Seeking Derangements - SD 181 - Jigslay Mama

Episode Date: December 18, 2022

We're back! -------------- We talk about Travis Bickle being a fine piece of ass, Marilyn Monroe being a 300lb neurodivergent queen, Jacques harassing a ghost tour, and we are paid a very special visit from Jigsaw from the Saw movie franchise for an FFS consultation. -------------- Subscribe to our Patreon for 1 (oftentimes 2) bonus episodes per week. :)

so so jock what what were you just screaming about you let out a huge scream and we decided to start recording okay okay so i hate being bald and it makes me angry and it makes me want to hurt people because i fall it makes you want to uh maybe perhaps ride a motorcycle into a helicopter i mean if that's if if i if someone is giving me the option right now jock do you want to have a normal day or do you want to drive the motorcycle into the helicopter i'm going to choose the motorcycle into the helicopter every time i feel like you could have a normal day still if you do that you do that and then you do the normal stuff you were gonna do all day that's not fair i think it's like one or the other normal day for you yeah

yo i just drove my motorcycle into a helicopter you you cued us into a little theory it seems like you've been working on for quite a while which is that the reason they cast so many bald men in action movies is because they're mad that they're bald and that's why they're killing so many people, doing so many stunts, grappling onto skyscrapers. Why do you think all

those villains are bald? Oh my god, Megamind bald. Dr. Evil Lex Luthor it's true my god megamind do you if you ever want to know evil but um if you have um jeff bezos jeff bays even real life villains but but also like clearly like in 20 years from now everyone will be bald why do you say that in 20 years everyone will be bald even like women yeah uh wizards uh strange owners of golf clubs uh you know teachers firemen strange prediction so people go bald based on profession no i'm just listing professions where people will go bald in the year 2020 in the year 2020 oh i mean 2030

that's also not in 20 that's also not in 20 years so you're okay let me i'll try to help you see this You're making a prediction that in the year 2030, everyone... Okay, 2033, you're making a prediction everyone will be bald. Yes, because the way that science is moving today, you can see a clear trending... A trend toward bald. A trend towards bald,

because you can see more bald women. Is this just anecdotal evidence maybe you don't know this is this is purely scientific jock has looked at the numbers i trust that yeah of course i've looked at the number what do you think i am some kind of loser i'm sorry no i would never think that of you well i would hope not okay we'll continue with your thought yeah so yeah so like the bald people they're coming there's more of the look at amber rose okay i'm looking at her right now that is a bald woman that's a bald woman and she's popular and she's well she's not really bald she more just has short hair but i understand where you're going with this well she actually is bald that's just a

optical illusion that's a wig that's a that's a That's a mirage from the heat coming off of her bald head. No, it's not a wig. It's actually cheaper than a wig. It's a mirage. An illusion. It's a mirage. I see, I see. Yeah.

She just greases it up every day and then creates the hair. Like, let's be honest right now. Are you saying bald will be a trend? Are you saying that people are literally going to lose all of their hair in mass? It's 50-50. So like 50% of the people in the world will think that out of trendiness, they need to shave their head and be bald.

And the other 50% will be panicking because they're bald and they can't control it. They're the only... Yes, just like me. That's another thing I want you to bring into this little equation. No, not just that, but I have no control of this. It's happening in front of my eyes. The clumps in the shower are adding up to me being an ugly mastermind baby villain

with a bald head. I don't know if you can see kind of right now. You're kind of the evil villain of my life. You're kind of my Lex Luthor. You're being a little bit dramatic. I bring a lot of enrichment

and beauty to your life. You do bring a lot of enrichment and texture. Texture? I hope I don't bring texture what am i grits yeah yes um well do you think this world do you think this world is going to become significantly more evil i think it's going to become significantly more bald yeah i think everyone's going to be scheming everyone's going to be um it's gonna be pretty rock and roll

it's gonna be pretty crazy i roll it's gonna be pretty crazy i think like that's the mark of the beast is being bald i think everyone is hitman it's gonna be pretty sick i can't wait yeah lots of tenting your fingers maliciously is going to be off the charts in 2030 when everyone's bald literally and everyone delivering ultimatums to you know entire cities will be a huge trend speaking of delivering ultimatums why why do you look so confused what are you looking at on your screen me yeah i'm trying to look i something came up and i didn't understand something scary came up on your screen i can tell something's scary jog made a really scared face what happened i read something that meant nothing to me and i was like why am i reading this right now most

of the time you read something. Stop me in a car. It meant nothing. That means nothing to me. It's like road signs. Shark Tank star Kevin O'Leary defends partnership with FTX despite calling crypto garbage as he's grilled over 15 million payday

and says he doesn't want his money back until smaller investors recoup their losses. This means nothing to me. It's unimportant. I don't know why I thought I needed to click it. Thank you so much for sharing that. That's some undercover billionaire type beat. That is, yeah.

Let's keep that to our financial podcast. You guys can listen to our undercover billionaire podcast where we do talk about business and get into the nitty gritty of Kevin O'Leary's financial portfolio. But speaking of men who may be evil psychos for sure absolutely psychos um ones that i think let's just say i've influenced my relationship a lot and i just realized this the other day um last night in fact when i re-watched

taxi driver for the first time i saw the movie when I was like 13. And it was just a, I realized. Your gay awakening? It was, yeah, a bit of a, I already knew I was gay, but it was like, whoa. I saw that movie and I knew I needed to be. I saw the worst, the worst like sexy guy to have introduced to your life

at like the horniest point Robert De Niro's character yes Jock, Travis Bickle his name's Travis Bickle Bickle Travis Bickle Travis Bickle here but I like

yeah he is so hot in that movie he's so sexy in that movie i just travis if you're listening i would i would never trust foster did i would never do you like that dumb bitch jody foster like wow i have a chance i have a shot because he's into 13 year olds laughing at like the idea of me watching that as like a 13 year old and being like, damn, Jodie Foster doesn't know how to treat a king. Treat your man, Jodie.

I saw that movie and I said, I should be a prostitute too. Or that other, that other girl who works at, works for Valentine. Sybil Shepherd. Yeah. Sybil, treatard? Yeah. Sybil Trinko, man, right?

He took you to a nice movie. He took you to a nice movie to have fun. He did, you know, like I literally his biggest apologist. I love Travis Pickle so much. Stop with this Travis Pickle guy.

I'm tired of you talking about Rugrats. Half my Twitter mutuals would take me to that porno and be like, this is actually a beautiful piece of art. I'm just like, yo. Yeah, it was an art film. He took her to see an art film. He took her to see Pink Narcissus. Yeah, and she's so uncultured.

Stop with the pink narcissist careerist she doesn't appreciate a beautiful man showing her a beautiful art film he took her to see blue he's so sexy in that movie yeah i watched it because i was like i was like walking around and it's been it's been a very rainy day here rainy week here in new york city i love it no it's so amazing because i love um pretending i'm in like a noir movie like a hard-boiled crime oh same walking around with like a 12 inch collar turned up

when you said 12 inch collar I thought you were going to say something else no no no no like wearing like a giant collar you can only see my eyes yeah like a trench coat top hat like yeah and there's just steam everywhere

I watched Taxi Driver because I was walking through little Italy last night and I was like all the animals come out at night the sickles, the freaks the fairies, the tourists the Santa Con goers all the fats come out at night

the Wisconsinites. The corn-fed big boys. The corn-fed fucks. Stop. One day a real rain will come and wash these fucking scum off the street. Cut the fat of this

neighborhood. We'll wash the fat off the street i feel like i'm being persecuted it was like it was like six it was like 6 p.m it wasn't even at night it was just dark because the sun set so early but i was like what one day a real rain will come. I'm such a night owl. Clean up this disgusting. I haven't slept in three days.

I can't sleep. Sleep just doesn't come. One day. One day a real rain will come. One day we'll all sleep. One day a real rain will come all over me. Gay Travis Bickle. You get home, your roommate's like,

hey, Ben, what's up? You're like, shut up. Is that playing Fortnite? Literally. He's like, I don't even know if my roommate's there anymore. Is he real? Do I just imagine it because I'm so lonely? It's been 17 days since I talked to another man.

Now you just sound like the lighthouse. I love that movie though. That movie is so good. It's so good. The lighthouse? No. Taxi driver. The movie we've been talking about for the last 15 minutes.

Did you see the Barbie movie trailer? I did. It looks good. It looks iconic. I'm so excited. I got emotional when they said dolls. I was like, oh my god, just like me. Is there trans people

It's a movie about you. That's what I was told. Well, Hari Neff is in it. That's what I was trying to remember. Queen. Queen, H-Neff. I'm excited. Hari and Nerf Gun. But I was thinking about Travis Bickle just too much

You know Really just like You know Dream husband Is this your way of telling us you jerked off Before recording I was thinking of Travis Bickle Too much

Y'all got me dripping from that Travis pickle. He's hot in every iteration, even when he arguably hot when he goes crazy. I don't know. I don't think the Mohawk is a good look on him. I don't think it's a good look on anyone, honestly.

It's a good look on him. What's wrong with the Mohawk? Mohawk and military jacket is a very horrible, horrible vibe. Iconic. Hello. If I started dressing like that, would people assume I'm a shooter? Well, we just established you're... Never mind.

I don't... Okay, don't... Mohawk is... Don't paint me as a villain when I said I was a villain. Someday a rain is going to come and wash all the hair off these heads. Honey, it's already washing it off. Jock pickle. Am I going to look good bald?

Like, I need to know now before I do it. You are bald. The top is bald, but the sides. To the normal person, I wear a hat and they don't know what's underneath. You gotta go to Turkey and get a hair transplant. It's not that hard. People do it all the time. That would be... We could make like a little

remote episode about it. I could go with you. I could get... I wouldn't mind going to Istanbul too. Istanbul. Istanbul. What's wrong with that? Nothing's wrong with it That's how it's pronounced

I can't I want to go to Constantine as well I want to go to Constant Apple y'all Constant Apple I don't even know What big cities are

In Turkey Besides Instant Bowl Instant Bowl Constant Apple Ankara I feel like I'm always being Beaten down You could go Instant bowl, constant apple. And Cara. I feel like I'm always being beaten down.

You could go. I mean, Jock, how much do you think? Don't please don't search your computer. You're going to get incredibly distracted if you do that. But you could get a hair transplant. They're not too much. But this episode is just this entire show is me trying to keep both of you off your screens because Hazard goes on sniffies and blanks out. Where is she today too? I can't even see her.

And then Jock goes and reads a bunch of news that scares him because he doesn't understand it. And then I have to try to talk. It's true. I'm not on sniffies right now, I swear. Thank you, Hazard. I appreciate it. Jock, stop reading the news. You're not going to understand it. Now I'm getting on sniffies. If I swear I appreciate it Jock stop reading the news

you're not getting on sniffies if she's not gonna get on his stop stop it's not fair if she's not on it one of us has to be no no in fact none of us have to be on sniffies none of us have to be on it what if we all went to the same pump and dump

oh wait we already did a cold open about that that hole looks broken I'll tell you what I just looked at. Ben's upset now because he hates gay culture. No, go ahead. We've done live readings of Sniffy's 20 times on this show. Look, I was just reading one little discrepancy over a broken hole. Sorry, I closed the window.

Speaking of gay culture, did you guys see that Daniel Craig got cast in the adaptation of Queer? Wait, what's the adaptation? Wait, the William S. Burroughs book? Yes. They're making an adaptation of Queer?

And Daniel Craig is playing the main character. What? You're kidding. No, I'm serious. Remember when I clocked him as gay? He has been doing nothing. Long ago. You're kidding. No, I'm dead serious. That wasn't even like a popular... Remember when I clocked him as gay? He has been doing nothing but gay. Long ago.

He's been doing nothing but gay stuff. There's a commercial of him dancing. It's shocking they're choosing to adapt queer. That wasn't even like a popular book of his. It's not even like a novel. It's like barely a novel. Why would they do... That's so crazy. That's the same guy that we're... I used to be a huge William S... No, it's like it's like barely a novel why would they do that's so crazy i used to be the same guy

that were how william as no it's a different one i used to be a huge william s burroughs fan i would i would say he's he is now to the date like the only defendable um beat generation writer yeah the rest of them are just so incredibly total pedophile mode well beyond that even to separate the art from the artist although half the work is about being a pedophile mode well beyond that to even to separate the art from the artist although half the work is about being a pedophile literally being a pedophile wait you can't really beat nick as a joke i don't think you're gonna yes um and i'm just like he is the only one who is you know stand out worth it and he was arguably I think probably the biggest pedophile of all of them he read about going to Morocco

and having sex with little boys like all the time yeah he William S Burroughs have you seen the movie Twister with Crispin Glover and fuck I can't remember who else James Cameron's wife

is in it and Williamie musk burrows has a cameo in that you should see it ben oh wait it's really good wait is that the tornado hunter movie no that's a different twister twister i was gonna say i was gonna say he was in that movie yeah he plays himself he's like this is a hell of a tornado. We're mining in Williams-Burroughs. And then he gets hit by a cow. He gets hit by a cow, exactly. A cow launches at him from a tornado and he dies. Williams-Burroughs was a veteran.

Canceled. He's reading his Wikipedia page. He's also a pedophile. You're going to get scared by this.ophile I mean also the pedophile thing is canceled I'm just trying to remember shot his wife in the head naked lunch he did a lot I feel like the veteran is

you know every man from that generation was a veteran canceled for fighting in world war 2 you're so stupid canceled for fighting in world war ii canceled for fighting the nazis war yikes this this lgbtq article about william while there's no biographical evidence that Burroughs was a pedophile, we cannot shake the feeling that he may have been.

That line from an article about him. So annoying. And then the article below that is called When Child Abuse Was Avant-Grade. He literally wrote about having sex with- Avant-Grade. Avant-God, excuse me. When Child Abuse Was Avant-Grade. Oh my God. I love Avant-Grade art. wrote about having sex with Avon Grave when child abuse was Avon Grave

I love Avon Grave art so interesting please stop reading I can't help it I'm just a curious soul today I'm just trying to have fun is Daniel Craig

playing the Burroughs character? I guess so, yeah. He's the main character? That's so random. Isn't that so gay? What is the plot line of Queer even? Did it just, did it just like-

It's just him like doing heroin with his, with his boys and sucking and fucking. From what I remember, Queer was kind of more autobiographical or auto like fiction kind of auto erotic yeah damn that's so quick crazy oh my god it's the guy who did calling by your name luca yeah i can't believe you can't pronounce that i can pronounce it i'm just goofing pronounce okay go ahead pronounce it right now i can i can. I'm trying to figure out how you pronounce it. I'm about to pronounce it. I'm about to pronounce it for you right now. Stop.

Guadarril. Shut up. Are you trying to sing one Guadamea? Start playing. Start playing a little accordion. Guadarril. Guadarril. Guadarril. Guadagino.

Guadagino. Guadagino. Are y'all speaking Spanish or crazy frog right now? What the hell? Guadagino. Guadagino. Just stop. If y'all start talking a different language, I can't understand. I'm quitting.

Oh, is this guy's gay? I'm kidding. He's obviously this guy's gay? I'm kidding. He's obviously gay. It was so funny. During Bones and All, I probably mentioned this last episode, but I kept leaning over to my friend Jesse, who I saw it with, and whispering, I think this movie's about being gay. It's like the most obvious fucking metaphor.

I would have gotten kicked out during the scene where Timothee Chalamet eats a person because I would have been like, finally this boy eaten. He's like so skinny in it. And at one point, yeah, I'd be like, finally he eats a... Finally this boy eats a food.

Yes, Timmy. He needs a meat on his bones. He needs a meat on his bones. Finally. He is so thin in his bones. He needs some meat on his bones. Finally. He is so thin in it. And at one point he says he weighs 140 pounds soaking wet. And I'm like, oh, honey, you weigh like 100 pounds. That's so crazy.

But speaking of movie stars, did you guys hear Marilyn Monroe has autism? Marilyn Monroe. We? Marilyn Monroe... We're talking about the tic. I was shocked. I burnt all my movies of her in it. She's cancelled for lying about being autistic. And also being a veteran. She fought

in World War II. Are you kidding me? Did she really? You didn't know that, Chuck? She did two years in military service she was famously yeah she was famously one of the first women

oh my god he's gonna google again please don't google um yeah she was famously the first that's how she became famous she was a military nurse didn't you see blonde

she has she got shot in the knee shut the fuck up this is the biggest she got shot in the knee and had to become an actress I can tell y'all are giving me live face

even behind your profile picture, you stupid bitch. I don't know why you won't just look at us normal today and then, yeah. But she does have autism. TikTok user. Hessa? Yeah.

No, I thought you were saying Hessa has it. Tesla has autism. Tesla, not Tesla. This TikTok Hesa has it. Tesla has autism. Tesla, not Tesla. This TikTok user pointed out that Marilyn Monroe has autism because she... The evidence here is that there are several photographs in which she's not making direct eye contact with people. But also, like,

that, of course, being a symptom of autism. If, you know, you can't make direct eye contact i will say this zero evidence of her walking around on her heels never a picture of her with a body pillow no pictures of her stimming no pictures of her the blog yeah no pictures of her gaming that's a big one if she was really if she really had autism there would be pictures of her with like at like a pinball machine or playing jacks did she try to sell her bath water for seven thousand dollars i don't think so she never does those little uh excited autistic hands from that tiktok that

other tiktok she never does the female version of autism which is doing jazz hands and like clearly the biggest thing is like i didn't even see her on love on the spectrum and it has two seasons so like i don't understand it's famously every well like oh she's a hollywood movie star why can't she be on the biggest hollywood autism project yeah that's a great question find it to be a little suspicious and then i also i will say though in i a point for her having autism the happy birthday thing where she sexually sang happy birthday to the president that was a little baby that was giving uh misunderstanding social cues

right before they recorded that she was walking around the room asking every individual person if they were okay with her singing happy birthday that she needed to or she wouldn't feel right that was absolutely misreading the room misunderstanding the social cues that's a huge point for her having autism you're right but then i'm like okay the real evidence here is simply i found i found seven photos of her not looking at the camera lens. Which is like... Which is what you're taught not to do. You also understand that that's not

eye contact. That's not looking at a camera. I'm like... The real conspiracy theory about Marilyn Monroe is that she's Mexican What is that doing to you? I buy it I said the real theory about Marilyn Monroe

Is that a real theory? Is that she's a quarter Mexican Y'all think she'd look Mexican? I mean, maybe. I don't know. I don't know. I'm looking at pictures of her and she looked white.

Y'all think she'd look Mexican? Unless she got a lot of makeup on. Does she look Mexican to you? Okay. You're right. She's not saying yo quiero Taco Bell. There's no footage of her

saying yo quiero Taco Bell. Well, I've actually found in a full article about explaining Marilyn Monroe had Asperger's. I'm pinpointing her on the autistic chart right here. I want to put us a little point on the spectrum. Did any of you see Blonde?

Absolutely not. Do you think I'm stupid? It was so good. It was so fucking good. I loved it. One thing people aren't ready to admit about Marilyn Monroe is that she was 374 pounds. I feel like that's actually period. She was morbidly obese.

Y'all are ready to talk about the fact that Marilyn Monroe was a fat queen. Why did they hide that Elvis was fat? Why is it hard to find pictures of Elvis being fat? I think it's pretty easy to find pictures of Elvis being fat. It's incredibly easy to find pictures of elvis being fat i don't i think it's pretty easy to find pictures of elvis being fat are you just thinking because the movie it is funny that the movie elvis they treat him becoming fat as like his death like as if it wasn't 18 different drugs no it was drugs it was drugs and being, I'm sure you're telling me him eating

like two pounds of bacon a day had no contribution to his body failing him. Yeah, but he would literally do like three different shots of morphine a day. Sure, of course. And he would have it served with his cheeseburgers. I do think morphine

was the main thing. Call them a tax. Morphine's actually good for you. They give it to you in the hospital. Morphine. Thank you. I was just about to say that. Morphine is something they give to you in the hospital and actually doesn't cause,

morphine doesn't cause any major organ failure. What morphine does cause is constipation. And the reason he's constipated and famously died pooping is because he was constipated because of the morphine but he would have been constipated if he wasn't eating so much which is why he died pooping and he had a heart attack from all of his arteries being clogged from all i think i look like fat elvis yeah you live sexy dad pooping that's a free shirt for you ben that's a free shirt for you ben that's a free shot for you in that one no jog i just know that you

are trying to say elvis couldn't have died from being fat i.e i can eat whatever i want i already know karen carpenter also died from pooping no no she died she died from lack of pooping if you don't know your body um well she was pooping way too much i think true yeah are you stupid the bitch was and she threw up so much that let's not call karen carpenter i'm sorry she's not a bitch she's not a bitch i'm just saying she clearly died heart problems caused by her bulimia. This is, come on. I love her. She's so cool.

She is so, you know, she dated James Taylor. Have you seen the movie, The Todd Haynes? We're so movie pilled today. Yeah, superstar. Yeah, superstar. I love that. I'm sorry, Todd. If you don't know Ben, this is a Karen Carpenter

I just said I see Marilyn Monroe's brother was born sorry mother was born in Mexico what that bitch was Mexican

literally Mexican definition Literally Mexican. Definitionally. Because Mexican is me. Well, it's Latino is me. That's why we both, that's why we look alike. That's so true. That's why you have the same eyes. That's why we have the same beautiful,

iconic eyes. The same beautiful, the same wonderful same hourglass figure we both weigh 350 pounds we both weigh 374 pounds and have and have autism

terminal autism wow this article I'm reading about her accuses her of having borderline personality as well as schizophrenia. I believe that she had BPD. No. Schizophrenia.

I don't know about that. You guys have to see Blonde. It's so crazy. There's a part where her unborn baby is like talking to her. It's so funny. What? But it's so good. Yeah, the baby's like, please don't abort me this time.

She's like, I won's like I won't I won't is that more of a is it it's more of like a adaptation of her life than it is like a biopic right it's like if I don't think this is a very true to life adaptation of what her life was like

but it's very it's a lot you know it's very it's an adaptation of the her life was like but it's very yeah it's a lot you know it's very it's an adaptation of the joyce carol oats like book about her which oh yeah yeah yeah that's why that old shoe got dragged into the debate poor joyce carol oats she's always going insane on twitter she's a queen remember when she said that halloween decorations are disrespectful to the dead if you wouldn't put skeletons in your yard if you knew people who died i love that she's true i agree that's right i agree this is why the same reason i chased the she wouldn't be like you you wouldn't put a jack-o'-lantern on your front step

if you looked like an old pumpkin. This is the exact same reason why I chased that ghost tour in Denver out of my apartment building with a baseball bat. Did you really? Dead serious. Explain. So I thought it was incredibly disrespectful that they always

bring a group of people to my old apartment building in denver acacia was it haunted it was haunted and they would be like what was it called the acacia acacia apartments and they would say they used to call this the murder building. And death is a true. And there was one. There was a few deaths. There were a couple murders when I was living there. A few deaths. I mean, there's like seven murders a day around that neighborhood anyway.

But Capitol Hill, Denver. But anyway. How do you spell that? How do you spell that apartment building really quick? A-C-A-I-C-A something. A-C-A-I c a something a c i found it i found it keep telling your story okay wait um so the hot the big one was that a guy walked in on his wife or a wife walked in on her husband when it was a hotel, because it was a hotel briefly, having an affair with a woman. And she made them both leave, locked the door, turned the bathtub on, let it run, and killed herself in the bathtub.

And the blood water ran out. She cut her wrist and the water ran out. and the water ran out and the people who live in the same room as her in that apartment put a wreath above the door with a bunch of crosses and put a bunch of religious shit on there because they don't want...

The door will rattle and shit and that's like the ghost. But anyway, the ghost tour shows up and they're starting to talk about it and I was like, no, y'all leave. I have my baby's bubble bath. I'm taking a shit in here.

I was like, y'all leave. have my baseball i'm taking a shit in here i was like y'all leave so they they they're how many people were in the tour they literally walked into your apartment room like no they're in the they're in the center courtyard of our apartment building that you have to go past iron gates so they're in the center of this courtyard and i was like y'all get the fuck out of here okay i went inside grabbed my baseball bat and i said y'all you're disrespectful to people who have died here for money they're just trying to trivialize this poor woman who committed suicide and then then they want to disturb me in my apartment this is not a playground for adults that That's really what we're talking about. Yeah, get the hell out of here. What do you think?

This is a freebie? Stay out of my yard. Good for you, honestly. Good for you. You're defending those bitches off. I want them to stay away because this is my courtyards. You should have lied and been like, that was my mom. There's already a bunch of drunks that live in the building.

It's like that sit on the steps drunk all the time. There's already a weird guy who lives in my mirror who's so mad. This is where the veteran lived. This is where Joe lived in apartment number two of the Acacia Apartments where he still lives. Oh my God. Okay, Max, can you please? I think that's not where he still lives. Oh my God. Okay, Max, can you please? I think that's not where he still lives.

This is probably fine. I mean, this guy's a bad guy. This guy's on probation. Look, I dare a single, if a single one of our listeners goes to try to talk to this mentally ill veteran who tried to hunt Jock, we are not liable for anything that happens if you talk to this man that is on you

we encourage you not to do not approach the veteran that hunt a jock but i will tell you this if he does try to attack you just remember like just remember that he's on probation so he'll get in trouble that. That was not advice which encouraged you to... You know what it was legal advice? Actually, that was legal advice. Stay home. Stay home.

Stay homo. Stay home. Or no homo. Do not engage with that man. I've already forgot his name. Not engage with the better. So after you yelled at those people, did they leave? Did you work?

Well, then I started lifting the bat up and swinging it in the air like I was going to hit one of them in the head. Oh, my God. The twerk got trying to be like, so this is an apparition of a ghost of a gay man who died here in 1920 because he was trying to kill a lover of his gay man who died here in 1920 because he was trying to kill a lover of his with a baseball bat and yeah he got shot

so he's here he's telling us to leave just a ghost I love the idea I love the idea of a ghost tour person telling everyone that I'm a ghost yeah it's gonna happen I should just dress'm a ghost. Yeah. It's gonna happen. I should just dress like a ghost. Powder

white, look like one of the... Big pointy hat. No, hey, okay. Now you've gone too far. I've got your joke and you have gone too far. I mean, that would scare them, you know, if they thought there's

a gay southern Klansman. That would be crazy if instead of ghost tours, you could just be like, and this is where a racist lives. You're joking about that, but I literally went on one of those tours of a plantation in Louisiana.

Oh my god. Well, that's different. That's historical. It was historical. Wow, racism is historical to you now? It's not painful? Yeah. You're ridiculous. Nice trap. Almost.

I thought you were going to say, oh, racism is historical, meaning it doesn't exist anymore. But you went with your tried and true, oh, so you're not hurt like I am? A genius avenue. You're not hurt like I am?

Oh, it doesn't hurt you every day like it hurts me when I wake up and I want to die? Because it hurts so much. Stop! This, I'm reading about the woman who got killed in that apartment building. Oh my god, what a, R.I.P.

Jock was actually completely right. The jilted girlfriend became distraught, filled the room's bathtub with water and slit her wrist. This is depressing. Crazy. Good for her, Queen. You showed them all. water and slit her wrists you have to talk about this this is depressing all right crazy crazy

good for her queen you showed them all i was still and she's still haunting she's still haunting girl she's still haunting to this day okay talk about something else that women do which is really scary um period in hollywood would have been recently getting a new surgery that everyone's been freaking out about they're trying to make it into a trend it seems like only like six people have actually gotten this done i don't know how to pronounce it michelle buccal fat Buckle? Bucal? Bucal? Bugle boy. Bucal fat removal. Which apparently, those are fat pads you have under... Well, is it just... I read it earlier.

People have these fat pads under their cheekbones and they get them removed. So it gives you that kind of like hollowed out crack scary yeah crack head but you could just do that with contouring yeah i don't understand why it's a little crazy to because that fat removed and i'm gonna assume that those pads are load bearing if you will your face is just gonna you know kind of collapse in on itself but then i guess if you're rich enough you just get the face job you get a new face put in do y'all think lee michelle they're getting the they're getting the fat removal in conjunction junction with jaw filler and the look is pretty dramatic haunting you can achieve it's a little

easily achieve it i think it's it's just more trending towards what i think is going to be the kind of ultimate um jigsawification of everyone who's famous. They literally all look like Jigsaw to me. I don't know. You see that, right? Yeah, I do. I think everything is converging on the point of perfect male beauty, which is perfect androgynous beauty, which is the Jigsaw puppet. Because Jigsaw was snatched.

Well, it was a puppet. Huge were huge yeah but I'm just saying he had those fillers those like gay guy fillers giant fillers sunken cheeks jawline that could you know cut glass

cut glass with that Chad John. He had the perfect kind of androgynous... The androgynous pinnacle of beauty. You know, if you just fix the hair, the hair I would change, you know... Jigsaw! For Jigsaw. If we're gonna give Jigsaw, you know... If we're to give jigsaw,

you know, we're going to make jigsaw really. You have, you have surpassed Travis Bickle as the seeking arrangements, heartthrob of the week. I'm looking at a picture of him right now. His brow bone is Chad. The cheek, the cheekbones. I'm looking at a picture of him right now. His brow bone is chad.

So stupid. The cheekbones. So scary looking. The cheekbones, I'm going to be honest, are just out of this world. So sorry. The jawline is one of the most defined jawlines of my life. jawlines of my life i think there's a little bit we could do to make you you know just to you cutesy it up a little bit because it is a little scary we should get rid of the red swirls on the cheekbones i love the red i know okay jigsaw at an ffs consultation i know you know it really accentuates the volume on the swirls but i think you know

the swirls make me look like i'm blushing make them make you feel like a beautiful blushing bride they do jigsaw but i you know there is a product called blush that you can use maybe what if we just blend it then i'm gonna write this down yeah my phone is broken here you go um so if we just you know get a beauty blender and blend those swirls in at the very least because they're just really defined right now i'll just give you a bit more of a um the nuance look are those red contacts or are your eyes naturally red they're red contacts i'm alt so i think you look a little like the band the national i really like american football oh my god i can tell i can tell um ken what color your natural eyes my natural eyes they look like your eyes actually

yeah i feel like i use the right contact so i don't scare people My natural eyes, they look like your eyes, actually. Oh, really? Yeah. I use the right contact so I don't scare people. Okay. It's kind of rude. I am your surgeon here. I don't know if you want to insult me. Okay. You came into my office saying you wanted to look less scary. I did.

I'm sorry. I want to look beautiful. It's okay. I know I can be beautiful. You could be one of the most snatch queens to ever slay i'm not just saying that to you i want to look in the mirror and see how i feel on the inside which is a beautiful woman like a beautiful and beautiful well androgynous icon i don't know do you have are you attached okay she that yeah no that's right sorry i'm looking

at your form i forgot that your gender was Shiba. Okay. We're going to take the red eye contacts out. I think we're going to have to do a forehead reduction. That's rude. Yeah, can you sand that down? I have a really very prominent brow bone. A very, very prominent forehead and brow bone.

The brow bone we are going to sand down. It's going to take some... It's going to take months to get that done. I'm just going to be honest with you. Your brow bone is like... It's like the Rocky Mountains, okay? It's going to take a lot of work to get this. I used to be a brow model for catalogs yeah um okay so forehead reduction i started the

no eyebrows trend i don't know if you noticed that yeah no i'm i believe me i can notice that i think um we could maybe start we could bring eyebrows back jigsaw what um bring the hairline down because you are balding a little bit I think you know I've got a hairstylist I could send you to because right now nurse please be quiet nurse shock you're gonna need to shut

shut the fuck up and I'll send you to a nice hairstylist. I know we can get that beautiful hair thinned out a little bit. I want to slay a game. You will slay again, Jigsaw. You will slay again.

I promise. We'll stop killing the people. You'll just do a different kind of slaying if you know what I mean. Girl or guy. Oh my god. Make your choice. I just saw a picture of you from the profile we're gonna have to do something about that nose nose reduction and now that i'm looking at a picture of your full body we're gonna need to do a lot a lot a lot of work there yeah yeah but work there. Yeah, but don't worry. We're going to get some

nurse... Okay. We're going to need to get some... We're going to give you some new legs. What's wrong with the ones... You don't like the ones I have? Do they work? I've never...

Yeah, I see that you're only on the tricycle. They work when I'm on a bike. Like, mm-hmm. Just like the frog. All right. Well, we'll give you a leg transplant, arm extension, neck widening surgery, because right now you're like on...

That bobblehead's on a needle. And a BBL. And some double Ds. Would a BBL just be like getting the guy whose hand is in my butt because I'm a puppet and working out his arm so that his bicep is bigger? That's a BBL to me. Y'all are so freaky I hate coming to this meeting it's never with Tessa

it's never with Tessa Jigsaw thank you so much for joining thank you I'll be back in a month for my appointment I need to get my letters still you will be you will be under the knife for approximately three years.

It's going to be a lot of work. You'll be in a medically induced coma. Say goodbye to a lot of people. You won't see them for a while, but when you're back, you are going to slay mama. Period. Bye, Jigsaw. Goodbye, period.

Seriously, we need to start locking the door when we record I love when Jigsaw plays Columbo I know Jigsaw we got Columbo that one time I'm serious we need to start locking the door

when we're recording these people keep walking and during the street the nurse here has so much sense of continuity on this show. Nurse ratchet here. But I would get buccal fat removal, maybe. I don't know. I would want a fat transfer if I got that thing.

You would look a little scary. Where would the fat get transferred to? I wouldn't get buccal fat removal. I already look like I have it like i got it done like 10 years ago you look great what surgeries would you get i mean i would get a fat transfer where do they transfer the fat from um like your lower back or your thighs and then they spit it through a centrifuge and they use it where they would use like fillers. So it lasts forever.

Whoa. And looks natural. Isn't that crazy? Oh my God, I actually need that. Wouldn't that be amazing? Like. I kind of need that. I'm like, if you were going to spend money on like fillers or something, why would you like drop $600 on filler when you could just spend spend three times as much and get your own fat injected?

You're sure it lasts forever? I mean, it's probably your own fat, right? I don't think it's any risky. I mean, fillers seem risky, if anything. I mean, yeah. But people die from BBLs all the time. But it's not a BBL. It's like micro liposuction

and then it's just a filler. You're injecting your body with your own fat so it grafts well. I guess that... Well, I'm no doctor. I am. Despite all outward appearances, I'm not a doctor. Listen, guys, not a doctor listen guys i'm no doctor i'm

no i'm no doctor here i'm no doctor but this guy's dying there's a guy just bleeding look i'm no doctor but this guy needs help it's like a man screaming for a doctor yeah i know fat transfer seems like it'd be the way to go but i'm kind of you know the older i get i'm more uh team out natural because i feel like so much so much like little work is available that everyone is just going to start looking the same in this weird way i agree that's like the kardashian trend well a lot of dolls look um like you can tell when dolls go to certain surgeons and such because they have similar

what because like the FFS surgeons have little they have their own signatures they etch their initials into the girls forehead they each have their own motif they have their own you know just like a serial killer they have their own

MO just like let's not bring it back in Just like a serial killer. They have their own MO. Let's not bring it back in. Just like a certain little freak on a tricycle. That's why he's on that damn tricycle. Lose some weight. He's always on that damn tricycle. Get your ass off that damn tricycle.

Get your damn ass off that bike. He's always on that damn tricycle. Get your damn ass off that bike. He's always on that damn tricycle. Why don't you learn how to ride a real bike? How come the motherfucker's always on a tricycle? Someone needs to tell him something. It's like dangerous to be riding that thing around town all the time. All these potholes. Yep.

Fucking serious. He's always on that damn tricycle. I'm fucking serious. Oh, it's on that damn tricycle. Jigsaw. Literally murdering hundreds of people. Jigsaw, you play too much. On your tricycle.

I mean, literally, if there's one thing Jigsaw doesn't play too much. Stop. Stop all that one thing. It just killed me. Jigsaw. You play too many games, Jigsaw. Jigsaw, all that one thing just killed me. Jigsaw. You play too many games, Jigsaw. Jigsaw, you dirty dog. You've done it again. Y'all are so stupid.

He's always on that damn tricycle. He's always on that damn tricycle. He's playing a fucking game. He never leaves the damn basement. Barely pays rent. He's the white boy of the week. No. Jigsaw's seeking to raise him as the white boy of the week. No. Jigsaw complains to his mom because he's sick.

And Jigsaw's mom is like, yeah, because you always hung that damn dress. Okay. I nominate Jigsaw as the sucka MC of the week. She's the doll of the week. She's the doll of the week. Travis Bickle's the sexy MC of the week. Well, he's already the... She's the doll of the week. She's the doll of the week. Travis Bickle's the sexy gentleman of the week.

The heartthrob of the week. Newsflash. He's the slurp. He's the slurp of the week. The slurp of the week. First of all, the doll... We've already decided that the doll of the week is none other than our secretly trans,

blonde, autistic superstar superstar Marilyn Monroe. Because not only was she autistic. She's Autist of the Week. She was trans too. She was not trans. I'm sure I just read that. I just looked at an article and I'm sure you thought you read it. I'm sure I just read that.

I'm sure I did at some point. Marilyn Monroe trans. Daniel Craig is the French fries of the week, is the chips of the week. Period. Period. I hate that. Wait, Ben, say that horrible sentence again. You love to say.

Faggots be walking down the street with a fish thinking they're the chips when they really the tartar sauce. Every time I hear that, I do another draft of my suicide note because it's so horrible. I'm ready. How long is that thing?

Okay. Googling Marilyn Monroe trans is the most psycho role writing your suicide note on the fucking Confucius style papyrus yeah i just found a picture of this is because god first of all it's like santa's list in cartoons first of all i want to say god this is because you didn't make me a beautiful woman

it's like y'all i'm on page six johnny depp and amber heard are getting that's like, y'all, I'm on page six. Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are getting divorced. That's like how far back it goes. It starts there. It's like a street with cuts. All these pictures of trans Marilyn Monroe are insane. Oh my God.

Dude, I'm on a website right now. Marilyn Monroe. I'm on a website right now called Digital Transgender Archive. Okay, these are just Jock is sending us pictures of website right now man row i'm on a website right now called digital transgender archive okay these are just jock is sending us pictures of marilyn monroe and this is just anna nicole smith

oh my god, literally. I just found categorical evidence that Marilyn Monroe Yeah, I know. I was waiting for y'all to comment on the jigsaw picture. Look at this. I just found the evidence behind transgender Marilyn Monroe. And you will be shocked to know that she's not.

It's a picture of Amanda Lepore. I'm pretty sure that's Marilyn Monroe. I'd be so curious. Did you know that she was still alive? oh wow she's it's a picture of amanda lapore i'm pretty sure that's marilyn monroe i'd be serious did you know that she was still alive yeah amanda lapore no marilyn monroe i just sent you a picture of amanda lapore oh it's also pronounced marilyn monroe marilyn man more like marilyn man row man row whoa that's offensive you mary him a man row that's offensive that is offensive

if y'all are gonna make this man row joke y'all should go on death row whoa we should go on more like marilyn death row the way she was killed by the cia for being a man period wait wait hold up wait wait the cia killed her for being a man period wait wait hold up the CIA killed her for being trans or fat or no the CIA killed her because she embarrassed the CIA gave her a fake buccal

transfer and they took the buccal pads out of her cheeks and put them into her brain and you should never put the bugle pads from the cheeks to the brain that causes a lot of issues exactly and that they did that she learned the hard way it's called the maryland job maryland job sounds like a weird sexual maneuver so jock what do you okay

the cia did kill maryland Monroe, but I want you to guess... Why should I care? Why? Okay, well, first of all, if the CIA wants to kill someone... I think it was the Secret Service, but... I think that kind of gives it away, but I don't think for Jock.

A shadowy governmental office. Oh, why would the CIA kill her? Because they don't want Asperger's becoming popular. No, wait. I take it back. Genuinely. Because this did actually happen. I want you to make a genuine attempt to understand. Because JFK and her were having an affair and she was going to leak it.

Interesting. Wait, hear me out. Actually, because she fought in the war and she was going to reveal war crimes that the tesla stopped she was working she was working with uh she was working with the rosenbergs to hand over um to your government and tell about nuclear weapons to the ussr hessa and benjamin smith shut up okay okay the floor is yours never mind now that you say it like that

now that you're being why do you think they killed her you think they killed her just because she was going to leak that she was having sex with JFK everyone already knew that she was having sex with JFK so it's something a little bit more on the last season of American Horror Story the one about

aliens they said New York no that's the one before New York was like an aliens one and Marilyn Monroe was murdered by the CIA on that show because she knew that the aliens

existed because she saw Ryan Murphy's so cool. Ryan Murphy's so fucking cool. It's like so fucking stupid. I kind of love it. Dream Job is just like writing for that show. Oh yeah. Or for like a telenovela. So easy. You can do whatever

you want. Telenovelas are literally you can write anything. Yeah. Anything. I remember watching Telenovelas are literally you can write anything. Yeah. Anything. I remember watching telenovelas when I was a kid with my dad and there's it for some reason I remember this narrative really

well. Well not really well but I just remember a pivotal part of one of these narratives in telenovelas hinged around a rape pill and you would think that that's real hypnol something to knock women out so you know you can yeah i'm very scared it is a pill that you give a man that then turns him into a rapist oh my god what give it to men there'd be women there was like a shadowy donya who would like give

rape pills to men who she wanted to send to jail to ruin their reputations yeah yeah so she would like give she would like dose a man with the rape pill and then he would rape someone and then she would be like oh all according to my plan and then get him sent to jail this is weird like oh my god it's not real it's not real Jock I think like that is also like part of why um like

the X-Files is so good because like crazy shit can happen on episode to episode basis where like suddenly like M malder is trying to kill scully or something and then like yeah suddenly like and like all the drama that would entail and then like at the end of the episode it's like actually that was because um you know the the air force was pointing their kills kill scully gun at you then they can just like be like oh never mind

okay and I think like a rape pill is an interesting a new way of doing that that I haven't heard of it's something you couldn't do in America telenovelas are on like the cutting edge of that I feel like Ryan Murphy

is kind of he's the closest we have latinizing um a lot of american television with these absolutely bonkers storylines but i haven't seen even aliens the american horror what does that have to do with what i'm confused because you asked what do I think the CIA killed her for, I suggested that Ryan Murphy said that she was murdered by the CIA because she knew about aliens. As a little Easter egg, as a little wink-wink to the audience that this is what actually happened.

Yeah, why not? Because he's got the documents. Oh, he has the tea. The CIA is definitely saying, hey, Ryan. Why do you think he's making something called American Horror Stories? He's got the tea the CIA is definitely saying hey why do you think he's making something called American horror stories he's got the tea osterone testosterone

no I believe in aliens I think aliens exist why not for sure what about you Jock yeah of course I believe in they exist what kind um like green ones gray ones like uh you know it's like the kind of classic idea yeah but also but also like skidar and like um what's skidar i'll show you a

picture that's one of the alien that's his alien friend's name i swear to god skida uncle skidar they're one of the coolest they're one of the coolest they're one of the coolest that's my cousin skidar bezu the fourth bobergard heverson i'm sending y'all they've never been able to get a real picture of them but this is a digital rendering of one uh-huh they're from the planet skidar and they're they're skidar aliens they're very advanced i feel like this is from a video game i can't this is definitely from an 8-bit video game this is not from a video game this is a rendering of what the alien would look like is that like from morrowind or what is

this from no this is not from morrowind it's from life experience the extraterrestrial world this is a real picture wake up tesla this is a real picture that jock took what do you mean it's a of course it's a real photo you can see it in front of you and you can click there being with you y'all i'm 16 bit today i don't know what happened y'all i think that uh know what happened i've been saying this for years if there's anyone who sees their reality in full cartoon it is jock yeah literally look i'm just saying oh it's from perfect dark god damn it hassa why would you ruin my joke? I mean, to think that you could show Hessa a screenshot of what I'm assuming to be an obscure video game from a long time ago.

She Googled it. To think she's not going to go Google Glass mode immediately and just result in coming. Okay, okay, okay. Perfect Dark 64 is my favorite video game is not gonna go meryl monroe perfect dark 64 is my favorite video game of all time and these aliens are very cool and they also have the classic gray aliens on it too so you really get the most the best of both alien worlds and the most of both worlds stop the laughing at me is not approved and then essa

has never once turned her camera max if you can cut out all laughing in this episode max if you could just cut out the episode and put silence up make it so there's no there's zero max zero laugh max can you max add the friend's theme song at the beginning and at the end put the golden girls theme song thank you the prince theme song no the golden girls theme song you dumb idiot b word have have you seen the golden girls stickers on the iphone i'm gonna send some i have to sell before we go i have to tell you. Before we go, I have to share with y'all a story. Every time a customer at work places an order, I'm entering their name on the POS system. And I did not know that they could see the name as well.

And I typed a customer's name as Maria B word because she was being a bitch. Did you say bitch or did you say? No way. I just typed b word you said so she's seeing this what her name is maria that's my name and then she sees literally b word not bitch yeah and okay we haven't gotten a yelp about it but i'm just like dear god do you think she's hot do i think she's hot do you think she saw it oh i heard do you think she's hot also do you think she saw it yes i do after the fact and i didn't put it together at first but she

was making an odd face but and i was like and then when i realized and I wasn't being that big of a B word Well she was at first She was giving real complicated thoughts You would think someone's Whose last name is B word You'd think they'd be a little bit more of a bitch about that I cannot believe this quiet Trash

Maybe that's her real last name so she didn't think anything of it Yeah B word Maria B word It is Louisiana maybe that's her real last name so she didn't think anything of it yeah board maria board hello my name is louisiana it is board my name is poop don't poop lh dr tray but you can call me poop how often do the customers just walk out on you while you're trying to serve them? He called me by the name of Poop. Does that happen to you? How often do customers walk out when you're trying to serve customers?

I can say that I've never had a customer just walk out while I'm trying to. It happened twice to me recently while they were trying to pay. Who do you think the problem is? Them.

100% them. Let me give you the idea. Well, describe these times to us. Okay, I'll describe you the last time, which was this old man, and he had an order that was $20, or no, $17.89 or something. He hands me first a 20,

which I start to break with the incalculated thing and then he like a minute into me already breaking change hands me a handful of loose change like a thick handful and it's like okay actually stop use all of this loose change first and then pay the rest in the cash and i said i can already tell that would have made you yeah i said no i can't do that i'm sorry i'm not doing that it was at exactly 11 10 we open at 11 how are you gonna come in that is an annoying thing to ask incredibly annoying and he was like he was like 78 i told him no he's like, I'm leaving this place. Cancel my fucking order. Uh-huh.

And you were just like, okay, bye. You didn't fight him. Yeah, I didn't fight it off. No one had to work. Well, you won. I feel like in that. I feel like you definitely won that. Yeah.

The other time this woman was trying to scam. And she kept saying, okay, try my gift card. I said, doesn't work she said try it again i know there's money on there i said it does not work again she's like try it this time but enter the number i know you're doing it wrong i enter the full number i'm like ma'am the balance is zero she says fine i'll pay on my card puts the card in card declined declined i'm like try swiping it swipes it she says card decline like can you just please try a new card she's like no let me tap it it always works when i tap it

she taps it it said declined declined for a third time she turns and she goes can i just please have the order now i have tried so many times and nothing's working and i'm like that's not my fault you come in with incorrect money going and that's kind of a big dick move to be like, can you please just give me my food, damn it? Yeah, I mean, it's not a bad idea. The daughter was embarrassed. When someone's card declines, you have to do so much work to make it seem like,

oh, you know, maybe it's the machine. Maybe I'll try tapping it, you know,'ll try tapping it you know you can't be like a poor poor moment but it's like bitch if the machine says if you if there's a transaction that doesn't work because there's some malfunction we've all seen it it says chip malfunction or it says cannot swipe or cannot read the only time you get a declined message is when it was read and you're poor but you have to be like oh i'll try it the chip might might not be working blah blah just just give it up all right why we don't need to do this act for both of us yeah no it was a total it was an act the entire time and i felt like i felt like I was being bamboozled.

You don't like feeling bamboozled. I do not want to feel like I'm being cheated out of my free meal because you want to take a free meal from me. I deserve the free burgers. If there's a burger order that gets canceled, I eat it, not some other sucker on the line. Yeah, because if they've already made the order, and it's like, okay, she's poor, she can't pay, then there's food there for you to eat.

Yeah. I guarantee you to eat. Yeah. I guarantee you I'm hungrier. I used to do that when I would work at restaurants and I'd be really hungry when I was like 20, 21. Call in an order from the bathroom. Never come to pick it up. Oh my God, that's smart. Oh.

I know. Oh, boy. So I used to do that with Domino's. Then it would be like, it would be like why did someone order four salmon salads there's a domino's down my street with a music venue next to it and every time there was a band that i knew that was playing there i would call in custom pizza orders and then cancel the order and then walk to the domino's next door and say can i have y'all's canceled orders from the night and i would they the band would have their custom pizzas and then i would have it's so obvious that's what you're doing

but no no no no but literally literally the the especially if it's a custom you can't eat custom pizza because then you go in there and be like hey y'all don't have any double triple meat lovers deluxe with extra mozzarella no i look i told them i i every time i did this i would show up i would wait till like one and they close at two and i'd be like please can i have all the canceled orders and they would say yes with no hesitation each time yeah actually probably the third time they were like please stop coming and doing this but i was able to give the last time i did it i was absolutely new and they just thought you were the last time i did it it was for this band gloss and the guy got them all their custom okay see i don't understand what the band has to do with it because they really don't because they

wanted their own pizza and i was like i'll get y'all free pizzas tonight i love giving bands free pizzas this is how i got in so crazy to tell someone like hey dinner dinner's on me yeah i think that's nice and then i get it like they have no clue that part of you getting them dinner is not just you flat out buying it for them it's you doing a rube goldberg Looney Tunes ass scam. An Ed, Edd n Eddy scam. Yes, an Ed, Edd n Eddy scam. That is so, you do that shit all the time. That is the most you thing I've ever heard. Where it's like you make

a, you know, and I'm not shitting on you. I love that you do this. But you make like a normal gesture towards someone like, hey, I'll buy you dinner or like, hey, you can stay with me or even ask. Like, hey, can I stay stay with you and it's all like normal asks if it was coming from like a normal friend but then you get like three minutes into whatever this transaction will be and then the kind of behind the scenes i hate you know so much workings the intricate workings that have had to go into play

to spend a night at your house and thank you for listening to seeking derangements we've been lovely to hang out with you today i'm saying i think i love it i love that about you i love that you do that i think it's amazing and very funny i i know i haven't said this in a long time or like brought it up in a while but but when I feel a deep, throbbing red hatred towards you, I see you in all pale. Why do you hate me? I don't hate you. I'm just mad that you said that I was whatever you just said.

That you scammed free pizzas from dominoes and then there's a good thing about you i love that about you oh i love you crafty thanks yeah you're crafty you're you're crafty hassa has been so still this episode she's been holding her phone up the entire episode all right everyone thank you so much for listening um you can find uh one and you know most weeks two um other episodes on our patreon seeking derangements.com um or not seeking your interest patreon.com slash seeking your interest i don't know what's on seeking derangements i'm about to check. Probably a scam.

Follow us on Instagram. I post memes there. You can follow us on Twitter. I don't have anything else to plug. Oh, Hessa and I are hosting this big show, but it's not for a while, so we'll put it up closer to the date. But you can find it.

It's with Club Cringe and Team Rolfs at Zero Space so if you're interested in that at all there's like 40 people on the lineup they're doing some crazy shit I really don't even know but it should be fun

if you're interested in that you can do a Google search and figure it out I want to go to that to be honest what date is um

what month which one of you tweeted today indie rock is so old school I did I was shocked why I was shocked

you can always tell when it's me tweeting or Jock tweeting it's just so funny it's so like thank you for

indie rock is so old school you're not wrong has a reblog give that the reblog it deserves I want that to go

up I will reblog that I missed Tummo it deserves. I want that to go. Reblog that. I missed. Has a boomie for red and gold. It's so funny. All right, guys.

Thanks so much. And goodbye. Bye. Tell me today, right away, what's on your mind? Don't be afraid, baby, say What's on your mind? Uh-huh, baby, put my mind at ease Tell me the way you want love to be Oh, let me know, let me know What's on your mind? Bye.