it. She's like, I know teeth equals money.

Yeah. I'm going to take that. That's quite actually. That's what I mean. It's so fucking adorable. I wonder how old she was. Like if she was like 11, it's actually quite like deviations. But if she was like four, it's like cute.

Yeah, well, I don't imagine she's going to be like 25 and just... When did they stop losing their teeth? Well, Colby's lost two, hasn't he? And he's nine, going to be tenish. So is he nearly lost all of his? Yeah, we've got two milk teeth left. Two milk teeth left to go and he's 10. Yeah.

But that's everybody's different. Yeah. Inba, so my sister's third, my second niece, but my sister's third child, she has... She's still got milk teeth. And she's 12. 12? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Oh, that's so. Again, you can't, we can't put a time on these things, Emma. But also, how do you say? I don't know how, I don't know. I think I'd just be like, I'm so sorry. She wanted the tooth fairy to come so she stole your child's tooth. Did someone lose a tooth?

Maybe the school, you could have maybe just handed it into the teacher. Which child lost the tooth? I'm really sorry, but we've taken the tooth eye. Rather than looking in everyone's child's mouth in the playground. Sorry, can you just line all the children off me? Oh, yeah, it's you. I'd maybe, yeah, hand it back to the teacher. teacher because I wouldn't want to have maybe the parent be like awkward conversation.

Sorry, but I've got your tooth. Especially if the child didn't know whose tooth she'd taken. That's what I mean. And you can't trust a word these kids say. She might have been like, oh, it's Jenny's tooth. It's mine. Jenny's like, I haven't lost a tooth. It's actually my too.

Yeah, it's mine. I have got a gap. You just can't see it. Swear down. I lost my teeth. Oh, on a sharpie did my teeth. Yeah. Oh, bless it.

Can everyone just check their rucksacks, see if they got a tooth? That's like me at the moment, but with jumpers. Jumpers are disappearing at a rate of knots. And I am that bitch. It never stops. I'm on the school, what's that, being like, sorry to do this again this week, but we have lost another jumper. Do you know what's even worse? Has anyone gone home with Joseph's tooth?

What's even worse is when you buy the school jumpers, write their name in them, they then lose it at school. So you say, okay, go check first aid. every jumper in first aid lost property has the fucking label cut out because the child most probably has gone home with someone else's jumper so the parents gone oh just cut the label out cut the name out of it and just carry on wearing it. Is that what they fucking doing? I promise you.

It's an absolute bloody scam. I don't know whether it's just our school but I promise you and it may you know I could just be looking into things too much maybe. I don't know. Conspiracy. Conspiracy theorist. Not there is maybe one or two in there with a label in there. but most of them have the labels cut out,

which means the child's gone in with the wrong jumper, the parents gone, I'll just cut the label out and just keep it. That hasn't happened to me, but in lost property, there are no jumpers. I've three jumpers he's had since he started school in November. 16 quid a time.

I'm going to start getting him unbranded ones from Tesco that are cheaper because I'm like, I can't keep fucking doing this. It's honestly the craziest thing. I don't even know what to do at this point. I don't know whether to just write their full name down the inside of their arm. Yeah.

What are you going to do? You cut the whole sleeve off. Take the whole sleeve off. Because his name is in the label twice. I do back label and side label as well. There's no other Joseph. Both are cut out. It's a unique spelling of the name.

I'm like, where the fuck? He came home with a jumper the other day. Jack in the label. I was like, that's not your name. There's not my name. There's not my name. So I can only imagine what it's like with the two. There's no Colby's in the school or Dotty's.

Yeah. How does it keep happening? I don't know. It makes me mad. It makes me mad. Dots is quite pretty. detective of hers, Colby, they use them as goalposts at lunchtime. So then you're done then. Honestly, game over. In the winter as well, I'm like, it's cold. No, he gets straight into school

and takes his, it just wants to wear a t-shirt all the time or a vest. I like, what's wrong with you? It's February. I've got no idea. Anyway, so. Apparently, we're teeth and lost property now. Yeah. God. When it comes to him losing teeth, I dread to think. Do you have a two thief in your school? Then let us not. You can email us hello at secret mumpod.com or with Secret MumPod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. And we'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. And don't forget, we've got a live show coming up and you can come along for the pub.

Tickets are out now, so head to our socials for more info. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club.