Seeking Derangements - SD 210 - Listener Questions

Episode Date: March 4, 2023

Today we answer a handful of listener questions. Most of your boyfriends are gay sorry to tell you that now but if he listens to this show its kind of over for you. Also, I reveal Jacques subconscious to him and he has a shocking physical reaction. Subscribe to us on Patreon for one (oftentimes two) bonus episodes per week!

and welcome hello i'm jock and i'm very sore from my bbl i'm here with hassan bin thoughts hey guys well if you if you had a bbl you wouldn't be sitting right now yeah you would not be sitting a while after maybe he's standing how long do you have to be off your ass like like two months or something that's why those bitches fly back on their knees they do not fly back on their knees jack you got to turn your body peaking like crazy just a tad don't scream directly into the mic yeah that sounds better Jack I have a little

look as your as your boss your manager your handler your translator your therapist your scary mommy your translator and as your best friend forever most importantly

I think we all know I have a pretty unique insight unfortunately as to how your brain functions I've been thinking a little bit recently about you and a new thing you've been doing a lot and I have a little theory please don't get mad at me

it's just a theory I'm already mad and I could very well be wrong I just have a question that I got to ask you because it's really been burning a hole in my fucking brain it's really been yeah I'm related to George Santos

burning a hole not that I have a little i have to go through a little backstory here so when kanye happened right when kanye spiraled and all of this happened you have a thing where there's celebrities that are you know particularly like enmeshed in controversy or they're getting a lot of attention. You have a thing where you kind of start to mirror them in some ways. Like when Kanye was getting a lot of attention and I've never done a lot of trouble. You,

you know, that was a bit quick. You were a bit quick with that. It wasn't really. Those photos are doctored. I don't know what he's saying. That was my other boss, Benjamin Netanyahu, who did that.

That was me. If you're all wondering why Jacques is sounding very exasperated, it's because he just took a dab hit. He took a giant dab hit. That was not a dab hit. Anyways, I've got a question I've got to ask you. So you have this pattern of kind of mirroring celebrities or public figures when they get a lot of attention,

specifically when they are getting a lot of controversy, right? When Kanye happened, you started wearing a lot of like Yeezy stuff. You started buying a lot of Yeezy stuff and kind of dressing like that. Right? Would you say that's true? I think that's a misunderstanding. I am tempted by things that I'm told I'm not allowed to like.

I think I know where you're going with this, Ben. So recently, after the yeezy stuff kind of... I mean, you were wearing black leather gloves with giant black leather boots and an all black outfit. Way before the Nazi stuff. I know that.

I just, I don't, I really hope the listener will understand what I'm trying to say. Jock, I don't know if you're fully there. I'm not understanding it. I'm mad, but keep going. So recently I would, I've noticed that you've switched and again I just want to say that I think you look amazing. I love all the fashion choices

you make. Genuinely. I think you look really cute and really sexy. Recently you've started wearing a lot of monochrome outfits. Can you explain the shift to monochrome and specifically like the colors at play

well okay let me break it down for you i've been wearing frozen or am i frozen you're not even on video frozen i don't even know why you're you're fine keep going jack keep going she's madonna frozen okay anyway so this is the deal um i've been wearing monochromatic all black outfits since i was like in eighth grade if you go but colors colors um well your recent shift towards monochromatic color outfits that has been going on for a month it has more to do with my Crocs obsession than I think. So I've been addicted to buying Crocs. I've put

all of my extra money in Crocs. I wish I was joking. Every little dollar that I have instead of an extra $100 for food, that's an extra $100 for Crocs. Instead of a 401k, instead of a savings account. I don't have any savings. If you're listening out there, I have savings. I don't think any savings. If you're listening out there,

I don't think any of us have savings. It's completely fine, Jacques. Ben does. It's okay. Oh, my God. I got waxed. Ow. Anyway, so I had to wash.

Jacques is in a wax studio right now and getting a bikini wax just for the listeners at home. No, no, no. The dabs dripped off of my uh pipe onto my foot hair and are now ripping off my foot hair to the clean it's kind of like free but anyway so i had to switch to monochromatic because i kept buying these monochromatic colored croc boots they're called the croc mega crush boot i'm i'm obsessed with them and i will have

them all in every color they look like fake bottega how many colors do you have so currently i have a green one green grass which you wear with an all green outfit yeah i have uh black and i have a pair of bone coming in which is an off-white tan color so which is kind of like a candy this i'm gonna give you a little heads up march it's all about tan and beige i'm wearing monochromatic i'm wearing beige monochromatic well that might throw a wrench in this theory but i don't know oh yeah that's my theory so i mean okay you also do a lot of all yellow you love an all red on all orange you know i've seen you in a lot of kind of primary color alt j all um monochromatic outfits and i was thinking about how you have a lot of, you get stuck in kind of like emulation loops

with certain controversial cultural figures. Kanye was one, but I was thinking about this pattern of yours. And I'm wondering if you are, I'm wondering if you are. I'm wondering if you're mirroring the M&M's. The candies. Are you an M&M? Because they were having a lot of controversy

and they were getting a lot of attention. Do you want to be an M&M? I feel like I'm being deeply psychically abused right now. I saw you wearing all green and red and yellow outfits right after the M&M's got on. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I'm going to throw up. I can't. I know.

I was worried I was going to break his brain. Give me the bucket. Give me the bucket quick. I was going to break his brain with this one. Oh, God. But, Chaka, I think that's what it is. I think you're emulating the M&M's. Hold on for a second.

Subconsciously. Subconsciously emulating the M&M because you're jealous of this folks candies you know what you know what I'm actually very okay with this news this is all fine I'm not upset do you think I'm right I don't I don't maybe I don't know it might be striking a little bit of a personal nerve might be a little M&M

look just let me just please put the torch away from your head please get it away from your face I just need to drink some of the gas to feel normal again. Please do not. The M&M's don't do that. The green M&M never put a

butane torch in her mouth. Psych. Psych. You thought you were going to fool me? No. I actually am not scared of becoming an M&M. It's not really what I was saying. No, it's exactly what you were saying. And now the snot is coming out of my nose

and I need to blow it. Okay. Oh, ew. Oh, my God. What happened? Oh, my God. Well, no, Hessa, I was scared to tell him about this M&M thing

because it tracks. And I've asked multiple friends of ours. I'm like, guys, I think Jock is emulating the M&Ms because he's jealous of them. And they were like, this is kind of too much, Ben. You can't tell him this because I doubt he even knows what he's doing.

And I was like, I know. I'm like, I don't think he knows what he's doing. Look, I'm really sorry. It's okay, Jock. And I was like, if I tell him this, he might It's gone. It's his brain leaking out of his nose because I broke it. It's his brain. Yeah. Y'all, I look like the Cynthia doll from Rugrats.

With this hair. You look like a Cynthia doll from Rugrats. I'm so broken. I'm a broken doll from Toy Story. What do you think of my M&M theory? Because I think it's spot on. What do I think about it? I think it's a little scary.

Yeah. I'm not really down to be immersed in this world. So you are scared. Yes, I'm constantly scared around you both. I reign him. Ben is pulling his imaginary horn on his 18-wheeler. I'm so happy. I thought I was crazy.

Because I was like, I think one of my best friends is emulating the M&Ms because he's jealous. You listening to this guy? He looked at my life and he thought he might be crazy. Are you fucking stupid? You looked at your life and then you looked at mine

and you thought... You think it's possible. I want to move on from it, but I just... You think it's possible, right? Do I? I don't even... You want to be the Eminem?

I'm in a blind rage right now. If you call me Eminem one more time tonight, I'm going to have a full-on meltdown. I want to say that I think... I don't look anything like him. As I already said, the outfits... I don't have anything to do with the artist. He doesn't even wear monochrome.

The outfits are good. I think you look... Why are you comparing me to Eminem? I'm not the real Slim Shady. I will not stand up. You're doing one of these classic little misunderstanding bits. A nice little swap. Yeah, nice.

Wife swap tonight. I want to... Jock, will you send me some pictures of you in the monochromatic outfits? Because I want to post them as proof. Because it is very... It's giving Eminem. Okay, I'll... Can I say another reason?

Yeah. It's because I also bought a Telfar purse in yellow and I bought a Telfar purse in green and I had to have green and yellow outfits to match. You really love the most monochromatic outfit I've seen you wear is the green one and the green

one is the most popular Eminem and she's sexy and you are a sexy woman. I think there's levels to it but... Don't psych yourself out. Don't think too hard about it because I don't want to ruin your... Literally look at my haircut. I look like there's

a Hiroshima victim. I don't even know why. I think the Rugrats is spot on. Okay, guys. I've got a handful of questions for us here. I don't know if you've seen people on Twitter kind of giving us all a throwback to high school with like Curious Cat stuff

where they're like, ask me anonymous questions. Tesla, what's Twitter? What's Twitter? On this app called NGL, which stands for not gonna lie which as a phrase i fucking hate i used to do those question things but then someone sent me my address that happened twice and i was like okay i think i'm done yeah that's scary you don't think that's your friends i doubt it i don't know any friends besides maybe ben that would do that well ben last night ben did try sending me my door of my apartment middle of the night that is so fucked up but got the wrong door well it was me i could have done

i could have done the thing where i sent it to you I'm so scared from a Google voice number that you don't have safe to give I would know immediately I'm so happy I don't live in New York sometimes I'm psychically tormented it's actually kind of fucked up because if you were being stalked or if any of my friends were being stalked

and harassed they would just be like oh oh, it's Ben. Yeah. He's doing a great bit. Yeah. And then they'd die and it'd be my fault and I'd feel really bad about it. But yeah, NGL, not going to lie. As a phrase, I'm kind of like,

okay, so you're a liar all the time. That's the insinuation, right? Yeah. You suck. But people are doing this. Gay guys are loving it. It's funny because they always post it with like, I'm so bored.

I'm so bored. I'm going to do it and be like, I'm not bored at all. Give me questions. I'm not even a little bored. It's fine, just ask for attention. I'm busy. I'm so busy questions I'm not even a little just just ask for attention I'm busy I'm so busy so busy I'm so busy ask me questions

I won't be able to answer then you don't answer any of them look at them but I did it from our podcast account and did a probably even more annoying thing where I was like,

we're going to answer this podcast. But we got some good ones. You guys want to hear them? Duh. I've been waiting all night. How do we feel? We feel good?

Yeah, I stayed up all night for this. I'm so ready. You stayed up all night for this? Yeah, I literally was so excited. I have one question before we start.

Is that okay? Just for you specifically. Chocolate or peanut? Peanut butter or caramel? I think there's a pretzel one now. No comment. He said no comment. No one will know what's inside

i actually hate you both and why what did i do no i'm just kidding i people love the eminem i don't want to be i want to be a human you are a human and i don't think you're going to become an eminem it's okay so one of one of the first question was something that someone kind of memed at us. It was a question that was on Twitter for a while. But regardless, it's still a funny one. If scientists made a moral fact detector and it said that gay people were bad, would that change your views on the morality of homosexuality?

That's so stupid. You're telling me some quack gets a big beeping machine and presses a button and it says like, oh, it says being gay is bad. And I'm supposed to believe i'm supposed to believe them you know what they lied to us about the vaccine okay they lied to us about vaccines okay they lied to us about um vaccine you know the movie dark water

dark waters by todd todd haynes they lied to us about um you. They lied to us about you know they lied to us about vaccines. Stop. I'm so glad that's all of them. Get a grip. The way I imagine this moral fact detector working

is the same way that like a metal detector works. If you like wave it if you like wave it around a gay guy it starts beeping really fast and then you know that gay guys are bad well that just detects gayness i feel like if it works like that i think what they mean is a moral factor sounds like not a gay moral fact has so you don't think that gay people can have bad morals? I think they can.

Are you kidding? I think it's about the gay people themselves. I don't know. It seems like you're putting gay people at a certain level. Jock, what do you think? I think this person is obviously like... What do I think? I'm not going to be fucking with a switch

that detects homos because i i've heard this question before but it's always it's usually framed as jesus comes down from heaven and it's like really no someone said that to you before yeah yeah someone's like jesus comes down from heaven and is like look i'm not back yet but uh gay people are evil they are all going to hell if they continue to be gay and then he leaves and they're like would you still be gay and i'm like because my feelings on homosexuality don't really matter i don't think it's more like down from heaven and yells at me for personally i would stop being i would stop being gay i probably would in that case too. But if there's a dumb metal detector,

what's going to happen? Yeah, who cares? I'm like, okay, I guess I'm not gay anymore. And then I die and I'm miserable. This is how you know an MF gay. Only God. Only if the proof of God exists. Yeah.

Whatever philosophy... Only if the proof of God exists. Yeah. Whatever philosophy... Whatever philosophy students submitted this question should go to hell themselves. I don't think it's a philosophy student, but I understand how you could be confused there. Alright, next question. Jeffrey's son?

Jeffrey's son? Or Ellen daughter. Ellen daughter in fucking heartbeat. Is that even me? Are you kidding me? It's okay, John. Jeffrey star. Would you rather have a son who is Jeffrey star

or a daughter who is Ellen DeGeneres? Ellen daughter, hands down, immediate answer. I would pay millions for an ellen daughter i literally an ellen daughter so bad i hate him but i feel like i could raise him better so oh my god jeffrey star raising jeffrey star to be a better god the antichrist yeah literally this is gonna be the best opportunity for me to be what if jeffree star was cajun and lost 60 iq points what if jeffree star had a neglectful parent i hate y'all y'all are making me have to be the best No, I would I would go Ellen daughter

in a second because she's honorable. That's an honorable daughter. That's immensely successful. You know what? And that's a funny daughter. Ellen is one of

the great comedians of our time. Is Ben serious right here? She's honorable. Ellen is one of the great comedians of our time it's been serious right here of course I'm being serious she's honorable she would bring honor to the family great honorable Ellen truly

as a father whatever Ellen daughter wins you don't think the influence power is better on jeffrey let's just ignore it next i don't understand okay you don't think the influence power is better like something that like carl rove would say about the iraq war you don't think the the influence power actually if you look at the influence power of

Donald there are no knowns there are no influence power of a seven year old Jeffrey star versus a seven year old Ellen literally all right

please have Marianne on the pod the next person says who's that who's you would love to have marianne are you kidding i would love to have marianne marianne okay jock i actually want to i don't we haven't talked about this we mentioned marianne recently last time and then you talked about you said you hated her. You were a hater. Irvin, who you should respect. I don't want to get back into Irvin, but I do want to kind of probe as to why you fucking hate Marianne Williamson, who I get not liking her, but I don't know why you have vitriolic distrust.

Gay people have spent too much time to me talking about her as if I already love Her and I have I guess that's Spent time and studied her and I'm like I could Care less I really could care less I Don't want to listen to anything you Hate her by the virtue that gay people You know like her which is I think a totally fair

Reason to everyone in our friend group And there's a Group chat that me and Ben are in called the New Testament and all those and I'm not in it I'm not invited different people what the hell

do you have to be there for it's on mute on my phone because it's mostly Jock screaming but I don't participate in much sorry Jock Ben you should get a job with Marianne I would really love to i don't think williamson yeah yes yeah she's kind of annoying i think she wants to solve the world with love that that's annoying that dumb bitch no do you find it do you find it like sanctimonious or like you know too like virtually she has been like oversold to me

to the point where i'm like i hate her on the fact that so it's just like she's like a drag queen to you i think composite 15 separate hours of my life has been spent absorbing information about her against my will and i feel like i just need to move on it's like the uh i find her be annoying like aoc is okay um i said i understand horrible sounding no no i was just neutral it's makes it's one of the more cogent things you've said today so i appreciate that um marianne should be on the pod. Marianne, I would love to work with her. I don't know if she'd hire me.

I think she should. It could be a kind of like Jesus healing. It could be kind of like a Jesus healing a leper kind of moment for her where she's like, remember this hateful, spiteful gay guy? He loves everyone now. yeah um redemption i've formed a completely new opinion on her and i think that she could really help ben really calm down and really get get get to know how to love people um and so yeah he should work for them and i actually support her because i support the girl because she is gonna make them softer that's all right um

let's see do it be gripping mamas i i'm in no comment on that one i don't know what that means yes yeah yes it's just just a yes or no please don't know what that means. Yes. It's just a yes or no. Please don't explain, John. So tight. I can't afford the Patreon. You're literally abandoning the proletariat. Get a fucking job. Not my problem. It's $5. You probably live with your parents. Steal it from your mom's wallet.

If you could go... Questions annihilated. Suck of the week. if you could go if you could go question annihilated suck of the week it's listen we got here seeking the rage beds MC sucker of the week

Jock loves when we do that he gets so excited when we do that what's this username it's I don't think it's anonymous we already got it I get so excited when we do that. I get so excited. What's this username? I don't think it's anonymous. It's anonymous. It's okay. We already got it. We're coming for you.

Let's not, you know, curb stuff. Yeah, I think we're done. Do you think Dilbert is circumcised? Well, I think yes. Dilbert is one of the most circumcised people in the world. I think he barely has a dick. I think he's a botched circumcision. I think he's a botched circumcision. I think he's a botched circumcision.

I think Dilbert has a perfectly pristine circumcision. Really? I think it's botched. I think Dilbert has the most fucked up cock you've ever seen. He's a bunch of skin bridges, as they call it. I think the heat was coming down on the priest that weekend he touched the wrong kid and uh he was doing the circumcision he was sweating and uh he was drunk he was on the under the he was off the wagon you know he was you know and he was burping up and

you know shaking room spinning tried to get just cut off like the whole head I don't think there's any head at all I think it looks like a the worm from do not yeah yeah yeah I was trying to think over the question don't scream into the mic

how much how much of one piece is Hessa watching a day and why in parentheses, is she okay? I second this. This is a very loaded question.

As I was transcribing these, I was reading them back to myself in either a really, really bitchy voice in my head or like a really horny voice this was a bitchy one how much One Piece has to watch a day and why

is she okay I second well spoilers spoilers for One Piece I just got to a very sad part where my favorite character died they i'm sorry it's making me emotional just thinking about but i'll be strong i'm sorry but basically um i've been watching a lot of it every day me and me and amber are obsessed with it and watch it and text each other about it all day.

Ben, just for yesterday, an episode title called, was like, this is the beginning. And it was like season 17. Episode 487. Is that real? Episode 487. Yeah, no, Ben, there are over. Can you just start watching this like last month? Yeah, well well two months ago

yeah Ben there are over there are over 17 seasons and so I feel like that in itself is a addiction well you are an addiction you have no leg to stand on

I don't know you You should be thrown. I actually have beautiful legs, Hessa, so I really wouldn't come for my legs. If you can see right now. I did. Okay. I'm seeing them. I'm getting the full picture. They're lovely. Okay. Well, Hessa, this person wants to know why.

Why? I don't know. It's Amber's fault. This is a three-part question how much is she watching a day why is she okay amber tricked me into watching it and now i can't stop okay so am i okay are you okay i'm throwing amber yeah i don't even think ben understands how one piece is usually a symptom of a larger problem.

Well, this is, I didn't, I didn't make this question. Well, Hey, I think, I think one piece is fantastic.

I love the adventures of my beautiful friends on the high seas. I love seeing my crew of Luffy, Usopp, Zorro, Nami, you know, Tony, Tony Chopper, Brooke, Nico Robin. Who are you?

Frankie. I'm literally about to throw up. I'm kind of a Nami. I'm kind of Nami, I think. Just the worst. But I've also got a little Luffy in me. You just decided that now, I can tell.

No, no, no, no, no. Because my roommate, my roommate Damien used to be obsessed with it and I was like, no. And the roommate before that, Thomas, was obsessed with it. No. Sounds like you're the problem here. Oh, really? Does it? Yeah, this is very much everyone

in my life is incredibly toxic, but me is the only one. Which I feel like all the time. I say that to myself constantly, Jock. So I'm with you. All right. Let's move on. Let's see.

What did you give up for Lent? Nothing. I refuse to give up anything. Did you guys give up anything? No. No. Jock would never give up anything. But I'm keeping it say that again i thought about giving up strange but i'm keeping it why are you talking like an old black

you mean pussy i'm not gonna give it up poontang i've never heard anyone who hasn't done like 12 years in federal prison called pussy. Strange. No comment. Let's see here. What do you dislike about yourself? No comment.

I'm not answering that one. Oh, I got a huge list, but the biggest one is the balding. I'm pissed. That would be so got a huge list, but the biggest one is the balding. I'm pissed. That would be so beautiful if I didn't have to wear a hat. I'm going to have to wear a hat to a wedding. Well, you love accessorizing. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise. What's a fancy hat?

Question for Jock. A top hat? A top hat? You could wear a top hat. You could give founding father. I'm already wearing my sister is getting married yes mama my sister is getting married she wants me to wear

a colorful tux because she's wearing a sequin dress or something I don't know and I'm gonna be wearing a lilac suit and I don't know if I can imagine a lilac top hat I can imagine easily if I can imagine a lilac top hat. I can imagine it easily.

I'm actually rotating one in my mind. It's actually a pretty easy thing to imagine. I'm actually rotating 30. What's a fancier hat that's not a top hat? A tricorn hat? Like George Washington?

I don't know what that even looks like. That was too many words for him right now. I'm't know what that even looks like. That was too many words for him right now. I'm like, what the hell? Oh, guys, look at this one. Will Ben date me, please? I'm 23, 6'6", and a tattoo apprentice, and in love with him.

I'm sorry, sir. I'm hoping, sir. I'm 5'5", and I don't think that. You I'm 5'5 and I don't think that you're not 5'5 I'm 5'5 and 110 pounds and I don't think that I'm 5'5 and 110 pounds and I don't shut up

but I don't think that we will have people would think you're grooming me because I look so young I'm sorry but no and I also don young. I'm sorry, but no. You love that. I also don't care about the tattoo apprentice thing. No offense.

I'm sure that's a great job for you. Damn. Ben, fine. I'm truly more power to you. You should know that Ben doesn't really care about that. Extra, extra, big turds down tattoo apprentice. Let's move on. Okay.

Let's see, let's see, let's see. What do I do? Oh, God. Jock, this one's also for you. You're going to scream. Should I open another bin? So brace yourself um what do i do in louisiana i just moved to baton rouge for work and i'm pretty bored

i would say get the hell out of baton rouge yeah first of all your first step is to get out of baton rouge is the worst part of uh louisiana i would think that north louisiana could be worse or some of the outskirts. North Louisiana. Baton Rouge is like a hellhole of its own that can... It's like a never-ending hell. It gets hotter every year

with the flames of burning eternity and the devil's laugh gets louder. I'm looking at pictures of it. It looks pretty shitty. It is a fucked up place. I'm sorry you have to live there. I would tell you to find a place to move elsewhere in Louisiana.

It is somehow the capital of Louisiana and simultaneously the capital of hell. The capital building is so scary. It's like the only building that's taller than it is. It is a terrifying building. The famous politician, the Kingfisher, was shot at the top.

What? Oh, my God. You cannot just drop. Yeah. That's where Irvin shot the Kingfisher in 1889. It was crazy. At the top of the building. That's where Irvin shot the Kingfisher in 1889. It was crazy. At the top of the building.

Right at the top of Town Square. Who the fuck is Kingfisher? Kingfisher? Is that a guy Kingfish? Is it Kingfish? You're not on to the Kingfisher. Hold on, hold on, hold on. On September 10th, 1935, in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, Huey Long was gunned down.

He was nicknamed the King Fish, and he was an American politician who served as the 40th governor of Louisiana from 1928 to 1932. He was crazy, had mob ties. He was wild. He was crazy. He was wild.

I'm sure you're in a picture I'm looking at we're all googling him it's okay I'm seeing a painting of his assassination that building is horrifying they say it was an inside job FBI I don't believe it he was the

he was the RFK of Cajuns. Literally. He was the JFK. To the listener, though, how would you... I mean, do you have any advice for them besides, you know, don't go to the Capitol building? Pack heat. Okay, buy a gun?

I didn't say buy a gun. Yeah, pack heat. Pack heat. I'm sorry, yeah. Don't buy a gun? I didn't say buy a gun. Pack heat. Pack heat. I'm sorry, yeah. Don't buy a gun. Have a weapon that's a gun, preferably a MAC-10. Probably good for Baton Rouge. I don't know.

Just fuck Baton Rouge, dude. Literally, I remember. Find a way to get out of there often. It's not far from New Orleans. Go to New Orleans. Go to Lafayette. Lafayette is beautiful. Look, people rant

and rave about how dangerous New Orleans is. There's an active serial killer in New Orleans right now. In Baton Rouge. Is there really? Yes, there's an active serial killer. This is insane. It's on I-10. I was talking. He's not deemed a serial killer

yet, but I will. Jock will you don't know about this? no I'm freaking well you don't drive so you're fine but there is a stretch of I-10 which goes through New Orleans and there have been upwards of 10 people who have been shot

while driving their cars by another driver like on the highway and they've died and a lot of the people in New Orleans are saying this is clearly like an active serial killer because it's happening in this very I'm scared

it's not even coming up in the news it's a contained stretch of the highway and it's all you know the same where is this information coming from i'll send you some videos talk talk to chris about it chris and i were talking chris was telling me all this stuff anyways louisiana is an insane place to live i think baton rouge is probably the you know the worst part of it um let's keep let's keep moving here um i heard about a crazy shooting in

lafayette last night too y. Yikes, it's getting bad. Yeah, I mean, it's getting insane everywhere. Anyway, this is what you should do. This is what you should do. If you're in Baton Rouge, there's a place called TJ McRibs or something like that. I swear to God, this place has got the best... TJ McRibs or something like that. Wait, wait.

Ribs Baton Rouge. Ribs Baton Rouge. Ribs Baton Rouge is actually called. I just looked it up. I've got the next question. Jock, we don't need to talk about a rib restaurant. Okay. Yeah, it's TJ Ribs. Sorry.

Okay, go to TJ Ribs, listener. Tell them you know Jock and that you will avenge Kingfisher and they will call the cops on you. I'm a bi guy and my girlfriend is low-key horny to see me make out with other guys weird or hot it feels like that's a you thing that's you have that's something you have to decide i feel like i don't know yeah also like i mean why not both it can be

weird and hot i think oftentimes oftentimes lethals are. One of my friends caught her boyfriend cheating on her with a guy and then for the next two weeks she kept filming him having sex with the guy. Like, consensually. Oh, so he knew that she was doing that? Yeah, they broke up. Sorry, so she caught her boyfriend

hooking up with another guy. this guy by openly no not openly and okay so she's she caught her straight boyfriend fucking another guy and then she was like okay i should start making porn of them yes yeah that was okay queen with their with their consent with their consent and i was like is this kind of fucked up for you to do since you're y'all are broken up and she was like i don't know i think this is a good way to get over if everyone's if everyone's consenting and they're all in the same you know was it for like only fans or no this is long before OnlyFans. These people were... So this was just before the internet. This was back in the 80s. This is a personal collection of gay porn that she was producing.

Yeah, I guess so. Whoa. I would say your girlfriend... First of all, low-key horny. If your girlfriend is trying to get you to make out with another guy, I don't think that's really low-key. She just wanted to seize you. She's horny. You girlfriend is trying to get you to make out with another guy I don't think that's really low-key she just want to seize you she's horny

you should just fuck him you shouldn't just make out with him you should fuck a guy in front of her you should have a bisexual threesome yeah she probably wants to have a three-way man man woman she's probably trying to do it she's probably trying to do it MMF

who's your closest friend on your basketball team? This is for the question. Oh, okay. He's not here. Yeah, think about that. That's who you should ask for the three seconds when I was leaving. We all know you play basketball.

Okay, it's very clear. And think about one of the guys that you want to fuck there um well you said he's bisexual so the likelihood is so hard to have a bi boyfriend as a girl really that's the hard thing for you you're like oh i think having a bisexual boyfriend as a girl would be very difficult because you know how horny gay guys are for bi guys no i is that really not i don't think so because i never i don't they don't get really yeah i just get laughed at okay well i think i guess i'm thinking more like by skater not queer doe by why weird i am a bi-skater.

What the fuck do you mean? Bi-skater. Bi. Never mind. Never mind. This is going to be a fight. I just really sympathize with this girl. And I think maybe she just feels anxious.

Corny. And she's like, well, maybe my anxiety will be quelled if i just see it you know if i just see him kiss a guy maybe she's just like yaoi or whatever it would suck man i would not i would i would rather kill myself my boyfriend yeah okay well i've done it before it's not that bad honestly break up with her final advice oh no i'm just kidding stay with her love leave her leave her horny ass it does never let her see you kiss another gay man never let her see you do it fuck a guy in front of her

but never never let your eyesight out of her no i think i think we call this one I think we call this one for the boys let's blue ball this bitch yeah tell her no tell her no and then almost get get a really hot guy over and just you know get so close like you're about to kiss but don't kiss

flirt get a really effeminate guy yeah get a tw effeminate guy yeah and just be rubbing his back all the time you know ask him sweetie they're not here we can't ask him ask ask his little twink to show him your abs like all of that do all that never kiss him what's their name drive your girlfriend insane i don't know what's their ad. I don't know. Let's see. Let's get another one here. Will Hessa date me? I'm 6'7 and have tattoos and I'm in love with her.

So I feel like this guy is lying. I feel like this is kind of... The same guy that hit me up. I would like to say that this guy is one inch taller than the guy who hit you up. So I'm kind of winning right now but well mine's a tattoo apprentice

and this guy just merely has tattoos so what if he's like really hot like I don't know if you're a monog he says he's in love with you you're monog I have a girlfriend he has a girlfriend is that monog

he's competing oh my god I have a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend, Jock. Is that Manag? He's computing. Oh my god. Look, all I'm asking is, are you not open to a 6'7 person? Because I feel like you're wasting. That's too tall. It's unfair. I don't think it's too tall.

I think it's unfair that you have people that are 6'7 hitting you up and you're just brushing it off your shoulder like it's not important. I would need to see a picture. I'm not jealous. I'm just upset because I don't have anyone that's 6'7 hitting up. So yeah, I'm not jealous. I'm just a little... I just wish it was me

and I'm a little bit upset about it. I feel myself getting hot and I'm angry. I don't know why. Shut up, man. You ain't nothing but a city slicker. Son of a gun. I'm going to start trying to soothe you like a baby. That's what you want.

Try not to say things that upset me. Try to talk about TJ Ribs more often. TJ Ribs. This is another great politician. It's on South Acadian. I was apparently killed by the CIA. It's on South Acadian 3-Way.

What are you talking about? I don't care about the fuck. No, TJ Ramsey, Baton Rouge. It is 234 South Acadian 3-Way, Baton Rouge, Louisiana 7050. Still, such a long sidebar and the address address we still don't even know it

because you tried to say it three times and couldn't what happened to episodes 190 to 199 what what do you mean what happened to the next question they're posted and yeah they're there shut the fuck up um they're right there they're right there they're in the highest tier you have to buy the highest they're in the they're in the i don't know if we could say that legally but yeah look into my gun chamber related they also they're not they can't see us also um let's see we're not connected related to related to that you guys ever had to scrap an episode and whose fault was it so definitely

a lot of times we had to because of Max he would constantly that never happened we can answer this question honestly I think our listeners deserve transparency we have had to scrap one episode it was recent a lot of gas it was pretty recent and it was actually the fault

of uh the romani it was it was tesla yeah no it was the fault of the romani people and that's all we're going to say it was neither me or ben it was also jock it was neither me or ben but let's just say it was kind of a case of jock versus romani people but that is all we are going to say it was no no we did not our flock of ducks were not big enough to um get enough quacks there were not enough quacks in the wall i have to edit that episode it's ridiculous we tried we tried to it's emotional blackmail it's not i'm not gonna i'm not gonna we tried to edit that episode but one of the dogs the ducks died from exhaustion people yeah trying to quack so we decided to just scrap it um ben have you ever touched a pussy oh my god yes i have um visual is so gross that's not very nice Ben how old are you

oh my god also very I am 37 Ben how old are you Ben is that a horny voice or bitchy voice for you Ben wait did you turn 36 or 37 this is a string of questions that were all submitted in succession

and for my well-being I read them in a horny voice yeah This is a string of questions that were all submitted in succession. And for my well-being, I read them in a horny voice. Yeah. Ben, have you ever touched a pussy? Ben, how old are you? I'm 36. Ben, I love you. I'm a mentally unstable girl, though.

So don't let that go to your head. Ben, are you still single? Oh, my God. So I think this is a crazy girl who wants to fuck me um you're 36 year old ass yeah i know who the person which unfortunately i um seem to only attract mentally unstable women sexually speaking um do you know who that is i no that's one of our former roommates she had an ankle bracelet on how do you know who this is because she's talked about being deeply i don't think she is sending us anonymous questions through our Twitter I do well she was a beautiful girl this straight girl is horny for you

if it's her she's beautiful and I love her she's a queen and I'd probably marry her but yeah the stream of questions was pretty hateful I will say that it's okay I won't let it go to my head I'm still hateful I don't think there was anything really hateful. I will say that. It's okay. I won't let it go to my head.

I'm still single because... I don't think there was anything really hateful. Are you drunk? Maybe. That's why I'm single. I take it personally. Decide things are hateful. I'm just a lot to deal with. I'm kind of crazy.

Oh, you're in love with me? What do you mean by that? Not like the other gays. He's so crazy. I love him. I love him. You're harassing your friend, sending them pictures of themselves from like across the street.

Like, I see you, bitch. He's so crazy. I love him. Yeah, I don't know. Probably has something to do with my mental health. I don't know. I feel like if I was straight, I could be like a Salman Rushdie type.

Like a really sexy wife. Jewish? Is he Jewish? Salman Rushdie's not Jewish. Are you stupid? Is he Jewish? Some of us are not Jewish. Are you stupid? Is he? Are you drunk? I think he is, right? He defected from Islam, but I don't think that man is Jewish.

Man, are you stupid? Regardless, yeah, I could be Jewish as well. I'm just trying to say I think I could punch above my weight. No, he's not. Why did I think he was Jewish? You're not Jewish? Because he hates Islam. Question for Jock.

Can entropy be reversed? God. Wait, can what be reversed? So Jock, I want you to take a two minute break. Hessa and I will keep going with this. Google entropy and read up about it and then decide if it's something that can be reversed. Hessa and I will answer a few more questions.

Does that sound good to you, Hessa? Yeah, that sounds good. I want Jock to, you know, I want to give him a fighting chance at this question. Let's see. Y'all are too NYC. Come hang in LA. No.

I'm afraid of planes. What asshole asked me this question I don't get it just keep reading think about it for a second please just maybe take your headphones off so you can focus okay he's not going to listen to me

are tops under 5'8 a myth wait can you repeat that one are tops under 5'8 a myth um okay wait can i please answer because i actually have a understanding of this after reading okay yes

please is can entropy be reversed shock in a closed system entropy cannot be reversed will therefore move towards high entropy as changes between events develop um entropy will will undoubtedly fall due to statistical likelihood in the very short future but this is highly uncommon. And that is my full answer. Wow. Fuck you, you stupid, mindless fuck.

You can never outrace me on the motorbike. Yee, yee, yee. You can never outrace me on the motorbike. You can never outrace me on the motorbike. That is my brain. I'll roller skate better than this asshole. My mental motorbike. Give me his mailing'll roller skate better than this asshole my mental motorbike give me give me his mailing address so i can i jock i don't there are anonymous questions

and none of the people are in the room with us can you stop taking the biggest fucking dab of your life every time you record it makes it very difficult to talk to you i'm not it's not even about the dabs it's about jock jock how is crabs going jock how is crabs going and they do not mean the food they mean it's over pubic lice as i've said before the the the the terrible things i under you are lying spitting and sputtering like an old car right now you liar i'm not lying about anything what do you mean i'm lying let's jocks how's the crap how's the craps going um my body is decimated from chemical burns i already said this millions of times i look like

a barbie everything's been burned off chemically it's i have i i don't even have an asshole anymore i had to burn that off it all is gone i will never have sex again well okay next question sorry that happened to you i ain't reading all that sorry that happened to you congratulations yeah or fuck you um what music are you listening to lately I will listen to literally anything this person says I want to do a music episode with Jock

but Jock was giving me grief about it we'll figure it out I've been listening to It's a Rap by Mariah Carey the sped up version that's available on iTunes on her It's a Rap EP it's they, the sped up version that's available on iTunes on her It's a Rap EP. It's the official sped up version of the song. Mariah Carey paid Jock two pennies for that plug.

Thank you, Mariah. And then I've also been listening to the Somoku Hodo EP by Hakushui Hazagawa. And the song that I like from it is Doku. It's from 2018. It is great. And my final music recommendation is Abysma by Geotic, the 2017 album.

It's just airy and flowy. That's what I have sex to. I'm kidding. I am having sex actually after being chemically burned. I am just hurt. My body is not doing well from it and I feel like I'm developing other diseases.

I'm getting I feel like I am I feel like my body is broken. I love that you're turning a question what music are you listening to lately into an excuse to talk about how your asshole is in fact not burnt off of your body.

Well I don't have to... I have been listening to... The last thing I listened to was the Too Many DJs BBC Essential Mix from Christmas Time, and it was so good. Who was on that?

And I recommend that. Too Many DJs. It's soul wax. Oh, cool. Yeah, that sounds cool. You should, we'll add the link. I have been listening to a lot of Aventura recently. I know that's probably very embarrassing for me to say, but I love their music.

Who? Say it louder. Bachata music, Aventura. Aventura. Spill the tea on your first kiss. Oh, this is so sweet. Oh, taking me back to memory lane. Street walking down memory lane with Jack Gonsolin. I think my first kiss was at ski club with my first girlfriend, I think.

My first gay kiss ever. I was living in Corpus Christi, Texas, but someone flew me out to come to prom with a girl. And then when I went to the prom, I saw this guy that I had a crush on, and we ended up talking. And then we went to the prom after party, which was in the middle of the bayou. And they had a three-story complex

in the middle of it with an elevator and then just a bunch of little buildings and then we went to the top and shot Kingfisher in the head shut up we were laying next to the bayou and the moon was really bright out and we made out and that was my

first gay kiss that's beautiful a girl made me kiss her when I was walking home one time in like the third grade that was my first kiss kiss oh it's beautiful a girl made me kiss her when i was walking home one time in like the third grade that was my first kiss i remember and it was very traumatizing to me her name was hannah and i she canceled that trick but i think she works at a gas station now or something um that the the one i met no no i don't i know i don't know her anymore um not that hannah i that's a friend of mine um let's see here um hi guys i just wanted to say that people with no legs and no arms are much more common in the uk because the anti-nausea drug thyladomide thyladomide um this is a reference to our

exclusive interview with a one of sam smith's victims who was victimized by sam smith because they um said the word nugget um they said i would never want to be a nugget if i was a nugget i would kill myself etc and i looked this up and it actually is true um this anti-nausea drug uh pregnant women were taking it and they would have um oh this is so horrible birds um and sometimes the kids be surviving they wouldn't have arms or legs so sam smith you have an apology to make to that community ma'am sounds like david cronenberg body horror islam in or out we've been saying it islam is in i don't think it's ever going to go out um it's a beautiful and it's time to say that shahada all of you um oh this one I'm already upset

is it unethical to engage in consensual r-word play with a partner if they say it is part of their healing process post sa I unfortunately read this r-word as I thought it was a different r-word too initially yeah

retard oh that's what I thought and I was like, you need to really... I don't... I don't care. Two consenting adults in a bedroom, I don't care. Not my business. Do whatever you want. Your fault if it goes the wrong way.

Let's see. What's your regular drink order? My regular drink order? Ton drink order tonic water no liquor bitch don't lie I saw you drink 27 coke and bitters that's your regular order I'm just saying what I've been getting of recently in the last week

there was when we were in New Orleans I left Jock because he stepped in a puddle and had an autistic freak out he's been really mean after he stepped in a puddle and we went to this bar and it kind of sucked i was soaking wet it was cold i was like okay um i'm gonna go meet my friend and i fell into a puddle. You stepped into a puddle. No comment.

Okay. I was shot in the face, Ben. And so I went to meet my friend. I was like, okay, well, I hope you feel better. Your shoe's going to be fine. You can just wash your shoe. And you were hearing none of it. You were really distressed. So I went and met my friend. friend was this like rave in the french quarter it was really sick

and then my friend was like oh i'm gonna go to phoenix bar which is a gay bar um near where jock and i were and i was like oh okay maybe i'll come meet you there and then i'm at this rave for like another hour and then i go to the Phoenix to meet my friend and walk in and guess who I who do I see at the bar drinking coke and bitter bitters jock and I'm like bitch I thought you went home what are you doing you had been there alone for like four hours not alone bartender hit me with another coke and bitter I was hanging out with my friend Leland and we were just chatting it up Leland the dad from Twin Peaks me Leland and Arvin

cutting it up at the Phoenix drunk off coke and bitters I was as they say coked out Leland you're so crazy it's the guy the dad with white hair looking insane you're so funny you really get me i can't say anything to you leelan he really was funny

he really did get me i was evil man it was a fun time how do you make cool gay friends is there a way besides apps slash bars bars on bars on bars I don't know man I feel like apps and bars are a very easy way to do it

yeah you could I'll tell you the easiest way this is so easy you go to a mall with a bluetooth speaker you turn the speaker all the way up and you download on your iphone the the noise that when you refresh your grinder the bloop like! Like that someone's messaged you. And you play it as loud as possible. And anyone who turns around and looks at you... You know they're gay.

Is going to be like, hey, can I buy some meth? If you're in a mall, I think that's what's going to happen. In a mall! Bloop! Y'all, you just got to go to an abandoned building. Got any Tina?

Just start telling meth. Just play thank you next really loudly. Would you like to hang out? Any guy that reacts is going to come to my apartment and smoke meth. Smoke? You do the tea thing

but you just also say meth. I love the idea of, the joke we used to make all the time it's like capitalized nitty in meth want to smoke meth okay so i have a this is this is a perfect segue let's let's it's a perfect segue into how i got an advertisement that says do you party capital T Y tell us $260

tap to see if you're eligible for a new study yeah I looked that up the study doesn't it's not really worth doing the acronym is insane what's the acronym for that amethyst it's amethyst the acronym for this, and it stands

for... Jock, do you have it in front of you? No, I'm trying to pull out... I just thought it was a very insensitive acronym because amethyst is a crystal. What is meth? A crystal. And meth is also in it. Ameth-est. They are...

They put meth in it. They literally put meth in it. Oh my god. American Translational HIV Study. Yeah, amethyst. It's abbreviated to amethyst. Amethyst 5000. You guys, you know the Tina Gays are just frantically scrolling their phones,

but their brain locks on to amethyst because what's in the middle of it? Meth. They're kind of exploiting this group of people. I didn't think it was very fair, but kind of genius. Let's see. Do you think I could qualify to answer these questions

because I use a blowtorch and take dabs? I mean, it's worth a shot. Is that you? I think you could transfer to meth pretty easily, I think. I think you've already got the blowtorch thing. Jock did Adderall once when we were in New Orleans, and I loved him. Really?

Yeah. What was it like? He was so agreeable. He was so suggestible. No grief. He would do anything I told him to do he was funny it was amazing i think you need like a low dose adderall prescription yeah because i literally only take a crumb at a time no i know and you were spinning i only take

you're having so much fun you did a little song you literally did a song and dance for me and he started doing like tap dancing for us. It was really cute. Is that true? Yeah. You don't remember it because you were cracked out of your fucking mind. I was like, Broadway, Broadway. Yes, you literally did that.

That's what I love to say. Yeah. You went like Diane Keaton mode. Welcome to my house, you two. You are goofy and I hate you, too. Yeah, it was a lot of that. It was great. It was a great time.

I need that. We need an Adderall episode. Oh, my God. I got some. Let the listeners decide. Wait, should we... Next episode, we should all take Adderall. Ben, can you just...

I only have one left. I need to get a refill. I can give you some. I have some. I'll talk to someone, but I don't... What? You don't have any money to buy Adderall? Maybe not.

Just go to a doctor. Yeah, go to a doctor. Oh, God. Call Dr. Shane LaHood. He's not going to do that. Call Shane LaHood. I love Shane LaHood. I wish he was my doctor.

I'm so jealous you have Dr. Shane Wood. I was prescribed 60 milligrams of Adderall from first to eighth grade. I need to look up. Okay, for some reason I was googling Dr. Shane Wood recently. I don't know why. Leave him around. He was trying to figure out if he was hot.

He's handsome. I don't know what he looks like. Let me see him. He runs the express med walk-in medical center i wonder he looks handsome it's already it's something i've already looked up should i wear something i've already should i wear an auto filled should i wear a gopro into the office visit as a... Might be illegal.

I don't know. Yeah, I think that there might be legal problems. Just call them and tell them you're doing it for science. No, I'm just kidding. Hey, it's me. I've got some science to do. So he said we should do poppers. And it was our second date.

I'm a straight woman and I've never done them. Is he a keeper? No, that's crazy. That's a crazy thing to say. Second date? That's kind of weird. And you're straight? I don't think you deserve him.

Because if you can't accept him as a popper. Straight people are doing poppers on second date. I used to date this person, this girl, and we just did poppers the whole time when we watched Titanic, and it was the only way I liked that movie. That's a great movie. It's a horror movie. I hate poppers.

I fucking hate poppers. They give me a headache. They make me feel like I'm going to die. I love them. That's the only thing that made my vision bad and the addiction to hallucinogens, but mostly the poppers. I love them. Did they make your vision bad and the addiction to hallucinogens, but mostly the poppers. I love that.

Did that make your vision bad? Yes. Oh, my God. Like permanently? Yeah. It makes sense. That's the one thing that they can cause damage to.

I don't know if it's the one thing poppers can cause damage to. I don't know if it's... You say that's famously the one thing poppers can cause damage. I don't know if it's... That's famously the one thing they can cause damage to. That's something Dr. Shane LaHood said when he prescribed Jock Popper. He's trying to discredit my scientific knowledge.

Listen, Jock. Listen, Jock. Dr. Shane LaHood. The one thing poppers can do is affect your eyesight. I need you to take 20 grams a day. Y'all are retarded. Eat this one carrot

and do a whole bottle of poppers per day and cancel each other out. Y'all are retarded. Writing stay beautiful on the prescription pad and just handing it to you. Thanks, doctor. I love you.

Stay beautiful. Thanks, Dr. Lood. Is he a keeper? No. He's a faggot. He's gay. He's cheating on your ass with men. He's probably watching RuPaul every new episode

as soon as it comes out at a gay bar looking at other guys asses because he's horny for them the other day I walked into work and my co-worker was like Ben how you doing and I was like

I feel amazing and he was like oh he's like oh you watch RuPaul and I was like no what the fuck are you talking about and he was like oh that's like they say that on the show and I was like what and he was like oh he's like oh you watch rupaul and i was like no what the fuck you're talking about he was like oh that's like they say that on the show and i was like what and he was

like they say that i feel amazing and i was like i was like wow i'm so gay that i'm inadvertently subconsciously involuntarily hating it's like oh yeah he's watching it I'm like no I had no clue I was quoting it it was really really embarrassing for me but awkward what can you do guys you know

commit thoughts on Ozempic well we did record it I've done it before. It's good. Personally, I feel like if you're doing it, you are taking a vital medicine out of the hands of a

population. Ozempic. You don't know what it is? It's okay. A friend of mine has prescribed it right now, but she's diabetic. So it makes sense. Is she having trouble getting it? No.

Okay. I'm kidding. I don't care. Do whatever you want. But what do we think about all the housewives rumor? I'm just like, if you want to be skinny, you should have to suffer a little bit. I think Ozempic is a shortcut.

And I don't like that there's a lot on two separate real housewife women have come forward to say that ozempic is a major problem in the entire community and that people skip meals all the time of the housewives community is that is that hard well that's it's unsurprising that the real housewives community is that hard to understand it's unsurprising that the real housewives have eating disorders I'm just glad that they're getting the help they need in the form of a drug that makes it easier to have

an eating disorder thoughts on boy pussy in parenthesis AFAB I'm gonna throw this one to y'all hmm doc wait can you repeat the question yeah sorry I gotta on were you googling

were you reading more about entropy no I was looking at Dr. Shane LaHood I'm sorry I was looking at him online see if you can find him on sniffies what's up what's up oh I got a booking cancelled wait what kind of booking I'm just seeing if you can find them on Sniffies. What, Jacques? Oh, I got a booking canceled. Fuck them.

Wait, let's expose them. I'm just mad because they were like, sorry, I want you to book through this person because I don't want to step on their toes. I'm like, oh my God, come on. What do you mean? Your hair is so crazy right now. I know it's really crazy. Don't tell them, you look cute.

Y'all, I look like Cynthia from Rugrats it literally looks like I'm on fire the only person to naturally have Cynthia's haircut it doesn't look crazy if you took a still picture of this and just made my hair I'll post a video from when you said you look like Cynthia

it looks like the dirt cloud from Charlie Brown the next day yeah it looks like you have stink lines wafting off your bald head y'all are nothing but a bunch of fucking haters I knew that y'all were nothing but fucking haters in the way you've been

you asked you said what does it look like and I said it looks like you have stink lines Nothing but fucking haters in the way you've been looking at me. You asked. I'm answering your question. Tesla, stop. Close your eyes and laughing at me. You said, what does it look like? And I said, it looks like you have stink lines wafting off your head. Thoughts on boy pussy. Thoughts on boy pussy. Love. In parentheses, AFAB.

Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. We can't get enough. Give me some. We can't get enough of that boy pussy.

Hello. Give me, if you got some, come, if you got a hookup i'm going to the grocery store and you know what i'm filling my grocery cart with boy pussy whoa and we know i think feel like we have ben's answer ben is a hard no ben hates trans men next question i am uh no i am a trans man they don't talk about my community like that i was testing you guys to see how much you would objectify people like me and someone seems to think that we're just for sale at the grocery store not very humanizing jock jock please make more music and post it to vix i miss it what oh okay so what the fuck wait hold on hold on

um mixcloud has been free for the last six years that i've used it and i've uploaded over 300 i think maybe they mean 70 mixes no they're talking about mixcloud i cannot upload i see yeah i cannot upload to mixcloud right now unfortunately they do not accept venmo um debit cards which is my form of bank and oh my god um doc pulls out his pink venmo card all the time and i laugh hysterically because i'm like wait you bank with venmo and he's like i don't know it's a federally insured bank, Ben. It's a bank like any other. And I'm like, well, seems like you're living

like a Russian oligarch who's facing sanctions because you can't use mix.com. I am because y'all, I've posted over 370 mixes today and now I have, y'all, I have a mix. Well, email me a miss a mix you want to post i'll put it on patreon i had a really weird dream about a dream catcher and then i made a mix about it called dream catcher caught something and then i had a mix called sampler platter that was about appetizers and then i had a mix called spirit that was about uh how do you

make a mix about appetizers it's just like if you were serving appetizers and put that mix on it's the appetizer of songs that's like something they would do at like the peak of the British Empire where it's like

you have a song you corresponds with a specific time of the dining experience appetizer music um let's see you already talk about crabs um i hate the crabs i'm done speaking on the behalf of the crabs ben hessa and jock episodes are funnier than any pod that I know of. Jock, we're getting a compliment. I've gotten lightheaded laughing.

We'll subscribe to the patron when I'm up, but, but, Oh my God. We'll subscribe to the patron when I'm employed again. I earned it. Our listeners are broke as fuck. It's $5 y'all.

Either way, we, we, we, we love you and we appreciate your support you're very kind i earnestly think jock could help disaffected young men off the path to insult them by showing them just how far being outgoing can take you jock does that make sense to you? Thank you. I don't think I should be a mentor. Period. I don't either. I think you're self-reflective enough to know that you shouldn't be a mentor.

Jeffrey! Jeffrey! Bathroom door open. Jeffrey, you gotta go to the store and get some toilet paper right now. I'm not even kidding. Jeffrey Star Gonsolin. I think what this person is saying is completely true. I think, Jock, you could, you know, let's say, reroute a lot of young men who are um alienated by society who you know don't have

girlfriends who suck um and are lame you could show them that if they became gay and started roller skating and dressing like m&ms that they wouldn't have to shoot up their school and i think that period i'm genuinely saying that you um could be a point of inspiration so maybe think about you could start like a boot camp misunderstanding but should i be working in a jail for arrested youth and and trying to think it's going over your head i think you need someone you need to kind of manage this for you compliment doesn't seem to be working for you. It seems to be... I could find a lot of young incels. I just opened a Bing to try to understand that

because it was really a wraparound. Does Jock snore? No, I don't, actually. Well, how would you know? Because all of my partners have never said I have, and my partners always do snore and i will wake them up in the middle of their night and sometimes my ex would leave the house in the middle of the night because i would be like get up stop snoring it's like asking a toddler how the day was at school and they would leave the house in the middle of the night yeah this is the same guy that dumped me when i had covid um and i was in the hospital over

text message thanks for the xbox thanks for the xbox look you're gonna break up with me over text messages of course i'm gonna keep it you never asked for i mean that was the hits did not stop coming on that one break up with me over text messages? Of course I'm going to keep it. You never asked for that. I mean, the hits did not stop coming on that one. Broke up with you over text while you were in the hospital. And he had a girlfriend because my pussy wasn't good enough. Whoa. And it was his co-worker.

Punch after punch. He really twisted that knife on you. But the good news is that my friends send me pictures of him looking busted now and they said you really dodged something there nice nice nice

this is the one that well I'm not gonna say it you get really mad should this be your last one we've got sure we've been going for like an hour 20 this is the one that looks exactly like you no he doesn't look exactly like me he's larger than me and well i don't know what he looks like now but when you two were dating you were really cute because it was like oh

two little baby sea lions you were both you were cute together this couple got a paternity test They found Will shocking. It was Patrick too. Yeah, Patrick. This throuple got an opportunity test. Turns out they're brothers. Did you see that tweet on Twitter?

That just went through my nose. There is a tweet on Twitter that was like, y'all, my boyfriend and I just got a just got a DNA test and it turns out that we're brothers is that for real yeah and they're like smiling and they're like after a lot of working through it we decided to

tell everyone it's like bitch I wouldn't tell that to God if I got to heaven I wouldn't even like I wouldn't be able to look at him yeah how do you even meet how does that happen

because you're brothers grew up together you grew up together you took a DNA test oh my god it turns out being raised together by the same mother and father. I knew it was suspicious we have the same mom and dad.

What the fuck? Is this one of our listeners? No, John. No, no, no. Thoughts on... Let's see. I don't want to read this one because I hate... Well, we've already talked about them.

Thoughts on Sam Smith's perfect magazine I don't even know what this is but I'm tired of looking at that shapeless I thought that it was cool I think Sam Smith is you know thoroughly mediocre musician you know

but I think he is doing mediocre in a kind of really avant-garde way because I've never seen anyone be this unabashedly embarrassing before. And in some way, it's kind of freeing. Sam Smith is a blight to all non-binary people. And feels new and fresh in that way, is what I have to say about Sam Smith.

And I think that the Perfect Magazine cover... Have you seen that, Hessa? Did you see it? Yeah, of course. He looks like a honey-baked ham. He looks like a honey-baked ham. I thought it was... I thought it was...

kitschy and kind of cute and funny. And... Hey, hadn't seen... I think good for them. Hadn't seen something like it before um next question before jock uh declares yeah before did someone wrap this honey baked ham in some plastic cord cord and the gay guys kissing tattoo I don't see the the like toxic

like radioactive tattoo I don't see any stars I thought that's a fresh react to the perfect magazine cover from Jock fuck this shit man if I have to see this motherfucker one more time I'm gonna fucking flip out

last question we don't care we've talked about it way too much I can't I really can't If I have to see this motherfucker one more time, I'm going to fucking flip out. Last question. We don't care. We've talked about it way too much. I really can't consider him anymore. If you could go on one reality TV show, what would it be? Vanderpump,

probably. That is such a good answer. I literally begged every cast member of Vanderanderpump rules on their instagram dms to did anyone respond to you no but i i messaged every single one of the cast mates including lisa about replacing james kennedy when he got fired the second time i thought it would be like the perfect plot point they already had this to bring sorry to bring to bring you in yeah because they already had this insane person five why does that five years ago why does that make sense no offense i don't know but like because

i was a good dj and i wanted to be a part of the the the crew oh yeah he was a dj i forgot about that listen listen listen listen they had already hired billy this trans woman and i was like okay they're they're letting queer people in this is my perfect opportunity that while the doors open and i love that you think that's so funny this is like five years ago and i messaged every cast member and i was like gotta scramble to get on better job because i have a trans woman on now yo the gate's open it's so funny it's so funny because the trans woman she was on there for like half a season because she there was one party she didn't get invited to and then she accused every single cast member of being transphobic to her queen and um it's like you're forgettable it's pretty iconic i'm sure they i'm sure they were honestly i'm sure they are but like yeah that wasn't them being ginsphobic that's exactly

what you would have done jock you kidding me i think you would do anything different no it was iconic of her yeah it's it was sick um if i could go on any reality tv show i stupidly kind of was just like oh only, only competition contestant reality shows. I didn't think about Vanderpump. I would love to go on Vanderpump. Any of the Real Housewives, I would love to chop it up with those old crones. I thought Real Housewives would be very fun. I would love to talk with Sonia,

my doppelganger. Yes. I would love to. Sonia would be such an iconic pairing. Mia Dorinda. You're showing up to restaurants like, wow, which one is Sonia would be such an iconic pairing Mia Dorinda you're showing up to restaurants like wow which one is Sonia I wish Dorinda was my mentor you with a blonde wig

and like three pounds of makeup and just like telling everyone telling everyone that if they don't pretend I look exactly like Sonia I'll fire them I'll get them fired I line up with Dorinda the most I would be so good me and her together If they don't pretend I look exactly like Sonia, I'll fire them. I'll get them fired. I line up with Dorinda the most.

I would be so good being her together as a duo. I would love to interview Sonia and then mirror her movements back to her. Oh, my God. See if I could convince her she's looking in a mirror. You know who you would be perfect with? Oh, my God. You look so much like Tesla. I know. Isn't it crazy? You know who you'd be perfect with? Oh my god. You look so much like you. I know. Isn't it crazy?

You know who you'd be perfect with? Ew. You and Bethany. Jock is jealous that I look... Jock is now jealous that I look like Sonia Morgan. Bethany is my queen. I love her.

I love Bethany. I would hang out with Bethany. God, I'm looking at pictures of Sonia now too. Even when she's ugly, I look like her. Bethany's meth videos where she's like, her meth meals that she makes. Wait, what meth videos? What are you talking about?

Bethany is like on Instagram being like, okay, I'm going to show you what I make for food. What I do is I take a potato, and what I do is I cut the potato right down the middle like this. And what I do is I take these, and I put them into i cut the potato right down the middle like this and what i do is i take these and i put them into the blender and then i blend them up nice little puree and then you do and it's like always the dumbest meal she's trying there was a really funny tweet of her being on real housewives well i think she's got a lot going on she has an amazing show on hbo reality show becauseant show where it's just it's literally the apprentice

but it's bethany frankel whoa we should review that i would i watched it like two years ago i would love to watch it again we should watch it um but there's a there's a really funny tweet of bethany frankel cracked out of her little chihuahua skull just like vibrating in her attic trying on different foundations. This foundation is $35. And the only thing that's different about it is the branding. And I have a foundation here that's $3. And I put it on this side of my face and you can't even tell the difference.

In fact, this $3 foundation looks a lot better. That's what you're paying for. You're paying for branding. You're paying for marketing. And it doesn't make any difference. In fact, it's actually a hindrance to having good skin. And she's like talking a mile a minute for like 10 minutes and someone quote tweeted they were like i love this so much it's like byzantine researcher philosopher vibes in her tower doing little experiments

like king's wizard up in the tower doing alchemy trying to create gold telling the town's fault locked up in a tower doing experiments you're paying for the marketing are you ready to eat the most healthy version of a peanut noodle salad? Yeah, she's very peanut salad. It's so unhinged. It's too much. Skinny girl takes over your life.

And they rumor her to be on orzomibotepine or whatever it's called. I think we can call it there. Jock's brain is continuing to leak out of his nose. I'm getting sleepy. Letock's brain is continuing to leak out of his nose. I'm getting sleepy. Let's... You're going to bed?

Yeah. I'm getting sleepy. It's 3.45 p.m. I got up early. Let's play Fortnite. Do you want to play Fortnite? Yesterday at 7 p.m.? Yeah, let's play Fortnite.

I need to catalog some of this audio. You know what I do? Oh, my God. I'll take a break from work every time i'll play fortnight i delete fortnight from my xbox and then i will continue cataloging the audio um guys thank you for listening this was a paid one um you're paid so if you thank you for subscribing for subscribing we will be back later this week

or next week whenever and that's it no plugs I don't have any plugs I don't have any plugs either here we go follow us on Instagram I have a plug keep an eye out for a new project

coming oh my god I have a plug plug? keep an eye out for a new project coming yours truly oh my god this is gonna blow up I'm gonna have a reaction you probably will

jock oh jock will have a reaction oh god fuck alright bye everyone thank you so much for listening

bye muah Bye. Mwah. Thank you. Thank you.