Secretly Incredibly Fascinating - Toasters

Episode Date: June 27, 2022

Alex Schmidt is joined by comedians Kimberly Clark ('Tiffany Haddish Presents: They Ready', The Late Late Show) and Moujan Zolfaghari ('Mission To Zyxx' podcast, 'Tooning Out The News') for a look at why toasters are secretly incredibly fascinating. Visit http://sifpod.fun/ for research sources, handy links, and this week's bonus episode.

Toasters. Known for being shiny. Famous for... junk. Nobody thinks much about them, so let's have some fun. Let's find out why to a whole new podcast episode. A podcast all about why being alive is more interesting than people think it is. My name is Alex Schmidt, and I'm not alone. Mujan Zulfagari and Kimberly Clark are my guests this week. Mujan is an amazing improviser and podcaster. I hope you know her from the team making Mission to Zix. And Mission to Zix is a long-form improv comedy podcast set in a science fiction universe.

It's an amazing show and saga and kind of thing, and the final season is out now. You can also catch Mujan on the animated comedy show Tuning Out the News on Paramount Plus and Comedy Central. Mujan also helped get this podcast off the ground. She was on a very early episode about going to the beach, and I'm so glad she's back for this one. And then Kimberly Clark is a new guest and a fantastic stand-up comedian. She has credits all over, including The Late Late Show with James

Corden, and she has a new special on Netflix. Kim's stand-up special is Season 2, Episode 4 of Tiffany Haddish Presents They Ready, which is a whole just wonderful series of great comics. I've just seen it. If you like this show, I think you'll like that set a lot. Again, that is Tiffany Haddish Presents They Ready, Season 2, Episode 4. The comic's name is Kimberly Clark. Also, I've gathered all of our zip codes and used internet resources like native-land.ca to acknowledge that Mujan and I each recorded this on the traditional land of the Canarsie and Lenape peoples, acknowledge Kim recorded this on the traditional land of the Gabrielino-Ortongva and Keech and Chumash peoples,

and acknowledge that in all of our locations, native people are very much still here. That feels worth doing on each episode. And today's episode is about toasters, which is a perfect topic for this show. Many, many thanks to Brenda Young for that perfect idea. Also, holy cow, this is a milestone episode of the podcast. This is episode 100 of Secretly Incredibly Fascinating. Big round number. I am so grateful to be here and to be here with you. And I feel full of gratitude, especially to every patron of this show, including people who dove in on the membership drive that was part of the run-up to episode 100 and made this the time they jump in and support the show. Everybody who's a patron of this show is the entire reason it exists. There are two big things you can do for any independent podcast. The two big things are directly support it or tell a friend to go check it out because then they might directly support it, too. And in the in the membership drive I did running up to this episode, dozens and dozens and dozens of you did that thing.

gobsmacking in a great way. It is just such a thing that I appreciate and can't thank you enough for. I hope you feel proud of 100 episodes of this podcast because they wouldn't be here without you. And then as far as what a 100th episode of this podcast should be, I thought about what I've heard on like some other podcasts when they hit 100th episode or a huge milestone. And a lot of times there's like a big parade of different guests or it's a hundredth episode or a huge milestone. And a lot of times there's like a big parade of different guests or it's a mega long episode or there's other bells and whistles like that. With this podcast, I'm trying my very hardest every week. And if there was a better version that I could do or like a mega version I could do, I would just do that every week. So I'm very proud to present you a totally normal episode

for episode 100. I'm just as proud of it as all the past ones, just as proud as I'm going to be of episode 101 that I just taped or episode 102, episode 103, any others that are going to come, because it's a privilege to be part of your week every week. And I hope this podcast honors that. I'm also growing confident this intro is running long. So I'm going to leave it there with a thank you and with a diving in to the fun that we always have. Please sit back or sit proudly knowing you made 100 episodes of this show happen. Either way, here's this episode of Secretly Incredibly Fascinating with Kimberly Clark and Mujanzul Faghari. I'll be back after we wrap up. Talk to you then. Kim, Mujan, it is so good to have you on. And, of course, I always start by asking guests their relationship to the topic or opinion of it. Either of you can start.

But how do you feel about toasters? I mean, I'm a fan. I really like them. I recently purchased a new one. It's a new one that looks retro, but it's cheap as hell, so it works for both my interests. And, you know, I grew up with toasters around me. I know people who have toasters, so, you know, I feel very strongly toward toasters.

Right on. Okay. Mujan, is it like a slot one or is it a toaster oven? Oh, no, it's a slot one. It's just your basic two at a time. Nothing too crazy. Kim, how about you? I just bought my mom a new toaster for Mother's Day and she is

of a certain age. So toasters have gotten really complicated. I mean, especially if you get like the toaster oven slash broiler combo, because you have to do the whole push the knob to the left and then do it to the right. It's almost like using like one of those backup cars where you have to like push it backwards to let it go forward it's so weird but um i love toast more than i love toasters because i feel like toasters take up a lot of counter space and i'm really trying to adopt the minimalist um lifestyle and toasters just don't line up with that for me in terms of how much space they take. You know, I have to make my toast in the oven now because I don't I no longer own a toaster anymore. Like after my last one went out, I was like, you know what? I don't need all

this counter space taken up with appliances. You know, I don't want it to look like the appliance aisle in Walmart, you know. So I no longer, I love toast more than I love toasters. And are you, you said in the oven, are you using like the full oven oven to make toast? Oh yeah. Like preheated and everything. I'm turning it on. Yeah. oh yeah like preheated i'm turning it on yeah yeah even even um even in the summertime which is crazy because i live in burbank california which is the valley of los angeles and it's not near

the ocean so there's no beautiful ocean breeze coming through while I have the hot oven blaring in my kitchen for two pieces of toast. Have you perfected like how long your toast is in that oven? Or what's your what's how many degrees and how long do you keep it there? You know what, it depends on how fast I want the toast. Like, of course, I'm going to turn it up if I need it fast. But I think 300 is pretty good for a couple of minutes and it's ready. I don't like a burnt toast. I just like a little tiny bit of golden crisp on it. And I put the butter on right away so it's nicely melted in there. I don't like to see solid pieces of butter on my toast.

I like it. But I'm not going to put the butter on the bread and into the oven. Some maniacs do that. But, you know, you do risk butter drippings going to the bottom of your oven and the elements. And then you have a little small smoke fire. It gets really complicated I really believe when you said before that you have a passion for toast

and not for toasters this is coming through strongly yeah I will literally eat like a half of bag of ciabatta bread toasted in one sitting easily and I guess I feel like I'm toasted. Yeah. In one sitting. Easily.

And I guess, I feel like I'm sort of a, not Goldilocks, but like, Mujan has a slot toaster. Kim is using the entire oven. We have a toaster oven currently. We are right in between. Most of the show is going to be about slot toasters and like the classic pop-up-and-down toaster. But

we definitely had a slot toaster growing up. And then my roommates and now my partner have all had toaster ovens and I've had no interest in them. And I don't miss the slot toaster. Don't totally need it. It's fine. Yeah. I mean, whenever I think of the toaster oven, I think fancy. I think growing up, that's what the fancy people had. And, you know, the toaster ovens are now coming with air fryers because the toaster oven that I purchased for my mom also has an air fryer option. Oh, that's smart. Which I'm like, they're really going there with the toasters.

But also, at the end of the day, it sounds like an oven. Thank you. Let's just put them all together where they once were. It's just another thing on your counter. Yeah. And another plug. I feel like the plug issue is also a huge limitation of these things. Our Brooklyn kitchen has like two outlets total, and it's been a real power strip rigging situation.

I always, after i toast my toast i always unplug i don't know why i have a fear that it will blow up i feel like a lot of people do that yeah just yeah i do like i don't keep it plugged all the time that feels unsafe to me oh yeah yeah each time not unless you have like a toaster clock. Are there any toasters with clocks on them? There's got to be some futuristic ones. Because I know my mom keeps her microwave plugged in. Yeah.

Because there's a clock on it. Yeah. But the toaster always gets unplugged. Always. Also, the one I bought is like maybe $25, so I'm pretty sure it will blow up. Like, I don't... It does its job, but I don't...

I think it could do other jobs and I don't want it to do those other jobs. Yeah, you don't want to explore those unknown territories. I'm very excited that this show will have at least one unknown territory of toasters. It's going to be a lot of fun. Yeah. And I think from here we can get into the first chunk of it, because on every episode,

our first fascinating thing about the topic is a quick set of fascinating numbers and statistics. This week, that's in a segment called... The best part of statistics is numbers in your mind. And that name was submitted by Kelsey Legidol. Thank you, Kelsey. We have a new name for this segment every week. Please make a massillion wacky and bad as possible. Submit to SifPod on Twitter or to SifPod at gmail.com. And heads up for long-time listeners, this one, it'll be a couple numbers, then the takeaways of the show, and then more numbers at the end.

So mixing it up a little bit. But the first number here is less than five years. And less than five years is, according to Wirecutter.com, the lifespan of a new toaster. And I'm sorry, Mujan, but they say if you buy a new toaster, don't expect it to last beyond five years of starting to use it. It's going to break down. Interesting. Sounds like an iPhone.

Yeah. Like they were built to not last. That seems rude. Yeah, apparently they are now. And I didn't know about this. I don't follow toaster culture. But apparently, Wirecutter's entire page about, here's our guide to toasters. The first thing on it is, don't buy a toaster because they're going to break down.

They say, quote, no matter how much you spend, toasters aren't made to last like they once were, end quote. There's a belief that vintage toasters were built to last. New ones just fall apart. Yeah. That's real because my mom has a blender that's older than me. It's from like, oh my God. She might've gotten it for her as a wedding gift. Makes sense.

And it's glass. Yeah. Let me tell you something. That thing but it has vitamix vibe to it and i'm like this blender is amazing so i mean that makes sense about toasters nowadays like they don't you know yeah i think like thinking about my family we i don't i think we just had that one toaster we didn't change it every five years. I also feel like not many people know that. And so

even if it's supposed to last for five years, similar to an iPhone, I will have an iPhone 6 until it will explode. Right. I wonder if there's people that are upgrading their toasters though, like when they got the new...

Yeah, there's gotta be toaster heads out there. Yeah. There's people that are upgrading their toasters, though, like when a new like, oh, they got the new. Yeah, there's got to be like toaster heads out there. Yeah. It's got to be like a Reddit slash our slash toaster or something like that. You know, I I didn't find a specific community. I learned a little bit about them. The next number is 151. And 151 is the number of separate parts in a sunbeam brand toaster from the 1970s and apparently toaster heads love the sunbeam brand in particular that's like if you want a

vintage toaster you need to get one sometime between 1949 and 1980 and the number of parts comes from a book called things come Apart by Todd McClellan, where they he just separates a bunch of different appliances out into all the little components. And apparently Sunbeam until they were bought up and kind of watered down after the 80s. They were the brand of a great toaster that lasts forever. And people really, really love it. Interesting. They're the iphone or toasters basically sunbeam yeah but like even built more to last like apparently they're i found a modern business that refurbishes and resells old sunbeams specifically because people are that passionate about them

this is not an ad for sunbeam it's just what it turns out toaster heads are freaking out for it should be though but is the price is it like a you know like certain things get better the prices go up through aging like is it like a good bottle of old wine i don't know is that how people talk? You get that 1975 crumb on your toast. Does it enhance the flavor? Yeah. This toast is so bright. Ah, like sunglasses on. Yeah, that's a good question.

I couldn't find any reliable guide to prices of these now, but it was a Chicago business, and then it got bought up by another company that like watered down the quality of the toasters and so now if you buy a new one it's like all these other toasters that wire cutter says you should not buy muja i think you said you spent 25 on your new toaster yeah that is that is around the right price for a new toaster wire cutter says their pick is a 30 dollar cuisinart toaster uh and then like the upgrade breville kind is 80 but uh like you're truly buying a used toaster if you want the

vintage uh unbeatable kind yeah now that makes me like think like what is the most expensive toaster and does it does it matter right it doesn't matter because they're all going to... It's just going to do the same thing. It's going to do the same thing, yeah. One's going to do it better than the other. Hold on. Oh, I'm on Amazon. I'm looking up.

I found one for $119. $119. Still toast. Oh, no. Oh, no, but this is like, yeah, industrial, like conveyor toaster stuff. You can get one for $5,427. Oh, my God. It's the Toast King conveyor toaster, which you can have like 12 toasts at the same time.

You're making toast for an army. Yeah. You're running a diamond hole. Yeah, prison, sure. Yeah, yeah prison sure yeah yeah yeah prison toast still gonna it's still gonna work in five years it's pretty disappointing yeah if i'm gonna spend that much money on a toaster i want the toaster to be self-cleaning yeah now that's a function that they should have because you know cleaning a toaster i don't care if it's slotted a toaster oven that is

a you know what with the crumbs and then you're trying to avoid the element in there and i mean some some toasters are easier than others to clean but i don't know so i sometimes toast like a muffin i cut the muffin up and then it you know it gets stuck and then the remnants are in it forever and it gets burned and then it you know explodes but some the remnants are in it forever, and it gets burned, and then it explodes. But some people, I think they toast things that aren't bread in there. Or no, like meats, right? I feel like some people, there's now meat, and there's eggs. There's other things you can toast in a toaster.

In a slat toaster or a toaster? Yeah, yeah, yeah. In a slat toaster. Maybe you're not supposed to, but I feel like I heard a friend who probably shouldn't have did like a Beyond Burger, which they shouldn't have, right? No? Okay, never mind. Wow.

Well, you could put Pop-Tarts in there, right? Yeah, Pop-Tarts. Yeah, I've done a Pop-Tart in a slot toaster. That works out. Yeah, yeah. That was made for a slot toaster. Maybe not meat. Don't...

Okay, we should move. Yes. No, I'm trying to wrap my mind around something moist going in there. Yeah. Yeah. And Mujan, is that your muffins are going in a slot toaster? Like you're chopping it into slices and then putting slices of muffins. Yeah, I chop it into slices.

Yeah. Okay. See, now I want to try that. Actually, that sounds pretty good. A toasted muffin? I mean, come on. Yeah. I, yeah. Okay. See, now I want to try that, actually. That sounds pretty good. A toasted muffin? I mean, come on. Yeah, in this regards, I'm more into the toasted muffin than the toaster, because the toaster usually messes it up. Right.

I should use an oven, but I'm just impatient. I just want it to happen fast. And I like the action of it going, bing! So, yeah. to happen fast. And I like the action of it going bing. So yeah. I'm surprised by the meat element that leads into one of the main takeaways for this episode. So I'm going to bring us into it. Takeaway number one. Before we had microwaves, people tried to use slot toasters to make bacon. This was an entire product, an entire business. The Ready Whip company tried to use slot toasters to make bacon. This was an entire product, an entire business.

The Ready Whip company tried to roll out a slot toaster approach to bacon called Ready Bacon in the 1960s. Okay. That's interesting. Well, they don't exist anymore, right? So something went wrong? It did. Yeah, it didn't work out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So were there little tiny chutes? exists anymore right so something went wrong it did yeah it didn't work out uh yeah this was so were there like little tiny like shoots because i can't imagine like that big slot gate and putting like a strip of bacon in there i feel like it would get lost it just be on the bottom sad all wrinkled up yeah i'm gonna i'm dropping a picture in the chat right now and then we'll have it linked for people and this picture is from gastro obscura a piece by Rachel Rummel. She's the main source here. In 1964, the people who make Ready Whip rolled out a whole product called Ready Bacon. And it was a foil pouch lined with absorbent paper. absorbent paper. And so it's, it's almost like a pop tart still wrapped up, but it's four pieces of pre-cooked bacon. And the idea is you put that in a toaster slot, heat it for 90 seconds and then pop it back out. You have bacon in 90 seconds. That sounds like a good idea. Oh, I'm looking at it now. Huh?

High skepticism. I like it. That's good. But this was pre-microwave, so this was kind of like. Yeah. I feel like the precursor to the idea of cooking meat fast. Exactly. I don't know if I want fast cooked meat. I mean, I appreciate that it has at least that like aluminum foil.

So moving forward, you don't have like that grease or whatever. The remnants of meat when you cook other things and old meat. Right. If but but this was a thing of itself. Right. This was not used for toast. It was used specifically for bacon. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's the the product was called ready bacon where the the bacon was wrapped in foil. And I'm looking at this ad now and it says toaster to table. That's great alliteration, by the way. microwave oven like if folks remember right long ago microwave ovens episode we talked about how they only started to be common in homes in the 1970s microwaves so 1964 people were like 90 second meat this is revolutionary i can't believe it oh the jetsons yeah it's here that time is the future is now it's here just just inserting the meat into that robot maid they had like into her mouth right yeah but uh so yeah so they rolled this out people were

excited and then there was one flaw where they had to stop and here's rachel remmel writing about it quote the residual fat in ready bacon's pre-cooked strips proved problematic. Even the slightest tear in the packaging posed a threat as grease could drip down into the toaster, destroying it or starting a fire, end quote. It always explodes. I'm telling you. Always explodes. It's inevitable. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah, the unplugging impulse mujan that

actually is a good good move here like bacon stun out but yeah yeah exactly yeah so they yeah they rolled this out in 1964 and by 1965 they'd pulled the last of it off of store shelves in a panic this this product did not come back and pretty much other than bread and Pop-Tarts and things like Pop-Tarts, we don't really use slot toasters for anything else. Don't do it. Yeah, that's, you know, part of me is like a little disappointed. We've had so many years since then.

We've had, you know, 60-odd years since it was discontinued, 50-odd years. You'd think someone would do something else with the toaster that's beyond the toaster oven or an air fryer or like other foods you can just put into a slot machine a slot you know a slot machine yeah maybe our toasters can give us coins i mean right exactly i'm just saying this is an untapped market that's been forgotten due to what? Explosions? Sure. But we move on. We go beyond. Think about stuff.

That would be dope, though, if you toast the perfect pair of toasts and then your toaster is like, you win, you win, and coins come out. Yeah. That would be amazing. It's like proud of you. To have a toaster be proud of you and to reward you for your achievements. I mean, we're all going through a lot right now. And I think that would be a good product.

Listen, that is a victory when you get your toast just right. I agree. That is a victory because when you F it up, sometimes I throw it out if it's F'd up too badly. Because I'm like, no, I'm not eating this. No, I can't even scrape the charcoal off of it. I'm not going to do it. I'm going to start all over again. Yeah.

And you only have like a certain amount of time with that toast, too. Like you have to eat it within some odd, like less than an hour, right? Because then it just turns hard. Exactly. It's a delicate process and you need to be rewarded. Real talk. Yeah. You need to delicate process and you need to be rewarded. Yeah. Real talk. Yeah. You need to go toaster to table like that ad.

That's the way of it. We all know this. Yeah. Oh my God. Well, there's one other main takeaway for the episode for some more numbers. Here we go into takeaway number two. more numbers. Here we go into takeaway number two. Slot toasters became a common appliance thanks to one metallic alloy. I got curious about like, where did toasters come from in general? And it turns out the technological leap that made it all possible is a metallic alloy for

the part that heats up and is like against the bread in there that was the key thing they needed to invent before they could invent the rest of the machine who invented what is that called and it was a guy his name was albert l marsh he was an american metallurgist and in 1905 he came up with nichrome which is a combination of nickel and chromium mostly nickel so 1905 that's when we got like the key element that made the toaster a machine. Oh, so toasters were out in the early 1900s? Yeah, and it took off really fast. He patented this in 1906.

And then two years later, 1908, General Electric was selling multiple models of a toaster. Like this was an immediate, like people already loved toast, but they were making toast by like holding bread over a fire with a fork. Or there were like these metallic frame things that you could hold a piece of bread up to a fire with. But as soon as this machine came out, people said, oh my God, amazing. This is what I'm doing. Yeah. soon as this machine came out people said oh my god amazing this is what i'm doing yeah i would imagine especially at that time like gilded age like women would invite other women to be like a toaster party oh yeah show off the toasts that they have yeah there was i there was definitely

a step of history where people were like check out the best new appliance in the world it's some new technology we bought. It's really cool. And it was a toaster, was it? Yeah, I think that's awesome. And as far as the origin of toasters, main sources here are the Smithsonian Museum of American History, and then also Time Magazine and CNET. That alloy, nichrome, it's not like a famous alloy, but a lot of toasters are still made out of it to this day. And the reason it made toasters possible is it can be heated and cooled over and over and over again without breaking or without getting brittle.

It also glows a bright reddish color when it's heated. And so that was a nice bonus safety feature. Like you could just see whether the toaster was on or not. That just got turned into this appliance right away. He made it for that purpose and people figured it out. And by the end of the 1900s, first decade, people were buying toasters. It probably changed like the breakfast and dining experience for so many people. Yeah. And it was probably fun too for the kids to to look at you know because i remember yeah i'm dating my i'm old but i remember when microwaves became a thing and like being excited about

microwave popcorn because i remember making it on the stove so it's like oh microwave popcorn look at this you know we could get popcorn in three minutes. Wow. So that's probably that probably was the same reaction with the with toasters, I'm sure, back then. Exactly right. Yeah. And it and also the first toasters, I just dropped a picture in the chat and people can see them in the post to it. The very first ones were built very different than what we have today. There was no like big housing around it. So there was just sort of exposed coils and slots on a little base. And so you were also like seeing the toast get toasted in front of you, which I think is kind of cool.

I sort of want that experience one time, you know, just to see it. Yeah, I actually like that. Yeah. I think it's, I think they should bring bring that or maybe they have brought it back, but I, you get to kind of keep an eye on your toast. Cause sometimes, you know, it is, it's hard to toast sometimes, even if you put it on the four setting, I feel like as a toaster ages, the four becomes the five. Like it has its own method without telling you, but if you have it in front of you, you could see it reaching the level that you want it to.

And you could stop it. I'm getting the image of like an indoor campfire now with a toaster that's not. You're saying the toaster is not enclosed, right? It's just out there and on a base. Like you could reach and touch the filaments if you wanted to get burned or something they're just out there yeah you want to self-harm but you have the option you know right now we don't have that option give us the freedom you know uh so wait was there a reason why they had the house around it or this or the protection around it Probably for the people that were burning themselves.

Yeah, that's probably true. Yeah, I Googled a lot and couldn't find anyone to tell me that it was for safety and liability, but I'm sure that's why. Live to tell. It's just definitely people realized, oh, we could get sued. So let's put a chrome thing around it. And then people will idealize it. Yeah. That's true.

Human beings, yeah, 100%. If something is burning in front of us, we will put our finger in it. chrome thing around it and then people will idealize it yeah that's true human beings yeah 100 if something is burning in front of us we will put our finger in it that's what happens and uh and yeah and then that's the origin of toasters is this metal alloy wire cutter says most toasters still work this way there's also a cheaper alloy people use of chromium, iron, and aluminum, but it's more brittle, less good. It's just another cost-cutting thing companies are doing. That's probably what they're making all of them out of now. That's why we got to buy them every five years. Yeah. Apparently nickel is expensive. That's why. They don't want to spend the money on nickel. Sure. So now when I go to the store, I have to say,

is there nickel in the alloy component of this toaster? Do you think they'll know what I'm talking about? I hope they do. You can really flex on them, big time them. Like, I know my toasters, buddy. Then they'll kind of be like, oh, no, she knows. They'll sell you the one good one that they've been keeping in the back. How does she know?

How does she know? Who told her? They bring it out. It's like the one good one that they've been keeping in the back how does she know how does she know who told her they bring it out it's like the golden child it's like light over it and stuff we've been tricking them for years it's a it's a sunbeam toaster surrounded by literal sunbeams just blinding

arc of the covenant stuff in a good way right with like angels that kiss the bread when it comes out. So, you know what? This is inspiring me to want to open a toaster store now. Even though I don't own a toaster, I don't think I will do it again anytime soon. Unless I have like a massive counter space in my living quarter. But yeah, I think I should open a toaster store now.

Is it a place for people to toast or to buy toasters? Both. Both. I think it should be. I think they should test the product. Yes. Before they take it home. Yeah.

I don't understand why they don't do that with toasters. They do that with other products. I guess, I don't know, for the obvious sanitary reasons. It's like you're in Best Buy. All the TVs are playing a movie or sports or something to impress you. The toasters should be occasionally making toast just to impress you. Like, ooh, look at this. Yeah.

There should be a wall of bread and Pop-Tarts for us to test. Also, like, a customization color grid of, like, which one makes the best. Six. And seven. Or, yeah. Right. Yeah. Because also, I'm a lightly toasted toast person.

But I know people who want charcoal on it and I don't get it. But I'm sure like some stores I would go to, they'd be like, here's what everybody likes, the charcoal toast. And I'd be walking out and be like, no, you have misunderstood me. Also, I think we've been generalizing bread. I feel like maybe some different breads require a different toast process or toasting. That's true. Maybe a ciabatta is better at a mildly toasted, but a sourdough is probably better very toasted, you know?

Yeah, that's a good point. And then if you're dealing with rolls or croissants, those are way more dense than just a simple slice of bread. Yeah. I think you, at your toaster store, you need to have like a toast a bread connoisseur bread toast toasters i think it's man i'm also i'm angry this hasn't happened before yeah we have a lot of business ideas that are happening today what part of new york are you in i'm in the part that's a toaster store desert. I'll tell you that.

No toaster stores. I see. Yeah. There's no toaster stores. This feels like a Brooklyn situation. That's why I was asking. Yeah. I'm in the part that needs it.

There's definitely, I feel like in the past like year, a bunch of shops opened up for shades. And it's like, you don't need that many shops for shades for like window shades. Oh wow. There's like six different window shade shops that have opened up for shades and it's like you don't need that many shops for shades for like window shades oh wow there's like six different window shade shops that have opened up wow if that's happening we gotta have a toaster shop like come on might as well i was we did one trip up the hudson valley like the hudson river valley and we accidentally found a s'mores store and they did specialty s'mores and like the person got out a blowtorch and did it in front of you and they were square marshmallows so they sit more easily for architectural reasons it was very impressive i think i think we can just have those people open this they know what they're doing yeah

yeah and where was it like 20 for s'mores it was i think it was six or seven it was actually a lot really still like i still had my, you know, stuff. I wasn't in a barrel with straps at the end. Yeah. So you got square marshmallows and what else in it? And then I guess, so I got, it was around March. I got a shamrocks more was graham crackers, marshmallow, and then Andy's mints. And it was, it was amazing.

Actually, it was really good, but wow. That's how you do it. So this for toast. We need that. We need this level. Yes, for toast, yes. And we'll open it outside the Brooklyn Nets Stadium or something. I don't know where, but, you know, something.

We'll do it, yeah, right outside the Nets. It's in the Nets Stadium, actually, at Barclays Center. And, like, at every smorgasbord or whatever. And West Hollywood. Yes. it's a very west hollywood situation too and silver lake silver lake it's a very it would be hard though i think in la because it is a carb based thing so we should have other options besides toast other non-carb based products that could be toasted. Gluten free toast. Right? Gluten free toast? Yeah. Seed bread. The bread that's just made out of seeds.

That only birds should eat. Yes. Like medically too only birds should eat. It's just... Off of that we are going to a short break, followed by a whole new takeaway.

I'm Jesse Thorne. I just don't want to leave a mess. This week on Bullseye, Dan Aykroyd talks to me about the Blues Brothers, Ghostbusters, and his very detailed plans about how he'll spend his afterlife. I think I'm going to roam in a few places. Yes, I'm going to manifest and roam. All that and more on the next Bullseye from MaximumFun.org and NPR. MaximumFun.org and NPR. Hello, teachers and faculty.

This is Janet Varney. I'm here to remind you that listening to my podcast, The JV Club with Janet Varney, is part of the curriculum for the school year. Learning about the teenage years of such guests as Alison Brie, Vicki Peterson, John Hodgman, and so many more is a valuable and enriching experience, one you have no choice but to embrace, because yes, listening is mandatory. The JV Club with Janet Varney is available every Thursday on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts. Thank you.

And remember, no running in the halls. There's also, there's an element of toasters with sliced bread, which is that I think I had always assumed we got toasters after sliced bread, but it turns out we got toasters before. And because these toasters start rolling out around 1908 1909 and according to time magazine the first mass marketed pre-sliced bread was 1928 so it was a few decades after the invention of toasters that like a pre-sliced bread was available to people so lots of the first toaster users were you know using a bread knife cutting their own bread aiming for the right dimensions for this new technology they got they were eating that last supper bread it was cut that way that makes me rugged surface

that makes me wonder like who, which dimension came first? Were we, were we cutting the bread and then they made the dimensions of the toaster based on what people were doing? Or did that affect what people were doing afterwards? That's a good question. Yeah, I'll bet they kind of started to match up. Yeah, toasters were definitely popular in homes when the first sliced bread came around. And it took until the 1930s for sliced bread to be really popular apparently wonder cut bread was one of the first hit brands now we just know it

as wonder bread but there was this like slow progression toward americans thinking oh yeah like a loaf of bread that's already fully sliced that's normal and in the meantime they already had a toaster possibly with no protection around it just sitting on their table. Yeah, that's awesome. But yeah, a very strange thing. And I was also curious, I know toasters as a trope as a wedding gift. It's a very common, especially in the past, like, oh, people are getting married. Here's a toaster.

And it seems like one reason is that it was new technology in the early 20th century. Another reason is that toasters were less disposable then. Like you would give somebody a toaster and they'd use it forever. But the last reason is that couples in the 20th century were often like starting their household after they got married. And today a lot of couples like already have the kitchen basics when they're getting married. Yeah. I don't think I have any of the registries I've given money to for my friends. It's all changed.

It's not just like give us money for a honeymoon. It's not. Or like something very expensive or crazy. Like while we have your attention. That's funny. Yeah, but no toasters. Yeah. Is there any way you could go halfsies on those like really

expensive items on people's registries i always thought about that it's like i don't want to buy this chandelier for you guys but i'll put in i don't know 10 right and the rest of you guys at the rest there should be that's a good idea i agree i always end up getting like a pan right a dish towel a dish towel that's supposed to come in like a pack of seven and i just get like the one so i'm like guys i spent so much money coming here by myself come on yeah that i our registry i think will just be please contribute to a honeymoon yeah because we already have our i'm getting married in october and we already have a place we already have the toaster oven we're all set yeah but can your toaster oven be improved oh wait so do you guys

live together already yeah we do yeah so we already have a kitchen. Like we're all set up. Okay. Because, you know, some couples, it's like they don't live together and then they have two of everything. And then the person with the craziest stuff, they have to throw that out. It was really just the headline mentioned toasters, but there was an NPR story about Goodwill. And they said that Goodwill receives like so many broken appliances that

they actually had pretty intense trash bills every year. And they're asking people to like, like, please don't give us fully broken toasters and other appliances like that. Or like the junk if the couple is deciding which stuff is better, because then they end up spending a lot of money, like getting rid of it. Whole issue. Why don't they just take the toasters apart and build a new toaster with yeah the parts that work isn't that what they do with like car junkyards they should have like a toaster junkyard yeah yeah an appliance junkyard appliance junkyard yeah and just build build another one half Half sun bean, half Cuisinart. Blender. Cyborg toaster.

And it's a Roomba and it goes room to room. I am alive now. Help. But it just keeps having to bake toast. Well, those are the main takeaways for the main episode there's just a few numbers before we wrap it up and the next number is also about bread still it is 49 days and 49 days is how long the u.s government banned pre-sliced bread in world war ii yep there was a brief like month and a half where the government would fine you very heavily

if you as a bakery or whatever produced bread loaves that were pre-sliced. Why? Is excess considered excess labor or materials? Yeah, it was January 1943. They thought that bakeries could save money by skipping the slicing and then keep bread prices lower. And they also knew that there's a true thing where a sliced loaf needs more packaging around it because it'll go stale faster. And so at that time, it took twice as much wax paper to wrap up a sliced loaf. And they were trying to, like, conserve the nation's wax paper to wrap up a sliced loaf. And they were trying to like conserve the nation's wax paper. So that was why they did this in World War II.

Oh, wow. When you said 49, I thought you were going to say 49 days before bread goes stale. And I'm like. I thought that too. I thought that too. I saw you make a face and I'm like, what's in that bread to make it stay that long?

I don't want to eat that. Or is it where like it goes through a process? Like we always throw it away when it gets stale or smells, but we should let it actually stay out because then it goes back to its original form. Right. And we've been throwing it out too soon. I'm curious. we get out too soon yeah are you guys i'm curious are you guys like a let your bread stay out or put your bread in the refrigerator immediately i keep it out a little bit i don't know why i think it's just to enjoy those first few days of it being real fresh yeah yeah and then i put in

the refrigerator because i feel like the refrigerator kind of alters the the taste yeah even when you toast it i don't know something different yeah i i'm i'm like mujan with the habit of it and also there i found out there's a bread company here on the east coast called schmidt old time baking and my last name's schmidt so i was very excited and then i like looked them up on social media and the very first post was a meme about how you should not put your bread in the refrigerator. And I felt very attacked by Schmidt bread. I was like, hey, I'm one of you. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That. But they said like, oh, it makes the bread like less tasty and less fresh feeling if you make it cold and refrigerated all the time. cold and refrigerated all the time. There's this comedian out here named Chase Bernstein and she has this joke where she says she judges people by whether they keep their bread in the freezer or the refrigerator. Because you know how some people

freeze bread? Because it'll... Yeah. I'm probably not doing her joke justice, but it's a really funny bread joke. I think I've frozen bread when I'm like oh i'm gonna be on vacation and i accidentally bought bread right when you have too much yeah which i found that when you do freeze it it's mandatory to toast it because yes if you thaw bread out like that, you just have mush. Yeah.

And this is a true test going back to, yeah, the toaster. It has to be a good toaster. You can't have a sh** toaster that only half-thaws it. And you have to remember to press that thaw button. I don't know what it does, but I press that button. Does that thaw button do anything? Is it like extra heat? I don't think I've had one with that.

Unthaw. A defrost button. A defrost button. I've never seen a defrost button on a toaster. Really? Some toasters have a defrost button. What do you have? A Cuisinart? No, mine's... I don't even know what the name is. If you have a sunbeam, you have to tell us. You have to admit it. No, no, no. She's holding out on us, man.

She has like a Rolls Royce of toasters. Yeah, it's a $25 toaster. $2,500. Yes, yes, yes. And I like to unplug it and hide it whenever I leave. Wow. Yeah, and so this ban on sliced bread,

U.S. government attempts this January 1943. It's very unpopular right away. Lots of bakeries and businesses violate it. And then they rescind the order by March of 1943. So there was just this brief window where there was a weird block on slicing bread like people had gotten used to. And also Lapham's Quarterly says it was pretty hard to buy a new electric toaster during World War II just because so much war production was happening. And so that was actually an appliance that was like hard to get new for a few years. That makes sense. Yeah, it's the war. It's what it is. It's the war. It happens. You

ration. It is interesting because it made me think like maybe, you know, if one of the reasons is to preserve, although bread is so cheap to make in most cases, it's the thing that you should be giving out more of. But I guess you want to, but it's more about like the material that you're shaving, that you put the sliced bread in, right? For packaging, yeah. Yeah. But if I get like a loaf of bread, I wouldn't know how many people it's for because I'd be like, oh, this is one serving. As opposed to when you get sliced bread, you like even it out. people it's for because I'd be like, oh, this is one serving as opposed to when you get sliced bread, you even it out.

It tells you how much to eat. Right. You know where you're at. Why were they so hell-bent on conserving wax paper? Is that how they made bullets? Right. The wax.

Is it the same materials that you make? Just try to figure it out. Well, the next number here is a modern thing. This is 15 feet. That's also 4.57 meters for people on that. But 15 feet is the Guinness World Record for the highest popping toaster. Whoa. That's the highest a toaster has ever fired the bread up into the air.

Intentionally. Yeah, on purpose. Yeah. That's a good question. Okay. Before or after it set on fire. Okay. Was the toaster itself like a normal average height toaster, like a regular toaster?

No. So yeah, this was someone who just wanted to break the Guinness World Record. This was a 14-year-old in Texas named Matthew Lucci, and he built a toaster that was powered by a 12,000 RPM motor. motor and apparently he did this because he saw the existing record in the guinness book of world records and wanted to beat it so it's just this kid wanted to like build an even more powerful toaster for fun i was just getting this image of like toaster hydraulics like those bouncing cars in the snoop dog videos you know with the hydraulics or cannonball toaster and the toast is on fire like Mujan was saying yeah it's on fire thank you that's crazy

what is this a game this isn't a game this is toast I don't play with my toast this is not a game do not play with my toast. I'm like tempted to look up that kid to see what happened to him. Like what field he went into. Did he use that power for good? He probably works for Elon.

Yeah. And not like a good department either, like a bad department. Yeah, and the bad department. His employee badge just says like bad department like it's just fully baked into the work and then very last number here this is sort of a similar situation this is the year 2009 and 2009 is when an industrial designer created a joke prototype for a trebuchet toaster. And if people don't know, a trebuchet is sort of like a catapult. It's a medieval sea gentian. And so this, just as a prototype, they built,

it's a one-slot toaster where it's resting at an angle. And so the idea is you, like, catapult the piece of toast with force onto your plates kind of across the way. I'm so lost. Yeah. Also, just so much work to be lazy, like to create that. The purpose of it, right, is just to catapult your bread? Yeah, and I just dropped a picture in the chat.

Oh, okay. This seems to have been like a satire of industry and consumerism. It was sort of a whole art project, too. But yeah, you're sort of in an arcing angle, sort of like an Angry Birds attack or something. Like you're launching the toast to another point. Got it. I mean, that's cool. I get it.

But also, you know, your plate has to be a specific angle. A lot of constraints there. But it is is just more games it's just more games with my toast man i don't i don't i don't want to play i just want the bread lightly toasted with a little bit of butter melted after i don't need all these theatrics and acrobatic yeah moments well i'm trying to make a piece of tones no unless of course it gives you points if it gives us points if the coins are coming out that's another ball game but this right here i don't i don't have time for this now i'm looking at these toasters

where they can imprint um like there's a bob ross toaster and you can and it's a slot toaster and you can get an imprint of his face on your toast oh that's pretty cool yeah apparently some of those use lasers like most of these are just nichrome heating the toast, but some of those it's like a laser etching print to put those things on. Something to give us cancer. Maybe. Is that what you're telling us, Allie? I found a toaster that is a toaster that also has a egg cooker attached to it so you can toast your toast

and also in four minutes have a complete meal interesting oh also there's a porsche designed toaster oh like the car company wow yeah they created a toaster i i feel like eventually we're reaching the joke we were making about like it has hydraulics and it's like we just want toasters to be more than the thing they are. And good for us. Great. Now, this really further makes me feel like a toaster store needs to happen. Yeah. Somebody needs to do it.

Yeah. Yeah. Can we get you on a plane? Flight of Brooklyn? It's not an airport right here. It needs to be us three, man. Us three. Yep. There's not an airport right here. It needs to be us three, man. Us three. Yep.

That's it. When it pops up, you know it's going to be because of your podcast, Alex. When it pops up. That's right. Yeah. That's a good name. When it pops up. When it pops up.

Yeah. Wow. Listen, y'all. This feels meant to be folks that is the main episode for this week my thanks to kimberly clark and mujan zolfagari for making this one awesome man i i don't feel like we just pressed down the metaphorical toaster lever. I feel like we fired up the entire oven for this one. You know what I mean? Because that is, it turns out a way you can make toast.

Very exciting. Anyway, I said that's the main episode because there is more secretly incredibly fascinating stuff available to you right now. incredibly fascinating stuff available to you right now. E if you support this show on Patreon.com. Patrons get a bonus show every week where we explore one obviously incredibly fascinating story related to the main episode. This week's bonus topic is a couple of toasters from fantastical universes. Supernatural powers and so on. Very fun.

Visit SIFpod.fun for that bonus show, for a library of 99 other bonus shows, because this is also the 100th bonus show. Pretty cool. And if you join up, you can back this entire podcast operation. And thank you for exploring toasters with us. Here's one more run through the big takeaways. Takeaway number one, before we had microwaves, people tried to use slot toasters to make bacon. Takeaway number two, slot toasters became a common appliance thanks to one metallic alloy. There's also a ton of numbers before and after those takeaways. There's more bread stuff, there's the fallibility of modern toasters,

there's powerfully popping toasters, and more. Those are the takeaways. Also, please follow my guests. They're great. Mujan Zulfagari is one of the creators and performers of a wonderful comedy podcast called Mission to Zyx. And I know this is audio. Zyx is spelled Z-Y-X-X. Mission to Z-Y-X-X. You can find that at mission to Z-Y-X-X dot space. That is their website. It's a domain extension after my heart. Dot space. You can also catch Mujan on the animated comedy show Tuning Out the News. That was on Paramount Plus.

Moving to Comedy Central. And then Kimberly Clark is a wonderful stand-up comedian all over. I highly, highly recommend her new special on Netflix. It's season two, episode four of Tiffany Haddish Presents They Ready. So you get Tiffany Haddish, you get a bunch of other comedians, and you get this wonderful new special from Kimberly Clark. Many research sources this week. Here are some key ones. A few amazing pages and online resources from the Smithsonian National Museum of American History. In particular, some uploads and resources about a GE

toaster that's in their collection. It's from the year 1909. Also leaned on a piece for Gastro Obscura by Rachel Rummel, and more reporting from CNET, Wirecutter, Consumer Reports, Time Magazine, The Atlantic. Find those and many more sources in this episode's links at sifpod.fun. And beyond all of that, our theme music is Unbroken Unshaven by the Budos Band. Our show logo is by artist Burton Durand. Special thanks to Chris Souza for audio mastering on this episode and for just hitting the century mark with me. Thank you, Chris. Extra, extra special thanks go to our patrons. I hope you love this week's bonus show. And thank you to all our listeners. our patrons. I hope you love this week's bonus show. And thank you to all our listeners. I know I say that every week, but truly, truly, I feel such gratitude to be taping the final words of episode 100 right now, because I know I get to keep on taping episode 101. I am thrilled to say

we will be back next week with more secretly incredibly fascinating. So how about that? Talk to you then.