Seeking Derangements - SD 128 - Ellen ... or Roosevelt

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

Today the gang figures it all out: The Elluminati, the Rosie Cross Order, It's All Connected! We also discuss Ben's sashay into Tik Tok, Jacques' deadly arts-and-crafts, and how all the celebs are imitating Demi YET AGAIN. ITS. ALL. CONNECTED!!

Today on Seeking Derangements. I have a completely different reasoning for this entire situation. I wonder if it's going to be normal. Of course it's normal, Hessa. I stand with Nickelodeon. I don't want to see any lesbians on my team. Oh, God. I'm sick of these 14-year-old lesbians.

Oh, God. I'm sick of these 14-year-old lesbians. Hessa and I do not represent the opinions stated by Ben Mora. Oh, it's yours. I think that this was done as a social hit by another popular celebrity that has a beef with Jojo Siwa. Oh, like Miranda Cosgrove or something? No, no, no, no. It actually goes even way further than that.

Way further, okay. It was, in fact, Ellen DeGeneres that put out this social hit because she didn't want to see a young lesbian rising. Yeah, she's afraid that Jojo's going to knock her off that lesbian throne she's been on. This makes perfect sense. She's barely clutching to that throne with her weak little fragile old lesbian hands

that her fingernails are probably falling off. Her fingernails probably get stuck in Portia. She's broken. They're broken. Three in Portia, two on the crown. That makes sense. that checks out i think i think ellen would definitely do homophobia so she could remain being the only lesbian on tv and i'm gonna stay the only ellen because every every 30 or 40 years they pick a new ellen the cabal the cabal anoints a new Ellen. The cabal, the cabal anoints a new Ellen. Yeah.

At the, um, there's a secret Oscar party. Um, that's after all the other ones. It's like five days later. Cause there are so many, it's so secret. And like,

it's the same party where they decide who the next Dalai Lama is too. It's crazy party. Do it in the basement underneath the Suspiria dance studio. Yeah. What they do is it's, it's right after the party where they select the new Shailene Woodley every year. They sacrifice the old one.

I'm going to go even further to say that this is a collection of older lesbians that had started to get shaken up by JoJo Siwa's power grab. An old world cabal of generational lesbians. So obviously Ellen's at the top. We've got Roseanne. We've got Rosie O'Donnell. Was there a single famous

lesbian before Ellen? I don't think Roseanne is a lesbian. Rosie O'Donnell. Rosie O'Donnell. Roseanne is not a... Also, you cannot spell talent without T-N-A. I don't get it. What's T-N-A?

Tits and ass, man. Nice. Subscribe to the Seeking Derangements Patreon to hear more.