Secret Mum Club with Sophiena - Welcome to the Secret Mum Club!

Episode Date: June 5, 2023

Come in and join the Secret Mum Club with Sophiena and Emma as they crack into the world of motherhood. In this very special first episode, we hear secrets from Mums who are troubled with co-sleeping, growing beards and not getting on with other parents. Remember this is a judgement-free zone for Mums everywhere, after all… we’re all in this together! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to day one of the secret mum club. I'm Safina. I'm Emma. And this is a podcast to hear and share the secrets that us mums have been keeping to ourselves. Let's be honest, we all have secrets, don't we? And as we know, sharing is caring. So join us in this safe space. You can be totally anonymous and be serious or silly, which kind of sums up the life of a mum, doesn't it? Most definitely. Right, let's get into this, shall we? I'm excited, are you? I'm so excited.

This is juicy. Let's do it. Let's do it. How are you doing? I'm doing good. How are you doing? Tell me about yourself. Well, I've gone from TikTok to podcast.

Because I know you, obviously obviously as a TikTok star but tell our listeners a little bit about you I am yeah I've gone from from doing TikTok it's been about two years it was two years in January and you've got like let's not skip over the fact that you've got two and a half million followers that's a lot which is huge humongous how did it happen I have no idea I mean you were gonna say people ask me all the time and I'm like I don't honestly don't know how I got here I say to anybody when people fall into this position then they want to do do this or they want to be like how do I do an influencer how do I do it you've got to not want it yeah don't want it just enjoy it be yourself and let the nation

fall in love with you and that's what I did was there something that you did on TikTok that like blew up that like all the all the followers came pouring in there's been different things I've gone through stages of my TikTok right so my first TikTok that ever went viral is a Kevin's Kevin Hart skip yeah I've seen you doing those ones with the big bubble yeah yeah I had a couple of those go viral and then I just went live I went live on the account and I didn't want to just sat there and not do anything not be interactive so I thought you know what I'm just gonna cook while I'm on live I'm just gonna cook engage with everybody and just have a jolly time and yeah people then started to ask me about my

cooking video if I could do cooking videos I was like yeah I can do that then I had a carrot macaroni cheese go viral right not necessarily for the good no is it not no people were mad about yeah I think I offended the whole of America it was it was it was it was a tragic time and at that point I questioned should I just get off now shall I just get off you know that whole thing of should I quit while I'm ahead but no I stuck it out you've gone from strength to strength to strength there's loads of like your kids and your partner on there we do everything it's it's integrated into like a family yeah it's like a family content it's just a feel good it's a bit of cooking I don't none of us take ourselves too seriously we have a very lovely happy life and we just like to share it with other people so whether

we're out having dinner we're at home cooking we do some shopping the children's fashion i love to share fashion and that's what we use our platform for just to be a safe place because life's hard there is a lot of people out there that i feel that are on their own that are lonely and do use social media as a place to escape and feel less alone and if i can just make someone stay jolly even if it's just for five minutes you know i'll do that so yeah that's what i've um that's what we've got and we've moved over to instagram so i've got a little bit of instagram going on but instagram is like a it's like a daily diary it's like a follow me in the day as i just ramble ramble rubbish all day long i love watching that you've been doing up your house which is amazing thank you total inspo i wouldn't know where to start you're there like doing the

grouting doing the electrics like how did you have to learn all of that for social media did you know how to do it anyway no i just knew how to do it how do you know i went to i went to work with my dad when i was 11 so my dad used to teach me all of this stuff and i've just carried on doing it but i'm kind of a i'm not an exam girl i'm a hands-on i'd much rather be building flat pack furniture from ikea than sitting down typing on a computer that's my worst nightmare, I feel like we could trade. It's the one thing that my husband can actually do. So that's like a job that I give him in the house. But yeah, this is totally different for me because I work on a radio station.

I was going to say, Pete, tell us about you because I know a lot about you. Yeah, I'm a newsreader. So I'm a very serious person. But I read the news on a radio station called Absolute Radio. So I do that every day on the breakfast show. So it's like early mornings, get up at half past four.

I'm on air from six till ten. And then I get home and look after my baby, Joseph. He's 15 months old and got my husband there as well. He needs looking after as well. So I look after him, Stefan. And yeah, that's me. We were talking about this the other day, weren't we? Because your ship's in the night, you and Stefan.'re you're going from you go in from work he goes out to work

yeah you're like a we never we never see each other and people are like how does is that all right like how does that work in a relationship and i'm like it's great yeah i i love it i love not seeing my husband i think that's probably why we're still together we were talking about this weren't we the other day because my life well there's only three days between us isn't there when we were born we're born three days apart so we've got so much in common but we were talking about how our family lives are so different because you've got Joseph and he's only Diddy yeah and then you've got you're both working partners yeah yeah and then there's me and Chris and it's just full on we're at home he's at home with you all the time. He is.

All the time. All the time. He's taking a break out of work at the moment. Yeah, how's that? It's actually surprisingly working perfect because it works with me being, because I didn't have the flexibility to leave to go to meetings, to go up and see my management and to do everything else that a mum needs to do in her day-to-day so having Chris at home has actually really helped but I would say I'm enjoying it I

would say he maybe not he's like can I can I go back to work but your kids are at school so they're not like they're not there with you all day I can't wait for that they're out between like eight and three yeah perfect although they say this about school don't they they say oh they go to school all day it's not all day it's half a day well yeah because by the time you get everything done in the house you sit there and you think i'll just have myself some lunch and cup of tea get them in 20 minutes i'm talking a nine to five it's relentless it's never ending what have we done to ourselves i don't know so we should probably explain to people what we're doing here why do we want to be doing this let's explain because this is all so normal to you isn't

it well being in front of a microphone is but obviously this is a little bit like i should set up my phone so it just feels a bit more natural yeah you're used to being in front of your phone not in front of a mic i am used to being in front of a mic on a radio show which is obviously really different to a podcast I can kind of speak a bit more freely here and I could swear if I wanted to this is now your safe place if I did that at work I'd probably get sacked so it's a little bit different um but for you it's it's really different so why did you want to do it completely different just because I feel like there isn't a space for anybody to talk or listen to about the actual secrets of being a mum. Like, no, everyone just glosses around it, don't they? There's never any.

I always talk about things on Instagram and I was just like, do you know what? There needs to be a bigger platform because we're not, we're just not spreading the word enough. You know, as much as being a mum is serious, you we all take it really really serious there's also the elements that are absolutely hilarious so many and i don't feel like we get enough of it we don't hear enough of the and it's also as well is i want people to feel normal yeah like you get so categorized into people thinking oh your child shouldn't be doing that have they hit that milestone are they on their centile are they growing correctly oh my gosh he's not talking yet he's not walking she's not you know yeah it's all

of that and i just want people to feel like this is such a safe place no matter what milestone they're at what they're going through we're all in this together and it's all completely normal yeah the things you might not want to share because i think especially on social media sometimes things just look so perfect and but yeah people might not want to share, because I think especially on social media, sometimes things just look so perfect. But yeah, people might not share the things that maybe they're a little bit ashamed about or they feel like they're a little bit different or they're going to get judged for. And here, like we say, you can be totally anonymous. So you can share anything with us. It's a judgment-free zone.

It is a judgment-free zone and it's a safe space and we can all just talk about it because we're just trying to get through it. We're all in this together. We're all in this together. We're all in this together. There's the reference. See, our references. Honestly. We're basically twins. We were talking about this this morning.

Yeah. As the millennials. Yeah. We're true millennials. True. We were throwing them at each other. What did we say this morning? I've been singing the Club Biscuit song.

Because not a lot of people younger than us know that.? I've been singing the Club Biscuit song. Because not a lot of people younger than us know that. But I'm sure all you millennials out there will remember. If you like... A lot of chocolate on your biscuit. Join our club. Literally. Join our club. Anyhow.

Anywho. How's your week been, Soph? I've had a stressful week. Have you? I just keep letting things get on top of me I'm overloading myself You've got a lot on to be fair. I have got a lot on I'm not going to lie to you, I keep sitting back and thinking

and you know when you put into your head when you're like oh is it really that much and you try and underplay it because then you try and feel sorry for yourself and you're like just chill, you're going to be fine but no I've definitely overloaded myself and then I had the period. We call it the period in our house okay the period not me i don't call it this well i do now but the children refer to it as the period right you i'm feeling haven't had this you haven't had

this not yet no no what happened oh you're in for an absolute riot the first time that joseph sees you on your period all hell breaks loose oh no do you have to like explain yeah we've been in shopping centers we've been at home we've been in wherever you can imagine at that point when you need so you know when you go to the toilet and do you enjoy do you take joseph into the toilet if it's just the two of you yeah well actually that is something that's a bit of a nightmare at the moment because he can't really i mean he can now stand up up and kind of walk around. But quite a lot of the time if we're out, I don't want to like put him down on the floor. I have many a time been to the toilet with him on my lap.

He just has to, and I have to kind of shimmy my trousers down with one hand. And then you've got to do the one handed wipe. And then, you know, yeah. While squatting. While squatting. While squatting. Honestly, quads of steel. And also, he's just obsessed with me at the moment. So sometimes even at home, I have to take him into the toilet with me.

Do you ever go in the disabled? Well, often when you're out, there's not accessible toilets. And you can't obviously just leave. I think it's not the done thing to leave your child in a buggy outside. No. So you have to take them in with you. But obviously, you're still in that. what yours are six and five six and four six and four so you're still what taking them in with you no i i basically this is really weird i

never really need the toilet so i only ever go out i'm sorry i don't ever really need the toilet are you dehydrated no i drink loads i just have a very very strong bladder i like to just test the bladder you know test how much i can hold it but we're in the we're in the bit now where we are boy and girl he wants to go into his toilet on his own but i can't help him yeah and she wants to go in the toilet on her her own but obviously i can't be in two places at once and you can't really be in the men's toilets no I can't so I kind of had to and I had this one scenario once we went out and Colby wanted to go in the toilet on his own so I had to stand outside the toilet and every man that came out of the toilet I just had to ask if they could check my son was okay

and it was so awful and I felt so bad like like i was one man come out and i was like is there anybody else in there and he was like well you can't no i don't want to go in there i just want to shout to him and not shouting to every man in the urinal i was just like oh so you're doing okay in there and he's like yes oh gosh i'm so sorry but yeah we've um the the toilet situation is difficult especially plus as wellottie now won't go in the toilet with Chris because she doesn't want to see the men having wee-wees. Yeah, yeah. And you just, it's not something you ever think of.

It's a tricky one in like a mixed gender household, isn't it? Yeah. Because I grew up with three sisters and I feel like it was all just like... Women. Just women and it was fine. Periods. Women and periods and my dad just ignored everything.

But when you're first on your period, obviously, that might be quite worrying for a child. So do you have to explain what's going on? So it's when they know. So they come in and obviously they're like, you're bleeding to death. It's a horror story. You have to go through the process of shouting to Chris,

Dad, Mum's bleeding. And then they're like, do you want me to get you a plaster? And're like no no no no please don't shout to dad i don't i don't need a plaster so now we had a situation not so long ago where colby was like it's okay dotty you're gonna get the period and you're gonna bleed one day and then she was like what i'm not gonna bleed am i and he was like yeah i didn't get it i'm a boy oh smug honestly it's the worst thing in the world so now they just shout wherever they go they're like i'm not coming to bleed, am I? And he was like, yeah, I didn't get it. I'm a boy. Oh, smug. Honestly, it's the worst thing in the world. So now they just shout wherever they go. They're like, I'm not coming in the toilet with you. It's the period.

Wherever we go. Oh, great. Cheers, guys. You haven't had this yet. The absolute nightmare of the period. I don't know what it is about kids. They're obsessed with like periods and tampons. Because I'm 35 nearly.

And my parents still tell a story about how I came down into one of their dinner parties when I was younger, swinging my mum's tampons round by the strings. And I've mentioned that to a few people and they're like, oh yeah, the tampons, my kids are obsessed with them as well. What is it? I don't know. They look like little sweeties or something maybe. We put them in the glass of water. It's a fun craft if you're at home. You dab it with pen on the end of the tampon and put it into the water.

Watch it swell up swell up and the water changes it's an education honestly who'd have thought tampons and sanitary fascinating yeah and they love filling the sanitary towels up to see how heavy there's like on the advert with the blue liquid oh endless fun to be had oh that's enough of the period i want to know about your week how's your week do you know what little joseph he's not been very well he's had a few things going on bless him all at once so he's teething he's i think he's getting like the back teeth through which everyone says is like the worst the worst one but we didn't really notice and he just like had his mouth open at a certain

angle the other day and we were like oh my god he's suddenly got like two molars wow no wonder he's been a bit grumpy so they've popped through he's had hand foot mouth which before i was a parent i was like mad cow disease i thought it was my cow disease because that was foot and mouth wasn't it i don't know the one from the 90s bsc i'm pretty sure it was hand foot it's only when you become a parent that you realize these like victorian sounding illnesses are just viruses that all kids get. So he's had that, hand, foot and mouth, horrible blisters on his hands, his feet and his mouth,

hence the name. And he's a bit constipated. Oh, no. So he needs a little bit of help getting his poos out. Help? Help, yeah. It's quite sad to watch him because he really strains and sometimes you have to give him because he really strains.

And sometimes you have to kind of give him a little bit of a cuddle to kind of coax out the poo. Is that normal? I don't know. We're going to say it's normal because it's normal for Joseph. And he's only little. So I just, I can't watch him struggle. But bless him, he sits there and he gets upset sometimes and has a little cry because he can't get his poo out. Oh my gosh, stop.

I've never had to cuddle them where they have a poo. little cuddle and pat him on the back i know i know i've had to do the old um you know the bike bike yeah when you've got to do it it comes out like play-doh oh what oh my god i used to find it so fascinating when you could get a big one out and just be like no we used to do that for, but I've never seen it for Pooh. That's disgusting. It's like when you put the Play-Doh in and it squishes out of the machine. So phenomenal. We had to do that for Wind

when he was younger because he was a really colicky baby and everyone said, why do the bicycle legs, all that stuff, pump him up, pump, pump, pump him up. So we did all that,

but yeah, now it's the Poohs. But I'm just hoping it's like a phase that he gets out of because I don't feel like I can be cuddling through a poo when he's like 17 years old mom i need a poo come on you're 25 come on you're moving out now it's time we moved on you've got your own wife and children yeah this is inappropriate oh dear we'll never get over the poo no i feel bad for him the poo is iconic that's gonna be on

record and he's gonna be so embarrassed when he's older bless him maybe he won't i'm a bit poo phobic though are you poo phobic i'm very open about talking about like just like toilet humor i don't mind anyone else's poo but it's just my own poo like i had to have a oh my god i had to have a poo at the train station this morning i got into waterloo and i was like i can't hold it i don't poo anywhere other than my own toilet but i had so such bad nerves today such bad butterflies that i had to take a poo it's because you had a coffee and a banana i didn't have a coffee i told you i didn't have one because i didn't want to poo but you needed to anyway because you were nervous. I had to spray perfume in the pan before I went

and stuff it with loo roll in case anyone heard. Only saving grace is I feel like someone channeled my energy because she put the hand dryer on. Oh. Because I'm backed up with some wind in here and we're about to blow out the whole of Waterloo with my butt. Crumbs. It was horrific.

I don't feel like you are poo-phobic because you talk about it quite openly. Anyone else's poo. It's just my own poo. You're like Stefan. He only poos at home and he never needs a wee. You and him are like the same. Yeah.

He's like a camel. I only ever poo at home. Sometimes the only wee is on Wednesday. And I had to come out of Waterloo like... I even come out of the cubicle and stood at the sink for a bit longer so no one would guess the cubicle. Guess the cubicle. I'd get out there as quickly as possible so that nobody could associate you with the smell.

Do you know what I mean? It didn't smell like half a bottle of perfume down the back. Smell like Joe Malone. I'm well off, do you think I am? Jo Malone. I had a bit of, what's it, ghost? Do you remember ghost? No, a bit of like impulse.

Impulse. Spray. Licks Africa. Sorry, that wasn't for the record, was it? They'll keep that in there. No, I was all off mic. What was Emma doing in that segment? She was just enjoying the poo.

She was reclined back enjoying it. I thought we were having an off-the-record chat about poo. So the podcast, it's not just about you and me, is it? No. It's about getting everyone involved. It's the Secret Mum Club for everybody. And everyone is welcome. Yeah, we want you to share your secrets with us.

And you can get in touch with us in the following ways. So it's email hello at secretmumpod.com or you can find us on tiktok and instagram we're secret mum pod and we want to hear all of your secrets it can be anything from the serious to the silly like we've said you can be totally anonymous between us we've probably heard it all before we have and remember we're all in this together i don't know what the words are we need to find out the rest of the song lyrics because if we're going to have this as a feature we need to get those lyrics the least we can do down to a t every week we're going to be sharing our secrets and yours in the Secret Mum Club. And my secret this week, I am co-sleeping with my five-year-old daughter. Still.

Still. What happened? Let me elaborate. I renovated my daughter's bedroom with my own bare hands for her to sleep in there. And do you know what? she doesn't sleep in her room we're we're barking on five years we are there we are fully nearly five years into this and she is still permanently in your bed i mean i can get her to sleep in her room but we're talking like midnight we're talking midnight she's in my bed like the

raging octopus that she is is she's all arms and legs she's one inch is the other end head in my ribs feet on chris and then she'll swivel around like doing a 360 i don't know what's going on how many nights does she last in a nice new bedroom four we got four days she does she does like she has little stints and then i think oh bloody hell this might be it we'll get like a week of her sleeping in her own room and then do you know what i find out at the end of that week what she was sick she was so shattered she couldn't even wake up so that's the only reason she stayed in there so when she's fighting fit and she's at her healthiest she's in our room how do you fight because i think co-sleeping is a really like it's a bit of a contentious issue

isn't it like having had a baby people had so many thoughts on like whether you should put them in your bed or whether they should go straight in their bed or how old they should move into their own room or whether you should do sleep training or just like everyone's got a thought on it and i think people think co-sleeping is really bad especially when they're really little people worry about the safety aspects of it they think oh you'll never get them back into their sleeping in their own room and i secretly actually loved it when joseph was really little because i was breastfeeding as well so i just found that easier to just roll over feed him in the night everyone's getting more sleep yes it actually wasn't as bad as i feel like people made out and he did we got him into his own room at six months like granted he didn't really sleep

through the night until just walk in there no just no no he he fought it a little bit he probably didn't start sleeping through the night until he was like over one i would say yes which when you're in it you think oh this is when is this ever gonna end but actually they do get there but now you're telling me when he's five he's gonna be back in my bed well if i'm honest i am i wasn't a boobie i was not a boob feeder i was a bottle feeder and i absolutely adore women that boobie feed but i was not putting my ugly boobs in my brand new baby's face i've got got an issue with poo and boobs me my own poo and my own boobs i just can't i just couldn't do it so we bottle fed colby also had a milk

intolerance so he was on a special special formula and dotty was she just liked her own bed but did you bother doing any of the like sleep training milestones like trying to get them into their own cot by a certain age and i feel like it's a really really sore topic to talk about yeah and i feel like you say thought i say people's opinions people like to put their opinions on you and i think if you can just find your way that is the best way but i know there's people that have their worries and thoughts about it and i get that but you have to do what is best for you because at the end of the day you're tired and you need to just do the best to get a good night's sleep you just gotta get through it but neither of mine were co i never co-slept mine both of mine so colby was in like a chico next to me bed yeah and dotty had the same but dotty didn't like any noise so from day

two she was in her in her bedroom because we only live in a little bungalow so the bedrooms are next door to each other so she was just in our cot from day two whereas Colby was in our room until he was probably about yeah same as Joseph six months which I think is like about what normal whatever normal is that's like average I would say yeah so when did she start creeping back in is it a recent thing as soon as she could walk she never slept in her own room she was yeah and she walked at 11 months. So it's been four years. It's been a long time. Yeah.

And it's just, I don't know. You know, I love her dearly. And you know what? It's that bit of me that secretly does really love it. I know, that's the thing. You do think like in your head, you're thinking like, oh, I'm making a rod for my own bag. This is a nightmare. I'm never going to get out, break out of this routine.

But then secretly you're like, this is lovely, isn't it? Yeah. I feel like it's going to be that situation with Joseph. You know, you're going to be massaging him out of his poo at 17. He's going to be in your bed at 17. He's going to be little spoon. I'm going to be big spoon. There'll be no room for my husband.

And yeah, we'll all be happy. No. No, it's true. It's so traumatic, isn't it? The problem is is is you just rush the time on i know they're not little for long and i feel like dotty she's only five like she's not she's probably not going to be 16 and still sleeping in your bed so i think at the moment it's like the whole thing with the cutlery when people are like are you not going to teach

him to use cutlery well he's not going to go on his first date at 18 and not know how to use a hand yeah like it, it's fine. They'll get there. But as much as it does stress me out, I relish in it. Yeah. I do love soaking it. It's when they, like, stroke your head or they, like, cradle your head or you hear them and they're like, I love you.

Touch their little soft hands. Oh, don't. Honestly, I soak it up as much as I sit here and say, you know, it's a difficult time. I want people to feel like they're not alone yes it's completely normal and nothing lasts forever you're their safe space and they need you and I always think there's a reason she's coming to my room is because she needs us yeah she's feeling a little bit unsafe she's not feeling herself and I do soak it up but I just want others to feel like it's normal you know it's It's a normal thing. So that's my secret.

And after the break, we'll be coming back to hear your secrets. Right, we are back after the break. We've all had a poo and a wee and a drink. We're back at the secret, the secret segment. So we're going to roll into this week's secrets from you. Not Emma, again, from you. I'm a very closed book. Okay, here's secret number one.

Hi, Soph and Emma, here's my secret. I know it's good for my child to mix with other kids, but I hate a lot of the other parents. So here's the question. Do I force myself to attend parties and things for her own good, much to my disgust, blimey, or do I just force her to be friends and things for her own good, much to my disgust? Blimey. Or do I just force her to be friends with kids that I approve of?

Oh, wow. It's a tricky one, isn't it? This is anonymous as well. I think it should stay that way. Wow. What do you think? I feel like it's one of those things where, I mean, I'm not really into this yet because Joseph's only 15 months old.

So like we don't have like the school gate problem of like chatting to the other parents and stuff. But I feel like it's just one of those things where you kind of just have to get on with the people that your kid is friends with. It's like party season, isn't it? Honestly, this is a difficult one. See, I'm a real lover of people though. Yeah, I feel like you can't relate to this because you would get on with everyone. Yeah, I love a good chat.

I do love talking to people. I guess it's the parties that you have to go to that you maybe not necessarily like the child. Like sometimes there's some children that are a little bit of a bad influence and we try and steer away from them at school because they cause behavioural, you know, when they're a little bit of a bad influence and we try and steer away from them at school because they cause behavioral you know when they're a little bit naughty but would i send them to the party in the first place probably not you wouldn't let them go no not if i felt like the child

causes disruption maybe in the classroom yeah and we've had multiple issues because we have and that's normal because that's the way children are just like us we can had multiple issues because we have and that's normal because that's the way children are just like us we can't like everybody can we and I feel like it's expression for children um but yeah I maybe just wouldn't go to the party do you not feel like the more you say to your kids like I don't really want you to be hanging around with that person the more they're going to want to do it no because i don't think we learn that until we're a little bit older to be manipulative because i would have never known that yeah you know six years old yeah so i guess it depends on the age and being very mindful of how you word it but we we talk a lot

about our friends we talk a lot about the friends and we talk a lot about how our friends make us feel so like if colby's had a good day at school we talk about what he did and what the friends were the friends he was with and what he was doing and we try and talk really positively about the good days yeah and the days where he's having a really good day because the bad days are rare but when you do have a bad day it's just like oh what do we think we should do should we still play with them or do you think this is the second time it's happened do you think we should not maybe play with them yeah if you're not having a nice time with them having a nice time so we try and do it as positively as we possibly can but with the party situation some parties you do actually

have to stay the parents don't parents the parents don't make you or you could just pop some little airpods in take a laptop and watch a video and just oh sorry i'm working or you nod along and you go yeah yeah and the whole time you're listening to a podcast with your earphones yeah just listen to us and just get through yeah we'll get you through it save us save us to the end of the year for when you've got your party yeah but it is a difficult one how do you feel like you would deal with it i mean i've only really met other parents that like we had did have first birthday party season um and we go to some like baby clubs and stuff like that. So you do meet other generally mums, not really dads. But luckily for me, like a lot of my friends had kids at the same time. Weirdly, when Joseph was born, I knew about 10 other people having a baby at the same time that I already knew. So really, luckily, we were already friends with the people that now we're hanging out with because they've got kids the same age so that's worked out really nicely nice because

they were already my friends but i think if you don't know them that well but your kids just happen to be friends then i kind of think you've just got a it's the school isn't it it's when they go into school yeah you can't control that you can't control that and you cannot control who they're friends with. You've just got to talk about it. You've just got to... We're a very open family. We talk a lot about our feelings and, you know, every action has a reaction.

So I feel like it's maybe just steering them away from the children that you're... Yeah. And in terms of the parents, I think you've just got to make polite small talk, unfortunately. I'm going to say, I do love a good natter, though. Yes. I love me a good chap. I feel like this wouldn't be a problem, unfortunately. Yeah, I'm going to say, I do love a good natter, though. Yes.

I love me a good chat. I feel like this wouldn't be a problem for you. No, I find no issue. I quite enjoy them. They're probably the ones at home going, oh, that's so Sarah again. Can't shut her up. They're the ones all avoiding me.

If you've invited Safina and Colby, I'm not coming. I'm out. Without further ado, let's move on to number two. Secret number two. You're a poet it says hello safina my dilemma is my youngest is two she's copying everything her big brother does he is nine from climbing up the slide the wrong way joseph's already doing that to jumping off the stairs you've never seen two parents move so quickly also topped it by two of Believe me, it isn't worth the aggro of them fighting over a beanbag. You must know a lot about this.

I cannot relate to this any harder than what I do. I have to buy it in exactly the same item, but different colours. Literally had it this weekend. He wanted a yo-yo. She's got no idea what to do with a yo-yo. All I'm thinking is very scary things with a yo-yo. That could happen. He had to have a yo-yo. could happen he had to have a yo-yo

therefore I had to buy her one in pink right so I get the whole the whole double um also with my two because they were very similar in age Colby there's only two years between them yeah it wasn't so scary because Colby was still quite little but obviously having a seven year age gap yeah I guess I'd maybe speak to the older one. Would you? And say like, you need to role model some behavior for the little one. Yes.

But my two, I just think they're bouncy. And I do feel like they just need to find their own way. That's easier said than done. Cause I'm like, I don't want to wrap Joseph up in cotton wool, but I also don't want him to like injure himself really badly so like he's at the age now where he doesn't really understand

like risk and he thinks he can just like jump up and down on the sofa and jump up and down on the bed and like will fall off and and bump his head and every time something happens and obviously he will scream like when he's hurt and I I it just, it sends like shivers through me to know that he's going to hurt himself. But that's how I learn. Literally. And it's awful. I can't tell you how many times they've fallen off of the bed. Some of the injuries.

You were just telling me about. Yeah. Colby. Colby always hurts himself, honestly. And I say to him now, we had an episode with him having an accident in his bedroom he thought he was spider-man 360 off of the arm of the bed cut all his face open on the his little football table but i now say to him do you want to jump off the bed again no no no never jumping off that bed so he's learned yeah yeah yeah i think little ones are clueless you've just got

to say maybe to the older one let's let's rein it in let's tone it down a bit yeah let's not try and jump down a full flight or you could have their like their own time yeah so like maybe if the two-year-olds having a nap yeah you could then say should we do something really fun with the nine-year-old yeah in the garden to try and get some of the energy out yeah yeah but lush that is i love that i love i totally can relate to that that's that's lovely that is a bit of me yeah so the last secret says secret mum's club what do you make of this i have a two and a half year old daughter she's recently started saying she wants a beard i have no idea how to respond

well i love how you just went into that i wasn't even fully prepared for that you just went straight in with number three i would say hormonally she probably can't grow a beard hey just yet back up i was gonna say i grow myself quite a nice beard proud of my little my little beard that i can grow oh they're so funny aren't they the things they come out they are yeah but i feel like you do there is a lot of thing and being on tiktok has opened my eyes to how different parenting styles like i love the platform for what it gives and there is people that are embracing little boys wearing dresses or tights or wearing wigs and little girls that are dressing up as builders like i see it more maybe from the

boy side putting a dress on that I do maybe see the girl side um but I do not that I don't discourage it I just say we'll just draw on with some eyebrow pencil yeah yeah yeah I think maybe she wants to be like her if her dad's got a beard maybe a grown-up maybe she's like I want to have a beard like daddy because maybe daddy's like her you know her role model yeah which isn't lovely yes so yeah draw it on with a crayola make sure it's not permanent or no even just like a little eyebrow pencil a little eyebrow pencil or get her a stick on one from like a fancy dress shop yes and then or make fun you could make like fun out of it couldn't you not fun out of it but like make it a fun activity yeah let's draw on a bit of makeup yeah yeah i think it would be quite fun i quite like that idea obviously i live with

i live with colby he's got his long hair don't i so do you get a lot of comments about that yeah people think he's a do people think he's a girl yeah and it's it's yeah it's horrible does that bother him he's not bothered in the slightest that's good he's not bothered at all absolutely adores his long hair. I ask him multiple times. The day he tells me he wants to cut it. It can be heartbroken. I promise I will cut it off.

I don't know. I don't know because I feel like I'm just going with him and his emotions. Have you never cut it? Never. He has it trimmed. But yeah, we've. He's never had it short? No.

He's only ever had like a little short curly bob or he's just, it's the longest it's ever been at the moment. It's like near untouching his bottom bottom he's got lovely hair beautiful hair but even when we had his ears pierced i he was like oh i want to get my ears pierced i was like let's do it yeah i got to the shop i was like oh which side do you want it on he was like if i'm having them done i'm having them both yeah and he was the and he said well none of the other boys have got it at school done both so i want both i want to be different yeah and he loves it he embraces it and we talk quite openly about it and i just think the world would be a nicer place if we could just all yeah just embrace it be ourselves love who we are you know that's brilliant i love that i love that so yes i fully encourage just having a little

bit of fun with it and letting her express herself give the kid a beard yes we made it oh now we can breathe that was nice wasn't it the poo at waterloo was worth it wasn't it you're a bit nervous today over you nervous nervous is an understatement nervous is an understatement but we we made it made it through and i've had fun yeah i feel like this is the duo that I didn't know I needed in my life like the soul sister Sunny and Cher Anne and Dec Bonnie and Clyde

maybe not that one oh no is that a bad one I think they died at the end oh crumbs we'll stick with Anne today anyway yeah

Jedward no it's been lovely thank you for sharing everyone yes thank you for all your secrets and thank you for all being here.

You can get in touch with us and share your secrets. The email is hello at secretmumpod.com and we're also secretmumpod on TikTok and Instagram. I'm not going to lie, I am so excited. I can't wait. For next week's secrets. And if you're enjoying the podcast, why not share it in your mum group chats?

And we'll see you all next time on the secret mum club