Seeking Derangements - SD 240 - Yum Yum Yum Pa'Con

Episode Date: July 20, 2023

Sushi nom! We're here and scheming some cool sculpting for Jacques, get into an argument about fat people in Troye Silvans music video for RUSH (poppers reference for those of you who don't get it) and finally we overhear a secret meeting between Bad Bunny and Caitlyn Jenner.

hello everyone and welcome to Seeking Arrangements. This is Ben here. I'm your interesting co-host as always. What's up? And Jock, how are we doing today y'all? Fantastic. I am an amazing ball of light and joy. And what happiness I don't have is none. I'm only happy. Okay, I trust that. That sounds reliable.

Authentic. Before we get anywhere, Jock, I would like you to maybe... I want to show you something. Sure. But before we get to that, maybe we just get a brief health update. So the eyes are working. Particularly as it relates to the eyes. Yeah, people are worried about your eyes.

So the eyes are functioning fully right now i have no issues um i have never had an eye it seems like you're really on the up and up well no i'm still having a lot of health problems but um you know blood is coming out of some places that it shouldn't and that is always of concern um you know i don't think there are any places blood shouldn't technically be yeah blood should be inside mostly, I think. Is that a G.I. Joe shirt that you're wearing also? Oh, no, it's a company burger shirt. It's the logo is a ripoff.

It's the Kobu company burger. It's the ripoff of my old job. It's like a Fubu ripoff? Yeah, it's a G.I. Joe rip ripoff but i guess you can't hear that i guess you don't listen to trans women men you want to you want to maybe uh do something for the community no i don't i don't i don't do not that there's not a gotcha i do not listen to trans women oh wow well happily admit to that wow well you. Well, you're canceled. Jock, I have a video to show you.

I have a video to show you. Wait, I'm ready to see the video, but Jake just texted me and said that you're canceled and that I'm now Jake's best friend. So there's this video, Jock. I want you to tell me what you think is happening here. Just, yeah,

just tell me what you think is happening. I'm going to show you and you'll be able to hear it okay so here we go just any what's your initial read on that well i'm gonna admit that what's going on i've already seen this video and it's been blowing up a lot um i think it's perfectly normal like i didn't really i didn't i honestly saw it and i was immediately like oh it's just a woman acting normally in jock's in jock's mind yeah yeah i mean like i mean clearly she's a little bit creative and having fun with it. But the minute that I saw... Okay, so my initial reaction, because I can't give you the...

Seeing that video, I've already seen it. But my initial reaction was like, whoa, someone broke the sim. Like this sim's character, they put too many cheat codes and it's glitching now. It's one of those things that have it's one of those things that happens in like internet culture that is somehow weirder than your lived experience that i truly don't know how you're gonna react to it because it's either like something that's gonna make you really mad and confused or something that we'll just read as completely normal and almost unremarkable to you.

Yeah. It seems like it's the latter here. Yeah, I've seen it before. Not that I've seen on the internet. I've seen it in person. This is in person. Yeah, I feel like it's just like this girl learned how to capitalize on her whatever mental or physical illness.

It's like a half Tourette's, half schizophrenia type thing. Do you know what's actually happening in the video? Do you know why she's acting that way? It seems like you're... Okay, what's going on in the video? Well, first of all, I'm going to say that when I've seen this in regular life, I thought it was just a person expressing themselves. Didn't think it had anything to do with money

or it wasn't translation. Because it's a simple translation. There's symbols coming up on these fans. It's like a... What kind of chat is it on? Facebook? I think it's TikTok. So it's a TikTok live kind of chat is it on facebook i think it's a tiktok live so it's a tiktok live and when you you can like send people roses different symbols but every symbol she's

receiving which i assume that you have to pay for this response to a reaction it also corresponds to a payment this different symbol is a cost of you know she's getting paid yeah but she's saying gang gang gang gang every time she sees like one single symbol or she you know yeah yeah yeah yeah

okay you actually got it down I thought that that would be I thought that might give it some random oh wow everyone thought that you were gonna trip me up today would you be down to try that

if I if I send you some emojis right now in the group chat would you react to them yeah yeah I'd love to that's so amazing wow that's amazing yeah let's do that oh my god we should if I send you some emojis right now in the group chat, would you react to them? Yeah. I'd love to. That's so amazing.

Yeah, let's do that. Oh my god, we should... Wait, wait, wait. Jock, just get some... Just look at your phone. I'm just going to send you some emojis and give us some reactions. I have to put my microphone in my shirt so I can do it with the hand motion. Well, the audio ones are what matter most in the podcast. Let me just do this. Okay.

Bug! Bug! You have to send... Wait yeah yeah yeah yeah you have to good girl superstar shit money money money money money oh cry laugh no i'm not doing that emoji no why did you say no to her because i did i what that seemed inappropriate i would like appropriate it's just a black woman i yeah but i feel like why did you say no i said no because it's just an emoji about black hold on stop stop everyone needs to listen listen up for a second no no it seems rude to just say no no no no stop don't try to reframe i won't do it we can we can we can talk about it later no why can't i just talk about it now please stop stop we're gonna keep the bit going. Oh, my God. Jack, come on.

Wait, can you just listen to me? I want to do it. You have to speak through the emojis. I'm going to speak through the emojis, but I'm not looking at the screen for a second. Oh, my God. Just listen. You're not doing it right.

You need to send multiple of the same ones so that it. Okay. Look at your phone. Wait. No, I'm not looking at your phone. And then... Look at your phone. Wait, no, I'm not looking at... Wait, another rule is no races. I'm not trying to say... No races?

Okay, no races. Okay. Yes, no races. Okay, no races. No, because I'm... Well, look, that makes it no fun. That makes it no fun. I'm done with this bit.

Oh, you're ruining the... Oh, wait, I have one. Let me try it. I just don't want to do the Okay Jock, Jock look at your phone Krabby Krabby Krabby Krabby Krabby Krabby Krabby Krabby Krabby Krabby Krabby

Has a haircut Has a haircut Has a haircut Blonde lady Blonde lady Blonde lady No I'm not gonna say that you can't put something that why won't you say that because i can't i i'm not okay so ben is

first because you you know no no read standard chinese no because you won't read chinese because i don't know how to and then don't and then you send me up okay no no no no let me see and then you send me a... No, no, no. Let me see. No. Jew, Jew, Jew. Jew, Jew, Jew. Jew, Jew, Jew.

Wait, wait. Just so the viewers out there... Just so the viewers out there understand... I'll make it the episode art. This will be a amazing episode art. Ben is trying to get me to sit... There's a black emoticon of a man in a tuxedo suit and it was a woman who is a judge okay no no judge at robes okay I can't even black judge

you could have said you could have said you could have said what the supreme court should look like what the supreme court should look like what the supreme court should think that don't you said you're trying to trick me you're trying to trick me and i won't be tricked i am not a trick anymore look back at your phone can you look at your phone again okay send new ones and they don't be racially or religiously motivated sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh stop it you skipped I don't wait no

you skipped some I'm not okay so there are stars of David and Israel flags look at your phone that's not how it works

that's not how this game works you have to say you have to act like an AI bot okay I sent you some new ones just don't send

racial ones AI doesn't understand race or religion. I'm looking at it. I'm looking at it. Aeroplane. I sent you some new.

Aeroplane. Aeroplane. 9-11. Emergency. Emergency. Emergency. I'm not going to say it because I don't translate these or these trying to get me to see bit is trying to get me to say something that's the emoji offensive or so uh sonia sotomayor i don't

i hate i hate this part can we just uh just send one so that i can actually say say okay what is that okay i can't i don't even know i'm not gonna he's literally putting up a black muslim woman and i'm not i don't i didn't even know there was an emoticon okay oh oh so you're mad there's an emoticon for a no no no no no, I'm mad that you're trying to exploit black Muslim women to make a joke out of them. And I'm not going to make a joke out of them. Making a joke out of you, for the record. I'm not going to be Islamophobic. I'm not going to be against black people.

You could just say As-salamu alaykum. Could be amazing. As-salamu alaykum. As-salamu alaykum. Mashallah. Aluhakbar. Aluhakbar. As-salamu alaykum As-salamu alaykum Mashallah Don't speak Chinese Spanish, Arab Muslim

I'm sorry, I speak English and that's the only language I speak and I'm not going to try to say other languages We speak English here We speak English here Go I'm not... No! We speak English here. We speak English here. Go back home. Go back home. Go back home. Okay, okay. Go back to where you came from. Go back to where you came from.

Go back to where you came from. Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon!

Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon!

Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon!

Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon!

Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon!

Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon!

Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! Balloon! I'm a racist AI TikTok live streamer. I'm a racist AI TikTok live streamer. I'm a racist AI TikTok live streamer. I'm a racist AI TikTok live streamer. I'm a racist AI TikTok live streamer. I'm a racist AI. I'm a racist AI. That's a good one. Racist AI TikTok live streamer. 1488? I want y'all to give me a final round of them, but please don't throw in ones that y'all know I can't say. Okay, sorry. We'll make sure to make it not funny. Thank you. I promise to make it not funny.

You're welcome. No, I didn't say don't make it funny. It could be funny. Scientist, scientist, scientist. Scientist, scientist, scientist. Scientist, scientist, scientist. Rainbow,

rainbow. I give up. All genders. All genders. Four people. All genders all four people genders four people no jock that's two dads that's two dads and two sons gay family gay family i can't i can't even under i can't even read okay um so i don't know if the eyes are back i think is what we're discovering in our sight test here those eyes might not be well i'm trying okay um no it's okay jog it's okay for non-blondes for non-blondes for non-blondes okay there you go believe that's the gay family still um all right let's move on

let's move on jock i do think i do think that you've got a future yeah we should we should do a live stream of us just doing this yeah yeah but you know what they they make a lot of money from this they make like four thousand dollars they make like five or six million dollars yeah no no no yeah um that i was gonna say four to five thousand dollars a second i heard that it's like jeff bezos numbers i heard that that girl that we watched the video of makes two hundred thousand dollars something yeah two hundred thousand dollars a stream which i'm like whoa yeah that's pretty crazy i think it's i think it's an hour i think she's like she makes she has like a gdp that that's higher than half the world. What's GDP?

Balloon! Gross domestic product. Balloon! Ice cream's so good. Balloon! The video where she breaks character and then goes like, she's yelling at someone. Yells at her son. Balloon! I didn't see that.

Can you imagine if that's what your mom did for work I'll send it to you after I can't reach my bing I'm sad you can stand up and grab your bing jacket it's okay I've seen a couple of her break a couple of videos of her breaking character

one was to yell at her son and the other one was to yell at her son and the other one was to yell at her dog who wouldn't who wouldn't stop barking another one i saw was when one where she yells at people from montreal for not for not donating to her stream for being fake for being fake yeah she was she was like what people from montreal are bitter and they don't fucking love they don't fuck with me. I love Canadians. We got a lot of Canadian listeners. She's French-Canadian, Jock.

She speaks French or Quebecois or whatever. Getting a little Quebecois. It's become very apparent that we have a lot of listeners in Vancouver, Montreal, and Toronto. We should be bigger than Drake.

How do you know that? L drink lately i shipped packages to vancouver and our i shipped packages to this weekend from the auction what addresses buy shirts for me they were there was people from toronto and montreal getting stuff y'all someone from lips in portugal bought one of the things from the uh from the auction isn't it yeah it's our listeners it's our listeners who I've got I keep whenever I like message them or we're talking about this live I always like want to talk

to them about how likely it would be to get a Tiago Lady Betty or Jose Costello Bronco on their show oh my god I love her in Portugal

we have to get them I didn't want to stay up on their offer to go deep dive on them for anybody who doesn't know who we're talking about we are talking about a clique of New York City's finest elites. They are headed by the Dawn Diva.

Her name is Lady Betty Grafstein. And she is a kind of... She is a... Imagine if Joan Rivers didn't die and was still alive and she was shaped like a croissant and she had such bad dementia that she could barely speak anymore yeah and was in head to toe chanel um and just like a brooch that weighs more than like six like bricks of gold like more than the fairy yes yes and so she there's a lady bet lady lady betty grafstein um who is a the don diva of this trio and she is a uh british diamond heiress and it turns out that she was the first woman to um design jewelry for uh cartier um and so she was living a fabulous life um i believe in portugal

because she like escaped during world war ii or something i'm not entirely sure but what happened when she was living in Portugal, she met a husband who, she pronounces his name as Josie, but I would pronounce it as Jose. I don't know how it's supposed to be pronounced. I don't know what Portuguese people are doing. I think she's trying to kind of get him to transition. Feminize.

By calling, yeah. Yeah. Feminizing it. It's a good favor to him. Yeah. And I'm going to throw out a little theory about these people. I assumed i saw i saw something on the internet reference that the jose transitioned so this is at the request lady betty has a uh husband uh many years i believe you've been married for like over 30 years oh i didn't know that jose because yes they've been married for like over 30 years. Oh, I didn't know that. Yes, they've been married to a very long time. Named Jose Castelo Branco. And when they married,

Jose or Josie was a kind of just seemingly kind of just like run-of-the-mill dandy. And now is a just full-out woman to be completely honest. Yeah, it just is a woman. It's just a female. Also, I think it's Jose in Portugal. In Portuguese, it's just a female also i think it's jose in um portugal

jose it's jose yeah and by the way i full respect full respect for her i love her i'm not saying amazing and tiago even better tiago's beautiful do they have a gay yeah they have a gay named tiago acevedo who's also who looks like handsome Squidward. He is genuinely one of the best posters of all time. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even being hyperbolic. You need to follow all three of these people on Instagram. I genuinely love his artwork.

His artwork is so dysphoria. It's so incredible. What's Thiago's last name? I couldn't hear that. Acevedovedo oh i'm never going to go acevedo we have to get briefed by our portuguese listener get ready for the call lady betty seems to shun tiago yeah lady betty thinks i think lady betty believes tiago is a bad influencer she must a cloud chaser yeah yeah yeah a cloud chaser after the the diamond heiress

anyways we will maybe do a deep dive on these people um if we can't get them on in the meantime i would encourage all of you to follow jose castello bronco on instagram lady betty grafstein on instagram and their gay art just search on tiktok for eggs in the Birkin. There is a video where they are returning from the grocery store together where Lady Betty is in her... Lady Betty has eggs in her Birkin. Yeah. No, no, it's hilarious. They are on the way home from the grocery store

and Jose is barely carrying everything. And poor Lady Betty is it's whole like motorized little like what do you call those she looks like a dog she looks like a dog toy yeah like lady betty is so she's in this motorized scooter 10 years old yeah she's in this motorized scooter and there's just like all this fucking shit on top of her and around her. Lady Betty, you have eggs in your bucket. Oh, Lady Betty. And Jose is always making these videos of Lady Betty while she's fucking comatose. And Jose is just literally, it seems, it feels like Jose is menacing her, but Jose is just an eccentric.

And, you know, this is how they love this. There's love language. But Jose goes, every video is just, Lady Betty, Lady Betty looking so fine today. It's fucking insane. Anyways, anyways, if there's one benefit of our podcasting career, it would be interviewing them. Yeah, that's our white whale. Truly. Yeah, that's our white getting truly yeah that's our white whale but back to getting like sponsorships i think it'd be fun to interview money

i'm making money in the way that you know um a pinky doll does balloon balloon our thing with being podcasters is really more in like you know selling products yeah reviewing products we're not like i if i could do one i'd really like to i tweeted at them trying to get a sponsorship from them it's my my mushroom coffee brand called new roast and it's so good i'm i'm no i'm not even kidding it feels like i tweeted them and i was like hey new roast i love your coffee i've been telling everyone it makes it makes me feel like i'm on yeah we'll see they're definitely never gonna literally it feels like taking it out or although i'm joking they are never gonna sponsor me to begin with but i mean that would be my one sponsorship dream is unlimited coffee

jock you wanted to get cool sculpting i wanted to get cool sculpting and honestly um i think i look perfect the way i am but i really just want to fit into these shirts that i just bought where do you want to get the sculpting done my stomach but i really like on your honestly i i i'm not even joking and i'd save this for the podcast because as a surprise but um i was actually looking into lipo recently um what i do not need liposuction no no no but like genuinely and yeah so yeah so first of all don't die but no i know i first of all of course the first it would admit you're my daughter i would become the insane if you died ben would be possessed by your spirit but you died because i would have been like i should have never put jock on he

i gave i i drove him to get that liposuction that in that alleyway that killed him. Look, y'all, again, I am perfectly fine with my body. I just own the most beautiful clothes that I cannot wear. I have a Marc Jacobs heaven. Can you get them expanded? Okay. Is he joking with me right now? No, it's a real question. I feel like I'm about to smack him over the camera.

Maybe you changed the clothes and not your body. If it was only that simple then But how Imagine how many Imagine how many clothes I'm gonna have to alter Versus altering just one body That's a good point But I don't wanna

That's so true Also listeners let me know If you think Many medium shirts to fit in Listeners let me know if I would be ugly suddenly to you if I was suddenly skinny around the stomach. I just want to fit...

A lot of gay guys love... They love a belly. People love your belly. Yes, and I like that, but also I used to be a double zero. Do you know what I could fit into anything? How much dick and pussy were you getting when you be a double zero do you know what i could fit into how much dick were you getting how much dick and pussy were you getting when you're a double zero not as much but i don't

care but look exactly listen listen listen listen okay like i've got a medium 2004 avril laveen shirt i don't mean to be a bitch i don't mean to be a bitch, but when were you a double zero? When I was 17 and 18, bitch. Because girl, I used to weigh 10 pounds when I was a baby. That's when I went to rehab for seven months and jailed for three and a half weeks. Back to back.

You were a double zero so long ago that it's not really attainable. I think Jacques has the right to get cool sculpting. I think that everyone's body should be their own and they should have the right to do what they will do without wills yeah you know i just i just have you looked have you lipos of lipos crazy that's like a that's like yeah that is a lot invasive surgery do not get liposuction okay well, honestly, no doctor, again, no offense, no doctor's clinic for lipo.

You have way too many health problems. I saw, I was looking at deals across the US and there was this one where it was like $500. Oh my god. For liposuction? Surgery is not something

you want a deal on but just listen listen look i just like my xl shirts would still look good on me meanwhile like the things that are like like i have the small shirts that are just so tiny that make me look like they make me look like that yeah but you know what i look like have have you ever seen the king of the hill episode where the what's the fat ugly neighbor with the bald i've never watched bill dotreve yes but when bill dotreve starts working at the fancy salon with he's pretending to be gay to work at the salon with Luann. That's what you think you look like?

Honestly, it sounds incredibly accurate. When I wear a small shirt, yes. He wears a tiny shirt. My stomach sticks out. Again, I like my body and stuff, but even like... I think we should move on from this topic. You're rolling and stuck in a loop here.

I just want to fit into my deftones shirt okay that's it i'll stop cool sculpting i was gonna ask you about the mark jacobs deftones shirt if that's what you were talking about yes i did get the mark jacobs heaven collection deftones uh reagan baseball shirt jack cool sculpting i think you could get and i have an idea for you here it's not as dangerous it's not as dangerous no it's not as dangerous because they just they just like freezes the fat okay but you know all of these places especially in new orleans new orleans is a huge any place where the crime right crime rate is high they love to have like questionable medical practices beauty clinics where they do before and after videos like on instagram and

stuff and a lot of those people who get the before and afters you know they consent to have their body filmed and put up as promotion i guarantee you they're getting that procedure for free if not heavily heavily discounted so i think we could we could pitch the cool sculpting to a clinic yeah let me give it let me give it a try yeah dear cold sculpting clinic of new orleans where where's where's one near you dear uptown clinic of cold sculptors new orleans i've got a body i've got a i've got a body that i love but i got i want a body that can fit in things i got a a body that I love, but I want a body that I like. Let me find...

Again, I'm... I've got a place. I'm going to write an email for him right now. Everyone listening, I want everyone to know that I want... I'm so down with how my body has turned out. I'm stuck with it. We know, Jock. We know.

But I just want to fit in the damn Deftone shirt. I bought a double xl shirt recently so i could feel comfortable you didn't fit into a double xl no i fit into the damn double xl i'm just saying like i was like is that the problem also people just make t-shirts if i buy a shirt that's right let's write let's write an email to this cool sculpting. Hello. Hello. I won't include the clinic name.

I think you should start assertively. What do you want to say to him? Listen up. I think you should start it the same way. Hands up. Here you go. Hands in the fucking air. From the mouth of a queer.

Listen up, y'all. From the desk of queer. Okay. You want to open that one? From the desk of a queer in Uptown. This is your neighbor friend, Jacques Gonsolin, offering my influencer services in order

to promote your business into success beyond you could ever imagine okay what i am offering today i can't type this is a full-on deal of a lifetime. Full-on deal. I am... Of a lifetime. If your clinic specialized in remaking junkers, I'm the junkiest junk of the junkers. I'm a beaten down beater. I'm a broken shell.

I'm not a two-seater. I am... Okay. uh i'm i'm a broken shell i'm not a two-seater i am okay i am a broken shell of a person but that and i have but that gives you a lot of room to work with shirt oh sorry yeah yeah why don't we say that gives why don't we say that gives you a triple XL canvas. Okay, I can work with that. Yeah. Okay. Look, you imagine how... XXXL canvas. If I am...

They're definitely going to know what that means. I, besides... Okay, wait. I have a stroke. Should I backspace all of that? Why don't you get this hottie... Why don't you cool this hottie down? And then winky emoji. Cool this hottie down? And then winky emoji.

Cool this hottie down? Y'all, what I'm saying is put my ass on the Instagram. I could easily...

How much... What do you think his transformation will look like? How many pounds are we showing? Probably like 200. Okay, that's I wouldn't weigh anything. I'm losing this fucking bit. Exactly. I'm going to lose 200 pounds and by the way

I weigh 205. Y'all are going gonna whittle me down to four pounds it's like a horror movie when they suck the everything out of the body that's just left with the skin yeah yeah and it'll be god damn amazing for your business i business. I just got what's happening now. To do that to someone. Y'all are trying to kill me. No. And make it public. You don't want me to get lipo because you know it's safer.

And make it public on all of your social media. Oh my God. I can never trust y'all. It's called promotion. I knew y'all were going to use this cold scoping. How are they going to contact you? How do you want them to contact you? Y'all were going to use this cold scoping. How are they going to contact you? How do you want them to contact you? My phone number is 337-296-

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. He loves doing this. He's doing this on Instagram live. I do. I like getting calls from people. I hope you... Well, Jack, do what I do instead of Google Voice. Yeah. Who doesn't love getting calls? No, I want to calls from people. I hope you... Well, Jack, do what I do instead of Google Voice Number.

Yeah, set up a... Who doesn't love getting... No, I want to be contacted directly. When you get another stalker or you get another person trying to murder you, don't call me expecting me to care. Because that's going to be your fault. You're going to have to call Ben's Google Voice Number. I'll just get a second...

I'll just get a seeking arrangement anything else you want to yeah yes like the obama phone anything else you want to say to this plastic surgery clinic who is receiving this email from you you have the opportunity to make me beautiful and you have one hour to respond say, you have my permission to die. Shh, shh, shh. You have one hour to respond or else. No, that's not what I said. Now I don't even remember.

No, oh my God. Shoot. I can't. You change it. You're not even, stop. You're not even using a typewriter. You can delete it.

Don't tell me to calm down. Don't make these little hand signals for me to calm down I'm never going to be calm god I'm going to drink some I'm trying to help you you're always trying to help me which is disguised for you to assassinate me let's just put it on the table

do you think that's a little paranoid do you think that's maybe a schizophrenic paranoid rambling first of that maybe it's schizophrenic, paranoid rambling? Okay, first of all, I'm not schizophrenic. And so stop calling me schizophrenic. Don't ever call me schizophrenic again, bitch. Paranoid. You're pale.

I'm not schizophrenic. Okay. You're not schizophrenic. You are pale. Why would Company Burger use the G.I. Joe logo and not the Cobra logo? Because Cobra is so close to cobra you know why are you bad guys i don't know i i i think gi joe the company that owns gi joe should should send us send the deceased to kobu and then i'll have a surplus of these. Send a deceased. Yes, they should send a dead person to their office. No, they should send them a cadaver.

I used to work for a business called Yardbird and they got a cease and desist by a casino company in Las Vegas to change the name of their business, even though they're in Denver. Oh my god. Wow. Unrelated businesses. Jock, if you were skinny enough.

You know, you could do. I think something better. Fit through a doggy door? Benefit, yes. Benefit you more than fitting into one shirt. A better reason to get liposuction than fitting into one shirt. You could have been. you missed your shot but you could have been casted in the new choice of

on music video yeah his new hit single rush soap in stores now which is also the name of a poppers brand if you didn't know I don't trust this I don't I don't trust this massage motherfucker he's got some evil intentions

not I really why what makes you think he's everyone massage I don't trust this Mossad motherfucker. He's got some evil intentions. What makes you think he's Mossad? You know, someone can just make bad music without being a part of an international conspiracy. He's a Zionist. This is already established. This is a way

How? Walk me through how. I'll just Google Troyroy don't google it do not google it do not do not google it do not go you tell me go on sniffies you're saying that you're saying that with the utmost confidence that you know troy savannah's a national is is is ian so i'd really love to know why you know that to be a fact without you having to google it because i literally just remember the to him saying he supports israel you remembered so i i know i no no i remember him specifically also i've had it broken down to me it's like him liz who did the song sunscreen produced by sophie the like hyper pop star is also a big fucking zionist it's like okay we

get it you're it's like a pop star with this like secret agenda to get people into israel whether it's their fellow artist because it's like liz you have Liz and Troye Sivan were trying to convince more people to play in Tel Aviv sure and that is like don't perform in Tel Aviv yeah yeah yeah

it's just it's been a thing you say a lot of stuff that I don't think you have the full kind of the information so what information do you two think you've got

well I've seen the Rush music video and those twinks their bodies are so skinny that I know it's so wrong that I know it's right you know what I mean the way those twinks bodies move it's so wrong that I know it's right you know what I mean the way those twinks bodies move it's so wrong that I know it's right okay

I thought I thought it was like I thought it was like totally fine it's kind of like at some point I think you just realize that there are gay men who are still 22 and you are 28 and it's okay to not.

It's okay to not. Gay men, they do this thing where whenever there's gay media, whether it be song, music, movies, whatever, they assume that they're the target demo of it because they're gay. They assume that they're the target demo of it because they're gay, you know? But it's like there are so many different targeted demographics within gay. And it's like, you're a 32-year-old who lives in Greenpoint or whatever. Rush isn't for you. You're not supposed to like it.

Yeah, but he's making music for a 22-year-old gay man. He's making music for me. Because I watch that thing, and it's so wrong that i know it's right you know what i mean how do those bodies even work okay um i totally totally fine harmless and yeah stupid and a little bit corny but i you know for personal reasons will i've come around to thinking it's very important that we defend gay men's right to be incredibly publicly annoying and kind of corny yeah i don't know if we want to start it look once we start drawing lines i gay men can't be annoying yeah we're all where does it all done where does it end where does it end

I don't know I'll come in for you a further comment about Troye Sivan they've got to shut their mouth Troye Sivan was in the idol recently and he was kind of a bad guy in the idol

can you say his full name one more time in a very interesting way okay so he was kind of a bad guy in the idol wait can you say his full name one more time troy silvan in a very in very interesting way okay yeah okay so he was in the idol recently and there's a scene where he's getting like tortured with an electrocution collar until the point where he pisses himself and i kind of felt bad for him then but then i remembered that it was acting and i still don't trust him. That's a documentary. Also, 1999. No, it's not famously a documentary. Stop.

In 1999, the Charlie XCX song would be so much better if Troye Sivan hadn't been there. Yeah. Yeah. I have no opinion on that one. I barely remember that happening. I think that song is so wrong that it just has to be right you know what i mean uh wrong uh tiktok said wrong look no i'm just saying i'm saying yep

six days ago on tiktok the sexpert um is his name posted a video about the Troye Sivan video. And he said, hmm, this is a really, really cute video, erotic video, silly fun of queer people having a good time because there's no fat people around. This is how the TikTok immediately transforms into this critique. So, yeah. Yeah. There's not a single fat person in this video. Well, yeah. There's not a single fat person in this video. Well, how do you feel about that, Jock?

It pissed me off. There's not a fat person in the video that makes you mad? Yes, of course, Ben. I don't want to see skinny. Why? That's absurd. Because I don't want to see skinny people all the time. Look, you have, you literally we are at a place right now with like gay men that you

can have a fat gay sam smith and a skinny gay that should make everyone happy yeah but there's only skinny what about sam smith is literally a fat gay man making music he's in that video they am they i'm sorry he's in that video no he's not in that video but i'm saying he's in that video? No, he's not in that video. He's in that video, but he's so big that he's the earth. They blurred him out. They're dancing on his belly. Okay, okay, okay. No, it's a good one.

She's back now, y'all. Sam Smith deserves to be punched while they're down. Why are you coming after fat people like that, then? If you want fat people in No Hold on

At least one fat person in the room at all times Fat people do not want to be represented by Sam Smith So let's not put Sam Smith and fat people in the same category It seems like you'll never be happy Well I think that the Rush video is an ode to the twink body And I think that you know it's I mean you know what I'm gonna say I think that

he's a pedo and just made us shooting himself in the head you're gonna say he's a pedo I'm gonna say it's so wrong that it's that it's gotta be right you know oh okay I thought she was gonna go with her classic accusation of

him being a pedophile but never mind um i've never heard hessa called i've actually never heard anyone called choice on a pedophile no i've heard hessa call several people nowadays yeah that's why i was not not choice of on um i'll tell everyone he's not a pedophile that's what i think honestly thank you for taking that brave thank you for thank you for clearing the air yeah you know what i i want to be a little more sensitive that maybe my my my really mad are you really mad at the idea that there's not a single fat person in the twink music video yeah like like like i i okay like i do think that body positivity gets really

annoying after a certain while because there's people are sexy no matter what this like whatever with the body but also like you don't have to listen to lizzo all the time to be confident and like so what's your ideal fat person look like for this because you're not satisfied with sam smith it seems i, it seems. You vocally hate JVN. You've called him a blight on the indie community. JVN isn't really fat. No, yeah, first of all...

JVN is a fucking... Whoa, whoa, whoa. Those two sub-humans... JVN is fat. No, JVN is skinny fat. First of all... Let me clear the air. Tell us if JVN's fat or not. First of all jock let me clear the air let me tell us if jvn's fat well first of all they're they're subhuman so we're not gonna i'm not gonna classify them

this is like why i can't believe you would speak this about fat people if you think that they're so like jvn is barely fat sam smith is like fat enough but they're so annoying that they Sam Smith is so annoying and so fucking stupid that just by proximity and being the size he is

he makes all fat people look bad you know he's got a lot of proximity to him, folks. He's got a lot of big circumference there, too. But look, look, look. Again, in some way, we're all in very close

proximity to Sam Smith. I am only shaming Sam Smith's body and image and JVN's body and image based on their personalities. It has nothing to do with their weight. Everyone is the right weight. When I saw the Rush music video. Trying to triangulate your grievances.

Okay. Some kind of cohesive critique. Get a screenshot. Get a screenshot. If you look at my body on the half. Beautiful. Let me pull it down so you can get the full stomach. I'm looking at it.

So there is no body on that music video that even comes to a similar size to this. No, they're all incredibly skinny people. If I had seen just one person that looked like this, it would have made me. That would be so rude to that actor. Okay, well then... Imagine you show up. Imagine you show up. Jock, just let me talk for a second. Imagine you show up to a music it's like, oh my god, I booked

a Troye Sivan music video. This is amazing. They're finally doing body representation. I'm gonna be in this video for his new hit single about poppers and then you show up and it's all gay guys who waft around like plastic bags because they have zero

muscle mass or fat on their body and you are there alone as the one fat person I think Jock would play humiliating to that person if it was Jock he would be getting ahead no I would literally I would literally there would be getting ahead. No, I would literally... I would literally...

There would be a Vogue magazine article that would be like, do you remember that one fat person from the Troye Sivan music video? Well, he's actually... This is their bio, and they're really sexy and cool. They're actually insane. Okay, shut up.

They're literally actually insane. They're actually insane. Well, Jock, maybe maybe if you and your community pressure Troye Sivan enough, they can kind of CGI a person of

size into the music video. Or they could put a filter over all the twigs and make them look fat. Oh, that would be really fun. I would be down for that. There's a Troye Sivan Rush in parentheses fat version. This is a really... And there's a Troye Sivan Rush twink version.

That's a lot to think about. This is a little much for my... Just throwing some ideas out there for you. ...for my big old body. Look, I'm going to put a final word on Troye Sivan I just feel like people really I just feel like yeah go ahead I don't want to have any grievances with Troye Sivan because he's

best friends with Charlie XCX by the way I just you keep putting an L in there for some reason there's not as L it's completely maddening like David Sylvian he's David Sylvian's son right yes yeah yeah yeah sorry go ahead Jock yeah I don't I want to say that I

don't want to really accuse him of anything and I don't want to be at war with him because he's too close to Charlie and I don't want to be at war with Charlie XCX by proximity of not liking her friend well they both listen but they don't listen well I can tell Amber

to text both of them they don't listen well i can tell amber to text both yes they do stop don't i told charlie i told charlie stop uh y'all i mean she's been charlie x has been hanging out with two really undesirable queer people lately i feel like people really go after um troy so much for being a twink and it's because like they're jelly i don't know i mean they're yeah maybe not even jealous maybe he's just easy to hate i mean i guess i'm jealous it just it feels it feels a little boring to just keep hating on the the boy yeah troy sovan could fit whatever no troy sovan could fit into my xl deftone shirt and i couldn't and it's not fair yeah that's true that's true i mean like there are so many other twinks that do not get the treatment he gets yeah they deserve it who alan degeneres timothy timothy chalamet no i love

timothy oh what about it well people people also hate on him. Yeah, people hate on him way too much. What about his cop documentary? You're thinking of Harry Styles. Oh, yeah. And it's a movie, not a documentary. See, this is what I mean. When you throw things out there with utter complete certainty

and almost smug moralismism and then you're completely wrong and in the meantime you have confidently called someone a zionist or a cop or something it's like you should really pump the brakes on that well it does not it cannot win you well jock is just trying to be myself you know I'm trying to be myself and I'm trying to Prevent against evil and you know what They're just trying to prevent against evil In your own way you're saving the world No stop stop

Look Are we not in America It's America Can I not express myself Louisiana is kind of it's own country Can I not I am an American And I reserve the constitutional right express myself. Louisiana's kind of its own country, honestly. Can I not? I am an American and I reserve the constitutional right

to say what I want. Yeah. Timothy is still boning Kylie, it seems. Still boning. Yeah, right. Ew. I still doubt they've ever been

in the same room together. There was one picture of them like together and it looked like if you could animate the number 10 walking it was like binary

binary one and zero hanging out but that's like that's that's a completely like fake relationship like 1000 and like so is um uh what's her face kendall a bad bunny yeah like that one that one's still going on i saw that um kendall apparently introduced um bad bunny to caitlin oh my god which we've talked about bringing back but i think we should bring back first yeah we think you think bad bunny should come back i think bad i think bad bunny should come back and meet caitlin okay because you could do yeah absolutely i can do Okay. We should do it. Okay. Okay. Period. That's easy.

Alright. Okay. Let's do it. Jock, we're going to do a skit. We're going to cue some music. Max, play the song. Alright. So wait. Bad Bunny and let's start with Bad Bunny and Candle in the House. Alright.

Alright. Wow. Bad Bunny. Now look. I haven't seen you in a long time. I know. It's good to alright alright wow bad bunny now look I haven't seen you in a long time I know it's good to have you here we're both to be dating

I never even I seen you I know I'm so sorry I'm just so busy with you know the tour and you know

all the tus amigas oh I understand yeah my friends very busy with your with your lady friends I have a lot of friends a lot of them happen to be women it's not nothing to beat into it's nothing to Oh, I understand now. Yeah, my friends. Very busy with your lady friends? My lady friends.

I have a lot of friends. A lot of them happen to be women. It's nothing to read into. It's nothing to look into. Yeah, I know, baby. Okay. Okay, baby. Okay. Look, bad bunny, why don't you stay here?

I'll go get my friends that are in the other room. Baby, baby, baby. That's better. Baby. Yeah, baby. That's better. Baby. Yeah? Do you drive any popcorn? Do you drive any popcorn? I forgot that you love popcorn.

You know, I'm going to go look for some. The kitchen, the third kitchen is about like a mile away by a golf cart. So I'm going to go get some. Don't stay here. Don't move. Don't look for popcorn. Don't go anywhere. Okay, right, okay. I'll be right back. Okay, right.

No hay ningún popcorn en esa casa. Pinche casa de los Jenner's. Oh, oh. Hello? Who's that? Who's that at my door to my woman? Oh, hello? Who's that? Who's that at my door to my woman? Who are you?

Oh, hey. Hola. Hey, my name's Caitlin. I'm, you know, I'm the old Paul and Shane around here. You know what I mean? I'm just kidding. Hola, papi. Como esta todo?

Como esta todo, papi? Yeah, yeah. You're his, uh? Yeah, yeah. Drew is Kendall's dad? Yeah, I'm Kendall's mommy, you know. Kendall's mommy? Oh, you say that with such a Latin flair. In serio? Hey, say, are you Ricky Martin? Mama bicho.

Mommy, in serio? Do you want to watch cartoons with me? Cartoons? Yeah. Me gusta cartoon, si. Mommy. En serio. Do you want to watch cartoons with me? Cartoons. Yeah. Si. Me gusta cartón. Si. Nos vamos.

Nos vamos a las 10. I'm watching Skibidi Toilet. It's a great new videos that are on YouTube right now. I really enjoy it a lot. Did you say? Si. Vamonos. Vamonos, papi.

Oh, papi? Yeah, I have some papi over here. I have my popcorn. I have a lot of different popcorns in here. Do you ever eat popcorn? Your daughter is never giving you any popcorn. I'm asking constantly for popcorn. And she says, what?

What is popcorn? Who is Paco? She's saying. Yeah, she says, who's Paco? She says that to me, too, when I ask for popcorn. So you're her dad. So you're her dad. So you're her dad and became her mom. Yeah, well, I'm not dad, but I am her mom, yeah.

She said she hired dad here. She called you her dad. Oh, she called me that. Well, that's nice. You know, we're still working on it. It's just started, this transition thing. So we're still working on it. What kind of popcorn do you want?

You look good, mommy. Thank you. That's very kind of you. I love a tall woman. It's so tall. But my autism, I need to finish reading you the popcorn flavors or else I can't continue the conversation. We got garlic salt. We got

garlic pepper. We got cheese. We got caramel. We got chocolate. We got vanilla. We got garlic salt. We got garlic pepper. We got cheese. We got caramel. We got chocolate. We got vanilla. We got peanut butter. We got ice cream. I want them all. I want them all. Oh, you know. You want it all, do you?

You see, you do that. You do that, man. A man after my own heart. I love living La Vida Loca, by the way. Here, I'm going to put this as a special. Is that me? I'm Ricky Martin. Oh, yeah, you are.

Ricky Martin. Mm-hmm. See? You're gay, though, huh? You wouldn't be interested in a gal like me. Not anymore. Oh. God, y'all.

I think that's exactly why I like a lady like you. Oh, okay. Because I'm gay. Let me just put this popcorn in my custom microwave I had made. The popcorn button here goes for an extra 30 seconds after a normal popcorn button stops. Because I like it more. Que bueno. Si, you are my type of woman.

You have a popcorn. You have a special popcorn microwave. Yeah, I'm a dream gal. Y something else. You know what I mean. Oh, I'm a dream guy. He's something else. Don't you know what I mean? Oh, I don't know what you mean, dude. You mean my beautiful vagina, because I did get it fixed up, and, you know, I went to the doctor, and they fixed it all up for me.

I got a... Okay, okay. Sometimes the flora down there doesn't really... It gives it kind of an odor. I got to, you know, take care of with... A smelly... A smelly. A little bit. I got to use Lume, the special, you know, deodorant that they sell in the commercials.

I saw a commercial for it when I was watching Skibbity Toilet. It's my new favorite show. Which, you know, it's a great show. It's on YouTube. What's wrong? You're crying? Don't cry. No, no, no, no, no.

No, I'm just feeling a lot of emotions, you know, because I'm just like, you know, I'm stuck. I'm stuck in my life with your daughter, you know, because. Oh, you signed the contract. She? She. I'm signing a contract. And I, I'm kicking myself, you know, because I'm saying, why am I dating this lesbian?

Yeah. For what? Yeah, I was wondering why you were dating a lesbian, too. Yeah. Well, you know, I was dating a lesbian for a long time also named Chris. Disculpe, disculpe, pero la Toro familia gay? Yeah, yeah. Toro's family is gay?

You are seeming gay. No, no. Candle iso's family is gay. Because you are seeming gay. No, no. Kendall is lesbian. Jew is something. Yeah, Jews are something, aren't they? Jews. You, mommy. You, mommy.

Jew is something that's going on. Do you know? Do you know what I mean? Well, you know, that actually has something to do with your current predicament. Because I found out that the way to get out of that contract, if you're a lady. Y Chris. Y Chris tambien.

Me odio Chris. Yeah, yeah. The mayor Chris. Chris is the mayor. Pinche puta Chris. Yeah, she's on the beach, I think, right now also. In Punta Cana. Just like you said.

In Punta Cana. But, you know, in that contract, Now also in Punta Cana. Just like you said. In Punta Cana. But, you know, in that contract, they're trying not to make Kendall seem like a lesbian. And I say no, pao, cor. Yeah. If you become a lady, they're going to have to cancel the contract just like me. I'm going to have to cancel you too. Yeah. I'm going to become a girlfriend. Why? No. I'm going to have to cancel you too. I'm going to become a girlfriend.

Why? No. I see. And you say I'm becoming a woman. I'm going to fucking. Yeah. She might like you better in that way. Nowadays.

When I transitioned, she liked me a lot less. You don't even need a transition. You just say, I'm a woman. Yeah, there's like that nowadays. Nowadays, because everything is a walk, you can just say, I'm a woman. We're on the same page. I'm feeling like it, you know? Yeah, I don't need to change my clothes, my bed.

Well, you don't need to change your clothes and your dress regardless because you do dress in a very gender-bending kind of way. Many people saying, Janelle Monáe. I said, who is Janelle Monáe? Oh, yeah, because you have the same haircut as that man, Janelle Monáe. No. That's interesting. Well, yeah. Sí, sí, sí, sí. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I No. That's interesting. Well, yeah.

Sí, sí, sí, sí. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I see a plan. Yo dice la mundo. Yeah. Yo, Bad Bunny, soy mujer. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah, after I'm a saint, I'm a woman. I get out of the contract, and then I get fucked, finally. Yeah, finally. what I'm saying. I'm a woman. I get out of the contract, and then I get a full candle. Finally. Yeah, finally. I mean, yeah. You know?

Do you think she liked a girl like me? A girl like us? Oh, well, you know, she liked me a lot last year. Do you know girls like us? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, for the girls, as they say. Do you know, like, I don't know. She might be, you know, she's definitely not a gold star. Well, speaking of, you know what I mean.

Gold star, love you. See, see, see, see. I'm following what you're saying. I'm following what you're saying. Hey, watch it. That's my daughter. You know. So that's how you got out of the contract.

You say I'm a woman. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's right. So you like it? Oh, yeah, I love it. I fly my helicopters. I watch Skibbity Toilet, and I bring my popcorn. It's a really beautiful life for me. Maybe we should do it together, mommy, because I'm saying that life, que buena vida, you know?

Yeah, it's a wonderful life. I want a life with Skibity, do that, and a plane, and a popcorn machine. Where are you? Oh, oh my God. I see you met my dad. I mean, mom. Sí, sí. Ella es un papi.

Ella es un mami. Oh, hey there, sweetie. We were just discussing some stuff. Oink, oink. Kendall. Kendall, baby. Kendall, baby. Kendall, baby. Mira, baby.

I have something I need to tell you. Yeah. Okay, Kendall. So, after meeting your... Your pop... Your mommy. After meeting your mommy, you know, I'm thinking about my life.

Yeah. I'm, uh... It's hard for me to say to you, but, uh... I'm a woman. I'm gonna kill myself. I'm a... I'm a woman. I'm going to kill myself. I'm a woman. End scene. Wow.

Okay. Can I immediate really quick thought? That was the longest SNL sketch that I hated. That was the worst. I could barely understand what the Latina was saying, let alone the little mumble mouth uh conservative thanks so much thank you so much for the support you're welcome i really appreciate it i got so thank you for letting us do skits on this comedy podcast

you're so welcome enjoying it um it's something that i really sometimes people people don't say this to you enough jock but i just want to tell you um you remind me a lot of gandhi yeah minus the rape minus the rape oh god the good things about gandhi all the good things about gandhi i always think i'm like wow that's exactly like my friend jock mlk too. Minus the cheating. I was trying to workshop a caption of the video I recorded of y'all and I said they are doing their own original SNL skit right now and it's going for

so long I'm about to kill myself but then I thought that would get removed from the internet. See, that's what Gandhi did. That's exactly what Gandhi would do. Gandhi famously did that when he was in the talks or whatever the fuck he did. whatever no when he had his own podcast he had a podcast similar to nelson mandela as well um yeah you're a lot like mother theresa without the um children she abused yeah crisis of faith yeah yeah yeah yeah yes never had a crisis of any sort

yeah and that's exactly why you remind me of Mother Teresa I've been pretty steady on my and Jesus how could I forget about how similar you are to Jesus Christ and how generous you talk about Jesus or Jesus giving

you all yeah both both well I'm thinking of a different one. You're so similar. I really appreciate that. You're loving, forgiving nature. Y'all are being very nice to me. Yeah, completely sincere. I detect full...

I don't joke about Gandhi. I detect full sincerity and I just want to say thanks, y'all. Thanks so much for being sweet to me. That's exactly right. You remind me of Albert Einstein because you're so smart. I can't even handle. Minus the invention

of the bomb. He invented a bomb. I invented a bong. You would never invent a weapon. I invented a bong. You would never invent something weapon. I invented a bomb. You would never invent a weapon. You would never invent something. I invented several weapons, first of all. I don't think people...

Oh, you have. Yeah, I don't think people were making... Oh, so you're more like Einstein than we think. Yeah. You're a lot more like Einstein. Yeah, one time I put razor blades, nails, and a chain on the end of a baseball bat. Wow.

On the end of a baseball bat. Oh, you mean like... Okay. Yeah, not on the hand part, you dum-dum. Of course I'm going to put it on the part where I hit people. Like in a video game. Ben is shaking his head because he thinks I'm being mean. I also don't think you invented that one.

I think that's like in the Warriors and stuff. Yeah, I feel like that's like a mace. Yeah. My version was different. You heathen, so don't try to stomp on my words. You long-haired beautiful woman.

Don't talk shit. God damn. Exactly. Exactly. Okay, guys. Thank you for listening. J okay guys thank you for listening um jock thank you again for being gracious enough to let us do a skit i really appreciate it yes and um i think this might be a free one if not max just cut it i'll let you know cut here if not if it is um hey guys we're still here um you can find um another um episode on patreon um we usually do one a week sometimes it's two there's also video bonuses on there um but it is always at the very least one extra podcast on patreon um yeah oftentimes it's more um that's seeking arrangements.com

slash patreon you can buy shirts from me at NumberOneFunnyShirt.com. There are Seeking Durangements shirts there with a few other designs. And thanks so much. And you could buy shirts from me with Seeking Durangements designs on them. If you want to look hotter than some kind of funny shirt, man. What's the website? What's the website for that? The is the website is sensitive underscore jock on instagram and they pay on venmo or paypal and that seems so seamless and easy yeah and then um

if i work on somewhere everyone knows this but just so in case you don't follow my instagram i have been accepting painting commissions lately and been without my permission do not ask him to paint Muhammad no do not ask him to paint Muhammad I think that's up to me if I want to paint a respectful portrait okay okay I mean

a respectful portrait that is that is that you you are so dense you are so dense. You are so dense. Do you understand? Do you know what Charlie Hebdo is? Does that mean anything to you? Yes, the French cartoon artist. What happened? He posted

a visual of Muhammad and there was a threat to the... I know this whole story. No, no, keep going. Keep going. Keep going. What did he do? What did he do? And what happened he made fun of muhammad where i want to pay religious i want to pay religious respect to muslim a culture by painting a portrait of it what it means to me and what uh my expression of it and

i actually consulted with one of okay so charlie Hebdo is not a person By the way Charlie Hebdo is a magazine And their Offices were shot up because They made a Islamophobic Yes in France Okay okay okay One for five

Listen up listen up Just so you know any portrait of the Muhammad any rendering of the muhammad any rendering of the muhammad of muhammad is perceived to be incredibly incredibly offensive to a lot of muslim people to a lot it doesn't matter what your intentions are they're not separating the artists from the art yeah but there are but there i don't think there there are make your own bed do whatever you want there no i'm just saying there was someone in the comments of the uh the scholar the renowned scholars in our comments okay they said that um a majority of like between 40 to 60 i thought it was like 40 to 60 percent of muslim communities don't all

believe that muhammad cannot be depicted in imagery well that means that 40 to 60 percent do believe that he can't be depicted though yeah you realize that right there's another the other side of that is again either 40 to 60 by your estimation and don't want you to do this okay okay okay i would hazard a guess i would hazard a guess that the ones who are okay with it probably don't like it when it happens probably aren't gonna try and defend you from the other yeah okay and i wouldn't either okay fine i won't do it i've been convinced i'm just telling you i'm just telling you you know do whatever you want to do do whatever you want to do fully okay completely i'm telling you to do whatever you want to do but maybe you should try to educate yourself you sit your white ass

down and educate yourself a little bit about the issue before you just literally start publicly selling paintings of muhammad okay okay you're right you're right i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm actually i'll say this sit your white ass down no i didn't when when have i ever said that catchphrase you're stupid and you should be quiet okay so anyway as i was saying um i am not going to be doing um portraits of muhammad under uh the advice of my two fellow podcasters Hessa and the pale one with the beady eyes and what I'm going to be I don't have beady eyes okay well whatever there's

something wrong with them but what I'm going to be what I'm going to be what I'm going to be doing is I am privately going to be making a religious offering to the Muslim community in the form of a portrait that will never be shown to anyone.

They don't want you to paint. I think we should move on from this. No, just move on. Okay, I'm not going to do it then. I'm not going to do it. I just feel like... He just wants to what is so you will die on any hill you will die on any hill for no reason i'm not trying to die literally trying to help you okay okay well let me just let's get back to just the regular commissions that are not we were ending the show well then you got to plug your stuff so of course

i'm going to plug my stuff okay 15 fucking minutes because we have to have a discussion about the ethics of painting oh I'm sorry are you on the are you on the way to fucking temple or something okay we almost made it through the whole show please please come on what's left so sensitive underscore jock on instagram

and just dm me if you're interested in the painting I'm I'm doing portraits of pets different themes if you're interested in the painting. I'm doing portraits of pets, different themes. If you want to do it based on one song, currently I have a commission that is based on the song Take Me Home by Pink Panthers. That's cute. That's a good idea. Yeah, or an album or an image.

If you want me to repaint a certain image, I'm down for that. So be careful, though. Don't send me fucking something offensive for me to paint. I won't. I'm not going to paint Muslim community or stuff.

I just wish there was a way I could paint Muslim people. I just feel like if you're just saying this is my painting of Muhammad, it's not a great idea. Anyways, we will end the show now. Thank you for listening. If you want to buy

Hessa's Muhammad portraits, you can find her. You can DM her on Twitter. That sucks. All right. Bye, guys. Thank you for listening. Bye-bye. Thank you. guitar solo Thank you. you