Seeking Derangements - SD 105 - Deerskin Engagements and the Maricon Variant

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

The SENSITIVE GUMBO documentary by Jacques and Sixtyforty is out NOW for our dear Patreon subscribers. It's been submitted to Sundance about 5 times under different titles because we keep getting banned. Note: Sorry about Ben's audio, I did my best to remove sirens and traffic noise. intro/// Yukihiro Takahashi - Elastic Dummy (1978) outro/// Los Irakere - Bacalao con pan (1976)

The The The The The Let's fucking get started. Are you here for me? you today um i guess these these i i'm the only one with covid in this room yet these two are complaining you know stop like they definitely have it i have something worse which is indigestion from mcdonald's wait has to have you tested positive no not yet so you're stealing covid valor is what you're doing no i, I definitely am very ill with COVID.

You're appropriating. My culture is not your costume. It's not. You gave it to me, bitch. You're appropriating my culture. That's so mean. You're appropriating Paz's culture. Look, we all got it from someone, babe.

Okay. It's not like I invented Omicron. Okay. Which is a word I learned how to pronounce today for so long you did invent it for so long i was like i am not going to learn how to pronounce another one of these fucked up covid words i'm not gonna learn how to pronounce omicron i'm not dude it sounds like i'm not learning Greek. It's a gay language. And I'm determined to live a straight life from here on out. We don't have people keep doing these anagrams. Oh, yeah.

Media control. That one. Imagine being imagine being the person who found that I would I would start soying so hard. I would kill myself. So. The kind of person who would think to even look that up as someone who's so schizophrenic that like when it worked all of their delusions were

like affirmed instant schizophrenia instant schizophrenia literally imagine being that person i would start fucking freaking out that it actually Delta and was it Delta and Omicron equal media control? Yeah I'm honestly I trust that more than I trust fucking Fauci. I Dina I will always rest on my Superstitious anagram ass fucking yeah and slogans are latino mindset anagrams are latina science absolutely absolutely there's no there's no doubting it and if you're if you're doubting that you are um

you're a latina phobic you're latinx phobic latinx phobic you're latin with an x through it instead of the end of it exactly the whole thing is crossed out the whole thing is crossed out exactly okay did you know i found this out like maybe three minutes ago and i almost started freaking out but omicron is one letter off from fromicon. Yeah. What's Maricon? Wait, guess, guess. Guess what Maricon means. Faggot? Yeah.

It means literally like Big Mary. Big Mary? Yeah. The two geysers in Spanish, well, there's plenty of geysers. The two geysers I know are Mariposa y maricon, which is butterfly and Big Mary. It is really funny how many slurs there are for gay people in Spanish. It's like how there's so many words for snow in Inuit or whatever. Or how Germans call mittens hand socks.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. like mittens, like hand socks. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Latinos have a rich, beautiful language, which they call faggots Big Marys. It'd be cool if there was a woman named Big Mary. Big Mary, yeah. That would really blow their minds. El Maria Grande.

El Maria Grande. Yeah, Maria Grande. It's Ariana Grande. blow their minds el maria grande el maria grande yeah maria grande it's ariana grande that's good that's the new slur for gay guys in spanish is calling them ariana the new slur for gay guys in spanish is vicky cristina barcelona Cristina Barcelona how do you say her last name Vergara Vergara is two letters off you take two letters off you get Vergara which is again it'd be da Vergara

like in da house yeah maybe she's Afro-Latina have you ever thought maybe maybe she's afro-latina have you ever thought of that she's afro-latina now she does not say the she says duh yeah white people should start saying the as the yes absolutely like it's like an edwardian prince or something i feel like they need to come up with their own like aave you know like their own fucked up uh like dialect of english

and that's just like shakespeare to start right yeah i mean they already had it and then they just yeah we had it yeah literally white culture has it's it's fallen so far west western civilization is taking a lot of l's yeah ever since shakespeare committed suicide by cop 1500 even on a downward swing wait i'm gonna look up more spanish homophobic slurs um my favorite um sicilian one is i really love love, Mannaggia l'America, which means, like, thanks, Obama. Wait, really? Say that again? It's Mannaggia l'America. It means, like, Mannaggia and then l'America, like, which is, like...

Thank you, America? But, like, sarcastic. Damn. Yeah, exactly. Like, damn, America. Yeah, it's an italian concept to have sex with men please ignore all the all the statues of of hot sexy men at our bath houses from the 1500s i know but literally one of the people who invented being gay yeah the country that used to be owned by the catholic church the obviously least gay like organization yeah the gayest organization david statue the straightest thing ever made absolutely literally the original human rights campaign the vatican

charlotte charlotte climber's ass would have been there at least the Greeks are honest about it you go to Greek people today and they're like yeah you know it's we're pretty with each other and it's a big part of our culture it's not a big deal

yeah well Greeks are so hot I love them Greeks are so sexy I know they're so sexy I would love to do like Bible play Bible play?

that's too hot nah I can't like pretend like pretend to be like the pretend that you're 11 years old and yes you have like 30 sons with names that are 10 syllables yes no yes i would love to do that they all have they all have beautiful pre-sugar bodies they're all sinewy they have like big eyes like symmetrical faces lean long faces beautiful hair amazing clothes they're all wearing robes and sandals the mediterranean diet at that

time hairy so skinny hairy thighs so skinny hairy thighs i don't like the hairy thigh i don't like the hairy thigh. I don't like the hairy thigh. Lean protein, a lot of stone fruits. Yes. Some greens. Stone fruits, yes. Antioxidant-rich wine. The wine made... Dennis was going trad before our very own. I'm going past trad.

I'm going prehistoric. I'm going Nazareth-style trad. They were lactose-free. They had yogurt instead. Exactly, yeah. Exactly. yeah exactly exactly yeah no big dairy no big nothing nothing was industrialized i mean imagine how amazing the sex would have been literally oh my god everyone would have been returned to tradition yeah no cigarettes no cigarettes gasping for breath exactly no covid just the plague and yeah i'm sure sex would have been bad for women

like i feel like sex back well that's why you were gay a guy like pointed at you and goes like you run it must have been so cool like instead of going to a rave you could go to like a cave where you have like an autistic woman that huffs sulfur smoke all day and tells you her dreams. Yeah, the oracle. Those were the trans women of the time. Those were the dolls. Those were the dolls.

Back then, everybody walking with a walking gaze. They're all in unison. Jesus and the 12 disciples. They have like fucking lutes and shit playing in the background. They're all in unison Jesus and the twelve disciples they have like fucking lutes and shit playing in the background they're all walking in step Jesus was the original walking gate

he was in Nazareth in a line with all his disciples now it's only five in matching outfits they were sashaying down Nazareth honey he walked it was him and Moses Moses said let my

people free they all walked in unison to a B.B. Rex a song remixed by a Pakistani 12 year old parts the Red Sea and they all are strutting. And I say

let my people go. They were all dropping Molly at the Sermon on the Mount. Yeah, Rain on Me is actually about one of the plagues. The bread and the loaves of bread and fish that he

multiplied were actually perks and molly see i'm saying this time i want to live in this world i would totally become like a um like sex nerd for doing i've become like one of these like really cringy like um bdsm poly people online but doing it for like um bible play or i'm gonna start that i really feel like that could take off i haven't seen that done before or or and of course it's been done but i haven't seen it in a pinch you could do also like uh medieval times like like oh that would be the worst sex that's like medieval times sex where the term faggot comes from like we're being burned

we need to reclaim it we go back even further than that I honestly this trad shit is on its way out trad is dead the struggle is what keeps me going I need to go in a place where I really have to struggle. I have to hustle as a man to get pussy.

It might have been very hard, but I'm sure it was even more rewarding for being hard. For being hard. You're more rewarded for being hard. For being hard, exactly. During medieval times? Yeah, because they'll be like, yeah, that's actually, that's how they treated like the gay kings who would like,

ah, fuck, like a crown prince died and like now his gay brother has to be the king. Fuck, we gotta get a white one. That is true. Or his like disabled inbred brother who can like barely see. Well, the thing about the medieval times too is that I feel like everyone smelled like like shit like it was really bad it was your shit but it goes it goes both ways it goes both ways you take one shower a month and like suddenly you're

the hottest pussy in town i don't know why you're defending this time this is like categorically the worst time to exist i don't know why you get the play you're just a fucking pig and i want to roll in shit i want to live the good life okay i want nazareth times you get found in a crowd okay you get killed by by a bunch of like police max roman police and you're sent to rome to be like you just some senators have sex with them yeah some senators yeah that's exactly that's wonderful hessa's coming with me and hessa's gonna be the town oracle and we are going to run this shit this ass is gonna be crouched over in a cage

and i'm like she'll tell your fucking she'll tell your fucking fortune for a penny Ben is getting fed grapes by like five twinks and like fanned with palms and I'm like in a cage like high off of like fumes from the earth do you want to know your fucking fortune

everyone's gonna be flying in meadow birds in the future no truly if I had a time machine i am going right to that era they should have um i i really wish there was like a gay like have you seen michael cridens or it's not michael cridens who directed that movie has a uh timeline i don't know timeline time oh i don't know oh god that's like a classic that's a classic like hbo like that and um kingdom of heaven are like oh i know evil core oh richard donner richard donner yes great movie excellent what's the one with ashton kutcher butterfly wings what is it called

butterfly wings what's it called what's it called butterfly wings butterfly effect the butterfly effect that i remember seeing that movie when i was like 11 and that was my first like oh my god like existential torment we live in a society moment i was like fuck that movie scared the hell out of me i don't really remember it besides just it being like it's shot in that like grainy filter that they shoot like anti-piracy psas in yeah that whole movie feels like ladder filter yeah i love that movie oh my god this mexican mexican soccer fan explains why puto is a gay slur he's like he's like defending this as he's like this is this is actually it is homophobic he's like no i'm being homophobic? He's like, no, I'm being homophobic when I say this. Just so you know. Sweetie, honey. And that's on T period.

Boots down the house. And that's on T period. Boots the house down. Wait, pause. Let me see other ones. What? While you're looking up, Jacques just joined us. Yeah, we should introduce.

Jacques has joined us, everyone. It's a revelation. Hi. Speaking of putas Jacques crashed the first 15 minutes we've had we have to undo it, Jacques demanding we undo it so that will be gone and we all have to

make the jokes we made earlier I left Steins I was about to order a sandwich and I ran out of Steins to come to this meeting to talk about my experience being called a maricon yes yes they got those in in louisiana oh no this is in la um me and my roommate were wearing the faggiest outfits possible to go to a party in the valley and we were walking out of our super eight

motel room and um these two women literally pointed and laughed at us and said maricones did you yell at her for telling her that you're like actually i'm not a man i was like no no soy hombre my my my thing was like well she got me i mean i did i did you severely you you have been clocked i had i had i had a race i had recently sucked dick so i felt like she she she she could smell it on your breath yeah Yeah, she used the Latin telepathy to be able to... Let's see if this can tell when people have been cummed on recently. It's like one of their powers. If you could time travel to any time where you're going, this is back only, no future.

Okay, probably... Teethman times. Probably to the time his family owned a sugar mill plantation. No. A slave. They only had the one. I would love to go back to, I don't know, maybe 1874 in Louisiana at my Peapaw Bozo's sugar plantation. We should clarify that the slave was Irish at this point.

The slaves are Irish. He did not have a black slave. We only had white slaves i'm telling y'all we just got it was just irish slaves get over here mickey why don't you get to work in them fields mickey we need some we need some sugar

cane mickey potato potato famine my ass ain't potatoes here this is sugar cane potato a day if you can't take the sugar cane down then die exactly exactly so true i would i would help you i wouldn't i would enslave the irish i would do that with you in louisiana i'm clipping this and sending it to patrick patrick's our first one yeah patrick would look good would look good in a bandana on his head.

Yeah. I don't know. What does that have to do with Irish people? He's Puerto Rican passing and he would use that to escape. If he put a bandana on his head. Patrick is not Puerto Rican passing. Okay, we're not getting into that. I was with him.

All I'm saying is that Patrick should be wearing a bandana on his head it has nothing to do with great i was with him on the subway and a guy came up to him and started speaking spanish to him i don't know why that would happen oh no man sorry sorry brother nothing on me no tango dinero caleb's tweet about that gets me every time someone retweets it on my timeline it's so good sorry what time are you going to what time are you going to what time am i going to you i asked you a question on our podcast i forgot the question you got if you could time travel to any

time what time you traveling to jesus 1984 why 1980 why 1984 okay um just just a lot of my favorite movies were coming out in theaters and i would have liked to have seen you want to time travel to a time would you bring you want to go what like 40 years back so you can watch the movies you've already seen in a theater. Hey, look, I think that's so stupid. Would you bring some crap with you? Some crap with me? Yeah, you're going to want some crap. I also want to time travel back to the era where you would have been dead in a second.

Okay. The shit you do. You would have invented a new kind of AIDS that you get through someone smelling your armpit. Thank God you are not alive then. Thank God. You would have eliminated the entire species of gay. Look, look, look. Probably for the best, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I can't think of a gay person I miss. So, you know, do people miss gay people when they die? Yes. I would say yes to that. I don't know about that. I miss JFK.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. I have found a definitive list of homophobic slurs throughout the world. Okay. Let's go through this. We've got Batty Boy,obic slurs throughout the world. Okay. Let's go through this. We've got Batty Boy, which we all love. Classic. Classic. We have Dyke, which is, okay, whatever.

That's a normal word. What country is that from? Holland? Okay, this list is so scant. We've got Batty Boy, Dyke, Fagbomb, Faggot, Fruit, Homoturn, Queen, and Sea Queens. This is all what the movie is. What's Homoturn?

What's Homoturn? It's Homoturn. I've never heard that. It's like Comitans. Like communist. Yeah, I think it was something they called like, let's see. Where's Poofter? It feels, yeah, Poofter. Poofter is a classic. it was something they called like um let's see where's poofter it feels yeah poof yeah this list is so bad let's keep going here i like how in like the 1900s it was like

there were just fairies and then just other people normal guys and fairies dressed effeminately and by dressed effeminately they mean they wore like gray suede shoes and just dressed like normal men okay dressing effeminately literally i searched this on google and all of the results were links to like un websites about how to stop homophobia i go to bing i search list of homophobic words first result homophobic words 500 words related to homophobic let's fucking go google is up google is up to something i'm telling you they do not google is run by gay people have fun oh my god okay even this one these aren't even slurs these are it's like homosexuality discrimination hate crimes xenophobia non-heterosexual

gay give us the slurs okay are we just reading different titles of chapters and um ben's autobiography xenophobia there's a chapter called xenophobia it's about the xenophobia i've faced the first sentence of xenophobia is let's talk about azerbaijanese for a minute very specific shit like that yeah um this sucks so fucking much the fact that you could not even find a list of gay slurs. I have one in the chat. Of course you were able to find one. This is your comprehensive list. This is your wheelhouse.

This is your wheelhouse for sure. Max is like coming to the back. I've got the real shit to show you. I'm excited. Let's see. It's even organized like gay men against homosexuals, against bisexual people, against androgynous people. Yo, bisexual people against androgynous people yo give me some androgynous ones should we go to okay let's start with gays yes absolutely

faggot okay and swedish i don't i'm trying i'm gonna hazard this guess it's f j o l l a fiola yeah fiola fiola there's one in another one in swedish oh whoa fiola's for effeminate masculine men and um or effeminate homosexual men and the masculine homosexual slur in swedish is whoa i'm writing these down i know literally oh. In English, a gay man who is sexually based. This is. Sorry, sexually based. Look, it says a gay man who is sexually based after the aggressive stereotype that gay men often have towards boys, which even that is homophobic. But this term is called shirtlifter, which is good.

It's just shirtlifter. It fanatically is fun to say at someone. You fucking shirt lifter that is really fun a man who is submissive in homosexual acts you call him a bardash oh i love that service in english well it comes from from prostitute bardash in french for homosexual prostitute that just sounds like an alcohol delivery service. Yeah, it sounds like the best cocktail you'll ever have.

This list is where Big Tech is finding all of the names to their retarded apps. Yeah, literally. They're like, they're in the fucking boardroom in teal industries and they're like, go to the LGBT related slurs page. We've got to make an app that shirt lifter with no e it's just an r

okay there's a uh creole slur uh also used in belize called batman which just translate to translates to butt man and i can do that accent because i'm because i'm central american but man it's just but man which is really good what you don't hear enough anymore is listed next flamer you don't hear flamer anymore i agree flamer has to be brought back because that's like fucking cool that's like a middle school one fl Flamer, flaming, extrovert. This one, extroverted and obviously homosexual men. Unless you are obviously homosexual, how dare you be called a flamer? Flamers, like the only people that called gay people that have all died of AIDS already. Well, what do you mean?

The people who were calling other people flamers are dead of AIDS? The people that are being called flamers are all dead of AIDS. We're talking old world gay. The only ones that are left are the old gays. And even then, it's not normal. Do you know what they call gay people in Louisiana? Well, that might be on the list.

What is it? Dead. Oh my god. they called you thick i've heard so many school children called you a thick-ass white boy we've told this story on the podcast um i walked past that same spot last night in st charles yeah i shed a tear i said this is where me and my friends were when the One time when we were And with the within the first like Literally the first time we left the house

We were walking on this kind of like main thorough street In New Orleans and by water I believe and A school bus full of like black Children like six Year old kids Rolled down there and jock is wearing tiny Little yellow shorts and a latex

shirt that's see-through and they roll down their windows you know how hard it is to open a fucking bus window think of this you're a four-year-old the windows are rolled up you know how hard it is to roll down the bus window when you're a child you have to push the fucking thing in your it snaps on your fingers it's it's hazardous they risked all of this they did all of this just to roll their windows down in an instant moment when they saw jock so they could scream you thick faggot it was so cool though honestly i didn't feel hated i felt seen okay we've got another one here we've got another one here daffodil for a homosexual man who is not very masculine okay so many of these are english i'm scrolling through this and english literally makes up 90 of the slurs on this list

i want to find like a 40s one that i don't know like raspberry jones yeah yeah something joe biden called everyone okay flit is very good again for a homosexual man who's not masculine these are all bottom slur slurs well that's because bottoms are you know yes yes there's one there's literally one slur for a top here, and that is machobong. I've been calling. I've been saying that for years. Machobong. We need more.

It's M-A-C-H-O-B-O with an umlaut G. If you have any Swedish people. Oh, macho. Macho. Yeah. Machobong. I'm trying to... How do you find the list list i'm trying to find the

it's in the zoom chat i'm trying to find the slurs for trans people jock one of there is a home of english slur nola what is it as in new orleans nola i'm not stupid i know but what's what's what what's the slur that is the slur that's what i'm telling you that nola is listed here as a slur okay steamer nola literally is just a shortening for new orleans so jock it was on this list as a word apart from that definition okay we have an issue with that you can take that up i just checked in this list is just a list that used to be on wikipedia but is now deleted because oh the trend the one against trans women has that you're gonna have to do this one and this is why we added has to do the podcast okay i can i can do this i can

do these okay we have tranny classic yeah we have shim which is a portmanteau of she and him. Love. We have HeShe, which is one letter off my name, which I think is very funny. I knew you did this on purpose. I didn't do it on purpose. I can bet you a billion dollars that you did this on purpose. And you know what? I respect it.

It's cool. Good for you. For someone to mispronounce Hess's name, not like hessy or to pronounce it mispronounce your name and then you'd be like at least you're not mr pronouncing it am i right exactly exactly me and max talk after the episode sometimes and one time when hessa first started he was like man does she know it's basically almost pronounced he-she? It's like Max.

The last slur for trans women on this list is it. Which is very funny. No. Okay, I'm seeing one that is kind of even more rude for and i can say this because none of these are slurs a trans woman the slur is trans identified male the acronym tim which is so cruel yeah to have the acronym be a man's name yeah oh my god the dick girl lady boy we've got oh my god the trans masculine are hilarious cunt boy

okay the english the english need to fucking chill one of these one of these for a trans man is he female. He female. He female. It doesn't even work. The shim rolls off the tongue like nothing else. He female is so clunky. Fence sitter. I saw fence sitter.

I saw fence sitter. Oh, my God. Against bisexual people. There are only two here. Jacques. What are they? It's AC, AC slash DC,

which I've heard that. I've heard that before. I've heard that switch hitter. None of these are terms. They need to have better terms for like bisexual people and better stories for bisexual people. Let's think of some stories to bisexual people. Liar. One liar. One faggot. Let's think of some slurs to bisexual people Liar One Liar one

Two faggot Three dyke All of the slurs are just All of the slurs are the slurs that go to Real sexualities Shut up Y'all are so friggin Are there bisexual slurs? They just get bullied but there's no slurs Y'all are so friggin' rude.

Are there bisexual slurs? They just get bullied, but there's no slurs. It's not a real sexuality, so of course it's going to get it. The fact that there is not a real bisexual slur, there is not a definite, there's faggot, you have dyke, you have other ones. But the fact there is no one for bi's shows that so clearly,

more than anything else, that it's not a real identity. Okay, I'm looking at... We have to think of one. We have to think of one. Something that fanatically has the punch of faggot or even shirtlifter. List of LGBT slang terms. I'm on Wikipedia. Liar.

I mean, liar is so good. Gillette Blade is... what if we call them What if we call them Biliars Biliars I thought you were going to say we call them the leftovers No Like the HBO series

The leftovers Everyone's raptured with that Yeah I don't know if the argument you want to make here Is gay people are going to be saved of leftovers. Everyone's raptured with that. Yeah. I don't know if the argument you want to make here is gay people are going to be saved before you because that just doesn't really make any sense. But yeah, the leftovers would be

very funny. I have the anagram. Junkies. You can call bisexual people junkies. I don't know. It needs to be. It people junkies I don't know it needs to be it needs to have uh that's already it needs to be sexuality specific that's already a term I wish people called me a cunt boy I think that would be a cool term for me and not for a trans male change your name to that change my name to cunt boy and then make people say it because if people are like oh i don't really feel comfortable saying this name you can be like oh

you don't want to say a trans woman's name that makes it makes you uncomfortable what do you want to call me my dad name you want to dead name me your name is cunt boy. Oh, my God. Wait, side note. My friend had the worst time at a bar last night in New Orleans. First, they walked up to her, and they asked her, okay, but what was the name you were born with since you were a man first? Oh, my God. And I was like, okay, how could you even stay at this bar after this?

Then another person walked up to her and said okay like but how big is it i'm like oh my god people are so people have no coup people are so rude people are so rude in life should we get to the melania nfts yes because i love melania's nfts she okay i don't know anything about this i you have to see they're literally it is just one and it's the the it was her i don't know if you ever followed melania on twitter but her twitter used to be fucking amazing her um cover photo was just a picture of her eyes so close to her camera it was just her eyes yeah i remember that and she and it was it's her kind of signature squinty gaze okay and i'm looking at it now nft is just a watercolor of what was

what did used to be her twitter cover it's stunning it is so stunning and the piece is called, it's called Melania's Vision. I love her so much. I literally love her so much. She said, I'm so proud to announce my new NFT endeavor, which embodies my passion for the arts and will support my ongoing commitment to children through my Be Best initiative. Oh my God.

I completely forgot about Be Best. And also she said, she said a portion okay this is the craziest part to me because it's literally those jokes that are like oh just learn how to code a portion of the proceeds from the sale will go to educating children aging out of foster care and computer science skills though it's unclear how though it's unclear how large that portion will be they didn't even dedicate a certain percentage or publicize the percentage they were just like we're going to teach a couple like post foster care kids how to how to code that's so bleak that's so fucked up we're gonna buy a foster child a raspberry pie and call it even yeah hopefully one of those foster kids can fucking make a website that compiles all of the

fun homophobic slurs hopefully i i mean to be fair like they never i feel like they never like none of these like charity like endeavors by any kind of big like politicians or anything they never say really how much they're gonna give to charity or anything yeah but like i think march of dimes is the biggest charity scam of all and the susan g coman thing susan g coman's probably like they What's Susan G Komen? That's the breast cancer one. Some fucking dyke. Who cares about titties?

It's complete and total scam. But they're dropping another NFT and then it's even more than this. Melania is starting a whole fucking platform. It's going to be so sick. The next launch will be in January and it it's offering three elements a digital artwork a physical artwork and a physical one-of-a-kind accessory accessory what's the accessory uh what's the alarm going on in the

background is that you sirens oh yeah it's science and people dying they're finally arresting that's playing grand no uh ben would not be playing grand the thought because i got in so much big trouble before you joined for playing grand the thought oh during recording oh my gosh trouble oh my gosh yeah ben almost rippedjocked in front of the audience. Oh my gosh. I just asked Jock that if we're going to record that he doesn't have 90% of his attention distracted by

something else because it's kind of rude to do two co-hosts who invited you on their show and is making you money to show up and contribute nothing because you're playing i was contributing so much no one even literally said nothing the entire episode no people sent me a lot of messages saying that was one of my best episodes yeah a one person that was you on your alt account that you use on your black to send yourself compliments because

you know you won't remember them when you're sober bitch last time i was doing it ben was like bro can you just like not like bro this is serious it was so funny ben is getting mortified right now yeah i'm just you know we had an episode that was that was you know going on track it was good it's funny words to have topics yeah well no one said you can't talk about take it over take the show over okay so the the let's make it about your friend getting misgendered at a bar no shut up shut the fuck up look don't give me don't ben is making this face like life yes okay just checking i have underwear on i'm not gonna be nude for y'all jock is podcasting from bed again and and moved a little bit and all i could see was thigh this is not an only fans live action uh production so look anyway ben is really sad about not talking about malanias and i'm literally i'm fine he's

crying you don't have to hold your tears back for the audience they don't understand ben i'm not crying they will they're not crying they're not they're not gonna think that you're less masculine, Ben. Ben, cry too. No, but seriously. But seriously. But seriously. Those NFTs look so stupid. It's like, I can't take any NFT that's done in watercolor seriously.

True. I can't take any of them seriously. They're all garbage. They're all garbage. Yeah, they're all... I have not seen like a single cool one. The apes were cool for like a hot second really like i thought they were great no no of course i didn't what the fuck no man if you actually check out the early apes they were so good the early apes before keith joined the band were so good the jams were amazing they knew

they had a great keyboardist the sleepy sloth weed ape man like before they sold out that nft was so before he got me too holy shit before the apes got me too i wanted to make it i wanted to make an nft that was just the screenshot of scott bixby's home address the inside of his fridge yeah yeah yeah his leather fridge leather fridge is that your is that your friend's house or something no it's it's fine um i wanted to do that but um i was a little worried about uh like legal issues so i don't think i can wait he has a leather fridge he has a leather fridge yeah yeah yeah it's like one of those it's like

um it's like suede leather or something it's like like brown um it's yeah it's just like very disgusting it's like how um like in suburban homes you have those fridges that look like that they're finished with wood instead of like stainless steel so they look like a cupboard yeah it's like that but it's leather and it's because he has so much leather in his apartment it's just like blends seamlessly into the rest of his room it's really really funny you should do a picture of the leather fridge as an nft it's crazy i mean like people i know people who like friends of mine who made like 10k overnight on nfts like you can make so much money crazy amount of money can we can we make a gumbo uh

recipe nft you can make anything in nft you can make anything in nft literally yeah nft let's make the gumbo video on nft i got the gumbo recipe that's all cayenne pepper it fucking sucks but hey it's five thousand dollars literally i mean this is exactly milani is doing it she's gonna make fucking bank and tell send one foster kid to coding school. I'm googling the leather fridge and it looks so fugly. It looks like a book that's too big.

A book that keeps things cold inside. Well, it's going to send one Puerto Rican kid to SUNY Stony Brook. Yeah. So. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What was the other stuff we were going to talk about?

Nothing. Just NFTs. So wait, there's no way that... Just to confirm, there's no way that we could do an NFT without being losers and making us morally unsound. Are we morally sound? We already charged for a podcast. I don't think we're that much better than people who make nfts to be honest i don't know how you

think you're morally sound you once scammed a cancer patient out of a beanie baby beanie baby collection collection several beanie babies we've covered this on the show we're not getting back into it we are not getting back into it we're not not getting back into it. We're not rehashing episodes we've already done. Just for the record, that's something you did. So don't talk about morality. I scammed a cancer patient's friend. There's a difference. No.

You scammed the patient. Maybe the friend was an intermediary here. But you scammed a cancer patient through their friend, which is maybe even worse because now they have beef out of a beating baby sir look look i'm i'm ben ben apologize no he said it with an x i'm not going to apologize oh my god i refuse to apologize ben is such a fucking turd burglar. This is so stupid. Another English slur. Yeah, another slur for a gay person.

A turd burglar. That's actually good. Fudgepacker, which has always disgusted me. It sounds like a football. It sounds like steampunk. Fudgepacker, which has always disgusted me because of my timid ways. That's you, Ben.

Nice. Ben hates playing in the mud. I do hate playing in the mud. Me, on the other hand, I'm a little piggy. Do we want to talk about the human trafficking woman? I love her. I love her and she's right.

You definitely... Max, you'll stitch in some audio here, right? Absolutely. woman i love my god i love her and she's she's right and you definitely okay there's this max you'll put you'll stitch in some audio here absolutely since i've been having to quarantine again um i've been getting addicted to tiktok i watch a lot of tiktok now which i'd not i've never allowed myself to do beforehand because i knew it would just open up this void of time every day um but it truly is like 20 of the women on tiktok all either look like marjorie taylor green or kristin cinema and they are all they're all making videos about how they're stopping human trafficking and then you scroll like to the next one and it's like and this is why you boil your period blood and you rub it all over your face and And that's what Big Pharma doesn't want you to know, is that this is actually one of the most effective products for curing COVID.

And it's like, oh my God, like these people are like assaulting every like parent-child coupling they see because they believe someone's being human trafficked. Yeah, this video is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. This is what I saw. He had his hand around her waist and was holding her hand when they walked in. It struck me as really odd, but then I left and put my groceries away anyway. I'm sitting there and then just hit me. You have to go back and check on this girl. I go back in and they're in line at the pharmacy. 100% she's giving me hand signals, which I interpret as I need help. So I approach her and say, hey, you're about my niece's age. What nail polish color do you like better? And then I was like,

oh my God, I love your dress top shirt thing that you have going on. Where did you get that? Her dad did the talking the entire time. So at that point, he turns around to talk to the pharmacist. I pulled out my mask and I say, do you need help? She said no, really quietly, but that wasn't good enough for me. So I touched her shoulder and I said, are you okay? Do you need help? She said no again. So I had to accept that. So I started to leave and then her dad came after me to confront me. Part two, dad continues to talk with the pharmacist and I go to a manager who then goes to the pharmacist and confirms that this girl is here with her guardian. So I'm with the manager and the dad slash guardian comes up to me and says, why did

you say that to her? And I was playing dumb. Like, why did I say what? And then he says, what made you think that she wasn't okay? And I said, you know, it was when you walked in the door and you were holding hands and that looked odd to me it's so good it's so good and it like it's so actually like sums up what is going on in like like suburban women's brains yeah these women are like one one bad day away from like shooting their mailman literally

literally guys boys shoot up schools women believe that like everyone around them is human trafficking each other they rub GHB on the FedEx label literally literally

there'll be times in Lafayette where my friend's paranoid mom would like we'd be going to the grocery store and she'd be like jacques y'all do not uh get parked next to a white van yeah yeah and we're like we're like why and they're like you're gonna get abducted i'm like if if someone's abducting me they're dropping me out of the van midway, noticing. It's like, please, please, I'll pay you to take him. I'll pay you. Get this one off my hands.

I'm like, it's so nice to meet you guys. These are some nice burlap saps. Where are you guys taking me? I love you. Thank you for being my new friends. Y'all got candy in that burlap sack? Hey, y'all got some po-boys in this van? Is this blindfolded animal?

Any crawdads? Any crawdads? Hey, y'all got crawdads in the back? I thought if y'all would be kidding at me, I'd be fed at least. This woman is like, she tells a story about how she is in a Walmart. Well, she opens with, I think, so funny. She opens with, I think I stopped human human trafficking a human trafficker today or i think i saved a human trafficking victim today and it's like okay the story that follows is no the story that follows is literally her recounting the story of her traumatizing a little girl

her traumatizing a girl and freaking the fuck out of her father she's like she's like yeah and so she was making hand signals at me she was making hand signals girl it's like the things four-year-old like people like kids do like when they're they're not a fidgeting they do you know like yeah also what is the hand signal she says and she's making hand signals that mean i knew she was in trouble this kid was four years old signal 10 years old but what is the hand signal even 10 it's it's a closed fist with a finger inside like the closed or like the thumb fucking that's fucking no no no no no just just the thumb human trafficking is just the thumb in your index No, no, no, no, no. Just the thumb. Just the thumb in your fist.

No, no, no, no, no. In the same hand, dumbass. You're not making the fucking motion. No, because she said she was making the V sign. Making hand signals. So it wasn't a specific hand signal, Max. It was just she was moving her hands.

They were claiming this this block for the crips okay and they were not getting abducted it turns out that child was in a game the child was just a kid doing naruto hand things and this woman literally literally she goes up to the girl and then she starts asking the girl like insanely inappropriate questions she's like i love your nail polish i love your lipstick i love your clothes where you get it from it's like what the if someone came up to like she's the predator she is the predator absolutely she is like like like she's just trying to disguise herself as saving someone because she was the predator and she got caught and so she like the, um, the girl, um, is like, she's like, do you need help?

And the girl says, no, I'm fine. And then she's like, okay. I had to respect her. No, but I did ask her again when her dad had her back turned, I moved my mouth, my mask down and I mouthed at her. Are you okay? And she said, yes. And she was like, so I had to let her be.

And so that's why I went up to the manager. And I told the manager. She literally went Karen mode on this human trafficker. She was like, we don't know what she told the manager, but she went to the manager and was like, I think this child is being human trafficked and

something must be done about this. Yeah, like literally. That child is about to be raped to death in your store god why would you say that to my daughter literally she's like oh i was just gonna say it oh go ahead she the fact that she at one point equates that the the father and the daughter are holding hands and that's a giant sign of trafficking i just like so yeah i'm like god give me this that is what true like crime i think is doing people and i think that it's also just what like tiktok is doing because there's been there have been so many like human trafficking like like stunts on tiktok remember the wayfarer cabinet i need to see them

i need to see some of them oh there was that woman uh that like astrologer person one of my favorite posts ever posted if y'all think an aries moon a moon and aries is a joke think again someone broke into my house and tried to traffic me last night oh my god that's so funny but like one of the best sweets ultimately it like it it is like so sad because there is a huge problem with human trafficking and people know that there's a problem with this but yet there's like no there's nothing you can actually do to like stop this and like the government isn't going to do anything to mediate this law enforcement of course is like either complicit or apathetic to solving this problem so people are just siloed off into this like you know like tiktok activism

you know quote unquote where they are just fully schizophrenic yeah like telling a wall like do you remember like do you remember that house that was like a human trafficking like house and that whole neighborhood was like filming it and like the police were like taking children out of it and like oh yes this was like early during like uh black lives matter like this was right before the canoes not kenosha but like right before the the big quote-unquote riots or whatever yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that was fucking crazy whatever happened is that what happened after that nothing i don't know actually yeah what did happen right it was that that woman went in and uh liberated

all the children yeah that woman so it's also like so q adjacent and like q is so um powerful not like of course like within their ranks they have like you know that like almost militarized following of course like liberal media i think blows this way out of proportion but like q like the theory of q has been fed to so many people through osmosis on facebook like you can be q without knowing what q is now through just like 17 reposts and you have like the original like q language filtered out or something or shared through someone who isn't cued into this stuff like i i really feel like there are so many like suburban women and men and like teens who are like functionally q yeah my my friend's aunt got kicked off of facebook for posting

too many q anon things so she changed her name from suzy to salu thinking thinking that that that would be the way she hit from Facebook. Yeah. Well, is she on Facebook now? Oh, yes. So it did work for her. It did work. The COVID post.

Sometimes that's all it takes. She was the person that I screenshotted and put on the instagram for posting the uh omicron is uh actually spells moronic oh yeah there's also that one i love that one that one's really good and then there's also one that's um covid19 something and they get islam out of it oh my god they probably do it through numerology or something insane like that that's that's my favorite bit of like q lore what should we find let's let's run this out on finding some anagrams i'm gonna okay i'm gonna search i'm gonna find one for jock fat i'm skinny right now, man.

Fuck you. Facts. One of the anagrams is facts. Okay, let's do bend, bitch. Wait, how do you do anagrams? I'm just on an anagram solver website. Bend, bitch gets to bitchin. Ethnic.

If you take off the key. What's the N word stand for? Put they, them, pussy in there. They, them, pussy. Okay, let's see. This results in temptists. Temptists?

Yeah. Meetups. It's all very horny. Let's find a good one. I want more of a sentence here. Yeah. I mean, it's hard. I feel like it's very hard.

Anagram is one of the hardest things. Anagram is one of the hardest things you could do. They, them, pussy. Let's see. Hypes smut they. Hypes they tums. Hey. Loser hypes dead parents.

What can we do for seeking arrangements? That's a lot of words. I feel like that's a good mix. Oh my god, you'd type like a secretary. Yeah, Max types very fast. Deer skin engagements. Deer skin engagements.

That's us. That's us. Deer hunters. Deer skin engagements. Yeah. Deer skin engagements yeah um skin engagements agnes and gender kismet oh kismet i love kismet okay what if we did one let's think of another phrase okay let's do um let's do joe biden do joe biden i want to see what joe biden brings up sleepy little man sleepy little man i don't i don't think

the letters work out no i know i'm just saying he's a sleepy little man he is a sleepy little man you can't argue that would you vote for um biden or trump i voted for biden a like in 20 let's say okay well biden won't run again it's probably going to be kamala and pete versus trump who are you voting for hillary you're writing in hillary writing in hillary no no that's what i'm doing wait wait no wait i made that joke during during the last election i had so many people get mad at me i like tweeted out something that i was like y'all she can still win if you vote for her and like change my obby to look like a hill bot and i had so many i got so many dms that are like this is not productive they're like don't write in it don't write in hillary no i'm like guys she can still be president if we vote for her who do i get to vote for again

kamala and pete camala and or pete because it'll be one of them probably or hillary again honestly because they're saying i found a good one for hillary clinton okay let's go let's go horny clit love okay max i'm gonna keep going until you can find another one okay you keep doing anagrams why anagram while I quiz Jock. Jock. Yes. It's either going to be Hillary, Pete, or Kamala.

Okay. Okay, wait, wait. I know who I want to go for then. Okay, what? Pete Davidson. Pete Buttigieg. Pete Davidson. Pete Buttigieg, Kamala Harris, the current vice president, Hillary Clinton, the renowned world loser, or Donald Trump.

Who are you voting for? Come on. Come on. Who are you voting for? I'll give you an answer. Okay. Give me an answer. Trump.

I'm going to vote for... I want to vote for Vern. Oh, Vermin? Vermin Supreme. Yeah. Vermin? Vermin Supreme. Yeah, I'm a Vermin Supreme. I love that I know you meant Vermin Supreme by you saying Vern. I'm going for Vermin.

I do love Vermin Supreme. I don't mean to be rude, but I have to use the bathroom. I'm going to die. I'm going to go. Are you going pee or poo? Poo, duh. You're going poo poo okay jocks jocks gumbo tutorial his beautiful amazing oscar-winning gumbo tutorial thank you so much um later today later today what you think call him beautiful um jock will mail you servings of his gumbo

for how much are you selling the gumbo for, Jock? $1,000. $1,000. Jock will mail you through USPS a package that has dry ice in it so the gumbo is still good. I love y'all. I'm gonna die. My stomach hurts so bad. No, Jock, come on. Hang out for a little bit longer. No, no, no.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. I was trying to keep mere deletionist fans. See, I wouldn't want that to happen because then he would quit. We were close, though. He literally ran away. He ran. Scampered, scampered. Yeah, he was holding it in.

Okay, one last one. Donald Trump, Poland drum. Oh drum oh my god that's an anagram i'm hearing jock yell at someone in the bathroom someone's in the bathroom he's screaming his pants for baby oh no oh he probably he probably all your fault if you'd let him go like five seconds prior how much do you want to bet like someone who went into the bathroom like right before you know i think that's what i would feel terrible no it's time to shit in the sink baby okay all right should we should we end it there yeah yeah i got a food baby of my own i ate

five pounds worth of McDonald's. Maybe I'll get McDonald's. I'm back on my clean eating shit, y'all. Yeah, maybe I'll eat two McDonald's today. Don't do that, Hessa. Don't do that. Don't do that. I'm going to do it. You're going to poop out a brick after that.

Jesus Christ. I don't even care. I don't even care. I'm dying anyways. An entire Jen Shaw coming out of your ass. I'm dying from COVID anyways. I don't even care. I'm going to game so fucking hard.

Hassell, let's play Halo tonight. When I get my computer fixed. When I get it back from the shop. I'm going to call them and see when it's going to be done. I need to play Halo with my gay friend. Yeah. He needs my protection. Alright, bye guys.

I love you. Playing Halo with my gay. All right. Bye, guys. I love you. Playing Kiel with my hay friend. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. ¶¶ ¶¶

¶¶ I'm calling you, but you don't answer I know you're calling, but you've changed your name Black life is the most sublime dress To have fun ¶¶ Thank you. Bye. Bye. Bye.