Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - The Wicked Sister

Episode Date: December 3, 2024

Trigger warning: This episode contains discussion around sensitive topics such as self-harm, which some may find upsetting.Soph’s had her hands full with Christmas chaos, but on the plus side, Renley has started to crawl! Emma also shares an exciting family secret about her superstar sister, and we’re diving into some listener secrets—including a toddler with a very questionable taste in strangers. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Miami Metro catches killers and they say it takes a village to race one. Anyone knows how powerful urges can be? It's me. Catch Dexter Morgan in a new serial killer origin story. Hunger inside of you. It needs a master. Featuring Patrick Gibson, Christian Slater, special guest star Sarah Michelle Geller, with Patrick Dempsey and Michael C. Hall as Dexter's inner voice. I wasn't born a killer. I was made. Dexter Original Sin, new series now streaming

exclusively on Paramount Plus, a mountain of entertainment. Hey listeners, just a heads up, this episode includes discussions on sensitive topics like self harm. If this isn't right for you today, feel free to skip ahead or join us on a different episode. Hello, this is the Secret Mum Club. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And this podcast is a safe space for mums everywhere. A safe space to share our secrets. Because we all have secrets, don't we? We do. And as we know, sharing is caring. You don't even have to tell us who

you are. You keep that to yourself, you can be anonymous. And those secrets can be serious or silly. All secrets are welcome in the Secret Mum Club. Tell me about your week. I'm still recovering from the live show. It's just, I'm literally, I feel like my head, when I tell you before that my head's up my arse, it's show. It's just, I'm literally, I feel like my head, when I tell you before that my head's up my ass, it's nothing. It wasn't. It's nothing compared to where I'm at now. I know.

And I don't know whether it's the fact that I'm chasing my tail and also there's so much, so much going on in the sense of like, we've got to get tickets for the children's Christmas productions. I've got my sister's birthday, we're having my sister's birthday. We've got Chris's birthday coming up. We're off to Lapland, UK.

We've got Marwell lights coming. Like, I feel like all the festivities are coming in. Like, there is just so much with the lead up to Christmas. Everything is fucking wild. When I tell you, I'm not joking, like I'm beyond tired. And then you've got to keep on top of all the daily shit. Like the washing. While also trying to think about how I need to eat healthy,

not need, I want to eat healthy because I want to look after myself, something we've talked about a lot. I want to look after myself. Something we've talked about a lot. I want to look after myself. I'm trying to make a real conscious effort as well to not necessarily eat as a family of five, but to make sure we're having a meal. I made a promise to myself that I was gonna try better

to now Renly is fully in the food situation. The boy is eating everything. We're fully on finger foods. Yeah, we're fully on everything. I'm not really doing any of that. We've also have no teeth. Yeah, now how is he managing that? Don't know, but bless his heart,

he's getting little sores in his mouth. He's so sore. They're like bulging to come through and they're just not breaking in. What does he do with the food? What food are you giving him? Yes, toast, crumpets, spag bulg, cucumber sticks. What's he doing with it? How, what? I don't, spag bulg, cucumber sticks. What's he doing with that?

How, what? I don't know. He must have, he must have gums of steel. The gums are hard, mind. The gums are hard. When you put your finger in their mouth. It's odd. The gums are so hard.

Savage, he's had chocolate. Has he? Yep, got him started on a bit of hotel chocolat. You started him high end. I did, I started high end. You've ruined the boy. I thought, I'm gonna start with the little tiny chocolate drops, getting ready for his advent calendar. Is he eight months? Yes. Also maybe using them to bribe him to crawl

because we are right. I know you want him to crawl. Do you? Yes. We're right on the cusp of the crawl. That's going to be the start of the carnage. We've done one, two. He's really close. I saw your video. We just, we're doing the one, two. He's mastered back. We've had that for quite a while.

But he's got the one, two, but just can't seem to get past once he's done one, two, to then bring this one forward. Yeah. Tricky. Yeah, tricky. Sadie wants to go straight to stand him. Yeah, Renly loves to stand.

It's annoying now when I try and sit her down on the floor, she just goes straight. Like a pencil. Yeah, literally. And you try and put them down to change, or sit them down and they're, yeah, to change the nappy. No, bend, bend! Pin it!

In the little bumbo seat where she eats, she's like, stiff as a board, and she started doing it in the bath. Or in the buggy. Yeah. The buggy is the funniest thing when you're out in public and they're like, I'm not getting in it. And I want to say, cause I used to be a bit lazy with the strap and just put the bottom straps on and now I'm like, holy cow. No, she needs to be fully straight.

I always say clunk, click every trip, car all bugging. Yeah. I'm, I'm not going to lie. I'm, I'm a full clicker. Yeah. I get it all in. Yeah. I can't do it. It does make me nervous now when they, and also, because I get on public transport a lot, so when you get on the bus or the train and you've got to flip up the buggy, I could launch out the top. They definitely could. Don't take advice from this podcast.

Always strap your child in. Hold on! You can take advice from... But don't listen to me. Always strap them in fully. Yeah, so I feel like I'm just on a, I feel like I'm on a little bit of a carousel, but it's not like a poodling nice little jolly ride.

It's under a mile and a fucking hour. And I'm just like, it's the rock and roller coaster. I'm on a roundabout at the bloody park. Everyone's fucking screaming around me. We're going a hundred miles an hour. I slip off occasionally and bang my head. And you feel sick. And I feel nauseous constantly. But yeah, it's okay.

I've got my Christmas shopping under underway. Can't believe you've done that. Yeah, got that underway. Am I on top of my washing? Are you ever? Have I fuck? Are you ever? No, I'm not.

Cause you were saying, cause we had obviously- Bless me mum keeps saying, give me your ironing. I said, by the time I've driven it over to your mum, you've either- There'd be no point. I've got to come pick it back up or you'll drop it to me. I've then got another fucking load. Mum's loving iron. My mum always says to me, do you want me to do your ironing? I say, Nick, I don't iron anything. My mum irons bedsheets. Don't worry about it. My mum used to iron our knickers. What the fuck? I think my mum used to iron ours. She irons bedsheets and I say, Suzanne, you're going to increase us when you iron that. You're

going to be in them in five minutes time. Although I don't iron mine, but when my mom does do them, it is a nice treat. It makes the bed look nice, so it does. I feel like it's a mom thing though. So when I go back and stay at my mom's one day, I feel like you'll get into a freshly iron bed just like now I'm home. It's like a comfort that I don't wanna take from my mom. Yeah, mine are creased to shit.

But I think once, once you put it across the mattress. Most of mine have got pissed and shit on them as well. Because I changed the nappy on there and I'm like, oh, I only changed it yesterday. Got a bit of pill on there, baby wipe it. Oh, is that what you do? That really pisses me off. When I'm the one that does the clean sheets and then Stefan will do a nappy on there. Not Stefan do a nappy. He'll change on the baby's nappy. Stefan takes a shit on the bed. Stefan takes a dump right on the bed. No, he'll change a nappy and because he's sloppy, get it everywhere and then I've got to wash the bloody sheets again.

No, I don't wash them. I least give it a week. Do you? Yeah. You can't have time for that shit. No, but because we had our double whammy of nights out, it was like three days of not doing any washing. And basically now you're constantly chasing your tail, aren't you? I can't keep up. I cannot keep up. And then to throw adults to injury, what? We're not injuring any adults.

We, it's after school, so it's football. And Colby is so muddy that I used to be able to get like the week's football out of his skins. So skins are what you wear underneath the kit. I used to get a week out of those. Now they're covered in mud. Cause it's so, so foggy. The rain, the rain.

Let's have a weather check the rain the rain has been insane yeah the rain has been but it's been at it ain't it but that storm but oh yeah storm but do you watch the news you're meant to be a news reader honestly no idea what's going on you better get back into that go you've only got a couple of weeks i need to get back on it. Yeah. But yeah, that's my, that's my, still literally on a bubble that I have. Hosted a live show.

Hosted a live show, presented an award. And won an award. And won an award. I know. Huge week. She's on the shelf. Honestly, yeah, there's your Oscar. Where is she?

Behind you. Behind your right shoulder. Cause everyone's a winner baby. No, only you're a winner. She's a winner baby. She's a winner. But yes, it was a great week. It was good, wasn't it? We've had a real calm down from that because everyone in our house has been ill. And whilst we were ill. I need to ask you though before we get into this, because if anybody's seen the live show or you were there at the live show, but just a recap, Emma decided not to bring any family at all to the live show. I bought every man and his dog, my next door neighbor. It wasn't, I just

bought my whole family. Yeah. Well, luckily for you, you had my tickets, so you're welcome. They didn't come because they were from my friend Rebecca and her fiance and the girls were stuck because of the snow in Manchester. Oh gosh. They couldn't make it because the snow was wild. But I need to know, do you wish they came? No.

Are you happy they weren't there? Yes. Will you bring them to the next one? No. No, I might. Your sisters wanted to come. Everyone wanted to come. My mom and dad wanted to come.

Stefan, my sister. Are they angry that all of mine to come. Everyone wanted to come. My mom and dad wanted to come, Stefan, my sisters. Are they angry that all mine were there? My friends, they knew that was the case. Okay. So they were like prepared for it. But I would love to know from the listeners, cause I think people fall into like one of two camps. Was it normal to not have any family there?

Cause I was too nervous. Or was it normal? Or was it weird? Or was it normal for you to have all your family there for the support? Cause Stefan was like, you'll regret it. You'll come off stage and be like, oh, I wish there was someone here to be like,

yay, we did it. But for that I had you and that and Dan and the team. So I, no, I didn't. I was very happy with my decision. Yeah, so let me know if I'm weird. It played on my mind a little bit when I got back to the hotel and I was kind of lying there on my own.

And I was like, I hope she wasn't sad. No, it's okay. I went back home, chatted to Stefan, had a cup of tea and a sandwich. It was very rock and roll. But your mum was like, where are all your family? My mum blessed us up with, she was just as stressed as me. She was like, oh gosh, she's got no one here. I know. It's like I took her tickets. You've taken it, Suzanne.

Yeah, you're welcome, Suze. I think it's quite normal, but I have to say most people I've spoken to have been like, that's weird that you didn't have anyone there. Oh. So there. Oh. So there you go. Welcome to the life of an introvert. I've been desperate to ask you. But you know, when it's like one of these things, you can't text.

And it's so weird as well, because people are like, what the hell? Like you're on a podcast and you're on the radio, like you can't be shy. And I'm like, no, I am. I don't see anybody. I am. I talk to a microphone.

Yes. Or my safe people. It's different seeing like being in the room live with people. I don't know. It was yeah. Now I'm glad I wanted to just relax. Yeah, I want to be able to relax, enjoy it, see how it went. We didn't massively fuck it up. So there might be another one. We actually didn't fuck it up.

No. It actually went a lot. Which is a miracle because normally we fuck everything up. When we have an edit, we're like stop that, edit edit that put that in compliance. You can't edit a live show You cannot edit a live show and I think we done all right. We did. Okay I think we didn't get ourselves cancelled. You can actually watch back to some of the some of the clips Yeah, because it's gone live so you can go back to it was it was a Thursday episode, wasn't it? And you can listen to yeah, you can listen to some of our favorite

Yeah, some of our favorite bits, but during that, as I was saying, everyone was ill. And during the period in our house when everyone was ill, just did a little burp there. That's not why I'm ill, everyone's got a cold. Sadie started sleeping through the night. Oh, shit, the bed. And I was like, oh my gosh, she did like five nights of sleeping through the night.

Stop her. Just off the bat. And I was like, oh my god, we have cracked it. We're not feeding her in the night anymore. And I was like, and it's weird because normally when they're ill, they sleep worse. Yeah. Right.

Now she's a little bit better. She started fucking waking up again. I'm like, oh, so that was because you were ill that you were sleeping so much. And she was exhausted. She was exhausted. That's why she was sleeping through the night. I was like, oh, I really hope this lasts

when she gets better again. No. No, no. You're back on the booby. Not the boob, because I will not give in. To the nighttime booby. To the nighttime boob again. If she's waking no. You're back on the booby. Not the boo because I will not give in to the nighttime booby. To the nighttime booby again. If she's waking up, she's having a cold bottle of milk. I don't know why I said that. Sorry. That was the wrong word to use right then. You feed as long as you want to feed and there's no judgment. No, but I obviously, it was my aim to get her off the boo at night and to get her off milk

altogether to be honest, but we started doing the bottle so that me and Stefan could both do it. And also the theory was if she's waking up for a bit of cold milk in a bottle, she's going to be like, yuck, don't want that anymore. I'm not going to wake up for it. She's been waking up at like three o'clock in the morning. I did, but I don't know whether it's different

because of where you booby fed and we bottle fed. I don't know whether it was different because I, I don't know. It was okay with Dottie and Renly, but Colby, obviously the midwife told me you have to wake up. So I used to set myself alarms to wake up my sleeping baby. The worst advice. Sorry. Such bad advice. It made you ill. Yeah, an excitement that I just inhaled my own saliva. Worst advice you can take from anybody is to wake your sleeping baby. Sleeping baby will wake when they are hungry.

So with Dottie, I didn't go in with that mantra. She used to sleep great. Still very much on a sleeping protest. But Renly, yeah, he took to it really well. Like when we came home, I wasn't doing no night feeds. I'd maybe get to two o'clock and he'd have a bottle, but then that would be it. And I think if you can do it from the get-go,

really focus on that and not push it. And sometimes to be fair, I used to get Renly out and he'd just wanna cuddle and go back. Like at the moment, he woke up last night actually at about 20 past three, woke up this morning, sorry, 20 past three and I just brought him into our bed and sometimes they just wanna cuddle. I know, but I am being quite strict with myself on that

because I don't wanna like, as much as I have enjoyed like feeding and co-sleeping and stuff, I don't wanna start this new trend where like, she's like, oh, I'm in mom and dad's bed and it's nice and warm and cozy. And now I'm gonna wake up at three o'clock in the morning every night so that I get. Yeah, I think I am a little bit lucky with that

because Renly doesn't. It doesn't form a habit. I don't wanna form a habit. He hasn't formed a habit, but you know, every baby is completely different. That's true, and every parent is different. Like if that's not your approach, that's fine. But we are very much, because I'm going back to work,

we are trying to get her sleeping independently through the night at the moment. So I'm going at it quite hard. And I've been following a method that we did with Joseph by a phenomenal sleep consultant called Lucy Wolfe. And she's got a book called The Baby Sleep Solution. And it's like stay in support. So it's like, you just like pat them from outside the car,

let them know you're there. And we spoke about it. Which is what like I did with Colby them from outside the car, let them know you're there. And we spoke about it. Which is what like I did with Colby. Yeah. And you actually move further and further away. So as much as I can, I'm trying not to lift her out of the car or feed her. But she started getting up in the night between like three and five or let's you do like between four and a half five the other night. And I'm like, we're not up for a 90 minute party in the middle of the night. She is. No, give me them titties. That's not what we're doing. I'm ready to roll.

And it's just like that little bit too early as well. Like this morning, I think it was quarter past five and I was like, can't you just do like another hour would be fine. I think I'm panicking a little, not panicking, but I think I'm panicking a little bit because I don't want Renée to wake, not that he's loud. All he does is babble and he's like dadada, dadada.

Yeah. Dadada. I just don't want him to wake up the other two. I know. They have to go to school. So I think I'm I think I panic a little bit, but also here's my last baby. I know you just want to relish it. But then this morning I had to wake him up.

You got into our beds, went straight back to sleep and then I had to wake him up at 10 past six. Yes, because we were coming here this morning. I had the same problem. So she went back to sleep seven forty five hours. I come on, lazy bones. Yeah, it's time to get up now But then she's tired because she hasn't had a full night's sleep. I mean God it's just a vicious cycle, isn't it? But Joseph started waking up as well. And normally he's such a good sleeper. Maybe there's a change in like the Sun and the moon Maybe I don't know. My sister would say like mercury is in retrograde or something

Whatever. I think that's what it might be. You know, the moons, the planets, something's going on. I think it's probably just that everyone's sick. Well, just when everyone's better. Sometimes I feel like it's that whole thing. Once you put a bit of pressure on yourself, it don't happen. I know. Just let it go.

Just let it go. Put a bit of whiskey in the bottle. Do you know what really freaks me? Don't take advice as I say from this podcast. Do you know what freaked me out the other day? Joseph, who is here today? So I'll say it quietly. Called out the other And when I went into his room, he was just standing up facing the wall crying. I was like, no more of that please. Cause that's fucking

weird. I came out and I was like, Stefan, I think Joseph's possessed. I thought you were going to just tell me he was talking to someone. No, Stefan was like, I think he's looking for his teddy and his dummy, which is probably more accurate. Ran into a wall. That's my door. That would be, that's me. I was like, what are you doing? Anyway.

So, yeah, we're knackered. Everyone's knackered. Yeah. But I don't feel like it's gonna, we're not gonna get on top of this anytime soon. So, better to just embrace it. Roll with it. Keep getting my Botox in my head. And I'm not gonna lie to you,

my secret that I shared to talk about it at the podcast is that my skin is basically like elephant skin. Botox isn't gonna work on you. She's not sure. She's undecided at the moment, my Botox lady as to whether it's gonna work or not. She said the skin here is too, it's really, really thin.

On the crow's feet. Which is why it bruised. I bruise easily. So be gentle. When you give me my Botox. Do you want some? Yeah. You can't. Yeah, yeah, I do want to.

Yeah, I'm gonna. Did yours completely freeze? It did, yeah, but you're saying yours is only half worked. Half the forehead still Wi-Fi. I had a top up yesterday. Half Wi-Fi. Half Wi-Fi. Yeah, look at that Wi-Fi. Half whiffy. This is back to the frowns back. Is it back? No, I think that looks pretty good. But yeah, there's a lot of movement

up. Half the forehead. Just get to waxing more in. I did yesterday. But after this. Yeah. Just keep going. Three months. Just keep going. Until it's like, but no. Yeah. That's, that's us. That's us. Top up on your boat. Top up on your boat and try to get some sleep. You should never have Botox unless you want it. Not for anybody else. Just do it for yourself and for no one else. That is serious jelly. So Emma and I really want to hear from you. Yeah. We want you to join us in the secret mum club. You're all welcome. You can share your secrets with us, respond to what we've been talking about or just say hello. You can find us secrets with us, respond to what we've been talking about or just say Hello!

You can find us on TikTok and Instagram, just search for Secret Mum Pod or you can email us hello at secretmumpod.com. This episode is brought to you by VoucherCodes.co.uk, the UK's most trusted voucher and discount code site and app. There's nothing better than saving a bit of money when you shop, especially at Christmas with all the gifts to buy. Absolutely. It's great to save a little or even stretch your budget to get someone a nicer gift. Everyone wins. No, have you done all your Christmas shopping yet?

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I do love me a trainer. I mean, it covers all bases. Honestly, there's something for everyone. There really is. So this Christmas, save on festive gifting with hand-tested codes that really work. Go to vouchercodes.co.uk for discounts that work. Terms and conditions apply. Michelle Geller with Patrick Dency and Michael C. Hall as Dexter's inner voice. I wasn't born a killer. I was made. Dexter Original Sin, new series now streaming exclusively on Paramount Plus, a mountain of entertainment. It's time for another Correspondence Corner. So Emmarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Okay. I'll take it. Thank you. Oh crumbs, I nearly saw it. Do you want the intro first?

Yes please. Okay. Hi ladies, this drawing is from my daughter Mia. She's 10 years old and she has drawn Harry Potter and Dobby. She's obsessed with drawing. She watches tutorials on YouTube. Oh stop it. From Emily. Thank you Emily. This is adorable. I'm excited about this. Right, ready? I'm just excited about the fact that she does YouTube tutorials. I know.

My words at the moment, I just can't get them out. Tutorials. Right, ready? Yeah. Three, two, one. Aww. You're a wizard, Harry. That Dobby is incredible, isn't her?

Yes, that Dobby is very true to life. She's even got the lightning bolt on the head. Yeah. That's adorable. Look, how old is she? She's ten. Oh oh and look at the sock is it a sock what does he hold Dobby is he holding his sock? Is it a sock Sophia? Why does he hold a sock? He's a free elf he can't wear socks I don't know

who did he steal the sock from? I think it's his sock is it but he's a free elf he doesn't have socks we're're not Potterheads, are we? But I do know that that- But we appreciate this, Mia. And I do know that that resembles Harry Potter and Dobby, so well done. Well done. Look at the magic coming out of Harry's wand.

I know. Don't be filthy. All boys are happy with their wands and their magic, you know? Don't be filthy, she's 10 years old. Magical wands. I love that so much? Don't be filthy, she's 10 years old. Magical wands. I love that so much. That'll be going on the gallery wall. Do you want it on your side or my side?

Mine's looking a bit thin on the ground, so I'll take it on my side. Are you? Next to Owly. Woo hoo. Woo hoo. I love that Mia, God bless you. Thank you.

Thank you so much. I really want Joseph to get into drawing. Do you? He's going in through a bit of a drawing and coloring in phase at the moment. And it's such a lovely like solo peaceful activity that me and Stefan are really encouraging it. We're like every day, we're like,

do you wanna do drawing, do you wanna do coloring in, keep buying and coloring books and like coloring pencils and stuff just so he can do it. And I think if he gets to an age where he's like following YouTube tutorials, how cute. That is adorable. I think it's the fact that she watches little tutorials. And copies them. And I think if he gets to an age where he's like following YouTube tutorials, how cute. That is adorable. I think it's the fact that she watches little tutorials and copies them and copies them. In our day, it was copy what they made on Art Attack. Yeah. Try to just chuck sand around me. Mum's like, what are you doing? You're making a bloody mess with

the salt. Try to do a big art attack. Mine both love to draw. Do they? Colby loves free hand drawing. Yes. They've got apps where they do step by step. Yeah. Guide, so it like says, draw a circle here, then draw a circle off. And then at the end it creates the- The thing like an animal or something. Yeah, like-

That has honestly taught me how to draw. Joseph's got a book like that and it's all fun. Isn't it clever? But it's broken down into shapes. So you literally like, now I'm a wizard drawing a cow, obviously. You're a wizard, Halle. I'm a wizard at drawing a cow because it literally is just like draw a square here, then draw

a rectangle, then draw the legs. And I'm like that I can cope with. That's genius. That's my level of drawing. That's a new kind of art attack. It's brilliant. So good. Even I can do it.

And get endless of endless hours. Endless hours. Yeah. And they like making their own books or comics. Do you remember doing that one? Making comic strips. Yeah, yeah, they love it. It is really fun.

Oh, thank you, Emily, so much. Thanks, Emily, and thanks Mia. Yes, thank you, Mia. And continue, because you're great. You are. So good. Neil Buchanan in the making. We're obsessed with Neil Buchanan.

He comes up so much on this podcast. Very lightly on the wee there. I am obsessed. Emma is obsessed with Neil Buchanan in the making. We're obsessed with Neil Buchanan. He comes up so much on this podcast. Very lightly on the wee there. I am obsessed. Emma is obsessed with Neil Buchanan. If you're listening, love you. We've got another email here. It says, hello ladies. Hello. Absolutely love the Sunday Soak Eps. I've been suffering from anxiety recently, so on my weekend walks, I listened to the pod and the Sunday Soak came on. I just stopped instantly, sat down and breathed through the episode. Oh my. Just wanted to say thank you, love Emma from Newcastle.

Oh, maybe that's a little, bring back the Sunday soap. Yeah, well you can still listen to them all. They're all still available to stream. You just scroll through the episodes a bit, but Emma, I love that for you. I scroll through and check them out. Yeah. They were a fan favorite. They were. I love how much everybody loved to them. I scroll through and check them out. Yeah. They were a fan favorite.

They were. I love how much everybody loved to them. It was to basically chill everyone out during the summer holidays, wasn't it? Yeah. It was the time of the week for everyone to just take time. Take a moment for yourself.

Whether in the bath, having a cup of tea, having a stroll. Out on your walk. Out on your walk, yes. And just relax. Yeah. There was a little bit of crazy in there though. We didn't deter them. It wouldn't be us without a little bit of chaos. A little bit of chaos, but I'm glad that you liked it Emma.

But thank you so much, appreciate you. Thanks. So you can get in touch with us on anything at all. Yeah, it can be serious or silly and you can be totally anonymous. Because between us we've probably heard it all before and remember... We're all in this together and we know that we are, we're all stars and we see that. He is my secret of the week. To be fair, mine's not really a secret, but I know you have a secret to share and mine I'm going to lead on from the fact that I'm desperate to go

and dress up and go and see Wicked. Actually a little bit devastated in the fact that I never got invited to the premiere of Wicked because there was a lot of people there and I would have loved to have met them. Do you think you would have made the cut for the red carpet? For the green carpet? Was it a green carpet?

It was a green carpet. I think I would have, you know? Yeah? I'm gonna rate myself. Don't rate myself. But I think I could have been up there. Didn't even get invited to the Moana 2 that's going on at the moment.

Unbelievable. I'm sorry. What? Blivet. I'm just on a fucking live show. 2 that's going on at the moment. Unbelievable! I'm sorry, what? Blivage! I'm just on a fucking live show. Yeah, do you know who I am? I do want to toot my own trumpet but toot toot! Hello! That's reminded me of Elemental. So yes, we're off to go and see Wicked this week.

Oh, I'm dying to see it. I'm trying my best to hire a whole screen for Sissy's birthday. Oh, a whole private screening? Private dancer. You're my private screening. Private dancer. You're my private dancer. Dancing for money. I'm not going to be dancing for her money.

That'll be cool. Yes. But you have some secret. Well. Some secret. I didn't think it was a secret. It's fucking huge. Are you taking the piss? We were just talking about.

Wait for this. Wait till you fucking, Emma, just drop this in this conversation like it was nothing. Well, because I don't really think anything of it. Because I was like, this isn't like, it's not secret to me, but everyone was like, what? So hold on, when you, when, when she told you this, were you not like, fuck, that's huge? Well, yeah, okay, it's huge. But okay, so I shared something on my Instagram stories

last week about my sister. She's in Wicked. She's fully in the fucking film. With Ariana Grande. My sister is, newsflash, Ariana Grande. No, I'm joking. Oh, I was about to say what? Fucking hell, that really is a secret. That would be a bombshell.

Imagine. Imagine. I just told you I'm Ariana Grande's sister. And then I just went, it's time to try defying gravity. That's a good one for the shower. That's when you proper feel like you're in the West End. You won't bring me down.

Anyway. Have you seen it then? Did you get a private screening? So why the fuck weren't you even at the premiere? No, we didn't even get invited. This is what I'm saying to you. So my sister is a dancer in the film. She is a dancer. She's not Ariana Grande. She's not Ariana Grande. Sorry, that was a lie.

She's dressed up in a hilarious, she's like a bearded green man. Oh, interesting. Yeah. People that have seen it, I don't know what scene that is, but she's like on stilts and she's really tall. She's wearing like a green suit. She spent hours in like getting prosthetics, hours in makeup with like a bald cap and this beard and hours every day. And then hours to take it all off again at the end of the day. And they had to use like special padding on her to bulk her out because she's very slender. You literally fully sat here when your sister is in one of the biggest cinema moments of

the year. Literally of the year. Do you know what's so funny though? Because she does, I mean, this was a really big one for her, but like, because she does stuff all the time, I'm just like, oh yeah, cool, you're in Wicked. But I need to know more. What else has she been in?

You're doing this now. Well, she doesn't do loads of films. Oh, she's in Rocketman. What was she in Rocketman? A dancer. That's what I'm saying. So I said, the roles that she's getting, so is she in like say The Last Dance?

No, but she should have been. I think we were about nine when that came out. Oh yeah, a bit young. She should have been. But yeah, she's just an ensemble, you know, dancer. Did she dance in the back of music videos? She has done a couple of music videos. She's done a Robbie. Robbie Williams! She was in that Dua Lipa one, where they wear like the orange and blue suits. Oh, I don't know anything.

Sing it. Can't remember it. Defying gravity. It's so funny because it's her job. I'm just like, she tells me stuff and I'm like, oh yeah. And also Wicked, she filmed it like, I don't know, like two years ago or something. She was like, it's not coming out until Christmas 2024. And at the time we were like, oh right.

I'm literally so bamboozled. That's ages away. I know. It's so funny. And then when I put that picture on Instagram being like, Oh, right. I'm literally so bamboozled. And then when I put that picture on Instagram being like, Oh, my sister's in Wicked. She's this like green bearded man. So many people in my DMs were like, No, what?

What? Like, hello, what is this? We didn't know. Your sister is fully in the Wicked film. She's fully in it. Does she meet Elton John? No, I don't think so. I don't think he was there.

She met Taron Edgerton, who was playing Elton John though. Oh, he wasn't actually there. It was a recreation of his life. Got you. Yes, a biopic. But is that what it's called? I think so, isn't it? No, a biopic.

Yeah. So yeah, so I didn't think it was that big a deal, but I've just said it here and like put it on my Instagram and everyone's jaws have dropped. I'm utterly bamboozled. Should be loving a bit of self-promotion on the podcast. Go on girl. If anybody would like to hire her, she's a phenomenal dancer. Yeah, give her a job.

Give her a job. Her name's Hayley. Hit her up. Hayley Jones? Yeah. Hayley Jones. Even when I put it on my Instagram, she was like, thanks for the promo. So she's going to be loving this.

She is. What? But yeah, how funny if you've seen it, I don't know whether it's going to be like a really fleeting like glimpse now that I've bigged it up because normally when she's in stuff, I'm so blind that it's like blink and you'll miss it. And she'll be like, Oh, did you see me in that film? And I'm like, no, because I can never. You don't fucking watch film. I can never spot her.

If she's wasted on you. I don't watch films. And also I'm blind. So even if she's on stage, if you Roxanne can join Wicked, that'd be great. So when you go and see it for Roxanne's birthday at your private screening, let me know if you can see her. I need to know though, Hayley,

if it's more than a two second clip. Yeah, cause it is hard to spot sometimes. Like if you're in there full time, best believe I'm gonna be like, I know her. Yeah, I'm with her. I'm with the bearded, stillhood man. Yeah.

It's so funny the roles she gets because we always joke that like, she'll always be playing like a boy or like, you know, she gets cast in like a lot of things that where she plays like a man. She's very slender though, isn't she? Slender, so she's often be like a child or a boy or a man. Which is so sad, isn't it? And this is the ultimate role where she's playing a man. But they poached her out.

They poached her out, they gave her a green beard and I have to say, she looks stunning in it. If anyone can pull it off. It's Hailey. It's she can. Good old Hailey Jones. So there you go, news flash. Wow.

My sister's a star. So that is My Secret, Your Secret, Update, More Update, Debrief, Mine Farts, all over you. That was all sorts, wasn't it? That was everything rolled into one secret. So after the break, we can be? It's me. Catch Dexter Morgan in a new serial killer origin story. Hunger inside of you. It needs a master.

Featuring Patrick Gibson, Christian Slater, special guest star Sarah Michelle Geller with Patrick Dempsey and Michael C. Hall as Dexter's inner voice. I wasn't born a killer. I was made. Dexter Original Sin, new series now streaming exclusively on Paramount Plus, a mountain of entertainment.

Welcome back. We've got three secrets from you we're going to be discussing this week. So Emma, take it away with number one. All right, this says, Hi, Sophie and Emma, my name is Paige and I'm a mum to a five-year-old son, a three-year-old daughter and a six-month-old son. My name is Paige and I'm a mum to a five year old son, a three year old daughter and a six month old son. My secret is that during a soft play trip, my five year old asked me to take him to the toilet. When I returned, my three year old and her two friends had wandered off.

After a quick search, we found them in the party area, digging into someone's brand new birthday cake. With buttercream still on her chin, we made a quick exit. Oops, love Paige from Staffordshire. Cool my girl. That's the kind of thing I would do. Not my cake, don't care. Just eat the cake.

Just eat the cake. Just face plant the cake. What would you do though, in all seriousness, what would you do in that situation? Brand new cake that no one else has tucked into that's meant to be for their birthday. Do you think they're running around in the soft play? Yeah, and then they're all gonna go,

I mean, we're gonna go and do happy birthday now kids. Oh. Imagine looking at the cake and there's just a face implant in the soft play. Yeah. And then they're all gonna go, we're gonna go and do happy birthday now kids. Oh. Imagine looking at the cake and there's just a face implant in the cake. Yeah, hand print. I would do exactly the same as Paige and run away. Would you? Yes, I'm not gonna own up to it.

You'll completely leave the soft play. I think you've got to at that point, haven't you? I'd be smelling everyone's breath. Come here, does it smell of buttercream? She still had buttercream on her chin. Right kids, we've got to go. All right, don't care if we've still got an hour left. We've only just got paid for a full session.

Yeah, get out of here. I took Joseph to a birthday party recently and it was his little friend, Ethan from nursery, but he only knew Ethan at the party. He didn't know anyone else. And he was very Joseph when we got there. He didn't want to play with anyone. He only wanted to play with me.

It was me and him the whole time. We might as well have been there on our own. It was a party of 30 kids. He didn't chat to anyone. Even Ethan, I'm like, toddlers are so funny. Like apparently at nursery they're best friends. I'm like, there's Ethan. Do you want to say happy birthday?

He's like, no. I'm like, okay. I thought you were best mates, but it's like they just coexist. Like they don't actually acknowledge each other. Like as adults, I would love as adults to recreate toddlers. You know, like when you're out and they don't talk to each other in the street or when they just run up and push you

over. Imagine we just greet each other by just pushing you over. Yeah, or just ignore you completely. But he, so he wasn't like invested in like anything to do with the birthday party, like didn't eat any of the snacks, nothing, like didn't sing happy birthday. When they brought the cupcakes out, let me tell you. Ethan, my brother!

It was like, my best mate, first in the queue. He was like, give me one of them. Shoved it straight in his gob. I was like, oh, all right, you're all right now that the cake's here, Having a good time here. Honestly. Ethan's my best pal. Out of the door of the room with the snacks.

Can we go home? Yeah. I'm done. Literally, that was it. He was like, face like thunder. But during the cake time, he was having a lovely time. Yeah. Going home to dad.

What's the best thing about the party? Cake. Yeah. Bless him. Well, thank you, yeah. Going home to dad, what's the best thing about the party? Cake? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Bless him. Well, thank you, Paige. Okay, let's roll into secret number two. Hi, lovely ladies. Last week, I had to do the ultimate walk of shame out of a coffee shop. My two-year-old was in prime toddler mischief mode and while I was ordering, he decided to lick the hand of the lady next to us in the line. There was a lot for me to process and I was like, fuck we're doing the walk of shame. I didn't know we were still doing

this at our age. I thought that. No, we're in the coffee shop. My brain was like, walk of shame, coffee shop, toddler, hand lick. What? There's a whole lot going on here. She says, yep, full on slobbery, toddler, lick. To be fair, she looked just as horrified as I felt and all I could manage was a mumbled sorry as I backed out of there. I've not dared to go back since just in case she's waiting to pounce with hand sanitizer and a scolding. Lots of love from anonymous. I've been waiting for you to come back.

Oh my God. Oh, that is hilarious. Oh my goodness. Toddlers are gross. Like you don't, you can't just lick. Gross or I just think, again, I'm not going to stand next to some other adult and just lick their head. Yeah. I'd get a punch in the face for that. Honestly, if toddler rules. They can get away with anything. They can get away with murder. They really, really could. Wouldn't you love that though? Just someone just go and like lick.

Murder? No, no to lick. I would love it if you licked my hand. Just to lick someone. Just to lick someone in public. If I was in a queue right in a coffee shop and a child licked my hand, I'd be like, spud me. That is iconic. Can you imagine? Fair play. Do my hands smell good? So good. Do you want to eat them? They're rank though. Honestly. I wanted to lick your hand, not have a conversation with you. No lick, anything. Disgusting. So funny.

That is iconic. As a germaphobe, that sends chills down my spine. It's made my day, that is. And moving on to secret number three, and just a reminder that this is a very sensitive topic. Yeah. to secret number three and just a reminder that this is a very sensitive topic. Yeah, this is a bit of a serious secret and it discusses a very sensitive topic. So a trigger warning if you don't want to keep listening, but we're going to be speaking about self harm in this secret. And it says, Hi ladies, I'm reaching out for advice.

My beautiful girl is about to turn 12 and she started self harming. I don't know whether to shout sob with her or never let her out of my sight. I've tried talking to her her but she can't explain why she's doing it and my heart is broken. I just don't know what to do. Any advice would mean the world. Thank you and keep up the great work. Love you both from Holly. I just want to say a massive thank you to Holly for reaching out to speak about something that is so incredibly, you know, it's so incredibly sensitive.

Um, and I just would like to preference by saying this is a safe space for everybody to share the serious and silly. And it's not somewhere we shy away from anything. And I don't want anyone to ever feel alone in anything in the world that they're going through. And this is something that I just want to say thank you for taking the confidence and the time to message in, because I can imagine it's huge. Obviously, we can't give you any advice.

We can advise in this situation is to speak to a medical professional and the people in the know. But it is a place where that if anybody is going through this and does want to contact in anonymously, we want it to be a safe place that people can do this. Yeah. It must be so hard. Yeah. What you're going through.

So yes, thank you for forgetting in touch. But I think it is a hard topic to discuss. Yes, we haven't been through it ourselves, But I think just to create a space where she feels like she can talk to you and talk to her family and whoever else in the house. It seems like they have a really, really lovely relationship, doesn't it? And obviously she's very confused

as to why she's going through this. Why she's doing it, yeah. So it's obviously to my, if it was me in this situation, So it's obviously to my, if it was me in this situation, I just want a really safe, calm, welcoming environment for her to be in, which sounds like that's what they have. And just to be there for her, no matter how difficult it is to listen to, because one day it may just come to her as to why she does it. And it's just allowing her to speak freely, openly with no judgment as mum. Like if I was to talk to mine, I would just want them to know that no matter

how painful or hard it is for me to listen to, it's kind of like we have to put on that little bit of, like sometimes when I'm scared of things, I try not to show the children that I'm scared, you know. Yeah, put on a bit of a front. Yeah, put on a bit of try not to show the children that I'm scared. You know? Yeah, put on a bit of a front to ensure that she's got a safe environment to talk about what's going on. Yeah.

Again, it's doing things. It's maybe I would do sort of things days out. I don't know if anything's been brought up at school or their school have mentioned anything if she's at school and she's happy going to school and things like that. Obviously I would seek things maybe outside of the home if there was a way that I could speak to teachers. Again, with having respect for her because if the school aren't aware of anything, it's a hard topic to cover, isn't it?

Because you wouldn't want them to, you wouldn't wanna break her trust and tell the school, but equally you don't want the school to see anything and then you haven't ever risen the situation, you know? So it is a very difficult one. It's hard. I think the fact that you even know is positive in a way because she could be hiding it from you,

doing it secretly. So that's something I think at least you can try and then work through it together. See if she's open to getting professional help and going to seeing someone could really help. But I think- And offering the opportunity for to go with her, you know. Yeah, of course.

Or if she doesn't want, yeah, she is only 12. Or that she doesn her, you know? Yeah, of course. Or if she doesn't, yeah, she is only 12. She's still a child. Or that she doesn't, you know, it may be that she's not comfortable to talk around her parents, but knowing that you're supporting her by taking her, being there is an option, you know? Yeah. To support her in what she's going through.

I guess for me, it would just be a very slow step process. Yeah, don't rush anything. Yeah, maybe like in the moment when she's feeling like, I'd want it to be a really safe place in the moment as to when she is maybe feeling like that is the time that she would like to do it, to know that she can just say, you know. She can come to you, yeah.

And maybe just like you were saying, trying to do stuff with her outside of you know, what, what other stuff is she interested in? What does she like doing? And finding things she loves to do. Yeah, and making sure that you're taking time to do that stuff with her and spend time with her. And yeah, just letting her know that you're there, but she sounds like you already are. Yeah, it sounds like it's a really lovely environment that you have for her already, because I feel like she's very safe, that she can tell you this. I think what comes from this is that she's a little bit unsure as to why.

Why it's happening. Yeah, I think the thing that really struck me in your message, Holly, is where you said, I don't know what to do. I don't know, I don't want to let her out of my sight. Like, yeah, that's exactly how I would feel because you'd be worried. You just would want to watch her all the time. Just want to wrap her up. Don't you want to wrap her up and not want this to happen to anybody, but definitely not, definitely not your own child. No. And obviously that's not practical. She's got to do things and go to school and be her own person. But yeah, I really feel for you.

It must be draining. It must be mentally exhausting to deal with it because it must be on your mind all of the time. Yeah. And I think everybody here, I don't think there's one person that's not listening to this that just wouldn't feel exactly how you're feeling. Yeah.

And there must be other people going through something similar. Yeah. I think it's probably more, more common than we think. So. Yeah. And that's the, the unfortunate truth of it, isn't it? And I just, you know, this podcast is a place for people to, to share what they're going through, whether it's the good, the bad and the ugly, you know? And I just, I just hope talking about it also as a mum, because out of all of this, you are a mum. Yeah. Yeah. And it's hard for you as well. It is, it is for her in a very confusing time for her. We're all learning every single day, but I hope that you can both find some, some help, some, you know, some professional help that there's going to be people that can not only support your beautiful daughter,

but also to support the both of you. Go with this. Support you as well, yeah. Cause it's a lot for you to go through as well, isn't it? Yeah, cause you just can't imagine that, the moment she's in the house and she's safe, or she's asleep, you know? Sorry, I'm really sorry, I don't mean to.

Oh, of course. I mean, we have to emphasize as well, we can only offer our opinion, but in terms of professional advice, we're not the experts. So I hope you can find some good help and some good support from a professional. But thank you so much Holly for opening up

and getting in touch with us. We appreciate you. And if there is anybody, I'm not saying anybody has to put their name to such a sensitive topic, but if there is anybody that could maybe offer some advice that we could potentially pass on to Holly, if it's not something that you would like to have shared here,

if we could potentially just pass on to Holly and give her a little bit of direction, a little bit of support, because we are all in this together. Yeah, I'm sure Holly would love to hear from someone who's going through something similar. So it doesn't even need to be on the podcast. If that's you then yeah, then let us know. Yeah, send us a message.

We appreciate you. Thank you, Holly. And God bless you. Thank you. Thank you for sharing your secrets this week. Everyone is welcome in the Secret Mum Club. And if you'd like to share your secrets with us, you can. The email is hello at secretmumpod.com

or with Secret Mumpod on TikTok and Instagram. And we'll see you next time on the Secret Mom Club. Get ready for the movie event of the year with Disney's Mufasa the Lion King. It's time. I'll tell you a story. A story?

About Mufasa and the prince who would come to be known as Scar. So glad I brought some crickets. Bring your whole family. Come on, Mufasa, let's get in some trouble. On December 20th, a kingdom of adventure awaits. We can do this. We're busy, let's hustle. Disney's Mufasa the Lion King in theaters and IMAX December 20th.