Seeking Derangements - *Preview* SD 460 - Seeking's Sexiest

Episode Date: December 28, 2025

VIDEO AND AUDIO ON PATREON Ben here, today Jacques, Hesse and I gather for the first inaugural Seeking's Sexiest Person of the Year. We each nominated 6 people and they face off against each other tournament style, we've got actresses, cartoons, fictional characters and musicians all going head to head until one is crowned Seeking's Sexiest. We hope everyone had an amazing Christmas, mwah!

So the premise of this episode is that this is the 2025 Sexual Olympics. We have a bracket here. Can you guys both see this screen that I'm sharing? Now I can. Single education. Okay. So we all selected eight people who were randomly seated, or semi-randomely, because I made sure that no one's choice was going against another one of their choices.

but beyond that this is random so some of our choices did not make it in but what the hell we do have 16 we have 16 players in this okay i know that's right i know you rye unk now teenage you can't not unk i'm chopped i'm unc i'm here you would call that anyways has to please continue these um you can probably you'll probably be able to tell who selected each selection because they are very true to form the assignment was to pick someone from 2025 who you believe could take it all sexually and the way i didn't choose a single person from yeah you didn't choose a single person and in fact i think i think we'll we'll find is that we all have vastly different understandings of time and space and maybe even people yes which is already a theme of the show so yeah yeah i think that's fine um so the first matchup that we have is lois

lois griffin versus the louvre thieves which is i'm trying to keep it so that um you can't see what's next um let me look up pictures of both of these like do i need to send my photos again because lois no lois comes out you have to look up a very specific Lois or it doesn't work. Lois comes out of her shell. No, it has to be Lois comes out of her shell. John, it's going to show the same episode. Okay. So this is

Jacques's election. She has an age regression kind of thing as a midlife crisis and starts dressing like a slut. Okay, period. And you like that? You like a slutty Lois? Yeah. And then we have the Louvre. thieves who are loose thieves mugshed. Maybe not age regression.

That sounds so fucked up. Okay, so let's think about this. Where's everyone leaning? Jacques, obviously, you think that that Lois probably is hotter than these guys. We have to imagine that they're

in a sexual encounter with each other. Oh, that's what we're, who would have who would win? Who would win? How do you to find winning in this in between that's for everyone of us to choose and for everyone else to find out I feel like these guys would win

because well I don't know look at that bomb I mean I think I think that of course the Louvre guys are sexier than Lois but in terms of who would win at sex um

I feel like Lois is dressed Lois is dressed slutty, but I don't know if she has the chops to back it up. Why would you? No, she doesn't. I'm telling you, she has sex with Peter in the laundry room on that episode. And also- Yeah, but just Peter.

I don't think she would even, I don't think even think she would have sex with these. She tries out in, not in like a, not in like a milf way. She tries to have sex with Justin Bieber. Okay, great. Not in like a milf way. Like, would she, she wouldn't, like, you know, two young ruffians with a, a sexy, a little bit older mother. Well, Jacques,

in that episode, does she achieve having sex with Justin Bieber? No. Why? Because Peter comes in and gets jealous and kills him. Okay, so these guys win. Lois has a track record of losing.

Lois is a loser in this world of sexuality. You're coming through so well. Can I just say something, please? Why would you want to choose two bruised bananas over one succulent peach I don't think well one guy has bruises is that why you went straight to the banana metaphor

I would choose them sorry it's an open and shut case for me of course yeah yeah I think also there's other cartoon characters in this that we can also do so let's record I should have submitted scar I completely forgot to submit Scott oh my god yeah also Scar you follow

the um you followed the prompt pretty closely um so the okay so we've got the louv thieves winning and they will be facing off against either uh matt damon's character from dogma or marie glusencampraise oh you're not this help come on okay uh well marie gloos and com fres looks like a um old tiny oil prospector there's there's gold in them hills is what she looks like to me i don't find matt damon to be particularly attractive but in that movie is so hot yes such a