Seeking Derangements - SD 107 - teh bibble >.> (Celebrity Book Club with Steven & Lily)

Episode Date: December 26, 2021

ben's trad now (he read the wikipedia entry for each book in the bible) and is looking for an annoying white woman who he can wear shawls to church with.

Celebrity Book Club Who's that knocking at the door? It's all your friends, you filthy whore Your husband's gone and we've got books and a bottle of wine to kill It's Hollywood It's books It's gossip

I'm shook It's memoirs It's martinis It's Studio 54 It's martinis Celebrity Book Club. Come read it while it's hot. Celebrity Book Club.

Tell your secrets, we won't talk. Celebrity Book Club. No boys are allowed. Celebrity Book Club. Say it loud and proud. Celebrity Book Club. Buzz me in, I brought the Cuervo. Hey, best friend.

Let's do this. Let's fucking do this. Welcome to Celebrity Book Club. The COVID edition. Celebrity Book Club. That's my impression of your theme song. Wow, gorgeous voice. Damn, y'all go to Juilliard with those pipes?

I'm that girl in the shower. She never sings and then you hear it in a locker room and you're like, who's singing right now? Please don't say the word locker room around me. It's actually extremely triggering as someone who has not watched Colton's reality show yet. I have watched a few episodes and it is surprisingly yum. Like yum as in like you're turned on by what a beefcake he is yum as in like it's funny because it's like so denver and just like brewery oh it's like him like being introduced to just like the greater world of like denver p-town gays who were like tight heather gray t-shirts that have like the logo of a brewery

on them and he's like coming out to his super cheesy cheryl crow denver mom in her condo in aspen or whatever and it's like overlooking shops and restaurants so good good for him and you know that colorado has like a gay governor jerry polis i did know that yeah and he's like such a c-list gay patagonia guy he's such a patagonia gay and he's so like his growth profile like is like connected to his husband's it's like one of those partnered with oh we play together and alone um and he's just like big verse bottom energy i mean governor is like the most verse bottom job yeah because governors it's like you don't have that much power mayors i think you have more power than governors at the end of

the day what are you doing up there okay so we i have coveted yeah um and i just want to let our viewers know and if you if you are immunocompromised do turn off the podcast now because it's extremely contagious but if you're listening mask up and enjoy and the irony is that i did get it at madame tussauds where we went for my birthday which i guess is not so much ironic as it is like expected it's expected because it's like times square is a big kind of um hub of travelers if you will and i honestly it was worth it and i would do it again 35 bucks if you haven't gone to two soads there's a bar in the venue um you're really allowed to like manhandle all the figures the security is very lax right i wonder if the bar kind of contributed to and as i was telling you i so this contact tracer called me and I was like completely obsessed with her and she was obsessed with me.

And at one point in the conversation, she was like, okay, like, where did you go? And I was like, well, I went to Madame Tussauds and then I went to Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville and then I went to the Sparkle the Patriot done. And I was like telling her the day before my symptoms started. And she was like, you have such good taste. I want to go to all these places. And was like i do have really good taste it's like she does a tiktok my perfect day in new york it's like two so it's patriot she goes to patriot she's like someone told me about this on the phone um i love it anyway i have not as we have the same day, and I have not contracted it yet. And then you trendset it

and we had to cancel our amazing live show that we had planned. That show has been rescheduled for January 29th. And if for some reason you're a hater and you don't want to go anymore, we will give you a refund for sure. And that will be processed through Eventbrite. It's happening again.

And we're gonna have even that much more fun january 29th i uh speaking of covid yep i want i want to get to the meat of this of this episode uh which is um having another covid full guest i'm the only one on this recording right now for the first time in celebrityity Book Club history, the majority of our participators do have COVID. We have another folk joining us today to discuss this week's book.

This folk is one of the most influential, radical, absolutely, completely radical, anarchist, controversial, has read magazines, has Radical. Absolutely, completely radical. Controversial. Controversial. Has read magazines, has lived in cities as diverse as from New York to Denver.

This person is a militant homosexual. Radical homosexual. Dozens of people. Say this folk and i share a accountant if oh well actually and i i am the first one to actually invent our accountant or i'm not the person but i gave i gave him to you or no wait did you give him to me i gave him to you wow we all use the same oh a man taking credit for an accountant recommendation how typical we all use the same sketchy accountant yes this person is famously

was famously fired from a job but I do believe has another job now congratulations of course we're talking about Twitter impresario t-shirt creator t-shirt maker mustache haver ladies and gentlemen Bernie X-naffer

talking about Ben Mora cough it up ladies cough it up let's go I will say this introduction was much much more forgiving than the last time I was on which was nuked by the way in which you

I believe called me fat you did not you're projecting no the only person who can call you fat is yourself and that is something that i have always said gay bitch the amount of time steven has like called me fat or insinuated that i like m fat you know it just it comes out of his mouth. So this is an abusive relationship. Yes. You are entering into an abusive relationship and that's the toxic dynamic. That's how conflict is not abuse.

Quote Kamala Harris, Kamala Harris queen. Well, I mean, we, we're going to talk. I mean, we did record this. We did. I'm going to, I'm going to leak that. We did record this and I'm going to leak that we did record this. And we. You love to leak.

The leakiest bitch. In the boat. Loose lips sink ships. And did Bernie win? No he didn't. He did not. I'm sorry. And you were fired from the Bernie campaign.

For saying that like. Hillary sucked. Hillary should be like murdered. We should murder Hillary. Every Elizabeth Warren supporter is just like a pathetic Lyme disease girl. God looks so far up their ass. And look at you now. You're doing a podcast about books.

Look at the Warrenista now. My gay frenemy. As you were mentioning, we did actually record this episode last week. Do you think it was God's work? Absolutely. God smiled us down. So the episode we're doing this week is The Bible. The Bible, written

by the biggest celebrity ever, and the first celebrity ever. God. And we were Sorry, I need to correct this here. Oh, Zeus? Is Muhammad not the biggest celebrity? No. I didn't hear about Muhammad until I was like 12 years old. What are you talking about?

Islam is the most popular religion on Earth. A, I don't think that's true. I do think Christianity has more followers in total if you combine all the different Christianities. That's not fair, though, because they all hate each other. Oh, and famously, Islam has no, like, internecine battles. There's no conflict

in Islam. Conflict is not abuse, Muhammad. No, I mean, I'm sure it's total culturalism. It depends on where you are in the world. Well, here's the thing, though. What's interesting is Muhammad is not God in Islam. He was just, he's like culturalism. It depends on where you are in the world. Well, here's the thing, though. What's interesting is Muhammad is not God in Islam. He was just, he's like the Jesus. He was like a person.

I just think it'd be good for your career if you got like Charlie Hebdo'd. And you would love that. So our pretty would just come in and say, we've got Christianity's got 2.3 billion. Islam's got 1.9. What now? All right, I stand corrected.

I apologize. Ilan Omar over here trying to start shit as usual. So we're doing the Bible again, even though God smited us down, there were some technical difficulties. Yeah, so we lost a whole hour of gold. A few days came to pass, and it came to happen that God said,

my sons, Stephen and Bed, children of Cain and Abel, children of Adam and Eve. Shall be giveth COVID. Producer Meg, daughter of Zedahiah, who is the descendant of Eve, also shall be giveth COVID. And the Pharaoh Lily said... Okay, the Pharaoh Lily was somehow immune to COVID death. Yeah, what did you do to miss the COVID beam from God?

I went to the middle of Prospect Park. And I said, God, let's have a chat. I'm thinking like we, this might be, the COVID diagnosis that we got were like a first plague. Now the COVID diagnosis that are going on everywhere is kind of like the second. And now we're rerecording this blasphemy. Okay, but here's the thing about God. Everything is a test with her. So just like every single thing he does is like, oh, it's actually a test to make sure that like you were faithful and so like every plague is actually like a good thing and you actually just like need to keep going so it's like it's almost as if he's like daring us to continue recording

the podcast he's not saying that the podcast is bad he's saying like oh no actually i think it's great that you guys are potting and i think that's like a really interesting career choice for you and i want you to keep doing it and that's why i'm actually fucking up your recording and giving you covet to see if you're actually serious about potting because if you were then you'll do it again and you'll go down to like the river euphrates yes and like and you will read the testament even more and you will study further do a second like stone carving and your life's truth will just unravel before you yeah and you'll never stop potting. Right, he wanted to give us,

yes, I said he, God is a man. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, God is a man, but let's- Okay, Stephen, that cough was so dramatic. Stephen literally clutched his heart like he was gonna die. No, you guys, guys no i'm fine i'm fine i'm really i'm fine i'm fine i'm okay don't worry me and steven should have a cough off i'll judge okay let's go. Cough off.

Steven's going the old man route. I went sexy baby route. I will say, Steven, I do think you are hamming it up. But so far, I actually do think Steven's winning because I was making him just laugh hysterically the other day. Here we go. To rag.

Anecdote. Yeah. And the coughs were sounding real. And I was like, damn, I'm almost tempted to drop off like yummy pho to you. And that almost. Almost. And then did not. And lo, the Judith.

Judith over here. And then did not. And did not. And lo, the Judith Lily did not. Judith's over here. Not one soup offer during my COVID. Really? Not literally one soup offer. Okay, food. Let's get into it. Bible stuff.

Soup, not really mentioned. It's more about bread and lamb. It's bread, lamb. Yeah. I feel like they don't even hit on wine that much. Oh, wait. I have a new quote. You have a new quote?

Yeah, because I did. You have a new quote. I have a new Bible quote for you guys about wine. Okay, let's go. God literally is such a skinny bitch, though. God goes full Regina George with the food laws. The food is insanely specific. You cannot fit with us. This is from Deuteronomy.

God said, or the Bible said, and we'll discuss who's writing that, thou shalt plant a vineyard and not reap the grapes. So what are we doing with the grapes, then? Why? I don't think you can reap

your own grapes it's very like don't get high oh like hire a slave yeah okay slavery is huge in the bible it's very pro-slave canaanite to come and reap those grapes for you honey and then they sell the wine but then it's like well you're not then tasting your own wine and you don't know how it tastes i think that's bad business yeah Yeah. Bad Psalm practice to do that. Okay. Wait. So here, okay.

I'm also in, in Deuteron. Um, again, so this comes back to the, I think the eating disorder part. Yeah. That shall not eat any abominable thing.

There are beasts, which you shall eat the ox, the sheep and the goat, the heart and the Roebuck and the fallow deer and the wild goat and the purr gag and the wild ox and the Shamwa and every beast that parted the hoof and cleave with the cleft with two claws and chew with the chamois and every beast that parteth the hoof and cleaveth the cleft with two claws and cheweth the cud among the beasts that ye shall eat but ye shall not eat of them that chew the cud or that divide the cloven hoof so it's just like if you have these like

devil hooves you can't eat the meat or you can't eat like the cud of the meat is this where kosher comes in i'm guessing this seems this also okay this is either like hot mean anorexic girl or like incredibly anxious nebbish jew i think he's both in this way or it's like maybe he's like a jewish american princess yeah god is a jab god is a jab thank you for saying god is a jab like pouring diet coke on his salad when he's halfway done so he won't eat the rest of it eating a saltine and a lemon i also think though that the bible is a little bit like the bible basically presents itself as being this like decree from god and like he said all this shit and like he was the first person

to like ever come up with anything but i also feel like the Bible is just kind of just like reflecting the trends of the time. And like, it's actually just like a little bit more of just like a random blog. Cause it's like, he's like, and these are what you shall not eat. You shall not eat the Eagle and the ossifrage.

And it's like, well, no one's eating. He's a lifestyle influencer. Yeah. He's, he's a lifestyle, like in like a fake,

like TikTok microfluencer where it's just like, well, no one was eating eagle before you said don't eat eagle. So, like, thanks for the hot tip. Oh, okay, fine. We won't do eagle this year for Christmas. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, there's also another moment to back up to God as, like, a teen girl theory where he appears to moses in the form of the burning bush and right just as a burning bush does not announce himself as god and he you know is yelling

at moses he's like you gotta do all this stuff blah blah you have to issue these decrees for me you have to make everyone skinny you have to do this you have to do this and moses is just like who are you like why why would i do you? You're just a talking burning bush. And God never says, I am God. He just says, I am who I am, which is so Midwestern teen girl with chunky eyeliner. Oh, right. Yeah, no. He just says, I am who I am.

I am who I am. Evidence. I am who I am, and I won't change for anyone. The Live Journal. Sorry, the Bible is a Live Journal. It's a Live Journal. And it's like the post, I am who I am and I won't change for anyone. The live journal. Sorry, the Bible is a live journal. It's a live journal and it's like the post. I am who I am. And then it's just like lyrics I wrote last night.

I am who I am. You are who you are. I am who I am. LL Bean covered in patches. Yes, yes, yes. It's like a girl who thinks she's going to be Taylor Swift. Oh, no, I'm thinking darker than that. Darker.

No, but there is a Taylor Swift because there's obviously like there's such a prudishness. Let's just say it. This book is extremely anti-sex. And yet, obviously, like, so horny. Yeah, let's say it. So horny. Yeah. Of course, let's go there. Sorry.

Yes, I'm going to call the Bible sex negative. Yeah, okay. It's so easy for us in 2021 like whatever like you know in a post-monica lewinsky world to like call out the bible for being sex negative but it's just like it's sex negative in a in a very weird way where it's just like there's shame injected to every possible interaction well do you think god is a cuck no god is like a dom that doesn't fuck yeah right he's sitting in a chair being like now fuck her yeah kind of okay so there's the scene where no uh after the flood

he's like back in the desert or whatever with his sons. God murders everyone. God murders everyone in the earth. God is a bitch. Just because he's like, we need to just renovate the earth. Like we need to just like, I want to redo this entire thing. I hate it. No, it's so Property Brothers where it's like,

there's actually really good bones here. And he's like, no, let's do this like weird, paint over this fireplace. Paint over the entire. We're redoing Noahah's ark we're actually getting bamboo flooring for the ark yeah we're going full grayscale uh barn bar door okay i do want to talk about his wood choices because this book is so reclaimed wood but he so one night noah gets really wasted off of wine he falls asleep in his tent and his like sons find him naked and they're so ashamed of his naked body

that they do this weird thing where they back up with a sheet and he literally describes it in the book is like and then they like walked backwards with a sheet to like lay the sheet down on their naked dad so they wouldn't have to like see his shame laying face down ass up in the tent. Like a slip. Door unlocked. Tent unlocked. Noah is hosting tonight. Drape open. Absolutely no lube, no goat skin.

And then Noah wakes up and he realizes because he sees the sheet and he's like, oh, my son must have covered my naked ass with a sheet. And he's so ashamed. and then he like dies at age 900 of shame okay but in this there's a crucial part of this he has three sons the son that covers him up who does the big misdeed here right he's trying to protect the dad that son's name is ham which is so yes trans mask and the one syllable nb name it is so it's like so trans mask it's

like anyone named ham is like working as a mechanic and they're doing it for like the grease stains right they're doing it for the dickies merch okay but you have such a point because then noah blames ham and it's like the dad the toxic masculinity son would blame. He blamed his butch. His butch. And like his butch say them is like trying to bond and being like, dude, seriously, dad would not want to see us naked. And the dad is like, wait, that's so true. Yeah, I'm going to blame Ham just put my other sons like you're fine. Well, then Noah, who is holding this covenant with God, curses all of Ham's descendants to become slaves

for his other two brothers' descendants. So this is like the big split here, because this is where you get like the Canaanites who are like the slaves and all the, you know, the bad people, they like go. And I think these are the ones who invent Sodom and Gomorrah. Y'all are really like knowing this. Did you, did you, we...

What? Right, Sodom and Gomorrah is gay yeah oh right and this is the whole those are the descendants of ham so it literally is an nb-ass name so it's like the queer the then the descendants of the queer son started sodom and gomorrah and there's that scene where like the three wise men or whatever or these like three random wise men who aren't the go to sodom and gomorrah and then literally everyone in the town is like demanding to fuck them because they're so horny they try to rape them god appears in the form of three men and leads a descendant of shem who's ham's holy brother he like leads him out of his town and is like look we need to go destroy sodom

and gomorrah and god in the form of three men goes into sodom and gomorrah takes a refuge at this guy named lot's house okay lot is also the most like detroit punk house he goes lot lot is living in a town of gay guys like he is dl he's lot is trade and do they say in the book do they say that gomorrah though they're like everyone is how it's like lying with each other in the reverse like how do they say anal i feel like it's implied they call it like a town of like heathens and like hedonistic hedonistic people and stuff right it's implied it's implied i don't think they had the f word at the time but they obviously i mean they well he always says lie with in this book when he wants to say yeah well that's in leviticus i think it's when that famous homophobic verse i think is in leviticus when he when they're just oh to lie if you lie with a man as you would lie with a woman like that's fucked up their blood is upon them

so how do they if i may ask how does god know sodom and gomorrah are doing anal just like he can see everything i mean they're trying to rape him when he's in laud's house wait sodom and gomorrah are raping or the town the town sodom and gomorrah is like the twin cities it's like saint paul and then god god cancels them by turning the little villages into a pillar of salt right they kind of just go away which god famously also did to st paul in minneapolis yeah he tried to rape everyone in minneapolis you know minneapolis is is at least at one point was the gay capital of the united states most gay men per capita in minneapolis yes what it's true steven is that the the new testament yeah it's the first verse of the new testament john in minneapolis shall be the slayeth the most slayeth city of the most slayeth city of them all i mean obviously orlando has the highest

gays per capita of any city in the country because of because of my lottery dream home gay oh my god i love my lottery dream home i'm obsessed with him he's insane and math and gay the math energy coming out of him is out of control i love him to me like that whole show does also feel very bible and i'm just like he does feel like he's a little bit of a descendant from god in this twisted way where it's like he's the serpent because of a descendant from God in this twisted way. I feel like he's the serpent. Because he's telling these people to like, no, yeah, get this. Spend more. Spend, spend, spend.

Get a jacuzzi. Yeah, get a jacuzzi. Buy this house that has a man-made square pond in the back. It's only an hour and 20 minute drive from downtown Atlanta. From like a woman named Kirstie who won like $300,000 at a gas station. He's like, buy the fucking mansion. You know you want it.

Do it. Do it. You deserve this. You deserve this, Kirstie. But think of the Christmases you're gonna have. It's like McMansion and he's like, yes, girl. I mean, I've said this before the the role of every gay man like since birth is basically to get women to buy things yeah we're that that we are the serpents like

we were absolutely the snake we've been doing this like since we started with our mothers and we've just moved on to like all women throughout our lives if you if you superimpose a gay identity onto the you know garden of adam and eve or whatever like the snake and the girl they were besties right right he was like you know adam was just kind of i see what adam does when you're out of the when you're out of the garden you gotta leave this man well and he's all just being like yes girl make those leaves into a crown make it into a thong like yeah make that make that fig leaf a thong honey like we're doing a rustic garden theme for your wedding that's how lists were invented because snakes okay snakes yeah snakes invented

because they literally have a fork tongue a snake cannot not literally literally also snakes like gay men have horrible posture they're literally a curve they're like they invented scoliosis they're phallic well and i feel like god and adam is probably being so farm-to-table brick chicken. And Eve was just like, I'm going to eat an apple? Like salad boots? The snake called me fat yesterday. I'm trying to get my caloric intake down to 60 calories a day. The snake told me I would never fit into that fig leaf thong if i ate any more ham so i'm on the apple diet girl you do not want to go on the ark looking like that

everyone's gonna be there literally everyone will be goats asses turtle doves the red carpet at the ark i mean the ark is kind of the original red carpet at the arc. I mean, the arc is kind of the original red carpet because everyone's like this. Step and repeat in front of you. On the step and repeat. Who are you wearing? Who are you wearing? A lot of animal print tonight. This cloth is actually a hand-me-down

from my great, great, great grandfather. Jaw paths away. Yes. He was 900 years old and then I tailored it. Thriving. Still making work, booked and busy at 974.

Thank you because age ain't nothing but a number, bitch. This is what 976 looks like. Ancient and thriving okay let's bring it okay no no go on go ahead no no please please i'm just a guest you are and thank you for remembering that you are a guest on this artist guest celebrity book club okay so the age question is of the fact that like in the beginning and like there are characters who are

fully lived to 900 and then at some point like people start to have normal human ages in the Bible sugar and I'm just like it was sugar it's when sugar was introduced yes the fine sugar was introduced and people stopped just like it was sugar it's when sugar was introduced yes refined sugar was introduced and people stopped living longer god invented sugar so he could kill people sooner because he was like y'all can't be living for this long i'm so sick of you adam and noah like

you need to diet at least 150 yeah and so i feel like probably slowly he was like let's introduce sugar okay let's introduce corn syrup you know like, let's introduce sugar. Okay, let's introduce corn syrup, you know. Let's introduce the air fryer. Yeah. God's an inventor and a she-boss. I'd like to talk for a second about a huge theme in this memoir, which is circumcision. Oh, let's go there. Comes up time and again.

So one thing that I really learned from God and how he sort of sees the world is that I thought it was like, I've always thought of it as aesthetic, as just like, okay, it makes the dick more like you can see the whole thing. It's like, we're just like taking out the outside. But he actually sees it

as like a kind of a promise between you and God. So he goes so creepy he is born in a house he's that bought with the money must be circumcised wait bought with thy money okay that i mean he's talking about a slave i guess again my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant so it's basically like oh this is like between you and me like we're making this it's like a ring it's like a ring it's like a it's like between you and me. It's like a ring. It's like a ring. It's like when you're so like, oh my God, let's be blood brothers as kids and you trick your pinkies. Yeah. Which is kind of beautiful, I guess, in a way. Okay, but he made so many grown men circumcise themselves.

This isn't all happening at childbirth. This is happening to guys who are like 27. Okay? Would you, if you... No. If, okay. You wouldn't do a late in life circumcision. And by late in life, I am referring to 27 as late in life.

That's actually how Jim Morrison died. A-A-R-P circumcision. So God is just like so straight up like Willard and has like this creepy like sewed together like patchwork it is uncut only in his grind yes i'm cut of like this dick quilt yeah he's like i'm into fibers and materials um this is a mixed media piece dick skin his guest room there's a part of the bible where there's like these two warring towns because someone from one town raped one of the women from the other yes the town that was victimized was like look we can have an we can have a truce here but what you need to do is you

need to form a covenant with god you need to like all of the men need to be circumcised. You can't meet with blood in it. And some other, a bunch of other like weird anorexic rules. And they lied about this, the victimized town. And they go and they kill all of the men while they're recovering from their circumcisions. Imagine how busy that cirque doctor must have been. It was a group circumcision. Imagine how busy that Cirque doctor must have been. It was a group circumcision.

It was like, you have, remember, like, paper cutters from, like, elementary school? Oh, my God. Old 90s kids. 90s kids will remember paper cutters. And then teachers are, like, making so many packets. And, like, you're just lining up, like, 20 local dudes just being like, let's do this. Bam. Yeah.

Yeah. Stretch it out. You're like 17 BC kids. Remember? Only Nazareth kids will remember. You know, you're from Nazareth when you were in a group serve incision and literally all the classmates got murdered by a warring town.

And then you were all killed by a warring town. And that was revenge for that town raping this other woman? Yeah, well, they killed all the men. I want to bring up some more stuff about rape here. Some of the scenes you're like, how is this happening?

It's always like, and if you do lay in a field with another man's betrothed and you do take her like she has the right to like smite you and kill you and it was like all these situations so incoherent that you could you're gonna fail at some point right where it's just like you're always just alone in a field with someone of these things that could happen well i do think that back in the day there's a lot of fields there's a lot of fields and i think that just like architecture and like there were less stairwells

you know what i mean like think about how often you're hooking up with a guy in a stairwell they didn't have that back then so you had to go to a field less locking there's less bathrooms like there's less um what's it called liminal spaces. A word that people are always using to refer to just like an empty room. A liminal queer space. It's like, so you had to go to the forest. Which is the original queer space.

I've been in forests. I've been in parks. I've been in fields. The part about, they're at Babel or whatever or something. The new Babel's Hub. They're at Babel. They're at Babel or whatever or something. And like, this is when he events like, they're at Babel. They're at Babel on sunset. I'm DJing at Babel tonight. They're at Babel in Miami.

Everyone's doing coke and getting COVID. Nazareth Basel. Are you on the list? Are you on the scroll? Are you on the list? Are you on the scroll? Are you on the scroll? I don't see a Jebeth on the scroll. No, check it again. It's Ja-Peth.

It's Ja-apostrophe-Peth. You're like, call Jebediah. My friend Jebediah is inside. He's inside. I scared her, God. Can I say this about the arc? The arc feels very like you go to a gallery opening but it's like the gallery is so small and annoying claustrophobic and it's like outside is really where the party is

and it's like this huge oh you're saying like the deck is where it was all going down well it was lily it was raining the whole time that they had to stay inside the arc they literally couldn't even go out that's why i do think the art kind of sucks because you can't go onto the deck and be like, oh, this is beautiful. And I always get so seasick. The lower I am in a hull, the more seasick I get. They're putting you next to the giraffe, Stephen. You are not on the human

floor. You're the giraffe Ark. You're stowed away. I mean, at least the giraffes are like, fabulous. Love what you're wearing, girl. wearing girl well okay but that's why god is little gay if he did invent like giraffes and cheetahs literally literally if you're going like full like lisa frank on some animals yeah it's gay and like are we supposed to believe that he invented just like every subspecies of beetle is that also part of the story yeah no that's that's like that's a third of the bible it's just listing listing

it's just like god's actually kind of a nerd like it's so incel um but this is all so back the reason i brought up babel and not to sort of circle back to my point but he explains this part where he's like oh and then I split everyone up and like made them go all over the world and speak different languages as like punishment for like the people of Babel like being too like hubristic or something and it's just like oh so he actually views like different cultures as like a bad thing and that's actually why I'm canceling god thank you because also by doing that he invented colonialism yes yes he colonized the world he did he colonized earth he colonized earth if he made earth because if everyone was like the same in homogenous we also have the same language like

same language that we wouldn't be able to colonize each other literally we'd just be one big happy world okay who are we in the Bible? Okay, so that's actually... That actually does not come to the end of the segment. And what you are now is exposing yourself as someone who has not listened to our podcast. Who hasn't even listened to the podcast. Wow.

I have. I've absolutely listened to the podcast. I shall set upon you a hundred years of sores and locusts and i thou hath been slain to the land of the floppy for spilling the tea which shall not have been spilt thou spilt at the tea too early and i will curse thee in thy future career, and thou shalt not get a reality TV deal. Thou shalt not chaché into the kingdom of the sleigh. Chanté, thou doth not stay.

Okay, wait, if you had to, okay, if you had to live in modern-day Israel, modern-day Egypt, or modern-day Iraq, what would you choose? Or no, wait, no, sorry, ancient. Ancient. ancient ancient not modern wait take that modern no not not modern day no i mean i reverse what i said elaviva or lepo go okay girl i'm living in homes you know it's lit in homes okay wait before we ask this question i do want to say that i do feel like i'm like sometimes i'm like god can we hear the side from the egyptians literally yeah yeah no he makes the egyptians out to look makes so bad so bad yeah and i'm a little like well honey you made this earth so during

tribe of israel that's just like showing up places and like demanding stuff and with that comes like you're gonna be enslaved you know no i know it's very like you can't just pop into up places and like demanding stuff. And with that comes like, you're going to be enslaved, you know? No, I know. It's very like, you can't just pop into Cairo and be like, Oh,

where's what's, what's, what's happening fam. Like, is he suggesting that the Egyptian should be so Jennifer Lawrence and mother and just be like, Oh yeah, fine.

Come in. Yeah. This is literally blind side. Okay. Yeah. Do whatever you want. God is Sandra Bullock. God is Sandra Bullock. It's it's like no that's not happening i don't know i mean it's not happening i don't know if i would enslave them all but like

but then again we had these pyramids to build literally there's stuff to do civilization to build yeah right and i'm sure god loves those pyramids now and is like taking claim for it being like, bitch, I invented the wonders of the world. Yeah. And this comes back to the point that God is a hypocrite. Because I'm sure there's such a like Las Vegas style like mini Cairo in heaven. Oh, absolutely. These cloud pyramids. And he's like, aren't these so fab?

Don't you love them? Just like the real pyramids. And it's like, bitch, you literally called out the Egyptians for enslaving the pyramid builders in the Bible. And then it's just like God's riding on a camel being like, oh, so glad I invented you.

You're crazy with your humps. Yeah. Do you want to live in ancient Cairo, ancient Iraq? Yeah, ancient Cairo, ancient like Iraq, like tigers in Euphrates boots, like Babylon or like ancient Israel

I would want to be a Egyptian who lives in Cairo I would not want to be an Israelite same and vice versa I would not want to be an Egyptian in Israel wherever that is you want to be wherever it may be wherever they're roaming to to not be I don't

want to be an immigrant in ancient you just want to be on your home turf i feel yes at this time hometown hero i do love to travel and i love being in a new place and that's why you're gonna you would get smited fucking down bitch oh my god but don't you think that i would be the one israelite who is just like oh i actually like managed to kind of get out of like pyramid duty and i'm actually like friends with the Pharaoh. You're like braiding Cleopatra's hair.

You're dining and you're like eating like so many olives. You're just being like girl these are so good. You're looking slayed today. I'm just like I don't know why everyone's complaining like if you just like I don't know like have fun and like be cool like people will be chill.

There's being someone like whipped next to you and you're like yeah well you made that decision to like be a person who gets whipped yeah like yeah sorry update your resume bitch like got a job god god is gonna be so mad about this episode we're gonna get another plague for this recording god is gonna be like plague, hordes of Australians upon Manhattan. We are sending hordes of Australian people. Yeah, you thought the Australians were just confined to the Lower

East Side? Guess what, bitch? They're coming to Ridgewood. Little Brisbane. There's going to be so many of them that the subways have to stop operating because they've all been hit. Well, they're all covered in like Foster's vomit. Our rents go up $1,000 in a week. Y'all go into a service or anything on Christmas Day?

Oh, for X-Mix? Midnight Mass? No. Absolutely not. Lily, are you doing your classic Unitarian universe? Have you found a new accepting church in your neighborhood? I know you grew up in the UU. I grew up in the UU community,

but we would go to like a welcoming pageant on Christmas Eve where my sister wants to get to play the angel Gabriel, not to brag. And you were deeply jealous. I mean, this is so not unitarian we would light candles and sing silent night in german creepy i literally hate the unitarians so much i think they're they're demons no offense lily i'm sure you probably i wouldn't know i was not like a proud unitarian i was always so annoyed yeah i'm just like oh how dare you know because i was always

like forced to go and i was, this is not a religion. All we do is go to Sunday school and learn about other religions. It's just school again. You were like, bitch, I want to be in a goddamn cult. I'm not trying to go to school. Fucking Kool-Aid my ass. My mom joined the church.

I was Catholic until I was 15, and then my mom joined New York Church, which just basically allowed me to just become like a like addicted to weed right because you got to meet other like chill kids yeah literally they're doing the kids they're calling they're calling jesus a gender refugee on christmas i mean jesus was not a gender refugee and was not queer like i think jesus is pretty much like the most burning man person like in history totally and he's like jesus is the most awesome camp counselor you've had he has a super that is

covered in so much dust it's caught yeah so many burning stickers he's like always out there free to bet he's balding but has incredibly long hair he is on field that app for like finding a throuple. Like he is just Yes, his girlfriend does have a shaved side head and like. Yes, totally. And she listens to dubstep. And his other girlfriend has like really bad adult acting. They love geometric

street art. Oh my god. Absolutely. You know what I mean? Like murals are just like No honey, we've been to san diego okay you get you get the babe get me in front of this mural they go on like a mural tour they have 4 000 bungee cords ben can i ask as a practicing catholic growing up were you drawn to the ritual and the ceremony and the pomp and the circumstance like as a gay man did you love all the

you know all the frippery and the frillery yeah and even more so because it was all in Spanish and it was all led by Latinas like mother hen style that sounds fab okay so the divine feminine was present oh my god yeah and it's not being so like a

man being like he's your namaste yeah the women are pretty like are pretty like off in the corner and the irish version yeah latinos are like partying there's tequila in the wine do you take do you take the blood of christ which is his come don julio is blood of christ okay i in my infamous 13 year old diary and this is so my gender identity where you like talk so much shit about me yeah in that same diary where i talk so much shit about steven at like i talk about how i like want to go like more to the catholic church because i think it's like bad-ass and Sinatra and gangster. Wow.

So you were like, you were trad before. Yeah. I was like really trad. And I could tell, I was like this just kind of like hippie boomer, tweed jacket, Unitarian church is like,

I want to go back to the church. And we did. I remember cause I think we went to Easter at the church where I was baptized and I was like the smoke and everyone's dressing up when men were men, you know, and the incense. When men were men, you know, and the incense. When men were men. When men wore big gold dresses the way men should.

Exactly. Celebrity book club. Celebrity book club. And God said to Moses, there shall be segments. How doth she live? How doth she eat? What doth she wear? What doth she wears?

Wow. Little iconic lag on that one. Okay. What doth she eat? Well, as we discussed, as we were saying, she has an eating disorder. Yes. She makes it. She's more of a cook and more of a like orderer,

loves going to restaurants, orders the lamb. She's not a chef, shall we say. She's not like trying to like invent new things. It's a lot of like what she doesn't eat. But it's also a lot of like herby lamb roast and like classic roast chicken i guess the thing is a lot of bread unleavened bread it just doesn't seem like there's a ton of flavoring or like a recipe it's like i don't think she's like squeezing lemon on the lamb like i literally think it's just like there's parsley. I think it's one sprig of rosemary. Like as garnish in this very 80s way.

And it's like over this fire. So maybe sometimes, I bet like 25% of the time, it's like juicy just because of the cold fire. But like a lot of the time, probably it's unseasoned. I mean, he does salt. This is the origin of white people not knowing how to season their food. White people not seasoning their food. This is where it came

from yeah the egyptians were using all the seasoning i do also think it is the origin of um like folks of suburban experience overcooking meat i feel like everything is hard to a crisp in the bible well done i like i'll have my chick because he's so anti like blood he's like there hath shall no be no blood in the chicken no blood in the goat it's like okay this chick is not well done this chicken's congratulations am i right okay that is funny i'm stealing that okay i also feel like did you ever read that profile of kellyanne conway where it's like she's at this DC steakhouse and she sits down with a reporter and there's a scallion on top of the steak as a garnish

like a full scallion. And she picks up the entire scallion and swallows the entire thing like a sword swallower. What? And the reporter was like, it's the weirdest thing I've ever seen. That is like a threat. That's like a weird've ever seen. That is like a threat.

That's like a weird animalistic threat. It's like a crazy, crazy pissing on a tree marking your territory. I'm swallowing an entire scallion hole. That's a pure instinct for her, too. It's like a puffer fish when it blows up into a balloon. But I do think that God would do that at a DC steakhouse. That's so God. That's so God. So God so God. That's so God. That's Smith and Walensky.

He's so eating an entire garnish. But I mean, God, she do drinketh her wine like everyone is wasted, I do feel like. Let's be honest, though. And actually, I'm going to call you in for one second here. The problem is that the filtration system is back at that time just weren't that advanced. So a lot of the time, wine or ale was going to actually be more sanitary than water. So it wasn't that people necessarily were alcoholics or luscious, as we might say, like that was actually just literally the safer choice. It's like you're getting these Beaujolais, you're getting a Gamay, a Pinot, you're getting these lighter, you're getting absolutely pet nuts.

You're definitely getting these kind of like super funky cidery. Yeah. Was wine like actually natural back then? It's like what we today think of as natural wine because it was so like. Literally. Low intervention. Right. Because it's low intervention.

It's being so like age for two weeks. It's not like aging this cab for years yeah you know um this actually brings me i need to talk about this i um was at a orthodox liquor store and there was a gift box of a bottle of israeli wine cigar chocolate bark and then a stemless wine cup for a long-term care pharmaceutical company and it was all included in this one care package yes so this was just like something that like this like has it like business just had lying around they put it all into one box yeah they threw in some you know some fun tissue paper and they're like let's throw this in a box of this like stemless pharmacy i have a hasidic aside here if you don't mind me a haside a haside i have a friend who has a labradoodle a big poofy white dog i don't know and this dog was being walked

around east williamsburg a white labradoodle i haven't seen a white labradoodle i know whatever okay if you read that article the guy who invented the labradoodle is just like, I feel so ashamed for causing a plague on this planet. Yes. He said it was his life's biggest mistake was inventing the labradoodle. They are little demons. Yeah, I don't like them.

The sissitic guy walked up and he was like, oh my god, I love your dog. Can I sell her fur when you cut her hair stop and we were like what and he was like can i buy the fur from you and sell it because it's like it's exactly like wool this is such a biblical fable and then he gave the phone number to the owner and he was like call me when you cut her hair i'll come pick it up and i want to sell it as wool and i'm like to who who is buying small batch dog hair that they can pass off if you want for like a pillow for a throw pillow this is my lab to fill a single pillow

100 irish wool or whatever and it's like just labradoodle like Like disgusting, like east of Williamsburg sidewalk, labradoodle hair. That's really gross. That is insane. I mean, the idea that she would actually put more, like willingly put more dog hair into your home is crazy. I know. It's insane.

Anyways, just wanted this. It did feel biblical. I mean, I guess speaking of, what does she wear? Fig. Figs.

Figs. Figs. White. I'm just imagining a lot of tunics and smocks very flowy sheets i've been watching this really amazing netflix show called last kingdom that's sort of about the viking invasions of england in the ninth century and the outfit thank you and the outfits are very like tunics buck buckles. And it's like, I feel like tunics and buckles being more glam well we should look back because i wrote a paper in sixth grade on medieval fashion togas it was like more sheet based but they were still doing buckles and like when they were putting on their like war outfits it was still

like belts and shit it was like athleisure is kind of a of a return to the to the um robe or the toga honey you try going to the no gym in a toga because that leisure is like it's comfortable i feel like it's more like the bible is more under the tuscan sun style have you ever walked around in a toga it's actually not there it involves a lot of work i have you're like you have to like gather all this fabric all the time like you can't just like stretch and jump and just like be making a smoothie than be like sitting on your big marble kitchen counter like in this kind of like also i've mentioned it's like a hard toga unbleached thick yeah yeah i think

some i'm bleached linen the underdyed linen i mean it probably hangs pretty well and i don't think it's pre i feel like the bible's pre-bbuckle, but I think we're seeing maybe a lot of rope, twine, rope, sand. There were buckles. There were wrist cuffs. Like there was metal like accoutrement. Hello, like the warriors of the time, like ancient Spartan warriors were so like helmets and shit. Spartan? I don't think Bible is Spartan times.

Is that the same time? That's like ancient Romansans that's that's i'm saying that's pre-bible so by the bible yes there would have been cups oh whoa that's pre-bible okay wow yeah literally i'm learning so much y'all want to get over to wikipedia anytime sorry when was and this may again reveal my amazing private school education. Was ancient Rome before the Bible? Yes. Yeah. It was, I mean, ancient Rome like goes up until the Bible.

Like Julius Caesar was like right around the time of the Bible, like a little bit before the Bible, like negative 50 BC. Well, there's the whole Jesus was expelled from Rome thing. No, I knew this. I knew this. You guys are being so Christian that you think that history started at like the year of. No, and that's why BC was so horny and sexy and orgies. And then God came along and said, no sex.

You guys thought ancient Rome was just like 1250. I thought it was just like a Disneyland exhibit. Okay. How does she live? I mean, it's a lot of reclaimed wood. Like, as you know, the Ark was just like the original like straight guy project of like building furniture. Everyone's in Aiden. Aiden's are out there.

Everyone is building. But I feel like God is so like your home must be like humble oh well here's the thing i saw rosie o'donnell just bought a house in california for the first time and it said the kitchen is kosher oh because oh so it's like a separate dishwasher for like milk and pig or whatever yeah and there's two sinks like one for pig my pig sink and my non-cloven hoof sink wait oh my god no that's the cloven sink so it's farm sinks yeah it's giving me joanna gains like it is farm sinks and it's rustic okay wait so sorry so if i may just reference um oh my god deuteronomy again bible do you see this gorgeous king james i'm

rocking here that's i stole from my parents house i spark notes this shit they call god a main character on sparknotes.com and she is the original main character last sylvia rodrigo in her airpods um okay wait but listen to this wood description that gets so specific hew thee two tables of stone like unto the first and come on to me into the mount and make thee an ark of wood and i will write on the tables the words that were the first tables which thou breakest and now shall put them in the ark and i made an ark of shit him wood and hewed two tables of stone like unto the first it's like so i need you to get this specific kind of wood then i want you to do this like stone overlay like tabletop but like with the like

shit tomb wood legs and it's been so just like slightly mid-century inspired but just like but i'm also really really taken with like natural fibers and i wanted to like evoke i feel like you know what the bible is it's like that description it i wanted to like evoke i feel like you know what the bible is it's like that description it reminds me of like always the scene on a house renovation show where the couple says they want a certain type of wood and then of course it's like out of stock and they have to get something that's ten thousand dollars more and they have to call the couple and they're like hey suzy how are you yeah no things are going really well so we have some news yeah we're out of the shit team yeah We're out of the shit team.

Yeah, we're out of the shit team, but we have some amazing options. We can do the stone, which is actually really popular and is really easy to clean. And they're like, okay. So it actually is going to be 37 more drachma per kilo. Yeah.

I don't know if you want to part with that drachma. And then they do. And Josseth says, okay. And Jopeth says to Moses. Sure, let's do this. Fine, we'll go with the stone. Just stone. Fine.

Okay, let's do it. I mean, isn't this what we wanted? We wanted our dream home in Nazareth? No, and it's a forever home. A place to grow to 957 too. That's so beautiful. I guess I'm also thinking, does that question apply to God in heaven?

In the cloud city, if you will. Isn't that a liminal space, as you said earlier? Does anything exist up there besides just clouds and angels? I guess I imagine heaven as being absolutely absolutely packed it's like fully las vegas it's like there's like so many restaurants it's so like tampa there's so many just like surf and turf like middle of the day and it's it's always packed you can always get a seat yes and you're just like there's you're getting a huge menu you're waiting 45 minutes for the waitress to come over. It's very Margaritaville.

And then like God's actual apartment is just like so cheesecake factory and it's like vaguely Etruscan, but like also Egyptian and it's like so many different references from throughout history. So it is Vegas. It's Vegas. It's basically Vegas. Right, where you're in Paris, then all of a sudden you're in Tuscany. Right.

Wow, it's so beautiful. I can't believe that this fountain work is so impressive. Okay, who doth y'all in the book? Like I said earlier, I feel like any gay is the snake. You're the, yeah, we're all the snake. You're the snake. I feel like I'm the snake. I guess I'm...

Yeah. Ham. You're ham. I'm yeah ham you're ham i'm ham you're ham so i mean you would so cover your dad's nude body with yeah i was just like oh god you'd be so ashamed of your nude father and i forget if we ask this but lily have you seen your father nude not like and not like on purpose when you were a kid you're always being like show me your dick but like accidentally no never seen him i mean it was hard to even see his legs he wore shorts very rarely rarely at the beach so nice yeah yeah very covered very even a short sleeve was you know rare so so it remains a mystery your Your father's piece. Right, except for the... I mean, I feel like I've said this on the pod when I asked to see his piece.

Right. And he showed it to me. Because you were so young. As a part of life, yeah. I mean... Medium. I mean, it's a dad dick. When you're a little everything is the dad dick it looks big you know you know it's hanging i'm not going on my fucking freaking podcast

saying my dad is a small dick right that's probably why noah was so pissed at ham because ham was like dad has a small right oh my god i know he wished that noah had okay noah secretly wishes that they hadn't covered up and they'll be like yo our dad is fucking hung oh my god i'm like spread a rumor that their dad was hung and then like we're back wow so we're back fucking with us on this god is something crazy just happened god came to us and recorded and started i've i've never seen god be angrier he's so pissed she's like i will make my presence known no matter what. Stop talking shit about me. You guys are such bitches. And I'm just like, wow, got a lot of free time on your hands, God. You're literally

obsessed with like, stop calling me a Jap. A New York based podcast. Right. Sorry. It's Friday at 430. Like, shouldn't she be finishing up your WFH right now? Yeah, like submit your time cards and get ready to go out, bitch.

God actually also has COVID. She's like, who are we fucking with today? God is pissed because he can't go to the new Bab Club in Nazareth. He can't show up as an outdoor bush at a brewery and

set himself aflame. Where were we now we rate the book um i don't know i get it's historic and everything but i'm also like it needs to be edited it flopped i'm not wrecking this really to anyone i get there are some iconic stories so i feel like i have to give it a three out of five just for like just for its influence you have yes for the influence as an influencer i'm giving it a three impact that's three out of five so i'm like well that's huge of you like the way you got a following but it's also like lowest common denominator you know i mean it's ambitious like i guess i'm impressed like you know i couldn't write this i've been right i couldn't bible like well i got i wouldn't come up with this many characters and i would obviously as a gay person i would just like

get bored and not like finish the project like wait but isn't that god because like the disciples wrote the whole new testament you know so it was like the spin-off like john finished up yeah yeah and he had all these other like straight guys help him yeah i mean it's Testament, you know, so it was like the spinoff like John finished up. Oh, that kind of gave him. Yeah. And he had all these other like straight guys help him. Yeah. I mean, it's also very like classic. You had a hit and you can't. Right. You never. No, I know. Where's the second book?

I guess like that would be the new test. Yeah, but it's like other writers. Yeah, it's not gone. The new Testament is not a memoir in the same way that the first one is. It's I'm gonna I would do I would do I think a three out of five is accurate i don't know i'm saying two and a half i'm saying two and a half bernie bushes out of five because i just feel like again it's like there is some potential here but it gets so bogged down in details and then some of the juicier parts like he doesn't go into it. Like I don't learn anything about like the sort of motivations and the

interior lives of these people. Like what was Noah like actually feeling during this? You know what I mean? Like we're implied that like, Oh, he like felt shame. We're implied that this person felt like hubris or this, like we see all like the negative aspects,

but like, I don't know what were they, what did they really want? Like what, you know, like, I don't know. It's supposed to be this book about humanity in this way.

And I actually don't get a lot of human emotion in here yeah all the characters are so one dimensional yes yes yes exactly and it happened so fast really so you want me to care that cain and abel killed each other story there's no backstory because they're the first people and they right which is such a cop-out you know what i mean such a cop-out it's like oh they're the first people so like we don't know that much about them it's like no bitch like you invented them so like also like that's so interesting of a narrative you know if you really really dug your teeth into it you know being the first people you have to ask yourself so many questions like oh my god who came before us blah blah blah blah

none of that there's gonna be that that existential fear that would you know just swallow you if you realize you're the first human to ever exist that's not there no i know i mean right exactly like that would be such a fucking mind fuck dude if you were just like dude like no one came before me like what should i do like your rib and you're made out of dust and right you're like this gay snake wants me to eat fruit right so you want to be a little more kid in king arthur's court like the moment that he lands and is like whoa what am i doing here i have no references i have no role models i have never seen sex in the city i have no impetus to move to a

city like what is like what is going to inspire me? No, M-I-S-M-M-F. Like, I'm just in a field, and now my brother slayeth me. My brother slayeth me. And I'm not supposed to eat animals with blood, yet they're full of blood. Yeah, it's lacking interiority.

Yeah. So that's something maybe for the next book, God. Yeah. I would like... You're going to be so smitest for doing this i want to get i want to get a christian fatwa against us or whatever the equivalent is let's get one fingers fucking crossed okay cool well thank you so much ben this was thank you even for the second time. Anytime, anytime. Hopefully this can make it to air and God doesn't kill producer Meg.

We'll see. And if he does, Meg, this will be your final project and your legacy. And you'll love it. Yeah. And that's really quite a note to go out on. Thank you, Ben. Do feel better with your COVID. Do feel better. I hope you feel worse.

See you at UU services because remember, life is a gift for which we are grateful. Period. And that's on T. And that's on period. And that doth be on T, sis. And that doth be on the T.

I am lighting my Unitarian chalice for you and your health. Thank you so much. Also to you, Steven. Thank you so much. Really appreciate it. Okay, fucking Merry friggin' Christmas. Happy New Year.

Happy holidays. Happy Kwanzaa. Merry Christmas. Happy Solstice. Yes. Yes. Welcome to the VIP Lounge with two sexy broadcasters, Lily Murata and Stephen Phillips-Horse. Let's give them a round of applause, everyone. Woo! Hell yeah!

Nothing like being behind the velvet rope for another edition of the VIP Lounge. Mm-mm-mm. It makes me feel more VIP every single week. Nothing like being behind the velvet rope for another edition of the VIP Lounge. It makes me feel more VIP every single week. Absolutely. We're ratcheting up the premium content just like our mama taught us. Well, Lil, I'd love to get right in to the content. Yeah, let's get into it. So I know that you wanted to talk about several things, including... Sorry, I'm just laughing about our mothers teaching us at a young age how to make paywall content.

Okay. Yeah. Please mask up for this episode because I do have COVID. That would be the famous COVID cough i'm currently waiting for my results but we're not talking about that today because this is the vip lunch and that's fun um first up because i just need to settle this it's giving me anxiety what am i getting for my uh my gf for okay humble brag you're in a relationship we get it um so you are gonna get your wife i already got her a small i mean this is so her i got her a small it's kind of stocking stuff though it's a a soy sauce saucer with the imprint of a

cat wow very her and i also got cats she likes soy sauce i also got one for my mom and different so that's also weird need to obviously something else because you can't get your mom and your girlfriend the same right because that's sort of admitting the fact that like you're marrying your mother that's edible yeah you're marrying your mother and like oh okay no thought so you know they were what nine bucks each so it's impossible to avoid you know she was your first introduction to woman, to the eroticism of Femalia. That was just a taste of this week's VIP lounge. To hear the rest of that segment and get another just like it every week, go to patreon.com slash CBC the pod and sign up now for only $5 a month.

And God said to Prologue Project, thou shall present it, Celebrity Book Club, a podcast for all thine folk of all thine earth. The show is produced by the famous whore, Meg Murnane with editorial support from Leon Neifach,

Japath Joway, Andrew Parsons, and Madeline Kaplaneth. Our production manager is Overseeth by Persia Verlin, who is a snake. Original theme song by the Stephen Phillips Horst of the Nazareth Clan. Artwork by Lord Teddy Blanks at Chips and Why. He doth not be circumcised. Follow us on Twitter at CBC The Pod.

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