Seeking Derangements - Episode 1: Seeking Derangements

Episode Date: March 18, 2020

WE ARE HERE AND WE ARE QUEER and also we have a podcast. Ben's Friend's Prison Canteen Fund: https://www.paroleprepny.org/donate Sum Linx: Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/seekingderangements https://twitter.com/bitch_updates https://twitter.com/PALMAUNLlMITED intro/// Lavender Country - Cryin' These Cocksuckin' Tears outro/// Erasmo Carlos - Meu Mar (single version)

I'm fine for when there won't be no straight men, cause you all have a common disease. Can't give very much for lovin' and such, but you take it wherever you please. Don't wrap the story, tell me the glory Scallop hat, scallop is near But your lies can't deceive me I know that you'll leave me Riding these cocksuckin' tears Hi everybody, welcome to Seeking Derangements

I'm Max I'm Ben, It's Ben Mora. And I'm Palma. Yeah, Max aka Palma for anyone who knows Max from his seven suspensions. My government name that nobody really knows. I don't even know your last name. I don't really want to. It doesn't matter. I'll tell you later. even know your last name i don't i don't really want to but um it doesn't matter i'll tell you later mine's already out there so there's not much i can do about salvaging my uh reputation but yeah

everyone welcome to our podcast um i think you can i hope people can people can probably differentiate between our voices they'll figure it out i sound a bit gayer than than max does and also like look a bit gayer than max does for And also look a bit gayer than Max does, for the record. Well, yeah. Well, the reason that is is because I live at home with my Salvadoran conservative parents. And they probably wouldn't take kindly to me doing the gay hand thing. So you're fagging around the house? Fagging around the house, yeah.

No, absolutely not. My room's great, but I can't fuck anybody in it. You know how much pain that causes me? I mean, yeah, I don't prefer to host. I prefer to travel. I hate when people overstay their welcomes. But, I mean, yeah. You're going on an adventure.

Yeah, I just love going on adventures. Oh, my God. But, yeah, I mean, I guess none of us will ever know what max's real voice sounds like because his parents don't let him be gay it's tamped down like far enough into my soul that you know like i've forgotten about it yeah i i know why the cagedaged fag doesn't talk gay. Why the caged fag can't lisp. I can hear that caged fag lisp and it's not pretty. Yeah, I don't have the practice at it. I mean, personally, I find gay men's voices to be really annoying.

I can hardly stand the noise. Ben, I think your voice is lovely. Thank you. Maybe there's a career for me doing voiceovers for movies. In a world. In a world where gay guys do voiceovers.

Yeah, you'll do all the promos for Bravo. Yeah, I could do all the promos. I think, yeah. We'll see. We'll see what would happen yeah but um okay well enjoy our gay voices um while we're here recording for you entertaining you we're both on quarantine i'm in new york i'm in chinatown and uh max is in california yes i'm in sacramento if anyone comes here and hits me up and finds me on the street, I will kill you. I will defend myself.

Yeah, but we've both been in quarantine. I'm in my friend's apartment. They've all left. I came here to see my friend Krista, and there are three girls in this apartment. They've all vacated. So I'm now squatting in a Chinatown apartment on quarantine. Look at the bright side. You can shit with the door open.

Yeah, well, there are two bathrooms here now, but my friend Krista got a package today, and I brought it upstairs looking at it, and then I looked at it, and it was clearly some piece-of-shit clothing she bought off AliExpress, but it came from China. So I reached out and i threw it one of the bathrooms to like quarantine the package oh my god i am currently down to one bathroom

because one of them is quarantining a aliexpress package well you better not clog the toilet and then you're truly fucked yeah yeah like i have um i have enough stuff to like wipe my ass with like i did run out of toilet paper earlier but there are kleenexes and paper towels here and they're also because this is an apartment of like three like 22 year old girls there are a bunch of pads i can resort to pads i was so bored earlier that i was just like, you know, just pacing around the apartment. And I like pulled out a tampon to like examine it. And I was like, oh my god, this is an insane contraction. Every day I'm so happy that I'm not a woman.

Yeah. Like I don't have to deal with any of that crap. God bless them. Gays think they're special because they douche. I'm like, have you got any idea? Yeah. They have to strap a little diaper to themselves so they don't bleed through their hands once a week like oh my god yeah like what's the biggest like worry as a gay person right like aids like

let's right aids and like um like your grinder hookup is 20 pounds heavier than what they said in their post, which. Yeah, that or like your boutique eatery doesn't take off. I don't know. I'm not sure what our biggest fears are, but we are in the midst of another pandemic. Yeah. I mean, how's your quarantine going? My quarantine's all right. I called my GP earlier and. What is a GP is a general practitioner?

Oh God. Yeah. Like my physician, my, my, my family doctors. And, uh, yeah, I called him and I was like, yeah, I, uh, have, have had these symptoms for a while. Like I've been quarantining just in case, but like, I'm not sure what's going on. Um, like I had a fever, like a really light fever for the first couple weeks uh or first couple weeks first couple days and then um like a really bad cough like blocked up sinuses i just want to make sure that it's not coronavirus and um and like because i'm young i you could expect younger people to not you know

manifest as many symptoms like maybe they're fine, but they're also still carrying it. So I called them and like rattled all these symptoms off, like expecting like, yeah, okay. Like this might be a big deal. You might want to come down for testing. And he just like shrugged me off and was like, yeah, you, you might not have it. Cool, man.

Awesome. They're doing that for a lot of people who have symptoms they're just not they're just not like giving them tests they're not doing any of that they're like wait until you start to die and then go to an er meanwhile that uh like the entire utah jazz like literally the shittest franchise in all of nba utah jazz the utah jazz they all got tested immediately in oklahoma because of ruda gobert um that's a basketball team that's a basketball team yeah utah jazz you're fucking kidding yeah well actually well this is really stupid but they used to be the um they used to be based in new orleans and of course that fits a lot more with the fucking jazz name

um and like a bunch of mormons bought the team and brought it over to Utah, to Salt Lake City, and didn't change the fucking name. The Utah Jazz. Yeah. That's amazing. Makes zero sense. Zero sense. Okay, well, what should we talk about today? I mean, Corona, clearly, that's the big one.

Yeah, but like everyone's talking about Corona. Like, what are we going to fucking say about Corona that hasn't even been said? I mean, don't get it. I don't know. It's fucked up. Yeah. I'm just starting to get scared about it. Yeah, it's not good.

These past, like, five days have been really scary. Oh, no. Like, I've been living, like, the past, like, day and a half, like, since i got that call back from my doctor just like i've i've spat in the face of death like i have completely um like gone like full black pill like i don't care whether or not i live or die well i didn't used to care whether or not i lived or die but now i just sincerely don't care yeah like i'm going out there and i'm licking every doorknob and i'm fucking every guy in sight i'm getting that coronavirus i want to live i'm not i'm not licking anything uh people nor doorknobs i'm staying inside um yeah it's not gonna happen

to me but um i mean i've been yeah i've been here looking at my kind of roommates tampons and pads and wondering what the hell's going on like intermediately like working out like it feels like i'm in prison because i'm just like pacing around the apartment wearing the same clothes like working out but like clearly not enjoying any of the sex those guys have and not having the amazing sex they have oh yeah no kidding it's really fucked up what's happening with people in prison yeah i mean imagine like those are gonna be the first people they let fucking die oh for sure in brazil like there's this a massive like prison break that just happened and like

nobody cares because they're like yeah good because like all those people are gonna die anyway in the prison like they're not gonna go to the fucking prison hospital they don't have enough icu beds for all those old motherfuckers and uh you know with swastika tattoos and uh you know rape convictions let them out it's fucked up yeah my friend has my friend has a gofundme for people who like need commissary funds met or something so i'm gonna post that sorry if i'm being cringe max i'm going to post that in the description okay yeah send me the link so i can put in the description max is max is gonna edit this out later because he thinks it's cringe to do nice things for people i don't think it's cringe but i do think it's cringe to do that and also like not like there needs to be a balance of karma you you are you you are a precious little angel you're you're

a queen like you are the devil on someone's right right hand shoulder uh and i'm on the left side i've got like the horns and sucking dick cloven yeah like cloven hooves and like a 25 inch penis like hanging loose and pre-coming all over your left shoulder um yeah i mean that's all i've been doing is just pacing around here working out but you know jacking off of course a lot of course made me made me miss tumblr porn oh yes a lot of tumblr porn a lot of child and reverge porn on there that it's it's a. Wait, you said child and revenge? See, that's not where I was ever coming from with Tumblr porn.

Oh, no. Like, I'm into twinks. It's like, you really have to, like, toe the line. Like, do I take them at their word that this is an 18-year-old? Do you really think that this is an 18-year-old? I'm not going to jack off to that. No, but I mean, that shit's only...

That's even on, like, Pornhub, though. Pornhub's so much worse. Yeah, yeah yeah it's kind of sick that they are like allowed to like stay in business there's um there's a verified amateur on there that like i want the bottom like there's this disgusting like fat uh hot hank hong sorry ham hot edit you can't you can't um flub calling someone fat no he's not fat he's like just very ham hock he is a ham hock uh like just like those guys that like they're hunks but like that's honey those are like 20 pounds worth of like fat on your belly, man. Like that's at a certain point you have to start like calling yourself a chub, right? Like there's a thin. People are into that.

There's a thin, flush-colored line. The thing is like people, like gay guys I think really hate the like body type that's so lust lost like believed to be lusted after by people it's like you know like zero ounce body fat like muscled no one no one likes that no i mean of course not but the point that i'm trying to make is like the bottom is like this five foot four like incredible body like twink yeah right just just like he looks like he is 14 years old and i'm like i'm begging him to like please like wink at the camera or something like i this looks like you are in this like disgusting israeli guys like fucking dungeon uh his name is zilv goodell and like and like he has like a mediocre penis and and and like way too much fat around his uh midsection to

call himself a hunk i'm sorry well we'll see about that just you know flash your government id so we know how old you are exactly safe i mean the tumble porn i always like is just like you know like super specific like random stuff like you could search something like latino twunk like public melon funk like fuck i get like 250 videos on it like you could just scroll endlessly on like that topic like that's fun it's like funny um but i don't know i i do miss tumblr porn because everything on pornhub is just kind of disgusting yes i 100 i was like no good amateur porn on pornhub maybe i don't know where to look no no no like i i have tried looking and there is like two or three good videos and they're all like pirated like um only fans videos and i'm i'm sorry i'm not gonna pay 25 a month for like

two or three like jack off videos uh and then, and then, like, you know, forget about it. I've never been on OnlyFans, but, like, judging from the, like, OnlyFans gays Twitter, like, it cannot be that interesting. Like, if you can't, like, do something, like, that's even close to being funny, I really doubt you can do anything, like, sexually interesting in your OnlyFans.

They are jacking off and twisting their nipples, like, every two minutes, and then, like, coming every two minutes and then like coming in in two minutes 50 seconds guaranteed every single time too good for them though amazing you know someone's gotta i mean i'm yeah you know but you know i also love like tumblr porn it was amazing because you would just get these videos you just like scroll like every third video of like you know like a self sock like an elevator fork or like a non-hookup like every third video of like you know like a self sock like an elevator fork or like a non-hookup like every third video would just be like attributes like alia's death or like the

latest yes like lindsey lohan or like that was really cool it was like a like this a gossip rag like synthesized with like just disgusting poor my favorite ones were were the blogs that were like um like very obviously russian like the people that owned them were russian and yeah because of course like what other kind of twink is there um you said it's russian this way it's russians yeah i mean at least like on porn sites like every other all the other twinks are just like so puritan hiding your bodies away from from from my watchful eyes Anyway

So these guys would like post Like every other post would be like Not every other post but like every so often you get like A gif that was like Obviously copied from like an Indian Whatsapp like blingy Good morning and it was like a Shitty like 3D rose

With like sparkles all over it That's so cute Yeah and after that it's like them taking like a shitty 3D rose with sparkles all over it. That's so cute. Yeah. And after that, it's like them taking a BBC dildo 11 inches up their ass and moaning loudly. God, I love it. I love it. I love that pain. No, no, no, no, no.

Not for me. But yeah, that's been my quarantine. It's just missing tumblr porn they should have banned like you wrote this down and but i agree with you like they really should have banned everything except the porn yeah they should have like banned everything like but porn like tumblr was like a you know it's a cringe cia like psyop to divide the natural allyship between like fat girls and gays by yeah like pitting them against each other so they just have this like victimhood phrase to the bottom it was like everyone is way too obsessed with their own thing to realize that like oh yeah like gay guys like love fat girls and vice versa like we have a

lot of fun together absolutely yeah because like we're the only guys that pay attention to fat women well that but you know i don't yeah maybe that's like no strings attached like if you're a hot girl if you are a traditionally and and like socially acceptably fat or fat hot white girl socially fat well yeah sure like white woman uh like you are going to be drowning in in male friends platonic male friends some of them like might have feelings for you actually most of them probably do you know that's how it works but like like gay guys we are like the soul like we are allies with with fat women yeah i love them god bless them but like tumblr divided that because like gay guys are too busy like dramatically putting a piece of duct tape over their mouth and like you know faggot on their like cheekbone like writing faggot on their cheekbone

i'm silenced i'm being silenced just like like no like no one's silencing you really just don't no one cares the only people silencing uh queers online is twitter hq yeah people silencing us also uh bernie sanders are firing me just kidding love you bernie bernie can get it i'm not into older like please be around either five or ten years uh like around my age with a hard bottom at 18 but uh bernie sanders i am making a big exception for you i am i'm ready to take it bernie's just one of those guys he's just he's just hot because of like what he does yes yes uh he could look like anything he he could literally look like it could be roxane gay with a penis and i would still like like bottom for him yeah but he is he is like regardless of that like pretty hot like this

pics of him when he was young he's hot also he's tall i've met him and people don't understand that he's like he's like a big boy he's like six one he's very commanding you can tell he has like a he's got a big one folks oh yeah absolutely he's got big hands and big feet you know what that means yeah absolutely i want him to pull my oh let's not get into that i was watching this happened to me like speaking of watching a porn this happened to me like a while ago but this is one of the most insane things that's ever happened to me was, you know, the website by LatinBet.com. Yes. Yeah.

Of course. Bet on it. Yeah. It's like basically the whole thing smacks of like these people are like illegal immigrants that are bringing like the come town like they labor voice people like guys people, like, guys, all, you know. I think a lot of it is taken out of the country. Yes. I mean, anyways. Well, yeah.

I think so. I don't know. But. Very exploitative, like most porn. Yeah, it's very exploitative. Yeah, like, literally, like, day laborers. Whatever frequent or home deeper to pick these people up and, brought them back to the house like hey you're coming to like lay tile and they get there it's like actually like

this is a gay porn studio like it's disgusting yeah anyways I tell it arc your back oh god um but I was watching one of these I watch nasty sorry

bad I did something bad yeah I know all porn is like that though anyways yes it's something far worse that happened and this is kind of what was one of the things that was like oh my god like porn is like so exploited and like disgusting like no one really thinks about that like so i was watching it and there was this, there's this boy. I like not boy, it's man. Um, and like the,

what do you call it? The thumb, the thumbnail of the video was this like, you know, like kind of sick, thin, like Latino guy on his neck. He had a tattoo that said Sean.

Oh no. Yeah. Really fucked up. If like anyone has a neck, anyone has a neck tattoo of someone of someone's name is clearly a different race like that's absolutely that guy was paid in math for sure well uh even worse because just to backtrack here like i used to live in denver when i was living in denver there was and if any guys from denver are listening to this you

probably know exactly what i'm talking about here but there's a pretty what were you gonna say no i was gonna say if there's anyone who knows you from denver probably shut this off because it's gonna get yeah i really want like no one i know to listen to this oh but me neither yeah anyways when i was living in denver there was like a really prolific grinder profile there called daddies and son oh no have you heard of it maybe but I've heard you I remember you told this story before but please go on because it's great so there was this um this profile called daddy and sons and it was exactly that I mean like there was a daddy like the profile picture was this old guy like this old bloated white guy that has like red skin that like irish people get in

the face just like no disgusting blue eyes and like blonde hair it was him and like this picture was styled like off like literally like a family photo except they were all just like torrent like just like their shirts were all off he's in like the center in the back and like kind of has his arms open like around the shoulders of like seven like twigs like latino twigs oh no yeah and like again like this like clearly these got these guys were like way younger than, well, maybe not way younger, but they're, like, 17, 16. Really disgusting stuff that this guy was doing. God, nasty. I, like, they would, like, message me.

And I remember just being, like, what the fuck is going on here? Like, if I, like, you know, I was, like, really bored at the time. But I was, like, you know, like, I'm going to message back just to, like, see what this, who's even running this account? You know what like i'm gonna message back just to like see what this who's who's even running this account you know like is it the daddy is it one of the sons where do these boys come from what the fuck is going on does anyone like need help and so i would get these messages and they would like come over and fuck and i was like i don't not really my thing like i would like talk to them be like how's how's your day what's going on oh my god it's just like horrible lewd suggestions that they would make and it became clear that it was the daddy who was running this account because like all of the

stuff that was said was just like it was what a like 38 year old pervert would. It's how that kind of guy would narrate the life of like a young twig. You know what I mean? Like it's just clear that that's what was going on. No. Just got my ass fucked by daddy. It's like just shit like that. I'm like, okay.

No. You're lying. You're fucking lying. But. I mean, all gay guys lie so well yeah color me surprised foreign liars but you know some take it further than others um but uh so yeah i was like they they like you should come over for dinner and i was like kind of intrigued and was like well maybe they'd like go over there for like dinner just to like be a little bit of a double agent like they liberate

some boys who knows who knows right and so i was like yeah i'd go over there for dinner like not eat anything because they probably drug it and yeah they live they sent me their address and they lived in parker which is a like sub like pretty rich suburb of Denver and excuse me um and it was like at the house like literally on a cul-de-sac like in this middle of the suburbs like it was like clearly it was like a six-bedroom home not surprised yeah not surprised like this is just this shit's just like happening like broad daylight and I never went over there for dinner because they were like right before I was supposed to like go if you plan this a day before like yeah we'll cook dinner and you can come have dinner with us oh no and I I like was like okay cool like I'll be there they're like okay come tomorrow like seven or

whatever and like right before I was like okay I'm headed over and they're like you can only come if you plan to fuck and I was like yeah not not feeling it um and so that was kind of the end of it for like a month. Cause they, they blocked me right after that. That was the end of it for like a month or two. And then one day I was walking home and I got a call from one of my friends and he's like, Oh my God, do you remember daddy and sons? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, I'm going to text you this article. And he texted me this article and I think it was like vice or something. and he texted me this article and I think it was like Vice or something and it turns out that the guy I think his name was Sean Crumpler I'm pretty sure that that was his name no maybe I'm like entirely doxing a different Sean right now and that name is just like floating floating around

in my like gay brain as being him but I think I think that's his name and I very apologize that if there's a Sean Crumpler like tangentially no out there and i've just accused you of being uh you know like twink hoarding rapist i'm very sorry but yeah don't don't hoard twinks there's a lot of twink lovers out there that aren't uh can't afford to hoard them give us a job please please um but there was this article written and it detailed kind of just like the horrific life that was was happening in this like suburban home where it's like these boys were like cold like they were like brought in from like various parts of like the southwest where like sean was clearly on grinder like you know like searching for people using like filters and like basically like uh what would you call it like um

uh like extraditing them to parker oh yeah yeah absolutely flying them out because you know like a lot of like you know i was getting kicked out of their homes like you like max is an at-risk uh lgbt i am at risk for that i'm i'm too fat or too too chubby i'm not gonna say fat anymore because i used to be 200 pounds but now i'm like okay i'm less fat now max's parents wouldn't kick him out for being too fat yeah i mean i was 200 pounds if they didn't kick me out then, you know, like, I mean, I lose some weight on the streets. God, I wish I wish maybe then I would probably lose weight. Yeah. But now, yeah, go on.

Yeah, I don't know. But, um, oh, yeah. So, yeah, he was like flying these twinks out, having them live with him. And like, you know, a few of them would talk about it and they're like yeah you know there were like bowls of drugs you know around the house he'd like buy his weed and you know we would like have to fuck him like every night um so like really fucked up shit was going on um and it turns out that he gave like half of them hiv no yeah that's insane anyways to bring it fucking back to this fucking video i saw um by latin men.com he sean yeah shout out

have a song um he uh this guy had sean sorry i should say sean they would send me a bunch of pictures from that account right and in those pictures it was like he was getting them tattooed he would get their names tattooed on them and so when i saw this porn and this guy this poor guy in the video had the name sean tattooed on his neck i was like oh my fucking god. Like, it's one of the sons from Daddies and Sons. Wow. Yeah, it's so fucked. We cracked the code. We found Carcosa. We found out what was going on.

But like, yeah, some of the pictures were insane. I wish I had saved them. Because he would take them on trips. He would take them on trips and get... To where? They went to the M&M store in New York City. This is a really psychotic picture of that. That's insane.

At the M&M store. I didn't say it, but it's this insane picture of this old white guy with just six trailing twink Latinos. No. Baby ducks following a mother duck. No. And they're just at the m&m store no it's so fucked but yeah thank god he's in jail yeah jesus christ like why are those why are those

boys having to do porn now they should just like be able to like live in his home it's just like yeah get his inheritance whatever he probably had a second second family and like across the country they should keep uh bi-latin men running as a worker-owned co-op oh my god wow that would be hot that would be extremely hot can you imagine they all have aids and they own bi-latinmen.com oh they just like bite the bullet you know beautiful beautiful um yeah i mean that's that's been my day watching porn now thinking about all of that shit yeah okay well you you had your fun with with all that pornography i watched the the clinton documentary the first day i was oh my god and uh i almost lost my mind that bitch is fucking insane i hope she dies soon and goes straight to hell because, oh, my God, there's literally no way that she's, like, going anywhere else. She could go somewhere else and it's off the planet with my catapult.

Yeah. Yeah, no, she's evil. I saw the first couple episodes of that and i just couldn't take it because i was like oh this is such propaganda because at like some point i was like i had like turned off like critical faculties and i'm just like oh hillary she seems like pretty nice yes that same thing happened to me but then i realized like literally i was trying to like rationalize okay like yeah maybe she is pretty nice but like that doesn't make sense because like the best like the most charitable reading i can give her like i i had uh like a 95 95 99 degree fever like i had a

light fever going on that day and i hadn't had any medicine for that i wasn't taking tylenol or anything it was just in bed sick and um i was like thinking, like the best like best possible way you could see this as a lib or anyone in particular. Right. Is like she's just incompetent. Like she makes the wrong decision every single time. Yeah. The most charitable view of Hillary through this documentary is that she's just a grossly incompetent dumbass. And she's she's just a grossly incompetent dumbass. She's a fuck-up. Well, not just a scheming elitist or just like no human life

is a cost to expand her own power, right? Yeah, absolutely. There's these clips as well where she's dumping on Bernie and suddenly Bernie makes a good point and suddenly this suspenseful like ominous music pops up and like in a crescendo as he's talking about fucking medicare for all

like jesus fucking christ you dumb cunt like get together like he is not going to take your fucking like pedophile kids away like the doj can fucking do that in a Republican government no matter what. Right. Like very obviously, like for her, the risk is like, oh, like suddenly I can't charge fucking Goldman Sachs $200,000 for a one hour speech speech at their headquarters because like they won't exist. Yeah. Right. Because Goldman Sachs is like a shitty thing. exist yeah right because goldman sachs is like a shitty like thing did it did it ever get to the because like i stopped during the like primary primary run in 2016 when they were like yes recapping that and it's like it's like so clear this whole time that like they were filming it with the intention of it being this like victory documentary yes 100 but i didn't get past the primaries did is there footage of her like

losing to trump yes yes there is and actually um she doesn't get teared up uh about about losing like she's just like she can't cry lizards don't have tear dogs lizards do not have tear dogs before anyone calls us misogynist for uh calling hillary clinton a cunt or whatever like let's be honest you cannot be we're being speciesist first of all suck my dick if you think if you think calling hillary clinton a cunt is is uh like misogynist like i i she's destroyed so many lives she yes she is a net negative for for feminism yeah like whatever good ideas she might have had and even then like it's it's super vague like her involvement in feminism her involvement in like the anti-war um like movement in the 60s it was all super

like like maybe like they recorded her um speaking at her um like at her graduation ceremony yes and that like okay governor or something who came in and was like yeah did nice job ladies exactly like okay go be receptionist now with your fucking fancy degrees and then fuck that guy too but she delivered some rebuttal yeah no fuck him but then she delivered some like tepid rebuttal to that uh in uh ensuing speech but like the funniest thing about the hillary early years that they they kind of gloss over they're like yeah i just you know i was head of the uh republican student organization yeah yeah i found myself leading that thing and then i was like um no i'm a democrat now and actually i love mlk and like you know it was a part of all of these all of these civil right marches yet this is suspicious absence of any

photos of her footage yeah nothing no like, yeah. Nothing. No conniving snake. The thing that got the biggest laugh out of me was when one of the girls is like, yeah, we told our parents we were going to the movies and we went to the march, like to the DNC march in 68. It's like you were living on campus. You don't need to fucking tell your parents.

You could very easily lie to, or like say anything else like not tell them they don't need to know they're not gonna fucking find you on the news like what happens if you lie to them like you tell them okay you go to the movies and then you fucking get shot by a police officer like you fucking can't state like what does it matter the amount of times i lied to my parents about going somewhere and what i was actually doing was going to the park to like suck dick like if i if i can do it come on come on hill um but wait but just yeah there's no footage of her losing to trump i can't imagine there there is footage yes like what do they say like clearly it's all like canned like you know semi-scripted you know but like what

what what is their take on why she lost in in that moment what did she do they were like yeah we won the popular vote and it was like uh and they went something like yeah like oh my god i can't believe it like that that fucking misogynist piece of shit like i can't believe that he would uh do something like that or or like that he could win this i can't believe that trump would do something like that or like that he could win this election. I can't believe that Trump would go to Wisconsin. Yeah, exactly. And like they completely gloss over like all the, you know, all the shit that they didn't do to win.

Like when very obviously like they should have done that. Right. anybody with like three neurons to rub together, like you or me, like you or I, like could possibly fucking see that they just didn't have, you know, they didn't put into work. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's clear. Well, like speaking of elections, we've got one going on now, like very shamefully, like we should have fucking canned all of them like the primary is happening today what's happening today illinois florida ohio where else do you know

uh ohio illinois uh you already said that i think that's it uh no there's no ohio georgia kentucky louisiana louisiana are those all today i think those are all today except for um louisiana which uh postponed it and so did um oh arizona was today as well i think yeah arizona as well that's correct i think i don't know yeah okay well we can we can edit this later to make it sound more coherent it doesn't really matter like we don't have to be right about this go look it up like this is coming out tonight. Yeah, yeah, true. This Tuesday night.

You probably already know when it's going to happen. Don't yell at us. Well, I know that Illinois is voting today with, like, the – I mean, like, all of these elections are happening, you know, in a flagrant disregard for what every health organization has said, which is, like, do not come. All those dumb ass boomers and gen xers that are absolutely getting fucking coronavirus yeah like do not congregate in groups of like 50 or more it's like okay well yeah maybe in a perfect democracy you would never have to be in a 50 person line to vote but like are you fucking kidding me you kidding me and like who who was that in illinois like there was like they had some infighting oh yeah yeah like the the cook county like democrats uh like yell or not yell that but like very strongly uh like denounced governor pritzker like like not uh delaying the the

primary or not like and you know, letting people vote by mail more. Yeah. Yeah. I think the fucking Bernie campaign should have got ahead of this and encourage people, one, not to vote and to say, two, all of the results are legitimate. That's what they should have fucking done. Yes. First of all, this.

The Bernie campaign pulled this really stupid line where it's like, you know, we respect everyone's right to not go vote or to go vote and look at the no motherfucker like no fucking say no we're not gonna have anyone to go fucking vote and we're gonna stall it they're gonna fucking stall it because like one this is gonna kill people and two that just makes more sense in the strategic long term because like like if coronavirus is gonna do anything we hope that it proves bernie's central thesis and that like we are all responsible for each other like if yeah if like you can't see that through like a um economic tie to each other you fucking should see it through a virus infecting all of us um that's right aids and hpv he should have he should have fucking you know he said we need

to cancel this we need to shut down all elections until we figure out what the hell is going on no that's what trump absolutely yeah when he cancels it and you know what he would be right he would absolutely be right because like this this thing like with coronavirus is like the people that are going to vote right now are not young people, right? No. Young people are notorious for, you know, first of all, not showing symptoms, right? Yeah, they don't fucking vote first of all. Yeah, they also don't vote.

But also like all those old people that are going, like you see these posts like of people on Twitter, like you've been seeing these all day probably. Where it's like, you know, older people who are like, yeah, I'm voting for Biden, even though I have COPD or like. I have not seen that. That's insane. There was this like one black lady who, like, God bless her heart, was voting for Sanders and like just completely like kitted out in like latex, which is very hot but b very sad because like she had like going to vote in a gimp suit well yeah covered in oil so no one can touch me yeah exactly it'll be me on the streets of new york in a couple days so insane so fucking crazy no but i mean i hope that's you in new york that would be hot at the very least like corona is like forcing the dnc to like encourage their base

to commit mass suicide so they can vote for joe biden and stop bernie like yeah well look at it this way um a year from now or during the midterms we might be able to you know turn much more progressive the party because all these people that which sucks like i don't probably gonna be dead i don't want them to die all of the like boomer like uh when people are like oh it's gonna be so cool and all the boomers die then we'll then we'll be fine it's like no this could be so fucked i'm not saying it's a net good by the way yeah these are people's like nanas and and gamgams and and grandpas and so on and um you know we don't want them to die we want them to have fucking free health care that's

yeah and also like it's not even just like people over 60 i think they're fucking lying about only old people dying it's like 40 and up that are at risk there was a 32 year old who died yeah if we don't stop it for them it's gonna fucking hurt us too so like stop saying you want boomers to die it's not funny and it's not really like it's at the end of the day it's not an us versus them like all of us are affected by this uh whether or not you like it uh or you know whether or not like they're racist or or sexist or old or or conservative or progressive like fucking it's gonna kill people but like young young people are the only ones acknowledging that like like we won't see a big youth turnout because like one like we said young

people don't go to vote but then two like we're the only ones who are like taking this semi-seriously like okay because it's a fucking existential threat you know if not the virus then like for sure um like climate change or you know that, you know, neither of us would be able to get out of, you know, still. Because of, you know, Joseph Robinette Biden II. Robinette. That's a faggot name. That's such a faggot name. He, like, absolutely sucked at least one penis.

Like, what are the odds? Oh, my God. He probably sucked a dick last week accidentally because he has no god i know awful but you know pete's pete's full name was peter paul montgomery buddha judge did you know that yes i did and i'm so on i'm so upset it's like it's a very upsetting name it's like that's not even like gay like what even what the fuck's going on there he like he didn't like you know how people say like oh being gay is not a choice like it's you're born like this pete budaj made that choice yeah he chose

to be gay he like weighed the pros and cons and was like yeah there's no girl that's ever gonna let me fuck i need a partner to get into polytech so it has to be a partner yeah um who knows i think i think you know contrary to popular opinion people love to say pete's like a fake gay guy they're like no pete is just pete is a real gay guy who you know his his levels for like you know backbiting bloodthirsty careerism and like deviousness that are inherent in all gay men those are just turned all the way up and his horniness is just turned all the way down yeah like when god was making gay pete he just like really fucked up the levels there oh yeah he's like the least horny most conniving gay guy and most of us are just like pretty horny and like pretty conniving yeah we strike a good balance you know yeah but not pete yeah pete's going to hell it's fine yeah that was the danger of pete but i'm glad

he dropped out but of course he did so like cynically and clearly calculated it should have done so after super Tuesday, of course. So you can be Joe Biden's VP. Yeah, so you could be Joe Biden. Yeah. His female vice president that he committed to on live television. The first drag queen president. Miss Pete, welcome to the White House.

Yas, mama. Yas, queen. Yas, queen. Oh, he is going to Dr. Miami, and he's getting the biggest ass he can find. Oh, my God, yeah. And he's getting, like, that, not Timmy Thicke, but, like, there's an English version of Timmy Thicke who's, like. Oh, I've seen him. Yeah. Yes.

Yeah. That's a tier one freak right there. Yeah. I can see Pete being such a, like, cynic that heic that he would transition so he could be the first woman VP. He is faggot Ray Dolezal. Or Ray Dolezal. Ray. Rachel.

He is faggot Rachel Dolezal. Yeah. Yeah. No, Pete would transition so he could become the first VP and then springboard off that into being the first woman president. First trans woman president. Oh, like Charlotte Clymer? Well, Charlotte.

Insane, insane Charlotte. I fucking hate her so much. I don't even know what to say about her. I blocked her because she was so fucking annoying. I don't know how she hasn't blocked me. I've sent her so many death threats. It can't possibly be that she hasn't seen them.

You're going to get banned again. But I guess you've been banned so many times. It's like, whatever. It's like a soft kiss on the cheek for you. Yeah, I don't mind it. I relish it. It's like, okay, I caused someone pain. Measurable pain.

And that is enough for me. I mean, I've been banned a couple times always for like stupid stuff but like i've had friends who were banned for my friend got banned and and also a complimentary visit from that uh secret service for tweeting i will kill obama and then shortly after that tweeting i'm going to bite god and like it's just like a sweet like horse girl from like you know harvada colorado and the secret service paid her a visit and i'm like are you kidding me like why is the secret service like why are you uh spending your time visiting people who want to kill a president like that's the most normal thing you could be doing is like threatening a

president's life online like honestly visit people who haven't threatened a president's life you're not threatening someone's life online like you are not you're not using it no also like you're not using online to its full potential online was made for pornography i mean sorry tim berners-lee for this but like online was made for pornography and threatening people's lives. Yeah, exactly. And like mocking celebrities. Absolutely. They'll see it. And like with Corona, it's been really funny to see

celebrities post all these pictures of themselves. Clearly in an insanely secure place. They probably will not come into any contact with the virus. I hope you stay safe. Everyone stay safe out there. I can't wait for the video we get from like kylie jenner and her like luxe like bunker like inside of a fucking mountain somewhere and she's like stay safe everyone like i hope everyone can like i hope everyone's alive to buy my new lipstick launch in a week.

That is going to be so fucking cool when they are just in Mars wishing us the best. Oh my god. She's demon incarnate, but also Gigi Hadid and the rest of that family. Did they make any...

No, but I'm waiting for it. I'm ready for it. If they want us to fucking die, the Hadeeds probably just don't even fucking care about us. You know, I'd rather, like, not have a fucking well wish. Because, like, then I wouldn't have to think about them, like, being secure in, like, a New Zealand bunker. Like, in the fucking Hobbit houses in fucking New Zealand. houses in fucking new zealand uh just like you know conveniently waiting out until you know president g nukes america in six months i'd be fine with the hadids repopulating the human race i don't know about the kardashians i mean all armenians you know i don't know any armenians

but i i do armenians are nice but their noses are too big i don't know any Armenians. I do. Armenians are nice, but their noses are too big. Oh, I love big noses. Let them repopulate. But I don't know. In that case. What billionaires, what celebs can we trust to like fruitfully repopulate? I mean, I've seen all the ads. Probably Michael Bloomberg won.

Jeffrey Epstein. Rest in peace, my boy. He tried. Yeah. Well, he was the one who was serious about it and you have to respect that yeah i mean yeah bezos who the fuck wants no no everyone's gonna be bald like at at 40 like if he's like in charge of the genetics um what peter teal can't because he's gay is he gay yeah peter teal's gay you don't know that that's that's why you remember gawker yeah i do that's why gawker got fucking ran off the internet is because they they outed peter teal

and then he i didn't know they outed him holy shit yeah gawker outed peter teal and then he... I didn't know they outed him. Holy shit. Yeah, Gawker outed Peter Thiel. And then he contracted this law firm to just, like, sue them. And then, like... Lost. I remember they lost first. But, like, the lawyer, like, employed this, like, new tactic where they would, like, slightly change the, like, charges that they were levying. So they could, like, basically just keep the lawsuit not litigated and just suck gawker dry for money there's a good like a new legal tactic to like put a um a journalist like a fucking blog out of business and peter till employed it because they outed him and it's like are you fucking

kidding me like you can't out you can't out a billionaire yeah a billionaire zero consequences of being gay like the only reason a billionaire zero consequences of being gay like the only reason a billionaire would be in the closet like the only reason like a gay billionaire would be in the closet is because they like don't have to face any public pressure for them to like uh give money to like lgbtq organizations or anything like they want to be as least marginalized as possible because for some sick reason people think that that you know ups their stake in society when like all these people regardless of whatever their identity may be like deserve us we deserve their heads on a platter well yeah um yeah yeah pierce hill gay also um like in a bad way in a derogatory way, but gay. Yeah.

Stay tuned. He will be launching the gay Epstein Island soon enough. Oh, God. I fucking... Just what our beautiful community needed. I'll probably buy Fire Island

and turn it into some cat-o-orgy. Sicko. yes actually buy fire island and turn into some catawarchy sicko anyways he probably yeah he'd probably cheap out and go for like uh queensborough or whatever that little island between the east river um that's like a super fun site um but yeah i don't know who we don't know which billionaire is going to repopulate the human race after Corona decimates all of us. But let's just hope it's a cool one. Oh, boy. I can't wait for a cool billionaire to repopulate the Earth.

Just let the Hadees do incest to repopulate it that'd be totally i'd be fine with it they're fine they're hot they're hot they're cool they have good style i mean have you you know what have you seen they were hot before they got work done yeah they were hot before they got worked on and also have you seen their brother who's had no work done no he's really hot no way oh yeah on war hadid is really hot oh and like so is rob rob kardashian is total babe i love rob kardashian okay anwar hadid what's up anwar he's hot yeah hey hey baby okay holla he's dating um dua lipa let all right that child fucking repopulate. Okay, I'm down with that.

Kill me if that's what has to happen. Yeah, I would willingly take the bullet. I'll martyr my life so we have an En War Dua crossover. No, no, no. I will walk to the fucking extermination camps

to make that happen. I will walk into the fucking extermination camps to make that happen yeah i will walk into the the you know the the mass murder pit and i will you know hold hold the gun to my head and pull the trigger they're off let them do it yeah well dualipa is albanian and she's part of the funny zone have you heard about that dualipa is albanian is that what that name is i thought that name was just like made up i'm pretty sure she's albanian i might have it backwards and there might be like another albanian that would make sense she looks like pop star because she could be albanian are you checking her now max is max is doing it's doing some race science okay so so she was born in london okay but to albanian parents okay so she's albanian

she's albanian yeah her music has kind of she is fine oh it was never there honey i mean actually i shouldn't say anything because i i don't like pop music but i liked the first like three big releases from uh dupa lupa as we affectionately call her um yeah hot letter letter repopulate the rays um so you would break a for her yeah i mean kind of i would break it for like any celebrity probably just for the fun just so i could say like yeah i fucked like that'd be hilarious but like for no i'd like much rather like just like be your friend like i'd much rather just like you know let her carry me around in like a little purse like a chihuahua oh god that would rock just like that'd be amazing in the arms of albanians mean, what do you think about the fact that coronavirus is like maybe like a Clinton conspiracy? To kill people.

It's an analog, right? Like coronavirus is a weapon of the people, right? Clinton has her own kill list, you know, like Seth Rich, that other guy from the 90s that was in the documentary a lot. And who knows who else? Jeffrey Epstein, etc. Right i i have my own kill list when i was sick and i thought i had coronavirus i formulated my own kill list um of people that i would travel you know now that air fare is cheap i would travel to where they are and i would spit on them like and i would like wipe it into their tear ducts and you know um game over shut

the fuck up go back to the lobby yeah send them straight to hell yeah i don't know i don't have well i guess i would i've never written number one jack dorsey number two charlotte climber the list goes on uh if you want to hear the rest of the kill list head over to our patreon um the next episode is an hour long it is just it's a solo max episode of reading yeah it's gonna be like a fucking bath party 1979 boogaloo just like uh yeah well i don't know what that is don't okay well that'll be that'll be my little secret uh listener listener you and i we both know uh what's going on i i can i'm very happy to uh remain uh innocent to like like half of your reference well okay uh the reason why i have

like such terrible and obtuse references is like I spent literally a year in college, like not turning in any work and just like reading Wikipedia, like hitting the random page on Wikipedia and like just reading everything. Because there's some on there that are so fucking funny. That's so autistic. Are you autistic? No. No? Are you just gay? No, just very gay.

Autism is brain gay i'm uh i'm sexual all all gay okay yeah okay no but i i can see why people would think uh that yeah yeah no absolutely not kill me if i ever get that um no i i don't i don't have people have speculated that i do as well no i'm like an incredibly normal just normal gay guy being normal and nice yeah uh anyone who ever talks sweet on bernie or or chapo is also on the fucking kill list on the sneeze list just did we say all we wanted to about bernie i'm trying to think i mean not that it really matters we have other smarter people talking about bernie sanders i think we should leave it to them yeah i think we should probably let people down yeah um i want bernie to run third party which he will never do because like a fucking central flaw of bernie to run third party i which he will never do because like a fucking central flaw of bernie is that he like he does he is really concerned with the stupid

that stupid notion of like party unity that has only been deployed to like fuck him over yes he has drank the fucking kool-aid on it sure and he he legitimately thinks that joe biden is an acceptable alternative to trump and it's not like yes it's crazy to me like these people these people when we get to you know the fucking election and it's biden trump of course like do everything you can to make sure that that's not the case but like shaking out to be that way who really knows with corona no clue what's going to happen but if it is biden trump the same exact fucking people who today were encouraging voters to go basically fucking kill themselves to vote for joe biden are going to be the same people they're going to be the same fucking people who are saying oh you know what you've got to go vote for joe biden because he's the greater of two

goods like you fucking people spread a pandemic so you could just elect, you know, some Alzheimer's case as a block burning measure. That's the only reason you're fucking doing it. And you're going to try to tell us to go vote for Joe Biden when you've clearly demonstrated in like the starkest of terms possible that you do not value human rights. Yeah, these people are all fucking psychos and they do not deserve your respect or your vote, especially if they're centrists. Yeah, like, if you want to, and if you get shit on for like, not wanting to vote for Joe Biden in the general election,

okay, then don't. Like, you can write someone in and that person should be Bernie Sanders. Bernie Sanders should be president. Yeah, write in Bernie and vote down ballot for the candidates you like, but don't fucking vote for... Do not.

I will actively say people will be voting for Joe Biden. Fuck Joe Biden. Do not vote for him. And even when it comes to... I don't really like making the case of lesser of two evils because that's, I think, a pretty flawed logic. It's stupid. Who really knows how things are going to fucking pan out but like even to make that case with like biden

trump like are you kidding me you think you think four or eight years of the exact same like tepid bullshit liberalism that did nothing to help working people in this country and is the exact reason why donald trump was elected you think if we re-elect that kind of bullshit that will get anyone better than trump? We won't. You also have to keep in mind, like, Donald Trump didn't do anything that the Democrats haven't already done in the first place. Exactly. You have to, like, look at their track record on immigration, right? Who started putting kids in cages?

Fucking Obama, right? Obama and Biden. Who fucking built them. Yeah. Who started giving rich people tax cuts? The fucking Democrats. Like, and, you know, who started with, you know, well, well, before that big party switch, like in the 1960s, like who are the racist fucking Democrats? Like there are still people still alive who remember, like in the South, like there is that living memory of a Democratic candidate who may have been populist and may have been for the working class, but it would be exclusively for the white working class.

There would be no rhetoric in favor of the poor, black poor, Asian poor, immigrant poor, anyone who wasn't straight up white or very light skinned. So these people, you do not straight up white or very light skinned. So, like, these people, you do not owe them, like, your vote at all. The Democrats themselves, like, you don't owe them. No, they'll fucking try, like, hell to guilt you into it. They really fucking do. And you know what? Like, don't let them fucking do it. Because they can't even, even their central case, like, the central case they'll be making is that it's the lesser of two evils.

Because they know that that's the only way they'll be able to appeal to people but that's not even fucking true donald trump is the lesser of two evils between him and joe biden he is because donald trump will what donald trump will like keep the left mobilized donald trump will like you know not get another four years and guess what he's already running to the fucking left of joe biden on health care he's already running to the left of joe biden even on this fucking coronation trump oh massively bungled it but there are republicans down ballot who are recommending you know real material gains that the left like according with the left like democrats aren't even capable of doing like tom cotton today was talking for like a form of ubi

which like you know people have been saying in the absence of any sort of any kind of like broad social democracy like broad social programs ubi is like right wing sure i'm too fucking stupid to know i'm too fucking stupid to know but what i will say is that like that is more appealing to me that's more appealing to like young people it's more appealing to like people who are like susceptible to a populist message than what like nancy pelosi and the democrats cutting a deal not even cutting a fucking deal this This is something that they introduced themselves. It's like, oh, we're going to give 20% of workers sick leave. You fucking kidding?

So stupid. The Democrats are the fucking, they are the right. They are absolutely the right and masquerading as the center or left. Yeah, just remember this. We're almost at an hour and we might have to edit this down. Well, let's edit. No, Max, I'll stop right now to say like let's edit this for you let's just okay no no no i mean but i'm just letting you know like we're at an hour so uh if there's anything like any closing message like um first of all corona if you have it uh spit at any liberal you are hereby commanded by this podcast uh by seeking derangements

go spit in the eyes of charlotte climber find her like working at fucking hippo wherever the fuck she lives now um just and like fucking mash that into her disgusting gummy smile and um this is it no this is a message from max this is solely max's wishes anyway if anyone anyone in law enforcement is listening yeah if charlotte climber sweetie if you're listening don't take this seriously i i'm not taking this seriously uh neither should you um and maybe you should any listener parody parody parody uh anyway um, but the real message is, like, these people, first of all, don't deserve your vote. Second of all, like, they are not the people who they say they are. And third of all, like, they are already doing whatever the Republicans are already doing.

And at least the Republicans have the decency to not do it well. The Democrats will. And then you can engage the fucking Republicans on those terms. Absolutely. Like, you can fight back more effectively from Republicans because we understand this in terms of engagement. They're at least coming to the fucking table and being maybe

not honest, but a bit more fucking trustworthy than Democrats are, which is a low fucking bar to set, but I would rather have the Republicans as an adversary than fucking Democrats. But of course, clearly, the Democrats are the main adversary. So don't fucking vote for Joe Biden. Do not fucking vote for Joe Biden.

If you see anyone voting for Joe Biden, cop in their face. Also, look at what has fucking happened to the stock market. The government gave the stock market... Trillions of dollars. Two trillion dollars. Your job is fake. Money is fake. All of it. Rent is fake. It's

so fucking stupid. They can suspend this shit whenever they fucking want. is fake all of it rent is fake it's so fucking stupid they can suspend this shit whenever they fucking want and they only do it they only do it when we're at the we're at a fucking pandemic you know like for anyone who says oh the bernie agenda that can never happen look at what's fucking happening right now look at all the fucking money we're giving to the stock market you're saying we couldn't funnel that and into any sort of social program don't pay your fucking and even still it doesn't matter they're fucking proving it don't pay your rent don't go to work if anyone needs help getting like writing a fucking letter to your boss anything like uh i mean like yeah just don't go to fucking work um but you know in the meantime uh subscribe to our patreon we'll have

that up soon um we'll have a free episode in the premium episode both once a week. You can follow us on Twitter before we inevitably get permabanned again. Get suspended. I'm at bitch underscore updates. Max, what's your current handle? Just look for Palma. Wherever there's trouble, I'm probably going to be there. Wherever a Paul Sheen's life is being threatened uh max will be nearby um yeah i mean that that is all from from me thank you all so much for listening uh max yeah well also i want

to end this by uh by giving a shout out to our big boy will menaker thank you very much for uh believing in us and two little gay boys uh with one big dream and uh big thanks to everyone else who uh asked for a podcast asked ben for a podcast and not me uh big shout out to you assholes um no just kidding it's all love love love you uh ben you got a shout out to give out? No. Thank you. Love you all. That's awesome. Bye. I love you. My love My love My love I want the friendship of a gentle dog

I want a network for my rest There, in the place where I was born You'll have to be very nice to me My brother I I I I I I I I

I I I I I I I want a bottle of coconut water And in life, to know very little I want the eyes of my window And have many children with it There, the place where I will live

Where I go to live It will have to be Come to me My sea My sea My sea I want to see the world My love I want to see the world that is being created I want to see my God come back one day

There, where I can be Lá no lugar donde eu forçar Vai ver que sei bem que eu vou Meu amor Meu amor Meu amor My hand My hand My hand My hand So I will see My God, for me

The peace of a brother And a mother, I will not violate you So I will see my God With the peace of a brother, I will not violate you I'm a violinist So I'll see My God Father, brother I'm a violinist Thank you.