Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Unbearable Baby Breath

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

Sophiena’s Secret has everyone gagging this week as little Renley gets a bit too adventurous with what he puts in his mouth. Emma shares some big news about her morning routines, and we hear about one mum’s struggle with crusty loose socks around the house. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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And this podcast is a safe space for mums everywhere. A safe space to share our secrets. Because we all have secrets, don't we? We do. And as we know, sharing is caring. You don't even have to tell us who you are. You can keep that to yourself, you can be anonymous. And all those secrets can be serious or silly. All secrets are welcome in the Secret Mum Club. I don't know whether I love wearing headphones or not love wearing headphones. It feels weird. I feel naked. It feels like I'm just airing my nipple on the air.

You know? I feel like I'm fully exposed, but I am loving that it's so cold in here that I can wear a willy. You still wear your willy hat. I think it feels weird because we've just had them on. Yeah, and then we took them off. And now when you've taken them off,

it's like when you take a hat off and you feel like- Or you take your bra off at the end of the day. You take your bra off and you feel like, oh, something's missing, you know? Yeah, I'm naked. It feels weird, doesn't it? I've got a nipple out. You make me feel naked. Uh-huh. of the day. You get your bra off and you feel like, oh, something's missing, you know? Yeah, I'm naked. Feels weird, doesn't it? I've got a nipple out. You make me feel naked.

Uh-huh. Name the singer. Billie. Oh. Thought it was Louise Redknapp. Oh, probably is. To be fair, you're probably right. I'm full of fucking shit.

All the time. I thought you'd know that one. It's a real like 90s throwback. I know the song, but I don't know the singer, do I? I'm good with the song, but not the singer. And the lyrics, yeah, yeah. I'm not good with the lyrics. Do you know what one I thought of the other day actually, what was the one we were saying that the lyrics were wrong the other day? The one that you misheard the lyrics. Oh, smooth operator? Smooth margarita.

How did you know that? We were singing it last week. I wasn't. Yeah. Oh, there you go. Tell me about your week. My week has got fuck all to do. Who the fuck do you think you are? Coming in here. My week. Asking me about my week. My week.

My week. Name the person. It's got nothing to do with you. Yeah. Name the person that that trended from. Gemma Collins? No. Do you know who it is?

It's Jack Whitehall's dad. My day, my day. Michael. It's got nothing to do. Fuck all to do with you. Talking about how's my day. My week has been great. Yeah.

I'm not going to lie. We're fully in the midst of back to school. Yes. I am a lean, mean operating machine. He's passionate. I'm not going to lie. We're fully in the midst of back to school. Yes. I am a lean, mean operating machine. He's fashioning it. I'm not causing surgery on anybody. But no, I've got my, I've gone into 2025 with the whole new, whole new headspace.

I've got rid of the iron and fucked that right off, haven't I? Although I did get a steamer. Yeah. And I thought, I'm just going to lean this on my leg. Hot, was it? Fuck the burn on my leg is purple. No. It's purple. Are you okay? Instant burn. What were you thinking? I don't know. I don't know. It was like half four in the morning and I was like, Oh, just steam this. Steam my leg. Were you steaming something

that was on your body? No, no, no. I was in my pajamas and I just sort of was on the floor. I was trying to steam it in the air and I put it across my leg and they're hot. Yes. Yeah. Hotter than an iron. I would say. Because the split, when I tell you, it wasn't even a... The burn is bad. That's how quick it was. It was literally like... That's how quick. That's how quick I was. Are you all right? I'm okay now. Although Renly keeps standing on my legs and the blister is now popped and that. Oh, and he keeps dragging it with his foot. It's very raw. It's very raw.

I'm not gonna lie to you. It's raw. Also had a very another awkward situation this week. So we've been walking two weeks back to school. I'm walking to school, trying to get my steps in, trying to be the best version of myself, get the baby some fresh air. I went on the school walk yesterday.

Renly was asleep with Chris at home. So I put my headphones on the whole way I was, I was listening to Lily Allen, smile. Oh, when I see you smile. So there's me just bopping away, had my little headphones on. I thought I've got, I had my woolly hat on. So I thought, oh, it's a bit muffled. Maybe it's because of the woolly hat, but it's okay. So I'm going along and I was thinking 40 on, so I thought, oh, it's a bit muffled. Maybe it's because of the woolly hat, but it's okay. So I'm going along and I was thinking, 40 minutes may I add, I took a detour to school. So I took a longer walk to get some more steps in.

I thought, God, everyone keeps looking at me really oddly today. And I just got, you know, smiling at everyone, carried on, you know, walking up to the school, got to near the school and this lady stopped me and she was smiling away at me. You know when somebody wants to say something to you? So I kind of like paused my music and took my headphones down and I was like, oh, you're okay. And she was just like, oh yeah, glad you noticed. I don't know if you've been walking long. You know when you instantly like, oh, am I flashing a bit in my flies's open? And I was like, oh, yeah. She was just like, lovely song though.

Haven't heard that in years. Oh, it was out loud? The whole way. And when I tell you, when I put it on and put, I left my headphones off and played it, it was on so- Full volume. So fucking loud, so loud. I was so embarrassed the whole journey.

The whole 40 minutes. I was listening to some very wild tunes. Let me tell you. There was Lily Allen. Lily, lily, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Also had a bit of end-ups. Oh, just like a random. When she's walking through the door.

One step, two step, three step, four. I'm on the second floor. I'm opening the door. That's basically how fucking exposed I was. I don't know that song, but it's that. That's so great. What the hell? The whole way. Oh no, those kids on the bus that play their music out really loud. Talking about our mum last week who's playing music, so if I can land in the car and embarrass the kids, don't worry. You're doing it on the school run. I did it by myself on the streets.

So that was wild, that's been a wild time. Oh, how embarrassing. But we're on a tight schedule. I'm doing, we're doing school run, I'm doing housework. We're back on the school run in the afternoon. I'm home, we're having dinner between 4.35. Wow. We're also no tablet time past five, that's it. You get your tablet time for half an hour while I'm cooking, that's having dinner between 4.35. We're also no tablet time past five.

That's it, you get tablet time for half an hour while I'm cooking, that's it, no more tablet time. Then we're having like a family board game or we're reading our books or we're playing something on the telly. Bedtime, strict, Renly, 6.30, Dottie, 7, Colby, 7.30. Have to give him a little bit more, he's a little bit older, isn't he?

You've got to give him a little bit more. How'd they get along with that? Is everyone just accepting it? Like, no, the no tablet thing. No one has any idea because it's fucking dark outside. No one has a clue. Do you know what? I keep saying that to Joseph and I'm like,

what am I going to do in the summer? I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Blackout blinds. Because I keep being like, it's, he's taken him so long to go down to sleep. And I'm like, it's nighttime now. His little yoto even shows him. That it's bedtime.

A moon and a moon and stars. And I show him a moon and stars. And I show him the image and I say, what does that say? And he's like, night time. And I'm like, go to fucking sleep then. Do you know what? I was actually doing dinner about 6, 6.30

and Dottie kept falling to sleep eating dinner, not eating her dinner, not finishing her dinner. And then I was like, I said to my mum, am I giving her too much food? Cause we know Dottie gets overwhelmed with how much food's on the plate. So I was like, said to my mom, am I giving her too much food? Cause we know Dottie gets overwhelmed with how much food's on the plate. So I was like, do I smaller the portion? But then she wasn't going to sleep, got to 7.30.

She was like, I'm hungry, can I have some toast? So I was like, I'm bringing it forward. We're not having no snacks. We're going down like a dream. And first night, Renly slept through the night. No. I keep saying this, I haven't been on Instagram very much. As I do, I normally have my morning hour, which I am missing my morning hour, I haven't been on Instagram very much. As I do, I normally have my morning hour,

which I am missing my morning hour, I won't lie. But, Renly has been waking up, sort of between one and three, which I give him a bottle, and then he goes into our bed. So then I, because I've lost, sometimes I don't go back to sleep, so if I've lost two hours, I jump into bed with him, he sleeps through to about five, six, then we start the day.

Yeah, but you're not getting up as early in the morning as you were. No, so I can't do my morning stories because I've had such a restless night. And when I wake up in the morning, it's a military operation. We got to go, go, go, we got to move. We haven't got that much time to get breakfast in change,

brush hair, teeth, get out the door from the wall. So I apologize that I'm not on my Instagram. But I am. But you're losing your, what Jordan North calls his bliss hour. It is my bliss hour. I'm losing it, but I feel like we're going to get it back. I feel like it's not going to be long

and it's going to be back. And then you're all going to be sick of me again on my Instagram. Well, once friendly stops waking up in the night, which he did sleep tonight. Yeah. Last night. Last night. So if he stops waking up in the night,

then you can get up earlier again. Yeah. So I do love my morning jobs. I love having all my jobs done in the morning. And it does throw me off because I'm having to, where I'm waking up with the babies, and I will say, I give everything to them babies.

I'm not going to sacrifice any time with them because what is it? Six weeks now. Six weeks we're on now till Renly turns one. I don't know where the fucking year has gone. Like a flash. It's weird. Like even when Sayne wakes up in the night now, like obviously I want to sleep through the night. I don't know where the fucking year has gone. Like a flash. It's weird, like even when Sadie wakes up in the night now, like obviously I wanna sleep through the night,

I'm really tired, but I am a bit like, oh, I actually don't mind having a snuggle with you in the night. I am sorry that people aren't seeing me on my Instagram, but girls gotta do what girls gotta do. You gotta just get by with those babies, haven't you? But once I get back into it, because otherwise my morning jobs are now my afternoon jobs.

But other than that, we're great. Like I feel great. Yeah, having a good week. Everybody settled back into school really great. Everything that's devoted to my weeks at the moment is the party prep. I'm not gonna lie, I'm going ham. Hard as a motherfucker.

Yes, I'm going ham. Hard as a motherfucker. Yes, I'm going ham. I'm going in. I ordered tiny barbecues this week, little plastic barbecues for the theme of the party. It's gonna be elemental. We're going Disney, Disney elemental. I've decided that we're not gonna dress up as the characters, you've got to choose a side,

either fire or water. Everyone has to wear color to represent what they are. So we've got bubble machine, we've got a photo booth, we've got a steam machine. I've got crafts. We've got painting on glass because that's in the film. You haven't seen the film, have you? You need to watch the film because then you're going to know. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to take a breath. We've got a festive food. It's not festive. Themed. Themed food. I've got candy. Honestly, I'm going all out. Is this all gonna be at your house? I can't even, it's gonna be in the garden. I'm hoping it's gonna be warm.

It's gonna be like on the scale of the Disney party that you had for Inside Out. Inside Out, yeah. Yeah, so I'm very excited. So the week is good. Mine's gonna feel so lame in comparison. Listen. Listen.

Listen, Linda. We listen and we don't judge. You gotta do what you gotta do. I've done first birthdays for Colby and Dottie, so I feel like first is important for me. And they haven't really had parties since then. Nothing, we've not had anything since then. So this is a big party,

we'll all be able to celebrate and have fun. But I might get into the swing of parties. You might from now on. I might do, I might just do one in done. One and done, I do need to do something for Sadie's birthday, but I've never been more like a lot of her. Are you gonna go for a theme? I've never been much of a party person to be honest.

So I'm probably just gonna be low key. Low key? Yeah, it doesn't, you don't exude that, you know. Do you want me to throw a party for you? I would love to have you as a party planner. Just before I cut in on that, do you know it's apparently not Big Min Jennergy. It's actually Big Mean Jenna G.

What? But her name's not Jenna, her name's Vic. So apparently we've been singing it wrong. Big Min Jennergy. Big Min Jennergy. Big Min what? Big Mean Jenna G. Oh, Big Minj energy.

Is her name, her name's not Jenergy though? No, it's Vic. Who is Jenergy? I don't know. But I don't know if that's what she's saying or if people are just fooling me, but I'm fooled. Big Minj, this was the TikTok we did before Christmas. Big Minj energy is better.

I don't know why I thought of Big Minj while you were talking then. Because I was like, I don't exude that party energy. Yeah, don't exude that big, minge energy. Yeah, you know? You could go for a nice little cutesy patootsey. Yeah. Number one-y.

We'll just do a little, you know, a little cake, little tea party. I don't know, I need to think about whether I'm gonna like hire a space and all that, because I did that for Joseph, and it was actually quite a lot of faff. Yeah, because you've got to take everything to the venue to then clear the venue, get everything back.

And it was really fucking expensive. Was it? Yeah, even just the space on its own to the venue to then clear the venue, get everything back. And it was really fucking expensive. Was it? Yeah, even just the space on its own, I think was about 500 pounds. What? Maybe it was 500 pounds all in actually, I can't remember. But I hired like a little ball pit soft play. Like a woman came in and like set it all up for me,

which was really good. But then we got like buffet food. It basically, I was like, I'm just gonna do like a small thing. And then it just got really out of hand. It went ham. The problem is, yeah, I went hard as a mother but I can't do it in my house, it's too small.

It's too small. So if I do do anything, I either have to hire a space or commandeer my mom and dad's house. I'm doing a gazebo, gazebo in the garden. I haven't got a nice enough garden for that. And also it's gonna be. But if you did the gazebo and put the sides up. March is gonna be too cold.

I don't know, that's what I'm thinking. I might have to get heaters. But it's a fire theme party, so I might just have some fires. Yeah, just have some real fire. Yeah, yeah. I've just come out of the script. I don't know, I need to think about it.

I'm not sure what we're gonna do yet. We'll see. I've got Joseph's first. He's in February. His first birthday? So his birthday is first before Sadie's, his third birthday. Sorry, his third birthday. Yeah, so like start in the year. A wee party for Joseph. Do that and then Sadie's, yeah, he's having a soft play party.

Oh, cute. Yeah. And it's a joint one with his friend. Oh, nice. Yeah. Baby Desi. That is very cute. That is very cute. I also am in preparations of not only planning a first birthday, but I feel like I'm taking the load off my sister

for a very sweet 16. Yeah, that's March as well. She's the end of March. There's two weeks between them. So I'm very much in the depth of party planning. And I feel like while I'm on the party, because it's Roxanne's 40th this year as well, I just might as well throw Colbs and Dot one.

Yeah. But I did say this. I did say that I'm definitely considering it. It's a whole year of celebrations. Just don't know if I'm in that era of liking somebody else's children in the nicest way possible. Do you know what I mean? You know, when I don't want all these children

to come around, then I'm like. Do you know what, it's chaos. It's not about that, please don't take me wrong with what I'm saying. But you know, when a child comes around and they say something and you're like, please don't say that to my daughter. Well, I don't know.

So I haven't really seen those interactions yet because mine are only one and three. So like I've had a little bit of it with Joseph. It's like when a daughter comes home from school and she cries about her. Oh, she says like someone said something mean. Yeah. And you just want to be like, fuck you.

Yeah. You little bitch. I'll tell you that. Maybe not so much that, but no, she's got like one solid little friend. Yeah. And I don't know, because there's always been Maybe not, maybe not so much that. But no, she's got like one solid little friend. And I don't know, because there's always been so many children,

they've never really had, they've always had each other. It's awkward as well. Like, do you just invite their friends? Do you invite the whole class? Yeah, but then I don't want to be picky because then I seem like I am being the bitch. It's insidious, yeah. What's the etiquette then?

Do they normally invite the whole class? I saw my friend in the playground the other day, she's handing out invitations. She was like, don't know why why I thought it'd be a great idea for me to do 40 children. I was like, Amy, I don't know how you're doing this. A whole classroom in your house. I don't even know if it was a whole,

it might've been the whole classroom. I don't know, but that's a lot. Maybe she's not having it in the house, she might be having a hold. Yeah, and then you've got to try and fill it. We've got that problem with Joseph's soft play. They're like, you can have 25 kids. I'm like,

he's got one friend. Yeah. So who am I going to invite? So I'm just actually, I'm going to do a nursery wide invitation. Are you going to invite the whole lot? Yeah. Because there's only like 10 kids at nursery. So I can pack out a few children. I could bring along. Yeah. Bring them along. Honestly. If anyone else wants to bring their kids to Joseph's party, we are in the market for 20 small children. Okay. I'm like scrolling through my messages going like who do I know that's got a kid that would like a soft play. I'm messaging random people going we haven't caught up for ages but do you want to come to Joseph's party February? I don't have to bring a gift I just need the head. Oh god fuck. I'm not offering head out to know.

You can't ask for that. Sorry. It's inappropriate. Sorry. Totes inappropriate. God, that took a massive turn, didn't it? Fuck me. No, if anything, I don't want the presents. My house is too full. Emma's not a gifty person.

She doesn't need the gift. She just needs your child. Don't bring no more toys. I just need your kids, okay, to come and have a good time. Eat my cake. Yes. Yes. I feel like this is going to be our whole personality for the next six weeks.

So apologies in advance. Yeah, ask Moana about our baby's getting older and- Listen, I'm not Moana. I'm just so fucking sad. I'm so- I was gonna say you've got to go big on Rayleigh's birthday because it's gonna be your last first birthday. It is my last first birthday.

It's not Emma's last, so she doesn't need to go ham on this one. She'll go ham on the next baby. We'll see. I'm a bit more level headed than last week. Have you leveled out, plateaued? I've leveled out. I'm still not closed off, but like I was in... Oh, just do it. Fuck. I was in an emotional state last week.

You've got a hickey on your neck already. What I was saying couldn't be trusted. I know I've had to zip up my top today because Sophie's like, have you got a hickey on your neck? I think it's from Sadie. She loves me so much. She wants to get back inside the skin. She gives me love bites in bed. No, she, she comes into bed sometimes. And I don't know if Ren is like this, but she is so grabby. So grabby.

So grabby. What's with the pincers? They're like tiny crabs. Tiny little claws that clatter. And I cut her nails, but I honestly can't keep them I can't keep them I can't get them low enough I can't get them low enough honestly without cutting the skin so she's in bed with me and she likes to just know I'm there by absolutely clawing away at my neck. Renly just full on he's just full fist just punch you in the face and you're literally like oh oh I know the other night Renly punched Chris in the face, right? Chris went, what the fuck are you?

Oh, sorry, I didn't realize the baby. Oh, it's you. I was like, chill out, mate. I'm not punching you in the face. It's the baby. You literally got angry at me. She started doing that now. She whacks me in the face, thinks it's funny.

She started doing high five, which is really cute, but she tucks her thumb in. So I'm like, high four. You know that Domino's advert about where you can getucks her thumb in. So I'm like, high four. You know that Domino's advert about where you can get lunch for four pounds. And they're like, high four. I think she's seen that. Maybe. She's seen it.

Or Joseph's teaching her fuck. Yeah, I only see this. Domino's teaching her half-words. High four. Half four. This poor kid. Yeah, so she's very handsy in the night. She's very grubby.

She puts her hand in my mouth. This is what she says, but in fact, well, the triumph of me and Stefan are back in the same room. So you never know. She's in my bed quite a lot. Yeah, well, I had a weekend of solo parenting and I was like, I'm gonna do what I need to do to get through, because everyone's sleeping terribly

at the moment. And I was like, do you know what? When she wakes up in the night, I'm just gonna put her, we made some steps before Christmas towards like getting her sleeping through the night in her cot and not feeding her milk in the night. Then we had Christmas and everything just went to shit basically and then straight after Christmas,

I was back at work and I was like. It's been go, go, go for you. It's been go, go, go. I haven't got the capacity to be like, let's sit next to her cot in the night and soothe her. Like no, we just all need to get back to sleep ASAP. So I'm like. This is what I said to you.

We went off the rails right back in December. And I was like, we got to get this shit back. Yeah, but you're back on it already. Like I'm- I've got no time. I have to. Yeah, you have no choice. But I'm just like, do you know what?

Get in my bed, get the boob in your mouth and shut up. Suck that, Ted. Suck that. So that's what we do. That's what we do. And then Joseph, he's just as- How is he? You haven't given us a potty training update.

Potties absolutely great. Oh, yeah. And he's pooing... How is he? You haven't given us a potty training update. Potty's absolutely great. Oh, yeah. Oh, tremendous. And he's pooing great. He's pooing okay. He doesn't poo that often, but he's not like scared of the toilet. He's never been a bit pooer though anyway, has he?

No, he's always been a bit constipated. We're still on the laxative. God bless his heart. Yeah, the movacore, it's been over a year. Do you think there's something he's eating that's bunging him up? How many bananas is he having a day? I've tried him.

He does have a banana. Does he? Yeah, do they get, you go in or they bung you eating that's bunging him up? How many bananas does he have in a day? I've tried him, he does have a banana. Does he? Yeah, do they get, you go in or they bung you up? They bung you up a banana. He probably has, I don't know, a banana every couple of days. Not like mad amounts, but he's on a laxative still every other day to keep him regular. I know, and I've tried like cutting out gluten,

that didn't seem to make a difference. I don't know. He does poo and he's not afraid of the toilets. That's the main thing, he's getting it out. What he has started doing a couple of times is I put him down to bed and then he'll, because I try him on the toilet before the bath and I go, just in case there's anything in there,

let's get it out now, get it out now. We don't wanna do a sadian shit in the bath or poo in our nappy, but sometimes he gets into bed and it's taken him so long to go off to sleep that by the time he falls asleep, he's done a poo in his nappy in bed. Which is wild to me that he'll just fall asleep with a poo in his nappy in bed. Which is wild to me that he'll just fall asleep with a poo in his nappy like that.

That must be such a horrible feeling. What I find wild is how they lie there. Cause I got Renly out of bed today and he had actually had a poo. And I was thinking, fuck, you feel bad, don't you? Cause you're like, how long have you been living? But at what point do they just lie there and their whole bum hole just goes.

They just let it go? Yeah. How did they not wake up and just go, fuck? I need a shit. I think Renly and Sadie fair enough cause they're still in nappies. So they do just poo. But it was just Yeah. Yeah. How do they not wake up and just go fuck? I need a shit. I think Renly and Sadie fair enough because they're still in nappies so they do just poo. But it's just a hard poo. He's strained that poo out mid sleep. And then he's just stayed asleep. It's wild. But Joseph like he knows like you don't do that in your sleep. So like, I don't know.

And he started saying to me recently when I get him ready for bed. So is he asleep when he's pooing? I don't know. Oh, do you just wake up in the morning and he's got poo in there? Sometimes, or I don't know whether he's doing it before he's gone off or I'm not sure. I think he would have to be awake, surely. Maybe he must wake up and take a shit. But then he just goes back to sleep.

It's weird, isn't it? I felt really bad the other day because one had obviously been in there for quite a while. And then when I changed him in the mornings, bum was all really sore because the poo had been in there. So I had to get him in the bath and stuff. So that's a lesson. I'll have to change him like more quickly now.

But yeah, I don't know how, and he started saying- Hard when their poo routine goes out the window. Like I know when mine are gonna poo. I even know when Chris is gonna take a shit. You're very open about it in your house, aren't you? We're definitely a poo, poo topic fam. Poo household. Yeah, we love a poo.

He started saying to me recently when I get him ready for bed, no nappy, no nappy. And I'm like, mate, your nappy is full of wee in the morning. I'm like, when you can show me that you have a dry nappy overnight, we can take it off. But I said, do you think you can do no wee's in the night? And he's like, no. No, no.

The thought was there, mum. Do you get, is he still having a bottle at night? And obviously we can't cut out the nappy until we cut out the bottle. So I don't know. Because I cut the bottle and then cut the nappy. He's nearly three and he's still loving his bottle. Oh, bless this car.

So I'm like, I'm just gonna keep doing it. Have you tried the Moo Moo's, like a cup of milk after his dinner? Like when he's having his dinner. To be honest, we haven't tried to cut it out, but I think if we do, that's a good idea. Cause often they just go, when they see it in a sippy cup,

they're like, I don't want that. Yeah. Yeah. Cause they say, don't they? There's a certain age where actually the milk is not their main source of calorie anymore. I think it's after one, isn't it? There's a certain age where actually the milk is not their main source of calorie anymore. I think it's after one, isn't it? Is it after one?

I did think that. I think it is because they say with- Cause they then can move on to cow's milk. They can move on to cow's milk. And also they say with real food, under one is just for fun. So they're still getting their main nutrients from milk. Yes.

So like, don't stress about the food basically. Exactly. So I think after that it must flip. Must flip. Yeah. But yeah, it's just the whole, the sleep is a whole shambles in our house. But tell you what, got a nanny. Got a nanny to help us out in the mornings. Not my nanny, not nanny Nick. A nanny.

So you've actually fully got a nanny? Coming in to help you? Yeah in the mornings. Nanny Laura. So she's done one morning for us this week and it went great. So I'm really hoping that she's gonna be such a big help because- I need to know, is she like Miss Honey? Like that's how I expect every nanny to be, is like Miss Honey from the children. She's really nice.

She's really great. She's got loads of nanny and experience. Cause we have quite a lot of the time, a situation where if Stefan's away working, I obviously go out to work at like five o'clock in the morning. Of course. There's no one there to wake up the kids.

No. But I was worried about who that person was gonna be because it's- Is she a sleeping nanny? No, she comes at five when I leave for work. But I was worried about like someone else waking the kids up, getting them changed, getting them dressed, giving them their milk. Like that morning routine is like-

Very, it's quite personal, isn't it? It's quite personal. Like for the kids to like have someone they don't know doing that. So we had a couple of settling in sessions. They all, my three children, they both warmed to her really well. She's lovely. It's great. It's like, it worked really well.

So I'm hoping that's gonna be a big help for us. That's incredible. Yeah, I'm really glad we found someone. Are you, so how many mornings are you doing? It's just like ad hoc, because I never know. We never know when Stefan's gonna be away. Got you. So, and that's the really great thing,

because I can just be like, can you come next week on Wednesday? And she's like, yeah, great. Whereas like loads of nannies don't wanna just work five in the morning until like nursery drop off. I guess like it's like a contract, like, you know, I don't wanna say agency, but like when you would contact an agency

and they'd send you one. Exactly, but we needed someone more reliable. Because if someone suddenly at five o'clock is like, I can't come, I'm like, well shit, I can't like get to work. So it was a really like niche situation. And like normal, like childminders and nannies were like, I don't just want to work like five to eight in the morning and then have like nothing else all day.

I was gonna say, she just does nursery. She just does nursery drop off and then she finishes. So the hours are like quite rubbish, but it fits in with her life. So yeah, she likes it. Wow. Yeah. Go you. I know, what a match made in heaven.

I was like, I never thought we'd find someone. And it's just such a big like relief. It's a weight off my shoulders. Cause those nights, or those mornings where me and Stefan are like, what are we actually gonna do? We've got no cover. It's quite stressful.

And then I have to like take a day off work or, you know, so it should be good. It's going to cost us an absolute bloody fortune. But yeah. It's not for long though. You're going back to the big dragon. Is it the dragon? Yeah, that's what they call that country Wales, the big dragon. No, they don't. No, they don't. But I just thought that would be fun. I was going to say fucking hell.

A full fact. I love it when people do them quizzes with their other half and they say, can you tell me what a winged liner is? And they're like a winged liner. Is that where you line a wing? And they're like, yeah. How did you know that? I thought that's what you were doing.

Yes, the country of the dragon. The big dragon. You know the one that? I thought that's what you were doing. Yes, the country of the dragon. Yes, the big dragon, you know the one. Yeah. So that's us. But when you go back to Wales then, will you have Stefan's mum and dad to help? No, because they're not even that close by.

It's kind of the situation that I've got with my mum and dad now. Like they're an hour and a half away from us now. Stefan's mum and dad are gonna be like an hour and a bit away from us when we move. What into Wales, there'll be an hour still away from you? Yeah, they live in like West Wales, mate, it's so far. When I tell you we couldn't live more opposite ends

of the country. Fun fact, you know, I like Right Move. I was Googling, I was searching houses in Wales on Right Move. Oh, could you find me one? There's, well, I found one, it's 13 bedrooms. It's 8.5 million. Oh yeah, bit over budget.

Phenomenal, beautiful view. Bit over budget. 13 bedrooms, we could go together. We'll just live together like the Brady Bunch. Let's chip in. Yeah, let's yeah. Phenomenal. A bit over budget. Beautiful view. A bit over budget. 13 bedrooms, we could go together. We'll just live together like the Brady Bunch. Let's chip in. Yeah, let's chip in. The whole fam.

Bit much, might have to bring my mom and dad, you know, bit extra, maybe my sister. Yeah, I'll bring all my family as well. In case nobody's told you, weight loss goes beyond the old just eat less and move more narrative. And that's where Felix comes in. Felix is redef you weight loss goes beyond the old just eat less and move more narrative And that's where Felix comes in Felix is redefining weight loss for Canadians with a smarter more Personalized approach to help you crush your health goals is here losing weight is about more than diet and exercise It can also be about our genetics hormones

metabolism Felix connects you with online licensed health healthcare practitioners who understand that everybody is different and compare your healthy lifestyle with the right support to reach your goals. Start your visit today at felix.ca. That's felix.ca. Breaking news happens anywhere, anytime. Police have warned. The protesters repeatedly get back. CBC News brings the story to you, live.

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with your chance at the number one feeling. Winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily Jackpots. A chance to win with every spin and a guaranteed winner by 11 p.m. every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? 1-866-531-2600 or visit

connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void if platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires play by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11pm Eastern. Research and supply. See full terms at canada.casino.fando.com. Please play responsibly. Emma and I really want to hear from you. Yeah, we want you to join us in the Secret Mom Club. You're all welcome. Emma and I really want to hear from you. Yeah, we want you to join us in the Secret Mum Club. You're all welcome. You can share your secrets with us, respond to what we've been talking about or just say Hello.

You can find us on TikTok and Instagram. Just search for Secret Mum Pod or you can email us hello at secretmumpod.com. And it's time for another Correspondence corner! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I'm 10 weeks along and we've started to tell close family and friends and us. And us, shit. We got pregnant a week after our wedding, whoa. Whoa. And I've had some pretty weird responses to our news. My favorites are, oh God, that was quick, wasn't it?

Or is your husband excited? And oh, it's a boy I can tell. It's so funny what people say to you, isn't it? So did you ever get weird comments from folks when you told them you were pregnant? This is our first baby and I cannot wait to meet them in August. We're very excited. Love, Anonymous.

That's gonna be, it could potentially be a Leo baby. Yeah. Cobbs is a Leo, he's August. Yeah. Oh, I have had some strange ones. Yeah. Have you had some strange ones? Yeah, the weirdest thing was when I told people at work,

they had previously said- Don't get pregnant again. No, I'm gonna go. Yeah. You're not allowed. No, a couple of people had said, oh, when people tell me they're pregnant, all I can think about is them having sex. And then so then next time I told them, oh, I'm pregnant again with Sadie, I was like, they're just thinking about me having sex. And it makes it really awkward. But then that's how I feel telling my mom and dad, like, guys, we had sex. Yeah.

I wasn't so funny. We're having a new bundle of joy. Yeah. I banged. guys, we had sex. Yeah. Rather than saying we're having a new bundle of joy, I banged. Yeah, we banged. We banged. She banged. We banged. Oh, baby, when she moves. Ricky Martin. Yes.

It's my tune. What's so funny is that, obviously, when you get pregnant, that's not the only time you've had sex, right? Your family, what? What? It's pretty important. What? I know you've only had sex three times.

No, I mean- No, you have to have sex to get pregnant though. Obviously, yeah, but in a relationship, you're having sex other times as well. No, no. So like when you tell people you're pregnant and they're like, oh, I was thinking about you having sex. You're like, yeah, I've had sex before.

I have sex all the time. In fact, I had it this morning. What are you gonna do? I didn't, I didn't. I was gonna say, very- It's been nine months. Very unlike you. It's actually been, poor Chris has been about 18 months.

Well, how old is Renly now? He's still not having sex. Eight months. I'm still not prepared. It's too awkward with them in the bed and then everyone walking in like it's a fucking chug. Exactly, there's too many people in your house. Renly's in the bed sleeping.

Chris is happy. Like, it's fine. We're just doing what we gotta do. Mine is fucking hell, you're massive. Yes. Is it twins? Oh, is it twins? Yeah.

Or the third time I had one, why did you do that when you already had one of each? How stupid. Or third baby, was it planned? Oh God. So you not played your TV license? Oh yeah. Oh.

Or, oh, have they got a different dad? People said that to Roxanne, didn't they? Yeah. People all the time ask for Roxanne. And you know what, there's nothing in that, but you just don't ever just say that to somebody. Like I just don't, I would never, if a mom said to me, oh, I've got six children,

my first thought isn't, oh God, they got all the same dad. Yeah. Why would you say that? Like when I fell pregnant with Renly, they were like, oh, all three children got the same dad. Who asked you that? Just a person, just a person. It's all the three children, all got the same dad.

They actually ask you that at the midwife appointment. You've just triggered a memory for me. Have they got the same dad? I think they do ask if they all have the same dad. Yes. Which you know, that's different when it's a medical professional asking you. Yeah, but like why, also why would you care?

Just not to a stranger. Even if you were like, yeah, six different dads. I just find it baffling, that's a weird one for me. That's weird, yeah. And I think because of the age gap of Colby and Renly, I think that's why people are more inclined to ask, oh, were you trying? Oh God, you fell pregnant.

I hate the term trying, oh, it makes me feel sick. I just, I don't, I just, I know, I get it, I understand, I completely, fully get that it's, you never know the right words to say. There is certain situations that you never know the right, but just a congratulations. Yeah, congratulations. You must be so- Are you gonna find out the,

are you gonna find out the gender? Yeah, he must be so excited. What lovely news. Yes, have you been, how have you been doing? Have you been feeling? That's what I would really love is, how have you been feeling? Yeah. If you've been doing okay.

Because it's a fucking whirlwind of a journey. Especially that early bit. So mental. Even now, I met a lady in Aldi yesterday and I said to her, like my hormones are still fucked. I'm still on this whirlwind and I'm, what, we're nine months out? 10 months.

It takes two years to get back to normal. That's what I said to her in the shot. Two years. It's weird when people try and- Even then I don't think I'm gonna go fucking back. Never. I was mad before. No, it changes you.

I think it's weird when people try and date it back to when you got pregnant and be like, oh, what were you doing then in like October? I don't do that to your face, but then I do think from my head, when I go home and I'm like, oh, it's Emma's birthday, that's why they got jiggy with it. Jiggy with it.

I know the exact time I got pregnant with Sadie, so I could tell you. Do you actually? Yeah. When was it? One time. This one time? In my kitchen?

This one time. It was the day, it was like- It's the wrong show. Sixth of July, I'm gonna say, day before we went on holiday. And that was it? And that was it. You took the, you seized the opportunity.

It's so rare these days that I know the day. Well, mine is, I don't know the exact date, but mine's obviously the engagement baby. He came from our engagement celebrations. Yeah, so if you wanted to find out, you could find out the date. Whereas with Joseph, I've got no clue, no idea. Colby, not got no clue, track it back though, August.

Well, you know, you can work it out roughly, obviously, because you work it out by your due date, right? What is backwards then? August, September, what comes before, oh, July. November, you were pregnant, if you had an August baby. There's nothing going on in November. But like, obviously you can date it back to the month. Like I would have got pregnant with Joseph in May,

if he was born in February. What were you doing in May? No idea, but with Sadie, I'm saying like, I know the exact. It was in the kitchen. Date. In the kitchen, as you're obsessed with. You do do it in the kitchen though. Which is weird when the midwife.

I know it's weird, no one does it in the kitchen. It's weird when the midwife dates it back and goes, oh, you're five weeks pregnant. Like this was your date of conception. I'm like, no, it wasn't. I know exactly when it was. You liar. I know exactly when it was. You're a liar. I know exactly when we banged.

The way they work out really confuses me because they like add weeks on, don't they? And I always do think though, I always do think, oh, cheeky, saucy buggers were doing it on her birthday. Well, to be fair. When I get past the image of sex then. When anonymous told us it was a week after the wedding,

we were like, oh, hey. Good girl. Do you know what? there's no time. And fucking, but people have just never got anything, I feel like if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say it at all. But that's incredible. Yes, congratulations.

Congratulations. We're very happy for you. Keep us updated. And jealous. And congratulations on the wedding as well. Yeah. And getting married. What a lovely time for you.

So you can get in touch with us on anything at all. Yeah, it can be serious or silly and you can be totally anonymous. Because between us, we've probably heard it all before. And remember, we're all in this together and we know that we are. We're all stars and we see that. So I've got so many secrets I could be sharing with you, but I'm going to have to drag them out a bit. But one, I'm going to have to drag them out a bit.

But one, I'm going to give you a little bit of a warning for this week's trigger of the week. Okay. Trigger of the week. Trigger of the week. This one, I cannot promise you if I'm not going to gag, if I will gag. So this is your pre-warning. If you don't like gagging.

Why are you listening to this podcast? You shouldn't listen to this podcast because we are not a gag show. Anywho, the secret of the week is up there would be in the most rancid thing that's ever fucking happened. Disgusting, vile, there's not enough words. So are you ready? You've had some disgusting things about. Disgusting.

Buckle the fuck up for this one. All right, hit me. You know I said we've been walking to school, right? So I've got the big pram out. We're doing the pram walks with the big pram because it takes all the load of everybody's shit, right? So being that we're doing the pram walks, Renly's got very accustomed to sleeping in the pram, still minus three degrees outside. So I wheels the pram in the kitchen and lets him sleep. I'm getting a good hour. I'm getting a good hour of him napping in there, right?

Okay. So bearing in mind, the pram is in the kitchen. I've potted around, he's woken up, got him out of the pram, right, potted on with our day. He comes in and out, plays with the wooden kitchen out in the kitchen area. So he crawled out to me and he was doing that. And I thought, Oh God, he's got, he's trying to bring up his sandwich. Like what's going on? Don't know what's wrong with him. So I picked him up and he was chewing something and there's something running, this liquid running up his sandwich, like what's going on? Don't know what's wrong with him. So I picked him up and he was chewing something and there's something running, this liquid running down his chin, right? So I put my finger quickly in his mouth,

hoiked it out, he had a leaf in his mouth, right? A leaf. So I was like, fucking hell. So I wiped up his face, carried on pottering around, washed my hands. Where did you get a leaf from? Were you just like? Taken it off of the pram,

because I'd wheeled it in, right? So stay with me on that one, okay? So he put it around and I've washed my hands, I thought, do you know what? I can smell poo. Chris goes, it might be the pram. I said, it might be the pram. Let's get outside because no one, utterly no one picks up their dog shit where we live. I'm now on poo patrol. I look everywhere for the dog shit. So obviously on the wheel. So wheels are outside, mopped down the floor, carried on about my day. Still pointing around I thought, I can still smell dog poo. So I thought nothing of it. Picked

Renly up. No, stop. It's just not me. No, was brushed his teeth so many times. He ate dog. He ate dog shit, Emma. He ate dog shit. Nine years of being a mom I've never noticed, never witnessed, been dog shit.

I've had children walk through dog poo. I've had dog poo on their hands face Everywhere when they've touched the pram never in their mouth He ate dog shit my eyes all right my baby ate dog shit my first instance He's not gonna he's not gonna nothing's gonna happen to him is it Chris is like no, it's just dog poo Yeah, but they like we're three days deep of the dog poo and I can't get out of his mouth Oh, no, does he still smell? He still stinks of shit.

Oh! He still stinks of shit. I spoke to Zoffy about it this morning and she was like, the baby's not, I don't know if he just went, oh, that's a bit whiffy, I won't eat that. No, no, he's probably, no, shh, straight down the hatch,

cough on it, claim it, get it in your hatch. He ate dog poo. He ate dog poo. He ate dog poo. So he swallowed the dog poo and he choked on the leaf. I think there was no poo. I don't know if there was poo on the leaf. I hooked the leaf out. There was obviously the remnants of dog shit. So I washed, because I put my finger in his mouth, I'd wash my hands, but dog poo stinks. It doesn't matter how much you wash your hands. It stinks. It's so disgusting.

So bad. And he ate dog poo. How much do you think hands. It stinks. It's so disgusting. So bad. So bad. And he ate dog poo. How much do you think it went in there? I don't know. To generate this kind of smell for three days. I don't know. I just have been scared for my life that he ate dog poo. And the germs and stuff in it.

I don't know. I haven't got an idea. Is it full of fiber? Is it going to do him any good? Harm him? I have no idea. But he ate dog poo. And then to add insult to injury, I was loading the dishwasher this week as well. And I thought,

oh, scraped some of the plates off. Some peas had fallen on the dishwasher door. And I thought, oh, don't worry. I'll just leave those there and I'll clean them away when I've loaded the dishwasher. So I'm pottering around loading the dishwasher through carrots, peas, turned back to close it. And I thought, oh, how weird, there's no where the peas gone. I thought, have I lifted the door up? Have they gone through the crevice of the dishwasher door? No, no, opens the dishwasher back up, up pops Renly, there's peas.

Peas in his mouth. He's eating the food. From the dishwasher. From the dishwasher. What dirty boy! I don't know if he's a baby or a dog at this point. He's like a dog, yeah. He's eating dog shit, he's eating the food

out of the dishwasher. The dishwasher! Disgusting! I'm done, I'm done. He fully ate dog shit. Oh my God, do you know what, at least one silver lining might be that his immune system will be really good,

because apparently babies that are exposed to like the germs that dogs bring in the house have a really great like microbiome. So that's one good thing about it. So now I'm on poo patrol. Everywhere I go, people wanna know, is he eating shit today? Yes, he's at shit.

How are you gonna get that smell out of his mouth? He's in bed with you as well. She isn't. He's not welcome anymore. He stays. You sleep in your own cot all night. I don't know what's worth morning breath or dog shit breath. Oh, dog shit breath.

Dog shit breath. I agree. So there you go. That is my secret of the week. Oh, really? Gross. Hope you enjoyed that one. We're going to be back after a short break because I'm going to go and vomit. New Year, new me.

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that pairs your healthy lifestyle with a little help and a little extra support. Start your visit today at Felix.ca. That's F-E-L-I-X dot C-A. Breaking news happens anywhere, anytime. Police have warned the protesters repeatedly, get back. C-A. very quickly. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily Jackpots. A chance to win with every spin and a guaranteed winner by 11pm every day. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem?

Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void of platform or game outages occur. Guarantee requires played by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11pm Eastern. Research and supplies seen full terms at canada.casino.fandio.com. Please play responsibly. We got three secrets we're going to be discussing this week. Hopefully none of them are as disgusting as mine, but we're going to roll in to our first

secret. Emma, take it away. All right. Hi ladies. I wanted to send a secret relating to Soph's car park panic when she left Colby in his car seat and nearly drove off. Don't feel bad. When I was a few months old,

my dad took me into town to settle me down and get me to sleep. It was one of his first solo trips out with me as a baby. He popped into Clark's to buy himself some new shoes. Oh, go on, Dad. Nice. And once he finished his purchase, he simply walked out, new shoes in hand. He got all the way home, popped the kettle on, and sat down on the sofa.

Only when my mum asked, where's the baby, did he realise he'd left me in Clarks. They both raced back to town to see if I was still there, but I wasn't. What the fuck? Thankfully, my nan worked in Boots opposite Clarks, and one of the ladies in Clarks knew I was her granddaughter. So she walked my pram over to my nan who scooped me up

and looked after me until my mom and dad arrived. This story still haunts my dad nearly 32 years later. Evie! Evie, that could have been so much worse. Evie, oh my god, can you imagine the guilt that her poor dad lives in? The panic that when you go to Clark's and they go, she's not here. Sorry, someone came and collected. Yeah, someone came and said they were her parents.

Oh, Evie, you poor, poor soul. God bless you. Is your dad all right though? 32 years later. Yeah, I don't think he's okay. I think that'll still be fresh in the gullet. Also, this is what's the good thing about like. Where's your gullet? The good thing about.

Yeah. The good thing about like community and where people actually know people. They go, oh, her nan just works in Boots actually. We'll take her over the road. If I lose Joseph and Sadie in London, I got nobody. No. No fucking clue. I don't think you're, I wouldn't even like to think. Wouldn't like to think. I know it's terrifying, it's truly terrifying.

It really is. I just don't know how, people unless you've had a child or have children sorry, you, I don't think you can explain that to anybody and it come across like rational thinking like to anybody that's not a parent and they listen to that must think, you shouldn't have children. Yeah. Yeah. I've let my child eat dog shit. It's so easily done.

Like your head, like you're tired. You've got a million and one things to remember. Your head's in the shed. You pop out of your new shoes. You think, oh, got everything. Got everything I need. Got myself some brand new kicks. Let's go have a cup of tea.

Yeah. Put the kettle on. Thinking, I bet he have a cup of tea. Yeah, put the kettle on. Thinking, I bet he felt really proud of himself. He'd gone out, got himself some new shoes. Yeah, taken the baby out for the first time. I bet he wasn't allowed to do that again. No, I bet he's been on 32 years of parent watch.

Still not allowed to go out together. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. The mom has to go everywhere with him. Oh God, well thank you, Evie, so much. I hope you're all right now. I hope you're all right. I hope your dad's okay. It's worse for the dad

because Evelyn probably can't remember. No, gosh. God bless her. Should we roll into number two? All right, this one says, hi ladies. I've officially given up trying to get my tween to put their dirty socks in the laundry. Tell me about it.

I've got the same problem with my bloody husband. He's 37. Well, it's just how fun Christopher is in the... Put stuff next to it. I go, sorry, is that for the wash? Because it's actually next to the basket and not inside. It stuff next to it. I go, sorry is that for the wash? Because it's actually next to the basket and not inside. It just annoys me when I pick a sock up the floor.

What is this dirt you're cleaning? He goes, don't really know. Oh well I know. You were wearing these socks on Thursday last week. No matter how many times I ask, they're everywhere. The sofa, the stairs, even the kitchen table. Why? Cut the toes out. Cut them out, cut them out of your life.

So I decided to take matters into my own hands by placing the socks right where they can't ignore them, in their pillow. Every night, I gently return the crusty, forgotten socks to their rightful owner. And you know what? They still haven't noticed. I thought she was gonna say, and now it works.

No, they still haven't noticed. Either that or they just don't care. Who's gonna break first? Place your bets now. Love the pod. Thanks for keeping us mums sane Becky. Becky, I'm having a really, really bad, I'm having really bad thoughts. I'm going to be really honest with you. Twins means he's 20, right? Twins means like tween ages. So that's like 12, 13. Oh my God. Boy or girl? What do boys do in socks? I can't, I'm losing my head.

They just don't care so we don't know. The crusty socks. When she said crusty and then if it's a boy... I'm gonna say they just don't care. They just don't care. Or yeah maybe they just don't notice. Like there's things that Stefan just doesn't see. Must be so lumpy like a princess in the pea. On the mattress. And smelly. Oh I don't know, might not have stinky feet. I'm here for this petty shit though Becky. That's the kind of mum I'm not, I'm probably a moddy coddler. Is it a moddy coddler? Moddy coddler. You just do it yourself. Some things I do, I just think I've just got to swallow this and get on with it.

I can't have the battle. I feel like I'm just arguing with myself and then I piss my own self off. Then I'm angry at myself, you know. It's a whirlwind of emotions. I know I just do it. I just take one. It might be different though when they're big.

I mean, I'm not a big girl. I'm not a big girl. I'm not a big girl. I'm not a big girl. I'm not a big girl. I'm not a big girl. I'm not a big girl. I'm not a big girl.

I'm not a big girl. I'm not a big girl. I'm not a big girl. I'm not a big girl. I'm not a big girl. I'm not a big girl. I can't have the battle. I feel like I'm just arguing with myself and then I piss my own self off. Then I'm angry at myself, you know? It's a whirlwind of emotions. I know I just do it. Just take one. It might be different though when they're big. Yeah, because I think they actually do understand then. Like put your fucking, and also I think the same with Stefan.

I reckon put it in his bag bowl. Just serve it to him. Yeah, put it on his plate for dinner. Like Bridget Jones in the string in the soup. Yeah. I feel this is like making Stefan sound like such a teenager because he is an adult man. But I just like I'm doing if I'm doing all the washing and returning, I'm doing the absolute most I'm doing the washing and I'm returning the clean clothes to your drawer.

The least you can do is the least you can do. Your crusty dusty one. Is have the respect to just put your put all your dirty laundry in one place. I'll wash it, I'll take care of it for you. Mother truckers. Just put it in the bloody bin. Just put it in the bin. But Becky, we're proud of you.

Feel you, Becky. You feel you. I feel you, girl. What a woman. Right, let's have our last secret. All right, this one says, hey, Sophie and Emma, my two year old daughter bit me and when she did,

I burst into tears. Yeah, I've been there. I was already upset about the other things going on. So when I saw she'd actually bruised and tore my skin, it was overwhelming. I put her straight to bed, but I don't know if that even shows her she's done something wrong.

It's so hard to know what the right thing is. Love from a first time mum. Oh my gosh, sweetheart. Been there. Been there. I've been there, massively been there. And at that moment, you're so sad. I felt really vulnerable when it happened to me

for the first time, when the children do something like, or I got whacked in the face really hard by a toy from Dottie, so much so that I cut my inside of my lip, had a massive bruise down my face for a really, really long time. But in that moment, you're so vulnerable and so like, fuck, it hurts so much. You don't actually know what to do.

I don't even know if there's a right thing to do or what we do in this situation. I took it out of her hand and put her, I did put her to bed. But do I think that's the right thing? I don't know. I don't know. There's so many like mixed opinions on what you should do.

And I get fed all this stuff on my Instagram that's like, if you just shout and put them to bed or do naughty stuff, that's not gonna work, they're not actually learning their lesson. But sometimes, you've tried all the words, you've tried all the gentle parenting, you've tried the reasoning and at the end of the day,

you're like, this is a toddler, they're not gonna listen to me. And when they're not feeling rational and they lash out, I think your natural response is to be like, no, like I have a really angry reaction. And I always feel really guilty after I've been up. After the fact, I'm like, I've done that the wrong way. Whatever I do, I feel like it's wrong.

But I've been in exactly the same situation. And like Joseph whacked me in the face with a toy recently when I was trying to get him in the buggy to go to nursery. And he was playing up all morning and it was just like an accumulation of things. And it was like, he wouldn't put his coat and he wouldn't put his shoes on. I finally wrestled him into the buggy,

got him in the straps and he was feeling frustrated. And he smacked me with a wooden toy on the nose to the point where I was like, has it brought tears to my eyes? Like it really stung. And I was like, shit, like has he broken my nose? And then like tears just come to your eyes. Like you just can't help it, can you?

And you just think, why have you done that to me? Like, I feel so like angry and upset. They just don't understand. They don't understand. And you have to remind yourself, they're a baby, they're a toddler, they don't know what they're doing. They're just pushing the boundaries, they're not trying to hurt you.

And they're learning, yeah, they don't understand. They're learning their boundaries and they're just acting out, but it's really, really hard when you're in the moment and not be emotional. I think it takes them back when they instantly see you cry. I think they're taking a back a little, aren't they?

And then I think sometimes when they've done something and then I've gone a little bit quiet, when you're wrestling, like you would do with Joseph, like there's many times that I used to do it with Colby because he hated the car scene. And you'd get in there and he'd hit me in the face. And again, you'd instantly just bought tears and then it's the quiet in the car.

And then they instantly know that you hold, they feel that your demeanor has changed. They don't know what they've done wrong, but they feel that your demeanor has changed. But I think in that moment, I don't know if there's a right or wrong way. It's hard to know what's right. I think when you're feeling hot-headed and you're like,

go to bed or go on the naughty step or do time out or whatever, or maybe you raise your voice with them. I think maybe they're a bit like, oh. And then later maybe you can go back and be like, look, that wasn't right. We don't hit mommy or other people. That's not what we do. If you're feeling frustrated, try this instead.

But it's hard to do that in the moment. I get it. Yeah, I get it. But as a first time mom, I hope, I know that we can't give you the right answer as to what you meant to do in the situation. I hope this makes you feel less alone. Yes.

Because you do feel very, very isolated in that moment. Yeah. And in the whole grand scheme of things, but just want you to know that this is very normal. Very normal. Very, very normal. I guarantee you there's not a parent that hasn't been through it, so.

No. Don't you worry. God bless you. Keep your head up and you're doing fantastic. Thank you for sharing your secrets this week. Everyone is welcome in the Secret Mum Club. Yeah, if you'd like to share your secrets with us, you can. The email is hello at secretmumpod.com or with Secret Mum Pod on TikTok and Instagram.

And have you had enough of the rogue socks in the house? Or have you found a way to subtly get your own back? Let us know. There really is nothing too outrageous. Keep an eye out for our Thursday episode. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mum Club. New Year, new me. Season is here and honestly, we're already over it. Enter Felix, the healthcare company helping Canadians take a different approach to weight loss this year. Weight loss is more than just diet and exercise.

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