Seeking Derangements - SD 165- Shop Class with Kaye Loggins

Episode Date: October 17, 2022

Kaye joins Hesse and Ben to discuss this seasons horror movies, Alex Jones' settlement, that big boob teacher lady in Toronto, and queer adult babies Find Kaye's many amazing projects here: https://linktr.ee/timewharp Subscribe to Seeking Derangements for weekly bonus episodes :)

🎵 Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of Seeking Derangements. I'm Hessa, as you know, Ben's here. As you can tell, there's a suspicious absence of Jock screaming. He's taking this episode off because he has a job. You got a real job. In lieu of Jock, we do have a very special guest today. We have comedian slash comedian slash, um, slash musician slash actress Kay Loggins with us today.

Wow. Thank you. That's the first time I've ever been introduced as a comedian first. Yeah. Well, it's because you're so funny to me. Comedian first, comedian second. Yeah. Breaking the binary.

I forgot about the term comedian. I haven't heard that in so long. Well, yeah. Is that out of favor? Because I know people do like... Shit. Yeah. Right.

I use it every single time I refer to a female comedian. Yeah. Well, but actress doesn't really happen much now. No, people go as actor. It's all actor, comedian. I put actress on my bio because it's very affirming yeah what about songstress instead of singer i don't really write songs i guess that implies maybe in the next the next record will have songs so then i'll be a songstress that's beautiful what's the difference between like a piece

and a song how do you tell the difference whether it has lyrics and singing or not that's quite literally the definition but I always feel like such an idiot calling something a piece or something yeah no matter what you're talking about if you're referring to it as a piece

like whether it's art sounds like you're talking about your packer yeah I guess if you're calling like a dick a piece that's kind of sick got a nice piece or a gun he had a nice piece

beautiful piece beautiful piece on this one am I gonna start doing Trump on this it will devolve there at some point, I'm sure. Yeah. We might have a special guest, Donald Trump, come on in a little bit later.

I was just in the... The reason I was a little late is because I was just in the laundromat and they had the news on and I watched Liz Cheney deliver the subpoena announcement live. Oh, they're doing it Januaryuary 6th aren't they a watershed moment in american politics wow wait what happened they're gonna subpoena him oh shit it's great i don't think he's gonna i don't think he's gonna testify but they're gonna

at least do the the whatever uh pageantry of it i feel like he won't testify and also he won't go to jail i want him to go to jail just because it would be fucking hilarious like i don't care about like any like the legality of it he clearly did like break the law or whatever but i feel like if you did that half the country would literally like revolt like nancy blissey would die maybe yeah nancy blissey would just have a hard time she has nothing to live for she would go into deep deep depression kill herself she has nothing left to look forward to the democratic party would send out emails like we don't need any more money thank you everyone nancy don't do it you have too much to live for it's nancy

but yeah i don't i don't know like it would be amazing to see him testify in court what is it about it's about all of the documents he had at mar-a-lago right i think it's about just like the i think it's a little prior this particular thing it's more just like documents related to um whatever just like on the day of like what were you doing yeah this is super compelling honestly i have no clue what's going on i truly have no yeah like if i were the president i would end up stealing so many documents on accident

because it'd just be so hard to tell what's classified or not oh yeah how hard is it to not steal documents, right? That's really bad. You just stuff papers in a briefcase. I have documents from my old jobs on my computer. I'm trying to think. I probably got some documents. Oh, yeah.

Well, I feel like you lose documents. I got my W-9. I lose documents a lot. You would lose the nuclear codes. I have my birth certificate. I've lost more documents in a single day than you've ever stolen in your entire life oh my god and the alex jones ruling happened yeah the alex jones ruling made me feel incredibly stupid i i literally had a accidental breakdown

yesterday because i texted hessa one of the dumbest things i've ever said okay can i read it yeah fine it's really bad it's really embarrassing in my it's like one of the funniest exchanges i've ever seen it's really embarrassing i'm so stupid i truly thought for like an hour and a half about how i need to change my life after sending these texts so you said is 965 million five dollars under one billion i said what and then you said new remind which i think you were trying to write never mind i wrote never mind because i realized i had something so so stupid. So I was like, never mind. It's newer mind. It's a newer mind. It's a new mathematics. And then you said 5 million.

As in, I meant 5 million and not $5. And I said, still wrong. Still wrong. I think you're mixing up hours and the hundreds. Something happened. I don't know what happened. Something happened. I think I maybe had a mini stroke. Where you're getting into it, folks. hours and and something happened so i don't i can't i don't know what happened something happened i think i maybe had a mini stroke where you do it yeah something happened folks i have no clue

i was incredibly embarrassed something happened in his brain that day nobody knows what happened i was making a bunch of horrible typos and i realized it's it's because my phone is set in spanish because i'm trying to improve my spanish oh yeah that's a classic trick but it gets rid of my english autocorrect which oh my god i still fucked up the math there's no there's no excuse for that one i i've had uh both languages on my keyboard switch between them and like it i feel like it fucks up the autocorrect yeah it does in both languages what's up with that i and like even when you switch back like i had mine set to italian for like a little tiny bit and when i was like trying to text my cousins and then i eventually gave up because it's like i don't even know what's going

on but um i every time i try to type anti-semitism it auto-corrects to a thumbs up emoji anti-semitici which isn't even italian that's not even italian for anti-semitism that's like portuguese or something um and i don't know why i don't know why that happens yeah how are your cousins doing with the new government are they loving you oh they're great they're they're loving it they they actually don't like the lady um i don't know why but it's for some incomprehensible obscure like reason yeah um not because she's too right wing or anything but because she's like right wing in the wrong way for them yeah well right wing in the right way but like doesn't like sicily or something like oh yeah yeah something like that sicilians are like arabs

and shouldn't be allowed yeah literally yeah yeah yeah should be disqualifying frankly that's all the other shit I can handle that but that yeah it's anti-italian discrimination that's a it's a cultural export Sicily um let me see what else we got but it is near a billion I wasn't wrong yeah does he even have a billion dollars

I didn't look into this at all does he have like is he bankrupt or is he actually able to pay that off? There's no chance. No shot. But does Infowars have a billion? I think they must have based it off of the income that Infowars was making during this time, which probably is near a billion because they were, I mean, they were raking in so much money. If you think of all of the shit they were selling. Just looking at Alex Jones.

Like ad revenue or something i don't know but i know they're making a lot of money during this time that's probably i just looked up alec jones net worth and it says negative on celebritynetworth.com It's very up to date Is it like in red? I know It's in green That's so funny News times.com says Variety.com estimates

Net worth between 135 and 270 million So that would put him in bankruptcy Oh my god that's so fucked up Variety.com estimates net worth between $135 and $270 million. That would put him in bankruptcy. Oh my god, that's so fucked up. They're going to garnish his dick pills. They're going to put parsley next to them. The victims are getting so much money.

Queens. It's so sick. I think one was getting like 130 million just to themselves we should we should all subscribe to infowars and buy his pills to make sure that he has enough to pay the families what they're owed it's mutual aid basically yeah we have to do direct action it's a victim fund yeah speaking of maybe this is kind of fucked up but the thing that came on right after the uh the subpoena was like the local news update and they just said how they're not going to charge the kid who did um parkland with uh they're not going to

do the death penalty and they were like the families are shocked and angry oh my god and i'm just i don't know i'm like what yeah i mean like i don't have a debate about carceral punishment but it's just like come on like what does that kind of fucking do to kill this guy it's it should be yeah i feel like we're anti-death penalty here they should put him glad we cleared that up in a cell with Trump, I think, in the same jail. Imagine those two cooking. I like this guy a lot. Wait, which one? Parkland was in Florida?

In Florida. That's the one with David Hogg. Oh, with David Hogg. Oh, my God. He's so annoying. Yeah. I loved his conflicted arc there for a minute what was he took like one he took like one college course and he was like uh tweeted something like i'm actually really

conflicted that my dad works for lockheed martin now oh yeah well he created a competing uh pillow company to the my pillow guy for a little bit because he was like, you guys should be buying left-wing pillows. You should be buying center left-wing pillows. Left-wing pillows are those anime girl body pillows. Literally, they already exist. Left-wing pillows are the blah-haj, the shark, the stuffed shark that trans girls have.

Yeah, it's actually that David Hogg has tuned into queer Twitter and he saw the Lockheed Martin controversy and suddenly felt conflicted. My estranged father actually worked for Lockheed for a long time. He got cancelled. I know, but when I tell people that, they think like

yeah, they think that he had a lot of money and he really didn't make that much. I mean, he made like a normal blue collar. He was a janitor at Lockheed Martin. So what ten dollars a day normal blue collar he was like working he was like working in the hangar he wasn't like in an office i'm sure they have to have plenty of like functionaries to like clean up their trash or whatever yeah but still evil fuck that shit i mean i know i don't i don't approve don't know if i have any evil family members any evil employment history we have i don't think so my my grandpa was like a delegate for ronald

reagan hell yeah he's like one of the first immigrant delegates for a republican presidential candidate wow wow and now you're in the seat of fascism in New York City. The tables have just swung fully around. You'd be so proud of you. Mm-hmm. You would. R.I.P. The last thing my grandpa said to me, like, on his deathbed,

he didn't know I was trans. And he was, like, in Italian, but he was like, you have to carry on my name. Because I was named after him. And I was like, you have to carry on my name because I was named after him and I was like, oh. Oh, no. Well, you can name your son

after him. Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure. Sure, sure, sure. Wait, what was his name? Frank. So name your son Ronald Frank. Frank.

Oh, my God. You could have chosen you could have chosen reagan as your name you would have loved that oh my god one time um when ronald reagan died he took me and my brother to um like uh friendlies i think and um when we got there he yelled at the um the hostess because the flag wasn't at half mast oh my god he was like our finest man died today you have to put you have to put it down i just like one time when ronald reagan died you you could be a reagan so i could see that that's what an insult those are bad bitches reagan's i'm trying to what's what's the like what's a what's a reagan like a fictional reagan that i'm trying to think of from like the girl from the exorcist one right yeah haunted little child is there a reagan and girls i feel like there should be it feels like it's

what yeah spiritually there's a reagan girls marnie marnie is very reagan yeah marnie's also a reagan type name definitely yeah it's a bit cuter um okay speaking of marnie the uh megan trailer oh wow oh my god um megan trailer i i saw malignant it's by the same guy what's his name james james wan right i hate him malignant yeah it was so i haven't seen it but megan looks um looks good like i will definitely look at it. It looks so funny. It looks really funny. It looks... The dance sequence of the doll, like, dancing alone in the hallway... Yeah. ...was, like, they knew what they were doing when they put that in there. No, definitely.

Like, what are they... What are they... What's the angle that's, like, supposed to be new, though? Because it just feels like Chucky. Well, it just feels like Black Mirror or something. Which is a long-running series. It's girls, Chucky. Yeah.

Yeah, it's Black Mirror and her meets Chucky. It's like AI. I'm totally in it to watch Marnie be terrorized. You know? Because I fucking hate Marnie. She's so annoying. And that actress will always be Marnie. She's like...

I thought she was a little better in Get Out than Girls. But this... Just based on the trailer, it feels like literally... She's Brian Williams' daughter. There's... Yeah, yeah. But it just felt like there was no like, I don't know, I don't want to say bad acting, but I haven't seen it, but like it's... It's not, it doesn't

seem like bad acting, it's just very one-dimensional like single note, which is amazing because I'm, you know, captivated by girls like most people are and want to just pretend that every movie she's in is like extended universe girls like get out is just where marnie ended up get out makes sense yeah it really does track for get out honestly and then her having in like 2060 a little ai doll that kills her and her daughter or whatever also makes complete sense

for Marnie. But that dance scene was really funny. Of course, a bunch of gay guys on Twitter were like, me after drinking iced coffee and shitting in my office and my boss saw me. Me farting out cum in the work bathroom. Me covered in shit

at the office because I drink too much iced coffee in front of my boss. It was like people talking about how the gays were going to use it while it was

simultaneously happening. It was just like this very like the gays are going to go wild on this one and then OMG mother. It's like they already have.

This is mother. She's trying not to say Mother challenge Time is flat Yeah it's like the Personality of being a gay who like Likes horror That's like your personality

No for sure Kind of me I love spooky shit There you go Ben and I watched Have you seen the movie The empty man i love that i recommend that movie to people all the time it's so good i've seen hollow man it's so good it's better than hollow man with elizabeth moss wow or wait oh i'm thinking of paula verhoeven's the hollow man that's the one with elizabeth moss okay maybe that's the invisible man there's too many no that's the

hollow man okay then there's the invisible man and then there's what's paul verhoeven's called i don't know heavy recommend for um the empty man it's very good movie the empty man is so good yeah it's so good it's like okay it doesn't it's like very serious and really scary at first, and then it just gets really, really wacky. Paul Verhoeven is Hollow Man. Oh, Hollow Man. Okay.

Okay. So there are two movies called The Hollow Man. Maybe so. Also, The Fourth Man, 1983. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, The Fourth Man. I've seen that movie.

Yeah. The Empty Man is the 2020. third man david pryor is the empty man going on what is going on um the um what's it called megan what was i gonna say megan yeah i love it's um the megan one of the great new movies of our time i like i kind of hate i kind of hate when um like movies that are like horror movies get labeled as gay when they're not like the baba duke like preemptively no like the baba duke was like memed as gay it wasn't like marketed as gay no but now it is now it's in like best queer movies list stop and no. It's on them.com. I had, well, the reason the meme got started is because when they added it to Netflix,

a glitch happened and it was in the LGBT movies category. So people were like, oh my god. It's a glitch? Yeah. People were like, oh my god, the Babadook is gay. And then now it's on them.us's top 50 lgbtq movies which i was gonna

touch on for this episode but there's it's kind of you know they've got i remember people are saying that about um is hereditary on that list i mean oh my god let me people were saying that about the the most that's also a very straight movie It yeah Most recent it because don't kids have sex With each other in that or something Maybe It's just campy I feel like anything that's campy Gets labeled

Which is sad Someone tweeted something about this I remember it was a huge discourse And it was like we need to have movies Where gay people aren't always getting killed In them and i was like what's the gay person being killed in it like if anyone's gay in it it's the clown yeah the clown it's the faggy little clown little clown that limp-wasted freak freak. Yeah, it's if anything, they're gay bashing. Yeah, literally. Yeah, it, he's

gender nonconforming. It pronouns? It is. Yeah, people are talking about they, them. Well, it did it first. What about that? Yeah, Babadook is on here.

Stranger by the Lake, which is a really fucking good oh i love that you've seen it do you want to know my favorite queer horror movie yeah wait go ahead what's your favorite queer horror movie the hunger oh that's i showed that to agnes the other night is it good should i watch it bisexual. I won't be watching it. It's a very bisexual movie. I will not be watching it. It's very good. David Bowie, Susan Sarandon. Catherine Deneuve.

I love. Catherine, yeah. Yeah, this list is pretty good. So I kind of decided we wouldn't go over it. There's a bunch of really good movies on it. I'm surprised. What's the Razzie's top LGBTQ horror movies? I like literally was...

I checked Reddit. I was like on our egg IRL, like looking to see if there was like a list of like... Egg IRL. Yeah. I was looking to see if they had like a list of like favorite horror movies. They didn't. I found a bunch of posts on r trans about how um like people were like

sleepaway camp is the most transphobic film i've ever seen in my life and it's like stay mad that's a gay that movie's iconic that movie's so iconic um i just saw laura uh reviewed that on letterboxd oh my my god, it's so good. Have you seen it? I haven't seen it. I think I saw it like a long time ago. That's really good. Not as an adult. But yeah, the them.com list is pretty good actually. Has there been a horror movie that's been marketed as like explicitly gay?

Like a la bros? Where it's like this is the first... Yeah, get bros. They slash them. I think it's bros where it's like this is the first yeah get bros oh yeah they know but that was but i don't think that was marketed as like gay it's like kevin bacon yeah no it's definitely it's definitely yeah but it wasn't like these are all gay actors and stuff which yeah yeah it was kevin yeah it's um i liked all the uh the the meme of like everyone posing at the premiere and it has the logo behind it and it looks like all the actors are coming out that movie sucks kevin bacon the twist is non-binary yeah yeah i could see it could be a he they don't mind okay i could see it okay the twist at the end of they slash them is that the the counselors who are gay phobic because it's

at a conversion camp the counselors and the counselors are getting killed and it turns out one of the counselors is like a closet lesbian and is killing the other counselors. And the lead character, the titular they slash them, is like, calls the police on the counselor. And she gets arrested. Wow, a bootlicking they them. I thought the twist would be like that the they them reverts to she they.

Oh my God, that would be so iconic. It feels more comfortable that way. They should have had the they them like literally getting like limbs ripped off of them and they were like i'm not gonna call the cops don't call the fucking bullies i mean now that that i think you're onto something there there's a movie like It's like an ACAB Brooklyn kid getting murdered and they won't call the cops. No, that's like... That's perfect.

That's amazing. I'm writing that down. Yeah, let's write that. I think that's the only time I would call the cops if I was an axe murderer. It would need to be a gun murderer. That's fine. I can handle that. So you have ever called the cops in your life?

Um, I did as a joke once. And I was like 10. They showed up at my house. No, I just hung up. It was just, I don't know. I think I was like trying to impress my brother or something. And I just called them and they showed up and I hung up.

Oh my God. Yeah. They gave me a talking to. They're like, this is not funny. Your brother will not be impressed. Never do this again. They shot you with a taser to teach you. Yeah.

They taught me a lesson. You've never called the cops. Um, no, I don't think so. you've never called the cops has one um no i don't think so um one time i was smoking weed in a park in boston and um this like i heard like yelling from like this building yeah that was like next to the park and um like screaming it sounded like people arguing and this like guy who i was smoking weed with was like we got to call the cops this is a domestic violence situation yeah and i was like all right you call the cops man i'm really high i'm just gonna go back up to my room and go to bed um but he did call the cops i saw out the window i was talking to them i call the cops. I saw out the window. I called the cops one time myself

because I was... This is such a fucked up story. I was buying what I thought was Molly from this older, cooler girl in my high school. Her name was Bailey. And she would sell us all

Molly. And we were doing it for a month every weekend being crazy. And we were doing it for like a month, you know, like every weekend, like, you know, being crazy. And I was realizing that I would start to hallucinate after coming down off this Molly. And there was one night where I was in my basement sleeping, like, you know, teens, like migrating into the basement. I hallucinated that men were robbing me that they were stealing things out of my basement and i ran upstairs and i like put a chair against the door like you do like when you're like fighting with your sibling you're like lock them in a room or something i did that

and i was like why is shit on molly and i was like i'm calling the fucking cops like blah blah i grabbed a serrated knife and i was wearing i was only in my underwear and i called the cops okay and the cops the eight cop cars show up at like three o'clock in the morning and i'm sitting in my front yard in my underwear cracked out of my mind, holding a knife. When did you tell the cops? I was like, these guys are robbing me. They're robbing me. You need to go inside and arrest them. And it was just your friends

asleep in the basement? No one was there. It was who was sleeping. There was not a single person in the house. And they came back out and they're like, yeah, no one's in there. Are you on drugs? And I was like, no. And then they shined a bunch of no no are you shine a bunch of their flashlights in my eyes and they're like your pupils are fucking huge you're on drugs where can we take you and so they took me to my dad's house um like in the ghetto my parents were divorced at this time and my dad's

friend luis who was a trucker was there and i was like luis like please you have to believe me these guys are robbing me my dad was like you're fucking high he brought the cops my house i was like luis please believe me you have to go look and he was like okay mio let's go let's go look at it and then we went back to the house and luis is like yeah no one's here and then i called bailey the next day i was like bailey i called the cops on myself last night what the fuck was that and she was like oh i found out that that wasn't molly it was actually tron and i was like what is i was like what is tron and she was like oh it's math you're just selling me math And I was like, what is Tron? And she was like, oh, it's math. You're just selling me math.

Very conspicuous that she found out right when you asked after this. Like, oh, sorry, I actually found out it's called Tron. Any drug named after a video game? Yeah, give me that Jeff Bridges shit. Oh, give me, can I try try some matrix do you have any matrix but i have that was the only time i called the cops and was on myself basically oh my god iconic i guess that's your tron legacy i will i've never done molly since because it's like so scary I've never done Molly I've done it twice

and the second time I did it I did like twice as much as you're supposed to and like the effect that it had was to like instantly make me so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open you got tired? i was at a party what

no i was i was literally i was at a party and i was like what is this is this this isn't molly um i was just so exhausted like literally could not like keep my eyes open and i was like if i fall asleep i'm gonna die like what is going on and but i did i ended up just going home and going to bed and then i was fine the next morning but i was like what the fuck was that yeah and then um my friend um my other friend was like hey i just did the same amount of molly of the same molly that you did and i also got really tired so sorry for telling you you were crazy on actually it was tron um wait okay so speaking of high school stories hasso what is this high school for queer adults thing you were talking about oh okay i got that

note and i have no clue what that means i just saw a tweet earlier and asked me what i wanted to talk about it's another it's similar to the lockheed martin discourse i love this everyone just dunking on it on on a queer person for i love it though do you have the cheetah it says they should make high school but for queer adults just learning flirting dressing weird being done with the day at 2 p.m isn't that just like having a job they should make high school for queer learning flirting being done with the day at 2 p.m i feel like it's very like sounds like you're really bad at being yeah it sounds like you're bad because you can just do all those things i mean you do i mean that's my life yeah it's like

it's not hard just another example of the infantilization of our preschool for queer adults yeah yeah or you can hang out with babies all day you can shit your diaper nap time that's really what that's really what they want time to have someone clean up on your alphabets but i do i think like maybe this person is just like disabled no no maybe this field like didn't have any uh queer people at their high school i didn't and they're just like i was doing tron you think that i was doing tron with gay people yeah maybe if you

did tron yeah we need a queer high school for adults we can do tron every day and call the cops on yourself because you're so high no i mean maybe i maybe high school just really sucks for them or something. But I'm like, that's a discreet personal experience. Probably has not that much to do with me. Yeah, I feel like high school is... It sucks for everyone. Literally every single person has a bad time. But I don't know if high school specifically is like what the point of it.

Just more of like a controlled space. And like, it's... I don't know. I just don't understand why people can't be normal yeah just go to a club yeah that's what a club is i know just go to a club just be an adult like mature have your interests change i need i need more information i need to know where they live at all you know it's like yeah before we tell them okay bye i'm gonna say bye uh bye woman with a uh straight boyfriend and they have a long yeah the um but yeah yeah that's definitely what that's what we're looking at here probably

absolutely um but um she's like a rock she's a rockabilly oh the if only i'm envious the the life of a rockabilly is like it's like a a lobotomized person in like i love rockabilly 60s yeah i'm from atlanta and there's a lot of rockabillies in atlanta i mean it, it is like every mid-sized city in this country is beset by rockabillies and they really control the scene. It's like some girl with a polka dot A-frame dress named Sparkle Pizza Poopy Bitch on Instagram who is constantly canceling everything.

I'm thinking of her right now I literally had a crush on her in high school Sparkle Princess freaky bitch I thought she was so cool no they really she fucking runs that vintage shop she runs that vintage shop like a McDonald's

you know she runs that vintage shop like a McDonald's You know she runs that vintage shop like a McDonald's Run by a lesbian who runs it like the Navy No but they really are everywhere They're some of the most powerful people in this country Is there a scene in New York? I mean there is I'm sure But like does it have any like sway? I think like all the trans women

where do they hang out i don't i right like where do they go williamsburg there's a there's a rockabilly bar in williamsburg which is their like last remaining safe space you know what you've been there i you know what i people people talk shit skinny dennis and rock and roll yeah rock and roll that's it people talk shit on skinnyny Dennis and Rock and Roller. Yeah, Rock and Roller. That's it. People talk shit on Skinny Dennis and Rock and Roller. Let me tell you, folks. I'm not saying I disagree, but their coffee, whiskey, slushy drink is very delicious. I like it a lot. Just give it to you in a little Greek deli cup.

I hate that bar. I hate that. That bar triggers me. I do love that. It triggers me. Yeah. They have a washboard there i genuinely i genuinely do like that drink though and i will sometimes try to drag my friends just to go get the one drink and then

leave because it's like really good drink is good that drink is very good i think there's another place that they serve it at that's the same business owners that's not a rockabilly thing god so i need to i need to figure that out yeah i forgot about rock and roll it's so loud in there too and it's just like it feels like stepping into a movie set it's like one of those bars that is like it's just feels like there's a vibe there's a movie set vibe it looks like a like a looney tunes like elmer fudd bugs bunny shootout western scene and everyone in there has totally accepted that this is a fine thing to do in their lives you know like they love this place it feels very the last time i was there it felt like all like tourists actually or like or just or like

williamsburg newish people yeah once it was years ago but we should go back maybe it's been gentrified oh my god let's all go gentrified rock and rollo they made it the 80s instead of the 50s i mean if they made it the 80s instead of the 50s it would still look the same because the 80s add the 50s is the 50s what's that there's that newish spot in ridgewood or like deep bushwick that kind of it's like an arcade bar and it's like 80s 50s themed oh my god i was kind of down i was kind of i went to a birthday party there i'd have to look it up that sounds cute ben ben loves video games though games ben is a gamer i mean i oh i literally only play fortnite i know that's going to sound very we need a queer high school of me, but I only play Fortnite.

What do you think about Goku? The new Goku one? The thing is, my Fortnite skin is one of the entry level basic bitches. I don't pay attention to the skins because I play for the gameplay. I don't play for the characters. Ben's skin is like a they them latina baddie um it's like she's a latina baddie yeah i have a uh

i have a a techno a well-known um new york techno producer who will not be named friend on my switch friends and you know how they like show you what games they're playing and you go to his uh switch and it's like you know played zelda for 40 hours played for 15 hours and then it's like played fortnite for over 860 oh my god i played for yeah wait you need to tell ben and i is off mic so that we can invite them to play with us yeah yeah here i'll just put it in the chat like a he techno producer there's fewer and fewer of them every day they are when you said he that was truly a twist ending yeah oh i don't know this person i mean i know who they are but i've never met them before yeah he's oh wait where is where is it it's's in the Zoom chat. Oh, Zoom chat. Okay. Edit it out.

We can update that out, folks. That's okay. We have beautiful editors here. How do I look at the chat? Click chat. You hit more and then hit chat. Boomer moment. Oh, yeah. You know that person? I know of them. We'll have to play fortnight uh okay let's talk let's talk about the let's go okay uh high school into teacher into um big

boob woodshop teacher okay oh yeah this is something we talked about no we didn't Is the queen The big boob lady Well Are we explaining it or are we just getting Oh we should probably explain That okay So how do you explain this There's a beautiful woman Who teaches at a high school

How do you put the most beautiful woman into words Probably the most beautiful woman In the world teaching at this high school um and people are so mad because she's trans and just because her but is she that's the question i've heard a lot of stuff to the contrary it's not my not my call to make that's i'm not gonna i'm not gonna clock a bitch alive but she's she's the i mean respect respect if if if this person is trans yeah and if they're not sure kill yourself yeah if they're not yeah fuck you yeah yeah seriously though fuck that so she if it's a hoax um i mean this went on like fox news also she's iconic yeah the look alone is amazing it's just the woodshop teacher who has

like double z prosthetic breasts like the biggest boobs i've ever seen on a person they're prosthetic of course um she's a woodshop teacher in Canada. I think outside of Toronto. And there was a lot of student film of her teaching woodshop with her giant, giant breasts, perilously close to an active band saw. Yeah, yeah. And this video hit Twitter. And then from there i went on to fox news and of course made the right wing very very very mad in this country um but then it kind of ricocheted

around even further and people were like oh is this an anti-trans psyop where a cis man is kind of making a mockery of trans people to prove a point that trans teachers are getting uh kind of making a mockery of trans people to prove a point that trans teachers are getting uh kind of treated too fairly and um or that they're getting sexual gratification by existing in the school around yeah my name so what do you think what's your call my call i think it's totally normal for kids to have a hot teacher absolutely i think they should be allowed to lust after as many beautiful teachers as they want as long as the teacher i wanted to bang yeah as long as the teacher and i think it's pretty clear all the students probably are wanting to you know get on that seem scared of her i'll be honest they're in love with her they're obsessed it's interesting that some of the backstory it seemed

like they were saying that like this teacher's been doing this for a while and only now are they like sharing the footage or something and i'm like well what triggered that yeah i feel like there's no way that's possible right yeah this teacher's been doing it for a long time yeah without like any because the trans panic stuff has been going on for like i mean look the boobs are huge like it is like i don't know how long you can do that without it being blown up well yeah i think the most wild part of the whole thing is like psyop or not um like i think this is a prime example of like the woke left taking things too far where like the school board came out with this like you know statement of defense and it's like you can defend

the teacher but like can you like ask her to put a bra on or something you know like for real because the nipples are really the most upsetting part is the protruding yeah yeah yeah i mean free love like whatever like i i'm down but like yeah the nipples are it's a high school come on we're not that we're not that far forward where that's just like it's definitely vulgar i would say she needs to get yeah it's definitely vulgar you should have to wear a bra if your boobs are that big prosthetic or not and the school should have intervened in some way one to just like protect this teacher safety and to like not have it spiral out into this insane trans pan or right-wing narrative but you know of course i think institutions like this

have to kind of double down and meet uh like activist class of the left at their most you know their furthest claims because there's a lot of retribution that happens when you don't do that but you're still going to face that retribution from the right i'm sure people are calling like bomb threats in on this school right now or whatever yeah so yeah i saw footage of a protest when it blew up yeah wait there's protests doesn't look good boobs are too big yeah they're a bunch of people. She's too sexy. To protect kids. She's too sexy. I mean, yeah, I don't know. I was a little heart warmed by some, I think, I can't really remember specifics, but just various cis people sort of like taking it with a grain of salt and be like, okay, even

if this is like what it says on the tin, it's like, this doesn't have to represent anything. Like, you know, boomers gonna boom. There's bound to be like someone like this in the world i mean it's just it's such an extreme case that trying to fabricate any kind of like value argument about like trans people and like being trans in public or being trans under your job like to have this be a pinpoint in which you're extrapolating an argument is just so off base because it is incredibly niche and almost meaningless. Where's the Gen Z trans girl that's doing this? I want to see that.

That's going to be the real God. I'll step up to the plate. I'll do it. Yeah, do it, Hessa. Get double Ds. I'll get it. The other joke I kept seeing is people like talking about how close she was to the uh to the saw and being like yeah it's an osha they're like it's an osha violation and i'm like no it's not an osha violation because it's in canada it's a u.s federal agency they have different regulations there i don't know what they are they're trying to like

literally make the case that her workplace is putting her in danger. Someone's got to call. Someone's got to call OSHA and my queen is in danger. Well, yeah. She's not. She's also not tying her hair up. She was not tying her hair up. I mean, I will say I remember shop class.

That was one of the biggest things you're supposed to do. Yeah. Hair up, ladies. Latex boobs in a bra. That was one of the biggest things you're supposed to do. Yeah. Carop ladies. Mm-hmm. Latex boobs in a bra. And do we think that the controversy would be less if it wasn't shop class? Like, is there something about the gendered expectation of labor that is causing the rage here? I definitely think trans shop class teacher adds a level of

shock to it absolutely it adds a level of shop to it I might even say well you know Jesus taught a shop taught shop class and he never tied his hair up and I don't understand this double standard

and if jobs exist yeah this woman's trying to be Christ-like. And she is succeeding, mama. She's such a queen. I love her. What has happened? Is she still doing it? I'm going to Google.

I was, okay. Oh, well, today there was like this clip I showed Hessa that's like, it seems like another person dressed up as this person like in protest and brought like 16 000 signatures to the city council of this whatever province or town or whatever and it was like uh like defend the children and like why are you dressing up the point why are you dressing up to yeah it's so

it's so complicated it's so funny to be like what you think it's fine if I dress like this you think it's sexy yeah yeah yeah you think I'm a sexy little woman you wanna fuck me you think I look like a freak when I dress up like this huh you better fucking like that

yeah the Steven Crowder mindset I got 60,000 signatures here. They all think I'm fucking hot as fuck. They want to fuck me for being a woman. Just like you do, you fucking freak. Petition to have the city council fuck me one by one. Right now, dressed like this, if you think it's so sexy. Well, I was gonna... I completely forgot about this uh you know this

this narrative and i was going to google big boob teacher and i realized that that was going to like give me some of the most heinous results also very interesting that this showed up at the same time as the AI Big Boob Anime Woman series. Oh, I missed that. There's just like people using AI to make even larger breasted anime girls. Oh, I've seen those. And being like, this is the ideal woman. And then there's the one that's like, it just folds in on itself where it's like all boob. Got you.

Like it's just like the boob, the boob just like the cleavage just like goes around under their body. And they're just sort of like a beanbag it's like completely spherical person the ideal beanbag with like an anime face on a perfect woman it's kind of true actually my shop teacher better look like that have you ever seen those guys who inject silicon into their um like balls and penis uh not in balls and penis but there's the the donut heads in japan oh my god which i also think that started in canada yeah it's like a 24-hour silicone thing and they just like put it in their head and then they push it into like a donut shape and they kind of just hang out at this club and be like check this out i look fucking cool yeah it's like body mod shit but it's temporary temporary. It's like saline. So then your body absorbs it and your dick goes back to normal?

Yeah, yeah. And so I thought, okay, that's weird. But then I've read more into it and apparently the Hollywood version of it is you're like a celebrity and you're like going to, say you're going to the red carpet for like the Oscars or something. You get a temporary boob job. Oh, that makes sense. You put the saline in your boobs and you get a temporary boob job. Oh, that makes sense. They put the saline in your boobs

and you get a little boob job like for the red carpet. That absolutely makes sense. I would do that. That I want to do. Yeah. I like the silicon like ball and penis people will be like,

it's like truly like one of the craziest things you'll ever see in your entire life. Because they'll be like um it's like truly like one of the craziest things you'll ever see in your entire life because they'll be like standing in like modified um like pajama pants and they'll be like about to go to about to go to the grocery store and um they will have like literally i'm not kidding like um balls the size of like the teacher's boobs and they are like literally like they need to use both hands to like carry them because they're so big and like so many of them have died they're always posting like memorials because they keep like getting like wiped out blood clots yeah by like because they're making their penis and balls like too big with silicon like okay

i've got you i don't know if you two have heard of this i just found out about this the other day it's called hang talks okay so i i found on this page it's this guy named injector chris he's a gay guy who does fillers and botox do you want your balls to hang lower we got you here at injector chris performs hang talks to make your scrotum hang lower and reduce scrotal swelling afterwards you can swing them around as much as you want and and for visual aid they have two pictures of roosters. One who has a distended throat and the other who has... Wait, wait. And I saw a video of this procedure being done.

And it literally... On a ball or on a rooster? I mean, they're both cocks. It actually works. What do you mean it works? It makes the balls longer hanging way lower yeah why would you want that though so you can swing them around do they wobble to exactly can you tie them in a knot can you tie them in a bow can you tie them in a knot

i don't need hang tucks no they're dragging behind me. I don't need to tie it. They'll tie it in a bow post. My footmen carry them behind me like a dress, like a gown. It's such a burden. If you want to see, go to Injector Chris on Twitter. I love the name Injector Chris. Injector Chris is so funny. For him to be like a gay guy with so much Botox, he's just like, Injector Chris. I want to go to Injector Chris. Injector Chris is so funny. For him to be a gay guy with so much Botox, he's just like, Injector Chris.

I want to go to Injector Chris. Another guy named Injector Chris 02 who just keeps posting like, just shut up again. He couldn't get the first one. We need a William Powers style fan base. R slash Injector Chris. Shut up again. first one we need a william powers style fan base r slash injector chris

shut up again there's people warning warning against diy injector chris injections yeah yeah um but he has he has videos of uh penis filler and um hang talks on his page it's honestly incredibly disgusting. He does penis filler. Okay, his penis filler costs $10,500. It's 15 syringes of hyaluronic acid. Of penis juice? Of penis juice.

Increases the girth of the penis by using Lush Fill trademarked customized filler blend. Both the shaft in the glands head of penis in parentheses can be treated to become enlarged enlarged is why do you want to enlarge the glands in well i guess like if you who has a small head i guess if you have like a big shaft you're gonna need the head to match otherwise it's gonna look like okay sure you know you're gonna have a pretty dick but i'm just imagining someone who has a normal

size dick with a tiny head and they're like doctor can you help me out please yeah maybe i can find one of those videos on his page if anything the head's usually too big yeah but then you get it in the shaft exactly i know it's really even it out wow i think we've all come out as pro penis um i mean if we're gonna be pro um big titty shop trans class teacher whatever we have to be pro penis injection you know otherwise you'd be misandrist and you can really call it your piece exactly

what's this quiz should we do a quiz should we round it out I totally forgot about the quiz we're an hour no let's do the quiz let's do the quiz it's quick it's 10 questions is this a regular

yeah we do quizzes all the time we love doing online okay this quiz is called which horror movie monster are you and i will be administrating it okay to you k and you ben and i will okay okay so this is to just decide what horror movie monster you are. Okay. Okay. Wow, spooky. It's a Halloween special. Question one. You find a lost kitten on the street. What do you do? A. I'm too busy to care.

I'm too busy to care. B. Find someone to take care of it. Take it to a rescue shelter. Or cuddle and make sure it's okay. Aww. That's actually. Aww. That's actually really hard. I mean, I feel like there's a lot of logistical things happening here,

but I'd have to go with take it to a rescue shelter. Okay, cute. Ben, what about you? I know you probably think I would discard it and go, ew, but I would take it to a shelter. I'm too busy to care. I would take it to a shelter. Okay. Even though I don't really like cats. They've wronged me many times, but I would take it to a shelter Okay Even though I don't really like cats

They've wronged me many times But I would take a kitten If it was a full grown cat I would probably be too afraid to touch it But if it's a kitten I would take it to a shelter I would take in a full grown cat Question two You're invited to a fancy tea party

How do you behave? I charm the host and get caught in the coat closet I always steal one thing from every place i go i gossip with the other guests and find out their secrets or i go and have a great time i love tea parties keep in mind this quiz is called which horror movie monster are you i think i would i think i would gossip I would gossip I would absolutely gossip Wow we're on the same page right now We're on the same fucking monster

Yeah oh my god Okay I would like dream to be caught in the closet But I just don't have any game famously No Same Time for some TV watching What might you watch? Hv comedy central lifetime sci-fi

or the weather channel hgtv i love hgtv uh i would say i mean if it's present day comedy central is just all like reruns of south park so i would probably go... Wait, what was the next to last one? Sci-fi? Yeah, I'd go sci-fi. Watch Stargate SG-1. Cute. There's a huge sale at your local department store. You. Find what I want and switch the price tag with something cheaper. Mm-hmm.

I always wear the same outfit, so I just see if that's on sale. Walk through the store randomly picking out items to buy or just people watch until i see something i like just switch the tags clearly of course i'm doing that i would randomly pick things randomly pick things which i actually usually do yeah i hate shopping shopping is such a distressing experience me too i you need a partner you need someone to be your i have to go along if someone's with me it makes it way worse i need them i need a mama i can act like a fucking freak oh i feel like i can answer

this next one for k but you're on a first date what happens i tell a lot of jokes and hope my date finds me funny ask a lot of questions and don't share much about myself talk a lot about myself and don't ask many questions or i get some i have to is there an option for explaining what hang talks is and why your balls look like that i think talking a lot about myself um would count as that i feel like i've been told unfortunately that I probably talk about myself too much, which is something I tried to work on, but I definitely would answer A, tell a lot of jokes.

On a date, I'm either telling jokes, but probably getting some. Okay. Yeah, telling jokes and getting some is more truthful. But I'm more getting some than jokes. Okay, we're halfway done done you just got a job promotion from now on you'll be the lead writer for a romance magazine head lumberjack construction

worker chief architect or morgue attendant construction worker okay um i guess the writer the editor thing okay cute i don't like working okay if you had to pick one which concert might you attend r kelly metallica rob zombie the wu-tang clan blue oyster cult or maroon five i feel like i can answer this one i would have to go wu-tang clan oh my god okay cute wu-tang clan would be so bad because blue oyster cult would be lit of like old hippies i feel like wu-tang clan would be like stroller pushing like park slope bombs at this point yeah maybe i'm not so much worried about the crowd i'm just talking about the musical experience i'm answering um maroon 5 for you no i want to see hessa does the guitarist from maroon 5 also follow you no it does the guitarist wait

who's the guitarist from he followed me one day followed me one day. I forget his name. I think his name's Patrick or something. He followed me. Oh my god. Well, you're a musician, so that makes sense. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. He follows really random people. We gotta figure out his name so I can check. I subtweet him every so often.

I hate the guitarist for the Maroon 5. I would suck if he followed me on here. I'd be so mad. I just make jokes about my different, how I used to have all these 2010s beat scene LA backpack guys, and now it's trans shit posters and comedians, and then I just throw in the guitarist for Ruin 5. James Valentine, is that his name?

Yeah, James Valentine, yeah. You're on notice, James Valentine. Yeah. Let me see. he's a cool guy okay i'm looking him up let's see here's my impression of james valentine wait he's not coming up he doesn't exist Oh he doesn't follow me That's sad Can't be something to believe in Cause I don't believe in you Uh blue icicle

Okay cute Damn Okay you're headed out for a vacation What's your ideal destination Somewhere I can party A quiet lakeside cabin I prefer a staycation or anywhere

in Europe not Europe not anywhere in Europe but I would somewhere I could party in Europe somewhere I can go to a lake I like an urban vacation somewhere I can party and then lake somewhere I would get murder it's

not even partying you get murdered yeah well you are the murderer in this this is which horror movie monster okay sorry i was i was thinking about which victim i'd be um you're having soup and you see a fly floating in the bowl. How do you react? I attempt to rescue the fly. I watch the fly drown. I eat it anyway. Or I calmly explain the situation and get my meal for free. I wonder which horrible monster would do that. Free meal!

I mean, like, I wouldn't I don't feel like you can really rescue the fly once it goes in but I feel like I would just like calmly remove it and keep eating really you would keep eating I mean depends on the situation I don't know I'm kind

of like I mean maybe I'm nasty but I just I guess flies really can I guess they can carry like disease probably not they touch poop all day I'm kind of a I'm nasty. You're nasty. I guess flies really can... I guess they can carry, like, disease. Yeah, probably not. They touch poop all day. I'm kind of a... I'm like a five-second rule kind of girl. Eat it anyway.

Ben, what about you? I'm getting a free meal. I'm not going to eat it, but I'm... Yeah, of course. No, I'm going to be clear. I'm not going to... I'm not talking about eating the fly anyway. Sounds like you were going to eat it.

I'm talking about I would take... Mm-hmm. No, I'm going to take the fly out. I'm going to rescue the fly and then continue eating the soup without the fly Is what I'm saying so it would be A Okay well it's too late now Alright whatever Yeah I fucking eat that fucking fly

Fuck that fly I'm gonna eat a spotted lanternfly Of the following which is your favorite movie This is the last question The Bridges of Madison County Love Actually The Goonies snow white snow white and the seven dwarves or the sound of music goonies love actually love actually definitely

love actually and makes me cry i don't like crying though okay let's get our results oh my god let's go I hope I get Jigsaw I would love to be Jigsaw from the Saw movie franchise sorry this is gonna take like a minute or two I have to I wanna be the aliens from science

oh yeah that's a good one Jigsaw's kind of he has like really high cheekbones. He has a really good facial structure. Okay. One second. I'm halfway done.

He went to Injector Chris. He definitely has hang talks. I keep wanting to say Inspector Chris. Inspector Chris. It makes you do a survey

before you answer. So I have to do two surveys. Oh my God. You're getting so much data stolen What's the survey for? You're on like some weird Chinese website Yeah what is the survey about?

One was about if I would ever consider working for Jiffy Lube Would you? Well would ya? Yeah In a pinch Yeah Feels like they're good at getting extra money out of people why won't it let me she's not bad

you're gonna have to work I thought it would be like have you have you seen an ad for one of these products in the last six weeks also just want to be very clear I'm not a big horror okay so I have the results we've got it let's go okay you are a gremlin a gremlin let's go always ready to party yeah maybe

i love you're always ready to party you may you can be an agent of mayhem and chaos but that's just you having a good time you love pranking others and though it's not sustainable it's fun while it lasts sustainable so true so true I feel like I should be a gremlin I know you do love pranks

I identified with all of that alright you are jigsaw wait really? for real? that's so sick I'm way more jigsaw I Wait, really? Whoa. For real? You got it. Oh, my God. That's so sick. I'm way more Jigsaw. I'd love to watch people squirm.

Wait, okay, what's the description? You don't enjoy the spotlight, but you like to be in control. You ultimately have good intentions, but you can be manipulative and maybe a little bit of a bully. Yeah. Wait, I forgot that Jigsaw- It's like you're describing the dynamic of this podcast. I forgot that Jigsaw was a good guy. He's not really.

He, like, will, like, torture a woman. Well, like, doing something bad includes, to him, like, being a drug addict and stuff like that. That's so funny. Yeah, it's like phone booth. Well, I'm incredibly self-aware i didn't even realize gremlins was an option that's so sick that's pretty sick wink wood okay who's the oh it's nick let's go that has all the gremlin songs oh my god i love gremlins too the gremlins too is great okay does anyone any closing thoughts, Kay?

Do you have anything to promote? Yeah, some plugs. When is this coming out? This is probably coming out early next week. Okay. I have a, well, I will just announce it here. I have a late night concept show K Night Live that's gonna be In Brooklyn mid November

Gonna be a big deal It's live streaming live audience Oh cute If you've never been to one of K's shows They're truly wonderful One of my music shows? Oh is it a music show? No it's like a

Like your dinner party one Oh right right right I was gonna say I don't really have any One of my music shows? Oh, is it a music show? No, it's like a... No, that's what I mean. It's like a... Like your dinner party one. What, a comedy show? Oh, right, right, right. I was going to say, I don't really have any shows. Except the one I went to like two weeks ago.

No, yeah, yeah. That was like the only... That's literally the only one, though. That's what I'm saying. That's like the first one I've done since like high school. Oh, my God. It was iconic, though.

So, it was fun, yeah. Well, yeah, we might do that again sometimes for Ad Parade, but yeah, K-Night Live, be on the lookout and i'm playing uh somewhere in brooklyn on november 10th for music and i'm opening for uh bitch and bahads at union pool on december 4th which is send us send us links we'll put it all in the description cool thank you so much k thank you so much, Kay. Thank you so much for coming on, Kay. Thanks for having me. Come back anytime. What a brilliant time. All right.

Bye, everyone. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Tonight is the night Are we gonna be here much longer? It's two o'clock in the morning giving Cause I'm in the mood for love I am nice and I think you're sweet

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Oh, baby, tonight is the night Tonight Oh baby, tonight is the night Tonight I'm going to go to the beach. Don't be wondering how I am Just try me and see It's not another one night stand No, that's how it seems To be real, if that's what you're thinking

We can make plans While we leave Give in, give in I can't take it no more Give in I'm giving I'm giving I'm giving I'm giving

I'm giving I'm giving I'm giving I'm giving I'm giving of love baby of love tonight tonight baby tonight

tonight baby Oh baby, tonight is the night Girl, baby Oh baby, tonight is the night Baby, ma Oh baby, tonight is the night Girl, baby Oh baby, tonight is the night Girl, baby Oh baby, tonight is the night Girl, baby

Oh baby, tonight is the night Come on baby The night, the night Come on baby The night, the night Come on baby The night, the night