Seeking Derangements - "fitskjhcworkdathogn"- President Joe Biden

Episode Date: March 7, 2022

We talk about the state of the union, Ben gives a review of modafinil (the hillary upper), Jacques gives us a travel report from Oklahoma, Ben and Jacques get into an argument about cajun mardi gras

I only wait for you to know who did it. Period. Out there. Every single time. So look, all I'm saying here is, guys and ladies, we're at the same exact pace. The same exact pace. We talked about closing the racial lockdown.

That's the single biggest thing I want to get done. It's those ultimate equalizers, no matter what else happens. Because I plan on spending over $15 billion to provide for opportunity for young black entrepreneurs to get them off the ground. Black farmers to be able to own their own power. Young people being able to get their 15,000 bucks down payment on a home. Making sure they have an opportunity to gain wealth to give you all the rest of this unless the black community is able to make up the black gap This country is made for you.

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of Seeking Arrangements. Today we're going to talk... Hello everyone. We're going to open... We're going to talk about the State of the Union, everyone. The most sought-after event of the week. Of the history of the world. Sorry, State of the Union? Of the history of the world. The State of the of the week of the history of the world the state of the union I'd rather listen to the enema of state

by Blink-182 a classic album and that's on period okay also before we even start this Ben had suggested to me and Hessa that we should possibly watch this Ben never hard said we're gonna watch this and go for this I just that we should possibly watch this. Ben Neverhard said, we're going to watch this and go I just said we should talk about it.

Me and Hessa are studying deep YouTube, like cracked out, like trying to figure out. Biden's like shaking and could barely keep one of his eyes from blinking. He's constantly winking at the audience. He's got a boner for every fucking younger than

something. Yeah,acques and i watched the whole thing um and ben the person who probably would be able to say the most about it i literally i watched it live on twitter when it was happening and i was just like i had like a complete meltdown because just watching these decrepit, like demented old freaks. I mean, like I was thinking like they have been in charge for like my entire like as long as I've known what politics are and like I've known what elected officials are like I have. They have been in charge like Nancy Pelosi has been there for so fucking long. She's how many years you would guess she's been in the government scene oh she's 82 she's 82 years old and she is sundowning constantly she looks like a junji ito drawing the entire state of the union she looks like a mangled old chihuahua it's like a chihuahua

who is somehow at least like lived to be like 20 she looked bad um biden looked worse there was some biden's eyes are doing that thing where they squint closer and tinier together like the like the tiny like right before you die your your vision gets very black and then yeah biden's vision is constantly doing you know like in movies when like uh characters like waking up and they show up from that person's point of view where a character is dying you just see like a closing closing closing like slit of a vision like that's what biden constantly sees um like death eyes he's constantly looking between the tiniest slit in his eyelids yeah it looks like someone photoshopped mouths to replace his eyes.

Yeah. It's really horrifying. That and they're like black. Yeah. They're like. Exactly. There's no. You can't see.

He has blue eyes, but you cannot see them. No, it's like pits of evil. Yeah, pits of evil. Also, he's constantly turning left and right, back and forth, because he cannot choose which teleprompter to read from, which is like, if you do that correctly, it's constantly turning left and right, back and forth, because he cannot choose which teleprompter to read from. Which is like, if you do that correctly, it's very natural. And you're turning towards the audience on this way, and then you turn to the other side of the audience and address them.

But he's doing it like a schizophrenic person on the subway trying to make sure he doesn't get caught pissing by the cops. No, literally. Literally. They need to do something to catch his attention to one teleprompter they should put like a uh like a wig on one of the teleprompters they need him to look at they should just like put a little wig on it and like a little girl's dress beneath it and then he'll like

this is gonna sound fucked up but i mean if they wanted to look at the teleprompter more they should just put pictures of his nieces on there that's what i'm saying yeah they should they can just move the pictures i mean just by the way he kisses them yeah exactly he tried to hump the teleprompter at one point he was just like i literally watched it for two minutes and then like had a complete meltdown um but at one point he tried to say the phrase freedom loving nations and he was like free yeah he could barely speak through this entire thing no he can hardly ever speak and it's funny because like when he stumbles it sounds like he's speaking in reverse yeah it's it's incredible it's funny because like when he stumbles, it sounds like he's speaking in reverse. Yeah, it's incredible.

It's like a Twin Peaks dream sequence. You know the Missy Elliott song? Jock, what's a Missy Elliott song where she goes rat-a-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta? No, the chorus is in reverse. Oh. You're someone I've never known? Yep. Oh, that's Work It.

Work It. Yeah. Yeah, she's work it. Work it. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, yeah, that's what Biden sounds like constantly. He's saying, he's saying, put my thing down, flip it and reverse it. But he's saying, let's give him a break. He's dyslexic. So of course he's going to read it backwards.

I know it's, it's actually funny you say that because for so long the reason why the excuse from the Biden campaign and the excuse from the White House as to why Biden so clearly cannot speak properly or coherently they've said that this is actually a result of a childhood stutter

that has gone you know unmedicated or you know has not been fixed throughout his life. I know people with stutters. That's no fucking stutter. It's old age decrepit bullshit. That's bullshit. That's not how people stutter. When people stutter, they stutter. They don't

speak in tongues. That's not a stutter. There's one part where they said the Iranians will not be back down into scaring. I'm so fucked up. I know it's like, it's just when you actually, I think everyone has like an ambient sense of like, yeah, Biden's really old and you know, he's, he's maybe not all there,

but when you actually see him talk, You know, he's maybe not all there, but when you actually see him talk, it's so obvious and it is so arresting that he is clearly suffering a massive mental decline that it is just, it's shocking. It is shocking that he is actually our president and can barely function. It's like upsetting. It's upsetting. It's upsetting. it's like upsetting it's upsetting it's upsetting it's very disturbing because even in in most situations even george bush jr seems to have more mental competence than well george bush was just he was just retarded and had like wet brain from alcoholism yeah see the thing of the difference between the two is at least he was a functioning alcoholic biden's a non-functioning uh old person

i was gonna say okay did you there was a uh if he wait wait a non-functioning old person. I was going to say, okay, did you, there was a. If he, wait, wait, one question before. I'm sorry to interrupt. No, no. This is really important. If Biden had not won the election, would he have been put into an old folks home? Probably. I don't think so.

I think he should have been. He should have been like 10 years ago. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think he would have been put into an old folks home he probably would have just continued being like a senator and like or they just put the stunt double in at this point well i was gonna say do you think he has a body do you think they have a body double waiting in the wings i mean the eye is the eye thing it makes it look like it's someone wearing a rubber mask. Like a rubber Biden mask.

They tried cloning him, but the clone just immediately realized who he was and jumped off the top of the nearest building. There was one point where Biden said the sentence, he said, I have bought more pills than anyone in the world. Oh my god. he was talking about like health care or something but this green this green grab of it was so funny okay he also during the

health care part he says one in 10 americans has diabetes which is an insane statistic is it true that i think he must be right he He said it. He's also said, him with numbers are really, he's also some really insane shit with statistics. Yeah, because he said that he's gonna, he wants to cap all insulin at $35 across the United States, which I'm sure is a price reduction from some insurance companies.

He also mentions immediately after that the pharmaceutical companies would still make their money. It's a great profit margin. Yeah. Like, if you care about people with diabetes, you give them insulin for free. Yeah. Period.

There's no discussion about it. Of course. Of course. And then also, right immediately after, he says, and we need to start allowing Medicare to dictate the prices of prescription drugs, which is like, okay, that's still,

even if Medicare is dictating the price of prescription drugs, they're still going to be expensive as fuck and exploited. I mean, it's not like the Medicare is not controlled by the government, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It's,

um, like he, the insulin thing is so funny. Cause it's like, he was like, um, I mean, it's horrifying, but also it so funny because it's like he was like I mean it's horrifying but also it's funny because It's like he's on Shark Tank and he's like Look Jack you can still get the profit margin this point if you do $35 totally totally

You make it for $10 of our we sell for 35 look you make it for ten dollars a vial we sell for 35 that's that's it's the process he is so hard to understand he like he doesn't i realize this like listening to biden like he doesn't speak in sentences because he's he's slurring so much he he more like speaks in just like one long word. Yeah, like a William Faulkner book. You'll have a sentence that's five pages long. No, totally.

Biden is living a nonlinear existence. Very, what's the word? Free form. Yeah, or stream of form yeah yeah or stream of consciousness yeah stream of consciousness yeah totally free jazz no free jazz joe biden is like the kind of character that would be written in like a burrow like a william s burroughs book when like a burroughs character is like having a hallucination about who, what the president is like, you know, exactly. It's a very human consciousness, very like cut copy.

Um, but there, I remember like seeing Nancy, Nick nightmare. Yeah. Yeah. We can get into like, I want to talk specifically about Nancy Pelosi's behavior during the state of

the union. Yeah. She was acting so tweaked out at the beginning, the way she banged that gavel. I didn't wait did she bang the gavel okay y'all can't see this but the way her wrist like like it was like there's no bones in her wrist she's slapping that thing as hard as she could it's like when you hold up a pencil and do the illusion where it's made of rubber like if you had if you had the smallest twink have to lift up the limp wrist syndrome

and smash the cap. Also, we could get back to it, but there is a clear part that is forgot to be talking about. The interpreter, the... Sign language interpreter. Sign language interpreter has more emotions

recreating and translating the speech than Biden has his entire career. Oh, my video didn't have an interpreter. I wish I watched one with one. It was just jocks. It's a jock interpreter. It was just the most enthusiastic interpreter for the most boring droll thing. She's waving her hands around. She's smiling. She's frowning. She she's smiling she's frowning she's smiling she's frowning yeah it'd be i mean imagine having to make biden's like

incoherent like to take the insane things biden says that are incoherent and try to make them coherent through while using sign language it'd be like it'd be a very tough job it would seem difficult like sign language interpreters have like it'd be a very tough job it would seem difficult like sign language interpreters have gotten really enthusiastic they've gotten pretty like epic um yeah i remember like kendrick lamar had one on his tour and like there were so many like memes and articles and be like kendrick lamar is hip-hop interpreter do you remember when nelson mandela i think it was Mandela's funeral, when they had an interpreter

who was translating the eulogy, and then deaf people were like, this person isn't speaking sign language. They're just making random gestures. Like, what the fuck? That happens pretty often. I would be so pissed off if that ever happened in any situation I was involved in.

Yeah. Oh, like if it was your funeral and someone lied about being an interpreter? Yeah. And some guy's just like sticking his middle fingers up in the air. Doing the jack off motion. Yeah. He's just like putting his open hand into the finger like it's fucking. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's funny because i you you can see the videos uh because people get busted on this a lot like there's there was one woman who serially um pretended to be a sign language interpreter i was doing it for like small town

officials throughout like the midwest um and if you look at the videos of her doing it it is so she looks like she's voguing it looks like she's on like rupaul it looks like she was a reject of like rupaul's drag race it's like i love that and it's so she was on dragula yeah yeah but um no so nancy pelosi during this i think she had a few standout moments miss nancy um the first thing i noticed about her is that like she her vision clearly not fixed on a single object like she did not have fixed vision the entire time she has like a thousand yard stare a thousand yard stare the entire time and i was like this i remember getting mad because i was like she's not even looking at anything she can't even look at a thing right now and she is like immensely immensely powerful she's fucking sundowning and then she she did that thing with her hands

did you see that where she oh yeah that was was where she looked like someone on Molly trying to entertain a kid's birthday party and doing the itsy bitsy spider. Like, yes. She looked like just like it's what a fly does when it lands on shit. It's like rubbing the hands together. Literally. It was during an applause line and she's stood up. She does not look with it at all. Her eyes are fucking wonky.

And then she rubs her, she rubs her fists together. And then the applause stops. She's still standing, still rubbing her fists together. And then she, she sits back down like a kid who's been chastised. No,

I don't even, is she, I think she might be the only one that stands up. Like, yeah, it's an applause line, but it was not an ovation. You know, it was like, people in Iraq, they're bombed and they're chemicals. And I'm just like, Bob is like, we bombed, and the bombs in our heads.

And then she like sat up and started rubbing her hands together. You got to consider this, though. hands together you gotta you gotta consider this though these politicians are probably beyond just being elderly and completely brain olded done exactly i don't know how to say it yeah all-timer dementia whatever they are prescribed probably imagine i could not nancy plows is probably on adderall at the same time as heart medicine if she if she if you like shook her a little bit and sound like a rattlesnake and biden too because you know it's like also they're probably having to give him drugs that are conflicting with his with his they're on bath salts they are on the drugs are probably they're on meth they're probably on counteractive

drugs drugs to treat their old disease and then drugs that are just given to the government people to make them better leaders and it doesn't add up yeah you can't give someone a brain medicine and then give them like another brain medicine they expect them to work well okay this is a slight digression but i did modafinil which was the um drug hillary clinton did during her 2020 run she there i think this is leaked through her emails but one of her her favorite snacks was a whole raw jalapeno and she it'll be also yes she would eat an entire whole raw jalapeno because it like helped not i mean it seems like something you would she would absolutely eat but she was like it helps my immune system which would actually be true and you know kind of would kind of wake you

up a little bit i completely believe it i eat peppers or drink hot sauce before the meeting sometimes to wake myself up yeah I don't have caffeine. It's weird, but I understand how that would work. But she also did modafinil, and I did it. My friend Sam gave me a modafinil. And within an hour, I was in a fight with my friend, and I called her a cop because she was talking about how she wanted to prosecute bestiality. Ben's always defending bestiality immediately got into like the most it took the most insane position on something

for like no reason i love thinking like the reason why hitlery like called people like deplorables or like did though i'm just chilling in cedar rapids or pokemon go to the polls yeah she did that because she was smacked because she was high wait what is modafinil yeah what kind of drug is that it is it's she it was she was prescribed modafinil um due to narcolepsy oh my god i know but it's it's an upper it's like adderall okay cool it was not it was not that crazy it's so weird that how many people i know who have narcolepsy or prescribed adderall or stuff like that or g a lot of people who have narcolepsy are prescribed g like ghb yes and i don't believe that i cannot believe it's true i have a friend i have a friend who has narcolepsy and she's prescribed ghb i feel like and no offense

to whatever friend you're talking about, and I feel like I know who, this person clearly does not have narcolepsy. You don't know them. I'm just going to text you which person I think it is. I know who this is and I know this person does not know you. I'm telling you this person. It's Biden. It's Biden.

No, but it was so funny to me and honestly i beast jelly shouldn't be prosecuted yeah yeah let's get into it let's get into it no um well it was it was about this girl who she was like 20 and she a friend was talking about this because he had a weird connection to this girl and she did the she put peanut butter on her pussy and the dog licked her pussy but she was dog sitting and the reason she was found out is because the owner of that dog had a furbo which is a camera and the owner of the dog saw that this dog sitter who was the girl who was arrested for bestiality did the peanut butter thing and this girl was like this girl was like 20 there are daily mail articles she was prosecuted her life was destroyed and i was kind of like that girl is clearly incredibly mentally ill

yeah you know and the solution here is to not like destroy her life and honestly if i'm really that dog had the best day of its fucking life okay that dog had an amazing day dogs love to stick their faces in crotches and we've probably all had a dog stick its face in our crotch it's disgusting i'm just saying dogs also like peanut butter those two things in one that dog has that dog is actually the only reason that's bad to do a dog is that that dog is probably now depressed because nothing that good will ever happen to it again in its life it's like when like when people watched avatar and killed themselves because they wanted to be so we so we had this one high school principal who who would carry his little petite dog everywhere he went every

official school meeting chapel whatever and he always had a big jar like a we carry it to swamp lessons church he would he would literally carry around this giant, giant jar, Costco-sized jar of peanut butter, and he would always close his office doors for long amounts of time. And all the students are like, that dude is totally fucking that dog with the peanut butter or something. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

If you want to have a humane approach to bestiality in which the offenders do not have their lives destroyed. Sorry. If you want to have a humane approach to bestiality. I'm solving this problem in an abolitionist way. What you do here is you don't prosecute bestiality you and dogs don't have to be abused the solution is you just make peanut butter a controlled substance this is like when i said on twitter that lube should be a controlled substance it's a scheduled one narcotic yeah

okay so the time that i tweeted that lube should be a controlled substance was um were you called homophobic well the thing that happened was um a woman was like this was like years ago and like a woman was like the main character of the day because she had tweeted something like um oh has anyone ever ever thought about how if a woman isn't wet, then she doesn't want it? So lube is kind of inherently a rape-like thing. People were accusing people of using lube of being a rapist. Yeah, yeah. She was like, if you have to use lube, then you're a rapist.

Sorry. I'm sorry, but some girls have dry pussies. And also gay men. Gay men have the driest pussies. Yeah. And yeah, I was younger. I would have sex all the time without lube and it was fine. Well, I replied to her and I was like yeah i think um you should need a

prescription to buy lube um and then i got you should need a permit yeah i got ravaged ravaged by the gay community and then um and that's why hessa got off the internet for a week well yeah i was like um someone was like wow this is so homophobic and so transphobic and i was like i'm trans lol i'm trans i used to be homo don't fuck with me and then um they were like well sorry i didn't realize because you're so fucking pretty you i fucking hate you i was like okay and then you have and then you're there's no fucking winning in that situation and then you get controlled of having like a passing privilege. Exactly.

Yeah. Cause you're not ugly. Yeah. Wait, is that something that you really get yelled at often though? Like, cause you're pretty, that's so fucked up.

That's stupid. I've seen it, but it's not, it's not something that I don't think that happens in the wild. I think it's truly just like demented Twitter users. It's's just like people that you know are feeling bad about themselves see like a trans girl that they think is prettier than them like tweeting and it's it's happened to me too for sure like see a trans girl they think is prettier than them like cheating about dysphoria or something and then like they go like if you shouldn't be allowed to talk about

this if you're not if you're pretty like i mean i'm offended when i see twinks or skinny people and that's because they're they're they're a testament against me yeah same i don't i'm not i'm not a bitter hater i love all people literally ben's license underneath organ donor says bitter hater no so i don't even know why he's trying to fucking hide it a guy walks by ben who's like six foot eight and ben like punches a wall um okay what if biden what if you, when Biden stumbles, you know, when he says a word that lasts for two minutes, what if you, and it sounds like he's speaking in reverse. What if he, what if he played that forward and he was like, and the twink, the twink should control substance. There's all these insane masks. he's delivering he's delivering a message to his real constituency to the to the global elite i stand troy sivan if you play the inauguration back or if you play the state of the union

address backwards it actually is the full pop 2 album by charlie x which is so crazy it was like the coolest easter egg you could find if you play it backwards you hear biden say um fuck you non-binary people owe us androgyny yeah and i'm coming to collect and i'm coming to collect we should have a wrestler for president we should have a wrestler for president. We should have a wrestler for president? Yeah. I mean, imagine the way that The Rock or any of the wrestlers. Well, The Rock has said that he wants to be. Well, I'm just talking all the people, all those wrestler guys, they're always like,

I want you to get here now. Yeah. China, you don't get a chance. Trump is kind of a wrestler. Trump was midway between wrestler and drag queen. Oh, I agree. Yeah. I mean, all drag queens are kind of wrestlers in a way.

And vice versa. They wrestle with gender. Oh my god. And so do wrestlers. That's such a like Duke U queer queer studies thing to be like is wrestling drag i mean interrogating interrogating the gender presentation in ww no of course of course yeah it's so gay it's incredibly i went to a wrestling match um oh in atlantic city no in um new york in No, in New York. WWF? I think it was Raw or something. Oh, my God.

That's so raw. Smackdown. Smackdown. Yeah. It was really fun. It was funny. I had a great time. They have wrestling ring matches in Atlantic City where it's not Raw.

It's not raw it's not wwe it's like more amateur but they use like actual they actually like try to kill each other like they use like barbed wire and broken glass like none of it is like none of it is stage glass it's real glass they actually hit each other with chairs my roommate goes and i really want to like check it out because the culture seems really cool oh i yeah this this one it was really funny because it was that um i forgot what the arena was called but it was like far outside of new york it was like hard to get to the murder arena the blood yeah and um i got there with my friend um and um who invited me and graciously bought me a ticket and because they thought it would be funny for me to go with them so i got like it's intense

and like went and um we went in and this guy was like giving us the VIP treatment. We were late. So there was no one there. What is the VIP treatment? Well, he was like, come this way. I need to know the VIP. Do you guys want some beers? I'll grab you a couple beers. And we were like, sure.

They had warm beers waiting for us. Well, he gave us beers. Unlimited nacho cheese. I'm not kidding. We got like pint glasses of beer. And then they were like, okay, that'll be $60.

I was like, oh my God. Wait, I thought it was free when you offered it to me. That's why you sneak in a flask, babe. $60.

They got our ass. $30 for a pint of beer. So years ago, when I went to jail, they moved me from the bottom floor of general population to the top floor, which is the medical pod, which had all the old people.

The medical pod? Yeah. It's at the top story of the Lafayette prison. I mean, jail. I mean, and it's the medical people, the young people, and the really old people, and the stupid ones.

Really stupid. Jock referenced it. Jock pointed at himself when he said stupid ones. And one of the really stupid guys was a dedicated, diehard WWF, WWE, Raw fan. Just all constantly always going on about it. He's talking about how he spent months trying to sign up to be the person that they hit at the beginning of the game with a real metal chair so if you're a fan of the series and you're a super fan you're competing with about a thousand five thousand other fans eagerly trying to compete

to be the person that gets to sign up to be hit with a metal chair yeah it is not an act it is not a trick it is people giving up their legal right to sue wwf to be as hit as hard as they could and i just thought to myself as he's explaining him getting hit as hard as he could twice with the metal chair and this guy was frail as fuck looking he was looked like a nerd he looked like he'd been beaten his entire life and i was just like oh my god you're gonna sign up for this shit and that's how he became stupid that's why he was in the stupid ward yeah he he had a traumatic brain he had a traumatic brain injury from wwf from being hit by that but he had signed the legal document did he tell you that

yes he's talking about this in front of everyone he's oh my god he's doing he's doing like a one he's doing like a one-man play in the stupid ward of the lafayette jail he's like a spotlight he's doing like the vagina monologues for the stupid ward the guards are like weeping like my left foot stupid ward this is the medical pod and this is the the the oldest the youngest and the most crazy i got it because it was crazy okay i see i made a deal with the guards at this point and i got control of the television remotes at night and they let me it was insanity yeah it was only there for two for two and a half weeks okay one last thing that happened in the state of the union that i thought was really fucked up was when the biden the last

thing he literally said he was like oh america's strong whatever the union is strong and then he just kind of like randomly blurted out while like not even like like starting to like walk away like a little bit like he was not looking at the camera he just said let's go get him i'm like what who is he he's talking about putin no i know he's talking about putin but i'm like there's that was not that was not on the teleprompter he pulls out a pitchfork that was not on the teleprompter and i'm like he what if he just accidentally declared war just like accidentally was like okay let's like let's nuke him let's go get him literally hitting him on the hand after

that saying no no don't do that next time he did not get tapio his tapioca pudding that night i um i also have one more thing there um the broadcast i saw i started watching one broadcast but it was one camera that was only on Biden. So I switched to another cause I wanted to see the crowd and the Ukrainian like ambassador is this woman. And behind her is like a woman who is wearing what looks to me like a, a party city Ukrainian costume, which is like yeah like the flower

the crazy like flower dress that just looked like yeah like a nesting doll yeah exactly yeah no really there was all of them were wearing like blue and yellow and just like so annoying i just i like whenever i'm forced to remember that like n Pelosi exists, that Joe Biden exists, that all these people are like governing our reality. It just it feels like there's so much dread. Like I just it is so depressing and is so fucked up that like these demented freaks just I have to I have to pay taxes to pay their salaries. They just mill about their chambers like fucking mental patients. Coming up with new sick ways to fuck with everyone's lives. It's so evil.

I hate them so much. I hate them so much. It was filled with so much dread seeing this. Yeah, it doesn't really give you hope for a country if you don't if you unless you really have those blinders up that the politicians are doing the right thing did you guys see um bernie on colbert where um what'd he say colbert was like he farted probably um but colbert was like biden says at the end of the speech that um he's never been more optimistic about america do you do you share his uh do you share that opinion and bernie's like uh nope

yeah oh nope nope yeah not at all not at all okay also a big like policy wise like politics wise biden talked about like the need to fund the police and he he also singled out covet scammers and he said that we are going to prosecute anyone who did fraud with ppp is that really necessary right now biden do we really need to prosecute covet scammers because honestly which one of us isn't a covid scammer i would say he was kind of right wing with it he went really right wing and like that's really what the democrats use the state of the union for because it always happens like a couple years i think it always happens like two years after the primaries or after a general election they always use the state of the union because they have a huge platform to kind of reel back in all of the vague symbolic promises or gesturing they did towards the left during an

electoral run you know they of course they were the dnc was completely and totally hostile to defund the police writ large um they biden when he ran made promises about like student debt did not mention that at all um but like they they use the state of the union to kind of um have a swift blow of reality towards anyone who took them at their word for what they ran on um or what they promised during a uh primary or a general yeah and i i think he did not go hard enough on the Texas trans thing. Yeah. I know. That's incredibly evil.

Of course he's not, no offense to this. He's just not going to, cause he doesn't care. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, he's like the equality act and it's like the equality act isn't going to do

shit about this. This is like insane. Like habit is fucking evil. Yeah. Yeah. Well, they're happy just to see they, if they would rather not

touch anything like this because they don't want it to be an issue they don't want to be like a lightning rod issue for them they will not touch it yeah like could you explain what you mean by lightning rod issue it means that if if they were to bring it up and if they were to attach themselves to this issue it would become something that is a distraction from issues that they think are more um electorally feasible for them it means that this is this is an issue the like don't say gay thing is an issue that is so incendiary and strikes right to the core of people's emotions and fears and like every every american it's just like there's a button within every american where they will just go full right wing if something presses it you know like this is an issue that inspires deep people to become bigots um yeah or become like insane like yeah like on either end you know

one is better than the other of course like this bill is evil and horrible and shouldn't exist um but yeah i don't think the democrats are would in any way um want to attach themselves to this yeah it was a just really i had never watched a political event where people were booing there was booing in the state of the yeah there were a couple of boos like okay one of them was saying they were harassed by marjorie taylor green that marjorie taylor green heckled them. And honestly, I read into this because I was like, I would want to know what she said and what she was heckling. It would have been hilarious to see because she's such a tweaker.

But she didn't even heckle. But she did. Biden was being right wing and he's like, we need to curb immigration or something. And Marjorie Taylor Greene. And this, Biden said biden said something very anti-immigration the entire chamber got been applauded and marjorie taylor green shouted build the wall which is like that's not heckling she's also the the republicans all booed when um he said something like under the previous administration there was a two trillion dollar tax cut and uh unlike that

which helped the one percent we're gonna help the bottom percent and then the all the republicans i'm looking at my notes it's killing me to try and remember it was something about the the great i wish i remember what they did at first. And then five seconds later, they cheered. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was just confused. I was very confused because I don't know politics like y'all do.

I'm like, I had said I use genius political brains. Yeah. They kept cutting to people. And I'm like, who the fuck is that? No, that's what was making me so insane. They were cut like it was the Oscars. And they were like cutting to actors to see their reactions. You know, and it's like seeing all of these like haunted,

old, like saggy faces. They're just these, it was, I truly felt like I was looking into like a round table in hell. Like these people are all so evil. Just the pure evil energy coming from these people was overwhelming i and i'm not even like a spiritual vibe person but like that was a deeply deeply deeply evil event yeah oh absolutely portal to hell happening there It was like the last scene of Suspiria where they're all in a blood room.

And Biden is that one woman who's like, do you know what I'm talking about? What's her name? No, it's more like the last scene in Rosemary's Baby where all the old people... I've never seen that. It's a really good movie.

I heard it's good. It's very good. You'd love it. No, it is like that scene Where they go in And they Yeah yeah Anyways let's switch away From the state of the union

Because it is too depressing Can I say one last thing Yeah of course Of course So during when we were Talking about this I texted my diabetic friend Asking him

My diabetic friend One of One of my diabetic friends Imagine being your Imagine being Jock's Like lifelong friend Go to Diabetes And then you hear Jock refer to you as my diabetic friend. I have many diabetic friends, and I would just say that this is the first person I thought to text about diabetes. on his insurance just to get a discount on the uh per month yeah all just to get two vials worth

of insulin that uh at a hundred dollars yeah no my dad has diabetes it's really fucked up insulin prices are like incredibly he also goes on to say that free markets so capitalists decide what to charge, and insulin being a necessity, they can pretty much charge whatever they want. Yeah, of course. And I will pay it to survive. It's the same reason why textbooks cost so much. It's a cornered market.

You have to. Yeah, you have to. You have to have it to get. So, Ben, you were saying you want to switch it out. Let's switch away from the State of the Union because I feel like it's just so depressing. The funniest thing that could ever happen is just... The funniest thing that happens in it is that Joe Biden is actively sundowning

and Nancy Pelosi is also demented. What is sundown? You keep using that phrase and I'm unfamiliar. Sundowning is a phenomenon that happens or it's symptomatic of people who have dementia or Alzheimer's. When the sun goes down, they start to... Yeah. The longer you're awake, the worse your symptoms get.

So like... You get confused. Should I go to the doctor right now? You kind of sun down sometimes. I'm sun down, sun up. You sun down and sun up. I start sunning down right at sun up. So something's wrong.

It's really happening here. Yeah. You're kind of around the clock sun downing. I'm I start sunning down right at sun up, so something's wrong. It's really happening here. Yeah, literally. Yeah, you're kind of around the clock sun downing. I'm going to text my doctor, Shane. Yeah, you're just sunning. Yeah. I'm sunning. I'm bricked up.

Sunning. I'm sunning. Bricked up and sunning. No, let's go to... Jock is in Oklahoma. I was in Oklahoma. Oh, you were? Oh, sorry.

I should have realized you're back in your room. I've returned. Clearly, I am back in my room. She hath returned from the hinterland. Before I even get into Oklahoma, fun little fact, guys. Every time I've been looking to my right and staring when Ben is talking,

it's not because I'm not listening. It's because I'm looking at the poster of Harry from Sex and the City who also has blue eyes. Oh, so you're looking between me and a poster of Carrie from Sex and the City. I'm looking at Carrie and I'm pretending that

it's Carrie saying these things to me. And it makes it a lot easier. Could someone get a screenshot of this one and send it to me? Sure, I'll get a screenshot of it. If you want me to wear, like, I can find, like, a Carrie Zoom filter. Or I could wear a wig.

I would like if you would just transition just so you could fit in with the rest of us here. I feel like you would be really mad if I transitioned because I would be, I think I'd be a pretty girl. I would kill myself if you transitioned. Yeah, I was about to say i actually would be very pissed if you already have you already have the cheekbones and the eyes to look like a beautiful evil i would honestly if i would destroy us i'm not like super attached to my

gender it's just like the thing that keeps me from i'm'm just like, okay, wherever I'm hottest, you know, whatever makes my life easiest. If it were, if I could like go back in time and like be like, get like Kim Petra style transition where it's like, I'm on moans at like 10. Yeah. I would absolutely do it. Yeah. On da moans.

I would. Sounds like a new single. Get moaned up. I'm on da moans. I think like so many people would do that. Absolutely. If they had that option. Of course.

Which is what Republicans are afraid of because they know they would have done it or they would have like wanted to. It's always so funny when people are like. Mitch McConnell being like, I would have been a beautiful woman. Yeah. If only I had the chance. I would have been a beautiful woman. At some points during the, one of my notes for the State of the Union was, Kamala looks kind of like John Taffer.

Kamala, Kamala's kind of bricky, honestly. Yeah. She's kind of bricky. Well, she's just old. She's old.

She just looked like she was from like 20 years ago, wearing that ugly ass brown colored suit. The brown, I thought the brown suit was kind of, it was very Jackie Robinson, not Jackie Robinson. It was very Jackie Robinson. Racist, racist, racist racist what's the the um quentin tarrantini brown you loser it's very jackie brown racist racist gonna kill you race it's okay well you know she's actually

indian so yeah you're being racist you're you're you're erasing her um indian side by don't you tell me what i'm erasing and i don't even have the eraser right now you're being racist. You're erasing her Indian side. Don't you tell me what I'm erasing. I don't even have the eraser right now. You're a racist ting. I'm a racist ting? Shut up. Oh, you two. Okay, Jock, let's get into Oklahoma.

I want... I'm ready to get into Oklahoma because I'm tired of talking about how beautiful the both of you are. It pisses me off and it makes me very jealous. Yeah, I know. If I transitioned, you would be... I'm going to have... Look, honestly, I don't even believe in plastic surgery kind of and for me for me personally next thing i do to you is i'm gonna show up fully fish and you're gonna forget that i told you this because

you don't remember anything you're gonna forget that i told you this and then in like two months i'm going to send you a picture of me looking like a beautiful girl. And then you're going to be so mad. You're going to put your phone on the ground. You're going to find a tank and you're going to run it over. Ben, I already see how this situation is going to go. And Ben is going to hire a professional, beautiful, beautiful woman who is also a world-renowned ventriloquist. beautiful beautiful woman who is also a world-renowned ventriloquist and she will have a tiny speaker hidden in her clothing so that ben's voice comes out of her body i feel like there are

easier ways to make it no there's not an easier way to do it no no no no no i don't think that's necessary no it's very necessary it's called lip syncing, John. People do that very easily who are not world-renowned beautiful ventriloquists. I'm going to run off of the closest tall building faster than a stockbroker in a crisis. Whoa. I won't do that to you. I won't transition, I promise. I want to transition, but I won't because I don't want to make you feel bad. Y'all, I just want y'all to listen to these words very carefully that ben just said because you know he's gonna do it anyway in two days just

to just to spite me what i think is gonna happen jock and which is why i think you don't have to worry about it is that ben is gonna be like okay i'm doing that prank to jock and then ben is gonna call me sobbing and be like, I'm such an ugly girl. Ben accidentally gets dysphoria from like... Sorry, no dysphoria here. Only euphoria. Me in like a spaghetti strap. I found it like Goodwill crying because I don't look like Jennifer Lopez.

I'm ready to give my Oklahoma report, but I want to say that... Okay, let's do Oklahoma review. I want to say that Ben and Hessa are both censoring me from ever disclosing and expressing my thoughts about Euphoria, the TV show, and I really wish I could talk about that finale right now.

No, no, I don't have time to talk about it. I have to talk about Oklahoma. I don't even have time to understand your response. Okay. Perfect. Perfect. Okay. So, y'all, my roommate was like,

hey, we have a little family get-together that I wanted to surprise one of my family members with. She wanted to surprise her brother. And do you want to leave with me right now to drive to oklahoma it was the time was like nine o'clock and she looked at both of me and my roommate and she was like do either y'all want to go just one of y'all please and i was like hell yeah i want to go i was like um hell yeah i want to go to oklahoma i'm a bitch and i was like i was ready to stay up, Oklahoma, where the wind goes sweeping down the plane. Where there's junk, where there's weed, where there's...

I got in that car and I probably lasted like an hour, an hour and a half and just fell asleep on the drive there. And I was inconsistently waking up and opening my eyes going, where are we? And my roommate would be like, you're a corndog. Yeah, you forgot that you agreed to go to Oklahoma and you were scared you were being human trafficked. What are you doing to me? What do you want? None of my organs work anyways.

You can't take them. I already had my kidney removed. Oh, give me a break. I had it removed with my first binge. Look, I'm like, yeah, Oklahoma sounds dope. I knew her brother had a dab rig. Sounds dope. Yeah, I knew her brother had a dab rig, so I was set, basically.

I brought my Xbox because I knew her brother played GTA V online. Perfect. You're going to bro out. Yeah. We were were gonna bro out i you know my roommate me we're just like having a good time and as soon as we got there we were just smoking cigarettes on the front porch drinking her dad is like an expert barbecue meat man and he was imagine this you're going somewhere and the first meal that they cook for you

is literally smoked 8 hours 7 hours at least 5 or 6 hours long smoked beef short rib tips that sounds I love short ribs it was so fucking delicious Beef short rib tips. That sounds...

I love short ribs. It was so fucking delicious. We had cornbread with it. And what do you call it? Cast iron cooked potatoes fried. Corn. Yummy. Yummers.

On the cob. We had peas. I mean, I was in heaven. Just a classic, delicious barbecue. You were on a Native American reservation, right? I wasn't on a Native American reservation, but I was with their family is Native American. I see, I see, I see. And it was just, it was such a good time, y'all.

I got to see a tornado shelter for the first time in person, which was incredible. I went inside. I was like, this is my new apartment. I'm going to put the router right here. I'm going to put the shelf of my Sopranos and Gilmore Girls DVDs right here. I just had it all laid out. Whenever you move, you start acting like a villager

who's um like villagers burned to the ground like you have to trundle all of your belongings i thought you were talking about animal crossing when you said villager yeah yeah literally so i mean it was just so weird and like being in rural oklahoma if you go suddenly from denver which is showing over like a pillowcase full of 70 vhs's and a dab rig they pillage my village y'all i had to get the hell out of there can i stay in your tornado shelter dabs are so much cheaper in oklah They have medical and for $20 you could get 3.5 grams

of wax. Dabs are a hard drug. I've been saying this. It should not be legal. I usually get between 72 and 80%. That's like the amount of THC I can

find in Denver for a normal price. the fact that you are talking about weed this way is so insane to me there's that um i think it's a chewy the god tweet that's like weed smokers be like i'm not addicted then hit their 70 thc hydroponically grown wax with a propane tank. Setting up a scientist using beakers and shit.

It is insane. It is insane. But I found 90%. For $20. It's like talking about heroin. I asked for an Oklahoma review. Okay, okay. I'll get back into it. Okay, okay. Look, I'm going to get back into it. Okay, so I eat this incredible, glorious meal.

I've been drinking. Her dad is like, let me make you a drink. I got pomegranate juice and pear absolute vodka. Oh, God. You know those TikTok videos? Pear vodka. You know those TikTok joke videos where they're making the perfect quote-unquote mimosa, and they drop just the tiniest drop of orange juice on top? It was like that with the pomegranate, just because they were just at the bottom.

So you had a pair of vodka straight up with a drop of pomegranate. Basically, and it was a full wine glass. A bartender could have a pair of vodka straight up with a drop of pomegranate basically and it was a full wine glass bartender could have a pear vodka straight up with a drop on days like this i don't take my anti-anxiety medication so i don't black out during it but i was just i was lucy i was goosey i had to walk i was walking back and forth okay we were staying on a off deep rural oklahoma where you have to go down a gravel road to get to their house and there's only three houses on the gravel road and the first one is her brother's house and then the second one is a neighbor and then the third one is their parents house and so you could walk i was just walking back and forth between the two in the middle of the night. I want you to explain Cajun Mardi Gras.

Before I ask you to explain Cajun Mardi Gras, I want to tell the listener and Hessa how your mom explained Cajun Mardi Gras to me. Okay. So this is in the Acadiana region of Louisiana. It's west of New Orleans, Jock, right? West of Baton Rouge. I wouldn't be able to tell you what direction it is because I can barely tell what direction my bedroom is.

It's on the California side of New Orleans. I wouldn't be able to tell you exactly. Okay, it's west. It's west. It's Mamu. Mamu, okay. So Cajun Mardi Gras is completely different than New Orleans Mardi Gras. New Orleans Mardi Gras.

Or Eunice, maybe. I'm trying to remember. I think for a lot of people in Louisiana, Mardi Gras in New Orleans is very normie. It's touristy. It's not really connected as deeply to- I 100% disagree. Really? No.

100% you are wrong. This is what Valerie told me. I know. But first of all, you have to understand. So she's wrong. No. Neither of y'all are wrong. Louisiana celebrates Mardi Gras 100% independent across the entire place.

So there's different ways of celebrating it. But Cajun Mardi Gras. No matter what, New Orleans is the original. New Orleans is the number one. You're going to have more fun. But Cajun Mardi Gras, from what I understand, is viewed as being somewhat more authentic. No.

Again, wrong. Then you need to talk to your mamu. I'll have a fight with my mom about this later. Your mamu told me differently. There's an authentic level of Cajun Mardi Gras, but Cajun Mardi Gras actually came. Chuck, in Cajun Mardi Gras, part of the Mardi Gras that I know. You're not from Louisiana. Just shut the fuck up.

Part of it is you let a chicken loose in a field and everyone has to kick it to death. That's what I mean is more authentic. You're so fucking confused about everything. I saw the videos. Look, take the corn out of your eyes and start to look at life and not this eye away. Enlighten me. Let me enlighten you on several different things. So first of all, as my understanding, New Orleansleans mardi gras was the first mardi gras in

the united states and and the second mardi gras took her in the united states was in like south carolina or some fucked up bullshit which i don't even understand but basically once mardi gras had started in new orleans people in the country parts in acadiana wanted to bring their own version of it and i'm gonna tell you straight off right now i see it is is it is way more intense it's scary new orleans it's scary people are no it's literally scary the way people dress up not yeah okay can you describe describe the costumes so you make it out of a mask made out of chicken wire which if you're unfamiliar is just is just the transparent you cover your entire face except eye holes we'll make we'll make this the episode you make a pointy

hat you make a pointy hat similar to dunce cap or similar and then you grab a cross no stop and a tank of gasoline stop but also cajun mardi gras is a million times more racist more sexist yeah yeah so much more animal abuse okay there's a game where you have to climb a greasy a pole that and people and people are fighting, falling down it. And there's a chicken at the top. And you have to grab the chicken and bring it down. The chicken at the top is in a cage. No.

Like a little cage. No. No. It's just standing on a tiny platform. The video I saw, I saw a video of a bunch of people in these Cajun Mardi Gras costumes that our friend who lives in uh new iberia made one she was telling me about it the way she didn't even go to cajun mardi gras she yeah well whatever it's very early you have to get up at four or five in the morning it's also

like not about i mean it's about partying but it is like it's it's more about the horror yes it's more about the horror of it and the way she the way she made her Cajun Mardi Gras costume was she had a bunch of shirts that she cut the bottom four inches off of and then frayed them and then layered that into its own new shirt. So it kind of has this like feathered effect, but it looks really, really, really like old world like red dead redemption era and then you're and then you're wearing like these giant boots and you have this chicken wire mask with a pointy hat it looks like nothing else i've ever seen before it is horrifying and then yeah you have to beat your comrades with also wearing the same scary clothes you have to blue bristle them and then kill the chicken the chicken once they whoever gets up there they kill it they kill it they kill it somehow but i don't think it's like a bunch of a field of people chasing it

they do it some fucked up oh my god i'm looking up these masks. The masks are so scary. No, I know. This is a nightmare. I know. We have to make that the episode order. But they literally kick the chicken to death like a soccer ball. No. They treat it like they murdered the chicken the way Gaddafi was killed. How many times have you been to Cajun Mardi Gras, Ben? Jock, zero.

But I'm just saying like this is- Jock, zero, but I'm just saying, like, this is- Jock, zero, but I'm just saying I'm from Iowa, and I know everything because I ate so much corn growing up. I also didn't eat corn growing up. These masks are a nightmare. Let me just make some other clarifications, too. A lot of it is on horse. In Cajun Mardi Gras, everyone's riding a horse,

and there's a lot of men standing on top of horses and taking pisses. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is, on its own, a shocking sight to see. Well, standing on a horse, period. Standing on a horse, peeing. It's way more nightmarish than you could ever imagine. Everyone who's my age who goes takes mushrooms and goes. Which I don't understand why you would ever want to do that.

Horrifying. It's horrifying. It's like mid- it's like mid somar shit well to describe to the the audience um i'm looking at pictures right now of the masks and i i would describe them as like if there was um like a movie about um like a kids show that is like evil um it's like an evil kid's show type costumes it's like if you yeah if you picture like one of those soviet tv shows for kids that's like accidentally horrifying um it's like that basically it's what everyone looks like it's not okay it's very scary new orleans smarty girl is way funner yeah it's way like. It's not okay. It's very scary. New Orleans Mardi Gras is way funner. It's way cooler.

And it's not about the tourism. Yeah. Well, I know, I know, I know. Anyways, let's wrap up there. I'm trying to think of the Cajun phrase. T'es le temps sans temps. No, it's le bon temps brûlé, you fucking idiot. Whatever you're trying to time. No, it's you fucking idiot.

Whatever you're trying to say. No, too late is one as well.

Okay, well, I'm happy you've gone on the internet. I'm going to

be 100%. The phrase that Ben just said, I've never in my entire life

as being a Cajun, French, Mardi Gras-going Louisiana ever heard anyone say that. Ben's lies come from his blue eyes. They come from your fucking mamu who told me. We love you, everyone. Thank you for listening.

You fucking loser. I'm sorry. Thank you. THE END © BF-WATCH TV 2021 Thank you.