Seeking Derangements - SD 190 - Say Uncle

Episode Date: January 23, 2023

It's our 200th episode!!! We didn't know that when we recorded but regardless, today we bring you a deep dive into the Gay Porn monopoly known as Say Uncle, home to some of the most heinous porn series known to gay. We're talking MissionaryBoyz, Brother Crush, and Therapy Dick just to name a few. We also get into George Santos slaying like no other. Subscribe to us on Patreon for one bonus episode (sometimes two) per week!

Hey, you better lift up your voice While you still got a choice It should be coming very clear Read the signs You know the end is near Where has all the love gone? Where has all the love gone? Too much hate And doing wrong No more

This old world is in big trouble No more Soon it will be Hello everyone and welcome to Seeking Derangements. It's me, Jock, and Hessa here as usual. Guys, I want to open with something that is a little troubling to us, a little close to our hearts as independent podcasters and media elite. The huge problem in this country, you know, consolidated media companies, I feel like all of these, from local news they're all owned at the monopolies monopolies they're all monopolies they're all owned by three or four

media conglomerates you know and that's mr monopoly really pressing really scary for you know what that means for our democracy but what's possibly what's possibly most scary about this is that these monopolies even extend to gay porn and i am of course talking about the say uncle gay porn monopoly that i've recently stumbled across in some independent research i was doing outside the show you were looking for documentaries to watch i was looking i was trying to expose purposes yeah yeah i was trying to expose monopolies documentary yeah exactly exactly and i just want you know to really just to really show how scary and far reaching this one specific gay porn production company is i want to read you guys some of the series they have um they boast uh 72 plus individual porn channels and sites um so just imagine the amount of people who have been

probably like legitimately abused by whatever evil gay man runs this company but just to get some off the top i'm gonna tell you guys the name of the porn channel and i want you to guess what it might be some of these are going to be obvious and some are going to be maybe not so much obvious um so out of their 60 exclusive series and bonus channels we're gonna start with number one brother crush okay okay that one i think starting off on easy mode i see um exactly i think um probably stepbrothers stepbrothers having sex with each other I'm gonna guess it's really big foot guys that crush each other

okay that's an interesting angle yeah now that you have a sort of romantic crush but that your brother with cartoonishly big feet is crushing you like a trash compactor like a grapes like he. Yeah, like a grape. Like he's turning you into gay wine.

Well, I will say this. Hessa, ding, ding, ding, you do win. That is about fucking your very hot and usually straight homophobic stepbrother. Well, that's ironic, actually.

Yeah, no. These these the thing about i love a theme this say uncle bonus channels in exclusive series they are like one of those porn companies that makes like incredibly cartoonish meme-y gay porn. I believe it's the company that did the In Front of My Salad clip that was going viral the other or like a couple weeks ago where it's a guy

who's working at a salad restaurant at like a Sweet Green and his ass is like behind a curtain right? and he's getting fucked while he's selling a woman a salad and she realizes that he's being fucked that's the role i want i want to be the woman in gay porn who you don't have to do anything yeah you just have to like deliver one line in a funny way i think that's the ultimate yeah a woman who slowly realizes why the twink at the salad counter is vibrating and moaning

okay next one um very similar variation on a theme here it's called Family Dick. Okay. I'm going to guess it's like a cult. It's like the family. Like Manson family porn. It could be like a mob thing. You know, like family. I like that Jock is thinking out of the box here with these. This is one of the more obvious ones. Yeah, I was going to say.

I think this is about a family of people who are gay and who suck and fuck each other. Before confirming this, I just realized what this is actually about. Yeah. When it comes to families, there's only one family. The royal family. Guy. Oh, The royal family.

Guy. Oh, the royal family. True. So it's got to be Meghan Markle and Harry's traumatizing and debilitating sex tape or whatever. So it's straight sex between royals. Are all of these incest? Is it like all incest? Because it's called So Uncle. I will answer your question right now, Hessa.

Family Dick, the original gaycest family porn site. I love jerking off to stories and videos of dads having sex with their step-sons. I know, gaycest is so homophobic. If Westboro Baptists got their hands on this, we would be done for.

Yeah. It'd be so homophobic. Oh, they know about this trust me babe they know about it yeah if Westboro finds out about this they're launching the nukes they've done a lot of documentaries they've done a lot of research

they've taken notes they've rewinded certain parts rewatched them several times they listen to a lot of karaoke versions of songs so they can create parody versions of the songs. This is so odious. I thought those feelings would go away when I moved out on my own. But now that I'm in college, those feelings have only gotten stronger. I flirt with older men online and get them to send me videos of them fucking their step sons.

Since I'm beating off to this shit anyway, why not share it and make some money? I get the best. It's so funny because they're trying to pretend that this is one guy. It's like one guy, yeah. Really, really good at catfishing stepdads to fuck their sons. But then you look at some of these thumbnails and it is the most like commercial lighting. Like they look like target ads it's well i think high def cameras like the funniest possible thing would be if it was if that

was true and if that was true for all 71 other sites it's like a guy who has a billion fetishes and is like uh blowfeld like running like a specter type like far-reaching empire of just tricking people with his like 300 iq to like fuck their family members one of the one of the uh sub series here on family dick is called i'll be whole for christmas that's so good holy shit holy shit let's get on to the next one because as i've said we've got quite a few to go through here um this one i feel like is going to be is about a a group of people that makes chess leches cakes with i think it's um your abuelito um and it's a bunch of abuelito porn um no i think it's probably a bunch of latin latino for us beautiful cut latino twinks that are you know cause english speakers what does the word abuelito mean abuelito isn't that it

means grandfather joke yeah yeah it means pp in cajun really pp and poop poo what you call your grandparents abuelito bozo abuelito bozo gonzolin abuelito gonzolino abuelito bozo and suddenly like yeah don't say that seven times in the mirror yeah the grim reapers trumpet sounds and like a portal opens um no you've spoken in the ancient language of the demons vlad and leche is um the first one on this list to not be incest um it is just uh it's latino check hunter it is a guy with a handheld camera walking up to you. What's check hunter? You don't know what check hunter is?

Shut up, Hessa. No, what's check hunter? Are you kidding me? No, what is it? Don't lie to us, Hessa. Check hunter is an iconic gay porn series that predates, say, Uncle. I remember high school. that predates say uncle i remember high school it is um on the streets and it's not real but it feels way more real than this stuff it's a guy with a handheld camera um going up to like

chernobyl victims wearing like adidas tracksuits and he's like you know can i suck your dick and he sucks um their dicks but there's a famous angle the check hunter angle much like the cubic stare um where it's it's the point of view of uh just a hand holding out uh like ukrainian uh cash uh in front of the you know a kind of like really like you know ukraine like ukrainian guy on the street some kind of street urchin and i feel like at that point he says yes to getting a stick sucked i feel like at that point it's not explicitly like not real because like i'm sure it's not that's not the first that's not the first moment they've talked but i i do feel it is a desperate person at the end of their oh absolutely it's a dramatization of the real terms that's happening you know um that's what latin lecce is of course

it's much more produced i have seen their videos legitimately and they're fine um the next one that's so funny legitimately i did jerk yeah i came i don't know i'm trying to be a little professional here so if we could wrap that up please um the next one is my personal favorite because i am not kidding you this um website is spelled in the Powerpuff Girl font. Oh my God. It's like that retro block text. Wait, can I guess? Can I guess what it is?

You're not going to guess what it is. But yes, please. Twink Striker. What would that be? The new Marvel film? It's like a twink wearing like superhero costume that no it's called missionary boys damn oh my god the powerpuff girl font it's i love this one i haven't said that these all have their own amazing logos whatever man is doing the graphic design for the

say uncle media monopoly is so amazing at his job and is probably making so much money. Missionary Boys. Michael Saville. Missionary Boys, ladies, you know, this one I think is a little bit harder because Missionary we all know is a, well,

I'm just going to let you two guess. What do we think it is? Missionary Boys? Or like religious? Well, the position is I would, if it was straight, I would go straight to missionary position. The fact that it's missionary boys makes me feel like there's a religious

element. These are boys of the frock. No, no, you're close, Hessa. It's like a mission impossible theme kind of porno okay okay so so kind of like twink striker one of my favorite websites my favorite movie yeah um okay well is that it does it sound like we're talking? I mean, you do have two options, basically. And the correct option was these are boys on a missionary trip to spread the good word of God.

Oh, no. That's so much worse than what I think. Yeah, no. That's so bad. It's hilarious. Wait, one second. Let me Google mission. Let's go to the primary website here.

Okay, okay, okay. I'm going to go on it, too. What's going on? And I want to know why it's in the Powderpuff Girl font. I am not kidding. It literally is. Oh, it's Missionary Boys official site. Formerly Mormon Boys. So they have converted. And they are now, I think, just

vaguely Christian. Missionary Boys. Gay religious boys will do anything formerly known as their elders mormon boys with a z with it oh so they're just okay so i'm looking it's not wow it's not what i thought it was i what i was picturing was a bunch of like catholic missionaries going to like um the amazon and going to guatemala yeah yeah but what it looks like it is is mormons in a terrifying white void a room that is all white with no furniture at all so cool it is purely that you cannot see any horizon line there's no walls they are in a

completely white heaven-like void where two boys are now oh my god it's it's like the jorgen leth short film the perfect human if anyone has seen that it's it's the same exact thing but instead of like a guy eating cereal it's like eating a thing, but instead of a guy eating cereal, it's like... He's eating a twink's ass. Yeah, he's literally eating a twink's ass. Okay, here we go. I've got the bio. The site formerly known as Mormon Boy, there is nothing more important than keeping the faith,

especially for the missionary boys. These religious twinks... These religious twinks... These religious twinks. These religious twinks go to great lengths to please the powers above. And their elders, aka leaders,

reap all the benefits. Home to the best religious gay porn, Missionary Boys is a longtime fan favorite. Loaded with enough scenes to last blah, blah, blah. Yeah.

Oh my God. They have a be a model tab jock we could right I feel like there's probably a better there's going to be a better site we can send you yeah if there's one about like trash trailer Cajun cum fucking a dishwasher

alligator fuck house by the way I just have to say that the reason Mormonormon boys changed their name uh was because if you google mormon boys immediately the lawsuit of boy scouts of america the lawsuit of boy scouts of america versus the morm Mormon church comes up. Of course it does. It's so funny. It's so funny that the Mormon church is literally outpacing the Say Uncle franchise in doing absolutely humiliating sexual things to actual boys. Yeah, yeah. That's so fucked up.

All right. Let's go. Let's get another one. This one is pretty funny. This one is called Young Perps. Oh my God. Young Perps

is... Young Perps. It's the Young Turks. That sounds like a Harmony Corrine movie. It's the right wing Young Turks. Sounds like a gang. They have a version over there The Young Perps They have a version over there on Young Perps who's

fucking Assad A what version? It's a Young Turks joke never mind You know Young Turks The Young Perps Just sounded like he said a bad word I think that's that's his name no no no

no no no no no no uh you grow whatever the fuck his name is okay um it does sound like a slur his entire name is making a note right here well you did that is fine no i did it no i don't okay i believe is his name um you're being i think if you keep repeating the word it doesn't make it better coming out of your mouth but that's literally his name anyways let's get to young perps what do we think okay young perps i think young perps probably a jail type thing um yeah probably jail a gang of people called the young purples aka I love where

your brain goes with this as someone who's been arrested 12 times I don't know why this isn't immediately clicking with you I've been arrested 3 times so let's calm down so I mean it's pretty yeah it's like jail they

go to jail and the guards show them who's show that teach them a lesson i think that's probably um your your that is what it should be this website is really weird because you can tell it has come from once very kind of predatory impulse in gay men because it's so weirdly specific it follows a guy it follows a security guard at like a store or something who's watching cameras and then sees like really hot twunks rob the store like shoplift and then he brings them back into his incredibly disgusting littered office. There's just covered in boxes and filing like folders and shit. And then he searches them and molest them. And that's what the Young Herb franchise is.

It's, again, incredibly poorly acted and very very very very comical um usually going gay going gay to avoid jail time is their is their tagline young male young males cost retailers millions of dollars due to their sticky finger actions. Oh my God, that's so good. Whoever wrote that copy is a genius. Suck, dig, and take it deep or directly go to jail. It's like a monopoly card. Our security guards and loss prevention officers are hung and hungry for straight boy ass.

Jacques is having a trauma flashback to the time that this actually happened to him in real life. Okay. Jacques is blacking out. I'm not blacking out, honey. I'm reminiscing. There's a difference. Okay.

Let's get to the next one. I'm loving doing this. We're we're only about halfway through oh please please can we keep going it's having yeah i love this do they get crazier and crazier the last one is my personal favorite okay and this is the this is like the creme de la creme of the Say Uncle franchise. These are their top series. As I've already said, they've got about 90 of these. I don't know. I bet some of the less popular ones are crazy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, the next one is called Yes, Father. Okay, pretty... That's Priest. Yeah. That's Altaboy Priest. called yes father okay pretty that's uh priest yeah that's altar boy priest uh wrong wrong wrong oh jock jock's okay jock what do you think yes father is um this is actually about you were kind of close it's about a particular father um who's having trouble raising his son because of the job. This is sounding like a 90s sitcom premise. Yeah, it's a Gus Van Sant movie. No, Jock, you are wrong.

I'm sorry to tell you this. It is quite obviously a priest molestation. Okay, so closer to the set of a real Gus Van Sant movie. From what I've heard. Yeah, Yes Father is just fine. It's not going to touch missionary boys, but it is canonically Catholic, right? They are looking at it now. They're having sex in confessional booths. Oh, it's it is um canonically catholic right they are looking at it now they're having sex in

confessional booths oh it's rough oh my god what's wrong with having sex not in front of my holy water not in front of my holy water like the water can see are you telling me that you wouldn't have sex with a priest if he wasn't hot? I mean, if he was hot? Well, if I were a... I mean, if I was a small boy trying to confess my sins to the Lord, I probably wouldn't. Yeah. All right.

The next one I love. The next one I love. This one cracked me the hell up. It is called Bottom Games. Oh, my God. What do we think bottom games are y'all that's it don't look it up i can tell you i'm not i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry okay okay our bottom games clearly i think it's like funny games like the movie where two bottoms show up and torture a family which is actually now that i think about it the real plot of that is that movie okay those guys gay and i used to have

their brothers right their twins their brothers i used to have such a crush But they are gay also. On the little short, short one. He's so hot. He's also in Benny's video. Michael Pitt? No, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about the Austrian funny games. The first one. Oh, I can't picture him. Have you seen Benny's video?

He's been in a couple of funny games. He's in Benny's video. Oh. Have you seen the Austrian Hunger Games? yeah I was thinking of bottom games, funny games you've seen the Austrian I much prefer the Austrian bottom games the games are a lot more disgusting and horrifying

there's a lot more shit involved they're a lot funnier they're a lot funnier they take bottom a lot more literally there in austria um no he's so hot if the viewer or the listener i'm sure there's going to be at least one gay gay guy out there who also had a crush on him no guys what do we think what do we think bottom games are um so i think it's like where they pick out the bottom of society like the dregs of society and make them fight each other uh usually uh i've never i'm not really familiar with that i just

assumed it was like hobo fight videos like bum fights but in this case it's bottoms i mean i thought bottoms was another word word for people who are low in society. Yeah, like the untouchables in a caste system. More of just really poor people. Yeah, that's what I mean. But yes, yes, yes. Okay, so it's them and they... Okay, yeah.

Hessa, what do you think bottoms are? I think it's a bunch of bottoms playing Monopoly. Okay, I want Hessa's answer. I would watch that. You would watch that? I would watch a bunch of bottoms play Monopoly. I think it'd be hilarious. That sounds literally like a Netflix series.

Don't you get that? Go, sister! That's just a Friday night for me, baby. Seven bottoms playing Mon monopoly on a friday okay i mean maybe the bottom games could be you know like an olympics style don't watch you can't watch drag queen you can't watch rupaul and it's how many of them can resist the urge to watch rupaul for the longest whoever doesn't wins and then he gets to bottom instead of getting to top because he loves bottoming

and whoever loses the bottom games they have to top and they hate they hate it the whole they're crying the whole time they're crying stop they're crying and puking what is it really what is bottom games let's see here it's a hunger games parody bottom games okay let's go to bottom games.com that's why i'm gonna get so many seven different porn sites um it looks like it looks like what i thought it was to be honest this uh two clearly five foot one guys arm wrestling while standing up on a mattress where could that go where's that gonna lead they're all standing up on a mattress it's the weirdest way you could ever have an arm wrestle there's it doesn't make any sense it's impossible there's you need like a surface we can use these as the cover art maybe

we'll make a montage for the cover art there's two gay guys here again standing on a mattress and they are just touching their toes together and there's one they're holding they're doing the chicken dance um okay and now they're now they're getting naked oh wow they put two gay guys at the end of a mattress and they tied them together with a rope a la tug of war but it does turn out that whoever wins does nope whoever wins gets to top that's they still have not inverted that age old that harmful old trope. Okay, so I... Whatever happened... Whatever happened to the old kind of bottoms? So far, this like... You know, this seems like it would be the funnest one to be like a producer or director on.

Because you get to like make up like a weird... I think Jigsaw would be really good at this. I think not to bring it back to Jigsaw. I want to play a bottom game. I think not to bring it back to Jigsaw. I want to play a bottom game. I'll just be a star here. In front of you, there is a bottle of silicon-based lube and a double-sided dildo.

You have 15 minutes to make each other cum or you will explode anally. There's been a bomb that's been planted in your ass, and the only way you can defuse it is to put a dildo in there to shut it off. Bottom games. Gay jocks compete for cock. Oh my god!

I'm basically already on it. You were here because you were all gay jocks. And you were competing for cock. Hello, you are all people named Jacques here who are... I was hanging with Sam and Jake the other day, Ben, and I said

someone looked like Jigsaw and Sam was like, why are you so obsessed with Jigsaw? Sam Rolls? I was like, I don't know. I need help. That's so funny. I was like, I don't know. I need help. That's so funny. Okay, okay, okay.

Next one is... No, because I'm telling you this. This has been my theory. Once you see how every famous person looks like Jigsaw, you cannot unsee it. Jigsaw is the most beautiful person on the Miss V.R. I think there's just something wrong with us. I think Sam might be right.

Also, someone pointed out that Jigsaw... Also, hi, Sam, if you're listening. Someone pointed out that Jigsaw is actually the name of the guy who kills everyone. The name of the puppet... The puppet has its own little name. Mm-mm.

That can't possibly be right. You are very incorrect. First of all, you're clearly wearing the wrong glasses because you can't think of a C-shape. The next one is called... I love the next one. Whenever Jock starts to describe what we look like, I'm moving on.

I'm sorry. You look like a nerd today. The next one is called... I love this one. Dad Creep. Dad Creep? Oh my fucking god. I know. It's so bad. the next one is called I love this one dad creep dad creep I know it's so bad dad creep dad

creep that's like what a gay porn website in a Ryan Tricartan movie would be called dad creep gay porn website in a Ryan Trichartan movie would be called. Dad creep. I just love that gay guys are so fucked up in the head that they're into

dads, but a subcategory of dad that is creepy. That is an archetype unto itself to them. Are we sure that this is not about a fetish? It could be something else. Chuck, what do you think?

I'm thinking it's a fetish that involves really quiet dads creeping alongside a lot of people sleeping. A stealth Metal Gear Solid type dads trying to sneak up on you know step sons kind of like a prank show almost but like it's not funny it's scary you're scared for them

it's like a dad crawling towards you like the girl from the ring does yeah he's like rock hard oiled up crawling on the ceiling head spinning around

it could be that what if it's like a horror it's a horror type gay porn his head spinning around his body ceiling projectile vomiting

cum yeah okay all jokes aside, what are you doing up there? Is that a real thing? His cock spinning around and spraying cum like all over. Is that a real thing? Is that a real thing?

Is that a real thing? What do you mean? No, no, no. I mean like is there actual gay horror porn? Well, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, like, is there actual gay horror porn? Well, there has to be. Absolutely. I'm going to be honest.

I have not opened up Dad Creep, and I definitely think it could be horror-themed. Well, let's see. Let's check. Yeah, click it right now. Open it, Ben. Let's go. I'm opening it.

I should have opened an incognito tab for this. Oh my god. What is that? This website is... Okay, I literally think I got a virus. Is there a picture of you on there? This does not look like any of the other websites. It looks...

It's completely blank. Oh my god. I'm on dadcreep.com it sent me to rerouted me to webchart.org site slash dadcreep.com okay i think this website has been taken down ben's been hacked dadcreep.com dadcreep gay creepy stepdad porn dadcreep.com the official dadcreep.com site features videos of creepy stepdads have sex with step sons nothing but the creepiest perverted daddy porn nothing but the creepiest for our viewers if a guy is a little bit not creepy if it's if his creepiness is in question you won't see him on here i think Creep has literally been taken down from the internet.

But randomly, randomly though, Dad Creep is also the name of a TV miniseries apparently. Dad Creep? Yeah, Dad Creep is a TV miniseries from 2020. It has an IMDB page.

Let's see what this is about. Dad Creep is the creepiest stepdad and stepson gay porn series that you'll ever see these stepsons these stepdads love nothing more than spending quality time with the younger males at the house when they do things get extremely creepy some men just crave one thing all the time their stepson there's a reason why stepdads have why stepdad has earned the nickname dad creep and it's all because his sexual desires and creepy behavior okay never mind um the dad creep with an imdb imdb page is in fact the the porn it's not a tv miniseries okay yeah i was about to say i

seriously cannot imagine that there's a tv miniseries called Dad Creep with Paul Giamatti. Okay, next one. Right, you guys ready? No, we're not ready. Yes, of course we're ready. We're sitting here. Okay, I'm just waiting for a yes. The next one is called Twink Trade.

Okay. That's easy. That's so easy. Easy. Easy. Classic. Yeah. This is so easy.

It's a twink and a trade. Twinks and trade. Easy. Next. That one isn't even worth getting into. All right. No. The next one.

Like trades. Like trade school. It's like a twink with a different trade school. Who is learning to fix a motorcycle? This is too easy. It's about like there's a stock market. There's a stock market full of like bears and daddies. And they're like betting on twinks.

They're like selling and buying different twink stocks. No, this is the TV show. It's like, seven twinks competing to find one real job. Oh my god, it's so much worse. Guys, it's so much worse. What is it? It's so much worse.

I thought they meant trade like straight guy. No, in fact, they don't. The official home of twink trade where horny dads swap I thought they meant trade like straight guy. No, in fact, they don't. The official home of twink trade where horny dads swap and fuck each other's gay sons. What the fuck? Oh my god. Why are there so many

dad ones? It's about stepdads who are running a child sex ring. Oh my god. Gay people need to be eliminated they're talking about the we have to do something about it twinks trade

it's a pun on the spice trade so my thing my joke about the stock market where it's daddy's trading stocks and twinks is actually very close to the closest thing to the correct this is starting to feel so homophobic to even put this this on the air tucker got this gay sons look up to their dads in fact many fantasize of not only being with

the man their dad is but also falling in love with someone who's just like him in this gay taboo porn series young twink boys who are cherished sons are traded by dads for everyone's pleasure i'm not gonna finish this okay i can barely even say this aloud it feels like i will i will summon the demon into my life if i say this. Okay. Now we can just cut Now we can just cut. Oh god. This is gonna get so bad. The next one is called Boys Camp. Oh my god. Okay.

I think we can skip that one. I think we all know what Boys Camp is gonna be. What if it means camp like that's so campy. Like John Waters. Can I say what darkness i'm imagining yes please um yes of course this is clearly i'm not googling the darkest of their it's concentration camp porn

okay let's go to the next one the next one i also am i'm scared of all of these now the next one is hilarious though because it is in the um what do you call the machine that monitors your heart rate ekg machine so it has a little ekg line okay that it is like heart pulses that squiggly line that's in like Grey's Anatomy and shit yeah this one is called Dr. Tapes oh no not Dr. Tapes so this is the most

traumatized gay man in America whoever whoever runs Say Uncle has has been so molested. The ultimate uncle. He named it after his uncle who used to say that to him. It's like people being interviewed to work at SayUncle. They're like, how many times have you been in some...

How sexy were you as a child? Yeah. It's Peter Thiel. It's a Peter Thiel website. He's the uncle. Say Peter. Okay, doctor tapes. I feel like that's...

Again, this is... Pretty self-explanatory. Getting molested by your doctor. I feel like i don't even need to okay we've got three more no we're gonna get through this y'all i'm gonna miss it the next one is one of my favorites um it's in the like collegiate athletic font, that big kind of blocky, almost military font. Yeah, the varsity font. Varsity font. Okay.

Need to do it, Jack. This is going to be... I'm almost sure I didn't say that because it's going to be a dead giveaway, but it's hilarious because this series is called Bully Him. Bully Him is so ominous. It is like a command.

You're being bullied into bullying him. Arguably what this show should be, could be called. Bully them. I would love if there's a new series Just called bully them And I'm just in the hot seat the whole time Being bullied

What do we think this one is What do we think this one is Hmm I'm gonna guess it's a bunch of jock bullies Um Bullying Little twinks Okay I got it wait hold on you know what this one is actually

it sounds kind of subversive because usually the gay the gay kid is the one being bullied but this takes place in like almost a woke reimagining of the world in which the straight kids are the ones that get bullied the gay kids are the jocks. And it's like that Heathers remake that was really bad, where the Heathers are all non-binary and trans people. That was the worst. CIS. C-I-S. That was the worst remake of anything that ever came to be,

that Heathers remake. It's so funny. I'm trying to go to the website for bullyhim.com, so I typed in bully him gay and the results are so funny because it is all um hundreds of other sites that are exactly like that no no it's way funny there it's all academic papers about how much gay kids get bullied in school. The first result for bully him gay, stopbullying.gov.

Oh my God. Different forms of bullying matter for adolescent males. It's a government website dedicated to taking bully him off the internet because it's so homophobic and weird. That's so gay from an LGBT organization called One Colorado. Could you all imagine some parent trying to Google about how to protect their

gay son from being bullied and accidentally ending up on gaybullyhemporn.com? Yeah. My homophobic bullying story. My son is being bullied and I don't know what to do. Can I explain the gay jocks what it actually is? It's a bunch of clones of you.

No, no, no, no, no. It's way more complex than that. It's a group of French exchange students, all named Jacques, who come to America to play sports. Jacques. Okay. Jacques. Yeah. Jacques.

Okay. Interesting. No, it is so I can't refund. I don't want to refund. How many are left? Is this the last one?'s two more the last one is

okay okay let's let's get through let's bully him horny gay bullies versus nerds at school gotta get those grades up i think it would be more subversive if the nerds were gay and they're the ones bullying these like big jocks into having sex with them. That would be very funny. Yeah. That would be so cool. First of all we're not big. You don't have to call us big jocks. It's very rude. See I think they completely dropped the ball here because it should have been

like frat hazing initiation videos. Why do you? Why? You bully him. You're bullying a guy at a hazing ritual i mean that's like well i think bully is a very high school term though i guess it is my high school haze and that would be like haze i'm sure there's a haze him i'm sure i'm sure say uncle if we know anything about them they would never pass on an opportunity period to have another disgusting series. The next one, I feel like we can

breeze past. Why? It is the graphic design for this is amazing. It's a boot print. Okay. But then in the boot print is spelled military dick.

Okay. Thank you. Thank you, sir. I thought you were about to bring me the Kevin Carpenter's personal page or something. It's Pete's documentary. Is this a sequel to Family Dick? Family Dick and then Military Dick.

I think they're more cousins than siblings. Well, I don't fuck veterans, so I'm very turned off, but keep going that's true i'm kidding i do think they're more active military okay the next one the next one which at the end of this reading series is not going to be as funny as i guess it was when i first saw it maybe so it's called therapy dick oh my god see a story actually a story is being told um it starts with family dick where you get dick down in your family then military dick and you get like you know a hazed and like bullied by your drill sergeant in the military and then you need therapy for it so you go to therapy dick and you get dick

down by your therapist which helps you heal you this is almost a kind of a never ending cycle of pain this is almost a a Nas guardian kind of very pained detailed

memoir of the most molested boy in the world this sounds like a merry-go-round ride I want to get off of so that I mean a therapy dick again I don't should we just I want to hear the description for therapy

I bet it's funny what if it's like really self-care and like woke I think well therapy implies that they're being therapy deck. I bet it's funny. What if it's like really self-care and like woke? Well, therapy implies that they're being fixed. They're being helped. Wait, are you not supposed to have sex with your therapist? Wait, hold on, hold on. Pause, pause, pause. Is it not normal to have sex with your therapist? I thought that was just like a condition.

It depends on what kind of therapist. I feel like whatever floats your boat, you know. You go on therapy deck and Jacques is on the kind of therapist. I feel like whatever floats your boat, you know. You go on therapy deck and Jacques is on the first 10 videos. No, Ben, don't go. Let's go to the next thing. Let's go to the next thing, Ben. Don't go to therapy deck, please.

Please. I'm like, I keep telling y'all, y'all, I've been seeing this new therapist. He's trying a bunch of new techniques. I've never had the... Oh, God. This is so fucked up. The roleplay technique. I wonder what roles we're going to play.

Oh, God. Self-control exercise. It's just edging? Slave play, but for gay people, it's the same type of thing. Yeah, literally. God, this is so fucked up oh god gay perverted therapy porn what is therapy dick it's proof that professional help works in family therapy stepfathers stepsons and step they love a theme they really will not

stop with the stepfathers and stepsons and step work through their problems with a kind but tough relationship expert who uses roleplay, behavioral therapy, hypnosis, and other methods to deepen their paternal and fraternal bonds. Ew. Why do they turn to... Why did they turn to a professional? Well, because he knows how to deal with the problem. Wow.

With the problems that are... Let me tell you, that are all too common between stepfathers, sons, and brothers. Principally, that they can't stop

wanting to fuck each other. Jealousy, sibling rivaling, bullying, hungering for love and approval, having to share a bed, coming to terms with sexuality. This is so disgusting.

Enjoy the official Therapy Dick updates by becoming a member today. Oh my God. I think you need help, Ben. It sounds like he's fixing the problems caused by pretty much every other website.

That we've discussed. It sounds like Therapy Dick is like after they are in one of the other videos they should do one called like lawyer cock attorney hole it's like a terrifying like this is like someone's like personal hell where they're um after the therapy deck trying to fix their like family all sucking and fucking each other they try to sue the therapist for not helping and then the lawyer does the same thing to them and then they it just keeps like every single facet of their life okay it just becomes a gay porn extravaganza.

I just designed Say Uncle's newest gay porn website. Are you guys ready for it? What do you think? Yeah, I'm ready. It's called In the Janitor's Closet. It's a series of people having sex with the janitor inside his closet. It's the closet janitor. In his actual closet, though.

You know how they have a janitor's's all it's i think it in his actual closet though because you know how they have like a janitor's closet yeah yeah yeah i think it needs like a snappier name for to be like a true say uncle it's got to be called like mop suck or something something horrifying like that i'm not calling it my beautiful mop suckers mop suck mop suck.com sorry this website has been taken down by the romanian government now i'm just imagining putting the wet mop outside of the place

i work in my mouth and sucking the juice out of it i'm sure someone would pay for that yeah god okay should we move on this is really taken we've been going for 50 minutes. Oh my god.

It's the entire show. I think Seeking Derangement could be its own. It basically is a Say Uncle title. Honestly, it's better than a Say Uncle title. It's about fucking crazy guys. Can we just start producing porn?

Not us. I don't think... Can't we just start fucking porn not us not i don't think i yeah can't we just no no no no no no no no no no no no no i'm saying we should become non-executives i feel like i'm working with you managing you is basically shut up you're making me me burp so much today. Oh my gosh. You're making me burp so much. Shut the hell up.

Okay, we still have a little bit of time left. Let's go for it. Do you want to do the AI thing? I think we can save the AI thing for next time. We have a very special something. Well, let's get to George Santos. A guy who is doing a kind of he's kind of doing a say uncle special something. Well, let's get to George Santos. Yeah, I think we should address that. He's kind of doing a

say uncle spin off of his own. He is, of course, I believe he's a representative from Queens. I might be wrong. Who really cares? We're not a political show. Doesn't matter what policy he's affecting or anything. What does matter is that he is

a big, big gay liar um who is a one that's big and gay yeah um he has recently been outed i guess if people don't know about him i feel like most people will but he's fresh off a huge string of lies um that dropped right after winning the election it's almost performance art like in that it it truly seems like nothing he has ever said in his entire life has been true at all which is truly he's had about eight fake names um one it's like steven devolder he's lied about his ethnicity many times he is uh what ethnicity does he claim to be he claimed to be jewish he came to be jewish for quite a while um and he said his name was something like steven zombrowski and when he was asked why he was pretending to be Jewish by a friend of

his, who also knew that he claimed to be Latino, this friend didn't know what his real ethnicity was, but he was like, well, why are you pretending to be Jewish all of a sudden? And he's like, well,

it helps me get a better real estate deals. He's like, Jews love working with other Jews. I have to say this. i did pretend to be jewish recently to get out of sensitivity training and it worked well be careful this is a free episode like i've told you told you three times today to not say something that is going to get you fired from your job no this is okay this one this is this one thing is like... I feel like it's fine. What did you say to... Well, the owner is Jewish,

and so basically to get out of claims of me being anti-Jewish, I just had to say that I was Jewish. What were the claims that you were being anti-Semitic? Well, no, I i mean it was sensitivity training and then they were like well you need to be sensitive about jewish people and i'm like well i am jewish so i am sensitive to them and then i left um and i'm not i am really sensitive i actually cry every day just so you know and so what i'm so curious what i know weird things probably talking about kanye or something being such a liar right now.

You're so clearly obfuscating and lying. They just said that, Jock, you know, you gotta be specifically sensitive to Jewish people. After I did nothing and I said I am Jewish. I don't think this even happened. I think you're going Santos mode.

Let's get back to George Santos so we don't expose Jock's anti-semitism okay it's not anti-semitism and then i will i will confirm that the the truth behind the matter is is that i was able to get sensitivity training canceled by um a few lies, but this is worth it. You're such a liar right now. Yeah. I've never seen you try to think harder and you came up with nothing. First of all, I.

That sentence was a complete goose egg. First of all, everyone knows that gooses don't have eggs, so that's your lie. Oh, that's true. I'm an idiot. Okay, well, let's get back to George Santos because Jock is not going to tell us the truth here. When I can prove this,

I will be right and rectified. All right, can't wait for that one. George Santos... He's got the Wikipedia section on his... Oh my God, does he have a live section on his Wikipedia, his Wikipedia is so long. It is like a book. It's like short story length. It's like when Azealia Banks had a tab about all of her fights and it was

seven paragraphs and it was all hyperlinked to people who she called fat or something. He's lying about so much stuff. Hessa, do you have the lies in front of you it's it's like i'm not kidding it's like 20 paragraphs and they're all so long it's we can't read through them my favorite lie up until this point was lying about being jewish he lied about his mom dying in 9-11 um many times he just says these constantly. He lied about inventing,

being some critical part in inventing solar energy, I believe. Is he running for president? I don't understand. Oh my God, his defense of saying he was Jewish is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Do you have it? Yeah. Jock, you might have to read this one.

During the interview, he said, I never claimed to be jewish i am catholic because i learned my maternal family had a jewish background i said i was jew ish which is the funniest thing i've ever heard in my entire life oh my god i'm a little jewish that's hilarious i just laughed so hard i got wax in my hair i wonder if that god was that a defense he made at the time um that's he made that in december 2022 um he also not only did he claim to be Jewish, he claimed that his grandparents were Jewish Holocaust refugees. No. He fled Soviet Ukraine.

It's such a liar. And it turns out, guess what? Both his maternal grandparents were born in Brazil. Is that even a real thing? Holocaust refugees? Yes. Yes. Oh my God. It's probably one of the realest things that's ever happened.

I'm starting to see why that sensitivity training was specifically geared towards you and not being anti-Semitic. Wait, wait, wait. That was completely misunderstood. I just thought that. I don't think so. No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait. Hold on.

I thought that once they were freed, they weren't considered refugees. Okay. I don't know. Just shut up um i have he's so george santos has um the most the funniest thing to come out about him as a plate is that he was a drag queen for seemingly quite a while when he lived in Brazil. And it's so funny because the person who is outing him as this drag queen is a practicing drag queen in Brazil who's like 40-something. And she's been responding to people's tweets about George Santos for months. Just being like, oh, oh.

And you would read it and just be like, oh, this is an insane woman. Because she's getting one like, two like. And she's's like he used to be a drag queen he used to drag together it turns out it's literally not lying and he was a drag queen wait one second i want to try to find this this he's so cool where is he a politician he looks like um queens oh um it's so funny okay his his drag name was katara ravash that's so is he indian no he's brazilian he's probably lied he's probably lied about being indian i'm sure oh my god there's a video now but does that name sound like there's a video something comes out every hour coming out about him we need

he is so cool i'm so obsessed with him he's a republican by the way if no one he's a republican who's been who's literally been saying stuff like uh i we need to bring the don't say gay bill to New York. Yeah. And he's like, it's like he literally, the videos of him like being confronted in Congress are so funny because like, it's him like walking, dressed like a fucking idiot.

Like wearing like a sweater, a sports coat, sneakers, and thin pants and just like he wears the he wears the type of clothes that you would wear if you were a your three toddlers trying to pretend to be a senator or something yeah yeah and he um it's like reporters kind of like flocking around him asking him questions and then he has this little twink enforcer that this little blonde twink that is his like he's like please no questions we have somewhere to be please step away please and just like pushes everyone away like friend like gets in between everyone and him it's so funny so this twink he's definitely fucking yeah after a and the funny thing is the only thing he has

he hasn't lied about is being gay yeah which now i suspect he might be straight and is just pretending to be gay who even know yeah just completely yeah just doing drag for no reason he probably has no clue what he so after after just a still piling mountain of evidence that he did drag, literally there are videos of him like flopping his arms around like a faggot on the streets of South Howell or something. Oh, he claimed to have been diagnosed

with a brain tumor and received radiation treatment. Y'all, I want to be so cool so this is response to um all of this mounting evidence literal footage of him in drag is this tweeted this morning the most recent obsession from the media claiming that i am a drag queen or quote-unquote performed as a drag queen is categorically false the media continues to make outrageous claims about my life while i am working to deliver results i will not be distracted nor phased by this the um two of santos's former roommates accused him of stealing personal effects including a 520 burberry scarf he wore to the january 5th 2021 stop the steel rally

wearing a stolen scarf to stop the steel rally burberry at this time this deal stolen burberry to be that's one of the gayest things you could do. Also just to be famous enough for like someone to be like, I'm his old roommate. And that scarf he was wearing at the most recent was actually my scarf. So this is, so the, he's so iconic. The person that outed him as a former drag queen,

it has the blurriest picture to prove it. It's so, the picture is like it looks like they are in a blizzard that's how yeah it's like speckled this there's a lot of blizzards that's like perfectly clear there's a new picture there's videos yes the perfectly clear one is amazing eric uh my friend eric schwartz who said something really funny about it where he was like i feel like the real joke with ge with George Santos is that it's AOC in a fat suit. Is he even that fat?

It kind of does look like AOC in a fat suit. But anyways, the person who outed him with these pictures, the person who started this avalanche is named ula it's e e ula it's some kind of fucked up brazilian name i have no idea ulises santos ulises santos was never a professional track performer but did it for fun and enjoyed messing up quote he did not have what it takes to be a professional george just did not have the glamour for that bodied oh my god absolutely red to filth oh my god i want to i want to find this woman we should try to interview this woman oh absolutely i wonder i wonder how many she's probably getting so many requests for interviews good for her Good for her, queen.

Get your bag. Period. Let me see if I can find her page. We talked to her and we're like, do you want to come on the most independently sourced news site of all time? We are so off the fringe posting stories that no one has heard yet. Her name is Eula Rorard.

Rorard. Let's see. Yeah, of course I know her. The famous drag queen. Yeah, no, we go to Goodwill, the same Goodwill on Sundays at the same time. So I always see her in the checkout line. Let's see if I can find her profile.

Well, we can do this off off yeah yeah yeah um george santos yeah george santos if if you're out there brother we support you come on the pod we hope you continue to do more please keep telling lies um mama tea hot and you knew exactly what i meant by that and i've never been more scared i've been in my entire life of him muttering out the most chaotic gay jumble of high world group like that just okay what i was trying to say that's yeah it was like me trying to read Highland Griffith it's okay it's alright it's alright we got it

we already tried I hope George Santos ends up on RuPaul a show I will never watch but I feel like his once you fuck up this much and you're it's this funny you're gonna have a job no matter what I mean I'm sure that also like

the way he's lying he's he's probably gonna be indicted for something pretty soon i guess you can go to jail like i'm sure there's like there was a whole section that i kind of skimmed over on his wikipedia that was like campaign finance like problem i'm sure he has committed so much yeah fraud city yeah oh my god he is such a fucking king i love him all right guys um that is it this is a free episode you can find one or two uh bonus episodes a week um on our patreon so you can do answers.com um you follow us on twitter on instagram just search on tiktok we've got a t a TikTok are you TikTok-ing again? I am making videos currently and I am releasing them currently

so if you just look on our TikTok page Jock is making TikToks and got someone to do the belt that's it thank you all for listening and

thank you everyone see you soon muah muah See you soon. We love. Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. Come with me, love Come dance with me in London Bash Come dance with me in Lumbinbash Come dance with me in Lumbinbash Life is just swinging in Kinshasa Life is just swinging in Kinshasa

Go to the shores of Lake Malawi Go to the shores of Lake Malawi.