Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Two-Month Turnaround

Episode Date: September 24, 2026

Soph and Emma are cheering for one listener's whirlwind journey from "we're definitely done having kids" to full-blown IVF two months later (turns out persuasion is a superpower). Plus, the girls swap notes on the eternal fear of finger foods and choking hazards, and a sweet story about parents waving their kid off every single school morning for six years straight has the ladies vowing to start filming more cute moments before it's too late. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, how are you? It's Evie here. Secret Mum Club will start in just a moment, but before we get into this episode, I want to tell you about my podcast that I think your kids are going to love. I help them deal with big feelings, whether that's calming down for bedtime, finding confidence for school, or helping them feel safe and ready for whatever comes next. Evie Asks is a podcast full of calming stories, kind affirmations and simple ways to help children make sense of their emotions. Search for Evie As to listen along or on YouTube to watch. So this is The Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to your Thursday's episode. Where we get to squeeze in all the extra bits and bobs from the week. Still not squeeze in your bits.

But next week, next week. Next week. Ooh, get squeezed us, boobbies. I won't without her permission, obviously. No. All of your comments, thoughts, questions and fun stories. To keep you going through the weekend. Can we jump on in?

Right. Try and get this in sync. It's time for another. Correspondence. That sounded quite good. Did it? Every time I say that, though, it's fucked. So I'm going to stop saying it now.

We shouldn't put it out there because it sounds fucking awful every time we listen back. And we think, oh, we've cracked it. No. No, we haven't. No. No. Still fucking shit. Well, let's jump on in, shall we? Yes, this one comes from Emma. Oh.

In Perth, Australia. Oh, I thought you'd written into our own podcast. Not me. No. Not you. It says, hi, Sophia and Emma. Hello. I just wanted to write in after hearing the lady who said she didn't know when she was done having babies because I could relate to her so much. I had my first baby girl, Olivia, in 2016, and my second baby girl, Charlotte in 2018.

We were absolutely convinced we were done, so I had my tubes tied during my C-section, and in June 2019, my husband had the snip. We had well and truly double-locked the door on having any more babies. Then, in August, 2023, I happened to be reading about IVF and suddenly thought, wait, we could still have another baby. I turned to my husband and said, should we try IVF and have one more? Let's just say, he was very shocked. We started IVF in October 2020. I love that the follow-on is August, September, October. Two months later they were doing it.

IVF, here we come. What? Oh my God. So they already had like a seven-year-old and a five-year-old. Yeah. So we started IVF in October 2023. And after four egg collections and four embryo transfers, we finally fell pregnant with our beautiful little boy, Archie.

And honestly, he was worth every single hurdle we had to go through. He was the missing piece we didn't even know we were looking for. Looking back, I think the biggest thing I've learned is that you don't always have to know. Do whatever feels right for you at that moment. Your feelings can change and that's okay. For us, we now have our three beautiful babies and I can confidently say we are very, very done. And then there's a picture. Oh, look.

Okay, Olivia, nine, Charlotte, eight and Archie 13 months. Look at them. They're in a shopping trolley. They're in a shopping trolley. Is it, look, so Teska, oh my goodness. Oh, so they've got the two big girls and then Archie, look. Oh my gosh. And it just said the missing, and do you know what?

When I say that to people, people think I'm mad. Like, we didn't plan all three babies. Obviously, Renly was a massive, massive shock to us. It didn't, never, ever a doubt of not, you know, not having him. but I just didn't know how much, not just me and Chris needed him, like how much the babies needed him. And not even that as well,

extending that out how much my sister needed him, my brother-in-law, my brother, their cousins, you know, my nieces and my nephew, he has been such a blessing to everybody in the family.

Like, he has got my niece, who's 17th through some of her hardest days, like the hardest of hardest days. And he is her, savior without even knowing it. And that's mad, isn't it? To think that you, did you think you were done after? Yeah, after Colby and Dotty, yeah, only because obviously I'd had lots of complications with dots right at the end of the pregnancy. And I'd had one of each and, you know, we were the

perfect 2.4 family, you know, as on paper, if that's even really a thing. But I'd felt was so lucky that I'd even had the two of them. And I thought that was us. I thought that was us done. We'd got one of each. We'd been blessed, so incredibly blessed, not only to have children, but to have one of each. And then, yeah, to fall pregnant with Renly, it was such a massive, massive, massive shock, like huge shock, but couldn't, never would. And I even sit now and I think, just one more. Oh. Just one more. But I just, I just, how, how do you ever know, I don't know if there's ever anything that says, no. Obviously, my health is, my health is the, you know,

the one thing that is, unfortunately, I couldn't put myself through it. I'd make myself really unwell, but also it's a lot of strain on the whole family and the fact that I'd be in hospital a lot. So it just is a real tough one. Would you consider other routes to having a baby, like, you know, like adopting or surrogacy or something like that? I think you never say never, because it was something I looked into so much when I got told I couldn't have children and me and Chris looked at the options of adopting surrogacy, fostering

and going down that realms. And we kind of fell in love with that. But then obviously we'd been together such a short amount of time and fell pregnant. So I think it's never really been off of the cards and I just think my heart is, there's enough room. to know that I can welcome another baby in or children in and help others.

And I just, I don't think I'd ever say never. I think it's something definitely, I would, if I could carry a baby for somebody else, I would be, yeah, one million percent. To give another woman a baby, I just think that would, it would have been on my bucket list had I not had so many health complications now. It would 100%. But obviously, I'm putting a lot of risk. on my body and for my own children.

But I would have absolutely loved to have been a surrogant. Yeah. But I just, I'd never say never. I feel like it's on my list to be able to, you know, love more children, welcome them in, give them a home that they deserve, you know. Yeah, I can see that for you. I bet these girls love having their little brother. Look how cute.

And as well, had two girls as well, and then gone on to have a little boy. Boy, I know. Oh, congratulations, Emma. That is absolutely beautiful, isn't it? I just love that she, imagine I randomly said to Stefan, like, should just try IVF and have another baby? And he's like, what? And then two months later, we're doing it.

She obviously had good house of persuasion. Yeah. She wears the trousers. She talks around. He was like, all right, then. Emma, you're the kind of woman we all inspired to be. You've got the power of persuasion. Yeah. Okay, we've got one last message here. It says hi again, ladies. Oh, hi again. Oh, you talking about waving Joseph off at the bus stop every morning and how by 11, it will be embarrassing, really made me laugh. I'm here to tell you that every day of high school from day one of year seven, right through to graduation day, my parents waved me off, even when I was leaving for my final school exams. For the first four years, they'd walk to the end of the driveway and wave as I made my way to the bus stop at the end of the street. I'd keep turning around and waving back until I was over the hill and couldn't see them any.

more. Then during the last two years, when I started driving, they'd still both come outside and wave me off from the driveway as I backed out before heading to school. And as the cherry on top, they'd then stand in the road and wave at me through my rearview mirror. Every morning for six years. Oh, God. That's absolutely incredible. Isn't that adorable? To be honest, they even did it for most of my first year of college, but the morning's eventually got too early. By that point, they were like, we're tired. You'd have thought that by 14 I would have been embarrassed, especially as they come out in their pajamas with bedhead and no shoes without fail every single day.

But it's actually really cute to look back on now. So there may come a time when Joseph is like, no, Mom, it's embarrassing. But when he gets older, he'll look back on it fondly. Keep it up, ladies. Tao from Sydney, Australia still rhymes with, wow. Oh, this is Tao from the couple of weeks ago. Oh, that's so cute. I'm going to keep doing it.

When I see them social media videos of people like, oh, and they go through the years, of all the years that they've recorded their grandparents waving and they just keep waving and waving and waving and then it goes to obviously the grandparents aren't waving anymore and it's just like fuck I can't do it. I really wish when I see these cute social media trends I'm like fuck I should have thought about this five years ago

like the one that I see that I'm like I really wanted to do that is handing the younger sibling to their older sibling and recording that like every month I think it is throughout a year or every year or whatever and I'm like oh man I should have thought about this two and a half years ago when Sadie was born, how cute would it be to have Joseph holding her and that every month they both gradually get bigger? Now I'm like, it's too fucking late now.

They're basically grown. I know. I've got the video of passing. Obviously, I couldn't do it too much with Renly, so he was a lot bigger. But I've got a video of passing Dotty to Colby. And did you do it? And then when she turned one and then obviously together and him trying to hold her when she's one. She's massive.

And then obviously I've got the video of when he was out of the incubator and I could pass the baby to them. Oh, you did it. Yeah. Oh, that's such a cute thing to have. I love that. I just think it's wild, isn't it? Time is going very fast. Yeah.

It does go fast. That's really cute. Well, I'm going to keep doing it, Tau. Thanks for the inspo. That is wonderful. I love that so much. So thank you for your messages. If you have any comments, thoughts or thoughts,

or funny stories, why not get in touch? You can email us hello at secretmummpod.com or with SecretMumPod on TikTok and Instagram. Next is time for one of... Our secrets! Welcome back. We love a secret on the Secret Mum Club. And you're all so good at sharing. So what have you got for us today? Okay, this comes from Tyler and it says,

Hi girls, I'm really struggling with weaning my 10-month-old onto finger foods. I'm absolutely terrified of her choking to the point where I'm sometimes in tears as meal times get closer throughout the day. I know I need to let her explore food and become more independent with eating, but I'm finding the fear really difficult to manage. I'm constantly worrying that I'm going to give her something unsafe or that something awful will happen when she's eating. I'd really love to hear from other moms who have been through this. How did you get over the fear of choking? Did anything help you feel more confident with finger foods and how did you learn what was safe to give your baby? Please help, Tyler. It is a tough one, isn't it? I didn't do

baby lead weaning with Colby or Dotty because it, well, even Wrens really, because it terrified me so much. But I just did it so everything was a mulch. When they could eat on their own, I just did everything. Like a carrot would be pretty much fall apart as soon as they put it in their mouth. Just look it till it's soft. Like don't give them like raw carrots, you mean? Yeah.

Some people do do that. Like straight away, don't they? Do like veg sticks and stuff. But my heart just can't cope with it. And I just think that's like a forever. Colby's 10 and I cut his grapes in quarters still. And I know that's not, I'm not joking at all in any way, shape or form. Purely because I am terrified.

I am terrified. I even get scared eating grapes myself and I have to bite them and chew them to an inch of their life. Because I just, I just don't think that fear will ever go away from me. Yeah. I'm terrified. I don't think it's anything that you need to stress about, which I know it's hard to. It's hard to say, especially if you're weaning your first child. But I think there are all these like milestones when it comes to weaning.

Like start them on this type of food, then try this type of food, then try this texture. Then make sure you get all the allergens in them and do this, this, and this. And really with weaning, oh god. Just give them something that you think they're going to eat. Like, and it will all come in time. Like the baby's only 10 months old. Yeah. I just think like try.

I know it's stressful, but just try and relax about it a little bit. Like they're going to eat if they're hungry. they're going to learn to hold their food. They're going to learn to hold their cutlery. They're going to learn to chew harder food as they get older. Just try not to stress about it too much. I used to do like the mulchy thing as well. Like either cook vegetables till they're soft or give them things like a banana.

It's like they can pick it up and feed themselves, but it's still, you know. I also did those. I used to practice. This was purely for practice really rather than the meeting. I used to give them a dinner. But then I used to sit with them why they ate. one of those, you know, like a melty stick, puff sticks. And they're like, and I've even ate one and held it in my mouth as to how long it takes to dissolve.

And they dissolve so incredibly quickly. So to get them used to finger food, I would just give them like one of those melty sticks. And they just, and with all the saliva that's in their mouth with teething and stuff like that, they go even faster. So if it was something more so that it's not a sustainable, you know, not a sustaining meal, if you're doing a meal, but to get him practicing or her practicing, I would give them a melty stick. Yeah. And then they're holding it. They're chewing it. They're putting it in their mouth. So it's more learning the hand to mouth and holding and having food in the mouth. But they just melt. They dissolved down so quickly. But I was a wreck. I can't give any advice on how to take that away.

I just think is, and if you're stressed in that environment, weaning in itself is so stressful. If you're getting upset and you're stressed, the baby's going to feel that from you. So I think as calm as you can stay and be in the situation for the both of you, the more fun it will become. But I always feel like it's just food's meant to be fun and exploring. And that's kind of the avenue I looked at it is it's meant to be fun exploring. in if they've not fully at enough, we can top them up

with a bottle. But I just think the more fun you can have with it, the better. Like, you can also get tiny, tiny little bits of pasta. I want to say they do

star ones, but also in like Sainsbury's, I don't know where else does them, you might be able to look on Amazon, but tiny little shell pasta. Yeah. And again, dry pasta, just them tiny little ones.

They used to pinch it and just eat like one little bit of pasta. Yeah. And that was always, that was always good. But I just found more finger food picking. So picking a soft carrot or picking a little bit of pasta meant that they also didn't shove too much in. Mine have never like had loads of food in their mouth.

They've kind of picked up food and put it in rather than putting a whole sandwich in their mouth, if that makes sense. Yeah. Rather than having too much in there and causing a choking hazard as well. Yeah. It's also helpful to do a first aid course, which is. I did when Joseph was born because I was scared about this as well. 100%.

So yeah, refresh your first aid. Just because, you know, if something does happen, it's good to know what to do. And also silly things, like everything, take the skin off. Grapes, cut them into quarters. Obviously, they do have a skin on so you can either boil them and the skin will come off. Apples, peel the apples and make sure the skin is off. Tomatoes, again, boiler tomato, the skin, or put it in the microwave. Skin will come off.

You only have to do it for a second or two and the skin will pop off. Just everything that has a skin on that you would panic about, just remove that. Yeah. But yeah, avocado fingers, anything soft that you can, that don't need a teeth chew. So anything you can squash in the roof of your mouth between the tongue and the roof of your mouth, I would always go with like avocado, part-cooked carrots. You can obviously work up on a carrot. That sounds really weird.

So it can start really soft, but then... Make it firmer. Make it firmer, yeah. A bit of sweet potato. Sweet potatoes, yes. Yeah. Yeah. I was just really lazy.

I basically spoon fed my children and then they required spoon feeding until, well, Joseph until he was four. But he knows how to use a knife and four now. He's just lazy. But yeah, try not to stress. Anything with a soft centre. But I mainly didn't do so much, given them the whole food. I would cut everything up. So small pasta.

If I gave them chips, I'd cut them up really small. And then it would just be a case of pinching. the food and putting a little bit in their mouth. And that for me, I coped better with that. But any advice you can share with us that we can pass on to Tyler would be absolutely fantastic. You can drop us an email. We are hello at secret mumpod.com or with SecretMumPod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll be back first thing on Tuesday. We'll have more of your messages on our next Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mump Club.