Seeking Derangements - SD 166- Undercover Billionaire 3: Community Guy

Episode Date: October 19, 2022

Welcome back brokies! Hesse, Jake, and I are back in the boardroom. We open with how I made a gravedigger buy me a hotel room, we do some scheming for Jake's new bar, and how the economy of bushwick nightlife hits its ceiling at $400. Then of course we get into our favorite billionaire's most recent antics(plus Monique ((ew))) This is our last free review episode! The remaining 11 episodes with special guests will all be paywalled. Find that on our patreon:)

Thank you. Hello everyone and welcome back to episode 3 of Undercover Billionaire. I'm back always, as always with jake and hessa um before we get to the show i want to talk a little business i want to talk about some recent leverage i've uh i've done some recent business deals i've done jake i know you're always doing deals always um welcome to the boardroom let's let's name this segment it's called the boardroom it's to the boardroom. Let's name this segment. It's called the boardroom. Take a seat with us. I'll do a little music introduction thing.

Welcome to the boardroom. Okay, before we get to the boardroom, what are we drinking in the boardroom today? I don't have grape bees. A little white. You're drinking a white? I have water. I have

an entire bottle of rosé next to me. That I bought for $12. That's boardroom behavior. Boardroom behavior. I carried it home by the neck of the bottle. I didn't even think about how I

looked, but I realized I was walking down Mulberry. Where do you get a bottle for $12 in Manhattan? Mulberry Street, baby. There's a bunch of places. I mean, it's just cheap wine. You can always find cheap wine. Yeah.

But I was holding it like in... I was holding like a weapon like this. Like you'd hold a baseball bat. And I realized I looked insane. Holding a $12 bottle of rosela i was gonna hit it on someone's head but i didn't and we're here thank god but some recent um okay some recent leverage some recent business starts off with a little so you were you were out of town recently i was out of town recently i didn't tell you about this because i was really proud of it in the

moment but it's also something that's kind of embarrassing. Not embarrassing to share, but it's embarrassing to be someone who shares it. We'll decide it later. Okay, you can tell me if it's embarrassing to make it into content. But my grandma died. Ew, so embarrassing. Yeah, that's cringe. It's incredibly embarrassing to have a family member who dies.

But the thing is, she was 96. She had a full, long life, and she passed very peacefully. Neither of you have given me condolences? No? No. Okay. Crickets. Crickets in the room.

The boardroom is no place for emotion. The boardroom is no place for emotion. I just think, okay, how old are you and how old is she? How old was she? How old are you and how old was she? Thank you for acknowledging my grandma's death. Finally. At least I'm 20.

She was 96. I'm 27. Okay. Yeah. So she was like 300 years older than me. It's totally okay. But she passed peacefully. She was found by family. Had a full long life.

Anyways, I went back to Iowa to go to her funeral, which was great, beautiful. I wrote a eulogy. I slayed a eulogy. Okay, you have no idea. People cried. People died. People died. People cried. People died. My grandma. laid a eulogy okay you have no idea people cried people died people died people cried

people died my grandma um we get it we get it um and anyways you know the funeral went off well. We were going to the, you know, you drive into a funeral procession, you drive to the cemetery, okay, and we got there. My whole family got there in this funeral procession. And when we got there, we realized that the plot that had been dug up was not her plot. It was not.

Is there a family plot? We lost the plot. She's a single. My grandpa's dead and she literally lost the plot and so they're next to each other so they're supposed to be buried next to each other did they fill the plot?

well so there was this random woman's plot that was dug up that she was supposed to be buried in you know and it's like this is not this is not my grandmother's plot. Okay. We can't bury her here.

And the only person that was in sight was a literal grave digger. Okay. I had no clue that this job existed. Like a crooked old, like weird hunchback type guy. I'm not even kidding. He was literally like covered in dirt and like wearing. Do they not? So. He was literally covered in dirt. And wearing all brown.

You don't get a representative. You go and do it yourself. They give you the key. The cemetery director was in our what do you call it? A procession. He was in a car in the procession. He was in the hearse.

He got out. He was in the hearse. And so he got out and, you know, one of them was in the hearse. Wait a minute. You know, he was, he was in the passenger seat of the hearse or something. He was not in the coffin.

Okay. Let's hope he was not in the coffin with my grandma. Who's dead by the way. Yeah. And you're laughing and you're laughing. Um, and, and so we, you know know we told him like hey like

this is not her plot her headstone is not her name like this is insane this is like absolutely insane like this is the like it's a cliche like millennial thing to say, but you truly had one job. There is one thing you had to do, truly, is just dig up the right thing, and that's it. And that should be the easiest thing you do. Well, he's got to coordinate so much. But you fucked up. You have to have a system that's just plots are numbered, and it's like, this number goes there. Like, it cannot be that hard, goes there like it cannot be that hard right it really cannot be that hard well so the big question is did was your grandma's real

plot given away or was it still free no okay so what happened was i told you know they ushered us into a chapel on site and we're basically like you know sorry they made us listen to a few more prayers they brought out some fake ass priests to give a few more prayers to like you know, sorry. They made us listen to a few more prayers. They brought out some fake-ass priest to give a few more prayers to, like, you know, hold us over while they figured out this fucking mistake they made. And I was like, I know what you're doing, but we've already said our father four times today.

We have no reason to say it. This is not a part of this, you know, you know, funeral right now. But the representative for the cemetery came back in and was like, guys, we'll have to bury her tomorrow. I was like, no way. I made a day

trip in from Des Moines, Iowa to come to this random ass rural town in Iowa to bury my grandmother and now I have to buy a hotel. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. grandmother and now i have to buy a hotel and i was like no no no no no of course i was gonna buy a hotel and stay to see my grandmother buried but i told them i walked so the plot was available the correct plot yes they just dug up the wrong woman's plot and that woman she's still alive she's already paid paid. As far as we know.

I'm sure the cemetery director is calling her and being like, hey, how are you feeling? Are you feeling okay? We haven't dug up. What are you doing for the next two? Any big plans for the next couple weeks? She said, how are you doing? We're running a special for the next week. If you die, your plots are already dug up.

Do you have any risky things you want to do? We're paying for you to go bungee jumping! Free bungee jumping! But I walked up to the funeral director and I was like, this is insane.

I was like, this is just insane. This is insane. And the gravedigger was standing behind him and I was just, it felt so I was such an insane experience because it was like this is. You went Karen mode. Oh I was a big ass fucking Karen. And the thing is you should be allowed

to be a Karen when it's justified. It's rarely justified but in when someone is delaying. You took out every moment that you wanted to be a Karen when it's justified. It's rarely justified, but when someone is delaying... You took out every moment that you wanted to be a Karen living in New York and you saved it for this. This one justifiable day. I'm picturing your whole family just

turning and looking at you when this went wrong. Just like you cracking your knuckles. The funny thing is my mom was like, it's fine it's fine ben just buy the hotel room and i'm like i am not buying a hotel room no one is buying a hotel room tonight we're gonna do it at midnight it's like 200 if you want yeah we're digging get out there right now we're not paying for this shit and i was like the hotels they're shitty also it's like rural iowa

there's one nice place you can stay and it costs like 200 a night no way and so no way i told the funeral director i was like this is you know this is crazy like this is i was calm at first but i was like this is a mistake that is like this is the worst thing you could do you know that right and he was like yeah you know it was just i can name five worst things that a funeral director could do but come on like plausible plausible no it is bad it is really bad yeah and i was just like okay um he was like you can lose the body he was like he was like oh it's a mistake he was like it's just a, he was like, oh, it's a mistake. He was like,

it's just a mistake. I understand, you know, this might be painful for you guys, but it was just human error. And I was like,

yeah, well, a mistake implies you fix it. And if you don't fix it, it's not a mistake. You're just fucking people over. And that's when I

started to get really mad at him because it was clear that he was not willing to cede anything to, you know, he was not willing to meaningfully acknowledge that he needed to pay for my hotel room.

You wanted, like, the next one free. Were you the only one who needed a hotel room? Or give me a free plot. No! Yeah. It was multiple family members who we were all planning to just make it, you know, make it a long day. We'd drive in, we'd do the funeral, we'd drive we drive out right and that now became impossible so we had now have like 10 people who need to

buy a hotel room okay that's a lot of money if you add that up which is why he didn't want to pay it but i told him i was like why is it the burden on us to pay for these hotel rooms when this is a egregious mistake you have made and he was was just like, well, you know, it's just a human error. And he said that again. And I was like, what human? First of all, what human? The gravedigger? And then I looked at the gravedigger and I was like, he should be automated. Okay, I kind of went,

I kind of got really mean. I told a gravedigger you said that? You said he should be automated? Yes! Yes! It's very mean. Jesus but look i was it was i was in grief like those robots in la like the food delivery robots but it's actually insane that you have just one guy digging hole you're not even using a piece of machinery i'm sure he uses where are they supposed to get a new one a new guy he was was covered in dirt Yeah, you're digging a hole

Get a piece of machinery Get a little fucking bobcat or something Someone needs to wheel it up to the grave Come on, come on That man should be automated, I'm sorry That man should be automated What are they going to install a system so that those things can get around anywhere? Sure And then they're just going to dig it up

and no one's going to check does anyone does anyone even want to be a gravedigger in 30 years should that job even be it's machine error and you're going to say why did no one check on this

there should be a person doing this give me my hotel room. Anyways, I kind of yelled a little bit. But I was more just mad because I was like, my family shouldn't have to pay for this. And the guy was giving me attitude. So anyways, I leveraged this horrible thing that happened into free hotels for me and my family.

For everyone? She got everyone a free hotel. And the nice one? Mm-hmm. You got the nice hotel. You got Iowa's only nice hotel. I'm not staying at a fucking roadside inn after my grandma died. Neither is my mom.

Neither is anyone. What would you have done if they hardballed you? Would you have taken a cheap hotel? No, I just would have kept arguing which is they literally they had they like had to pay me

to leave basically so they got you all hotels I truly was not going to accept were you the hero to your family no they were incredibly

annoyed with me but you know they'll appreciate it at the end of the month when they need to pay rent okay that's what I say but I'm just saying that's a little business lesson But you know what? They'll appreciate it at the end of the month when they need to pay rent. Okay. That's what I say.

But I'm just saying that's a little business lesson. And so how'd it go the next day? Fine. She went to the ground. Normal. Fine. I didn't see the guy. The guy wasn't there. But it was beautiful. I had my family in the other hole.

I got the closure we needed. Exactly. Yeah, he wasn't there. They probably killed him. They probably filled the other plot with the gravedigger. We have to put someone in here. We have to put someone in here. That mean gay guy had a really good idea about automating you.

Buy a machine. Sorry, guys. I know this is going to come across as so mean, but you don't understand the moment. Listener, please don't judge me for this. I think you slayed. I was maybe a little too mean. That's why I was hesitant to talk about this moment,

but I figured it's a bonus. We're drinking. This is a Grant Cardone moment. No, I think that you slayed say that and we've all done much worse for much less. One of the meanest things I've done. It has to definitely have. That's my business lesson. That's my leverage.

You turn a family tragedy into as many free hotel rooms as possible. And that's going to appear behind you, just like an undercover billionaire. That's a flash graphic. That's your motto. You can tell gravediggers to be automated.

Look, what you got to do is you got to tell gravediggers they need to be automated. When you see people who are low vibrational workers, you need to tell them they should be automated. I love your fixation on the fact that he was covered in dirt. I know because he should be. I was shocked that that is how they still did things. It felt like a...

It's like it felt to me like it'd be like going to London and seeing a Dickensian orphan asking for porridge. Porridge! They need to connect Grave Diggers to Web 3. Oi! Spare porridge! I think they have a special place that they went to ask for porridge. I don't think they ask people on the street.

You know what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying. I know. It felt like that. It felt like that. Anyways, Jake, you it's anyways jake you say i love that you call that a business story it is a business story i made money i made money in the form of hotels yes that's a business story look we might have different approaches well because because when you apply business to life you succeed when you apply business to life, you succeed. When you apply business to life, there's no end.

When you treat everything like a little transaction. Exactly. Every conversation. I'm picturing the words behind Jake, apply business to life. Apply business to life. Business equals life. Business equals life. And if you're listening at home, you can write down you can write that one down that one's free

next one's gonna cost you next one will cost you jake do you have any business stories you want to share some business stuff well just some stuff that happened in the last week um so i realized so heaven the bar that i now own and run is it's over by the jefferson l stop which is like a horrible disneyland like of like for like commuters it's terrible but we need we're up like two blocks away so we're kind of out of the way and so i'm designing a billboard or possibly a full like painted mural that we have to put up and i don't know what to put. So that's a question out there for the listeners. To direct foot traffic from the Jefferson Hill? Say one block away?

If you just had a billboard that said heaven is closer than anything, one block away. There should be a picture of you in makeup. You want to see heaven tonight? And have a gun next to it. No, in a pantsuit with, like,

tinted fingers, and it says underneath there's a business nearby or something. There's a business nearby. I think you do like a sky backboard, you know, like a very heavenly sunset or clear blue sky and you just say heaven dot dot dot

it's closer than you think in italics and then you have an arrow that says one mile right having i do like that yeah we keep in mind what on this wall that i'm thinking of putting this up illegally on um are the big thing we have to compete with is a giant sign from house of yes that says ketamine the musical okay so what you do what you do what you do is you... How much space do you have? I mean, as much as I take. Okay, so above it, you make it seem like it's a completely different billboard.

Okay? It's yours. You wrote it. Below, you do my idea. Heaven, dot, dot, dot. It's close to anything. Above it, you do another big arrow next to it, and you just say, they are racist. Yes.

It's like, sponsored by Bushwick Neutral Aid. It's a map of the area. And it's an arrow to every other place. House of no, they are racist. And then right below heaven dot dot dot. Heaven, $9

well drinks. We're not racist. I'm not racist. The other thing from this week is my... When Rash opened, I tried to get everyone, the whole staff, to wear matching uniforms.

Everyone hated it. Didn't last one day. Last week, my staff at Heaven came to me and said, we want matching uniforms. And I teared up. It was a full circle moment. And so now Ben's going to be making...

Wow, the life of a business owner. I'm going to make it. See, the synergy that we can, just the closed circuit loop of money that can flow back and forth. I think it was, maybe it was Angel who said it once, but I don't remember. Some DJ said it.

Same $20 bill? Basically, yeah. Like, Nightlife in New York City is just the same $400 switching hands over and over and over again. Absolutely. It's so funny because you think that people make good money,

and people do manage to make good money. No, but everyone turns around and gives it to the person that gave it to them. Yeah. And that way, it is the truest form of mutual aid. You know? A closed circuit of the same. The most low-earning

people just floating each other. It's closer than you think. Mutual aid. It's closer than you think. Literally. Oh, think you're not impl. It's closer than you think. Literally. I think you're not implicated in mutual aid. You are.

Who's got my money? Who's got my money? Who's got my money? Grant driving through Bushwick. I know these guys got my money. Who's got my money? I know. I need to identify

the key gamers in the town. Yeah, key player. She's talking about doing ketamine. And then the other thing, the other good thing about this week was, so Elaine, as we'll get to, is working harder on her deli idea and she's starting to think about

how she's going to make that happen. And as someone who's trying to start a deli myself right now, I really synergize with her. Where are you starting a deli? Rash Del now, I really synergize with her. Where are you starting a deli? Rash Deli. You really synergize with her? I synergize with her right now. Sorry, that was a double whammy.

I really synergize with her Rash Deli. With her Rash Deli. Wait, why? Problem? No, I synergize with Elaine. I feel that energy between her and I. No, Elaine is doing the best. Elaine has minions by the end of this episode.

She's definitely killing it. Foot soldiers. But so when she's talking about getting suppliers, I'm in the same step. I'm curious. Wait, where is Rasha really going to go? Her story rings true. Where are you putting the deli, Jake?

Across the street. That red building. I pointed out to you like ten times. Wait, behind it? The big warehouse? No, no, next to the Dollar General. Oh. Nice. Yeah. That makes sense. Oh, wow. Okay.

That will slay. Oh my god. Although, but the, like, the owner of the building has, like, mental health issues. As in, like, she doesn't like to pick up her phone and she yells at me. But she wants to sound nice. What was it Monique said? Vulnerability is an asset?

Exactly. She's vulnerable. She never said you can't use other people's vulnerability. You have to act vulnerable. You have to become more vulnerable than her. Exactly. Answer the phone even less. Yeah.

Or just be like, you're crazy. You should be in this, you should be in this crazy. It's time to cash out. Would you take $10? I'm putting you in a home. Okay, should we get to the episode? Let's do it. Thank you. so this was our first 45 minute episode so there's a little bit less material but um it's still like every episode of undercover billionaire absolutely amazing who do we want to lead with today? For being one of the worst episodes

of the series, it's still better than 99% of TV. Literally. Okay, we led with Grant first, then we did Monique. Let's lead with Elaine this time. Because Elaine had some pretty funny moments. It opens with her if a listener just reminds you.

It opens with her absolutely slaying in her rag and bone cleanup sesh yeah she's got the jane forth rubber gloves she's going to town and then she meets um the two girls from ghost world who live literally literally i had that written too that's so funny i was like that's where these bitches took the bus to. They moved to Fresno. I have that in my notes. I have that in my notes.

I was like, someone took a bus to Fresno. It's like degenerate. It's like if they both had degenerative diseases. Exactly. Okay, so if we go back to the first episode, they're paying what? Like $25 a night to stay here? Or $400 a month, like Elaine did.

Or $400 a month. They're nightly rate. I feel like Elaine is the only one who's slated monthly rate. Mm-hmm. These are just people who got stuck there. Yeah. Because of the pandemic. They've spent COVID at a weird inn. Which is kind of a slut. I mean, like so many people

who like... It's like summer camp. Yeah, I i mean it probably really sucks for them they like lost housing under covid and everything like a lot of people did like they're not they they didn't seem like particularly like downwardly mobile to me they just seemed like they hit a rough patch and had to like find a place to stay in a pinch and they moved to sheps but i love their names okay kelly i also love their names. But the name Gentry, that's like a saloon hooker name. Genuinely, I'm not kidding. Unironically, I love that name.

Gentry is a beautiful name. J-E-N-T-R-I. Yeah. I was thinking the same thing. It's a beautiful name. It's a beautiful name for a daughter. I'd name my daughter Gentry. Gentry Mora.

She would be sexy as hell. Anyways. Yeah, she'd be hot as fuck. She would be sexy as hell. Anyways. Yeah, she'd be hot as fuck. She'd be hot as fuck. Gay dad. Gay dad. Gay dad hot dog. My daughter's gonna be fucking cunt.

You bitches are gonna be so jealous of my baby when she's born. She's gonna slide out slaying. Serving cunt. gonna slide out slaying serving cunt um but she meets these two and she kind of immediately

conscripts them as free laborers she's like well one of the first things she says to them is um are you working do you have jobs

yeah are y'all working do you have jobs i'm unemployed right now because of covid yeah i'm on unemployment for the meantime, so I'm waiting.

They say no, it's COVID. And she says, quote, They're like, no, we live at Shep's. She says, since you're not working, can I commandeer you? Which just means, oh, since you don't work, work for me for free. Can I be your boss? Yeah. Is she paying them? She has to be paying them, right? No, she's not paying them. Work for me for free. Can I be your boss? Yeah. Are they,

is she paying them? She has to be paying them, No, she's not paying them. No, no way. Later, I think we'll see some developments

in their relationship with Elaine, but right now, they're just doing it for free because they're bored. Not paid. They're bored. I mean, this is where the fantasy

of like, this being real, really starts to unravel in this episode, especially in the Grant section. Actually, I was thinking this is what shows specifically what happened during COVID as opposed to what

wouldn't be possible not during COVID because I do feel like some of these things could have really happened only because people are in the middle of COVID. They might have been getting government assistance and they those girls were on unemployment yeah they were saying yeah absolutely and so like they like there's camera crew and everybody and like they just you know they just decided okay we'll help this girl why not because really more than about business this show is more about like the pandemic Yeah. It's about how you can leverage

the desperation people feel into maximized profits for an upper class. Because it really doesn't work. This kind of thing doesn't work when you just knock on someone's door in the middle of when there isn't

COVID going on around you. It doesn't work. Elaine basically is like, hey guys, I'm cleaning. Do you want to help me clean? This place can be not when there isn't like covid going on around you yeah it stuff doesn't work so elaine elaine basically is like hey guys i'm i'm cleaning do you want to help me clean this place could be so cute can i commandeer you and they're like yeah sure and it's like a really sweet like sleepover vibe like there's something very comforting where it's like just just girls fixing up ships we're gonna make it beautiful like homemakers and then elaine says something elaine has a grand moment where she goes well that was awesome

she says that was awesome possum smart schmoss and sauce me when i win some free workers. Awesome sauce. He tells her her name. She's like, that's a bitchin' name. Which I also loved. God, I love her. Elaine is so cool. Elaine is so fucking cool. Okay, so in that same segment,

after she says the awesome possum shmoshum sauce, she has a quote that is, the decadence of my life compared to this almost nauseates me. Gorgeous quote. I am doing it as Queen. But right at, she wakes up in her tiny little room. She says, the decadence of my life compared to this almost nauseates me. And then she starts pulling out clumps of her hair.

Clumps of her hair. Like fistfuls. She's literally looking at a fistful of hair in her hand and she's like no way can i get my extensions done for 300 in fresno and it's like bitch yeah 300 it's like that's the lowest price you could name? Like, what? So it's like unclear why Elaine has extensions. Yeah. She doesn't really have the hair type for it.

Her hair also doesn't look that full, you know? She's not like va-va-voom bombshell. She's like natural, working. Yeah, I was shocked to see that she had extensions. But she's like very sick. working. Yeah. Yeah. I was shocked to see that she had extensions. But they're falling out.

She's like very sick. She's just covering up. She's covering up. Stage four cancer. Awesome. Awesome. So literally clumps of hair are falling out from Elaine's head because she's not in her boho chic excavated mansion. What she goes to now, you know, she cleans up sheps and then she kind of starts to make her plan come into fruition, right? She knows she needs to make it into a deli,

a grab-and-go slash bar with a, like, grocery element. So she decides she needs to meet with Anna, who is the woman who runs the meat market in, like, a bougie part of town. Mm-hmm. And she says something pretty good when she's driving over here. She talks about something her dad told her, which is so, I think it's like sober minds sober minds which is not she she clarifies doesn't mean you're actually sober or have anything to do

with alcohol but it means just sort of taking a refresher before you go into a situation to make sure you're not coming in hot-headed which i think is actually a pretty good advice oh absolutely but then she says um when she's talking to anna my favorite part is when um anna's like showing her the deli and she's pointing at like meat behind the butcher counter and she's like um so what would you you would like cook that and it was like yeah you know you put it on a grill you know get a nice cookout going and she's like oh wow cool and then it's like all right now let's get down to business yeah she makes she makes like the most like limp dick attempt at like actually asking anna about her daily life which is like oh so you you cook meat at the meat market okay can i steal your

idea and replicate it at chefs please and have you work for free but one thing she she was also talking about lessons from her dad and she was like something my dad told me was you know don't steamroll everyone you know don't lose your shit and don't act like a maniac and elaine does that in every episode every every single almost every interaction, honestly. After this episode, that's her natural state. Screaming.

Imagine you wake up and your hair is falling out and you've just conscripted two hookers to work for you. The girls look so nice. I'm kidding'm sorry i'm sorry i love them i love century kelly you're a queen you're both queens um but she's like don't lose your shit and act like a maniac it's like babe you've been you've been on this tip um she makes a little she makes a little oh they're amazing. They're so sick. They're somewhere between Discord and Brandy Melville.

Exactly. Not exactly on either side. And probably have no clue what Brandy Melville or Discord is. They're just normal women. Exactly, which is why they're queens. They're absolute NPCs. Seeing a normal woman and be like, so she's somewhere between Discord and Brandy Melville.

It's giving reformation, but kind of like low rent it's like if reformation was deformation it's giving like reformation in like brazil iowa it's true i haven't been Urban Outfitters in like five years. I love it. Oh my god, I haven't either. Well, I never, I bought some clothes at Urban Outfitters like in their heyday, but I remember always feeling like way too self-aware when I was in one because I would like hear music

that I was like, this is music only I know. Or like, I just, I felt really, really targeted as a customer because I would see things that I was like, oh, I like that, but I know that my tastes are so discreet and so special, blah, blah, blah, annoying thoughts. And I'm like, if these are now market points, I hate it. I hate it. Well, every time I used to go into Urban Outfitters,

Grant Cardone would come up to me and be like, what do I got to do to get you in this Captain America t-shirt today? You're walking out of here in a novelty shirt that has Pulp Fiction characters on the front. Grant Cardone as an Urban Outfitters employee.

Listen, bitch. Indie Sleaze is coming back in. We need to get you in some 7-inch eyelashes, okay? This is what all the bitches are doing downtown. Look at this tiny plastic record player. That's so cute. It's a holographic backpack.

$7.99. It's in the clearance section. It's got a hole in it. You want this see-through holographic backpack. Everyone's going to see all the K you're doing, see all the weed you're doing, see all the dildos you're carrying around. Look at this bugger hat. Schoolboy Q has the same hat. Came in here last

week. Hand to God. Schoolboy Q got a hat right from me. This very hat. So Elaine, basically, she has her meeting with Annana and she's basically just like like can i replicate this and she wants anna to be her supplier she basically like wants to like create a distribution channel with anna and i think she is sort of soft offering equity it's unclear to me how any of these businesses work on the equity side like monique's is actually the

most transparent about these, but the other two really like never talk about whether they're starting a brand new business or whether they're a majority like shareholders or if they own a hundred percent or anything like that. Yeah. Yeah. She, well, I mean,

Elaine is doing delay when you pay, you know, Elaine, she's doing that in like every kind of iteration where she's just like, at some point, you know, we can, we can talk about equity. we can talk about working together,

blah, blah, blah. And she manages to string enough people on. I will say up to this point, Anna seems the most skeptical and it is literally because Anna doesn't want to fuck Elaine and she also doesn't think Elaine is cool. She's also a successful business person where everyone else is either on

unemployment or is hemorrhaging money and driving trucks to pay the mortgage on the building. And they're both the archetype of leathery skinned woman who looks like she's a smoker.

Elaine is the top tier. And you can't have two of those? Elaine is the Charizard. Elaine is the Charizard. Elaine is the Charizard. Anna is the Charmander of that leathery woman scale. Well, really, like, Gwyneth is the Charizard. Yeah, but she's not here.

Right. Yeah. But they're kind of playing to an archetype. Yeah, absolutely. Speaking of which, I bought my first Goop product this week. I'll give a review next week we should do product reviews here we should do product reviews here too because elaine

is like a boots on the ground you know like going out and like uh doing construction and shit like type gal and i i feel like when it's down the house girl yeah boots exactly exactly when if yeah i don't think gwyneth would touch a bulldozer. No. Yeah. Elaine loves that. I genuinely like Elaine. That's the best part about Elaine. I also love in Elaine's, when Elaine is talking to Anna,

and she is like, yeah, you know, Shepard's in. They're just having so much trouble. She starts spilling the business woes of shepherds into like this woman and i thought that was very well she's like it's not her place she tells um elaine i mean i guess she owns it now she's like taking over the lease but she tells she tells elaine to her face basically she's like i think downtown fresno like where you're looking at that's a very hard nut to crack and she says quote unquote it's turning into blight and crucially what anna is trying to relate to um elaine here is that downtown fresno is not uh gentrifiable right like yeah they're downtown like with a lot of like small towns throughout the country like the money

is not going to move back from the suburbs into the city because at least it takes like a it takes like a 30-year process of gentrification to get that there yeah and like no single vendor process but that process of gentrification is not spearheaded by delis it's spearheaded by real estate developers who are going to say let's turn chefs into a luxury apartment building then the put a bath pro shop let's play and let's into a luxury apartment building. Then the devs come. Let's put a Bass Pro shop. And let's put a museum next to it. Yeah, but you can't just make this stab at gentrification, which is like, okay, let's have an artisan deli.

No, she's actually slaying. She's slaying anti-gentrification. No, I know. She's making it way harder. She's just being equitable. She's derailing the process. But basically what Anna is trying to say is, she's being like, bitch, the money's going to stay in the suburbs. No one's going being equitable. She's derailing the process. But basically what Anna is trying to say is she's being like, bitch, the money's going to stay in the suburbs.

No one's going to go. It's not going to go there. But she's got a great plan, which is the lunch program. She said this in the last episode where she's basically like, these buildings, these government buildings are still active and everyone here needs to get lunch. No, you catch the suburban commuter class of people, you give them

basically a cultural outpost in downtown where they can still feel comforted that they can go get charcuterie or something. Which that might be a effective enough business

plan. We'll have to see Elaine goes on to basically just prepare for this meeting with Anna she does more cleaning she pitches Russell so she realizes that as is she has no money she doesn't have money to pay a painter

or for someone to take the trash out she's got nothing so she looks around on the walls and she realizes there's a lot of stuff in there. Yeah. And she realizes she needs to do some liquidation. That is the name. That is the name of the game.

Right before this, she does one of her bold big tips, which is don't be shy. And then it cuts to her being cracked out talking to a queen. Don't be shy quote-unquote flirt um also yeah also when it goes to the next part um it's pretty clear that anna like completely gave her the runaround because um she's like i have to prepare for my um meeting with anna who's coming here um which is in two weeks. That's the earliest she could do.

And you could tell the way Elaine said that. She was freaking out about the fact that the earliest that this woman could do is late next week, when she has three months to get this business finished. She literally says two weeks from now. Which is normal people's schedule. No, I know, but Elaine is pissed.

She's freaking out. She's acting like a maniac because of that um so because elaine needs to fund this kind of this this rapid transformation of straps into this dingy you know like beer hall into something that she can show anna that anna has faith in investing in being a supplier and potentially uh maybe owner elaine is like we need to paint we need to get as much renovation done as we possibly can within these two weeks we need money let's sell all of let's sell everything all of your stuff russell yeah and she sits russell down and she is just like russell i need money to do this do you want me to handle it i will handle all of it if you don't want me to handle it you can just say no and she's like i'm going to sell everything she goes i'm gonna sell everything they every time

that she sits someone down for like an important conversation, they do an insane editing thing in Elaine's, specifically for Elaine. Where she goes, she says like, I'm so all this stuff, all of your memories and everything that you've like accumulated over like 20 years of owning us. It's so sweet.

I know it's going to make a lot of money and I need it. I'm going to sell it. Is that okay? And then they, they look at each other for like 30 seconds and then it cuts and he's sitting on like the other side of the table and he goes, yeah Had this idea that I could take some pictures of everything that we're not going to be using And see if I can sell what we're not using because I think that some of that I've been looking on the neon signs

Right, you know it starts to really add up and we they just they're not gonna be we want a whole new look right we Want a whole new look so I feel like it's a good source of revenue to kind of pay for some of the things like i need a proper painter so do you want me to just handle all of it and i'll just tell you how much it is and you can just say yes or no yeah okay all right it's pretty unusual that a landlord would let you sell their stuff yeah and elaine says probably my favorite line of this episode which is it's pretty unusual that a landlord will let you sell their stuff i mean i imagine like texting my chinese landlord and being like hey can i sell all

the lanterns in the lobby it's just like what i don't hey i really want to capital i really want to paint my apartment something other than white can i sell all of the doormats and like arguing if he said no yeah so but elaine she has the the prize she has her eye on here for liquidation is yeah like booths whatever but the the pearl okay is these neon signs that russell has everywhere adorning like every 20 neon signs every space of 1500 a pop okay and it's just like but like corona blah blah blah and elaine is, she sits Gentry and Kelly down, and she's like, okay, girls, have you heard of eBay?

Do you have a pen? Every time we have a meeting, you should have a pen, and you should be writing this down, and she says that to them too. When she said that, that was the first time I've legitimately been annoyed at Elaine. It was so boomer.

It was so boomer. Don't soy at my queen. I'm going to write this down. I should have brought paper. You should never be sitting in front of me without something to write. I know. I was going to bring a paper, too, but I forgot. It's a habit.

It becomes a habit. Elaine is a boss. Do not soy at my queens. And she was like, yeah. She was like, it'll become a habit. It'll become a habit. If you're in front of me, you're going to want to bring a pen and paper. It'll become a habit. I was like front of me you're gonna want to bring a pen and paper it'll become a habit i was like oh do not talk literally all she was telling don't talk to gentry that way do not talk to gentry that way you bitch you don't know what she's been through

you don't know what she's been through um she right after saying that, she says, delegate to empower. That's one of Elaine's business tips. Queen. After conscripting Gentry and Kelly to peruse endlessly. Do everything. She just told Russell, I'll handle all of this myself, personally. She took them from Russell and just hands them to someone else to sell. She has no actual part in it.

But honestly, queen, because she has other things to do. She has 17. I mean, it's 17 signs in total that are in good working condition. She does get involved in the sales. She takes them to like pawn shops later and antique stores and stuff. I mean, okay, like this is truly like, like, the hardest thing about being, like, a boss, okay? Is that the hard thing about being a boss is trying to find a way in which you can do nothing. You know?

Like, how can I just simply manage and offload every task onto other people. Well, because you can't scale until, like, the actual physical tasks are taken out of your, like, week to week. You know, like, you can't focus on growth or, like, anything bigger picture. No, it's how do I offload as much time as possible, you know? And that's what Elaine is doing here. Delegate to empower. Delegate to empower um elaine delegate to empower elaine um then uh tell what does she do next oh my god okay so then so then they do the

they take it all down russell gets a little sad she kind of tells him take a break russell is so depressed about yeah i feel so bad for rus. Yeah. It's like really insane. They're taking down his like family photos on the wall. He's rationalizing it in this way that is like, it really like hit my heart where he's like, I guess we just got to do it. No, we don't,

we don't have any other option. And he, he does genuinely, he is in those like dire straits where where his business is literally dying due to COVID. Yeah, it doesn't make any money. This woman sweeps in and she steals his business, but she's charming and honestly promising enough to do it. If I were in Russell's position, I would place a gamble in Elaine being able to make this place profitable under those conditions. Well, so also it's important to remember when he gets this out,

out of this is a guaranteed tenant, not necessarily like ownership in the business. He gets like a successful tenant, which you could argue either way. That's good for him or that's bad for him as far as like selling his stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Um,

okay. I'm trying to figure out where Elaine's narrative wraps up. It kind of wraps up with her. Um, she tries to sell the signs. Okay, I'm trying to figure out where Elaine's narrative wraps up. It kind of wraps up with her. She tries to sell the signs. She says at one point Elaine has a moment in which she realizes what she's doing is kind of really hitting it hard on Russell. And the most she says, she's taking apart his bar. She's selling all of his stuff. And she's like, everything coming off the wall are not just decorations.

These are family memories. And taking apart the bar and dismantling it is a very emotional thing for a big guy like that. A very emotional thing for a big guy like that. Yeah. Yeah. That's so patronizing. That was so rude. That's so patronizing That was so rude

Well it's one thing you're trying Big guy is either That's like a thing you call like a fat child Yeah big guy You can't call another adult big guy You see like a morbidly obese You're like hey big guy How's my big guy doing

Or like a tall kid It's what you say to like a 10 year old Yeah it's not a way you talk about It's like a fat my big guy doing? Or like a tall kid. It's what you tell. It's what you say to like a 10 year old. Yeah. It's not a way you talk about. It's like a fat guy. A fat man you're stealing a business from. It's really emotional for a big guy like that. And then it's really tough for a fuck freak like that.

For a fat ass. For a fucking loser freak. It must be really hard for a fucking loser like that. He's got feelings too. I didn't even realize losers had feelings. And then she goes up to him and I think probably in a moment of genuine conciliatory kind of empathy for her attempt at that,

she says to him, she says, Russell, it's going to be badass. That's the most she can offer. That's why I'm sad right now. Don't be sad. Okay, don't be sad. I don't want you to be sad.

It's going to be badass. Shut the fuck up. It's going to be bitchin'. Once we convert the $3,000 we make off selling your family photos, this place is going to be bitchin'. I'm going to get it painted. Once again, so infantilizing. Badass.

It's going to be bad. This place is going to be race car. We're going to make this place going to be so rockabilly after we sell all our family heirlooms listen daddy-o so that's where her story her narrative wraps there basically

a moment of slight realization of what she's doing and now we travel north and also the inside of Shepard's Inn looks like Mr. Crab's house. It totally does. It literally does. It literally looks like Mr. Crab's house. All the shit on the walls.

There's like fishing nets all over the walls with a life preserver. It's all wood. Everything's wood. Crown molding. Ship lap. This is so funny. There's like portholes. Russell's Mr. Krabs. Oh my god. He looks like Mr. Krabs.

Russell would literally be Mr. Krabs if Mr. Krabs had seven consecutive concussions. Could you imagine if Mr. Krabs was on Undercover Billionaire? If Elaine met Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs would never allow himself to be taken advantage of that way.

Yeah. If Elaine promised Mr. Krabs some money... Mr. Krabs would have shot Elaine on sight. No, Mr. Krabs would have ring her dry. Mr. Krabs would have murdered, he would have shot Elaine on sight. No, Mr. Krabs would be the one doing this. Literally, Mr. Krabs would be the one going to a new

place. He would be like, oh, I've never been to Buffalo, New York before. Oh. Who has the money? Who are these characters in this SpongeBob universe? I feel like Grant. Grant is Larry the Lobster, maybe? Grant is so Larry the Lobster.

Okay, who's Plankton? I feel like Plankton's too straight. Monique. Monique is, yes, yes, yes, yes. Plankton is absolutely Monique. Her chub bucket ass. She's trying to get the formula ass. Monique is a mix.

Is there juice that she's making? Yeah, her juice. Monique is a mix between Plankton, Patrick, and Pearl. No, Squidward. Oh, no. Monique is Squidward. Oh, she's very Squidward. Monique is so Squidward. She's very Squidward., Squidward. Oh, no. Monique is Squidward. Monique is so Squidward. She's very Squidward.

Monique is so Squidward. We all know who Elaine is. She's going to be an endless chum bucket. Elaine's kind of sponge. I see Sandy. I get Sandy vibes. I was going to say Sandy because she's so aw shucks.

Rolling up her sleeves, getting her... No because she's so like aw shucks like yeah rolling up her sleeves getting her no she's absolutely Sandy yeah Grant he's Larry the Lobster Mr. Krabs

Grant is kind of Mr. Krabs he's a little bit no no he's I think he's like a he's if he wanted to fuck Mr. Krabs

are you okay let's pause you want to fuck um Grant Ibs. Why you? Okay, let's pause. You want to fuck Grant? I'm saying, okay, Grant is hot. Grant is hot.

Grant is hot. And I'm saying that as if I've never fucked like above like 30, but I would have sex with Grant. Oh my God. You're telling me. I bet he's like,

he seems like he's like 5'1", though. Yeah, but who doesn't love like a short roided out t-junkie i am me you know his entire body is red no oh my god his body he has an amazing body you see him shirtless he's ripped yeah we see him shirtless when he goes on the 1,000 ropes machine at the gym. Snap fitness. When he goes hyena mode at snap fitness. Well, this is a good, this is a great transition. Let's head over to Pueblo, Colorado. Yes.

He goes into fucking snap fitness and starts acting like Lion King. My man snapped. My man snapped. He put the snap in snap Fitness, y'all. No one else is snapping at Snap Fitness like me. Okay, you want to go to Grant? Thank you. grant has the craziest probably one of his craziest episodes because this is the episode where he had to leave because his his filming started in right when covet. So he got about 13 days in before he had to stop filming, go home for like maybe, I want to say three, four months. They didn't say.

They didn't say. But it feels like post-summer. I looked into how long Colorado... Yeah, it's definitely after stuff started opening back up again. I looked into how long Colorado was shut down. It would have been around a four to five month break. It's getting like September. I also did research.

I did some research. We're cracking open air. Okay. So, so Grant, when Grant, yeah, when he gets back to Pueblo,

he doesn't have the Jeep anymore. He doesn't have the RV and he doesn doesn't know if he has the RV anymore. So he lands at the airport. Very first thing is like, I'm going to go back to that fucking RV place. See if I can swindle that motherfucker. Yes! Another free. He's like, let's do it again.

Okay, one thing. One thing. Before he gets to the Jeep place, there's a little, like, shot, little, like, transition scene of Grant when he's at home, and he's talking about how he has to go back to Pueblo. Oh, yes, yes, yes. He's in Miami, and he's talking about how hard COVID has been on him personally, and he's like, yeah, so I'm back in Miami,

and COVID really threatened my deal with Grant. But I'm going to tell you, it's been worse here. I had no choice but to go home to Miami. Wait till I can get back to work. I let go of 42 people. I would literally hire these people back right now. Today, 3.3 million unemployment claims went in dealing with 8,000 tenants that don't know if they could pay their rent. So the whole world is in upheaval.

But any chance to be with my family is a blessing. I had to fire 41 people. Yes. And he said. I have 8,000 tenants. No, he said 18,000. Oh, my God. Did he really?

He said I had 18,000 tenants. and none of them could pay rent i got 18 000 tenants i gotta know he's a slumlord oh absolutely yeah he's about to burn down that if you have more than like 12 tenants like i mean even if you're like a guy like him like if you have more than like a thousand that that's a completely different category. Look, I'll be honest. I love my landlord. He owns one building and it's a family building. It's all old Chinese family members of him.

He's amazing. He's the best landlord ever. But when it comes to this. We love landlords on this podcast. Mine doesn't even speak English. When it comes to mom. I have to talk to his like son. I'm literally saying when it comes to like mom and pop landlords. I love them.

I love them. I don't know. I liked my old mom and pop landlord But they got really nasty Yeah My landlord saw me naked one time Never Guess he's not paying rent this month Asleep naked in bed

And so he went on the fire escape To like look through my window And was just fully naked in the bed. Were you laying sexually? Or were you laying, was it? Because I'm in bed naked a lot, okay? I sleep naked. Oh, I was laying sexually, Mama.

There are some times that if someone walked in on me naked, it would be so embarrassing. But there are other times where I'll just be like, you know, like doing a Lana pose. Oh, no. I was serving cunt, baby. I was. She was ass up.

He's definitely in love with me. I was serving cunt and her pussy was against the window. I was serving it so hard. On a silver platter Right to him Suction to the window Table service

Grant talks about how many people he needs to evict He does math with his little crackhead daughter Also the math that they were doing 9 minus 4 This girl is like 12 that they were doing, nine minus four, this girl is like twelve. They were doing nine minus four. First of all, that girl, her name is Sabrina, and if anyone

remembers this... She's the one from the video? She's the one from the video. I don't know if you've seen this video. There's a viral video. I used to go crazy about this video. I loved this video. This is how I discovered Undercover Billionaire was you showing me this video.

That's how I discovered Undercover Billionaire. Because I saw this video and I was like, who is doing this to this four-year-old? I was like, why is this girl on stage cracked out of her mind? What is going on? So it's this video. Her name is Sabrina Cartone. This is Grant's daughter. Amazing follow on Instagram.

Okay. If you listen to the show, she's a nut. That's all I will say. She's a nut. She's a nut. But there was this viral TikTok video that went around on twitter that was

like you know everyone's making riffs about like a mini girl boss and it's her on stage with like a britney mike at one of the at a 10x conference and she's just like i can't wait to work but i think about being older i can't wait because when you're older that means you get to work and working is amazing for me and i want to do you do you think it's called 10x because it sounds like ted x and they're trying to like trick people definitely some residual like um it's just 10x is it's so mlM like outwardly like it's so obviously MLM that it's just crazy that's actually their name

we need to do a deep dive on 10x at some point in this series we should do a 10x episode who can go the deepest who can what if we go 11x what if we do 11x who can lose the most money in 10X?

We all just have a garage full of bottles marked 10X. None of us know what's in them. We can't sell any of that. I'm going to be podcasting from Cordent Alley being like, y'all, at least I had $2 million to lose to 10X, unlike you dirty bitches but um so grant goes back to pueblo it's like i gotta get i gotta go to the rv place see if i can so importantly he has to walk now he has to walk and i looked up i look when i tell you that i looked up i looked up i looked up his walks from that day,

it is a five and a half hour walk on the side of the highway from the airport to the RV place. The thing is, I believe he did that. I don't for even a second. That's also all he did that day. He was also planning on sleeping there. So he's like, oh yeah, I'll just get there on what, 8 p.m.? And then the days in that he stays in... He also had thousands of dollars at this point. He's still planning on sleeping there. So he's like, oh yeah, I'll just get there on what, 8pm? And then the days in that he stays in... He also had thousands of dollars at this point.

Yeah, he had like 2k. He could have paid for a taxi. Well, and he does get a bunch of Ubers throughout. But after he walks, I don't think he walked because the daylight makes no sense if he did. Because then he goes to a day's inn which is to Colorado.

The sun stays up late in Colorado. That's true. It would have been eight hours total of walking on the side of a highway that day. Wait, eight or five? Because after that he goes to the

hotel. Yeah, which is back in the other direction. It's halfway between the airport. You know Grant has the crackhead resilience from his former life? He did that in two hours. He Naruto

ran. His tiny little stubby legs. I'll be honest. I feel real kinship to Grant. When he's going into the RV retailer to kind of... He's retracing his old scammer steps. And trying to see... Which of the undercover billionaires are us? Are we?

Because I think Ben is Grant. I'm definitely Elaine. You're definitely Elaine. And I think I'm Monique because I suck at business. I have no idea what I'm doing. No, I mean, we'll get to Monique. Monique is actually a sleeper genius at business. We'll get to what she does.

She pulls different levers. She's not operating within...'s not doing money business business she's doing mutual aid business she's on like the cutting edge of business we'll get she has an unorthodox place the city isn't ready for her yeah yeah but in in i'm telling you like in 20 years everyone will be conducting business the way monique is conducting business. Amen. No, it's scary. As a grant, I want to be able to bully my way into every deal.

I want to be able to scream at people. I wonder if the three of them were ever in the same room together. I was so bummed. You mean there was not a reunion special? No, I was so bummed there wasn't a reunion special. The way they didn't have one is insane they still should have one also i think we can we could get elaine on i think so for the finale but her instagram she only has a thousand followers if she could take part she's taking ben you we you're really good at that stuff i feel like that's your idea i'm that crazy Chinese TikTok lady.

Which one? Oh my god, the one that makes the really long ones? She does Chinese influencer TikToks, but at the end of all of her videos she has digs on America. I think I'm thinking the same one. She made this video today about how a lake in China

dried up and it revealed a bunch of concrete, like square, like cubes. And Chinese influencers have been going out on. Yes, I saw that. Okay. And then at the end of it, she's like, she's like, yes, Lake Guanchang may have dried up, but Lake Mead dried up. And all it revealed was old boats and human remains. And then the video ends. Yeah, that was so cool.

I want to get her on. I also love the terrifying subtext that every lake is drying up. That is just like. No, it's getting into like a war of nations where it's like everyone is accepting climate change. It's like whose climate change is less like, whose climate change is less embarrassing? Whose climate change is less embarrassing? Who's got the better stuff down there? Which nation will find the most remains? Okay, sorry.

So Grant goes to the RV retailer and he is trying to find housing. And he strikes out. He strikes out. The guy tells him. He strikes out hard. The fat, slobber guy basically out hard. The fat, slopper guy basically tells him...

The big guy. I don't know his name. Slopper man. Ryan. It's because I wrote Rob for half of my notes and then had to go back and fix it. Yeah, so Ryan. So Ryan basically tells him that... He's like, look, Grant.

The Jeep you were driving for free, it's gone. He's like, the RV. He said, kill yourself. He said, the RV you were staying in. COVID may have been bad for some businesses. It was a boon to my business because guess what took off because of COVID? Camping. Okay.

He sold his entire lot. He sold all of the RVs because people wanted to go be wanderlust ass bitches and get an RV and we don't have a place for you to stay so Grant has to go get a hotel um he's really mad because he's spending a bunch of money even though he has a lot at this point like he's not yeah that bad he it's really bad that he doesn't have a car, though. Yeah. He's in the hole. He's walking everywhere. So he walks to Snap Fitness. He Ubers like a couple times.

He Ubers a couple times. Well, before he goes to Snap Fitness, he's on the hunt for places to rent because he is still fixated with getting his family into Pueblo. Yeah, he goes and looks at a mansion. Yeah. Yeah, so he goes house hunting. To have like four roommates in a mansion.

But the funniest thing... Well, they tell him about the roommates and he's like, roommates? I don't know about no roommates. No, it's because Grant does the thing that everyone's like rude friend does. I feel like everyone has a friend

that comes to your apartment or to your house and the first thing they do is they make a beeline to the fridge, okay? And they rifle through your fridge because they're hungry or something, and then they're like, oh, you don't have anything?

Grant opens the fridge at this place he wants to lease. He literally opens the fridge. Why is there food in this fridge? He's talking to some Craigslist realtor. He literally says, why is there food in here? He's talking to some Craigslist realtor. He literally says, why is there food in here? He's mad.

He's like, well, if you read the post. He's mad that people live here, you psycho. What are you talking about? She was like, you found this post on Pueblo Clear Exchange.

You know there's seven people living here, baby. There's seven socks. Grant's like, why is there quinoa in this fridge? Who do I got to shoot? And then he says my favorite quote of the entire series,

where he's like, nah, I can't do this. I can't have roommates. I'm not a community kind of person. People tend to hate me. What's up with all this food in the fridge? Oh, well, this is my roommates. Okay. These are all my roommates

okay all right guys roommates yeah but how many people live here now um we have four upstairs i'm not gonna bring my family out to a place with roommates i'm not a community kind of person people don't like me very long okay so this was a failure this won't work me and then um oh we we also forgot to say when he first lands back in Pueblo, he says, I got to check in on the key players. Yes. Yeah, yeah. He's big on making sure his key players are all right. And so basically, he goes to meet Mike.

Before we get to Mike, I think, doesn't he go, does he go to another house? No, that's later. Okay, so he meets Mike. Matt. One of my notes here is i bet grant was so difficult on set i mean yeah he fights with the producers in like three episodes no he calls the producers and cameramen losers yeah it's like y'all could never y'all wish you could be me oh no and he he does go to the next place um after this he goes to this place that is

for sale for like 3200 this is the house he gets a month yeah yeah 3200 a month um he is like this is gonna be tough because i have no credit and then he calls like the landlord i have no credit and then he says i am no one i'm no one and he says no cash no credit i am no, I am no one. I'm no one. I wrote that down too. No cash, no credit. I am no one. I am no one. He's like, what if I give you $3,200? What if I give you $1,600? And then there's a huge pause.

For three months, right? A huge pause. And the landlord is like, so half. You want to give me half? And then he's like, well, let's say this. What about two grand? And he's like, okay. So he offers 1,600 cash.

He offers 1,600 cash with a promise to do yard work. Is that monthly or for three months? I think it's for one month. But what he does is actually very smart. He knows how to structure a deal very, very well. Because what he did here, this is actually like very smart he knows how to structure a deal very very well because what he did here this is a three-bedroom house it's a family house has a living room it has a family room and it has a very nice backyard okay but what he did is he found a place that had been on the market for a month he knows he's finding a homeowner in a pinch, right? And it's COVID.

It's COVID, right? No one's moving. It's a single-family home. You know if it's been on the market for a long time. You can offer them less. And if you add a service on top of that, you can offer them even less, you know? And what he does is he, like Elaine does with Shaps, which is like, I need a long-term lease right off the bat.

He says, I'm moving from LA. I just need a place for 10 weeks. Can I give you $1,600 cash, $1,600 a month, and I'll do yard duty? And the guy, yeah, he's like, you know, kind of stunned by this deal. But he says yes. Yeah. No, it is $2K. It's not crazy.

They bump it up to $2K. Which. No, it is 2K. It's not crazy. They bump it up to 2K. Which is still, it makes sense for both of them. And also, he does another smart thing, which is he doesn't have 2K yet, but he knows where he'll get some. Well, no, he does, because he actually does this

after he meets with Matt Smith. No, no, no. He goes there, and then he's like, let me see how quick I can get the money for you. And then he closes the deal on the house. He immediately goes to meet Matt Smith. He closes the deal on the house. He goes to Snap. He snaps at Snap.

And he goes needing to fund his house. And he's like, a goal of mine is to buy a car. Yeah. yeah and this is to me the most insane part in the episode and maybe in the show so far where matt smith hands him a check for ten thousand dollars with no time doing anything no insane no commitment he hasn't done anything because he goes he's a marketing team which is his original pitch to matt was i will do your marketing and he goes back and he meets with matt and matt is like i've hired a marketing team in your absence and grant is like fuck matt's moved on without me i don't know what i have to offer him he might not take my 10k and matt is immediately like yeah no you can cash it and grant's like well can i get a

new one and grant writes him or matt writes him a brand new check for my favorite quote from matt with zero services rendered within the last four months the only thing he does and the only thing he's done is made him 10k no obligation and not even i mean they spent like 7k on the table on the mattress sale you know they only made like six or seven and grant or match just like i love this guy and yeah i just think he's so he has so much potential i think he probably just likes the cameras he likes the cameras it's literally i it has to be that the producers were like look we were doing this show called undercover billionaire this guy's a billionaire it's covid is happening so we or something or

even if they kept the fake nature of the show, but they must have just hit him hard. I think that this guy just is more interested in being part of a TV show than he is in anything. I think it's all of the above. I think it's all of the above. I think that the producers are probably doing some amount of work, but there's a crucial leverage point that Grant has with his kind of of strong handedness with his charm however

crackhead the charm might be like grant is able to seal deals there of course with the producer's help but there's a third part to this which is like mike loves the attention you know if you're someone you're he loves being a key player. You're living in poop town. Mm hmm. When are you going to get their attention? They're not. These are these are they don't do anything. Neglected dogs.

These are dogs that are weak. Like the key player from being killed at the shelter. OK, these are rusty keys. Exactly. These players. So it's all of the above. But Matt literally writes him a new check for ten thousand dollars. And Matt tells him, let's be real.

Online's going to grow and grow and grow. Like what, Snap Fitness is going to have a TikTok that Grant is directing? Like what? No, because Matt also does say. It's going to be the next Peloton. Yeah. He says like, we've moved entirely to online. And it's like, you're a gym. And a mattress store.

Yeah. A mattress store. Yeah. I guess the mattress thing, I could understand that being online more than the gym but the gym is like that's one of the few things that's just bad I think that is just horny yeah a little bit for in a friend way in a friend way he's he's bro horny he's brony yeah or grant yeah I also think he's I'm sure they've had a couple meetings together and he's probably wondering how does this guy know so much about business, he's actually fun to talk to yeah

he's rare also it's fake I can't believe you guys it's completely real it's 100% real I need Undercover Billionaire to be real for my reality to make sense so in this segment Grant um gives his top tip

or one of his tips which is um one of the funniest tips i've seen yet which is get to the top of the food chain um which is like so funny it's like succeed in business. Yeah. And so he's like, be the best. You've got to be the best. He explains some weird, like, two different ways to do that. And he was like, this is a better one. But it's so weird and kind of, like, opaque, like, what he's talking about. He's talking about, like, meeting people and climbing, but don't do it slow.

Do it fast. Like, he's got nothing to really add here. Yeah. He just talks about his favorite subject for like a minute or so which is key players and then and how to meet them how to greet them yeah the crux is not a community type guy he hates community yeah the crux of every grant lesson is just like don't suck suck. You can't suck. You can't be bad. Exactly.

Which, honestly, true. Like, true. Like, if you know, you know. Don't suck. You can't suck. Don't suck. You can't. You can't.

Grant's narrative wraps up where he, no, he goes, he gets everything. He's feeling sick. He gets the, no. That's not yet. I think this altitude is affecting him. A little bit of foreshadowing for the listener. Grant's feeling a little... A slight cough is coming on. What is this, September 2020?

Yeah, I think so. I didn't sleep very well. I'm exhausted. I just don't do well in the altitude. I can't even think right now. So basically, Grant secures his home slash office slash family space. But it wraps up with Grant being frustrated that he doesn't have a service to offer uh matt for the ten thousand dollars or mike sorry he doesn't have a service to offer mike for the ten thousand

dollars he's like i've no man yeah oh sorry but i've got this ten thousand dollars the marketing team is in place i now because grant doesn't have doesn't do anything I need to regroup or something He's like He doesn't have an industry or a business But Grant but like you know As Grant is wanting to do he's mad He's mad that he made $10,000 and doesn't have anything to offer

For it He's sucking Okay let's get to That's not his money He gets a cough And we fly over to Okay, let's get to our... That's not his money, Tim. That's not his money. He gets a cough and we fly over to Monique in... Beautiful Tacoma.

Tacoma, Washington. Thank you. she does she does so much. She's amazing in this episode. She gets a lot done. She gets an intern. She gets an unpaid intern that she forces to... She gets a couple of free workers. Let's start at the beginning. Okay, so Monique is immediately like,

we need to flesh out some ideas, but I swear to God, she says flush. That we all sit down and kind of flush out some of the ideas. Flushed out some ideas. She does. I do have that written down, yeah. Which is like, yeah, bitch. Yeah, you pooping.

Okay, you pooping. You pooping these ideas out. Period. You are not fleshing the ideas out. It is not of the skin. It is of the poop. The ideas are flushed. Okay. Also, one of

the notes I have here is Monique has such substitute teacher vibes. Yes, absolutely. Literally. She's spitball substitute teacher. She's the substitute teacher everyone bullies. She's the substitute teacher that no one, that can't handle

the kids and like kids cry at the end of the day and the principal gives the class a talk. No, she's the kind of substitute teacher she walks in and the class starts being like Moo! Bullied. Like red dot on forehead substitute teacher.

She flushes out some ideas. She prepares. Not an asset. Not in the jailhouse that is school. She prepares to meet with her investors because she has. She's so annoying. It's not even an investment

team. It is a Zoom investment team. It's a Zoom meeting. And so basically, one of the first things she says is, my dream would be if 10 or 12 people could each give me $1,000. Me too, bitch. It's so complicated. Me too.

The amount of stress that that adds for only $12,000 as opposed to actually getting two people involved. There are people in this small city who can give you $10,000. Consolidate your investors to one or two rich people but three but yeah but if you have 12 people who have discrete interests who have each given you 1500 you now are all have equal stake in the business that you need to

satisfy you're going to be spread way too thin but that's her plan um she is taking a completely different approach to business um which i think is very forward-looking it is an avant-garde cutting edge approach to this is a maverick play style in the name of it's a little too soon for her time i i will say so on this call they all kind of come up with this idea which is that her juice business should be mobile. And someone else comes up with the ice cream truck idea and she's like, yes, yes. And then she just takes that. This is not someone who's involved with the company.

The Zoom meeting that she's in is an incubator, she says. It's like, oh, this woman has a popular incubator. Well does she is in a physical room with two of the people um which also begs the question like can can they take even though they're in their small city can they be working with people like outside of the city

because if they can just do zoom incubator calls like what's stopping them from getting on the internet get on the zoom literally silicon on a Zoom with Silicon Valley. Call Timbaland. Do you want to invest in my juice startup? Booty call your ex. Hey, Tim. Hey, girl. Is Timbaland's real name Tim?

You up? Yes. Timothy Baland. That's his full name. I got Hessa with that one. You're not going to be able to hear her laughing, but I got her. Finally. I was waiting to take her out.

Timothy Bland. Timothy Bland. Okay. So we can do a speed run on Monique's shit because she's just annoying. She's so annoying. We fucking hate her. One of the funny things she says is wellness makes up 5.3% of the global economy.

It's so bad. It's a trillion global economy! The most insane thing I've ever heard in my life. She also says it's a trillion dollar business. She says it's a trillion dollar industry. But I'm like, of course it is because think about all the things that are factored

into quote unquote wellness. She's including food. Wellness is the pharmaceutical industry. Of course it's a trillion dollar. Wellness is like's including food. Wellness is the pharmaceutical industry. Like, it's, of course, it's excellent. Wellness is like having a house. Like, it's real estate. It's like, it could be you.

She's literally saying money is a multi-trillion dollar industry. It's utter bullshit. Okay, so my favorite, the best Monique scene. Okay. She does an investor pitch. I want to talk about how she gets free labor from the photographer slash barber shop guy. Before we get there. Yeah, she's like, this is a young black entrepreneur who is willing to work for me for free because he values collaboration.

is willing to work for me for free because he values collaboration. But before you get there, I think the most revealing thing about Monique's character that she does is she goes to this office space. This gross co-working space. A WeWork, basically. She needs an office space that she can use.

Also, she doesn't need an office space. No, it's like, bitch, you need an industrial kitchen. And a juicer. You don't need an office space. No, it's like, bitch, you need an industrial kitchen. And a juicer. You don't need an office space. You can take a Zoom call from the library. Put your fucking laptop on the work counter, and that's a desk. You need a commercial kitchen.

Get the truck. Spend that money like you're spending hundreds of dollars. But Monique is so AOC, so we work, that she's like, I need to have an office space for me to wear my blazer, hoodie, combo sleigh. And it's like, you need to have an office space for me to wear my blazer hoodie combo sleigh. And it's like, you need a commercial kitchen. I need there to be cucumber water. Yes.

Well, she needs people to be like on call. She just needs to have someone to like ask to do things. Yeah. She goes to a place, as I'd say, kind of like startup office space. Like a crunchy WeWork. as I'd say, kind of like startup office space. Like a crunchy WeWork. Crunchy WeWork that is like, you know,

making all of these kind of like really like virtue signaling, like just throw away. Their logo is like a succulent. Throw away offers to like marginalized communities. It's called Pioneer Collective. It's an office space for entrepreneurs. I know. And the building it's in is like, it looks like the courthouse for the town.

It looks like they gutted the courthouse. It looks like the courthouse defaulted. Yeah. But this is why Monique is actually like, she's so deft at knowing how to play her identity cards and knowing how to like actually have that be a business strategy right because monique knows that if she goes into this crunchy we work with like these you know throw away um kind of side eyes towards mutual aid and community building whatever whatever she knows she can go in and ask for whatever she wants.

And she does. These people are functionally obligated to meet her demands. And because there's cameras there too. Well, exactly. She gets a walkthrough. This is leverage. This is leverage better than grant,

better than Elaine. She knows what she's doing. It's left unspoken. You have to read between the lines to see it. But given the moment, the social moment, we don't miss miss anything the moment that this was happening in like monique knows i am a black woman in tacoma washington it is full of soy white toe shoe conductor train hat ass white people who will give me anything i want, okay? Yeah. And she goes, and this woman, the woman who's, you know, walking her through Pioneer Collective,

the leasing agent, effectively, tells her. At the end, she goes, okay, so it's like $3.50 a month? No, Monique says, does Pioneer have any specials going on right now? I'm a coupon person. So you ask. And she said, she said, then she ended with, if you ask somehow, there's always a discount. Yeah. No, that's she ended it in the most genius way.

But that's actually an amazing business lesson. There's always a discount, right? But it's like, it's cutting the chase and just being like, what the way to make it cheaper because she could be asking all these different ways be like oh i'm only here temporarily or i don't have that much money or this is a poc business no but she just said what's the discount she just looked at them and said so if you ask yeah but you know but this is what i'm trying to say you know if grant was in this position and he was going to pioneer collective and he's like so where's the discount they would be like ah no but monique can go and be like so i love coupons where's the discount and they'll be like yeah it's queen you can only have to pay 100 which amazing no no fault on that like good for monique for finding

that except that she doesn't need this office yeah she's like exactly dollars it's like monique monique is finding her leverage in actual crucial points of the like economy where she's negotiating for like a burger but no but like some other like a box of like um a box of like um what's that like door-to-door makeup thing like avon avon yeah avon she's like negotiating to get half off buying a box exactly she's like everything she can't just get a single thing. The thing is that like Grant can be a crackhead wherever he wants, but ultimately

he's only going to be talking to like RV retailers. But because Monique is like finding her leverage in these social transactions that are very like are much more powerful and less codified than like a white male economy monique is having to grift from churches monique is having churches and the

mayor the library from the mayor having to grift from the library having to grift from the courthouse from pioneer collective where like monique is doing stuff pioneer works literally like monique is doing stuff where it's like grant isn't taking opportunity from anyone but monique as a multi-millionaire because of her social position as like a black woman she's taking it it's just robbing opportunity out of other people's hands that are on the slate to get it that you know she, she's flushing them. This office could have gone to someone else. That RV that Grant has was not going to go anywhere else, you know? Yeah.

Anyway, so she gets the white woman who's leasing the office at Pioneer Works. Okay, here's another thing. So she goes to the library because there's a laptop rental program where you can just like, anyone can go like take a laptop out. This is her Hermione Granger slay. And she just goes and like gets a laptop out. This is her Hermione Granger slave. And she just

goes and like gets a laptop and she's like they just gave it to me. Did she give them an ID? Because she's not supposed to have an ID. What do you have to give them? You can't get a library card. She can't get a library card and she doesn't live in the town. Like what is

how did she just walk out with a computer? She just picked it up. You need to show someone mail with your address on it, right? The way the scene was cut was so amazing because it was like Monique. It was a one minute scene.

She walks into the corner and then just cuts to her walking out with a laptop. She's running. Go, go, go, go, go. It's like a revolving door. She goes in and just goes right around and walking out with a laptop. She's running. She's like, go, go, go, go, go. It's like a revolving door. She goes in and just goes right around and comes out with a laptop. It's like four laptops. Like Superman changing.

Like the cowboy junkie scene where he steals all the heroin from the wall crates. But she's like, oh, wow. Getting a laptop was much easier than i thought um so that's minique has secured an office space she's this whole time she's been trying to get the guy she the the fruit stand guy that she works for with the farm she's been trying to get him to be her supplier but like she's not really giving him a business pitch she's just like waiting for him to offer something this is earlier in the episode but i have an amazing

note about this she shows up to her farm stand job passing out fruit at like farmer's markets whatever but she's trying like you said to partner with the distributor at this um farmer's market, Fartwell. And she was like, hey, Alex, I have a business of my own. Do you want to try my cherry turmeric carrot juice shot? And he takes one and then he's like, wow, that's pretty good. What? Do you have business for this?

What's the business name? And she's like, oh, we don't really have a business name right now, which is called Monique Lene LLC. Enterprises. Enterprises. Enterprises. And I'm like, would I buy a juice shot? That's such a psycho thing to say.

It's like, oh, okay. As a juice person. Who would buy a juice shot that has a label that is just a woman's name? Enterprises. Also, a weird thing that happened is the subtitles for this episode, the subtitles say her real last name.

When I was watching, I had the volume down a little bit and I had to rewind and be like, did she just accidentally say her real name? She said Lene. Also, she says, what I care about

is creating jobs for the community. And then later in the episode... No. She later then leverages a kickball game that she forced an invite to. She was like, can I give out juice shots at your

kids' kickball game? She hears whisperings of a kickball game, and she's like, can I come? Can you invite me? Can I come, please? Nobody wants her there. No one wants her there. She also goes like, this is a perfect way to see if the juice shots are really good, because the kids will be honest.

And it's like, kids don't like sour juice shots. Kids do a juice shot, bitch. Kids don't need juice shots. She's reinventing the ice cream truck. Is what she says. Tell yourself. I'm making the ice cream truck so much worse. You have no idea.

I'm reinventing it in a way where it's gonna suck. My idea is I want to make you know ice cream trucks? Yeah, so I want to reinvent that in a really bad way. What if they brought you stuff you hate? You know ice cream trucks? Yeah, so I want to reinvent that in a really bad way. Exactly. What if they brought you stuff you hate?

You hear a somber dirge coming from the speakers. You're playing the saddest song. No, Monique's ice cream trucks are playing like Natalie Merchant. They're playing like white woman bangers. Who did she sign? One Division? What's it called? One Republic.

One Republic. They're playing the One Republic song about killing yourself. They're playing One Republic. To save a life. She's driving around. They're playing every train song at once. If I could save a life She's driving around Casting one republic If I could save a life Moves like Jagger

Playing Blasting Playing Blurred Lines It's like in an old west town Like when a shootout is happening Everyone's like closing their doors Locking them No she's playing She's playing deep cut

Jenny of all tracks I don't know where I am closing their doors, locking them. No, she's playing deep cut Jenny Havall tracks. Only deep cuts. I don't know where I am. I don't know where I am. She's playing Fantagram. The cupcake clitoris cunt. Crystal Castle. She's driving downtown playing Holly Herndon.

You know those juice trucks blasting all the earth. Caitlin Aurelia Smith in the house. Okay, so Monique's storyline wraps up with her staging. Yeah, she gets a photographer for free. She asks

Senator Tawana Nobles to have her friend lend her their ice cream truck for the day. She won't pay for anything. Yeah. But this is a business life. She's getting so much shit for free. But also she doesn't need a commercial.

She's talking to people that are this is going to be vetted by the mayor. This like Zoom call investor pitch. So it's like she doesn't need to put this time into a commercial. She should put this time into recipes or thinking about the community. But Monika's still PowerPoint. Monika's not thinking about production. She's thinking about product.

But she also, no, she is thinking about production. She's thinking about identity, aesthetics. Yes, but she's not thinking about the actual production of the juice. No, no, not production of the juices. But she's worried about these pictures where it's like you could, for your first pitch, just Google images of kids drinking juice. Nobody cares. I could

Google image her black child juice shot stock image and find something she could have loved. Are you Mia Farrow posting it? My daughter loves juice shots. love are you Mia Farrow posting it my daughter loves child so that's pretty much where we wrap

with her well um she also um I kind of think her and Tawana might be fucking I think they got a little single interesting they both kind of read yeah yeah they kind of I think Yeah. They're kind of straight.

There was one moment where she calls Tawana on the phone and there's like a little spark there. Yeah, there was totally a spark. She goes, hey girl. And I was like, oh. What if Tawana was like Monique ever since I met her? She's so health conscious. She taught me about getting your pussy ate.

The only thing I only eat free trade pussy now. The only thing, I only eat free trade pussy now. I only eat organic, mama. Okay, so yeah, the show basically wraps there. We'll be back next week.

Okay, before we wrap, let's do a closing bit. Okay, I have an idea for one. Jake and I have been fixated on doing undercover billionaire in real life

and Jake and I were like okay what is our Pueblo where there's no business, no culture what is our dearth of culture, our business, our society what is our dearth of culture, our business, our poop town?

What is our poop town? It's Philly. It's like West Philadelphia. So if Jake and I can get funding to do Undercover Billionaire in Philly. If anyone out there wants to house it and have an empty apartment that we could live in and compete and do this, let me know.

You have to go under assumed names. So this is the bit I want to go out on. I know what my assumed name will be if I have to do Undercover Billionaire in Philly. And I know I have constructed my full backstory. Wait, can I be the producers? Can I be the characters?

You can direct it, bitch. So, Jake Jake I know mine what's your identity what's your backstory I'm gentry let me think about it tell me yours Philly you know it's

it's very woke it's a blue haired liberal city when I go to Philly I am pretending to be transmasc that is really good I'm probably liberal city. When I go to Philly, I am pretending to be transmasc. That is really good. I'm going to pretend. I'm going to pretend. Oh, really? Let's hear it.

I know. I immediately shot down. Nothing else would change. I'm going to be transmasc. Annoying. I will get a septum ring. What's your name going to be? Transmasc Ben. Blunt Force Trauma.

Is my transmasc name. You don't think that'll work? If I open a blunt force trauma cafe in Philly, the line out of the blunt force trauma cafe,

the trans-owned blunt force trauma cafe in Philly, until... Count them. Count up my pay piggies Okay bitch Until I expose you Until I pants you in the middle of the busy cafe Until you cancel me And you're like

No Blunt Force Trauma is Ben Mora Who is a cis man And then I have to be like Jake Sillen is white okay it has to direct all of it it has to get everyone to sign a waiver

and prove it in the cafe look I know I know what you just saw was crazy. Probably traumatizing. You probably have a case for a lawsuit. But please, please. But please don't sue us. He's my boss.

Blood needs the money. Blood really needs the money. This podcast is my only source of income. I need you to sign this. This podcast. And you're shooting a TV show. This is not even making sense. Okay. Well, until next time.

We could call it Undercover Trillionaire. Undercover Trillionaire. Undercover Kaj trillionaire. Undercover trillionaire. Undercover kajillionaire. Where Jake and I have to establish a kajillion dollar business in Philadelphia. Yeah. We could. I feel like we really could. We would be so good.

We would be so slave. Okay, if anyone wants to make that happen, if you have the resources to make that happen... Diss, if you're listening. Mm-hmm. Vice. Who would do this? If we had funding, I know like five people who we could all bring cameras. The thing is, it wouldn't take that much money.

Yes, it would. Around-the-clock cameras. I guess that's true. We have to pay staff what if we find that barber shop guy Monique

what you doing you seem like you love doing work for free want to come to Philadelphia want to come to Philadelphia and film a Jewish trans woman and insane gay man.

Ripped Philadelphia. I have to sit him down and explain. How much is a Patreon subscription to this? $5. We're 10xing. It's going to be $50 starting tomorrow. We're not charging you

No Because tomorrow is going to be $50 And if you already subscribe It's going to be $50 at the end of the month Stop It's going to be $50 So either unsubscribe Or you're good

Don't do that And well drinks at heaven are now $100 No or you're going to... Do not... Don't do that. End of the month. Don't do that. And well drinks at heaven are now $100. No, well drinks at heaven are one penny. Penny drinks? So if you want to hear

the rest of our continuing series on Undercover Billionaire, there will be 14 episodes in total. You will have to subscribe to that page. Plus maybe a bonus with a very big celebrity. A very special guest. Many bonuses.

We're going to do a 10x deep dive. We might get Elaine on if she responds to my DMs. I don't think Monique will come on. I would be very scared to talk to her. Yeah. We could find Monique's phone number. I'm positive we could get Monique's phone number in five minutes. Prank caller on air.

We should prank call her and be like, hey, is your refrigerator running? Bitch. You dumb bitch. I hate you. Just call her. Prank call Grant. I feel like prank calling Grant would be the scariest thing imaginable. The way you would prank call Grant is you would call him and be like,

Hey, you remember me? It's White Robert. We used to do crack together. It's Trans Robert. Hey. I was going to beat you in the head. White Robert. I was going to beat you in the head White Robert

You know Grant had You know Grant had a friend named White Robert Who he did crack with White Robbie White Robert he gets so mad Of you don't call him Robert He gets so mad

It's so fucking I told you never talk to me again in my life White Robert Leave my family alone I told you never talk to me again about life white Robert leave my family alone okay on that note we have to end that was awesome possum sauce thank you everyone bye Thank you. I got you under my skin There are too many questions

There is not one solution There is no resurrection There is so much confusion And a lot love profusion you make me feel you make me know and the love vibration

you make me feel you make it shine there are too many options. There is no consolation. I have lost my illusions. What I want is an explanation. And I know I can feel bad when I get in a bad mood. And the world can look so sad.

Only you make me feel good. And the love of fusion You make me feel You make me know And the love of intention You make me feel You make me shine You make me feel You make me shine

You make me feel