Seeking Derangements - SD 252 - OMG I'm a Chad Yas

Episode Date: September 14, 2023

Sup ladies...today we see which one of us is a voicecel and which one of us is a deep voice chad. We then talk about Larry Sinclair, Obama being gay, Malik Obama, and every conspiracy theory on earth. Subscribe to us on Patreon for a bonus episode each week

Hello Hello everyone and welcome back to Seeking Derangements for this free episode. Reminder, you can always get a bonus episode on our Patreon patreon.com slash seekingderangements Jock does have a new mic Jock does have a new mic so the sound quality is Stop throwing bricks through my window let's say new mic written in

silver sharpie whoever's doing that new orleans is really giving me another astro turfed protest that i was paying for the new guy who moved into jock's neighborhood named mike let's say there's a new mac in town. I appreciate the criticism about my mic, but you don't have to throw a brick through my window that says get a new mic on Silver Sharpie every time you have a problem with it. Your hair looks amazing right now. Yes, it looks fantastic.

Hussies? It's long. No, yours. You got another... Can you turn your head again, please? Can you look out your window? Can you see the Cynthia from Rugrats thing that's going on? You look really good, Jack. It's kind of a war turtle.

War turtle type. Every description you say is... Oh, God. Hey, Cynthia is my favorite character in Rugrats. Cynthia's the queen. Let me just... Let's just... Let's just put...

You want to just roll past that one? Okay. Let's... No, I'm definitely not rolling past that one. Not that you have a tank. I have a tank today, and I'm rolling over everything. Oh, I see. On top of you.

You are not to compare me to the broken doll that looks like a broken doll that's a broken doll from a cartoon you can think of someone beautiful like the mona lisa or like uh uh or the mona asha kutcher like or like uh um or like uh a really nice painting, an Andrew Wythe painting, to compare me to, but do not compare me to Cynthia, a broken Rugrats doll. Are you kidding? We're not even two minutes into the recording.

She's one of the coolest characters. Everyone loves Cynthia. Everyone wants to look like Cynthia also. I see bitches all the time walking around with like three big things of hair. This is not true. Not really Cynthia. Yeah, sure. You just don't see it. It's in New York. There's a big, it's called Cynthia Corps. the time walking around with like three big things of hair. This is not true. Yeah, sure. You just don't see it. It's in New York. There's a big, it's called Cynthia Corps.

That's what Cynthia Nixon was named after. Okay, I'm canceling my trip to New York now. I am not coming. Broken dolls walking around the streets. Oh, there's a lot of broken dolls. There's a lot of broken dolls. I have no idea. They should start calling New York the city of broken dolls they should start calling New York

the city of broken dolls yes LA is the city of broken dreams and angels uh huh yep we wanted to people have been doing this on twitter

I thought it would be fun mostly dolls have been doing this I Twitter. I thought it'd be fun. Lisbon? Mostly dolls have been doing this to see if there's. I've seen a lot of dolls doing it, yeah. To see if what? Well, to see if they, well, because here's the thing. It's a little website that you can talk into and it tells you if you're a deep voice Chad or a voice cell. I love that it's a, it's voice cell.org yeah it's not a commercial enterprise it's an organization voice cell.gov i wish it could tell if i was a barbie a gi joe

a bratz doll or not a cynthia rug wrap don't don't not a c wrap no broken dolls I thought maybe you were gonna go there stop dragging me down to the level of a broken doll I think you look beautiful I think Cynthia's beautiful you literally laughed and it tells you if you're a voice cell

or a deep voice chat and I thought it'd be fun if we all, you know, see, cause like we're, we're professional broadcasters. Our voices do matter more than anyone else's.

I would say. Oh yeah. We're, we're like the top one percentile of voices in the world. Yeah, I think. Definitely. It's kind of shocking that I've been able to do it because I have a formal voice

you have a normal you have a normal voice and Hessa yours is normal too but yours sounds like a foreigner thank you oh interesting okay ready I'm gonna do it let's all do it let's just let's all press at the same time and let's do our normal voice to see

just see where we are there and then maybe you can see who can sound the most female slash gay and then who can sound the most manly okay ready all right I'm I press the button it's it's waiting for my high quality

data I'm talking into the microphone at the same time as everyone else and I'm also... Jock! Okay. I got mine. Okay, I was waiting for Hessa to finish speaking. It's called

kindness. Oh, you're being a gentleman. Yeah, you're being a gentleman. Alright. I've got my results. Jock, what's your median? Oh, fuck. 133. 133. I've got my results Jock what's your median fuck 133

133 yeah show your results mine 111 oh shit I have a mid voice it says your median was 111 hertz mid measured by voice cell

so that means that I'm oh my god I'm a Chad oh my god I'm a Chad okay wait I don't feel like the test was accurate I'm trying one more time

I got a new picture of a naked woman on my wall you are so... That is not what you usually sound like. There's an anime girl picture on Jock's wall for everyone at home, by the way. How did it go higher? Because it could tell you were faking.

Because it could tell you were faking. You were trying too hard. Okay, okay, okay. Let's see who can go the deepest. Jock, you go first so you can be the most chad. Go off. Let me begin the test. Okay, okay, okay. Let's see who can go the deepest. Jacques, you go first so you can be the most chad. Go off. Let me begin the test. The test. Okay, hold on. Shh.

Oh. Hey, y'all. It's me, Jacques, and I'd just like to say that I am here to show you a different world that you've never heard before. Holy shit. Holy shit. Wow, that was've never heard before. Holy shit. Holy shit.

That was amazing. That was crazy. 95. Save your results. Oh my God. We're just going to unveil him at the end. All right. Okay, ready?

I'm going to try. Your turn. Hey guys, it's Ben. You sound like my younger brother. He sounds like a seven-year-old trying to pretend to be a firefighter. I love to, uh, I love twerks, and when the twerks go fast, and

twains, and robots are my favorite toy. Okay, Arnold Schwarzenegger's son. Hoo-hoo-hoo! Okay, Hester, you go. I'm done. Alright. This one might be the most shocking.

Surrender the crystals. You must surrender the crystals to me. Bring me the crystals. The prophecy has been fulfilled. Oh my god, it's even higher. What? What? I got 86.

Oh my god. Fuck you. Can you tell me what yours was? 95. I got 86 oh my god fuck you sorry Jock can you tell me what yours was 95 god damn it wait what number is lower sorry I forgot how to do math could you tell me why does it think my voice is that high

let me try one more hello welcome to I beat Jock in the chat voice so it actually I have a much lower voice. My name's Penis Gregory. Much more masculine than Jock is. Jock also is a little girl.

That's pretty deep. Alright, do you want to go girl mode? Let's see who can go girl. I got exactly basics again. You know who'd be really good at this is Max. Max has the voice of a dandy and the face of one too. you know who'd be really good at this is Max Max has nice the voice of a dandy

and the face of one too you were kind of giving Max when you did the deep voice shock honestly let me try it one more time I really want to I want to do one that's just like a groaning hey all it's me Sean

this is the ASMR episode Hey y'all, it's me, Sean. This is the ASMR episode. I had it at 550 for a second. All right, sorry. That's the opposite. That's crazy. All of our listeners shut it off during that I swear that's what the chat said alright let's go girl voice

girl voice girl voice I've got such a girl voice I'm a Barbie it's me Hessa it's me Hessa and to see how everyone's doing today

oh my god I got even I got lower than the first one I did into you and to see how everyone's doing today. How is everyone doing? Oh my god, I got even lower than the first one I did. What the fuck? I got 93. You're such a Chad. You would be a brick. I would not be a brick. I would not be a brick. You're a gas bitch.

204, okay, that's pretty high. Call me Mr. Gorbachev the way I'm knocking these bricks down. I am the ultimate doll. Call me Mrs. Gorbachev the way I ate a brick. Mrs. Gorbachev. It's my favorite movie. Mrs. Gorbachev, slay those bricks.

Mrs. Gorbachev, stand down. I sound just like one of those women from White Chicks. I'm one of the Wyatt Brothers. Well, that doesn't sound like a girl, though. That sounds like a total faggot. It sounds like a black man doing a white woman's voice. Yeah, 257. 257.

Well, if we're doing that, then I'm a Wikipedia. Hello, how's everybody doing? It's me. Hi, everybody. It's me It's me. Hi, everybody. It's me, Hessa. Hi, good to meet you. It's so fun to do a test with your voice. Hey, everyone.

My name is Ben. And I am from Iowa. And I'm a flat-finger girl. Let's stop it. Let's stop it. Let's stop it. We have to stop it. Okay.

We should proceed to other it. We should proceed to other topics. We should proceed to the crystals. We have some prophecies to fulfill. In other news, the prophecy has been fulfilled.

I love that joke alright Jack we're done with that what else oh okay we should talk about okay what else are we doing we gotta talk about another guy with a very specific gay voice

we are of course mentioning Tucker Carlson. Well, Tucker. Larry, but also Larry. Who was on Tucker. Yeah, Larry. More importantly, Larry. Tucker, I will say,

thank you, brother, for finally interviewing this king. He was, someone needed to give him a big platform. It's hilarious that your career has totally cratered and that you have to interview this guy.

The pain on his face throughout the whole thing is so evident, especially at the very end when he starts like having to be like, all right, it's time. I think it's time to wrap this up. So I didn't see the very end of it. You did, but we can go through it point by point.

It was an amazing interview. I love Larry. I'd always this is my first time I've ever seen him talk about it, seen his side of the story. And I will say, I think he my my general read on this situation is that Larry is a distrustworthy gay lying crackhead. I don't think he's lying about this. I think he is just merely confused in that he did have drug sex with a light-skinned black guy. Yeah. And then just totally Obama was just so, so in the cultural,

you know, consciousness in the culture that Larry, because he's such a narcissist as most gay men are, has this kind of like upward aspirant kind of sexual, you know, inclination notion of himself. Right. So he's like,

Oh yeah. The most famous light skin guy. That was the guy that I sucked off. Yeah. I was like, if Terrence Malick had made two more movies. Terrence Howard. Terrence Malick. If Terrence Malick had made two more movies.

Terrence Malick. If Terrence Howard had made two more movies, Larry would have been talking about how he got raw dogged by him. It just so happened to be it was Obama. I think in real life, it was just a guy who was that shade, honestly. I think he was telling the absolute truth and he was right. And that we're

the ones who are wrong. Jacques, you also listened to the interview, right? Yeah, I did listen to the interview and I only detected truth. And you're totally convinced? I'm 100% convinced. You think that. I'm 100% convinced. Now, I also think that for you.

How did he convince you? What was it? What's so convincing about Larry? Is it the twitching? The miscegenation? It was the moment he got on and he was like, I didn't know who this was at first. But then when someone said something and I was like, yeah, that actually makes sense. Like it all sounds very believable to me

the situation seems believable I think the only credibility that we're trying to uh the only credibility that's shattered is from the man's oral hygiene yeah he's missing a lot of teeth I think my favorite

aspect one of my favorite things he said in the interview was um he was like um you know i wanted to come forward just with the uh you know just with the drug stuff because he says that obama smoked crack in the back of a limo and then sucked him off. I want to clarify that Obama just free-based cocaine. I don't even think he had the time to make it into Iraq. No, Larry said many times that he was smoking crack. Yeah. And wasn't free-basing cocaine, that he was smoking crack.

and wasn't free basing cocaine that he was smoking crack and I think that Obama first of all who is free basing cocaine that's so crazy just snort it why not

free base cocaine the movie traffic is the only place I've ever seen it happen honestly there was one time I was at I was at a concert

I think this is gonna be embarrassing not embarrassing but like crazy I think it was a Tech 9 concert I was at once and a guy

what in the hell I know it was when I lived in Colorado they don't let gay people there and the time I was there and I did accidentally smoke cocaine because this guy handed me a blunt

and I'm like, what the fuck is in there? And he was like, we didn't cocaine. And I was like, okay. And that man was Obama. That man was Barack Obama. It's Terrence Howard. Cuts back to you, Obama. I haven't done it in years,

but smoking coke is pretty low key. It's really not that big of a deal it's pretty normal well um but he was my favorite thing that he said is that he's like people are like why didn't you just come forward with the drug stuff and i said because then if i come forward with the drug stuff and the drug and sex stuff comes out, people are going to be like, he's a liar. He was lying. And I'm like, what kind of,

what the fuck logic is that? If people are like, oh, he smoked crack and had gay sex. It makes perfect sense to me. So everything's a lie. It's all canceled out. The buds under my skin are going to eat through if I tell everyone about the drugs.

Ben, you didn't hear the ending but the it ends on the funniest note because he's basically like yes and obama and obama was you know there were part you know there were times when he was telling his supporters because it ends with the question with several follow-up questions to the question um one of the funniest questions i sent it in the group chat let me find the exact wording because it was so funny oh yeah yeah yeah the question yes um hang on it's loading he's a race hater he's very anti-white but he also had sex with a white man so you have to ask yourself where's the truth and larry's like exactly that's so true and he's like and actually like even you know he was even telling his supporters you know bring bring a knife bring a knife to the to the fight you know

bring a knife to rallies and and that's on record and Tucker's like alright and we're going to have to wrap this up yeah we'll Larry look someone's doing coke behind you Larry so I'm going to guess Obama's never said anything about publicly bringing a knife to any of his conventions he did he did many times

the famous Obama conventions yeah I think like my Larry just Larry and Tucker, just Larry and Tucker are such a kind of charming, odd couple, though. Yeah. You can tell Tucker hates that he has to sit there with him. Yeah. This crackhead.

What's Larry's last name, too? Sinclair. Sinclair. Hilarious last name. If you want to look him up, Larry Sinclair. Larry Sinclair Larry Sinclair I know so I know so many cracked out small town

gay guys like this like just like messed out love them but they're always like kind of rambling about stuff that clearly did not happen he also Larry he made the incredible claim that he's like you know I've always been rambling about stuff that clearly did not happen. Yeah. He also made the incredible

claim that he's like, you know, I've always been working ever since I was a little young. Oh, we want, you know, my first ever job for just pennies today. I was picking tobacco for a black sharecropper family that I was when I was six or seven

years old. I was was they had me work in the farms I'm like what are you talking what the fuck are you talking about the gay young me park the whole family was mentally disabled and they were all kind of they were from the hills have eyes

that movie was a documentary I started that was a documentary I started. That was a documentary about my life. Oh, my God. How many people have y'all had sex with that look like they're from the cast of Hills Have Eyes? Don't answer that. I've had too many sex with people that look like that.

That was it. Oh, my God. Yeah, I was going to say zero. I mean, just for the record it is zero yeah it's zero for me also what is the number for you Jacques do you think yeah um

can we take the man test the voice test again I can't do that yeah I'm like divide by the 20 do the multiplier I don't want to there's some numbers I can't share on this podcast some of them are missing parts you know

that'd be so funny if I was every like amputated person that I had sex with I was like counting them as like a less percentage than a normal person it would be very rude that'd be hilarious

maybe not maybe hilarious is not the right thing if I have a sex with you and you have an amputated limb I promise I'm going to be respectful your mind has been going here a lot the past couple episodes it kind of has

you've always had weird kind of gravitational pulls in your, your thinking. And for some reason it seems to be am amputation is one of them. Do you think maybe there's some foreshadowing there? Yeah. Do you think you're, no,

I don't know. Maybe someone's using a show to prediabetes. Y'all, y'all smiles just went from corner to corner of your screen at the idea. I think it'd be great. It'd be great for the show. If you lost, Miles just went from corner to corner of your screen at the idea of me getting a heartbeat cut off because of diabetes. It'd be great for the show if you lost a limb. It'd be so great if you lost your feet, Jock. I know how much you like roller skating.

It'll be funny because you're fat. Yeah, you could replace him with some wheels. You could be like Rosie from the Jetsons. Or like Tracy Jordan from 30 Rock. You are so like Tracy. It's insane. You are the Tracy Jordan from 30 Rock. You are so like Tracy. It's insane.

You are the Tracy Jordan. Oh my God. Same initials. I'm actually realizing now. Jock is Tracy and Jenna. Yes. Jock is absolutely Tracy and Jenna. I'm unfortunately Liz.

I'm Liz and Alec. Not Alec. I'm Liz and... You're Liz. I'm Alec. No, you're not. You are not Alec. Not Alec. I'm Liz and... You're Liz. I'm Alec. No, you're not. You are not Alec. Yes. Yeah, right, bitch. Yeah. Yeah, right.

Woman Alec Baldwin. I'm Alec Baldwin. I'm Alec Baldwin and Liz. And who am I then? Hessa is Kenneth. No. No. No. Hessa is Kenneth and she's the guy that wears all the trucker hats.

No, I'm not either of those. What's the name of the girl? Hessa, you're Jenna and Liz, I would say. Yeah. Actually, Hessa is the high pitched I have a little Kenneth in me Kenneth is from Iowa Hessa is in the show

and funny enough the actor went to high school in Des Moines the actor is from Iowa and the character is from Iowa Jack McBrayer yeah I love him Hessa you always kind of remind me of

Larry Moveshack yeah yeah I love him Larry interview shock you always reminded me of the woman with the very high-pitched voice who's always drinking with the petite body on with the big boobs on Will and Grace

oh that lady I've never seen Will and Grace I've seen a couple episodes but I've seen like a couple episodes but I know the lady you're talking about you people are disgusting me don't ever talk to me like that again I can't believe you never said the way the interview opened

Larry was talking about how he was like talking to Tucker he was like alright Larry take it from the top what happened and Larry's just like so I was in Gurney Illinois Gurney what I was in Gurney Illinois Gurney what the fuck is Gurney Illinois

like that's so fucked up those towns have those fucked up names I have an aunt one of my aunts from Costa Rica she married an American man and for years the only place in America she had ever been

was this man Jim the only place in America she had ever been was this man Jim. She's called Yeem. The only place she would ever go in America is to visit Yeem in Nalon, Indiana and what I... G-N-A-W bone. Like a dog

chewing on a bone. That's where this man was from. Nalbone. She's like, imagine that being the only place you've ever seen in America. That's her context for America. You think, I'm going to see you in Nabone.

Like, oh my God. Horrible. But yeah, Gurney, Illinois. Gurney, Illinois is also just one of these fucked up towns. Like Hearst, Hearst, Ohio. It's literally

Casserole, Iowa. It's like the of these fucked up towns. Like Hearst, Ohio. It's literally Hearst, Iowa. It's like the dead body of Georgia. White Snake, Montana. Corpse, Arkansas. But yeah, he said that he, okay, he sucked off Obama. Do we have any issue with that? Let's say they were actually back there. I see Obama be completely honest.

I do see Obama as the kind of guy, kind of straight guy who would have a gay guy suck his dick. Yeah. That part checks out to me. I don't think Obama would bottom. Yeah. And I don't think he would suck dick, but I do think he would.

I think it would have to be a Twinkie, like a cute guy and this guy is not that this guy you see that that photoshop picture of them i think they look cute together i think they look like they look really bad i think they look like a cute couple i like looking at him now you're like oh maybe he was cute when he was younger and then you look at a picture when he was younger and he looks like a husband that murdered his wife on forensic files. Absolutely. Absolutely.

I just made an interesting discovery in the Larry Sinclair or Lawrence Sinclair drama. Why haven't we found out Larry is short for Lawrence read this is so crazy y'all I'm about to blow your mind I'm really about to blow your mind first of all his name's just not Larry Sinclair it's Lawrence W. Sinclair and he has a book

published in 2009 Barack Obama and Larry Sinclair colon cocaine sex lies and murder question mark yeah I really just believe he sucked Obama before I saw this

he's been doing this for like forever yeah Jack so this broke your belief of seeing the title of this book yeah he has a book. You no longer believe Larry now. I don't think he's telling the truth anymore.

If the title of the book had ended at cocaine, sex and lies, and that had been the end of the title, maybe I could still kind of believe this. But the fact that the book is called like, guys, I think he's doing this for money. And I'm going to read it as I think it should be. I'm starting to think this guy's lying. Barack Obama and Larry Sinclair are the only parts capitalized.

Barack Obama and Larry Sinclair. Cocaine, sex, lies, and murder? The and murder part is just so insane. Well, because the murder is... Ben, did your part cover the murder? Because my part did. No. Okay.

The murder part is that it's very confusing and very hard to follow. But there was this black, like, politician in Chicago who was openly gay. Uh-huh. Oh, and he died? Yeah, and he got shot in his apartment. Oh. And he, apparently, he called Larry one night out of nowhere. Larry had no idea who he was and was like,

Hi, um, I... Oh, no, I heard about this. I work for Obama, and I know you had sex with him. And I did, too. Yeah. And then he, like, hung up. And then, um um he got killed it'd be such a good way to prank someone yes it's such a good prank phone call just call any

crackhead white guy in chicago and say that they will ruin their life i'm gonna do that to jock. Okay. Also, it seems like the Chicago politician guy just wanted to get out of having to ever see Larry again. And so he faked his own death. Well,

he's never, I love the, they, I don't think they ever met each other or had any contact. I don't, I don't think Obama or the, the, the,

the Chicago politician guy, the Chicago gay politician and Larry, I don't think obama or the the the chicago politician guy the chicago gay politician and larry i don't think they ever like larry at one point larry was talking to tucker and larry was talking like a cop who shot someone because he was like there are a few lines where he's talking to tucker and you can tell it's like, again, I love Larry. I don't mean to demean him with this term. This is said with all endearing feelings. With all most respect. It's like how a crackhead would try to dress up

their speech for a job interview at McDonald's or something. He's talking about how he had sex with Obama, about how he started making moves on obama he said i've done a lot of crazy things in my lifetime i know where in which direction i can move with a certain individual if the circumstances are right that's like what he's referencing there is like putting his leg putting his hand on ob Obama's thigh after smoking crack. I entered a tactical situation with Barack Obama in the back of that limo. You entered a tactical situation. I manually operated a certain appendage.

You're describing Larry's hand touching Obama's thigh after they smoked crack together in the car actually made no essa. It really made me believe again that this guy actually did have sex with him. I think, look, in some way, it doesn't matter. It's possible. In some kind of psychic way, it doesn't matter if it actually did happen or not.

I do think that the mere fact that it could happen and you know it seems so likely that it could happen means that you know at some point it probably did it may not have been with larry in the back of this car but obama has definitely done something like this i don't think so i think i i might agree with you, but those texts that he sent to that girl, those letters, I mean, are yeah.

Obama's letters. He was like, remember the bisexual soft boy letters? Yeah. Those really make me feel like he's never had sex with a guy. Cause if he had, he would be bragging about it in those letters. You know it.

Yeah. You absolutely know it. That could have just been him kind of winding up. Don't you just think on the sheer look of his face I don't know that he's had sex with a guy before he definitely he has he has experimenting face for sure

he does have experimental face for sure yeah he's pretty he's a handsome guy he's a handsome guy I think anyone who looks like that especially like I've said if you're a narcissist and you have a lot of power, just like how Drake has guys suck him off. You get

bored. I'm about to say something very QAnon doorman story. Right wing-ish. I think if Hunter Biden's a painter, then Larry Sinclair's a truth teller and Obama's a gay.

Because if I'm trying to drive a driver told me yesterday that Hunter Biden. OK, that makes sense. And Uber drivers explain to me how Hunter Biden is a famous painter now and sells his money, his paintings for half a million dollars. He's been a painter for a while, but yeah, he's he's selling it for a lot. Yeah. And if and how it's a big conspiracy, but if Trump's children were selling anything like that, they would have already been in jail by now. And he said, I don't know if that's true. I think I think I think Donald Trump Jr. could sell a painting for half a million dollars.

For sure. But they're like involved with like crypto and shit. Like, I mean, Hunter Biden is definitely selling paintings for like for favors with his father or something. I don't doubt that. Or just for like meetings or appointments. Yeah, I think he's definitely doing illegal stuff. But that's what every like spawn of these politicians are doing all the kids are leeching off of their parents

one way or another it's not I don't think he's manipulatively corrupt you know I guess I should have said it let me phrase it this way if the conspiracy theories about Hunter Biden are true

in right wing QAnon mindset that means that they have to be true also about Obama being gay yeah I that's 1000% that does make sense that does make sense yeah no it is simple math it's as simple as 1 plus 1 equals 2

it's very simple math it's very simple math 1 plus 1 equals gay. It's very simple, Matt. It's very simple, Matt. One plus one equals gay, cum. Yeah. I mean, Larry, I also love that Larry lives in Mexico now. That's just another

very criminal aspect to his life. Very gay crime. He said that when he was, me when I moved to Costa Rica, I'd never come back to this country again in my life. He said that he he was, me when I moved to Costa Rica, I'd never come back to this country again in my life. He said that he realized that he had had sex with Obama. Like, he realized who Obama was when he was in Mexico and was watching the DNC and was like, oh my God. Obama gave like this amazing speech at the DNC.

I think it was in, maybe he was talking about when Obama was nominated or when Obama gave a speech. I'm not sure, but regardless, he saw Obama on stage once and he was like, I had sex with that guy. And then he's like, I started telling everyone at the house,

I blew that guy twice. Y'all Larry Sinclair has got a bigger uh rap sheet than fucking oh 17 years okay yeah i was just looking up do you have it jock yeah yeah i'm looking it up right now so just just to think about this in comparison he's got a bigger rap sheet than paulie the actor who played paulie from the sopranos did you know paulie rap should have been on top of your head or something Tony Serco Tony Serco thank you was

in organized crime before becoming an actor depicting people in organized crime and had been arrested over 17 times over 15 years but this guy's been has a 27 year long

criminal record well he claims in the interview he's like actually my criminal record is only 6 years long I don't know how he squares that circle but it means that he was only committing crime

for a cumulative 6 years over 27 years this is so this is so insane that's exactly how i would phrase it if someone asked me how much crime and committed in my criminal life i did only 24 hours 24 hours worth of crime. Okay. It's so funny. Addressing the Pueblo County theft charges, Sinclair wrote in a 2004 affidavit that his I know.

I know. I know. I know. That his alleged victim seeks to use defended as scapegoat For her husband and brother's problems With the Mexican drug dealers

What? Damn, my man's in it Dude, this guy is really deep Sinclair's affidavit I hope Tucker paid it Tucker better have paid to him Of course he paid him A lot of people don't pay their guests

I feel like that was directed Of course he paid them. You don't know. A lot of people don't pay their guests. Oh. I feel like that was directed, but I'm going to choose to. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was talking about, I wasn't talking about you. About yourself? I pay guests. Nope. Nope.

Sinclair's after David. I'm not paying him to guest on his own podcast. Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up. You better paid me. You know what? How come you never paid me, man? I'm a guest. Don't walk down the street alone today.

Bitch, yeah. You're right. Watch the fuck out. I'll knock you out like one of those fucking turkeys running the streets in fall. Come to my city dressed like a fucking orange M&M and see how far you get, bitch. I've talked to people about Des Moines.

Isn't that where everyone was at for the Bernie thing? You don't even know what you're talking about. No. Yes, I do. Wasn't the caucus in Des Moines has to answer me because I can't believe the noise coming from this place. It's in Boise, Idaho.

The cock is everywhere to me. I know that's right. But you worked in the, never mind. I heard a story about a certain Bernie, a certain mutual friend of me and Ben's who was doing door-to-door Bernie campaigning. And he was chased down the street by wild turkeys in Iowa. Russell. It was Russell. Have you never heard this story?

I don't think so. Yes. There are no wild turkeys in Des Moines. I'm just telling you that one. They must have been tame turkeys. I think you had a... they must have been tame turkeys that i think you must have been trained i think you had a um what people call a fever dream oh he's reading something he's trying to read something off his phone hey russell it's jock i wanted to ask you about the time you were chased by a turkey uh maybe in

iowa or am i misremembering this story wrong anyway when you get the chance to let me know about your turkey story if you don't reply i'll never talk to you again you won't be my friend anymore if you don't get back to me why do you hate me please I need this story to be real I'll do anything it would mean so much to me if this story was true yeah I would really appreciate it what else happened in this

interview I mean basically he claims he smoked crack with Obama and sucked him off yeah at the end there's a racist part at the end there's they really dig in on this reporter named Ben Smith

at the end that I've never heard of they both really hate Ben Smith and they both bond over it a little bit I messaged Larry and asked him if he wanted to come on yeah what did he say I want to get dream podcast for me malik for me the dream the dream show yeah me malik and larry okay god you two don't have to be there but i want i

want to be there with malik and larry bitch that would be fun for one or two episodes and then it's like okay can we talk about something Other than Obama Not a new podcast I mean an episode of this podcast I'm definitely going to Iowa I started a podcast with Malik Obama If I am replaced by Malik Obama I am going to be furious

Larry He's not even that charismatic Malik Obama I am going to be furious Malik would replace me Larry he's not even that charismatic I would I mean I would know Larry is actually not very charismatic he's not even eat as much food as I can but

hard foods I don't think at all yeah what I was saying is I would love to have both of them on as guests yeah i did i did message larry on his personal instagram account where he has 200 followers and all the videos are of like dash cam lightning strikes and stuff very strange page but i messaged him and asked if you wanted to come on watching um malik um But I messaged him and asked him if he wanted to come on. Is that what the meth heads are watching?

Malik, unfortunately, will not step down from his $6,000. How old is Obama and how old is Malik? But I did see him offer another podcast, $2,000. So I think he's negotiable on this. Okay. I'm just saying. I still think that's 10 times too much. Yeah.

The listeners would pay for it kickstarter not GoFundMe GoFundMe is for pussies and boobs I'm gonna say something maybe offensive right now but I will do everything

in my power to make sure that our fans don't funnel money to some guy I don't even know instead of us. What the hell? I would be fine. If the fans paid for it, I'd be fine with it. It's not like the option is give Jock $2,000 or give Malik Obama $2,000. We should start two, actually, and they should be competing.

Yeah, okay. No, no, no, no, no. Jock bonus or Malik interview. Yes. No, no, no, no. Where it's just Jock bonus or Malik interview Jock bonus Where it's just Jock I don't understand about this Jock's like I don't want them To give them money that we could be making

But it's like they're paying For this specific thing It's not like the money is just there Okay Obama I mean Malik wanted $6,000 If me Hessa andik wanted $6,000. If me, Hessa, and Ben had $6,000, we would be flying to

different cities, touring, filming content, meeting up with the fans, being celebrities. I don't think you understand how amazing works. If we had $6,000, we could do so much. Well, if I had $6,000, I could get a new hair wig.

You raise $6,000 for a specific project, right? You're not just like, hey, guys, we want $6,000. It could be, hey, can you help fund our tour? That's very strange because no one's ever done that, I think, in the history of entertainment. People pay tickets, but it's not like they're paying for flights they buy tickets but if you raise money

you raise money for a specific cause right so it'd be like hey can we get money for the Malik Obama interview so the money would be just for that yeah I still think I also do think that interview would suck so bad that'd be so funny which is That's the reason that I'm

really trepidatious about it because I think it would be so stupid. Is he Obama's young fuck? I think if it was just me. Oh yeah. He would also hate us. He's an incredibly homophobic man. Is he the younger or older brother? Shut the fuck up.

Is he the younger or older brother? Who are you talking to? What is next to you? younger or older brother. Shut the fuck up. Is he the younger or older brother? Who are you talking to? Did you just smack an animal or something? What is next to you? What did you just tell to shut the fuck up and smack? Oh, you hit your phone. Your phone went off on accident. Did your friend reply to you about the turkeys?

And they said, what are you talking about? I have no idea what you mean. No. My phone went off on accident. That's an amazing. Your passive voice. My phone went off on accident. That's amazing. Your passive voice. My alarm went off on accident and then someone messaged me.

What is going on? If you hit someone in a car, you could be like, my car turned left on accident. Okay, stop. No, no, no. Okay, listen. My car hates me and wants me dead. My, no, no. Okay, okay, okay. Listen, listen, listen.

Yo, my car hates me and wants me dead. Yo, my car wants me dead. I don't know Malik personally, and I need perspective on the relationship between him. None of us know Malik personally. Well, you seem to know him more than I do. Is Malik Obama's younger or older brother? Because it would give me perspective on their dynamic.

Malik is Obama's younger stepbrother, I believe. Oh, so he's just a half-brother or something. Or half-brother or stepbrother or something. Oh, so Malik is jealous because Barack got a cooler name and he's stuck with being called Malik. Malik is a cool name. I understand why you're perceiving it that way. Yes.

I do understand why. Okay, don't ever talk to me like a therapist again. I really do think it would be like a three second long interview. And then you would get mad and leave. Hate you, faggots. Thanks for the 6,000. I think that would be an amazing promo for the show you know

probably better marketing than it would be well because people would be upset when there's no episode you know I mean yeah releasing a three minute episode of him calling us faggots and storming off that would be hilarious

I would rather raise that would be worth six thousand dollars you would gladly pay him six thousand dollars to storm out of an interview after realizing we're lgbtq oh my god i don't know we should raise we should raise if we had to pretend to be cis slash straight for an hour to a member of the Obama family. That's the crazy thing to me. If we had an Obama on Seeking Courage. No, but what would happen is he would take the money and then not come on the podcast.

And there would be nothing we could do. No, no. He is a religious man. Yes, thank you, Hassan. No, okay. Religious people have never done anything bad. He's a devout Muslim. You fucking stupid.

There's a devout Muslim. He's not going to steal money from us I think he would Are you joking right now? Is this guy fucking for real right now? He's like oh he's religious so he would never do anything bad to us He's a devout religious person There's no way that he could ever do anything

I'm about to lose it. You are the Seeking Derangement Sucker MC of the Week. Having faith in God? You are the MC Sucker of the Week of Seeking Derangement's official. Wow.

You are really switching up the format of that one. Who's the fuck would I call if he tried to correct us? Please call us with any corrections. up the format of that one. Yeah. I think if we raised money we could raise I think for $200. Please call us with any corrections. We love to get corrections. Yes, we love to get corrections. People are mad at me because I called Pluto a

dwarf star. A dwarf star? Is it not? What is Pluto? Block them. If anyone thinks... What's a dwarf star? A dwarf star is's not a dwarf star is a star bitch

that's like the sun I don't know what the fuck is a dwarf star but you need to stop talking about it apparently I said it last twice episode

and no one corrected me Pluto is Goofy's dog from the Disney cartoons you can say whatever you want and so long as it sounds

slightly technical and you say it with confidence yeah that's true wait have you seen one of my favorite TV clips ever You can say whatever you want. And so long as it sounds slightly technical and you say it with confidence. Yeah, that's true. Wait, have you seen one of my favorite TV clips ever? The QVC clip where the guy's like. The moon. The moon is a star.

The moon is a star, honey. The moon is a star. Yes, that's you. Literally you. Me at 4 a.m. The moon is a planet. Me and Hessa having a conversation at 4 a.m. The moon is a planet, honey. Honey, the moon is a star.

I don't think so. I don't think so. It definitely is a star. I don't think so. Should we take this quiz? Yes, yes, yes. To celebrate 9-11. To celebrate 9-11.

Are we going to get in trouble for celebrating it? You're welcome. We're moving around recording today so you can do your little auction. Thank you for that. Thanks, Hessa. You're welcome. So petulant.

Doctor Professor's here. I think we should raise $200 for us all to get spray tans. I just had to get that thought out. It's kind of was bursting out of my head. Continue what you were going to say, Ben. It's another pale Joe. Bitch, I'm actually not pale right now. Okay.

Normally I'm not pale for the record. First of all, I've been working in the sun, which you could never do in your fucking life, bitch. Okay. Well, first of all, I was a construction worker before you were even done being uh a straight uh that just means you're old that just means you're old well i'd rather be old than a pale young little bitch like you and young and and and wait and by the way young that to the mirror in Snow White I'm just an old and a pale young little bitch like you

let me just confirm let me just let me let my intentions be known the reason I wanted us to get a spray tan all of us is so that we would have a glowing matching congruent skin tone

for when we went on tour paid by the fans have you gotten a spray tan before yes actually my first cousins I really would love to find the pictures I'm sure it's very offensive or scary

this is like 7th 8th grade and my first cousin, my first cousin, my sister, and like our gay family friend. I'm wearing it. No, do it. Get his braved hand. Do it, Jacques. You look like Mickey Mouse.

Alright, let's get started with this quiz. Let's get started with this quiz. Alright. Dr. Professor here, we've got 15 questions today. Jesus Christ, this quiz. Let's get started with this quiz. Alright, Dr. Professor here. We've got 15 questions today. Jesus Christ, this guy. A little related to... Sorry. Can I... Can the back of the classroom please be a little quiet?

Please? Racist. Okay, keep going. Racist? The back of the bus. Not the back of the classroom. Not a bus driver. Oh, wow. So bus drivers can't have real jobs. Why is being a bus driver a fake job? Why is being a bus driver not a real job?

Why do you hate bus drivers? Why do you hate gay people? I don't. I do. You do? Damn it. And? And what about it?

Oh, wait, wait, wait. Russell's coming back with the turkeys he's sorry I'm just he's uh what the yes I was chased yes I was chased in Iowa by turkeys done and dusted that's my favorite Chinese cooking Instagram TikTok star and he always at the end of every recipe he shows how to cook he goes done and dusted

out of this world love that question 1 out of 15 no I love that genuinely thank you for sharing that it was cute please send me his links I love Chinese cooking TikToks

question 1 out of 15 and this is this is just a very disagree somewhat disagree neutral agree very much agree

you know that make sense Jock yeah does that check out to you Jock yes neutral agree disagree

put the phone down in my classroom. Sorry, Turkeygate. Turkeygate 2021. Turkeygate is settled. It's settled. New and advanced technology which could harm current industry is being suppressed. And I would like each of you to elaborate on your point here. Yeah.

Okay. I'll say it. I'll say it one more time, Jock. New and advanced technology which would harm current industry is being suppressed. I think they have the perfect pussy surgery

and they're hiding it. They're only giving it to elites. I think Caitlyn got it. Caitlyn's got it. That's pretty much all he has. I think Kim Petras got it. Those are the only two. I think they have the surgery that you can get wet, you can get ovaries, you can get pregnant.

I think they have the cure for AIDS. They have that technology, but they're hiding it from the duels. You think they have the cure for AIDS? I'll get you very much agree. Yeah. So they probably have the cure for HIV and AIDS. Yeah. Okay, go ahead. They just want gay people to die.

Who's they? The government. Who else? Period. Doesn't Cuba have an HIV vaccine? Pretty sure Cuba has an HIV vaccine. Well'm pretty sure Cuba has an HIV vaccine. Well, I mean, they have a vaccine, but Cuba has

drugs that stop HIV being passed to infants through mother's breast milk. Well, everyone has those now. Cuba also has mojitos. A cure for HIV. Yeah. What's the HIV magazine?

It's called Paws. What is Paws going to do when they cure it? What is Paws going to do when they cure it? Maybe Paws is lobbying the government to keep the HIV cure in a container of yogurt in a deep state refrigerator. Yes, that's why. So they can have

Magic Johnson on the cover. So PrEP can still keep being sold. in a deep state refrigerator. Yes, that's why. So they can have Magic Johnson on the cover. and the Magic Johnson on the cover. So prep can still keep being sold. Yes. It's a big farm that can make us... Oh my God.

Are you all started as a joke and I'm really scared that I'm onto something? I don't do that. I don't do, I don't do prep or trivada. That's scary to me.

I stopped doing it because it made me feel sick. Yeah, it made me feel so sick. It makes me have the worst nightmares. I can't sleep. It gives me the worst body pains. It makes my diarrhea

come out like... Wait, what are your nightmares like? I didn't know... It makes your diarrhea come out like Play-Doh? What does that mean? It comes out shaped like a star mean it comes out shaped like a like a star you know when you're you know they have all those different when you're playing with play-doh yes exactly that's what i was trying to make

spaghetti ew what is that downstairs no i don't think that's diarrhea if it's solid like that well I guess it can be if it's really soft I can't think about that that's disgusting you're both very much agree I was very much agree for that one as well genuinely question two the government uses innocent

people as patsies to hide its involvement in criminal activity well that's just demonstrably true. I mean, yeah, that's, come on. MKUltra, BTS. What was MKUltra? MKUltra is when they made the people... Stop.

Don't... I really am so mad at you. I understand it's very easy to make a fat joke, but I don't even... How many times have you ever in your entire fucking life seen me eat a candy bar? I don't even eat that much candy. I love the Nugent and the Ben K. Ultra bar.

I'm more offended than you would have tried to tell. I've never even had a Butterfinger. I've never had a payday. I've never had an Almond Joy. Why would I suddenly be eating? What is this candy lies? Sorry, I couldn't. It was more a joke about MK Ultra being a candy bar

than you being fat. Yeah, I am. MK Ultra was the program where they were giving like, giving people acid and, like, there was, like, it wasn't at a hospital where they were, like, giving people acid and drugs and, like, not telling the soldiers and then they got, like, permanent psychological damage from it. You're pretty close, actually. More or less. More or less.

Yeah. Yeah. And, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not gonna actually i was gonna elaborate on something earlier but i don't want to what okay what i just wanted to say that i do think bts could be a government plan yes the band yeah that could be a government plan. Yes, the band. A U.S. government plan? No, not U.S. government. Not even South Korean.

It could be some other group. Please elaborate. Oh, it definitely could be. I'm just saying. Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. Hear me.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Hear me out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hear me out. I'm just saying Oh my god Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay

Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay

Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay

Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay

Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, in certain directions? That's such a good question. What do you mean? What directions? What if their lyrics are subliminal to make us into Democrats or Republicans or like, what if they're

what if you listen to a BTS song and you stop being gay? There's a slight issue with that theory and it's that most of their lyrics are in South, are in Korean. Right? So yeah. But what if you played them backwards? Kind of a hitch in your. I don't want to accuse BTS of being evil.

I'm really sorry. Can you quote any of their lyrics, Jock? Can you give me a lyric you think might be evidence of some kind of subliminal messaging? No, I don't have a good answer. Why? Why don't you know? I just wanted to hear you try to speak Korean.

You really let me down there. Can you try to speak Korean? Korean. Be careful. Be careful. Oh my God. I took it very carefully. Question three.

Question three. This is a free episode. We can't have Jacques trying to speak Korean on it. Okay. Just to clarify, I'm not pretending to be Korean on any episode. We'll keep that one behind the paywall. Subscribe to the Patreon to hear Jacques' various... Subscribe to the paywall to hear Jacques trying to speak Korean.

Alright, question three. The spread of certain viruses and or diseases is the result of deliberate and concealed efforts of some organization. Yep, I agree with that. Jock?

I think the Legionnaires disease, I think the Legionnaires planted it. I think women are lying about fibromyalgia. Oh, okay. I think gay men are lying about AIDS. No. I agree.

I've always thought that Lou Garrett was lying. Are you going to argue with that one? I always thought Lou Garrett was lying. Lou Garrett. He just wanted attention. He just wanted his name on something. He's like,

thank God someone knows who I am because I am a disease name now. What did he even do? Was he a soccer player or a baseball player? You know who he was. It would totally suck to have syndrome, disease, or virus, whatever, named after your full name. Yeah, I feel like Lou Gehrig is the only person I can think of

who that happened to who had the disease. Well, Parkinson's was of who got who that happened to Parkinson's had the disease well usually it's the doctor right yeah Parkinson's was the doctor and Huntington was the doctor and well Legionnaires that's called Legionnaires disease because a bunch of Legionnaires got it and I'm still

unclear what a Legionnaire is honestly to be real it sounds like a squad of ladies who were flying planes. It sounds like what you'd call the first ladies to fly planes in the war. Legionettes. Isn't the

legionnaires the name of a Stephen Hawking's TV movie? Oh, you're thinking of the Langoliers and you're thinking of Stephen King? Crazy. It's crazy you were able to decipher that one. oh you're thinking of the Langoliers and you're thinking of Stephen King yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

yes yes okay I don't need to get into it but thank you thank you for validating me you're welcome how many times did you say my god that woman looks good on my wall wow some UFO sightings and rumors are planned

or staged in order to distract the public from real alien contact yep I think that's true I don't believe in that at all so you think they're all real yeah I do think it's real

pause really quick pause really quick it's saying that it's real. Wait, wait, wait. Israel. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Pause really quick. Pause really quick. It's saying that fake UFOs. It's saying that fake UFOs. He says that every time someone says Israel. It's a hilarious joke to him. It's saying that every time UFO sightings or rumors are out there, it is planned, but specifically to distract, not from the economy or something else, but specifically to distract not from the economy or something

else but specifically to distract from real alien contact well no because doesn't it say that some alien sightings are faked or planted or planned some ufo sightings and rumors are planned or staged i guess it does so some to say some right so to your shock and surprise i did understand the question and the sentence the first time and hearing it the second time I still feel the exact same way yeah I don't think that they are making

fake alien news up to hide the real alien news like it just does it it's too messy it doesn't make sense to me and I know that Jacques is going to accuse me I know I know that Jacques is going to accuse me I know in the future Jacques is going to

accuse me of not believing in aliens because I said that yeah of course I'm going to you clearly don't believe me I do I agree yeah I think some of them are faked Jacques do you disagree I disagree

clearly have you seen, have you ever seen footage of an alien encounter? And have you ever thought it was fake? Um, I know. I think pretty much every alien thing I've seen has been pretty real. I don't think I've ever been in movies and TV shows and stuff?

That obviously does not... I never watched the movie Aliens and said, this is a crazy documentary, you dumb bitch. Do you think it was real? No, I did not think it was real. Every YouTube video

you've seen of alien encounter real 1000% okay not that's a very I think the masked double loaded question I think

that's a double wide question I think it's very clear which ones are faked and which ones are real and I don't think that they're putting out disinformation. I think that the people who put out alien videos that are untrue or just

schizophrenic and didn't get the chance to experience a real alien. Oh, sure. Why not? Nothing wrong with schizophrenics. Have you experienced an alien encounter? You saw the static man I saw the static man

which I felt was like oh you weren't there for that Ben Jock saw the static man you were with Jock when Jock saw the static man I want to talk about this on a supernatural podcast one day but basically on my 16th birthday everyone was asleep and there's

a ton of people in the house and no one else woke up and i heard a buzzing noise from downstairs so i went down and this is when i lived in corpus christi texas the ceiling of our downstairs kitchen when you walk down the stairs you see it as you're coming down was all silver aluminum tile at the top or something like that so you could see the light reflecting brightly from the edge of the stairs yeah into the kitchen and i could see this bright like glowing light and i heard this buzzing noise and i was surprised no one else woke up so i went downstairs and i proceeded past the small computer room that has the same aluminum ceiling whatever and into the kitchen and at the table sitting at the table was like a being of person made completely out of static like it looked like black and white

tv static okay do not try to fuck my story up maybe because you're too horny and you don't get laid enough that you got sex on the brain too much but maybe if you

could pull the cock out of your eyes for a second and hear the story about the alien man anyway he was an asmr static man well i what he was he was paranormal it's a paranormal experience in general but i walked the the glowing was like really attractive like like enticing in a way i could no not like sexually enticing it's just like unnatural like a pulling towards me I walked up to the guy and I touched the body

and then and then I blacked out and when I woke up I was asleep on the couch which was something I never did crazy and I don't sleepwalk so the static man

okay why are you listening to our episode with listen to our second demi episode it's called skyscraper mersbo remix featuring Michelle gold to hear that story but also just listen listen in the future when I'm a, on a certain,

some. All right. Question five, the power held by heads of state is second to that of small unknown groups who really control world politics. I don't really think that, I mean, I believe in that.

I believe in that. I fully agree. I say fully agree. Yeah, like Elon Musk and billionaires and stuff. I think they have a big hand. Or like George Soros. Or the Writers Guild Association. Or like

Georgie. Georgie, we love you. Georgie, we love you, sweetie. Mwah. Question six. Exper experiments involving new drugs or technologies are routinely carried out on the public without their knowledge or consent well that's demonstrably

true like historically like Tuskegee the time they put acid in the New York City drinking water in the 60s did that actually happen? That's why that city is so far out. They released it in a cloud

from a helicopter or something. What the hell? What happened? Did people freak out? Yeah, people freaked out and went crazy. I didn't even know that happened. I think it was San Francisco. It might have been San Francisco. I can't remember. Who's this? The CIA.

Love that. Who's this? I don't. The CIA. The CIA. Love that. Yeah. That's insane. Dosing people is like one of the most evil things you can ever do. Have you ever dosed anyone? No. Bitch, no.

I just said it was the most evil thing you could ever fucking do. I don't know. You're so weird. It's a question. Okay. Okay, Dr. Professor. I see your angle. You're going here.

Why don't you focus on your little quiz and your tiny mustache and your faint skin? Oh, my God. I'm moody today. You got nothing to say? I'm not moody. I like Moody Man.

Detroit-based DJ. Techno guy. I love Moody Man. Yeah, Moody Man's great. Dr. Professor. Question seven. He doesn't even know Moody Man. Shut your fucking mouth up for a goddamn second.

Question seven. The government is involved in the murder of innocent civilians and our well-known public figures and keeps this a secret. That's a duh. That's a total duh. Look what they did to JFK. Look what they did to the Twin Towers. They're not that good at keeping it a secret. That's a duh. That's a total duh. Look what they did to JFK. Look what they did to the Twin Towers. They're not that good at keeping it a secret, though.

Yeah. I mean, Martin Luther King. Do you think the government's ever killed someone that we don't know about? Aaliyah? Buddy Holly? Okay, honestly, if they killed honestly do you think they killed the Big Bopper

do you think they killed the Big Bopper no but I do honestly I think R. Kelly probably put a hit put a hit on Aaliyah oh that yeah I believe that I would believe that I think yeah but

I thought you meant R. Kelly was gonna get killed by the US government yeah I do I do think that there are kill R. Kelly y'all I do think that there is something about the death of Anthony Bourdain that

has to do with conspiracies I know I've talked about it a little bit before just about the Cajun thing, but this is way different. I legit think that Anthony Bourdain stumbled upon something that was pretty big.

Like what? I love how you say his name, by the way, with the little lilt. Anthony Bourdain? And then also I think I think Asia Argento knew too much

about the Meacham stuff. That's why she's a lot of That's why she's on trial. She's on trial? Yeah, she statutory raped a kid. Oh, I even know. I've told this story on the podcast But there's something about

I'm not saying she's a good person She is hot looking But um But you're saying she's a great person She's not a good person She's a great sexy bitch There's something suspicious about Anthony Bourdain's death

Can you tell me what you think is suspicious Why I hate when people do this There's something suspicious about Anthony Bourdain's death. Can you tell me what you think is suspicious? Why? I hate when people do this. Okay, I think it's not really making sense. Like, okay, well, why? What are you hinting at? Who do you think killed him and for what reason?

I don't understand how you think Asia Argento plays. You think she knows who killed him for real they were dating bitch the prevailing theory is that it was her fault who killed him and why who killed him and why I think he was invited to a upper echelon

kind of Epstein situation and they got the wrong idea that he might be into it and he wasn't and he was like I'm going to tell someone about this and they got murdered I think he was suicidal and I think Jeffrey Epstein killed him

so he didn't snitch yeah I think it was very easy just think about it I don't want to think about it what is the Cajun connection? Because you did say that. He went to Cajun Mardi Gras. He was in Cajun Mardi Gras about three weeks before he died.

But that's what he went to. He was going to expose Cajun Mardi Gras for me. Oh my God. He was going to expose Cajun Mardi Gras for what they do to those poor chickens. I think the people that... I think he was targeted by a group of sex traffickers

that he had discovered and then they knew they used to their advantage his drug history and his suicidal tendencies as a way to kill him. Have you ever been afraid someone might do something like that to you?

If you say too much on the pod? Okay, well, I've already been suicide, fake suicide murdered. Who has fake suicide murdered you? No, I'm just saying

I'm saying like in the same way that Anthony I feel no I'm just no I'm saying I'm saying like in the same way that in the same way that in the same way that Anthony Bourdain

was murdered and it was a fake suicide I think that that could happen to me but I think it would have

already happened okay I think I've said too much for what because I've said too much on this podcast

about too many way too many different people multiple groups of people I think I've said too much because I've said too much on this podcast about who multiple groups of people I think I know who not that group of people and not that sounds horrible Hessa no no

I was quoting Jock for the record air quotes I wouldn't say that. I think those people are cool. At all times they're kind of sexy. Who are you texting now? I'm going to text...

Cynthia, put down the toy. Put down the rattle, Cynthia. Put down the rattle, Cynthia. Cynthia has a brush actually. A tiny brush fuck y'all we call some the hate assholes

with fucking broken faces um god we're only halfway through this fucking shit I have to go I have to go do these vows I like

I gotta go honestly okay what time are we on the show do one more question let's just do just do them really quick just do them really quick

well let's speed run speed run speed Speed run. Evidence of alien contact is being concealed from the public. Agree. The thing is, I was strong agree

for almost every single one because it's like the most weak conspiracy theories. Tip of the iceberg. Um, groups of scientists manipulate, fabricate, or suppress evidence in order to deceive the public. Agree.

Yeah, of course. Okay. Can you just tell me, tell me, I don't want any explanation, but just say one thing you think they lied about. Scientists. Yeah. Got gum being think they lied about. Scientists.

Yeah. Gum being good for your teeth. Okay. That's a real one, basically. Me? Yeah. I think it's a lie. One word.

Cock. Yeah. I think it's a lie. That cock. Shut this up. Question. She ain't got nothing to say but cuckoo bananas. The government permits or perpetrates acts of terrorism on its own soil, disguising its

involvement. And again, just quick answer what you think they're lying about here, if you think they are. I think they allow acts of terrorism. I don't know if they perpetrate them but by allowing it they're basically perpetrating it yeah in a very roundabout

way Bush did do 9-11 well I'm thinking more of Pearl Harbor because they knew that was coming why because then they wanted an excuse to use nukes they wanted an excuse to enter the war they weren't in World War 2 until then period um jock jock's sorry he's totally okay yep true it was a true or false question um a lot of important

information is deliberately concealed from the public out of self-interest what a stupid fucking yes shut up idiot yeah that's a duh. Baby write this quiz. Obvious, obvious, obvious. That's why they hide the calorie content of most wake up. Secret organizations communicate with extraterrestrials, but this fact is kept from the

public. No, I don't think that one's true. I think it's true. Catholic Church talking to aliens all the time. That's crazy. You got the format down. No disrespect to my grandmother. No disrespect to my grandma.

No disrespect to my grandma. No disrespect to grandma PP, but I do think them Catholics are talking to aliens all the time. There's a lot of evidence of it, but I don't think we have enough time to explain. Is grandma, would G-Ma PP be mad about that?

Okay, first of all, my grandmother... Question 13. Certain significant events... Mildred would not be mad about this. Grandma Millie. Certain significant events have been the result of activity of a small group that secretly manipulates

world events. Okay, yes, and the small group is called Hessa and Ben. I thought you were going to say something way worse. Same answer as a jock. What y'all think I'm going to say is not Jews.

I thought you were going to say Jews. I'm not going to say anything about Jews. I'm not that bad of a person. I thought you were going to say Jews. I'm not going to say anything about Jews. Really? Well, I don't. Don't you dare. I'm not going to be. I'm not going through the I'm anti-Semitic wormhole. I'm not going through this Jew thing again with you, Ben. I'm anti-Zionist. Jacques is hitting a crack

pipe, by the way. I love Jews. I love Jews. I'm just hitting a crack pipe as he says I love Jews. I do love Jews. I love K. I'm just hitting a crack by Bessie says I love juice. I do love juice. I love Kismet. I love locks. I love the sense of culture.

I can get a video of that, please. I like his Jewish culture. I love the Jewish people. I love juice. I like Billy Crystal. I like, um, I mean, there's so many things about juice. I love Jews. I like Billy Crystal. I like, I mean, there's so many things about Jews. I love Judaism

more than people could ever even know. I'm going to go to Temple later today to prove my love for Judaism and my respect for Judaism. It's Monday, I think. I don't know. They lock the doors? They see you coming up

I think so I won't wear the question 14 oh my god the scary man is back the Dybbuk is back the Dybbuk is skating towards us

at full speed Dybbuk is Hebrew for beautiful woman is skating towards us at full speed. Is that like a Jewish monster? Dybbuk is Hebrew for beautiful woman. Question 14. Technology with mind control capacity. Gollum. Yeah. Isn't that a Jewish thing? Yeah. It is. Yeah. Okay, go.

Sorry. Question 14. Technology with mind control capacities is used on people without their knowledge it's called a freaking cell phone period

it's called tiktok it's called tiktok it's called mk ultra they've done it but it didn't

really work it's called adderall adderall pharma yeah literally pharma is trying to take everything

from us. Google Saron. The girl in the polka dot dress. Look that shit up. That's Hess's fucking memoir. The girl with the polka dot dress. Why don't you try looking that shit up?

Google never trust a bitch. Google never trust a hoe. Google never trust a hoe. Google these hoes ain't loyal. I promise I'll shut the fuck up, but it's so funny when you're out in public and someone tells you to Google something. You should go ahead and Google that.

You really could learn a lot. That's what I say. Google never trust a bitch. Google jury nullification. I don't even know what that means. Don't even begin to try to That sounds like a long Easy way to confuse me

Jury nullification Jury nullification That sounds like Something anti-semitic and I think we should move on I think you've just Got someone on the mind Question 15 I love Jewish people, yarmulkes are great

I'll think of a lot of things about jewish i'm gonna really shocked you didn't say pastrami you eat it by the pound that's jewish question 15 a small senior group of people is responsible for making all major yummy meats in this can all major decisions such as going to war I mean that's like Illuminati that's like Illuminati and I don't believe in that because I feel like

I believe in the Illuminati but I feel like they're fighting for power and they don't have control anymore it's like secret you know it's just the president It's just the president and it's just Dick Cheney. I think Subway Sandwich Chains Google the Iraq War.

I think Subway Sandwich Chains has more control over the people in different nations. Google Jack Gonsolin. Don't Google me. Please don't Google me. Please don't Google me me I'm tired of the I can't take it anymore

when you know but she keeps googling when you know but she keeps googling I'm gonna go to temple embrace Jewish culture then I'm gonna go to Stein's and have a Jewish sandwich I'll record it

I'll fucking I'll make please please please please record you going to go to Stein's and have a Jewish sandwich. I'll record it. I'll fucking, I'll make. Please, please, please, please, please record you going to temple. Okay, that's your assignment. I'm at a long standing respect for all religions. So that is your assignment for the week.

You declared religion the suck MC of the week. But wait. Okay, not even an hour ago. That is your assignment for the week. You make a Jock Converts video. But wait. Okay. Not even an hour ago. I'm taking it back. Taking back what? Respect for all religions or the MC Sucker of the Week?

MC Sucker of the Week. And I'm going to change up something. That's forever. That's forever. No, it's not forever. It's not forever. It's not. It's always forever.

It's permanent. No takesies backies on MC Sucker of the Week that is a that is a I have a really controversial actually I have a really hot take

the real MC Suckers of the Week and this is really gonna go off big so I bet it's gonna be me in Hesla I wonder who it's gonna be

it's literally not going to be you two um but y'all are similar to these people but the MC Suckers of the week are mila kunis and ashton kutcher we do kind of have a mila ashton vibe yeah he's from iowa i i support

them being the suckers of the week mc suckers of the week that video they made was so suck mcs yeah dude how did they think how did they think that was going to play off? Alright, I've got our results here. We've got our results here. They don't bathe. We have to wrap it up. Bitch. You don't know what it's like to be a minister nowadays.

They make you do a lot more than they used to. Alright. He's always working the gay agenda. Keep going. It's for a straight couple I've never married a gay couple and I probably wouldn't agree to I need to be the only gay man up there otherwise what's the point

I would do it for lesbians ready so he is charging them of course I'm not charging them they're my friends you keep playing into it You're going to be here for 10 days. If you keep playing, just ignore it.

Your conspiracist beliefs are, we've got different realms. Different realms for conspiracy. Government is, well, honestly, they're all 100. The only place you guys differ is um on alien

cover-up um jock believes that um alien cover-ups are at like a 90 rate has a year at 66 and then concealed experiments has a year at 83 and jocks at 91 wow at 90 yeah so jock you believe in aliens even less than i do jock you are 20% more you are 20% more uh i'm sorry you're 27.3% more conspiratorial than the average person and as i swear to you you got the same exact rate

wow kind of a coincidence and also i want to say that um um yeah the only reason the alien stuff came up for me, that I believe less or something like that, is because I am so

deeply afraid. You are very afraid of aliens. You made me shut off a video about aliens recently. From the age of four years old. They wouldn't.

Subscribe to the Patreon. Four years old to ten years old I slept with a blanket covering my head because I thought the aliens were recording my experiments of me at night. Everyone subscribe to our Patreon.

I hope you enjoyed this beautiful episode. me at night. Everyone subscribe to our Patreon. Subscribe to our Patreon. I hope you enjoyed this beautiful episode. Your assignment this week is to make a video of yourself converting to Judaism. I'm not joking. I can't convert, but I'm gonna do a Jewish cultural appropriation. Or wait, not cultural

appropriate. Yeah, do a cultural appropriation. I'm doing a appreciation cultural appropriation video drop it on the patreon this week y'all remember that mark jacobs show with the dreidels on the stage will you please go to a temple and film it though like for real i will literally go to a temple like leaving here also i bought you i bought we'll film it film it film it um also i bought you a demi lovato vibrator that's going to be arriving in your house that we've got to talk about making a video on. Okay. I've got an idea for it.

I'm going to do that. And also, I'm going to go to the temple not to prove that I like Jewish people because I do like Jewish people, but just to show how much I am enthused, respectful, and how much I enjoy Jewish culture. Got it. Okay. Well, common misconception.

Yeah. Mazel. All right. Bye everyone. Love you. Bye. Mwah. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 Thank you. you