Seeking Derangements - Attention Seekers pt. 3

Episode Date: July 3, 2025

This is the first hour of the episode, to hear the second hour subscribe to our Patreon! Ben here, today I'm bringing you the third session of Attention Seekers, our LIVE call in show straight from the studio at Acadiana Public Access! No video for this one, just the sweet sounds of our voices and your calls. Yes I monologue for like 15 minutes about Lauren Sanchez but don't worry, Jacques joins me at around 15 minutes. Hesse is back with a special bonus for Seeking Sunday and then we'll all be back together next week!

I get lonely when you're not around And I wish that you were here with me So you can love me down Yeah You know I love your company But my mama don't want you hanging with me So how do you get a place where we can hang? I'm gonna be your telephone thing

So hang on While we get freaky While we get freaky on the tone Go a little dirty, get it on That's right Now let me hear you moan So let me hear you moan While we get freaky

While we get freaky on the tone Get it on, get it on Hello, attention seekers. Hello, Seeking Nation. It's Ben here. Jock is going to be in in just a minute. He's getting some old files from our previous recordings. You're seeing us in black and white today. Real Authentico style. Yes, fuck is real. Parker's predilections.

You are correct. What's up, Jock? Jock's in the room. Did it work? We'll figure it out after. Hello, everyone. Welcome. Welcome.

As you join. We're getting some files. You want to come on we're live okay jock is jock's gonna be here in a second okay um what's going on everyone if you want to call in the phone lines are open it's 337-366-8950 let's talk about some stuff that happened this past week. Lauren Sanchez and Jeff Bezos got married. People are making fun of her, which I feel like is warranted because she is marrying an evil man.

I did think her dress was pretty iconic. Not the wedding dress, the one she wore at the Dolce & Gabbana. I think it's when they exchanged their vows. And she's wearing this like curtain top like structured band above her boobs. And then like a cinched corset. I really love her. I do think their wedding is incredibly corny.

It's something that happens with people when they get that much money. They just become... They try to play by the rule books, I think, of very astute, smart-dressing women like Michelle Obama or Jackie Kennedy. But Lauren Sanchez is not that woman. She's a Miami bimbo. And she looks great when she dresses like a hoochie mama. and she looks great when she dresses like a hoochie mama like when she went to the inauguration and was wearing that like see-through like bralette that was all lace like that looked amazing and that was her style but now i feel like she's trying to be more classy because she's

marrying like you know the most powerful man in the world and i'm like just be a hooker you know be a hoe hoe it up because that's kind of the new classy um but if you guys want to call in talk about lauren sanchez jeff bezos's wedding um we had a caller yesterday who had a co-worker who was there because he and jeff were friends in college for the, I would go to the wedding in a second. One thousand percent. I wouldn't boycott it. If I was in Venice, just as Felicia, I would, yeah, be like floating Jeff Business's like

paper mache head around the canals, which is what they were doing, which is pretty sick. But, you know blessings to them on their new life she has a really sexy son who's a model have you seen him he's really hot he's really hot i have some mutual friends with him but he's not gay and then she has a daughter too but her instagram is iconic she has all of these like latina quotes that are like if you can't handle me at my best you don't deserve me at my worst and it's like an image of like a helicopter in the background because she's also a helicopter pilot which maybe we can make the

prediction now that they'll die in a helicopter crash because thank god for helicopters they're really taking out a lot of the enemy not the not the baseball player that died that was sad he didn't really do anything bad but i feel like helicopters are really on our side let's see what the chat's saying i'm not sure she is that hot she is hot come on she's hot in like a bimbo like slut way she's not elegant she's like campy but there's a lot of sexiness in that in my opinion and clearly jeff believes the same he looks crazy he has like so much lip filler and is bald like most evil men are but he doesn't look good but she secured it she got picked helicopter gang yes of course so if everything is a code

who makes the key what are you talking about one of our schizophrenic listeners is in the chat the whole wedding was ghetto the wedding was ghetto it's because wealthy people don't know how to spend their money anymore you know they just want to do like the most i saw that her wedding carpet like on the the bride runway or whatever it was like millennial gray which is so sad because you know she's not a millennial gray girl but she has to be because i think that's what she thinks this role demands of her but i'm like you need to have like a hot pink runway carpet and like have your tits like out like up to your neck and like wear like you know such a miami like thong and bralette to your wedding because that's what she wants to be wearing she is hot in a jigsaw latina kind of way she is i mean forever i've been saying plastic surgery is trending towards jigsaw jigsawfication i said this years ago about laura lumer and just the buccal fat removal in

general was making everyone look like jigsaw and she does have jigsawfication for sure but the lips are so big and she has she is of course latina is she cuban she better not be cuban it would make sense if she is she can't be mexican let's if you think if you think lauren sanchez is mexican call call 337-366-8950 um and let's let's investigate this host ethnicity i think she might be... Cuban would make sense, because it's like right-wing southern Florida. But I could see her being...

I guess I could see her being Mexican. She's definitely not Central American. Let me see here. All right, we got our first call. Hello, hello, hello. You're on the air with Just Ben today. Jock is... I don't know what he's doing.

It's me. I'm checking it. Oh, what's up, bro? I'm making sure you're getting calls. We're getting calls. Oh, my God. Lauren Sanchez is Mexican. Fuck my life.

She's Mexican-American. Being a third-generation Latina of Mexican-American parents, she was born and raised in Albuquerque. Whoa. That is crazy. Let's look at this host's Wikipedia. Former journalist and wife of the Amazon founder Jeff Bezos. She's a licensed pilot, of course,

and founder of Black Ops Aviation. She has been a guest host on The View. Oh, yeah, she was a guest house on the view but they got anna navarro to be their right-wing latina who is insane she once tweeted it was new year's eve she once tweeted i have friends in nicaragua who will deal with you something like that so she's like threatening someone and new year's eve i'm like there's probably some hostess at a like a restaurant who didn't give her a table and she's like i have friends in nicaragua who will deal with you

insane behavior but no this ho is mexican on the view she was an anchor and correspondent on extra whatever the hell that is regular contributions on show like larry king, Joy Behar Show, Showbiz Tonight. She debuted a... This is the most rich white wife behavior of all time. She debuted a children's book, The Fly Who Flew to Space, which became a New York Times bestseller. I feel like with the amount of children's

books out there it's absolutely like a money laundering scheme or something because they all have children's books oh look jock's ready jocks jocks here now well welcome to work diva um she was gail king yeah what's, y'all? You ready? Jock is here. Jock's always been ready. Look at that. Welcome, Jock. Sit your ass down and speak into your damn mic,

dumbass. And yeah, we are in black and white today. We're old-timey. I'm giving Betty boop more than i ever have before he's giving betty dub boop right should we zoom in a little bit we're good it's the best we can do right now in this room yeah should i um jock what's going on you know i am having a little trouble getting those files from yesterday whoopsie well you know what guys you might

only be seeing this on live they They might not ever get posted. We're getting it. But Jocko was talking about Lauren Sanchez and Jeff Bezos' wedding. Did you see? Do you know who that is? Yes, I know about the Venetian protest. I had to hold it down for about 10 minutes talking on my own. You couldn't just answer the no one call?

Do you want to give your opinions on the topic? Rich, bald, beautiful woman. Well, she's not bald. Well, she's not bald. Venice. She's not bald. Rich bald him. Rich bald him.

Beautiful woman her. She is beautiful. People are contesting that. But I think she's pretty. In like a sexy, like, whore, like, sex doll way. But I do think she's a beautiful woman. And she has a really sexy son. Sexy whore.

Sexy whore. Absolutely. Don't. Can you just not? Can you just not can you can you do the show can you do yeah but i asked one thing to and so i just can't why don't you get no respect jock is mad that i'm doing a zen because i told him not to i was like can you just it's not on the table which is what you asked can we can we do the show, please? I'm doing the show. Okay. You asked my opinion on something. You people, it's like he asked me what my question, my theory on something is, and then he's like, oh, don't say it. Don't.

No, I asked you about the wedding. I didn't ask you to yell at me for doing it. Okay, well, I guess I'll just continue. Lauren Sanchez, yes, she is mexican which was shocking to me because i do think she should be cuban but she was in people's magazine she's a helicopter pilot um philanthropic she's a philanthropic philanthropist that's how big just a philanthropist right y'all are are you going to call? Well, we can.

Oh, hello, hello, hello. You're on the air with Ben and Jock. How's it going today? Hello, can you hear me all right? I'm in a car. We can hear you. What's up? We can hear you in a car. First of all, I'm from the Twin Cities.

We love St. Paul. Hi, Jock. I live right by the Trader Joe's that didn't hire you. God, the one with the really steep hill? Yep. Why didn't they hire you at Trader Joe's? They never gave me a reason. I was like 22.

No, they told me that I didn't get the job. Right. What do you want to talk about today? What's your name? My name's Theo. I was just going to relay my near-death experience from the morning. Whoa, what happened? I worked like a crazy old man doing something very dumb

while hauling a trailer and generators. Okay. One of the generators crashed out on me this morning i loaded in the trailer i don't think anything of it and then as i was leaving where i was working i like pulled into a church parking lot because i got i don't know i just had to do it something wasn't right and it was the generator was like hissing gas just all over. And I tried to like take it apart but I don't know anything about generators. Did it explode?

No, but I like literally everything else in the trailer like should explode. Like we used car batteries to weigh things down. It's not a good setup. And I've been electrocuted twice at this job. Wait, what is this job I've been electrocuted twice at this job. Wait, what is this job?

I get electrocuted like twice a week. Is this just hauling around? No, we time road racing. Like charity five days. Oh, I see, I see. Interesting. Anyway, I texted my boss and his response, because something else got around that day.

He just said, oh, just everything's going around today, isn't it? And nothing else. Honestly, you should let one of those blow up and sue him for a bunch of money. Well, I mean, yeah. You should have crashed into a firework stand. Right. I should have crashed into a firework stand. Right. I'm pretty much driving a firework stand. Those blow up all.

I had to run to the gas station to buy an extra gas tank to try to pour it into and a funnel. And the gas attendant was the highest I've ever seen someone off meth in my life. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're famous for that, especially in the Midwest. That's how I do. Yeah. I have a Midwest question for you.

I have a Midwest question for you, caller. I saw this, and I've seen this, like, this... They're called curds. They're just, like, white pieces of cheese.

No, I'm aware. This study that... It makes the rounds every so often on, like, Twitter and Instagram about drinking rates throughout the country and of course the amounts of drinks people consume daily higher across the midwest but almost like to the border the counties in wisconsin are the heaviest drinkers

in the country by far and i was trying to figure out why this might be and it's all self-reported data and i was like okay i think maybe people in wisconsin think it's like illegal to lie or something because they're like so catholic or maybe the drinking culture there is just there's not as much shame and so they can be honest about it but i don't know do you have any any theories as to why w Wisconsinites are drinking this much? It's scary. I know they were brandy. Yeah.

You guys think about... He's cutting out. You're cutting out. Look, you're cutting out right now, sir. I think he might be getting blown up. Midwestern mambo. He might be getting blown up in that truck of his. You're blown up think he might be getting blown up. Midwestern Mambo. He might be getting blown up in that truck of his. You're blown up.

You've just been blown up. Wake up. Maybe call us back when you have a better connection. I'm sorry. We love you, though. We love you. Good luck. Don't get blown up at work today. Black Hawk down, Diva. Guys, if you're about to get blown up at work today, you can call us at 337-366-8950. That's 337-366-8950. That's 337-366-8950.

Call in right now to talk to us. Me, Jacques, him, Ben. Anything else going on in the news you want to talk about, Jacques? Yeah. What do you think, Ben? I was thinking about how if I had friends, I wouldn't pee in front of their yard. Today, my friend peed in my yard. It wasn't me, everyone. Well, Ben encouraged him to do it,

so he's just as guilty. You told him your toilet was broken. And then I followed it up immediately with, haha, I'm joking. I don't think he knew you were joking on that phone call. Did you break your toilet? No, I said I was joking immediately after. Well, I think maybe it's just so likely that

your toilet would be broken that it doesn't seem like that's a joke to anyone this guy is trying to offend me he always comes to iowa to offend me not in iowa not in iowa from iowa you should come to iowa i'll get this one okay hello welcome to the program hello Hello, hello. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. What's your name? I'm Jock. Love you, Ben. Where are you calling from? I'm Lynn. I am from Amherst. Originally from Oklahoma, though,

and Jock has had some fighting words for people from Oklahoma in the past, so I'm not sure how he'll feel about that. Where in Oklahoma? On the Arkansas border. Iansas border middle of nowhere what has jock said about oklahomans i've also said some pretty terrible things about oklahomans well brahms brahms is severely overrated even though it has the charm it's just like is this really what y'all want to die on the cross for? But let me hear you. I agree. I fully agree. It's nasty.

The burgers are nasty. What has Jock said about Oklahoma vets offended you? I don't know. I think he called us dark-sided and huge drinkers. But also, I have left the state. I live in Massachusetts now. So I agree that it is dark-sided and evil and well i was commenting i was in at the airport at houston i think and i was watching all these

people arrive at the gate next to ours from oklahoma and every one of them looked like they were straight off of a mutant cattle cart. It was so fucking scary. Agree. Totally agree. They looked like bovine's DNA mixed with human DNA to make some kind of twisted creatures that were half human, half bovine cow. It is a weird state. Is there anything you wanted to talk about? But you seem educated.

Tell us about how you escaped from that lifestyle. Oh, thank you so much um i uh am with someone from massachusetts and i caught a ride back with them back to um western mass but i did have a question i wanted to ask do you guys have a top four letterbox like what are your top four movies oh i'm curious so nowhere 1997 is my all-time favorite movie probably followed by moonstruck with the share nicholas cage movie and then i would say the next contender would probably be hasu um oh hell yeah The Japanese surreal horror schoolgirl movie. And then... I love that one.

Finally, I'm going to say Showgirls. Showgirls is great. I love Showgirls. Is that four or five? I don't know. That's four. You got it. Maybe Honorable Mention.

That's a really good pop four. Honorable Mention, I would throw in Bridget Jones' Diary. Right. Escape from New York. Fuck yeah. Escape from New York Fuck yeah Escape from LA You know you're just gonna have all the snake Movies I think I would do Cure by Japanese director

Kurosawa I think that's how you say it I love that movie so much it's so good I recently rewatched The Scary Movie franchise Oh so good It's like so funny like i forgot it's hysterical no especially like scary movie one it's like 30 rock levels of jokes and like truly it's really really good i really recommend re-watching the scary movie franchises

it kind of scary movie four gets super funny three isn't that good but like four is hysterical it's also only like an hour long is three the one where she goes toshiba benihana um sashimi i think that's one i think that's one that's definitely the second or the second i don't know well two has uh cindy this is bone yes skeleton yes yeah okay also when when um when she fights samara yes yeah you're getting water on my floor and then she like rouched like uh whatever you call that there's a girl coming out the tv yes um and then maybe i really like michaelaneke. This is, like, the most, like, film pro. Oh, nice. But I really like Michael Haneke's movies.

See, I was curious about you, Ben. You don't really often talk about your film taste. So this is interesting. I like it. It's surprising he has taste. It's such a... Thank you, Jock. I am such a sucker for the, like, A24, like, social horrors which is yeah i don't like admitting because it's like

it seems to be like the entire movie market right now and it's becoming really like normified but i do love um all those movies i did really like like get out um i recently saw what was it a24 i prefer the b52s-52s, personally. Right. I saw that part. I saw that A24 horror movie with... Is it Hugh Grant? Oh, a heretic? Yes, and he traps two

Mormon girls in his house and makes them look at some monster he thinks is God. I didn't think it was good, but I didn't think it was really funny. I really wanted to see the new- Are you excited about Eddington? The new Ari Aster? I am so excited.

Hessa went to the premiere. I am so excited about Eddington. I really want to see it. The trailer looks crazy. Hessa went to the premiere and Ari Aster said he listens to Chapo and he heard Seeking on Chapo. We did get a plug to Ari Aster for the show.

We'll see if he listens. Oh, wow. So that was kind of scary. Touching the high society. I find Ari Aster's movies to be frightening, terrifying, goobling, gobbling. You should see his movie, What Happened to the Johnsons. We're getting another call right now. Thank you so much for joining us today.

Love you, baby. Thank you. Hello, you're on the air with Ben and John. Hi, Henny. Oh, no way. How's it going? Great. Where are you calling from. How's it going? Great. Where are you calling from?

What's your name and what's your preferred position? Beautiful California, San Diego. Let's go, San Diego. I am he, him, Hunter, and straight-ish, mostly. Straight-ish. I feel like we've been getting so many. We got a missionary man on our hands. What's going on?

We've been getting so many calls from straight guys. We're always surprised that this many straight guys listen to the show. But it makes sense because they are kind of the most popular. There's more of them than anyone else. I've noticed that listening. My brother actually turned me on to your guys' show. And as far as I'm aware, he's also straight. But you never know with those kinds of things.

You can never tell anymore. What did you want to talk about today? You want to roast your brother? You want to roast your brother? Shout out Ben. I used to live in Sioux City, Iowa. All your references about Iowa are completely on point. It's hilarious. It's completely poisonous.

I moved back there because I have some family stuff going on. I can't imagine that I'll live there for much longer. The soil is full of nitrates. It's giving everyone crazy types of cancers. I'll live there for much longer. But the soil is full of nitrates. It's giving everyone crazy types of cancers. It's crazy. This guy probably drinks natural wine if he's scared of nitrates.

He probably can't even handle a little bit of jerky. The thing is, I do drink and, yeah, I do drugs. I'm fine with getting cancer from any of those things because I'm at least getting some fulfillment and fun and pleasure out of it. But if I'm getting cancer from water, like, are you fucking kidding me? No, yeah, that's bullshit. So I go to Whole Foods and get their reverse osmosis,

alkaline, remineralized water, what's that fucking? I'm just gonna pee. Go pee. I heard you discuss that on an episode. I thought Whole Foods didn't exist in the midwest but i haven't been there yeah they have one they have one in west des moines um okay but yeah like city but we didn't have anything like that yeah yeah we had any fresh produce no it's crazy i mean des moines is at least like big enough that you can get like some good food but the restaurants are right completely mid um no

well that was the other thing real quick i remember you were mentioning seafood i thought i was crazy but i was like there's no fucking way i'm gonna eat no food this far from the ocean it's ridiculous insane yeah yeah it's and then all they have is like burgers and shit so it's kind of tricky yeah i mean one nice thing about the food there is that you can get really nice um like meat you can get really nice meat. You can get good steaks. Right. Some of the best prosciutto in the United States comes from a prosciuttoree in Iowa.

Oh, no way. Yeah, it's mostly... So we have prosciutto and corn. Yeah, it's mostly garbage. And all of the fucking farmland that's poisoning everyone is for it's to grow crops to feed animals it is just like yeah i mean not to be like such an npr lib about it but people do need to stop eating meat because it is like poisoning the earth and poisoning the people but oh you can smell the factories nothing good can be happening oh yeah they're also like

crazy exploitative to their laborers as well it's like so many people are getting their like arms cut off and these meat processing plants. It's horrible. But you're in San Diego now. That was a big issue. I listened to a podcast about that recently. Yeah, it's crazy. I had a question for Jacques, but I guess he's using the bathroom. I can answer it for him.

I'll do the impression of Jacques. Yeah, you know him pretty well. Yeah, he's not really even here today, but what was your question? That's funny. Well, I guess basically it's... i like to drink and i like to socialize but i've been kind of as i get older the hangovers get worse absolutely so i'm trying to lean on it less as a crutch to like you know go out and like flirt like meet people right and i see jock is super outgoing he's really you know i'd say charismatic yeah he's very charismatic he's back he's back yeah thank you so much i love you of course well i was just wondering how was that like a rough trend like

getting out of drinking was it like a weird transition or was it kind of natural for you or did you not really need it in the first place so like the preface of me almost quit or like sort of low-key quitting drinking was that I got prescribed an anxiety medicine. So that obviously made it a lot easier to transition out of drinking to curb my anxiety. Not that I'm encouraging. That's maybe not the best route. Now I'll probably have to be prescribed Klonop until the grave until I get dementia. I mean, not diabetes.

You already have that. i don't have it but um it what i so i first got prescribed the anxiety medicine and then i would not drink because i was too scared to mix the anxiety medicine and the alcohol but for maybe a year or two i chose times to drink like i would purposely stop taking the medicine and then i would drink the last time i drank i had 14 draft beers um three bottles of wine three glasses of wine two singles and uh two seltzer cans so it just there's no discrimination on sticking to the one type it's it's anything yeah okay i i but i'll tell you this i quit six years ago and i had no i never drank a like a alcohol again and i think it's pretty easy you just get the non-alcoholic i would recommend to you if you want to go out and continue to drink, but just drink less. I mean, I have the problem.

You should drink more. If I'm out, like I will always have a drink in my hand. I drink really fast. Me too. It's the thing. I drink. If I have it in my hand, I think I'm anxious, so I sip too much. Right.

And the next thing, before I can even like have fun, I'm like, ah, I'm drunk. I should probably just go home. Right. I would recommend doing, I mean, it's kind of like a crazy ask of a bartender, but I like doing a Campari soda. And I just be like, can I have it in like your biggest glass, which is usually like a wine glass, because then it's like a spritz. And Campari is like really low alcohol volume. And then you're mostly drinking like an entire can. How much weed are you smoking?

Then you're mostly drinking like an entire can of seltzer on top of it. So that will really slow you down. And you can, I've had like 12 of them in a night. No hangover. Don't even get that drunk. And I'm still able to spend $120 at a bar. I'm jealous of your no hangover. I get to be able to scream in the shower or eat a pomegranate.

I'm telling you, screaming in the shower is an amazing cure for a hangover. My roommate would probably have a heart attack. Pretend you're in a movie and you just found out your husband died and just lay on the floor and scream. Here's your hangover cure is that you should drink a full bottle of Pedialyte. Then you drink three raw eggs whisked together that's like $30 worth of eggs now in California

well that's what you get for living in California you fucking degenerate now we're reaching the insult portion of it I'm used to insulting Ben there's just a lot of people in my firing zone I'm honored honestly I Ben, and so there's just a lot of people in my firing zone. Nah, I'm honored.

Honestly, I listen to your guys' podcast for at least maybe two or three hours a day at work. That's iconic. Wait, what do you do for work? I work at a wood shop, so I have headphones in for the majority of the shift. Yeah, lumber man. Yeah, exactly. I work with a bunch of dudes who, as far as I we're also straight but like once again you never know i went to uh charge my phone in the office one day and i had your guys's um podcast on so on my screen and a giant text that says uh if your man's listening to this he's gay and my boss picks it up and he looks at my phone and he kind of looks at me and just hands it over

i'm not sure he's like i don't even want to know what you're doing. Well, you're our favorite caller of the day. We've got to answer this other one, but we love you. Thank you for calling in. Thanks for calling in. Lumber man. Have a good one. Have a great day.

Hello, hello. You're on the air with Ben and Josh. Tell us your problems and how can we solve them? Hello. Hello. Hello. Hi. What up, Eva? Where are you calling from um i'm calling from vancouver british columbia canada

i literally guess what looked at your area code and i said is that uh vancouver is this brandon no i texted with you randomly the other night for some bizarre reason was like baked out of my mind it was like i'm gonna fucking text Jacques from Seeking Derangement. And you got back to me and it was so nice. What did you say? We talked about bleach, about... Like the chemical? Yeah.

I asked Jacques what he was thinking about and he said, the smell of bleach. And I said, it tastes exactly like it smells it was exactly like it smells he was so high he was so high you have to be so blasted out of your mind to be thinking only about the smell of bleach that's like so based you know what smell of bleach the sound of silence the only two things you need to really change your game what do you want to talk about today caller um i've got a question just about scents about like um like cologne perfume body spray whatever so let me let me stop you right there too much like do you want to be able to taste it on yourself no if you're with another person and you can sort of like almost taste it is that like i don't know i'm i don't know where you're putting

it are you putting it on your genitals? I don't understand why it would be My genitals? Some guys do I don't understand how someone's I do not get that I hate I'll be honest, I don't wear deodorant If I do cologne, I'll just do one

Spritz on each Underneath my palm You're kissing someone else and then I'll put that on my neck, but I hate it when someone is just like head to toe sprayed and it's always guys who like, this is a little lewd,

but guys who shave their pubes are also like so sprayed down there. It's happened to me before and I'm like, this is so, this is such an affront to nature to me and like, it's so, and kind of like, I don't know, there's something psychologically about it. I find it to be very dishonest for some reason, but I feel the opposite way. I think it's a very great, I don't wear deodorant, so I use perfume from Aesop to balance my scent, and i always get compliments 24 7 and i apply very loosely and i apply on my clothes and some of my skin so i think it's a uh it's a placement choice

of where where the where do you place it all over your head all over the head to toe yeah i can smell on him now we we picked him up are we talking is this some like sandalwood vetiver type beat? I couldn't tell you exactly because I literally use about six different perfume flavors a week. Flavors? The brand is called Aesop. A-E-S-O-P

and I recommend... I'll leave you with this. I'll text you again next week i get asap product for free so i will send you a cool package of whatever you'd like i would love that long story but it's it was like through the my old roommate was the nanny for the guitar player of Nickelback. And his wife, his wife started a nonprofit, which is just like this thinly veiled way. It's so heinous. I see.

I don't even want to talk about it. I see. Anyways, she gets ASAP stuff for free and then gives it to me. So I have like a massive box pause of all of this shit just sitting around and it's major i would love it you know that's a great hook i'll mail i'll mail you a painting back that would be rad um okay cool i love you guys keep doing the podcast it is a welcome respite in my social worker life i listen to it all the time that's amazing we love you so much for listening thank you for calling you're welcome bye listening. Have a great day. Thank you for calling. You're welcome. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye. Okay, on that note for colognes, I usually don't wear a lot. I've always been searching for one. One of the best smells... Let me grab this. I'm going to be fast on the call. If anyone out there knows of a cologne that smells like jet fuel, it's one of my favorite smells, please let me know. Hello, you're on the air with Ben and Jock. Where are you

calling from? Oh my gosh, hey, my name is Elliot and I live in Los Angeles. Hello, Elliot. What's up? Hey, you can hear me okay? We can hear you perfectly. Elliot Gould? Yeah, hey, what's up?

Hey. Oh man, hey. See, you see, people think I'm just adding people on Instagram and not memorizing their names and who they are. I can envision exactly who you are. I don't want to describe you on the camera, but I can see you with my eyes. I'm beautiful. I'm radiant.

I'm gorgeous. It feels so good and so nice to have you know me. Wow. That's really cool. Thank you. What did you want to talk about today? You seem trendy. What?

What did you want to talk about today? Well, I had like a conversation. Well, I'm kind of estranged from my family. They're from the East Coast. Okay. And I live in Los Angeles, so I haven't really spoken to a lot of them in maybe a few years. I talk to my mom and my parents and my immediate family pretty semi semi-regularly but i haven't spoken to my one aunt specifically um and she is like she is a maniac like she is incredible um i was talking

to her yesterday and she was in costco and she was like hold on one minute i just have to return something this fucking woman returned um a plant that she bought from costco that was dying she ripped it up she unplanted it from the ground and brought it in bought from costco that was dying she ripped it up she unplanted it from the ground and brought it in from costco and got her money back like that is yeah it's crazy that's my kind of behavior crazy aunt behavior yeah for sure crazy aunt behavior so anyway um she was like i'm really happy you called yesterday because i have some stuff i want to send to you and i was like what is it and it? And she's like, oh, it's some of Grammy's stuff. My grandmother passed away.

She was like, this is all this, like, I divided it between your cousins and your sister, but there's some stuff I specifically want to send to you. And I was like, oh, great. And she's like, it's the Confederate money. So my great, great, great grandfather fought on the Union side. I'm so insane. On the Union side, Union union side union northern side in the civil war and i guess

in his whatever he was doing down there fighting in the civil war he brought back confederate money this is so framed and um now apparently they want to give it to me how much is it worth how much are we talking just i don't know i probably? I don't know. Probably I don't know. I don't even think it was worth much in Confederate times. Yeah, but I mean the historic value of these things will be worth something. They're like Sacagawea

coins that are worth like hundreds of thousands of dollars. Y'all the early 2000s prevalence of the Sacagawea coins was a huge impact. And every once in a while, I'll go to get cash from some kind of business or something. Or there's some kind of change machine. And it randomly gives you back exclusively Sacagawea coins.

It is the rudest thing that they could do. So is your question, do you accept the money or what? Are you having a dilemma? So is your question, do you accept the money or what? Are you having a dilemma? I'm having a dilemma because I do not want to be personally responsible for this family heirloom that means a lot to people but not to me. I don't want to explain why I have Confederate money. Why are you getting it if everyone else wants it?

No one else wants it. Oh, no one else wants it? No one else wants it. Oh, no one else wants it. Everything else. I see. Because I've been kind of like, I haven't spoken to my family for a year, like, since my grandmother passed away, essentially. And I guess everything else that was hers was divided up. Oh, so they took all the good stuff and they're like, let's give this dusty old bill. Okay, I see. Let's give this one to the lesbian that's living in Los Angeles.

They'll really say they want it. It might be worth something. It might be worth something. I don't know. It might be worth something. I would take it and I would get it appraised. And if it's not worth anything, I don't know, just throw it in your basement or something. You don't have to.

I live in a studio apartment. Okay, so that's another issue. You can put it on there. Yeah, no, it's space, it's stories, it's Confederacy that I don't really need or want. You know what, you could donate it to a local POC mutual aid group and tell them that you're

doing this for historic reasons. I'm sure they would love that. I love historic reasons. Oh my god, wait, I don't mean to be rude, but Jilly, my friend, is calling in right now. I can recognize her number, and I hope you don't mind. Take the money.

I gotta... Take the money. Take the money and run. We love you. We love you. Have a great day. Bye, love you. Bye, bye, bye.

Bye, bye. Well, Jilly, Jilly, Jilly. Hello, Jilly. Calling my phone up. Hello. It's also Grayson. Grayson, Grayson, Grayson. Hello. We got the original cast of Show Pig on the questionnaire now

so people hello, if anyone's watching on the live stream right now on Instagram who has a question for not only me but a question for me, Jilly, and Grayson since we were in the start original cast of Show Piz

the original cast, Show Piz. The original cast? Are we going to do a second one? I want to because I want to go back to LA. I did do a second one without y'all. But we can do the third one. We can do the third one together. That ain't right. That ain't right. I have a proposal.

I want to do a reenactment of the Jokeroker like the musical yes the part um with all of us that sounds great um i know i think it's like actually a good idea who would joc play joker lady gaga no no no that's for Jilly. Why did Jock play an amazing Gaga? Wait, Jilly or Grayson, who gets to be Lady Gaga? Don't fight. Well, Jilly, obviously, is my idea. We could play Lady Gaga twins.

Well, I could, no, but I could be the doctor again. Oh, yeah. What if it's like one of those Eddie Murphy movies where Jock plays all the parts? Hey, I'm honestly, I have a new movie idea. Us doing Josie and the Pussycat Dolls with Ruby. And y'all three are the Josie and the Pussycat Dolls. And you're just a pussy. And I get to be Parker Posey's villain character.

Oh, that's a good idea. I love that. I think, honestly, that's a better way for us. Jilly, why are you such a sweet, amazing friend of Jacques? Jacques is reading the Instagram chat. Why? I just deeply love him.

I love you so much. Falle a du. Sounds like a Cajun comedy club. Whoever wrote that, I love you so much. Fale Adu sounds like a Cajun comedy club. Fale Adu. Whoever wrote that, that's top tier comedy. I've been wanting to come to Austin. I miss y'all so much. I know.

Jacques, are we going to talk about BPDIs? BPDIs? Yeah. Okay. Jacques, is this because of what I said in the car yesterday? No, because I also snapped at Ben for doing it. Oh, Jock showed me... Okay, Jock showed me...

She might be listening again. Yesterday on the Call-In Show, a girl called in and basically told Jock that she wanted to copulate. And then Jock showed me the picture that she sent him. No, she's a very pretty girl. Very pretty girl. Yeah. But I was like,

Jock really pulls. But I was like, oh, she has BPD face. And Jock was like, Ben, you can't say that. That ain't real. And I was like, oh, it's real. It's absolutely real. Okay, because i got yelled at

on the on the dms the other night for posting something about a contestant from love island having bpis what does i'm sorry grayson i should have called and apologized what does that look like to you it's okay i really was like i didn't want to make you feel bad like honestly i was like but i also don't want you to think that i'm like making fun of mentally ill people no like i was i was having an unnecessary freak out but also then frank said at dinner last night that i keep getting in fights with people or not at dinner that dinner night before and i hate and he's like wow you keep getting you keep losing a lot of friends what a bitch okay jack we didn't get into a fight, though. No.

You said something, and I took it, and we hashed it out. It was fine. It was just like... I think he was talking about other fights with other friends. Yeah. Not me. Jacques and I will be friends until he dies before me. If those people are easy to lose as friends, then they weren't your real friends to begin with

because they don't know who you are and they don't know your... Or you all have BPD, just saying. No offense. Can you say that again, please? What about dance moms? I spoke to... I spoke over you.

I'm sorry. Can you please repeat yourself, ma'am? Who are you talking to? Either of y'all. I don't know. One of y'all said something. Wait, somebody said something about somebody's mom having... Being BPD.

No, no one's mom has BPD. Oh, someone on the... What is BPD face says... So, yeah, I feel like if we're going to talk about it, maybe we can describe it. You said that you saw a contestant on Love Island love island who has love you tage palm who has bpd eyes what does that look like to you because i have i think i have a pretty good diagnosis for bpd face but what does he look at me what does bpd eyes what do those look like to you how would you describe them the eyes were they're very i mean big beautiful expressive eyes one i'm not i'm not i'm not i'm not being like talking about yourself i'm not

big beautiful eyes yes the the emotion is so you can see the emotions in their eyes yeah no you can't you can see it switch on a dime yes be like and they also i feel like when you when they when like you're they're more in an upset phase you get more of like a glossy reddish kind of yeah yeah you see that right now you can you can see them trying to conceal uh their emotions as well because they know they shouldn't freak out and then you can see the like them trying like talking to themselves like calm down calm down don't freak out don't freak out right yeah and then i think with bpd face it's kind of just the micro expressions of it all you can see someone like being about to freak out or you say something that's completely non-offensive

and then you can see them registered as a personal attack upon themselves and that is what i would describe as bpd face i am like i cannot recognize this in people like at all like i never know i would never like get that what's indignant mean who called you indignant no i was talking about steven peeing again in my front yard indignant is like stubborn or um you know hard to work with and a little anger to it as well i agree someone peed in your front yard yes and ben and kurt know that his toilet was broken i said my bathroom is broken i'm kidding you can come inside and pee he said oh, oh, it's too late. I peed outside. What is your problem? Disgusting

behavior of a brute. I think it looked personally, it was raining. It was fine. But Jilly, Grace, and me are getting another call. Please do not kick me in the head. Thank you so much for calling in today. I love y'all so much. Bye. Bye-bye. Y'all, those are my girls. Hello? Hey, you're on the

line with Ben and Jock Where are you calling from? Hello Hello Hey Hey I'm calling from Portland Portland, Oregon

What's up? I'm about to be back there What's your name? What did you want to talk about today? My name's Brendan Jock I actually live like right down the street From the Lloyds town You said you're going to be back there soon

Yeah I'm going to be there The 9th, the 10th And also the 15th and the 16th and i'm also playing a show in ashland at the warehouse on the 12th and i'll be playing some seeking derangement fans are throwing a house party on the 10th in portland so iconic you're so close um so what's up you um i actually so i was calling because i'm from wisconsin originally and i was gonna i heard earlier ben was talking about the uh the drinking race yeah do you have a theory on it i thought i don't know if i have a full theory but i think i can offer some insight i think like well for one like the um those like

those like graphs and like charts and stuff have definitely been going around the internet for like forever yeah people in wisconsin are for sure aware of it and i think like very proud of it oh so it's like it's like a it's a meta thing they're doing it so they can yeah i mean that is true because in the midwest like an identity yeah in the midwest people feel like they're forgotten and then the one moment that their state gets you know quote unquote remembered they latch on to that yeah yeah that's exactly it there's some other things like i know like the drinking age was like 18 until like the 80s yes so i think that was just some cultural stuff but there's also like another factor is there's um have you ever heard of the wisconsin tavern league no it's like a crazy um

like bar lobbying group which is like it's like the most powerful lobbyist in the state is the like and they represent bars and taverns across wisconsin yeah yeah and they're so there it's basically like the same it's like the way that, like, tobacco companies used to, like, you know, like, control legislature. There's, like, a mini version of that in Wisconsin, but for alcohol. Right. So I think they've exerted, like, a lot of, like, I don't know, they're, like, yeah, pushing both, like like culturally and legally to just like make it more conducive to binge drink i guess right i also think it's like it's it's the lake culture in wisconsin it's like sports culture and it is also just like german ancestry where you're just like

drinking beer all day and also because it's the midwest and you're kind of bored there's not a lot to do yeah and it's definitely like i mean i can't speak to the data like i don't know it is crazy when you see those like maps or whatever it seems like that can't be true but it's so i don't know i can't really speak to like the difference between wisconsin and like i don't know illinois or whatever but it is definitely there is like an insane drinking culture there lafayette required federal intervention when they changed the drinking age from 18 to 21 to were there riots in the street they had to send it no no no no no but but but they were one of the last cities in the u.s to not follow through to keep it at 18 and that's why you don't really go to a lot of places where it's like 18 to get into the bar but that's how it is for Lafayette for most places.

Yeah. I would have thought that Louisiana was like one of the heaviest drinking states. Absolutely. I'm just saying it's crazy. Oh, hey, look, I don't mean to be rude, but we are getting a call from a number I've never seen before, and I do like the arrangement of the numbers. I just wanted to offer that.

Thanks, guys. Thank you for calling in. Thank you so much, sweetheart. Have a great day. Hello, hello. you're on the right how's it going today hi where are you calling from

we're calling from Maine Maine's in the house Maine's in the house what do you want to talk about today okay RuPaul so so I actually am calling because I want an apology from Jock. Perfect.

Okay, that's cool. Can you tell us what happened? So, what happened was that I'm such a big fan, and I love his artwork. And I reached out to him so he could send me one of his amazing uh dj sensitive doc um pieces and he never delivered i will i will uh okay this is the second time we've gotten this i have i need to let me just i would love to just settle this immediately i don't think it's funny ben don't hit me because he's sitting there I don't think it's funny, Ben. Don't hit me.

Because he's sitting there laughing at me. I can laugh. It's funny. It's hilarious. You're just smacking. Jock is hitting me every time. Because I thought it was so cool. Hey, look, look, look.

Wait, wait, wait. Can you just text me right now? Can I text you from the same number so that I can fix this? Because I do really legitimately feel bad. I really am sorry. It was never my intention. It was an accident. Oh, I'm so happy you remembered. Wait. I just wanted an apology. Well, I want to fix you.

I'm sorry. He's really good at apologies. can you shut the i'm saying you're really good at apologies you don't mean that i do mean it um could can you dm me right now so that we can i can really oh no oh i honey um i'm over it's okay no but can i still i want to give you your painting i want to send you the painting i want to know it wasn't a painting it was a t-shirt well then i'll send you the t i was confused i let me send you the t-shirt i'm sorry what was the t-shirt uh the t-shirt it was just gonna be like a dj sensitive job i got i got you he never delivered delivered. I just thought he was scamming. I just thought he was out here scamming people. No.

It was an accident. I'm just one person sending out a lot of orders. If I ever mess up an order, I try to fix it as quick as I possibly can. I love you so much. I just wanted to support a struggling artist.

I just said, you know what? Let it be. I know Doc. He's so special. I just had to let it go. Let me get you the shirt. Can you just DM me so I can get your size and your address so I can ship it tomorrow?

Or, well, it'll have to be on Monday, but is it Saturday message jock finish this finishes off the show we're getting another call sorry about that wait wait don't hang up don't hang up wait wait will you please DM me or text me so I can

I love you guys I love you we love you too I love you guys thank you so much for calling in hello you're on the air with Ben and jock where are you calling from hello I love you guys. I'm really sorry. You'll still get the shirt. Text Jock. Thank you so much for calling in. Hello, hello, hello. How can I help you? You're on the air with Ben and Jock. Where are you calling from? Hello?

Hello. Hello. Where are you calling from? Oh, my gosh. Hello, you beautiful divas. What's up, diva? Okay, diva. This is Noah from Seattle.

Hello, Noah from Seattle. Oh, what's up, Noah? What do you want to talk about today? Okay, I just want... So, I just have a few questions. Okay. Ben, before you... Well, it's more for Jacques, actually.

Thank you. Ben, before you culturally appropriated voodoo culture with the Jacques doll, Jacques, have you had any experience with the voodoo arts of Louisiana? No, I've only been cursed by Ben and then in retrospect... We have the dolls with us. By the way. You guys have both of the dolls? We have both of the dolls.

That's iconic. Jock told me that mine was burned because I didn't know what I did with it. But it was really strange because I got a sunburn two days before that so i was like oh my god this is jocks doing but oh my god right now jocks is missing a missing a foot and i'm sorry if you get diagnosed with diabetes and have to put a wheel on man fuck this guy i'm sorry i'm apolog to you. I feel like you guys have been threatening him with a

wheel for years. He did that shit outside of the show. He looked at me up and down and he said, you're just going to end up on wheels. And I'm not talking about roller skates. You're going to have no limbs. Just wheels. I'm sorry. That was rude.

The kind of fat phobia I have to suffer from for my family I think would be enough. But Ben and Hessa would love to perpetuate my fat life in order to try to get the attention off of their disfigured bodies. Their disfigured bodies. Do you have any experience with voodoo? No, I don do you have any experience with voodoo was no i don't really have any experience with voodoo but i have seen the coven season of american horror story which takes place in new orleans and it has a whole voodoo plot line with marie laveau so your only experience with it is with american horror story did i i think i that's what i just

said but i i could be wrong um i don't have any experience i don't have any personal outside of my you know my own dabbling in in the in the practice but it does seem fun and i mean like it is a real like religion and like haiti and stuff i think it's it's really bastardized here i'm sorry that's that is my fault i lied i lied i lied oh go ahead i have seen the movie the the serpent and the rainbow it's a different movie well and that really is a way more accurate depiction it's actually based off of an anthropological book we got to take this call but i won't voodoo curse you thank you for joining us today. Arigato. Hello. Welcome to the show.

How can I help you? Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Where are you calling from today? Chicago. Boston, Massachusetts.

Boston, Massachusetts. What's your name and what did you want to talk about today? My name is Haley. I'm hoping no one has brought this up yet, but I wanted to know if you guys have heard about the hetero awesome fest

that happens in Boise, Idaho. Yes, in Boise, Idaho. Yes. I really wanted to know if you guys heard about the hetero awesome fest that happens yes i really wanted to go to it okay the funniest thing about this i don't know if you looked at the programming for it it is held at one bar because there's just one insane woman who's like super homophobic and like hates pride and she was like okay i'm going to have festivities at my one like tavern in boise and some of the festivities were like heterosexual karaoke hour and let me see if i can pull it up here it's so funny how did you hear about it um i just on social media i saw a clip of the one of the organizers talking about how great boise is and one of the reasons he gave was because there's not a lot of black people oh my god jesus christ they are absolutely insane boise i'm not from boise no my my all

me and ben used to work with a lot of people from boise they're they're weird they are they are very yeah um no i really i can't find the programming for it but it was fucking hilarious i really wanted to go and just see what kind of person shows up to this and the most embarrassing thing about it to me is that like because gay culture is so dominant and like mainstream now the only way that they can have like some kind of straight pride event is by literally copying the events of pride like They had a parade outside the restaurant. They had karaoke. They're doing the gay stuff.

Straight Pride is like going to the grocery store or just being outside. You know what I mean? You guys don't have to do this. You should be able to be normal. Straight Pride is not caring about gay guys and San Francisco. Just mow your lawn in Boise you

know yeah yeah people showed up they sound like 80 85 thousand or eight $85,000 on it or something crazy like oh my god that is so funny I mean I guess it's probably a great you know PR strategy for that I'm sure absolutely horrid bar in Boise, Idaho. But yeah, I missed it. I really want to go. Maybe I'll go next year and go undercover.

That would be amazing. The first thing I thought of when I saw it was I can't wait for Speaking to Range and talk about this. We're getting another call. We'll follow through on it and we'll do some reporting from Heterosexual Awesome Fest next year. Love you, baby. Thank you for joining for joining love you too have a great day hello hello hello you're on the air with ben and jock how's it going today oh hi hello hello ohio

i'm sarah from texas where in texas we're in texas like like jackson texas talker houston whoa nice you're not far from us then i love houston i go there all the time We're in Texas. We're in Texas. Lake Jackson, Texas, South of Houston. Whoa. Nice. You're not far from us then. I love Houston. I go there all the time. Yeah. I love it.

Yeah, I love it too. Yeah, I could literally drive over there anyways. What did you want to talk about today? So, I just started a lawsuit against my... Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh immediately. And like...