Seeking Derangements - SD 103 - In Cannes

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

Inside the writers room for the Seeking Derangements Gumbo Documentary with our special birthday boy BEN!!!! We submitted the Seeking Derangements Gumbo Documentary to the Un Certain Retard section of Cannes. intro/// Eleanore Mills - Fascinating, Devastating Man (1974) outro/// Djalma Dias - Nada sei de preconceito (1974) you can get BEN a lovely birthday present by subscribing to our patreon: patreon.com/seekingderangements

And now I wake up in the morning feeling oh so grand Can't wait until evening just to see my man Driving to work, he's on my mind His favorite record's playing, please play it one more time He's a fascinating, devastating man. He can have my love, he knows he can. He's a fascinating, devastating man. He can have all of me Untrue I'll never be In my eyes, love he sees To him I'll always be free

Never go away Oh, Lord. A racist sample pack. Ben is operating with one brain cell today. Yeah. Half of a brain cell. On this crazy train. Yeah. You yeah you gotta speak up a little bit though okay it's my it's my fucking birthday it's my fucking birthday

are you gonna go party again tonight no i am No. I told everyone to scream at me, Ben, go home at 11 o'clock. He didn't. Did you go to that electronic show last night? Let me read this. Did I what? Did you go to that electronic DJ show last night?

What is it? You're talking like a 70-year-old? Did you go to the discotheque? Did you go to that DJ fuck Lil Mariko show? Oh, at Rash? Yeah, it looked fun. That lineup looks...

It looked so fun. I don't listen to any of the music at those places. It's fun. It's good good but i don't know anything about it ben doesn't like listening to music often it excites him too much it's too much well that's like saying yeah i went to the mall and i loved listening to the music at the mall it's beautiful ben wears headphones all the time but they're never playing music it's just so people won't talk to him music it's just so people won't talk to him it's so weird can i can i read the text i the text i got from ben last night at 2 36 a.m i was in bed i had just i made myself a delicious dinner

yes i saw a film at the cinema and I got home I was having a very relaxing night I made some tea some chamomile tea and I did all my skin creams and I get a text at 2.36am and it says it's an address and then it says

open bar, live horse in the room passcode is praxis there was a horse there there's a shell and pony i did i unfortunately did not see the pony but what okay okay no no no i did i did secure visuals on the pony i do have okay so you didn't see a horse there but you saw the pony you secured visuals how does that work well the like little midget horses it's like a sean pony of horses oh a tiny little tiny horse oh my god like absolute animal abuse complete animal abuse i wouldn't expect anything less perverted for benjamin's birthday about it is like where is the through line there like how are you someone who knows what the word praxis is? And you have to say it like the...

And you're like... What's traxis? What's what? What is traxis? Traxis is like something... Traxis? Traxis is a villain from like a Star Wars novel or something.

Is what it sounds like. Traxis is the evil gender villain from uh that uh he's like dr yakub for uh for uh what's your name contra points and the the audio is coming in kind of cut up and so it sounded like you said um that traxxas is the evil gender that's what i heard yeah it is traxxas is like uh dr yakub for contra points that's what i said chalk did you have your garage sale no okay it was the original forecast the original fort you're having a garage sale every two weeks shut Shut up. Shut up. How big is your garage? Look, look, every time I make a good amount of money and I was having yard sales up till today was going to be a garage sale.

But what's the difference? One is the yard and one is the garage, y'all. God, thanks, Hessa, for bringing logic back to this podcast. Anyway, so... An estate sale is when you have a sale on your estate. It's a little bit more upscale. Yeah. That's like Jeffrey Epstein has those.

Oh, my God. It was an estate sale. Okay. Don't bring Epstein into this. It was too cold. It was supposed to be 54 degrees, and it was 34. That is 20 degrees colder than It was supposed to be 54 degrees and it was 34. That is 20 degrees colder than it was supposed to be. Plus, I have...

Because they're not cold in Louisiana? He lives in Denver. I'm in Denver now. You're so earthy. I'm going to New Orleans soon and then Lafayette. In a few days. I'm excited.

I'm so excited to go back to Louisiana. That's why I made gumbo to celebrate Louisiana and life. How was your gumbo? Tell us about your gumbo adventure. Let me tell y'all. Okay. Imagine it's, it's 3am and I take everything down from the kitchen on the surface of the kitchen and just put it in front of the kitchen door or the entryway to the kitchen.

And I cover it in all the gumbo ingredients. It's like 3 in the morning. I have my DJ controller out too. And I'm like, hey, everybody. Okay, let me give you the gumbo recipe. And I recorded 147 videos that added up only to one hour. What? Jesus Christ. I have a professional video.

Yeah. I have someone on the case. They're editing it right now as we speak Who's who? 6040 An internet friend Oh yeah yeah yeah I gotcha

I don't want to say their full name With the mukbang right? No no no Yeah that was my friend Alex Our friend Alex Gotcha yeah friend of the pod no no no yeah that was my friend alex little art ho our our friend alex lord gotcha yeah friend of the okay that was we love that was a while ago though but anyway i was just like up at 4 a.m recording the gumbo like dropping shit like i was kind of losing it i was like can't can't wait can't wait to watch 147 minutes no no it no, no. It's going to be cut down to about 15.

It's going to be a feature-length film. It's going to win the Palme d'Or. We're entering it into Sundance. Harrowing. Frightening. If they want to take it to Cannes or Sundance, I'm not going to complain. The most shocking movie I've seen all year.

It'll play like a Serbian film. No, just kidding. You're walking down the red carpet with that meth hat on a leash. Acting like a dog. The headline for the movie will be like, it was worse than serbian film 120 days of sodom and bridesmaids put together yeah but um scariest movie of all time no honestly over the last few days, I've been staying up almost every night till almost either 11 to 2 p.m.

Midday and then sleeping till like seven or eight and then just going really hard and then waking up and doing it again. I played DDR for two hours straight a few nights ago. I'm I'm I'm breaking physical limits. You're tooled up on... The steroids and the monoclonal antibody treatment has my body working to the maximum. I was about to say,

we have a front row seat to what happened to Trump after he got the vaccine. I feel like... We have to front row seat to what happened to Trump after he got the vaccine. I feel like Van Damme in 92. My body is rocking. People. Damn.

I love that for you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Before that, he was feeling like Benoit in 06 Is that how recently that happened? Yeah Chris Benoit Ate a bad gumbo

And did that to himself and his family Right after Oh my god Stop Wait look I have a question for y'all so just we can we can discuss as a group um who is juicy somalia juicy somalia i said i think it's pronounced jussy j-u-s-s-y what kind of hold is a jussy is what i I want to know Because I know a pussy and I know a pussy

But what's a Jussie It's like nothing you ever had before baby First of all It's like fucking a stoma Are we free Jussie I think are we free Jussie Yes yes What was he even arrested for

For filing a false police report No no no He was arrested for being a false police report? No, no, no. He was arrested for causing a ruckus. He was arrested for being a part of the show Empire. Who cared? He was arrested for causing a ruckus in a scene and jacking off with the guy

that he hired to dump bleach on him. He jacked off with one of the guys that is so fucking hoted he jacked off with one of the guys that he that is so which wait he jacked off with one of the guys that he got beaten up with yeah yeah yeah that was like an entire day they wasted an entire afternoon and during the trial uh a couple days ago just being like okay so how do you guys know each other? And they spent the entire day talking about like, yeah, so like I knew him from like Grindr, I guess. And like, we went to the same bathhouse together and like, yeah, the first time that I really met him,

like we all got together in the same room and like Eiffel Towered some other twink and like jacked off together after. Imagine being a gay guy and this beautiful young twink that you have sex with is like calls the police because it has like such bad bpd that he calls the police and it's like i was assaulted and just gives your info like that's very... I don't know. I would be like,

this guy's in love with me. This guy caught feelings. Make me catch a sentence. Wait, so Jesse, he... Is Jesse in the wrong? Can you just tell me? No. Is it? Okay.

I think it's fine. I don't think it's that big of a deal. It's publicity. It was a publicity stunt. It sucks that he's going to jail, though. It sucks that he's going to jail, but it's also so stupid that the Chicago police saw that police report and was like,

okay, this is obviously something real that happened and not something that this dumb bottom would make up for attention. Yeah. I know. Yeah, a couple of black, a couple of really gay, effete black guys who look like fucking,

what's his name in, oh God. Josh Peck josh peck yes like it's like a black guy with frosted tips assaulted me and like poured bleach on me and he had like a mega head on but it was like really crisp like i i don't know how anybody would expect you know the general public to believe that you know what i mean he originally say it was a white guy yes he originally said it was a white guy and then like the the footage came out like 24 hours after that like while he was still on the news uh talking about how like this is a black lives matter thing or whatever um and then like you know it was like oh those two

a couple of nigerian guys now i remember this part of it was him saying that he ordered a salad at subway yeah i remember subway had something to do with that he was at a subway and he ordered a salad which is fucking freakish behavior who the fuck is getting a salad at subway subway subway period is vile but like getting a salad i don't even know what their salad i don't even know what their salad would be like. Is it just like a deli meat sandwich? I know. That is the most BPD, like, I am on the ledge. I am going to have a psychotic break. I'll eat anything disgusting, but even a Subway salad just sounds like something.

Subway period is disgusting. Subway doesn't taste like anything. Subway just tastes like cold. No, Subway's actually, Subway cold sandwiches are pretty good sometimes. No, God. No, Subway's actually... Subway cold sandwiches are pretty good sometimes. No, God. No, no. One time I had a $100 gift card to Subway and I used it in a month

and I felt so raw after. What if Ghislaine gets off and Jesse goes to jail? Do you... No, there's no... That would be such a society moment. Do you think there's really... That would be vibes. Do you think...

The joke is real. Do you think there's really... I watched the joke is real do you think there's really i watched the just a lot of society would be happening i watched the i watched the in the shadow of epstein jose and maxwell documentary last night or whatever it was really called certainly not how to say your name jose and maxwell come on do you think that maybe it could be that she's just another one of his Certainly not how to say her name. Ghislaine Maxwell? Come on. Ghislaine, Ghislaine, Ghislaine. Do you think that maybe it could be that she's just another one of his victims in a way?

No. Because what he did, he was such a predator. He was such a conman. He had so much charisma and so much power. Do you think that he fooled another woman and that woman is Ghislaine? Do you think he groomed her do i think she he harmed her maybe is she just another one of his victims and she should be said look look if i learned anything from the documentary last night it's that uh jill's jill lane maxwell uh was born into evil her father had like basically taught her and normalized being evil and abusive behavior.

Speak on it. Speak on it. And she was a daddy's girl. Total case of the dad freuds. And she went to Epstein looking for whatever vacancy her father's death left. into epstein looking for whatever vacancy her father's death left you know i know a girl who got into the actual courtroom to uh and the spectator like you know like not in the like outside spectator room where you like watch the proceedings on a camera but like in the room with galane herself well it's like public and yeah I feel like I know. They have three seats for the spectators.

I mean, in the actual courtroom. You know, you can go and watch it and it has a capacity of like 50 people. Are you talking about... You're in a viewing room with a TV that has a few... Are you talking about the TNA girl? I don't know what you're talking about, John. Is that wrestling? No. Who's TNA?? I don't know what you're talking about, John. Is that wrestling?

No. Who's TNA? True or non? No. There's this girl I know who's a civilian. She's a normal person. I think it's very funny that the Gillian defense team is like,

this is just a woman that was manipulated by Jeffrey Epstein. That's kind of what they were saying. And then all these women who were victims go up and they're like, you knew what you were doing, you fucking piece of shit. It's like, wait, okay. Really, the informative thing to me about the documentary is that they were trying to make a connection

between the shady business shit that she did for her dad in order to protect him once he died a lot of a reliable journalist was reported seeing her shredding documents hours after her dad died well did you see so like obviously she was privy to a lot of dark shit. Well, did you see... So, like, obviously she was privy to a lot of dark shit to begin with. Did you know how her dad died? I haven't seen the documentary, but I do know how this happened. He fell off a boat in the Canary Islands.

Yeah, yeah, fell off a boat in the Canary Islands, which is fucking crazy. In the 72. Right. It wasn't in the... I think it was later. Or in the 80s. Sorry, in the 80s think it was later there's there's plenty of footage you're right late 80s and he died under mysterious circumstances obviously it was like murder or something

and people were saying it was suicide and they had three different uh what do you call it when you look at the body and try to determine the death autopsy three different autopsies and they were each inconclusive but then they ruled it suicide yeah sketchy i think it's cool that happened you're hearing it here first folks there's some sketchy stuff there's some such shit going down something's not adding up unsolved mysteries we got a case for you yeah they did not understand the assignment yeah an unsolved mysteries about this they try to fit it into what like 20 minutes how long is an episode of unsolved mysteries no it's like 45 it's 45 minutes now then they had they brought it back on netflix and it's not as good they took out the only they had something really they i guess they can't recreate because it's not the 90s

anymore but the original one was like had dramatizations by actors it was funny one of them is isn't um like matthew mcconaughey like a young matthew mcconaughey in one yes yes also also um there's so many young actors and actresses in it but there's just so much ridiculous shit also there's one episode where they decided to hire a white actor to do blackface for a two minute an under under two minute scene for what reason was she playing a character who was doing blackface no was she no no person it was just the 90s and they thought it was okay do they in the 90s it's such a random production choice hold on i'm gonna mention i'm gonna send a clip into the group chat so we could watch it do you really have a clip on

on dog they did this all the time remember they was there was the um now iconic um model where they had them oh yeah america's next top Model is like the most racist show of all time. Oh, yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about, Ben. Tyra Banks was like an all-wise matter person for a little bit, right? Did I hallucinate that? Oh, yeah. I mean, she...

She's like an abortion lady, too. I remember that from Catholic school. Do you remember what season was it where there was um this it was like the last two or three contestants of like one of the first like five or six seasons and they had to do a shoot with like two male models and the male models were like feeling this girl up oh my god she started crying and then tyra like pulled her aside and was like listen bitch you have to deal with this she's literally like grow the fuck up honey no she's like we're kicking you off the show because this is this is just part of it oh no yeah that's the craziest america's

top next model challenge thing that's the name of the show the craziest one is when they just literally like spin a wheel and choose different races to dress up as they're like we're gonna you know what i'm talking about they do they do it insane like um mixes they're like you're going to be a pakistani spaniard and you're going to be no literally there's an episode of all of that they do like you're an italian uh like all right give me a country guys can i get a country okay okay sweden okay now can i get a race can i get a race uh exactly asian asian okay asian swedish so can i get a sexual orientation sexual orientation i heard asexual asexual okay asexual swedish okay can i get a religion now

religion jew did y'all get that did y'all get the 26 second clip they hired they hired this guy it was even under two minutes 26 seconds on unsolved mysteries to get this white actor oh my god and and i see it oh no oh no oh no and horrible the voice oh they have a real black guy in there too oh no no it's so strange what the fuck that's so crazy i want to i want to bring this up i want to bring this up too they god damn they had to take down the blackface episodes of 30 Rock from Hulu and from Amazon, but they didn't take this off of Amazon. Like, what's on their list and what's not?

I mean, it's like, I don't approve of blackface. I want to just say that outwardly, but I'm just like, what blackface is good and bad enough to get censored? We need to hear both sides. We need to hear both sides on this get censored we need to hear both no no no but we need to meet in the marketplace of ideas and hash this out like yeah i'll say it i'll say it again i don't uh i don't approve of blackface at all really okay don't just shut up no i won't tell them i won't i won't leak those pictures shut Ben shut the fuck up you're hungover I said I won't leak the pictures okay look

Max you can take this part out we can edit this part out where I talk about how Jack has 30 blackface pictures that I will keep private all from different Halloweens. It was a Halloween edition for a while. We're going to edit this out.

No one is going to know. Ben, that's so great. That's so gracious of you. Thank you for the birth. Thank you for... Some people are actually very humble. I'm going to clip, by the way. If you guys are watching us on all the mysteries,

Jacques is the... No! You're supposed to be on my side i'm surprised i'm surprised they didn't have uh like a blackface guy in that article that you shared with us with the james bond uh oh yeah replacement should we jump into that yeah yeah let's i mean it's about time. So there's a Guardian article. I hate the fucking Guardian so much. Now that Daniel Craig is looking like a prune,

you're looking into... Like a pervert. Yeah, like a pervert, too. He's, what, 50-something years old now? He's getting old. So they're looking to replace James Bond. I want to say something really quickly. I always loved James Bond.

Shut up. I've seen James Bond in all of them, and I think